I dont give a shit, I'm a grown ass man with a wife and kids who could beat the shit out of every one of you with my bare hands. I started crying uncontrollably when this title screen and its theme music hit. https://youtu.be/xmkMgG37030?si=aAgy40HKlE6vwivP18 years since Prime 3. 8 years since announcement. 6 years since development restarted with Retro. I have waited the greater half of my life for this shit, and fuck every one of you niggers this shit REEKS of kinoness.god FUCKing dammit I love Nintendo. I'm gonna make sure my boys are raised on Metroid. Game looks and plays fucking incredibly. Thank you so much Retro.
copypasta from reddit
>>727637672>Tears of joy on the title screen >Tears if despair once you start playing
>>727637672SOI
>>727637672what a fucking downgradehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86Z4bwdxn_Y
>>727637672>I started crying uncontrollably when this title screen and its theme music hit.
>>727637672source? I wanna see what people said to this in the place where it was posted sincerely
>>727637947The game fucking rocks lmfao. Pointer controls with maxed out motion controls, 0 dead zone. Maxed camera sensitivity. Samus has literally never controlled better. Graphics look and run marvellous at 120fps.Internet faggots who dont play games and dont have good hardware always say everything sucks because they're poor.Wukong was and is awesome. MGSV was and is awesome. Cyberpunk was awesome on day 1 and just kept getting better.Nier Automata was awesome and only fully recognized as a masterpiece years later. Many such cases. Prime 4 is yet another.The faggot ass Nintendo reviewers who have never played a first person shooter game in their life got mogged on Easy difficulty. Because unlike other Prime games, Prime 4 requires you to aim.I'm only 3 hrs deep and its already painfully obvious this is game of the year. Fuck all of you niggers. I fuck my wife every night and then go play games, unlike you faggots I actually know what the fuck I'm talking about.
>>727637931>>727638373ok nerds find me where else this was posted. Spoiler alerts: it wasnt posted anywhere, I just wrote it myself just now.
>>727638589can i play w ur gyatt?
>>727639114I dont speak zoomer. I got nut hairs older than you.
>>727639165He's asking if he can play with your ass
cringe, game sucks unc
>>727637672This is better title screen music you gay gay. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFBUtNrw6xM
>>727639165Pretending to be out of touch doesn't make you cooler.
>>727641282fuck both of you, nothing stacks up to this shit https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
>>727637672GAY
>>727637672I wish i could cry anon. I can never experience that anymore as an adult.
>>727637672you're gonna make sure your boys are raised on parryslop?
>>727638234this is what every company wishes you were
>>727641704i dont fucking care about being cool. I am bald and grey, I will never be cool to you kids ever. I will however be right, which is better than being "cool" to zoomer faguettes.>>727642151You still can. The trick is to actually care about and love things regardless of what anyone else on earth thinks. In reality, this is the manliest thing anyone can do, and makes you feel more human and connected to things. Life is better when you care.>>727642151
>>727642410what does this fucking word even mean. you don't play games, you parrot buzzwords. I do play games. And so will my kids.
>>727637672Lmao faggot.
>>727637672>god FUCKing dammit I love Nintendo. I'm gonna make sure my boys are raised on Metroid. Game looks and plays fucking incredibly. Thank you so much Retro.
>>727642481I think Nintendo and Valve are the only two companies that could do this for me. The only two companies left who produce their games with absolute sincerity and devotion to crafting not just a gaming product, but a work of art.
>>727643426Honestly Myles is kinda funny. He's LITERALLY YOU the character. A bit annoying at times but it breaks up the silence a bit that has always been in Metroid games. I am okay with this series trying new things.
>>727637672I don't get why they took the atmospheric first person simplified metroid and said to themselves "GUYS WHAT IF GAYLO"twicewhat the fuck is wrong with these people lmao
>>727637672Hire me Nintendo
>>727637672crash thread
>>727643787Half of Retro is now 343's rejectsknowing that, are you surprised Metroid Prime 4 turned out to be Halo: Other M?
>>727637672I hope you and your wife's penis are very happy together.
>>727643787What. the fuck. are you people even talking about? You guys just parrot a bunch of shit and pretend you understand games youre too poor to play. Metroid having NPCs does not turn it into Halo.
>>727637672>I started crying uncontrollably when this title screen and its theme music hit.holy ick
People will brag about how much more "mature" they are then tendies and then turn around and completely fucking fall for this thread.
>>727644492false. it's just another haloslop.
>>727644845you were not even a fucking zygote when Prime 1 or Halo trilogy dropped. You would not know what a Halo game or a Metroid game was if both of them held you down and gangraped you in front of your Gen X parents.
>>727637672>reconnecting with a happy, simpler time in your life ends makes you feel emotionalWhy do you gotta be so defensive and insecure about this? I'd rather my dad be unafraid to be real about his feelings than be an insecure coward.
>>727637672I like the opening song. That's about it.
>>727645169lol. the only ones insecure about this game are those who feel they have to hate it in order to fit in. I literally just told you guys I started crying at a fucking title screen. Dunno how much realer I could be.
More like Metroid Prime 4: Beyoncé cuz this shit gay as fuck
>>727637672>>727637931Alright, Mike.
>>727643029based poster
>>727637672If this made you cry I highly doubt you could beat us up
>>727637672
>>727643548lmao you have shit taste if you soiboi out for post botw nintendo. keep chugging that corporate cock
>>727637672your gay
>>727648424lmfao this image is extra funny to me because I'm the black guy who's also a PC gamer and a Nintenbro at the same. I'm fucking my own wife with both the steam and Mario hat stacked on top of each other.>>727648564I am old enough to remember all eras of Nintendo. They fell off after Gamecube, Switch and Switch 2 eras were when Nintendo uncucked themselves.
>>727648679>the two blatant cash-grab consoles were when Nintendo found their way againmate you need to go back to r*ddit
>>727646861Nah I could definitely beat every single person in this thread within an inch of their life. None of you whiteboys ever even been in a real fight. You cannot cry because you have never known what it means to fight for anything you truly loved. You people stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.
>>727648836yeah the two consoles where they stopped forcing dumb gimmicks and just started pumping out nonstop banger games since 2017 up until today are definitely the best era of Nintendo besides SNES to Gamecube era. Nintendo lost me hard with Wii and Wii U, won me back with Sw1 and Sw2 is literally just the vastly better version of it. I could not say which of these two periods are better.
Imagine crying for some lame ass sequelIf I didn't cry when my grandma died, what makes you think I'll cry for this shitI still miss her a lot and I hope I can make it to Heaven to see her again.
>>727637672I dont get it, I've never played a metroid game but in my understanding these games have almost no story and no characters. Why would you be crying about revisiting an arcade game sorta like street fighter? what possible nostalgia could you have about it? I played Mario on gameboy when I was a kid and it's a similar situation. I have zero emotional investment with Mario or its games because why would you!? There is nothing to even connect with, it's just a jump puzzle / arcadey game.
>>727649102>what possible nostalgia could you have about it?Not OP but the original Metroid Prime was a lot of fun to play and I have a lot of good memories playing it
>>727648679>I am old enough to remember all eras of Nintendo. They fell off after Gamecube, Switch and Switch 2 eras were when Nintendo uncucked themselves.i feel exactly the opposite. the switch itself is really cool for being a handheld and had a good library overall and garnered a lot of good will from me, but their first party shit fell off a cliff. pikmin 4 having the rainbow cast of diverse corpo friendly fuckers ruining the atmosphere and talking constantly, girlboss princess peach in odyssey, the removal of dungeons and item gating from zelda (plus sissy link in drag) etc etc all head scratcher decisions and design concessions. prime 4 really emblemizes, for me, that nintendo is now just bending the knee to aaa style design philosophies. for that reason, i dont expect their runaway success to continue after the switch 2. people will be slow to catch on, but once they turn smash into a fortnite clone, charging battle passes for splatoon 4, day one dlc for every 1st party title, gacha zelda etc then they'll follow the aaa studios and downsize/scale back and change tactics (probably to some mobile based model). just 10 years later like always.enjoy your quipfest game though, couldnt be me.
>>727649102These games could have no dialog like Prime 1 and still be the most overwhelmingly kino shit you have experienced in years. Try actually playing games man. Prime Remastered is the single best Sw1 game there is.All you guys talk so much shit and only the uncs like me are actually out here fucking pussy, lifting weights and playing video games.
faggot
ANY HALF LIFE GAME THAT DOESN'T USE THIS MODEL OF ALYX IS BULLSHIT
>>727649015the absolute state of Nintodddlers
>>727649340understand that the majority of anons you're replying are SEA and indians that can't afford the console
>>727641704TALKING LIKE A FUCKING NIGGER SUB-HUMAN DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL EITHER YOU BROCCOLI-HAIRED RATSPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH NIGGER
>>727637672It's kino and it will probably age more gracefully than Prime 3 but it's not without its flaws. The story and NPC's aren't great but whatever. The level design is painfully linear and the open world desert thing where you collect crystals is downright embarrassing for a game of this caliber. It feels like a beautiful alien sci fi adventure with really jarring elements of iPhone shovelware thrown in for some inexplicable reason. Overall it's still a good game.
>>727649250all those words and you said so little man. I just cant imagine being such a bitchass that you cant enjoy Mario Odyssey, one of the greatest games ever made, because Peach is a "girlboss". She's literally a damsel in distress 90% of the game lol. You would know these things if you guys actually played the games youre spouting buzzwords about. Also you can feel free to disagree but I played every 3d Zelda before BotW... man I didnt even fucking think Zelda was that great before BotW and TotK. Honestly go runback OoT, it's not nearly as interesting or innovative a game as BotW or TotK. Those games give you true freedom to craft your own solutions, OoT and WW were literally designed for me and my elementary school buddies to solve the puzzles while we were still bedwetters lol. Off the top of my head:Odyssey, Xenoblade 2, Dread, Smash Ulty, FE 3H and Engage, Advance Wars remake, Mario Wonder, Mario Maker 2, fuck me even Pokemon Scarlet was a good game underneath the terrible performance. Bayonetta 3, Astral Chain, Tropical Freeze Remastered and Bananza. And now Prime 4. Yeah this era of Nintendo has fucking kicked ass.
>>727649881>likes movieshit and goonershit like Xenoblade, Fire Emblem, and PokemonHmmm, that would explain your low standards.
>>727649418Yeah I know. I am 35 man. I am a grown ass actual man who has lived life. In gamer years I feel 97, none of these gayass kids can relate to me. I have experienced every era of gaming since the NES. I have to maybe accept that I am just too old for this website. All the other uncs like me who actually play games presumably left for greener pastures, or perhaps just the solitude of actually playing games in peace without arguing with low testosterone zoomers parroting whatever their favourite streamer told them to think. I can only have a real conversation with other uncs at this point. No wonder zoomer women chase big millennial cock, all the men their age are emasculated faggits.And yeah the hoardes of impoverished thirdies too poor to buy games is another factor.
>>727650183you dont play games. you know you dont play games. go learn some new buzzwords.ill never understand you gayass kids. you'd rather just watch streamers spew buzzwords rather than play games yourselves. real cuckgamer mentality. I just have nothing in common with you.
>>727649734Calm down unc
>>727637672>t.
>>727650505>you don't play gamesI'm playing an OOT/MM randomizer as we speak. Super fun, since it tests your knowledge of the game and asks you to figure out unconventional ways around obstacles, since it robs you of the items you'd normally use. Like I'm 20 hours into this playthrough, and I still have to deal with Young Link not having a sword. Best part? No quippy NPCs to shout wacky catch phrases at me. :)
>>727637672your wife fucks niggers behind your back and your kids hate you
>>727650970yea just HEY LISTEN 800 times. to each their own I guess>>727651001I am a nigger and I fuck my wife from the back. lol.
>>727641282SVVL>>727637672FVRCVD SVVL>>727638139RVTRV SVVL
>>727648679>>727648847>>727645701>>727643648>>727643029Good morning, sir!
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