I just took a shower, and the whole time, I was thinking about how my current dream is to leave this addiction behind. Yes, I've always fooled myself into thinking I could quit whenever I wanted, just like I did with cigarettes, but no. This addiction is stronger than anything else I’ve been addicted to in my life.Stronger than cigarettes. Stronger than sugar. Stronger than watching anime. Stronger than any sin I’ve indulged in. This is the only addiction that sometimes makes me tear up when I think about it. 'How did I reach this point?' 'How did I spend the last 3 years of my life, every day, playing gacha games without achieving anything real?' 'How did it get to the point where I graduated from university and was the only one who didn’t attend the graduation ceremony because I thought if I went and came back, it would be too late, and I wouldn’t be able to finish the daily missions for the 10 gacha games I was playing at the time'... How? Why did I end up like this?Why can’t I wake up tomorrow and decide to delete every gacha game on my device? Why can’t I train for 13 hours a day at the gym? Yes, I want it to be 13 hours. I wish I could transform in a year into a beast that has nothing to do with the failure I was a year ago.
I wish my body would be muscular, and I could use the good genes I inherited from my parents. I wish these muscles, along with my bearded face that looks gorilla-like from a distance, and my future choice of a brown outfit would make me carry the full aura of a gorilla that makes every woman in my path tremble and try to flee from me. And I wish every man who sees me would be mesmerized by my strong body, try to talk to me, and become my friend.I wish these muscles would make it so that if I went to a bunch of Uncontacted people tribes out of the reach of normal knowledge and showed them the transformation I went through, they would think I have superpowers and start begging me to be their leader and savior.I wish these muscles would make me forget every moment I spent sitting, playing 4 gacha games at the same time like a madman, switching between them on the same screen with every loading screen that happened in one of them.I wish these muscles, which killed my previous addiction, would become a symbol of spiritual peace for every addict who sees them and would allow them to imagine themselves like me, realizing that there’s hope for them to transform their state from what it is now to one similar to mine.If I don’t go to the gym, no problem.I wish I could read books that would open my mind and teach me how a person can make friends in their mid-thirties when they still don’t have a single friend.
I wish I could develop team sports hobbies that I could participate in with other people, talk about, and finally feel like I’ve become normal.I wish I could start looking for a life partner who would be with me in good times and bad, and have children with her, take care of them, and find joy in my lonely life.I wish I could get a job and move out from under my parents' roof after reaching this age and still living with them.I wish I could get a driver’s license and start driving instead of my current situation, constantly needing someone to help me get around.I wish I could learn how to cook, do household chores, tend to our garden, cut my hair, and take care of my personal hygiene.I wish I could change... I wish I could change, and all of this that I am now would just be a bitter memory with a sweet sting, reminding me of how hard I worked on myself and broke free from this addiction called gacha.
Just delete it
>>727676898i believe in you anon
>>727676898This is literally what methadone clinics are for
>>727677884kek
