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It's been almost 5 years, but tomorrow I'll be ditching my gf.

I know it has to be done, but I still feel like I'm actually dying inside.

Comfy papes please. No feels papes.

Also welcomed:
>Comfy food
>Generally somber but relaxing
>Gondola
>Contemplative
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>>7679434
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>>7679435
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>>7679436
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>>7679438
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>>7679439
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>>7679434
>>7679435
>>7679436
>>7679438
>>7679439
>>7679440
I don't have that many papes that fit the description, so that's about it. At least enough to follow the 3 image rule.
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giving you some pape support dude.

Its good that you realise you need to take that step forward for yourself, sometimes people stay in bad relationships because they're afraid to be alone or they get that sunken cost fallacy.

Breathe. Live life for your own happiness
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>>7679476
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>>7679477
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>>7679478
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>>7679476
Thanks dude.
My problem is that I don't work properly alone for very long, so at some point I will have to get back in the hunt.

I just don't want to think of it now or maybe for a few months after I'm done. I need to get out more and fall in love again with myself.

Hence the papes.

Thanks.
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>>7679480
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>>7679481

The right person will come to you. Love yourself first
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>>7679483
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Wish you the best op
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>>7679493
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>>7679494
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>>7679493
Thanks. Also nice pape.
It's exactly my jam. Chill winter stuff and cityscapes.
Fucken, compliments to the chef.
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Clear your mind.This to shall pass.
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>>7679434

You've known it for quite a while now. That dying inside is just emotional backlash and wishy washy thinking. Do NOT dwell in it as it will only bring you down. No sappy lovemusic,movies or ANYTHING that reminds you of her cause it will be just like picking at a scab to make it better.
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want to talk about it OP?
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>>7679778
OP keep yourself busy to keep your mind off things. Keep moving forward
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>>7680814
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>>7679434
you arent in there a alone anon, be strong :).
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Only today I was comparing it to resetting a broken bone. It's already broken, it'll hurt, a lot, but if it is not done...
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good luck
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>>7679434
/bro-hug OP
I ended a seven-month-long relationship back in October after the red flags were too much. I know that feeling of sadness from losing someone from your life.
It gets better when those toxic people are out of your life.
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Love. How'd it go? How you doing?
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How do you love yourself? That's something I've wondered for a long time and I still don't really know what that's like.
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>>7679434

You're worth more than you think, Anon. Don't worry you'll be fine, I believe in you.
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>>7679436
This place looks amazing. Is it real or from some game?
Also wish you the best OP, focus on what would make you happier in the long run, even though it sucks right now. Fill your time with stuff that makes you not think of her.
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Not sure why but I always feel comfy starting at this one.
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>>7681953
why don't you love yourself?
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>>7679434
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>>7682368
I'm not sure. I just feel apathetic when it comes to my self image. Like I'm ok, but not worthy of love.
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Comfort is a state of mind. Hope you discover yours soon
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>>7682662
I've been feeling the same lately, anon. I don't know how to fix it. Feels like every day is a rainy one and good things are hard to come by. I'm just hoping life takes care of it on it's own.

You're not alone.
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>>7679434

bro. Been through the exact same scenario last december.
We were about to hit the 5 year mark (2 weeks to be precise) and for reasons not worth mentioning, I ended it. Felt very sad and lonely for the first 2 months, then things started to get better and I'm at 90% now.
Don't stay in a relationship that doesn't work or makes you unhappy. It's gonna be a bit tough, but you will go through it and will overcome it.
I will upload a couple comfy papes
Stay strong! cheers.
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>>7683079
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>>7683080
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>>7683081
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>>7683036
Nor are you, bud. I hope this melancholy passes soon.
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>>7683037
anyone have a centered version of this?
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>>7683162
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>>7681953
I have no idea anons...whenever i feel down i remember a few "wins" that i had in life, which reminds me that even if i am not a "top tier pick", at least i got my quirks.

Also purpose gives me a sense of love to myself, my purpose comes from the responsabilities i bear. They are not much desu "working, taking care of my mother, writing for my few fans on a retarded fb page..." but i realized that as little and pathetic i can be i can at least carry my weight from point a to point b. I wouldn't say i'm happy, but i am at peace, if i had the possibility to swap my life with another one i would not do it.

"Find the heaviest cross you can bear and carry it to highest hill you can climb"
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>>7681953
"loving" yourself is commonly explained as just thinking you're really great and whatnot but that's just narcissism/being an idiot/asshole. Really loving yourself is just seeing yourself in a sympathetic light; not like you're the best in the world.

If you really love someone; maybe like a parent or best friend. You dont love them because they're the "best" but because of other more humble reasons and even their negative quirks you'll often find endearing. It's just that feeling but on yourself.

Another example: imagine a really good author or artist. They can take something you might consider boring or uninspired or unworthy or whatever and explain, through their story, that actually that subject is very beautiful and worthy of respect/dignity etc. Someone like Tolstoy does this very well. A character might seem like am evil cunt or a boring asshole but by explaining them in a sympathetic way he'll force you to empathize and actually like that character. It's the same thing but on yourself. Again, not like you're the best in the world; but good enough, with secret dephs of character and private struggles that are actually quite important and fulfilling.
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>>7686162
>>7686179
Thanks, anons. I think where I struggle the most is finding something purposeful to keep me going. I'm trying, but it's a very long and arduous road to get where I'd like to be. It makes finding purpose in the mean time quite difficult.

As for loving, I've come to understand love as a motivation for the preservation and promotion of the wellbeing of the target of love. This has a reciprocal consequence that you want to be the best person you can be to meet the requirements to preserve and promote. I really haven't any understanding for how to direct that to myself. I'm just apathetic towards myself; passively acceptive. But I feel no good or pride towards myself.
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>>7680815
Is there a way to make this fit as a phonepaper without it looking like shit? I've tried and it just zooms in to much. Tried to crop it but I cant make it look right.
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>>7687019
>>7687019
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>>7688692
Thank you anon. I really appreciate it, you made my day alot better.
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>>7687019
depends on the phone, if you mean Nokia 3310, then probably yes, otherwise if you mean iphone 12 or galaxy s20 then maybe not so much
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>>7688692
Youre a good man
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My gf broke up with me yesterday and said she hasn’t loved me for the past 9 months. She says she still loves me as a person but not romantically. We’re each other’s first and I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with her. I’ve never felt worse in my life.
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>>7690169
it's your first time, that's when it always hurts the most. i know your pain brother, it will get better
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>>7679434

I'm in a similar position. Realized that my gf of two years doesn't value me or the relationship enough, and came to the conclusion I should cut her off a few days ago. She was my first and I love her more than anyone, but I just don't see her changing.

Her avoidance and emotional distance has hurt enough that breaking up almost feels like a relief at this stage.
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>>7690199
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>>7690201
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>>7683079
Listen to this man. The best and quickest way out is through. Chin up, shoulders squared.
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>>7690173
Thanks anon, I just don’t understand how we could go from planing a future to breaking up in less than a week
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>>7690199
I'll never understand this. Why not actually talk to her about it first?
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>>7690656

Did you read what I wrote?

I have tried to talk about this with her too many times, but she is too avoidant to have this kind of discussion. She just withdraws and withholds affection and contact.
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>>7679434

Anon, this is not going to be easy. You're going to question your decision. You're going to spend many nights alone and remember how nice it was to have her near, how nice it was to have a companion. You might start to feel better after months, and then face some other unrelated hardship that triggers something in your mind that makes you wonder about her, how she's doing, and question whether you made a mistake or not. It's a long road, but eventually you'll think of her less. After the better part of a year you might realize that you haven't thought about her in a week or two. I went through a very long term relationship breakup nearly two years ago.

I had met my girlfriend at 15, we were friends for two years, and then we dated from 17-25, our lives were completely intertwined. I guess I learned the hard way that the person you select at 17 is unlikely to be who you would have chosen at 25, for many reasons I won't go into here. It took me a long time to get out of this relationship, and I was feeling dead inside until something happened which made me snap and end it. Sometimes you just know for a while that something is off, and it can take a while to pump yourself up to do what needs to be done, which isn't ideal, but normal.

Eventually, you'll start dating again and have memorable experiences. The freedom of that will vindicate you. You'll meet new and interesting people who you otherwise wouldn't have met, and it will add to you life, even if it takes a while to find the right one. For me, I took more than a year before I started that, and it has it's ups and downs. Just trust the plan my friend, it will all make sense in the end.





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