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What's on your mind ?
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People who make off-topic threads.
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>>7683648
You are outing yourself anon
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>>7683640
People should take life slowly.
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I injured my wrist pretty badly not too long ago, and have let myself go quite a bit. needless to say I am quite frustrated as I cannot work for a long ass time, since I don't want it to progress to a chronic injury. family members are also dropping dead like flies and I dread the day death steals my grandfather from me. needless to say I feel like shit is spiraling downhill fast and I am powerless to do anything about it. anyways thanks for (not) reading my blogpost
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>>7683666
I'm working on that.
>>7683640
Been stressed out lately for a multitude of reasons. I've been letting my thoughts of other people's expectations or perceptions get to me. I need to bring it back to myself, slow down a little, and remind myself that the only person I'm trying to be better than is the me of yesterday. It's easy to say but hard to do, especially when I'm around people at work or even some friends
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>>7683680
Hey anon. I'm sorry to hear about your wrist injury and your family. When I was younger there was a time when funerals seemed to follow me around for years, so I can empathize with you on that. If you'll accept some unsolicited advice: spend as much time with him as you can. I never got to appreciate my grandparents before they died, and I now wish I had that time back. He sounds important to you, so go see him or call him often. As for your wrist; I hope it gets better. Take the time off work if you can, and let it heal. Read books and work on small projects to keep your mind sharp and body active.
You may be powerless to stop things from happening externally, but you do have the power to handle them internally.
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I've struggled for so long to improve my life, but it's never really gotten any better. Recently moved home back with my parents. I don't know what to do anymore, what else to try.
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>>7683712
Hey anon. You're very right that it's easy to say and hard to do. If it helps, you can also say the only person you're trying to impress is the you of tomorrow. Like how you of yesterday and you of tomorrow want the best for you, so too do your friends want you to be the best person for yourself that you can be. Little steps, even steps back, are just part of an overall upwards trend.
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>>7683734
Hey anon. That feeling is really quite dark, and I hope that you soon see through it. There's no shame in moving back with your parents, especially if you're young. Men spend decades working on themselves and reap those rewards in the prime of their lives. Don't try to improve your life - try to improve yourself and your ability to soldier on. Sometimes life is difficult, but it doesn't mean it's unconquerable. You are unconquerable, the world isn't.
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Am I burned out? I feel like I haven't gotten anything done in a month but I have deadlines coming up fast. I can worry about it later if I can push myself to work through it but it feels like nothing's been coming out. I'm not worried about it like I should be. How do I get out of this rut and work like I know I need to?
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>>7683741
Hey anon. There's really only way way out of the rut, and that's to pull yourself out of it. Sit down and bust through that workload. Tell yourself, out loud if you need, that you will do the work, you want to do the work, you're excited for it, and you will succeed, and you will feel proud and fulfilled when you finish the work. You've had your time off, and now you're lethargy is your body and mind begging for stimulation and fulfillment. You can do it, anon! Go and do it!
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>>7683734
similar boat here. it has been many, many years of this now. i feel very alone. hopefully we can make it, anon.
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I don't know why music exists and i can figure it out
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>>7683784
can't*
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>>7683666
I like this in principle but I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to stop comparing myself to others, I don't know how to let go of the years I've already "wasted" and stop feeling like I "need to be doing so much more," I just don't know.
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Hey anons, I am struggling with figuring myself out. I have always been happy alone, but recently I am not sure if it's because I have suppressed my sexuality to the point where it's non existent or if I actually don't have one.
But making any changes in that regard feels like I would be betraying myself, I could go on and be happy like this, or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know.
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I have a gun and I'm not sure when I should use it to kill myself, getting towards the holidays so I'm thinking I should wait until new years day or maybe new years eve.
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>>7683827
Life is always changing, and so do we as we interact with it. There is no such thing as personal betrayal in that sense. Only in severe breaches of morality, based on what you know to be clearly right and clearly wrong. What you're talking about is personal growth and self-reflection. Whatever you decide you want will be up to you, but know that you can be happier knowing that you opened yourself to change and then made a decision based on a new situation. Do what you think will make you happiest in the long-term. Don't be afraid to rethink the same questions later. This is the best way to progress through life.
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>>7683844
This is something that you should always put off. Do your best to enjoy the holidays and take comfort in the simple things. Cherish and hold onto the feelings, and remember them. Remember that they will always be waiting in the future. Life will always have challenges, but we cannot appreciate the joys without knowing some sorrow. Do you have someone you can talk to? Especially during the holidays try to reopen personal relationships and get invested in them yourself. There is no way to describe that pain that it would cause to the ones you care about and who care about you if you took your own life. And I guarantee there are more people that it would hurt than you realize. Most people are too caught up in their own worries day after day to show it, but that doesn't mean they don't care.
Keep fighting for me, man. I'm invested in your well being now.
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My chronically loveless existence. I can't seem to make friends or love anyone. Even though I've had girls literally throw themselves at me, I've felt nothing for any of them - except for one who broke my heart years ago. I stopped having sex because it was so fucking soul crushing to feel so hollow afterwards. I try to fill the emptiness with friends, but I can't seem to make any genuine connections, or meet anybody. Considering building a pc and giving up on all that - game away the rest of my life.
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>>7683787
Its a practice, anon. You won't get it straight away, but its a thing that needs to be practiced every time you remember. It starts with being mindful of those thoughts; when you compare yourself to someone else, what do you notice? What do you feel? What does that feeling look like if you were to give it a shape? Where is it located? When the comparing thought comes, notice it, acknowledge it, be aware of it, then draw your attention to something else that you value, or the immediate world around you.
Practice mindfulness. Practice bringing your attention to the physical sensations. Do things that keep you present. Forgive yourself and allow yourself time to figure it out. It takes us all a long time.
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Regretting picking the wrong major and the wrong classes, not doing enough research and involvement in undergrad, and generally just feeling like I fucked up a bunch of things that feel obvious in hindsight.
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>>7683640
Getting enough money is tough as I work zero hours, so I barely earn enough to afford my rent. I also fancy someone despite being in a serious two year relationship and I feel ever so guilty.
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The position and salary rate vanished instantly by the poor judgement that I made. Office politics is very dangerous thing to get involve. The person who gives sympathy is just playing good to make the other look bad. In the end it was my fault. I was the one who barks blindly. For the sake of the company, I reveal something to protect them. But I became the bad guy. A team leader who tolerates the wrong deeds.
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>>7683735
Hey anon. Thanks for that. I screencapped your post, I'll be referring to it in the future when things get tough.
You're absolutely right that the only person I should be trying to impress is the me of tomorrow. I need to work on my self-esteem.
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>>7683897
Attraction never goes away no matter how long you've been in a relationship. I'm going on 8 years now and I end up crushing on other people from time to time. As humans we're hardwired to consider new mates. Try to accept the feelings you're having - the major difference is whether you act on it or not.
There are two types of feelings, your first reaction and your second thought. If attraction is your first reaction, then your second thought could be "that would be nice but it's not worth giving up what I have in my relationship".
Mindfulness and thought control ARE within your grasp. You control the ship my friend, don't feel guilty about a first reaction. It's what you do with it that counts.
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>>7683921
Thanks Anon, that put things into perspective and I really appreciate it. I like her a lot, but I wouldn't want to waste my relationship over a crush.
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>>7683733
thank you for your words of encouragement, you have made my day so far. for the time being however, I have started on a jigsaw puzzle, so that should keep me occupied for a little while. Also my wrist injury has me out of action for heavy resistance training, but I'll see what I can do with bodyweight training and cardio. thanks again
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>>7683742
Thanks for the motivation. It was the reality check I need.
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>>7683640
I'm strangled by my anxiety. I am stronger than this, but weeks of inaction have been adding up.
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>>7684191
I know I need to get off my ass and get working again but the prospect of more uncaring management, co-workers who barely speak english and don't relate, hard physical labour and shit wages really weigh me down.

>>7683666
That's a good point that many of us ignore. Most people get bombarded with so much informational white noise that it's no surprise humanity cannot connect.

>>7683787
Dr K, from 'Healthy Gamers' on youtube/twitch has a good take on anxiety and regret. Anxiety is worry about the future and regret is worry about the past.

I've wasted quite a few years. 25 years old, no great prospects and little familial help. I'm learning how to open my heart to let love happen. Meditation helps.
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>>7683861
Hey anon. My heart aches when I hear things like this because I know the pain that lingers after a broken heart. It feels like a part of you has been ripped away. But what would you do if you suffered a terrible injury to your leg? You'd probably rest, spend time nursing the wound, do things you like and stay productive too. Heartbreaks produce the same neuronal responses as physical pain - so treat it like one. Get that PC if it helps you escape. Don't lose hope on finding a connection - stay open, but focus on making yourself happy with novel experiences. You have a long life ahead of you that will someday be filled with friends and loved ones.
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Rolling for good vibes
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>>7683861
This. All of this. I resolutely concur. Every day I think about someone, I look for that someone, sometimes I even imagine them walking beside me. Isn’t that crazy? A break-up so total, so overwhelmingly in their favour, you have to pretend like they’re dead so you don’t poisonously loathe yourself into burying every conversation in bleak rhetoric

>>7683901
But when you’re leading a room full of people who convince themselves that they’re leaders, who follows?

You’re not the bad guy, you got luck’s deft mood swing.

>>7683897
Then go after them or let them squirrel away with you to some dust-bitten corner with poor lighting and too much visual stimuli in the way - or don’t.

Every single day I think about the easiest, most painless and instant way to end myself. No more consciousness, no more drug-&-religion warring, no more weeks and weeks of wading through thousands of depressive reminders that my life is just sad and I should die.. What if this person you found yourself liking thought the thoughts you just read? I’m sad to say that it is humanity’s curse that a soul never appreciates what little good comprises their life. Before long, that good disappears and all that’s left is the slow, hellish descent into thorough break down.

Keep your significant other, anon. Or, better yet, as dodgy as the chat might be, suggest to that person you care about that you’re infrequently considering other people in an intimate capacity.

My life would be drastically more pleasant and I healthier if I had just opened my mouth and jawed a few honest words earlier on in my life, for cryin’ out loud..
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Give up all hope for a better past.

Kicking yourself will not change what has happened, it will only leave you sore from being kicked so much. What's harder yet is that you may already have engrained habits of beating yourself up, those habits too are a thing you must forgive of yourself. It will take time to change. That is alright. Perfect isn't possible, progress is. So take that first step towards forgiving yourself. Then another. You'll eventually stray from that path, but that too is alright so long as you recover and take another step in the right direction. That is what progress looks like.

But this is not only something for yourself, rather of others too. Holding onto the hurt others caused you does nothing to change what happened, it only gives them the power over you to continue the hurt. Forgive, not for them, rather for you. You deserve peace.

Even of the world, no one has to be at fault. Still, holding onto the hope that things could have gone differently than they did will not change a thing. Your expectations can not come to be and each time you are confronted with that reality it will hurt you again. So make peace with what is and peace you will have.

The people who hurt you aren't thinking about you right now. The world isn't stopping cause you wanna dwell on things that can't change. So, are you gonna get up and move with the world or let life pass you by?
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>>7683861
How old are you?
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1/3

I knew this thread would be waiting for me here. Ok so here I go, I just need to let this out, am too lazy to write in my diary, not particularly looking for an advice or response but it would be very nice if I got one.

I just recently got into a relationship. Met this girl like 4 months ago at a birthday, we were really hitting it off pretty nice, like staying in the lake alone drinking a beer and talking about stuff and relating a lot. Fast forward three months I (19) finally get the balls to get her number and talk to her (21). We do and it goes great, a week later I ask her out and we go out, and it goes really well, a couple of days later she makes the first move and we start making out for hours and hours one night. Meet again a couple of other times and make out a lot and very passionately, a lot of dry humping too. She's finally home alone and we have sex this Friday, me for the first time and her for the 3rd time. And I'm a total idiot for this, but it disturbs me so fucking much, I can't get it out of my head and I'll elaborate a below.

I end up staying at her place till Sunday evening, we've had sex like 6-7 times and a lot of really hot stuff involved (arms nailed to the bed choking, dirty talking and all that shit), and she's talking all the time about how good the sex is and how much she likes me and other stuff like that, and I actually like the girl a lot and she likes me a lottt too, and we decide on Sunday that we want to be in a relationship. Last night after a very sexual conversation during which we both masturbate to each other via text and explicit pictures, we both come, and end up just talking afterwards. Randomly, a tinder date I had a couple of months ago (I only had a kiss and it was my first one) gets mentioned by her, and I was like why do you even have to mention it lol, and she's like you're right I'm just insecure. And I say: imagine how insecure I feel, regarding your past.
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>>7684395
2/3

She says the following: "There's literally nothing to think about" "You're the first guy I feel something real with" "I was with them cuz i was self destructive" "And i only slept with 2 guys before u" "And it was nothing serious" "I'm embarrassed about them desu " But this was just like a dagger to my heart, like reading the message "and I only slept with 2 guys before u", idk it makes me feel extremely weak and pathetic and like a loser and I took it really hard. It makes me feel like she doesn't value me that much given how much she doesn't seem to value those two other guys and the sentences like "I never had anything real unlike like with you" just doesn't seem to cut it for me, even though I believe her.

Makes her feel a lot less special to me, it's almost like she feels a bit easy. Like letting two other guys inside you just like that, and as she describes it "it didn't matter at all to me" just makes me feel 1. like I'm useless and not special, and 2. like she's not very special. This is all probably a terrible thing to say and I hate myself for it, it really sucks to have these crazy retarded expectations from women, and especially because I would've probably done the same as her if I had had the chance. Like there is literally no reason not to just casually fuck with someone. But you see this is probably the problem. It's not about me feeling less special or her feeling less special to me, it's more about me feeling weak for not having been able to fuck other people before her, me not having been able to get that action before.
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>>7684396
3/3

I'm pretty sure that if I also had been inside two girls before, I wouldn't care about this, but I just feel pathetic in front of her. And ironically enough, she's the one who feels lesser in front of me because she, from what I've seen, values me a lot and says stuff like "I dread the day that you'll realize how good you are and just dump me for someone better" or "how could you be so cute and so hot at the same time and how could you like me" (she also seems a bit insecure about her weight, she's a tiny bit chubby but I like it) or other stuff where she puts me above herself and I'll stop jerking myself off now but it's weird because I've always felt ugly and pathetic and unlovable and now it's all just so overwhelming.

But all the approval I get from her still doesn't make me feel less insecure and weak for not being able to get any action before her or create a relationship before her and stuff like that. I know I'm a terrible human being for thinking like this and whoever is reading this, you have the total right to judge me for being an incel and viewing women like that as just objects and all the bad stuff. I recognize that these feelings and thoughts are really stupid and it's really retarded of me to expect that a girl has not had sexual relations with other people before, and it's probably too good for my piteous ass that she even cares about trying to make me feel better about it, like she doesn't even have to justify herself and she has every right to not feel bad about having had fun in her past (even though she says she did not enjoy it and it sucked). She does not owe me shit and she could've been with like 5 guys before and in theory it shouldn't matter to me and I have 0 right to be resentful towards her. But I just can't let go of the feeling of inadequacy I have.
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>>7684397
4/3

This felt nice to write, I feel much better now but I would also like an outside perspective since there is no one irl I could talk to about this, it's really embarrassing to think this way. I was gonna talk to her about this tomorrow when I meet her but I'm too scared because it would be a really shitty move on my side and I'll just come out 1. seeming pathetic, and 2. making her feel like a slut and thus her resenting me and me ruining this relationship.
I really don't want to ruin this, I've never felt intimate with someone else like this and it really sucks that I can't even have this in peace, of course it would be too good that I could've just enjoyed this without any consequences. It seems like I have a lot of issues with myself. This all has nothing to do with her, every bit of this issue stems from my insecurities. I knew I had huge trust issues before but damn. I mean this isn't even a trust issue because I trust her a lot and would never doubt of her cheating or anything, she genuinely seems like such a nice human being and would never do anything to hurt me, it's just jealousy, pure self-loathing and selfishness of me. God I hate myself.
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>>7684399
Chill bro, you're 19, just enjoy the ride, you won't marry this chick anyway so what's the issue. And I say that because I recommend that you don't marry her, fuck around, have fun
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But I do know one thing though, women they come they go, Saturday through Sunday Monday. Monday through Sunday, yo.
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>>7684399
Hey anon. I think what's happened here is a case of the feels. It's perfectly natural for you to feel threatened by her sexual past, especially if she downplays it so. Sexual fidelity is highly important to men, and downplaying past relationships for a guy she "feels something with" primes that feeling because it means she doesn't hold sex in the same regard you do. My first was very much the same, almost down to the exact things she said. Ultimately, whether it's because she's just the first girl, or because she was "self destructive", or because she clearly doesn't value herself as much as her sexual value to you, it'll end like it did for me too.
Take it from a guy who's been there. Don't overthink this, anon. Have your fun and be ready for when you put your shoes on at her place for the last time. That walk away is a walk to your future.
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>>7683885
Hey anon. Why do we fall down?
Undergrads are a dime a dozen these days, so I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it. I too, wish I did more research in my undergrad, but it doesn't need to be the thing to hold you or I back. You just know now how to not do things. Now you know how to conduct yourself and what path you need to follow. Mistakes like this are not life defining because they don't need to be. You still have a whole life to be productive and rectify any misjudgments you made. It's a long haul, and it's hard, but it's the path that will make you strong and proud.
Why do we fall down, anon? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.
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>>7684427
>downplaying past relationships
Neither of them was a relationship, as far as I've understood it was only casual sex and she looks back at it in a negative way (she's even made fun/talked in a negative way about the guys performance). I'm pretty sure it was simply done in order to make me feel better and not that she's just terrible like that, making fun of people who she's had sex with. Either way maybe you weren't meaning relationship as an "intimate relationship" and what you said still might hold.

>because it means she doesn't hold sex in the same regard you do
I would like to believe that but I feel hypocritical about it because most likely I also wouldn't view it in that regard either if that was case with me. I also would have probably slept with a couple of people before if I had had the chance and wouldn't have regarded it too highly by now. And I'm most likely feeling like this because I'm jealous that she got to do that and I didn't, however stupid and selfish that sounds but sadly it's how I feel.

>it'll end like it did for me too
How exactly did it end for you? As in what was it ultimately that ruined your relationship?

>Don't overthink this, anon
>be ready for when you put your shoes on at her place for the last time
I'll try to. Maybe this is not a good step but I'm just thinking to myself it's better if I don't get too attached and when I put it into perspective, how I'm not gonna end up marrying this person and spend my life with, and how this will come to an end sooner or later, I might as well just go ahead and have my fun and gain experience of how to be in a relationship, and funny enough come out of it without this problem that I seem to have (not having past sexual experiences/relationships I mean). But still it feels a bit wrong....I mean trying to make myself not care about her as much, doesn't sound like a good strategy but maybe it's essential in it's right dosage.
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>>7684471
Hey anon. Thanks for your response.
>maybe you weren't meaning relationship as an "intimate relationship"
I wasn't.
The rest of your post seems to still be dwelling on not being as experienced as your girl. And that's my point. Regardless of if you lost your virginity to her or to someone a dozen girls before her, you're attitude on sex right now is different than hers. It's not hypocritical because you don't know what her last two relationships were like. Maybe they were just one night stands, maybe they were short flings. Maybe what's happening with you is routine for her. I won't presume and I don't want you to do so either. Purge the thought.
Just keep your eyes dry and your chin up when you say goodbye. Walking away with intent is the strongest thing to do.
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>>7684427
I ran out of characters
wanted to thank you anon, it's really nice hearing another perspective, and getting some validation for my feelings and it's nice to know someone can relate
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>>7684477
Oh you posted again I didn't see that
Thanks again for the words, really really helpful
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How do I make friends anons? Loneliness has followed me my whole life. I wasted my school years sulking over a bad childhood and not making any significant memories and now i'm a broken man with nothing to say for myself. I haven't lived a life. Now that the workplace is the only interaction I really get, how do I make friends with those around me? How do I talk to people? Small talk? How do I reveal the parts of me I want others to see? I've never done this in my entire life really and I desire it so, so much. My parents aren't really around anymore, I've got no childhood friends to call back to, i'm God's lonely man. Any advice will help me to no end.
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My life, professionally and socially, is currently in shambles. Mostly due to COVID, but I made a lot of mistakes that I still kick myself for. The worst is I was genuinely trying and going off of what I thought was what I was supposed to do. I cant even say I was lazy and didnt do anything, Im just an idiot and its still my fault. I spent so much time trying to make other people happy and listen to them I didnt trust myself. I feel like im destined to never get my shit together and im told all the time to "just settle and be happy" Im currently trying to get into a job I know ill hate but it pays better than the job I have now which I dont exactly hate but I dont like and cant advance in. Id be using that new job to hopefully kick start my career but everyone tells me not to go for it. Im scared and confused
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>>7685102
do you have any hobbies? Is there anyway you can socialize with those hobbies and meet like minded people?
Also, give yourself a break. Nobody is socializing and making friends right now. At least not in person. Maybe try to meet people online?
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Father killed himself two weeks.
Spent the last three weeks cleaning up the figurative mess he left behind.
He did a lot of web development and web design, lots of his friends had websites through him, half of which shut down last week so I've had to go through every document I can find trying to find anything I can to figure out to help them.
My daughter is upset her grandpa is dead.

been a rough month, sucks cause I keep thinking "oh I should call dad and tell him about this" or "I should call dad and ask him this" and halfway through the thought I realize I can't.
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>>7685221
that came out all fucked up.
he killed himself three weeks ago, spent two weeks unfucking things.
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my life is on standstill due to circumstances out of my control and it feels like I'm wasting valuable time that could be spent living how I actually want to
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>>7685102
I feel you man. You have to start up a random conversation with someone and when you think you'll want to hang out sometime you just gotta ask. Worst outcome is a no. It's hard but you're the only thing holding you back.
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i puked two times tonight
neither one was an easy puke. lots of dry heaving and straining.
i'm ready to die
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just understood that even if we are still together the "us" is done and over for my gf, feel like dying, life is shit and stuff. but nice picture stay nice so I'm here
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>>7685221
>>7685223
Hey anon. I'm really sorry for your loss - I'm without my dad, too. That pain like your heart got torn out through your back is some of the worst a man can feel in his life. This time is seriously going to test your mettle and push you to some far limits. Talk to your daughter. Be strong for her. But most importantly, be strong and good to yourself, however that may be. Show your dad that you still love him by having the strength to carry on and be someone he can be proud of. Someone your girl can be proud of. One day anon, the pain will subside, and your family will repay you your fortitude.
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>>7685366
Why's that, anon? What's on your mind?
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>>7685345
dont waste time on things that are out of your control
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sAMEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAg
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>>7684200
Thanks anon, I appreciate the response. You're right, you know, I never treated that broken heart like any other part of my body. I just ignored it until it went away, which it never really did. So yeah... I'll take your advice and try and keep going and keep myself open. I'll get that PC as well lol.

>>7684368
26
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I don't want everything to shut down again. I want to be out enjoying the city.
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Pyrrhonic skepticism
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>>7683640
i'm doing pretty good. i'm in an odd relationship right now, with a girl who i'm not really compatible with but i know she likes me and would be extremely lonely right now due to the lockdowns etc.
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>>7683640
I really hate this time of year. 4 years since my mother died as of this week. Really traumatizing feeling somebody's life fade away in your hands.
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>>7683859
I'm crying now goddammit
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>>7683640
well, recently my grades have been good, my parents are proud of me, and I feel as if I should be happy.
But I'm not. I've never really had deep friend connections as a dude, but also I just feel lonely.
I can't go out, I can't meet anybody, and I can't do anything about it.
Thanks for the papes though guys. :)

> Merry Christmas.
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>>7683920
Different Anon, Amen brother.
From one random idiot to another, you got this.
An easy way to feel good is to make your bed every morning.
One simple easy task, can make a world of a difference.
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>>7684095
Try running perhaps? Or biking, not too difficult eh

You got this man.
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>>7684188
As a guy with some mild ADHD, trust me, the only way out of a rut, even depression, is to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
Take it one thing at a time, but don't stall.

You got this man :)
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>>7684226
Solid advice, don't off yourself though :(
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>>7684397
Go with your gut on this one I suppose, but I mean, if dudes can fuck around why not girls? and that's not to say she had to narrow her scope and experimented.
Make your own worth man. Love what you do.
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>>7684425
Not in quarantine they don't... damn.

>>7685112
Do it. Don't limit yourself to the dead end.
You got this man.
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>>7685221
You're a good man to finish his work.
Be the best father you can for your daughter.
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If hijabs are supposed to cover up your hair for modestly then why does Sinead O'Connor wear one?
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>>7683640
being a beta fag
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I'm almost done with my first semester in computer engineering, and for some reason I find myself always disliking most of my fellow students. Idk why I just feel like they're often cringy and "basic". But am i any better? Who am i to judge them, but I still end up doing it. And I've often had this weird thing where I always "befriend" people with more power than me in my life, like teachers, bosses, etc. This got kinda highlighted when i was in the army. It's not neccecerly a bad thing, I'm just tired of it. The relationship gets kinda whack and annoying. I don't know why I always end up like that. So i decided that when i started this semester I would not befriend any teachers or anyone like that. But now I just find myself disliking or straight out hating most of them. Why tf am i like this. I'm just tired of everyone and I feel like i wanna just tell everyone to go fuck themselfs
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>>7683666
what does this mean?
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>>7683666

It means you don't need to rush everything. It's okey to just take a year off to find yourself or do something wild and random. You don't need to rush into an education, you're gonna work for the rest of your life so you don't need to be in such a rush. Slow down and do what makes you happy.
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I'm so madly in love with a girl I severely let down a few years ago. She contacted me again at the start of this year and things seem to be alright, I do think she wants us to happen, but I can feel that she keeps me at arm's length and I feel like she'll never be able to truly forgive me (I left her for someone else who ended up being incredibly bad for me) even though she says it's all good.

She's so amazing, ambitious, strong, beautiful, and she's been through so much shit beyond what I did to her, I just want above anything else for her to be happy. And nothing scares me more than the thought of not being able to help her get there.
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FAAAA A A A A AAA A A A A AAAGS
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>>7683655
lovely album
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>>7683640
Used to have a crush on a girl i worked with. I think we had a pretty good chimestry. She moved into a diffrent workplace before i had the balls to man up and try make something out of our friendship, so i kinda moved on. Thing is we talked on and off for like a week after the changed her workplace and we never talked since, somthing like a couple of months.
Last saturday i got a message from her "Anon! How are you? i've really missed you!'.
I called her on videocall and we talked for like an hour while we both were in bed. It ended with her saying that i should could more and she really hopes that i might move to the same workplace. Then i tried calling her again and she didnt pick up, so i went to sleep. she wrote me "hey! whats up?" an hour after i was sleeping, so i guess she does kinda care. The day after i called her again, She said she will call me later nad a couple days she didnt call me yet. Do i call her again? I feel i am having the mind set of a fucking teen, but i have a thing for her so fucking bad.
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>>7684312
>Holding onto the hurt others caused you does nothing to change what happened, it only gives them the power over you to continue the hurt. Forgive, not for them, rather for you. You deserve peace.
no fuck you, I will use the anger to propel myself forward
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female anuses
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>>7686974
Hey anon. Finding your peers cringy, especially in first year, is quite normal. Over time, you come to care less and less, and you meet more and more good people. Take it from a guy who enrolled with some bitterness towards my peers and graduated only caring about the friends I made there. Besides, judgement is perfectly natural as long as it's not chronically positive or negative. As for your relationships with powerful people, I won't speculate because I don't know the details. But my tacit advice would be to not shutter those relationships. If nothing else, those kinds of connections are crucial in uni/college.
Keep your attention on the profs lectures and your studying and schoolwork and you'll overcome this anger.
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>>7687008
Hey anon. Can you elaborate a little bit more about why you left her for the other girl? In addition, what gives you the feeling of her wanting you yet keeping you at arms length? I ask because
>I just want above anything else for her to be happy
This seems indicative of real love for her, and I want you to have that kind of love, anon. Love is when you want the best for someone else and you want to be the best you you can be for them.
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>>7687064
Hey anon. It sounds like she really did or does want a connection, but I don't know if she has romantic intentions. If you were just friends before she moved workplaces, she probably feels the same for you now that she did for you then. Girls often say cute things and do long talking sessions that for them have zero romance, but for guys, do - it's just the way things go. I'd say call her again. After all, would you call your friend if he didn't follow through on a promise? It's only awkward if you make it so. Have the confidence to reach out at try for what you want. Worst case scenario, nothing comes of it. I feel ya, anon.
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My only friend hasn't spoken to me in longer than usual. I still see him online, so I'm hoping things are alright on his end, but it's been taking its toll on me mentally. A middleschool paranoia of mine came back almost a decade later, a thought of "I could die anyday and I have no way of preparing for it" that refuses to stop. What makes it more stressful is that I'm an artist with a number of OCs, most of which are extremely personal and precious to me - I'm scared of thinking what will happen to my art when I die. I don't want it to fall into unwanted hands. I tried talking to some other people about it, but they're just completely dismissive about it. I've already had bad things happen to my characters when others touched them and seeing people talk about how much they wanna violate random unrelated characters online makes me scared of people discovering my art and doing the same to my characters. I feel like I've never seen a person who'd be attached to their characters as much as me, and that makes things worse, because I can't find people with relatable experiences. I haven't felt a bond with anybody besides family members since I was little, that one friend is pretty much the only exception (what makes this especially emotional for me is how I'm 100% sure it's not a gay thing, but an actual manly friendship that I haven't had for ages). We even joked around once how we could finally see each other in person soon, but the corona shit pretty much sank that idea, too. What worries me on top of that is how I'm usually hated for being way too optimstic about things, yet this month I can't convince myself it's all gonna go well. I wish I could live forever just so I wouldn't have to be scared about this. Even my thoughts are messier than usual thanks to all this.
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>>7687192
Thanks for the prespective Anon.
I think i will call her on the weekend, see where it goes.
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>>7687179
Thanks man, appreciate it, I'll do my best
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>>7686270
basado
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My girlfriend joined a sorority after I expressed my disdain towards them. She’s been crying because of my disappointment. I really love and her loathe the organizational pledge; we are at a cross roads.
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Fucking god damn covid. These new lock downs could have been entirely avoided if the Canadian federal government was such a bunch of ninnies. They could have made masks mandatory, gatherings are illegal, everything that isn't absolutely essential like hospitals, banks, and grocery stores are closed for a month period. Anyone who breaks any of these rules are thrown in jail for a month and a $10k fine and block anyone from entering the country without being thrown into holding facility for 2 weeks and we could have eradicated most of it here to the point that lockdowns would only occur in any hotspots that crop up and is easily monitored. But now we're facing yet another set of half assed lockdowns and the earliest someone like me could see a vaccine would be at least a year if not two from now.

Its completely screwed the university I'm attending because the online transition was absolutely horrendous and now I can't take advantage of meetings with the professors and other students which were a huge help. The job market here is completely fucked and I can't find any work when normally it was super easy to pick up a job. Now I can't even get one at a McDonalds which screws up my usual work my ass off in-between semesters to pay for the next ones and I refuse to take out a loan because I don't want to be in debt for something like university and I don't want to go on EI because there's people that need that money more than I do and Canada only pretends to be rich. At least I've got savings but I'm getting sick of applying for jobs and not getting any work, it just makes me miserable and feel like a parasite. Plus not being able to go the gym doesn't help either. Also, god damnit I just want to actually find a girlfriend since life was going pretty good but now its all gone to shit so I can forget about that happening. Going to wind up being a 30 year old virgin at this rate. At least I've got my betta to keep me company. He's pretty smart for a fish if somewhat lazy.
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>>7683640
gonna try Gardening honestly, thinking 'bout starting w/ Bamboo and Grapes
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>>7687511
Its great, it forces you to spend time outside. I got into gardening some years ago, highly recommend. And it can be as cheap as you want
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I dont think i'll be able to get a decent job after i graduate. I hate my father, and although he owns a business, i dont wanna work with him. I think i'll just leave my parents' and rent my own place once i start earning, but i dont think i'll be able to earn enough. I still have 1.5 years of my bachelors left, but i've always been an average guy and i have no skills.

I thought of going for a civil services job but its too hard. Although i have many years to prepare for it, but im really really really scared about my career and life. I honestly just wanna kms as soon as i get my own house, cuz i dont wanna get saved in the middle of my act.
I look at my friends and they're already on the track to good jobs and taking initiatives, but i'm too much of a pussy, coward and introverted to do that.
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>I don’t get much joy from my life. I feel like every day is just a walk along a tightrope: there’s no point to it. The tightrope being my mostly-functional mental state, it’s the only thing between me and the abyss. Everyday, for some mysterious reason, I have to balance along this thin line, keeping face, avoiding the possibility of despair, avoiding thinking about it—that seems to be it: I act only to keep myself from being fully engulfed by despair; the momentary, brief distractions are all that prevent it.
>The second I turn to face my despair, it overwhelms me. I can force myself to the surface again, but only enough to breathe. I can’t see any land in sight around me, so why bother continuing to return to the surface? Why bother continuing to kick my feet when there’s no hope in sight?
>I can’t sustain the good things—I don’t even know if I can call them “good,” they’re mostly just neutral things, tasks or activities; none of it makes me feel better, and when it does it means nothing. Why am I bothering to build and sustain a life? I don’t want it. I don’t want a life here and now. I have to be wrong in this—I know I am. But I don’t believe it. There’s nothing around me. It’s just silent and I am alone.

My journal entry today.
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im having penis problems.
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I'm from mainland europe and staying now in Tenerife. All classes are online so might as well go to the sun. I work quite a bit and am lucky with my studentjob wage. I am living with my older brother and some friends of him, all literal rocket scientists (working for ESA)... Brother fixed a hot spanish girl and had sex at our homeparty. It's the classic one sibling 'is doing better' type deal. Even though I'm "living the life" it does bother me. Also went out today and took some pictures so here's some OC.
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>>7687707
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>>7687708
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>>7687707

I absolutely love phots like that.I've been in Spain only once, about three years ago.I fell in love with a girl during that trip. She used me like a toy for around three months and I'm still bitter about it.

I kinda have similar situation like you - stuck at home with online lectures. unfortunately I'm stuck at my parents house because it's my freshman year at college. A lot of my friends left the city to live near their universties despite online lectures. Also I've broken up with my girlfriend recently. I have a poor relationship with my parents. I just wanna leave so bad.

Do you have more pictures like that? If so, please post them.

(sorry for gramatical errors if there are any)
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>>7683640
I've been working so hard every day for my business so that I can be free to do whatever I want, but once I finally taste success, will it even be that great? It it worth all the sacrifices that I've been making and all the friends that I've lost? Is it worth me turning into a psychopath?
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Pic is not OC, I'm on my laptop now so my collection isn't that big. But most of it is in line with "comfy general" type stuff. I always think that everyone can do the things I do if you're somewhat financial independant. Parents might not like it but I'm going to assume that they're not going to kick you out / abandon you for leaving without permission. As for the gf , sucks man. I lost mine as well because of covid lockdown rules. Not the best time to start dating again. Where abouts are you from and what are you studying?
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>>7687722
I think we all chase "the next thing" at all times. If you reach your goal it's going to be sweet, but you're not reaching the milestone that person x had reached. I'd assume having enough money to do what you want probably puts you in a different league where you'd just hang out with other people in that field. But hey I'm just Anon so what do I know
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>>7687717 check out >>7687723

also, >>7687709
who are the people sitting there, anon? Is that your brother?
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>>7687676
>
Elaborate?
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>>7687446
Anon, always know that despite how bad things get or how good times be, they all come to pass.

How ever desperate you may feel it is only momentary, but as a Man you can find the will to continue and find strength in these times of manufactured crisis.

Tell yourself, in both times of hardship and joy,
This too will pass...
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>>7687574
Hey anon. It really breaks my heart to hear what you're going through, because I know that pain and that worry you feel. You're still young and in school, which means you still have plenty of time to find your footing and improve in school. Talk to your profs about working on projects with them or see if you can join a lab. Men have to think long term with their goals; it's not about succeeding right now, it's about making sure you get there. A weak foundation doesn't build a strong home.
And speaking of goals and houses; don't kill yourself, anon. I promise you, it's not worth it. If you can set in your mind that dark and long term fantasy of getting a house and killing yourself, then you can certainly set a bright and long term fantasy of living in that house. Make every step you take be in service of getting that house, and then another goal after that. You can do it, anon. You're the only you who matters to you.
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>>7684199
thanks for the awesome pape
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>>7687810
No, just some random people on the promenade. I'm fine though, that day was just a bit strong on the feels.
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>>7687436
makes me think if halo is inspired by some old fantasy paintings!=!?!="!==???
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>>7688362
wow, thanks anon. I really needed that. I think I'll decide what to do with my life when I reach my late 20s. But yeah I'll take your advice and work on myself for myself and try to be independent and strong.

>>7688980
oh okay, good to hear that.
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I don't know how to describe what's on my mind, or how I feel. I wasted years of highschool ignoring a social life, did the same for four more years of college, and now that I have my degree it's been 8 months and i can't even find a part time job. I just have no motivation to do anything at all, and it makes me feel that I've done nothing but waste my own and others time. Most nights end in me wishing to fade from the people i know so i can finally fucking end it. fuck i dont know how to explain what the fuck is wrong with me.
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>>7689194
>b independent
this is a gay modern meme that is going to soon die the hard way; via brutal conflict and starvation.
We arent designed to be independent, we belong and thrive in families. Young men should be close to family and also be in some manner of fraternity. This is why veterans "miss it", they are missing the brotherhood and camaraderie. Being "independent" is a modern life meme to make you an obedient, powerless worker drone.
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I'm currently struggling with myself. I'm a freelance english teacher becsuse I can't find a job and nobody will hire me. I am also not certified in any way so I'm just trying my best not to disappoint the few students I have. I feel like a hack and a loser. They seem happy with my classes. I am trying really hard but I feel I could do so much better.

Also thanks to corona I won't be able to spend Christmas with family. it'll be my first christmas completely alone as they're around 60.000 Km away from where I currently live. I like being alone, I like my company but lately my brain is betraying me and making me feel bad about myself. I spent two years studying and struggling to get some stability in my life and I'm kind of getting it, but I can't be happy about that for some reason. I struggle to feel proud of anything I do, so I end up just doing nothing.

I feel that in a moment it'll all be over, My small successes and stability will be ripped off my hands and I will be back into being miserable and trying to find a way to maintain myself. I don't know guys, I'm hiding it so that people important to me don't see I'm in a bad place. Everytime i try to open up, close people to me are kind of harsh and I just don't want yo disappoint. But it's dawned on me how dark of a place I'm in now mentally and it's kind of destroying my will to get out of bed.
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I often delete posts I write in these threads, but I want to commit to posting this at least, against my better judgment.
I'm miserable and suicide would be a mercy but I doubt I'll ever do it. Rotting in limbo until I die old and just as worthless as I am now is far worse than just gassing myself; modern life is a worse outcome.
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>>7689276
drone here. This is true. I spent a good portion on my career and have nothing to show for it. There were recently lay offs at my job and they let my boss go who worked there for 12 years. That kind of woke me up to how replaceable I am no matter how hard I push myself to be good at work, they can always get rid of me with zero warning.

I'm currently trying to figure out what I'm going to do next and I'm really thinking of finally settling down so I have that emotional support if things go tits up.
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hey OP

I've been feeling trapped as of lately. I'm working a job that I don't enjoy with a insufferable boss, and with the whole pandemic right now i feel even more trapped cause anytime i try to brake free and better myself, it all gets shut down due to the pandemic. I know the pandemic is temporary, but it feels like a never ending jail cell that anytime i feel like ive escaped a new set of bars drops and im back to square one. Hope this vaccine comes out soon, so i can move cities and get back to school like I was going to a year ago.
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My girlfriend of two years left me suddenly saying she's been going through extreme emotional changes and shutting herself off to me entirely.
Really blindsided me after being really close and loving the whole relationship.
I tried reaching out and even simmered down to wanting to just stay friends (she initially begged me to stay friends but later said she needed space) but then she had a huge meltdown and warned me to not speak to her for six months or she'd block me.
I'm doing alright now but it's just been a crazy heel turn over such a short period of time. I know for a fact there's not another guy or anything, just really shocking that it's all happened so quickly and harshly.
I treated her like she was the only thing that mattered to me and she treated me like I was disposable. But I just gotta pick myself back up, work on me and keep getting better.
It always gets better, no matter how bad it gets, bros.
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>>7683640
im 2 years single since this past week. sometimes i miss my ex - she's my first and last, for now - but then i remember all the shit she's said to me and done to me. i think in reality i just miss having a girl. someone to hold, and be held, or go on a hike with. i dont go much on hikes solo. there's no happiness if i'm hiking alone most of the time, i need someone there. and it aint the same with one of my buddies, you know - it just doesnt feel the same.
i've fucked up with women several times in my life. didn't take hints when it was time to take hints, that sort of thing. that or i did something i shouldnt have and scared her off. i think every day about how i scared off this girl, she's my coworker, and we're pretty close still. perfect for each other. i mean it. i knew it, she knew it. even her closest friends knew we would go well together. and i fucked everything up, scared her off with a letter i never should've written or given her. we could've had something and kept it goin, too, but i sunk that ship. its whatever.
i try to keep my head up most days. i dont like my job, but its just something to bring in money while i'm in college. as much of a slack-off as i am anyways
weird times anons weird times
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>>7683640
I just wanna edit people's photos for free on /b/ and they're all super hostile for some reason.
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>>7690322
the people on /wsr/ nicer
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>>7690326
are*
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last bits of empathy being ripped from my heart feelsbetrayedman
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>>7690321
I am sorry you are feeling lonely and like you have fucked up with past relationships. But let me tell you something the right person will work with you and accept you for who you are. You want to learn and be better and the right person will see that and value you. Don't give your energy to someone that cant appreciate you. Sending love anon
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I got back together with my recovering alcoholic ex. In the past few months, he has started to spiral (drinking, drugs, failing out of school, dangerous depression, etc). The only thing that seems to bring him happiness is playing video games with his friends. At least he has something in his life but I am not getting anything from the relationship. We are not intimate or talk very often. I want to break up but he says he needs me. I can't abandon him though I drowning in this. Help.
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>>7683640
1/3
Too much. Back in March, my ex girlfriend and I's relationship started a downward spiral and by May she left me. We were together since July of last year and we were both so happy with each other, and I think I was the happiest I ever was in my entire life. She'd always talk about me to all her friends, and she'd remind me how much she loved me every day. We'd hangout AT LEAST every weekend, if not more. Of course we had our ups and downs but we always got through it and our love never faded. Her ex (who treated her horribly, would ghost her, and did other just downright scummy things to her) was in her friend group so they never really stopped communicating, but around November (my guess) they started becoming friends again. I'll admit, I'm an insecure guy and I never liked it when she'd stay friends with exes and this was no exception, but she told me it was nothing to worry about so I trusted her. By March, life was great and I thought everything was okay, then suddenly she says she wants to take a break. Not even 3 days later she breaks up with me and I was devastated. The worst part about it was she just never communicated with me about why she felt that way, or what happened. She told me she wanted to fix it so bad but she just never spoke up and let me think everything was perfect while she was suffering.
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>>7690424
2/3
This was also when Quarantine started so I felt worse then I probably would have, too. The day after she said she horribly regretted it and she wanted to make it work with me and I was quick to agree and we stayed together. I found out her ex was trying to convince her to split up with me (the first time) because she was unhappy with a few things and he wanted to be with her again, and she started to catch feelings for the kid as well. I really didn't want her talking to him after that, and she surprisingly wanted to cut him off too so I was happy. May comes around and she's just unhappy with me, and she didn't want to even try to fix things, and we split up. I was so horribly upset, I couldn't get out of bed for weeks. Cried every night. I really loved this woman and honestly to this day I still do. A month goes by and I go to my friends party, and coincidentally she and her ex show up at the same time. I was pretty upset about it because it was pretty obvious they were "together" at that point so I went home early and just slept it off. Every day was the same, I just stayed in bed, hardly ate and cried. Life at home was also pretty bad so that also amplified the depression. Awful drunk of a father, I didn't have enough money to move out, and my mom left all around the time this was happening.
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>>7690401
you aren't his mother, he isn't your responsibility. We get it, you've spent time with him and you've grown to like him. But just because you've spent enough time on a mistake doesn't mean you keep wasting time on it despite knowing that it isn't going anywhere. Stop wasting your time and break up with him. He isn't your responsibility. His life was his responsibility and he fucked it up. You deserve a lot better, and a person who knows what's right, not some guy who gets high and likes to play games. Stop wasting your time. You and I both know this isn't going to bring you any happiness in the long run. Don't be afraid to make decisions. God I wrote too much, baka.
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>>7690425
3/3
In July my uncle needed a place to stay, so we offered and he moved in with us for a week or two, and his belongings included two handguns. On the night of what would've been me and my exes one month, I had a mental breakdown and nearly took my life. I remember having the gun up against my head, drunk, crying, just wanting to pull the trigger so bad. I still think about it to this day. Obviously I didn't do it since I'm writing this rn, so I just unloaded the gun and went to sleep. In September I was finally getting over her, and life was slightly improving. She and I started talking and we became friends again and it was just really nice. Then in October, she and I started getting closer and she would FaceTime me again, and I could tell she was becoming interested in me. She and her bf (unsurprisingly it was the ex) weren't doing great and I gave her unbiased advice but it didn't seem to work because she told me they broke up a few nights after. We hung out in person a few times in the proceeding weeks and one night after star gazing and before I was going to drop her off at home, she kissed me in my car. It then turned into a hook up and the next day we decided we'd try a relationship thing again but keep it on the dl.
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>>7690427
4/3
For the first few weeks it was really rough because she was scared and didn't know if she was ready for another relationship, but we agreed to take it slow and it's been pretty smooth sailing so far. One thing that bothered me a little bit is that she blamed her actions as "out of character" because of ego death she was experiencing at the time but seemed to not regret it. I think doing permanent emotional damage isn't something to excuse with ego death but I've never experienced it firsthand so I can't exactly say. I do have horrible trust issues and insecurities because of our past, and I need reassurance before I relax sometimes. I'm being very cautiously optimistic. Things really do seem like it's headed in the right direction though, I'm really happy again and so is she. I got a car and I got a better job with good pay. I guess the best thing to do is go with the flow, enjoy my time and don't get attached.
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feeling kinda stuck since covid and not sure if i should continue to try to go from something i want to actually work for.

I was going to college for marketing and computer science and i pick up photography. i was going to try to go for esport/event photography since i know a lot of the top players and the people in the different gaming scene. Since its was growing rapidly, i was like why not focus on this niche.

i dropped out this year to do a bunch of traveling so i can build a portfolio, and at the time hated being in class everyday because i could be focusing on my photography and getting practice in to get better. but covid happen and now i feel i should just go back to school or focus on something else because i think events wont be the same for the next few years. Doing portraits is cool and all i feel like its just not a viable because of smart phones.
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>>7690427
>"On the night of what would've been me and my exes one month"
I meant to say one year
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>>7690426
I needed that anon, more than you know. And as an added bonus, a new wallpaper to remind me to recognize my self-worth! I hope you are staying strong too where ever you are <3
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>>7690429
I was so happy that that ended on a positive note! It sounds like you have some intense mental stuff that you are working on besides the relationship. Partners are great but don't tie your happiness to her. Unfortunately, people come and go. Be happy for you. Send some time figuring out what that means.
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>>7690401
He is ALREADY dragging you down into his world. Get out!! As someone who is a recovering alcoholic I can tell you from experience NO ONE will change you. YOU have to WANT to change yourself and then the journey begins.
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>>7690443
I guess I just thought he was okay when we got back together? Addiction is a bitch. I know I cant change him though. This is something that he has to do on his own and us being in a relationship isn't serving either of us. It is just hard to watch someone you know in so much pain. I'm sorry you went through something similar :/
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>>7690307
take some time off and pursue your own interests for a while
you'll be just fine anon :)
godspeed
>>
There are so many little things in life which could distract and limit your freedom. At the same time, the less variety there is the less spectrum of freedom is. The only thing you could be certain that all things become balanced. One way or another.
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I ended a very long term relationship about two years ago and just started dating again a few months ago. I'm struck by how complex it is and how much luck goes into finding a decent person, and yet despite that it luck-based, how much of an impact it makes on how good life is.

Initially we are driven by attraction, but there also has to be emotional, intellectual, ideological, and sexual compatibility. Then, even if all of that is in sync, there has to be a synchronicity of future life plans. It's like you get past one level and on to the next, and performance on the next has nothing to do with the previous level.

I'm feeling lost.
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>>7683897
fuck bitches get money
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>>7690217
This is a great pape. I don't know your sitch, but the 'clean your room' meme is real. Doing small things to improve your daily experience can go a long way.
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>>7690392
i appreciate it son. blessings for ya.
i guess i've been struggling a lot with sin, too. frankly ive struggled with plenty of things but i push through. tack up and ride on. i aint seen some of my closest friends in months. i've been meaning to start going to the gym, become a fitizen and all that, but my buddy went to a gym once and got the rona, so i'll hold off for now. its not that im afraid of it. i just dont want to go out and get it and not know i've got it, and give it to family and coworkers and customers and the like. i dont care, but i dont want to give it to folks.
i like to think that God won't send you a good woman until you've proven you're a man. i also like to think bringing my body to strength is part of that. but i've got a long ways to go. im a skinny kid, real thin, cant keep weight well. but i'm committed, heck, if i'm gonna throw $30 at a gym each month you bet your ass i'll be using it.
>>7690427
glad you're still with us brother. i been down the same damn path, in october. sat right there in my car with my rifle barrel to my head. just sat and waited. safety off, chamber loaded, everything. couldve done it. but i got out that car and knew God would carry me back to the flock. just took my time getting better. most of the time the music i listen to shapes my mood. i made a playlist just for recovering. it set me on a good path and i was chipper in a few weeks, easy. funny enough i was ought to shoot myself over a girl. one i mentioned in my last post. dont never do that, over a girl. you're worth much more.

love you all fellers. you just gotta tack up and ride on. it aint supposed to be easy, but you'll be better for it.
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>>7688986
Ringworld you zoomer plebe
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>>7685345
You've got to figure out how to make the best of this time, move in other directions that are of benefit to you, even if the route you want to take is currently blocked, Anon.
It's like that American general said at the Battle of the Bulge "Retreat? Hell, I'm just advancing in a different direction."
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>>7689276
thank you anon, i get your point, but i dont want to be independent because of the societal 'theme' or trend. it's cuz i truly can't stand living with my father. and i think that's the only way i could ever spend some time peace. maybe i wont have as much money and wont live with him in his 6 bedroom house, but i'll be at peace away from him.

>>7690261
i hope you can settle down soon with your loving family anon, good luck
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>>7690435
i'm glad you liked the pape, i'm trying my best too with my own set of life puzzles; but i'm sure it'll be okay! :D stay strong anon &lt;3
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>>7690436
>>7690717
Thanks for the support from both of you, it was actually finally nice to hear positive words about my situation. I've never really told anyone all of it. Good luck to the both of you
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>>7690335
there is a cave in skyrim like this right?
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>>7686321
Made my new build complete, Thanks for sharing
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>>7687446
If it helps helps to know, the masks don't do anything. They are merely a fashion statement saying you are against the virus.

Government mandated N95 masks would've been effective
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depression is always worse than i remember it

>>7691237
>>/pol/
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>>7691239
read the message before asking them to leave, he's got a point. People wear thin, stupid cloth masks that don't stop the virus at all. And not all people wear N-95 masks.
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>>7683784
sounds like youre enjoying being high or something bro. I can explain the mechanics, but not the emotional reaction. A few years ago I would have tried to understand it but now I'm just thankful for it and try to experience as much music and emotions that go with it as possible. Music is a beautiful gift :)
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>>7683640
I'm really hungry, and I have been all morning, but I never got up and got breakfast. Now it's almost lunch, and I honestly don't know if I'll eat before dinner.
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>>7691359
No, scratch that. I probably will, soon. This would have been more true a long time ago, when I used this website more, but since moving in with my fiancee and getting a kitten together everything's been a lot better. Quarantine isn't so bad when you have your own little family. It gets better
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>>7683640
Taking a math test
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>>7683640
>>7691387

In all my life I always have a frustrating time studying. it doesn't matter which subject I always try to study something I feel like that i'm missing something even after finishing an assignment I forget the next day.

even when during a test I just burned out
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>>7683640
I think I'm too far gone to ever be fixed. Left school because of burnout/mental breakdown, have been living the neet life for three years now, distanced myself from my friends because I felt like they were better off without me, constantly feeling like it's over. Even detransitioned for a while because the self doubt was killing me, and just ended up with dysphoria and dissociation and not being able to look in the mirror without feeling a sick twisting feeling in my stomach, but I can't bring myself to restart transition because being a tranny makes you a fucking freak. I don't even know who I am anymore.
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>>7683640
Everything nowdays seems either childish or sexualized in a shit way, I'm tired of putting up with this shit. Nothing has any kind of magic and rarely you can find something that had though and effort put into it. Disconnecting from all this stupidity seems like such an delight, shame it takes too much effort.
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>>7683640
I took a year off to supposedly get things done and do things I've wanted to do, but I ended up just doing nothing on my computer at home instead. I don't have any money to do what I want, and jobs that I can do are hard to come by. I'm angry at myself for not doing anything, and for letting demons get to me.
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>>7691657
you've made a mistake, and you can't bring back the time that you've lost, but you can learn from this and be aware of your actions and not repeat the mistake again.

>>7691638
i agree
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>>7684395
>>7684396
>>7684397
blablablabla FLBBRTTTTT PRRRTTT
>>
>>7690401
you are a normie faggot but darjeeling limited is a great movie





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