I... AM STEVE.
>>687770449actually I WAS Steve... But that was a long long time ago....
>>687770449I am Groot
>>687770449Meme magic is real
>>687770449why doesn't he cut that disgusting ass beard?
>>687770449Steve if he a fat
Jack Black isn't funny and hasn't been for at least 15 years.
>>687770449I'M NO HERO, BRIAN !
>>687770449The Japanese did it better
>dadrock song againCan they stop making good music cringe
>>687770449That's one fat Trump-hating kike.
>baaaaaa-ACK
>>687770449
why is this insufferable mongrel in everything
>>687770449>>687770583Years ago, I was Steve
how does this look worse than minecraft shaders
>>687773217What I'm going to say applies to anyone who gets any role in any industry relating to entertainment, "they do good work", "I've worked with them in the past", and "He's so nice off set" goes a long way in an industry built on nepotism and networking.
>>687770449they should've went all in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPdsacajMIY
So this is the result of people not liking Minecraft Story Mode...
>smash steve renders unironically look better
Dude this film looks so ass.
>>687773118Kek
>>687770449Jack Black is a fucking retard.
I watch for snood
Looks like Flopslop kino. Good to watch in the theater alone cause no one else is going to see it so you can drink liqqer and yell at the screen.
>>687773760That's what you faggots said about Sonic and Mario
>>687773217((())) His parents created his career.
>>687773118lel
>stev zoomies we win'dhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl6ekgobG2k
why is everybody saying it looks bad?it doesn't look very good but it doesn't look awful
>>687775076Dude it looks like shit.
What's with all the hate? I'm having a blast with <title>A Minecraft Movie trailer</title>
>>687770449OH MY HECKING SCIENCE IS THAT HECKIN GOODBOI JACK BLACK AS ...... >HEAD TURN ... STEVE FROM MINEYCRAFTOMGI must inform the internet of this!!!!!
>>687773383Or you could just check early life and it would become obvious.
>>687778303Or look at the last name if you want to cut the middle man.
Our dog, Bryan Griffin, is dead!
>>687770449Should have casted someone who looks like Tommy Vercetti.
>>687773167kino
>>687770449>GOOD MOOOOOOOOOOORNING
>>687771598Post dark elf tits now!
>>687773556What film isn't terrible nowadays?
>>687770449Fucking Digusting
>>687773373Minecraft was never good
>>687773502No
they're really doing the Issekai plot? Is that not the most glaring warning of a shit adaptation ever? Fucking Snood girl deserved better
>>687773556It makes me want to merge without looking
>>687773760Good place for Goku and Vegeta to fight since it’s empty
>>687770449>music stopsI... AM STEVE>cuts to the characters reactionumm.... okay?>music continuesTHIS SUMMER
>>687770449Why does his shirt/jumper thing look like someone fished it out of Good Will? Shit literally looks like someone went "yep, cyan shirt that'll do" instead of making something that better resembles Steve's shirt.
>>687770672>>687770449>I am Superman!
>open trailer>immediately see a fat black ladylmao
Why the fuck would they make a movie of this? What the fuck can they even do for a story? Lol. Are they going to kill an ender dragon?
>>687770449why the fuck is everyone in american movies obese now
HOL' UPSO YOU BE SAYIN'
>>687770449This dude should've have had his career ruined after the dead threat to donald trump.
/pol/ is having a meltdown over one of the characters being black lmao
I will push the narrative that having pigs as the bad guy is ACAB propaganda
>>687774053>Your parents gave you a jobHold on the press.
>>687783105It's kinda coincidental how in most games pigs are evil.
>>687773167I've already spoiled myself now but I still plan to stand up and shout kino at this part
Snooba
>>687783547I believe you.
>>687770449>inb4 the plot is that the world is getting sucked into minecraft and turning into blocks and steve turns blocky in the end
>>687770449Jack Black never had any actual range in his younger years, but his characters at least used to have different hairstyles and outfits. Nowadays Jack Black just plays Old Jack Black pretending to be someone else.
>>687770449I AM TUROK
>>687770449This would make a good meme template, too bad I can't draw for shit to make one
>>687770449This was worse than the original Sonic movie teaser and I'm not even exaggerating.
>>687770449I... AM SNEED.
>>687780536The dark elf pegs the MC.
WHAT THE FUCK? I THOUGHT STEVE WAS CANONICALLY BLACK OR BROWN SKINNED?! DAFUQ BROS, THEY WHITE WASHED STEVE!>>687773217
https://youtu.be/lmsAQA3ug1A
>>687770449I hate live action video game adaptations so much it's unreal.
>"What is this green nigga doin?">"WAIT BONQUISHA IT'S A CREEPER">explosion noise>panning shot of Bonquisha flying off>she gets up>"Got dayum he more explosive than my baby daddy"
>>687770449Damn, Steve got fat as fuck.
>>687770991When you're that fat you get a lot of chins. As he's also getting old, he's probably got at least 3 under there, so he keeps it to hide them.
>>687785231he's a jew
>>687783823Is she going to be one of those actors who's never to blame for how bad the movies she's in are, but also is never what makes the good ones good?
Is this how the Sonic fans felt when their movie teaser came out?
>>687778460Black is a very common last name.
>>687770449Steve has no beard
>>687773167>My name is Brine, but I am no ?What's the next word? Does it rhyme with Brine or is it a reference to brine?
>>687787067Mark my words the credit roll WILL have a scene of ice spice twerking with creepers
>>687787493Yes. But unlike Sonic, there's no way to salvage this.
>>687787710Hero
>>687787637You're retarded
>>687783823Would
post that minecraft porn movie link pls
>>687788259Oh, ffs.
>>687770910plz tell me you have a screencap predicting this. i had to come straight here after seeing that god awful trailer.
>>687770449How much money do you think they spent on these spy kids 3D tier visuals
>>687770991newfags can't appreciate facial hair because they can't grow it
>here's your antagonist bro
>>687789643>Thor but fat
>>687773167screaming kino and lighting fireworks to this masterpiece dialogue
>>687773167Kino....
>>687787067the fat black woman is just ragebait. It's not even a diversity thing anymore, they just know that people will ragebuy the movie just to shit on it. Not sure how people have caught on yet. Are people really this gullible?
>>687791846Really, this. Piece of shit is hardly even worth a pirate.
>>687791846You can really tell troll culture won when people do things based on how many people will be angered by them.
>>687787067>MUH DOOP DOO DIDDA>FAITHNIQUA LOOK OUT, DEMS CREEPERS BEHIND YA>turns around>creepers starts hissing>she finishes with -EEEEEEEITTT
>>687788475No the "beard" Steve has is clearly a happy face.
>>687770449>Kyle Gass? Never heard of him.
>>687770449KINOINO
hashtag epic!
>>687794556Does it still count as "How do you do, fellow kids" when he's a manchild?
>>687782970aww hell naw that's Taystee from oitnb they can't hate on her she was the best character
>>687794556>One week later.>Biden? Never heard of him. Kamala is the real badass. You hear her fumbling her words failing to understand very simple concepts and it's hashtag brat.
>>687791846no, she was in orange is the new black and her character was literally a stereotype, she is in this movie because all those meme fat black women lines WILL be her character
>>687791846Ragebait like Concord and the Borderlands movie doesn't sell anymore. Now people see signs of DEI casting and they just don't buy it.
>>687787067>>687793894I would lol if the movie was like this
>>687795258She is bringing joy back into politics, chud. It is time for a change (and by that i mean it's time to vote for the person that's currently in the white house again). We just CAN'T have Trump be president, he is a threat to our democracy.
>>687771598I dropped this when his elf gf started pegging him.
>>687773167Oh my god, we're all going to be destroyed!
>>687773118heh
>>687795707I mean I'd prefer Trump because Kamala is pretty clearly more retarded, but they're both total ZOG-slaves so it doesn't really matter who wins.
>>687770449I like Jack Black.
>Jack Black as Grotesque Steveuh, kino?
>>687773167
>>687794556politics in general is about as far removed from punk as can be, it's literally the establishment
>>687783823She has a cummable face.
>>687796128Well because if you don't swear fealty to israel you get suicided or swallowed up by the ZOG apparatus. At least Trump would keep the streets cleaner and with less mystery meats in the upcoming corpo dystopia
>>687782332I am Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff.
>>687783823I like her best in pink and makeup.
>>687791846yes.
Wow it became real.
>>687770449But Steve is black. Why didn't they get the Rock to play him?
>>687787625>They wanted to make Steve a black man, they accidentally picked Jack Black
>>687770449Are they pulling a Jumanji?
>>687770449It was a beard texture on Steve I fucking knew it
>>687791846She's just the fat sassy black woman. It's a stereotypical character. I promise these things don't exist solely to upset you.
He just looks so passionless, so expressionless, like he's not a character at all it's insane how this was Okay'ed
>>687797391he's shaved in the newer render
>>687770449Going broke status?
>>687770449God I fucking hate modern Jack Black.
>>687770449just watched the trailerfucking putridhollywood is a fucking joke
>>687793804>Movie is made by Warner BrosGOOOOOOD MORNING /v/!
>>687797952Yeah, he and ugly/scary Sonic are worst ever.
>>687795628Just watch Sonic The Hedgehog 2
Jack Black was universally loved until the day he spoke out against Trump. That's when suddenly 1/3rd of the internet turned against him for "reasons."
>>687783823Very cute, would almost watch it for her
>>687798514maybe he just stopped being funny
>>687785108What about the Oni girl?
>>687770449I swear to Notch is Jack Black doesn't do a cover of the Lizard SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD I will not be watching this trainwreck.
>>687770449what the fuck is that gay ass sweater, how do you fuck up the costume this bad on fucking minecraft? Steve's obviously supposed to look like Tommy Vercetti.
>>687798514jack black has always been a loudmouth cringe retard though
>trailer opens with the fat black lady swearingI thought minecraft was for kids
>>687785231Steve if he real.
he's very square, good casting
>>687770449It's somehow worse than I expected.
>>687795707She is finally going to show it to the greedy capitalist by making food cheaper for the hard working marginalized communities!
>>687789643>I AM... er, uh... Hero.. brian
>Watch Trailer>Some guy with long girly hair and a pink shirt
>>687787710snineit's a subtle reference based on the rhyming scheme that only eagle eyed viewers would catch
>>687771210He was funnier as a supporting actorThen he gets a lead roll and it's nonstop guitar sounds and yellingSaving Silverman is legitSo is Mars AttacksKing Kong too
>>687796128>>687796602Isn't Kamala literally so anti Israel she proposes 2 sovereign nations with Palestine rightfully getting their own true country and not allowing Israel to form greater Israel? Like unironically, Trump and republicans mention they want Israel to extend up to the same lengths as the ottoman empire, yet Kamala is the slave when she has been clear she wishes for a sovereign Palestine and for Israel to stop being supremacist schizos?
>>687798809I'll be satisfied if he does a cover of Lizard Squad but the only thing that would make me get up from my theater seat and shout kino is if he goes underwater and sucks on the chocolate lever
>>687770449>I... AMPLACING BLOCKS AND SHIT
>>687770449>We need to make a video game movie>QUICK, MAKE IT AN ISEKAIcan we not?
>>687800386Surely you cannot be that naïve.
>AW HELL NAW
>>687796342Don't lood the snood
>>687782924It is ruined. Everything he's touching is going to fail and be ridiculed.
>>687798514Trump supporters loved Jack Black for his known beisd and red pilled takes.
>>687783497You're a fucking idiot.
>>687782924His tour was cancelled because every following venue gave him the boot.
>>687787067This girl feels out of place, kek.
>>687770449DON'T MISS NOTCH NEXT TIME
>>687800637I now forgive the Mario movie for being the only fucking video game movie that doesn't have a loud obnoxious black woman in it.
>>687800849He has had about zero "beisd and red pilled takes".
>>687782924Nigga it was his bandmate that said it and he immediately denounced it and cancelled the whole tour to save face. Don't act like a cancel culture liberal just because the boot is on the other foot.
>>687801189LMAO
>>687800386you'll learn eventually
>>687801216Kinda funny that the 90's had with Big Bertha.
>>687798514And then he folded like a napkin when his co-host made an assassination joke to try to save his own career. Now nobody likes him.
>>687801290>and he immediately denounced itFalse. He eventually apologized, and then he deleted even that. Don't make up shit you know nothing about.
>>687801380BB just wanted love
>>687800892Literary the safest way to secure a job you baboon.
>>687801430>eventuallyIt was like a fucking hour. He threw him so far under the bus even though it was clear he was totally down with the joke.
One of the best parts about this is watching people who are part of unrelated vidya movies reassure their audiences that they will make sure to stick to the source material and will make the films are high quality as possible, right after this trailer came out
>>687770449UHHH... MEOW?
>>687801461Well that's a no shit. His parents helped invent his career. Normal people don't get to have shit like that handed to them. However for some reason there's certain people that seem to get this kind of treatment.
>>687801216I mean, it does have Donkey Kong
>>687801548>It was like a fucking hour.No it wasn't. >He threw him so far under the bus even though it was clear he was totally down with the joke.No he didn't. He stood with his band mate. Why are you just making shit up like that?
>>687770449Wait, is this real?
>>687801748Probably. Literally everything has to be lame and gay now.
>>687799885>Check colors that everyone is wearingSeems very 80s>Description says he's "the garbage man">Hairy chest>Tassels on the jacketProbably a wrestler?
>>687801667Now listen, DK is one of the good blacks
Peaches peaches peaches peaches peaches
>>687782518In case you haven't noticed, the film industry is wanting for talent. They will use any nostalgia and fan-service they can to get attention and shekels
>>687801723What is this horrible attempt at rewriting history? Jack is that you?
>>687770449Is he going to anal vore banjo?
brown woman!
>>687782518Nintendo and Sonic found success. There trying to be parasites to something that worked for others. It won't work for them. M$ owns that shit now. M$ hates its "customers".
>>687801907No, that's your attempt. You're the one making shit up for no reason. I have no idea why people like you seem to be obsessed with inventing and spreading lies.
https://www.ign.com/articles/minecraft-movie-trailer-gives-first-official-look-at-jack-blacks-steve-jason-momoas-the-garbage-man-and-much-moreI thought this was only an elaborated shitpost by you guys
>>687770449How is Steve so terribly out of shape in the movie about mining and crafting?
>>687802116>uhhh noo im not jack!!!!
>>687770449just checked out the trailer and this looks aggressively bad. Who is this meant to appeal to? Is the main demographic for Minecraft still grade schoolers?
>>687773167Say what you want but when shitty movies go all out on the shittiness it loops back to being kinoJust like the FNAF movie which was irredeemably garbage, but then came the fucking Living Tombstone song.
>>687780603I liked smile. Its it follows on steroids, a little bit of drag me to hell, good filming, top acting, and the movie is secretely based and right wing by showing how nogs actually are.
>>687770449Fat jew
>>687770449Brown Bricks!
>>687801615Like legacy admissions in high-end colleges? Like the failed actors and writers now sucking on Koch brother's tits?
Java Mojave in the train of plane thought for the cave space
>>687802362minecraftia!
steve if he was real
>>687802362Now that's what a real man looks like. Why can't Mike play as Steve? You want a cookie? I'll show you how to eat a cookie! Fucking piece of shit. Build your fucking hut with these brown bricks. Here I'll shit them out for you right now.
>>687802740LOL
>>687791846No one is "ragebuying" a movie, they'll watch the scenes on youtube and laugh at how shitty it is.
So you don't like Jack Black or the Smash Steve render, I guess there's always another option. GOOOOOD MORNING /V/
>>687791846Maybe that works for "reviewer" and content creators. That's not that many tickets. I didn't even go see the early release of the Cats musical remake to see the buttholes. I don't have it in me to hate watch shit. It's a waste of well everything.
>>687770449ah yes, this looks just like Steve Minecraft, from the game Minecraft, as I always imagined he would
>>687803106MY HERO
>>687773167>mfw
>>687773556It's literally a product not a film
>>687785235i want to see if jack black could actually reach these notes lol
>>687802278They just threw a bunch of hollywood shit at it hoping something would stick
Can't wait for the part where Jack Black does a sing XD
MINECRAFT...........REAL.
>>687791846yeah man just like everyone ragebought and rageplayed concord
>>687784076at least in super mario bros movie it wasnt as jarring because he was just a voice actorhere its literally just jack black, its not "steve" or anything its just JB
>>687791846>ragebuythere's no way that's a large enough demographic to turn any kind of profitwhy would mad people paying off their baiters be considered common sense?
>>687785108intriguing
>>687791846this is not a thing that happens anywhere outside your head
>>687789576facial hair = soiboy
A concord thread died for this.
>>687804740Maybe that's what he's calling what the "fans" do when they purchase into this obvious crap. Maybe hardly any of the "fans" are actually fans at all.
>>687791846she's just there for the melon blocks
>>687770449>the joke is he says it like it's a big deal, and it should be, but to the other characters it's an incredibly generic name that deserves no fanfareLol you so quirky Hollywood
>>687770449too many nogs I won't watch it
>>687789576Facial hair is fine. Hobo beards are disgusting. 5 o'clock shadow is optimal.You can't appreciate that because you need to larp as a lumberjack to hide your shitty jaw
>>687806087That's surprising since you watch disgusting subhumans already you fucking /vt/umor
>>687800478im so fucking tired of isekais being in every modern story
>>687784825heh
>>687770449https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vtZcojS9KA
>>687791846no that is just you because you are a racist fucking asshole who can't stand black people in children's movies because you are a pathetic loser
>>687801216You sure about that, anon?
>>687802362
>>687770449Remember when everyone was all appalled about Chris Pratt playing Mario? "Oh, Chris Pratt is in everything, this sucks!"I am one million times more weary of seeing this fat fuck Jack Black in everything.
Mineycrafta if he real
>>687809721me too, and it sucks because I liked Jack Black before he started being the go-to quirky reddit man
>>687789643Notch, I need you to distract Brine
>>687809721I mean we'll get the tired old Steve, who'll exposition dump and then we'll get some cliche bullshit. Maybe he's at the top of the World, and he just doesn't want to fight anymore but then he learns from the new characters yadaydayda. Or he's Old Man Luke Steve whose gone cynical etcA heroic Chris Pratt, being a strong Steve would probably be a better look for the franchise and a better influence for kids watching.
>>687787710shrimp, it's a reference to sea monkeys
>>687801803Great, another isekai adaptation with a band of misfits instead of doing something creative, like just having an adventure happen in a Minecraft setting.
>>687810071'Steve' was butchered and possessed decades ago by Herobrine who finally makes his grand return in the last ten minutes of the movie by slaughtering the entire main cast and then the credits roll as the nether pours out of millions of portals that he's spent the last few dozen years building.
>>687770449well THAT just happened
>>687800637I'm glad the minecraft movie has a sassy negro it fits
>>687791846are certain personalities just banned from movies now? you people are fucking retarded and don't know what you're saying
>>687809721Steve doesn't even have a personality, he's a blank slate so anyone could play him.Mario has been established for years as an italian plumber and Pratt didn't even try to change his voice for the role.
>>687804437As a former fan that got sick of him a decade ago when the trump derangement started and he made some stupid cartoons and songs about tranny Terminator is when I lost my patience with him
>>687809521Damn, Mario was woke before it was cool.
>>687798474Mmmhmmm dem rangzI miss when black girls where funny and sexy not just dull dei paper tigers
>>687783823I watch for she
>>687811302>and sexywhen was this?
>>687773167kek
>>687782687>OH SO WE PUNCHIN THE DAMN TREES NOW?
>>687783823She is one of the most kissable females I've ever laid my eyes upon.
>>687783823>4chuds like Emma Meyers because she looks about 13
>>687801216mario if he real
>>687802973watching scenes on streaming or youtube or even tweeting about it still gives them money retard
can hollywood stop with this vidya movie cringe shit I hope this fails as hard as borderlands so they just fucking stop
>>687812041Undeniably built for making out with while you grope her reasonably-sized breasts.
Did they cast Jack just to have him sing diggy diggy hole or some shit?
>>687812269You just KNOW her mound is smooth and clean shaven with very cute pink lips
>>687770449For me, the canon Minecraft movie was the original Yogscast adventure from back in the day. It was a normal Let's Play and Yogscast turned into a fantastical Minecraft adventure. Those were the good old days of Minecraft.
>>687812334Anon that not the same man.
>>687770449Why don't they dye his fucking hair black or brown? So tired of seeing his half gray half black beard.
>>687794556this is probably why he is getting so much good roles lately, it's all connections and handshakes under the table.
>>687812405Funny that the worst part of their Minecraft videos ended up being the fact that every single series had to somehow turn into scripted cinematic garbage instead of the two dudes just playing shitty adventure maps or checking out weird mods.
>>687812412It's not Jack Black, the man who sings in every movie he stars in?
>>687812126Yes, and?
>>687812126holy shit men like YOUNG LOOKING WOMEN stop the presses
>>687795949pegging is straight
I NEED to pound Emma Myers deep and rough in her tight pink bald cunt. And before anyone pearl clutches, she's 22 years old
>>687787067>>687791846
>>687770449Jack black is the least funny actor probably next to Seth Rogen. The last time i gave a fuck about Jack black was probably 2008 & he's overstayed his welcome ever since. Fucking cancer.
why does jason momoa look like that
>>687806087Based Mikochi
>>687796289isn't this that trans deer?
>>687794556You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain
>>687783823Lickable pit.
>>687770449Damn, Jack Black is a whole lot fatter than I remember.
>>687773118yawn
>>687770449Will Notch cameo?
>>687806087But now you have said that, someone is going to buy it to spite you. It is going to sell a bajillion copy's because a /v/ post said it did not like it and people have to prove you wrong.That is apparently how marketing works now /v/ anon's said so, so it must be true.
>>687800386She literally goes home to her husband and sucks his BJC.
>>687773167 Me on the left
>>687773556>Dude this film looks so ass.Ready for 4chins to seethe when it makes a Billy.
This is a Snood. She will be in the Minecraft movie!
>>687812126>men like youthful womenwow dude you're so insightful
>>687774053His parents were astrophysicists. They didn't have any pull in Hollywood
>>687770449The animation looks like one of those shitty "realistic" minecraft renders people made back in the day.
this is guaranteed to make a billion right?
Snood!
>>687770449I... AM KINO.
>>687813628>>687813858i want to devour her pits
Is no one going to mention the caveman in the pink shirt?
>>687813628>>687813858Tfw no legal hebe gf
>>687814114Why live?
>>687811603Don't tell me you're too young to remember Halle Berry
>>687813628what a dork
>>687798514>everyone likes you until you insult half the people that like youyeah? really?
Snood will save the film.
>>687813628>>687813858>>687814197Incredibly fuckable face>>687814519And legs
>>687812126Well spotted
>>687773167>final scene, at The End>Jack Black and his crew of LBTQIAZNBOQPMX+- fags are working on destroying the End Crystals and killing the Dragon>they've almost killed the Ender Dragon but are all left on one heart>Sheniggua gets knocked back by the Enderdragon and falls into the black void, never to be heard of ever again, which is meant to be a really emotional scene that ups the stakes>jewish xer gets knocked out by the dragon and all the other remaining cunts go to help him>Enderdragon flies full force at Jack Black>he blocks it with his diamond sword, breaking it in the process and getting flung up high into the air>Jack Black breaks the fourth wall and looks up at the health bar>dragon is one hit away>goes through his pockets (inventory)>starts dumping rotten flesh and other useless shit out of it>a single Diamond pickaxe>"HAHA! Looks like it's the End for you lil bro. It's time to mine, to craft this story's finish!">swings the pickaxe right through the Enderdragon's head as a million explosions happen>End Portal opens up underneath as Jack Black falls through>roll credits, as Jack Black falls through a black void, with C418 - Sweden playing in the background>post credits scene Jack Black wakes up in his bed>"Man, what a crazy dream.">looks over his bedside, where the Enderdragon head and Ender egg are
>>687814519Curse my cave man brain. She's like got a buddah face yet I find myself attracted.
>>687814616Anon you mustn't lewd the Snood. She isn't for such things.
STOP LOODING THE SNOODSHE IS FOR CUDDLES ONLY
>>687815365Then she stop being be so deliciously lewdable
>>687812126I like Emma because she's a slightly autistic sweetheart with a stuffed animal collection and surprisingly decent taste in vidya and anime
>>687815202>buddah faceFirst of all you're wrong and retarded. Secondly she is girl next door QT and meant for headpats and cuddles. She is objectively a girl meant for marriage and procreation with an act of love.
>>687815202She has nice full cheeks because she hadn't fallen for the buccal surgery so many Hollywood sluts get
They're being mean to Emma on Twitter :(
/tv/fags are brainwashing me into waifuing a real life actress help
I'm just looking at this scene and thinking about the actors standing in a completely empty room with green screen laid out all over the ground and walls
>>687812356whats the n stand for
>>687815830And which actress would this be?
>>687812356I seriously doubt Snood bothers shaving. I don't know if she even fully understands sexI think she's got a natural moderate supersoft bush (I doubt she can naturally grow much hair)
>>687771210Once he got the kung fu panda money he fucked off. He had an embarrassing cameo in the Mandalorian with that fat black rapper Lizzo. He just doesn't even try anymore.
>>687815830Embrace snood
>>687787067>Uhh... Shaniqua? >We're supposed to be collecting obsidian right now.>So... why are you building an automated melon and chicken farm?
>>687809521lmao, a spiny
Reminder that Emma grew up doing dance, gymnastics, and figure skating and so is super athletic and flexible (and tight)Look at her tiny waist and cute butt here
>>687787067LMAO
>>687816276She was also homeschooled and likes nerd shit
>steve the generic character who never talks and lives in solace........is actually LE QUIRKY FAT MAN
>>687816370>ywn watch anime cuddling with Emma on her bed surrounded by her stuffed animal collection
>>687770449hate that fat kikehes probably one of the worst actors in history, who only knows how to play himself, and himself is a fat annoying kike
>>687787067>black>fat>ugly>blackSo diverse.
>>687791846Like people ragebought dustborn?
>>687816557>I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE LOVE>ARRRRRRRRRRRRRHIGHFIFHHHHHHHHH
I'm being convinced more by the day that I somehow died a while ago and ended up in hell
>>687770449isn't Steve supposed to be a mexican or something?
>>687816557I can only hope she will find a good man that will treat her right and won't divorce her some 10 years down the line.
>>687816901>Hteve
>>687802740This but unironicallyhttps://the-realm-of-macabria.fandom.com/wiki/Eashoa_Msheekha_(Jesus_Christ)?file=Pasted_Graphic.png
>>687770449Fucking hell I hate John Black
>>687809437I am a racist asshole and I think all nonwhites (you) should be removed from white countries at gunpoint
>tfw jack black sings a classic tobuscus minecraft song
>>687816209Why does the creeper look so fluffy?
>>687797952>>687773217I always thought he was insufferable I don't know why it took the average person so long to see it. Look back at his old shit and tell me it isn't just as cringe as now. Don't let nostalgia blind you.
I...AM BREADQUANDA
Here's your smash movie, /v/ros
>>687793701>troll culture won"Troll culture" has been dead because it devolved into spitefaggotry to mask seething over dumb shit.
>>687794556Ahhhhhh, so this is why the election tourists are trying to censor Jack Black at all costs now.
>>687770449I hate this faggot so much, why cant he go away
>>687817598jews are hard to get rid off
>>687817557What does that even mean? He's just a bit of a faggot. He has a great voice though.
>>687817807What do you think it means goomba?
>>687770449I WHOLE HEARTLY CHUCKLED
>>687770449I'm glad his schtick is finally wearing off on everyone making them realizing he was always an unfunny fat one trick pony.
>>687782332Holy Kino>>687770449>>687770672Holy Cringe
>>687803106He's in!
why is Jack Black always just himself and never an actual character?
>>687782518film/tv industry would rather taken a known IP/marketable product and slap a generic ChatGPT story on it than actually try to come up with something original, because their billionaire investors want a safe return on their investment
>>687791846>ragebuy>buywho the fuck buys movies, buys DVDs, buys youtube payperview or even goes to the cinema anymore?
>>687812356I'll never get /tv/'s fixation on casting couch cocksleeves. At least fictional women haven't taken 5 miles of semite cock to get their roles.
>>687800171>Saving Silverman is legit>So is Mars AttacksHe was in those?
I was devastated to learn that Jack Black is a jew.
>>687787067If she acts stereotypically black, it will be funny. I will watch it.
>>687819261It's some retarded forced unfunny meme that came out of the wednesday general threads.
Can't wait for him to play Banjo in the upcoming Banjo Kazooie movie alongside Scarlett Johansson as Kazooie and Melissa McCarthy as Gruntilda.
>>687770991I bet you he requires it to stay for everything he does, or he leaves the set
>>687819451I don't think I'd like to hear him play banjo, he's not that good at guitar so I can only imagine...
Jack Black is based though
>>687818950Same reason actors like jim carrey, will farrell and the rock keep playing the same characters for most of their careers. Retards pay to see it and it keeps making them money.
>>687819612Didn't he praise Biden on stage?
>>687819318
>>687793804>picrelPost it
>>687812126out of 10
>>687798514>Jack Black was universally lovedon reddit maybe
>>687809521Well played my friend, well played.
>>687819989I do like Will Ferrel's character though.
>>687819318Hes been in hollywood since he was a kid. There's no way he wasn't.
>>687820461A jew gif, how topical
>>687795949Proof?
>Dude, how do we adapt literally the best selling game ever to film?>Uhhhhh...... Well.............. [SHITS PANTS].......That's how you do it!
>>687773118I wonder what sounds a sheep makes when you crush its neck
>>687815869you can literally see the aberrations where the green screen walls are
>>687819318How the fuck did you not know? He's a huge hollywood leftist who openly endorsed the death of Trump.
>>687820486>>687820732I meant a few years ago not now now.
>Jack Steve: There's only one way out... but it's risky>Dumb child: Wait you don't mean >Steve Black: Yes. We're going to have to dig STRAIGHT DOWN! >(Moment of silence for the audience to gasp)
>>687820732>who openly endorsed the death of TrumpWasn't he the one who cancelled the tour over that? (obviously was scared shitless, not because he disagreed with it)
>>687800171>King Kong tooI remember he got a lot of shit for King Kong purely because "WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE THEY CASTING A COMEDIAN AS A SERIOUS ROLE" but I thought he did a really great job, especially given how different it was from the usual parts he plays
>>687820732>>687820908quite frankly any celebrity who doesn't either fully support the death of Trump or the death of his enemies is a pussy and a bitch
>>687820908He was laughing along with Kyle that night, it wasn't until he got caught that he started apologizing
>>687806087migo... don't look...
>>687798514I just don't think 60+ year old out of shape people should be actors anymore. Move on and let a new generation of actors make a name for themselves. I don't want to see another Indiana Jones movie with a wheelchair bound Harrison Ford that cannot even form a coheirant sentence.
>>687812126Utterly based.
>>687821008>let a new generation of actors make-How's that working out for you retard
>>687815783What are they saying?
>>687820515I used it just to piss you off further.
>>687820723Yeah now that you mention it, lmao did they think those red lines wouldn't be noticeable??
>>687821159The actor is responsible for this and some other (((entity)))
>>687821159Bro, none of those things have souls. You can only act if you have a soul.
>>687773217He was broadly popular for a long time and captured several key demographics that a lot of other hollywood actors didn't.It takes a long time for corporations to clue into shifts in popular opinion like happened with him.
>>687770449>trailer says to let your imagination run wild and to build>100% there will be no building and everything will be pre-establishednot kino
>>687770449>Jack Black born to jewish parentsWhy is it always jews?
Seriously who is Jack Black? I had never heard of this fat cunt until what was it that 2017 Jumanji (which was dogshit) and all of a sudden everyone was all about wholesome chungus Jack Black.
>>687818950Type casting, when some actors get really known for a specific role they'll keep grabbing the actor to do said role in other things and only offer said type of role, like Adam West always playing himself but weird.
>>687821480Because they'd like you to believe they were a minority and the 6 gorillion got rid of 99.999% of them so they can victimize themselves further.
>>687821519Zoomer.
>>687815189>C418If we get any Minecraft music it'll be the new garbage like Pigstep but I'm not expecting anything but dad rock.Maybe we'll get an epic orchestral version of one of the oldies at the climax if we're lucky
>>687821649So you know him from such boomer classics as Kung Fu Panda, Nacho Libre or the 2005 King Kong movie, which I'll give credits I did remember a fat dude with a camera. Real boomer classics that zoomer definitely wouldn't watch.
>>687819318I was devastated to learn that Jack Black isn't black.
>>687798514I always hated him. Loved watching him get blown to bits in The Jackal
>>687820723That's just the chunk border.
>>687817335Some Creeper named Detrice
>>687815869Welcome to modern filmmaking. I often wonder how common it is for actors to feel like their talent is wasted on this crap.You'd think big stars like Robert Downey Jr and Hugh Jackman would think it's beneath them
>>687819318You realized Jack Black is just a stage name right?
>>687793894>>creepers starts hissing>>she finishes with -EEEEEEEITTT
I hate this timeline. It's bad enough we're getting a Minecraft movie at all. Does Bowser REALLY need to share an actor with Steve? Why don't we have Ryan Reynolds play Link while we're at it even though he has already voiced Pikachu? At least Link and Pikachu belong to the same company.
>>687773167>post credit scenes if they were good
>>687822291The shire isn't real? Then what the hell do they sell tours in New Zealand for?
>>687795949>>687785108This was not what I had in mind when I said Dark Elves were weak to anal.
>>687809721Chris Pratt was decent as Mario. I don't know why people still hate him.
>>687799123Soul
>>687822514It's real but most of the interiors aren't
>>687822514They built the exteriors there outdoors
>>687822514Don't tell anyone, but they built a fake Shire after Fellowship because the hobbits were getting sick of all the tourists
>>687770449Told ya Steve was white.
NEXT SPRING
>>687821835>Kung Fu Panda>BoomerAnon, I don't think you know what that means.
>>687823268I was being facetious because this guy called me a zoomer for not knowing Jack Black. You are retarded, and it's too late to delete your post now.
>>687820963Jack Black was the least of King Kong 2005's problems. It was a three-hour slogfest that was trying to be at least two movies at once.
>>687783823I could get behind the movie if it was just her and the dorky jew(?) kid. They get isekai'd into minecraft and build stuff together while slowly unraveling the mystery plot with Steve (maybe he has gone insane from being stuck in Minecraft, resulting in the Herobrine Jekyll/Hyde dynamic). Could even play into the gender roles of how people play the game. The boy goes off on an adventurous hunt and mining while the girl spends all her time making an elaborate and pretty house. Anyway I am just not sure why they included random fat black woman and Jason Momoa who is looking like he is about to yell "IT'S MA'AM". It gives strong soulless vibes like a 'Dwayne Johnson in jungle' flick. It gives the impression that they don't have a story to tell, it's just a gang to circlejerk random gags while they rake in the dosh from the brand name.
>>687821519>I had never heard of this fat cunt until what was it that 2017Based
>>687770449This feels like a parody instead of an attempt at a genuinely good movie.
>>687822156I've always hated Jack Black and Robert De Niro. I loved the conclusion to Taxi Driver in 2019.
>>687813628Would X2
>>687823779That's every movie based on something else for the past decade.
>>687770991How does he even stand it? I gotta shave once I get to half that or I'll itch like mad.
>>687802008Sonic has stories and two of the leads of are giga Sonic autists dragging it into watchability
>>687773167kek source on this? or is this pic all there is?
>>687790019Someone didn't play Snoy of War
>>687787067I can hear her without ever hearing her voice. What is this phenomenon called?
Jack Black was great in School Of Rock.
irony poisoning is lethal
Is jack black gonna be the new seth rogan?
>>687824019idk i got it from the Minecraft thread on /vg/
>>687791846>>687793701weird how its never done in reverse
>>687819989Jim at least openly fucking hates doing sequels even though that's where the money is, he only returns to Eggman because he never got to play the villain and his grandson is a Sonic fan.
>>687820717Alot of carnivores hunt by biting the neck and their jaw muscles are incredible. just watch a nature documentary to find out.
>>687824158No, Kike Rogen has the audacity to shit talk white people every chance he gets, I don't think Jack Black has the balls to do that.Between that filthy jew and [also jew] fat fuck Jonah HIll, one of the best movies of all time has been ruined forever and I want them to pay with blood for it.
>>687821004would
>>687823885It's probably fine if you condition it, but it doesn't look conditioned to me
I can't believe Steve got whitewashed
>>687823360>Hurr durr I was only being facetious
>>687796007lmfao
>>687770449what role will kyle gass have
will minecraft youtubers make an appearance?
>>687813434seethe trooncel
>>687794556>The LITERAL ESTABLISHMENT is "punk"Can't believe I used to actually like Tenacious D, holy shit.
>>687813717Its all one tribe newfag.
So do the zombies all look like Steve? Should raise some question from the peeps.
>>687801216Idgi but Mario if he real
>>687815869Minecraft modpack for this feel?
I thought Mojang were filthy rich. Unless this deal was made before Minecrafts popularity, why even entertain a license agreement with WB?
>>687825660No that's Notch when he sold it and Micrsoft after buying it and getting kids to buy Minecoins for Bedrock edition.
>>687812154Compared to how much it cost them to film and pay the famous actors' salaries, then distribute the films across theatres and host it on streaming services, is me watching two 3 minute clips on youtube before I get bored that profitable to them? that's about 14 cents in revenue at best.
>>687806407>/vt/umorGot a kek out of me.
>>687810813I will be more pissed if her role leans into minstrelsy. Like all the damage Leslie Jones did. Could have cast someone like Halle Bailey, at least chuds would have been secretly wanking off.No, what I'm waiting for is the reversal: casting someone like Willow Smith as the attractive foid lead and a ham planet like Lena Dunham as a foil.I'm convinced this would help solve race relations in America.
>>687787493
>>687821004finally a sexy vtuber
>>687787637Yeah, he only has a soul patch
>>687791846No? People are simply not buying woke garbage anymore. I know Hollywood is stupid, but they're not so stupid as to (deliberately) lose so much money just to own the chuds and Yahtzees. I'm betting she's their genuine attempt to capture the mythical "modern audience".
>>687770449Steve is supposed to be a 2 meter tall jacked guy, not some old cuntS m h
>>687795039It counts twice as much since the effect is doubled.
>>687826506>they're not so stupid as to (deliberately) lose so much money just to own the chuds and Yahtzeesflat out lie
>>687770449Jews will make sure to ruin everything you love.
>>687798514I haven't liked anything Jack Black was in since Tenacious D and maybe a few of his Sesame Street skits just for the irony of him being on children's TV at the time. He kind of fit Nacho Libre but that movie was mediocre at best. I think he's been cast for the most unfitting roles for decades at this point and he ends up dragging most of the movies down, not like most of his movies would be much better with someone else in his roles.
>>687794556
>>687773167>movie is a backdoor thriller/horrorThat's the only way out
>>687825660M$ bought it for an absurd amount of money.
>>687821004I NEED TO COLONISE
>>687770449>jumper instead of shirt>couldn't even find one with an actual neck
>>687799123>The more we mine now the less we'll have to mine when we take this town over.
>>687791846>all these zoomers agreeing when "sassy fat black retard woman" has been a common trope/stereotype for decadesAre you all genuinely retarded? It's a garbage trope but this has been a thing forever.
>>687826624This Steve was a regular guy who got trapped in Minecraft land for decades. Now he has to show the new guys the ropes.Calling it
isn't minecraft technically already an isekai though
>>687826791This is why we stand with Biden. Because he can't stand on his own
>>687827276No?
>>687827238You're theorizing as if anyone here's gonna watch this dogshit movie
>>687770449>didnt get a haircut>didnt shave slightlythis is so low effort lmao.do kids even know who jack black is?
>>687798514I always thought that nobody would ever find out that he's supposed to be funny if he didn't already have that reputation for some weird reason.
>>687773167KINO ALERT KINO ALERT
>>687824019I took it at my local theater.
>>687814314>Halle BerryWas never hot from the get-go.
>>687796689Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenvanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum.
>>687802362>>687809719I still don't really understand this video.What was his malfunction?
>>687773167Will he appear?
>>687827626I'll watch it for free. I'll even resort to a cam rip if I have to
>>687820038Nevermind I take it back.
I AM...REPAIR MAN MAN MAN MAN
>>687787067PassNext movie
>stomping, uh... ENDERMEN
I like how he literally doesn't even try to look like Steve.
I don't think young kids know any of those aging actorsIs this movie for manchildren only?
>>687823360I've reported you for being under-age, faggot.
>>687828714Good job for ripping images off of KYM, newfriend! You'll fit right in.
>>687812126Cute projection + no self awareness lmao
>>687770449The live action actors green screened in, cast, and humor are all complete garbage but I honestly don't see a problem with the environment and creatures. It's a decent take on the look of the game. The animals look silly in game, I don't get why people have an issue with them being silly in the movie.
>>687827895How's it even out? Didn't the trailer just drop?
>>687828681Minecraft is for manchildren at this point
Corpos defeated the Metal.
