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All are welcome here.

Previous: >>7929574
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Playing Halo 2 on Xbox Live in 2005 was the best time period in my entire life. Nothing has ever remotely compared.

Also, I hate transexuals and gay marriage.
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>>7929629

I was pushed to the point of needing to do a social detox from the friend group I've had for the last 2 years. For a long time I've been tolerating their idiotic opinions on things because I'd rather stomach it than face the possibility of being alone.

About 3 days in now and I can see that it was a stupid fear to hold, I feel free-er and less burdened by my perceived obligations to that group. My dreams and visions have been vivid on guiding me through it.
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>>7929633

I played a lot of halo 2 and 3 anon. I ended up meeting Venus Williams and staying at her house for a month over the summer.

Halo is special to me too. I think you shouldn't hate the troons and the gays tho desu... they don't mean no harm
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>>7929633
0 to 10 real fast
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In a 2 month period I lost my dream job and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. I am having trouble finding a new job and it really sucks.
I feel like the chance of me having a family is just gone because dating in 2022 is really hard.
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>>7929639
More power to you anon!
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>>7929629
I hate all my job options. Community manager, SEO advisor, marketing specialist, it's all bullshit. I studied Audiovisual Communications with the illusion of youth, thinking I'd be working in film after I graduated, but save a great photography job that lasted one year, it's been just marketing bullshit. All meaningless buzzwords and fake productivity meetings that last for hours.

If I had the time, I'd do a bakery course or something and set up a little business. Maybe next year.

Never choose your career while young, anons.
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>>7929661
If you're at rock bottom you can only go up. Both of those are incredible losses but I'm sure you'll get better, anon.
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>>7929629
OC
I really miss driving this car bros
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Doing a physics bsc, done 2 years out of 4. Currently facing the possiblity that my academic career will soon end due to poor performance. I can't say I'm a bad student, I got accepted after all and passed a few courses with good grades, but the rest.... You could say, since I started the degree in the peak of corona madness, that the pandemic ruined the degree for me... After corona was over, the damage just snowballed into my second year...

I hold responsibility for my failures, but I feel like if I'd started the degree later, I could excel. But seeing as I was 25 at the beginning, delaying the degree was not an option.

Im kinda just lost right now, waiting for my verdict. Hopefully I can continue, I love this degree and have learned a lot from my failures.
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>>7929639
>their idiotic opinions
Such as?
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Tomorrow is my last day at a job I hate.

I'm waiting on two potential new jobs to get back to me, one of which would be a huge bump in quality of life, and the other would just be fun.

I'm stressed not knowing what's going to happen. Will neither get back to me? Am I about to be without income and insurance?

I'm nervous. Not scared, but nervous. I just want to know one way or the other what's going to happen.

Pic related, I've been parting of too much of the devil's lettuce to calm my anxiety.
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theres been a lot on my mind, I think its because i took some modafinil this morning and its made me restless and anxious but ive wanted to get some stuff off my chest.

When I was 12 (about to turn 13) I molested a 6 year old girl, I was at her house and when she was in bed I went to her bed side and pulled out my dick and said "put it in your mouth" then I took her hand and stroked my dick with it a couple times and then I left after that because I knew it wasnt gonna happen. I wasnt going to forcefully rape her, I just hoped she would listen.
A couple days later my dad told me I was being taken to criminal court, I spent the next year and a half with that looming over my head and the anixety of going to court and what could happen and just the shame of my parents knowing what I did.
My parents spent a small fortune on a lawyer and I was saved and had community service and to go to a counselor for a year or so after.

Ive never told anyone that, not a soul. Its never spoken of in my hosue besides my mom making one mention of it when I was making some other poor choices a few years ago.
It hung over me for a while, every day id think of her name and that "I did that". It doesnt cross my mind as much anymore, it seems like another life.
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gf of 2 years and I broke up recently. Packing up and moving to pic related for a job now. About to plop down in a foreign country recently single and knowing absolutely nobody...

>>7929661
>I feel like the chance of me having a family is just gone because dating in 2022 is really hard
Feel you anon. I never felt anxious about this til I recently hung out with some old friends from high school last month. We're all just a year or two from 30 now and none of us are on track to getting married anytime soon. I'm gonna die with no family if I don't start hustling.
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I am very unhappy.
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>>7930322
The reason being?
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>>7929629
I dont think im gonna make it bros. My life isnt progressing the way it should and im so close to giving up. Not in a killing myself kind of way, but I have no motivation to do anything but leave work, but dumb shit with my money to get that serotonin, and go to sleep.
Its really hard to not let all the negativity of the world eat away at you. I genuinely think we're on the verge on some societal collapse and its only going to get worse. Homelessness, another great depression, disease, lockdowns, wolrd war 3, ect. I try not to focus on it all, but I feel like sticking my head in the sand is being willfully ignorant and I need to pay attention.

I have a job, my health and friends and family so I feel guilty for complaining. I really wanted a stable career, a relationship and the ability to travel. After all the work id done I thought it would be a period of smooth sailing, but Im in a rut I cant get out of
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>>7929629

I was sexually abused by neighbor when I was 6. He was around 15-16. This went on for a period of a couple of weeks.

I didnt realize it until I turned 18, and was at a seminar about sexual abuse. The seminar holder mentioned that a lot of younger victims dont realize they are being abused until much older. Weird thing is that it hasnt bothered me at all. I have never mentioned it to anyone but my fiance, and I feel very apathetic towards it. I am religious and saving myself for marriage, but to be honest I had homosexual sex when I was 6. Feels kinda weird to be honest.
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>>7929629
I'm feeling more and more lonely lately. I've always maintained that just being alone doesn't mean that I'm lonely but it's become a full on cope within the last year. I met one person who understood me, who clicked with me, and we ended up drifting apart and now she's gone and left a massive hole where there wasn't one prior to meeting her. Never should have let myself fall for it.
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>>7930429
don't worry about it, happened to me too
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almost broke down into tears at my jiu-jitsu class today in front of a cute girl. feeling quite embarrassed not going to lie chaps
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On one side, I'm doing well. I need to get back into a job, its been a while of not working and I'm running out of my reserves. But other than that, I've slowed down on drinking, I have a somewhat formed diet, and I've been going to the gym for the last 4 months and its starting to show. I'm generally happy for the most part.

On the other side, I have this deep existential dread, I'm much older than I'd like to admit to myself, too old to be living at home again. I want to learn something other than labor but I'm worried I'm not smart enough to excel at something thats entirely brainy. Although my friends are all wonderful, I'm very clearly lagging behind in life. Most of my friends are thinking on marriage, buying a house, etc. I'm just awkwardly coasting, haven't had a real relationship in years, haven't ever had a career just jobs. I've started to come out of my nihilistic mentality and have been thinking even if life seems aimless, I should at least try and have a good life for myself. At a certain point I just had the mindset of I'll just keep closet drinking as much as possible until my mom can't handle how long I've been at home and jobless and kicks me out and just kind of go from there, letting my friends pass me by and go on with their lives. But now I want to catch up, get my own place again, start building my credit and being cash positive, even if it means going back to being a wageslave that's just life. I dunno, I feel like Im in another growing pains phase in my life, and it makes me anxious.
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>>7930359
I'm
>>7930561
Reading through your post I empathize a lot man. When I was 22 that was very much my life, I was making decent coin and I spent my money in really bad ways, it's a bad habit of mine that I still haven't fully broken. But in the end none of it really made me happy much, a few things did I guess but for the most part I'd buy things I wouldn't even use a month later. I also was super nihilistic but also was obsessed with world news, my friends after a while would just tell me to stfu because I was talking about all these terrible global events and killing the mood.
I really feel you on the rut, I think you might be a little bit depressed. I remember I was going through the motions and didn't really think about how I wasn't really happy, because like you I still had the foundations of what is seemed normal. Had a job, had friends, had family. When I realized I hadn't been happy for most of the day in years I realized I was depressed, it comes in different forms so. Not everyone who's depressed is laying in bed or crying all the time, or even at all. I realized I hadn't cried since my dad died years before, being emotionally numb is definitely being depressed.
I can't really give you all that much in terms of advice because I'm in the middle of it too, but I'd say doing something for yourself that's not dependent on materialistic things is a good place to start. You have to find what it is though, for me it was the gym which is cliche as hell but it's been working for me. I'm doing things with my body and improving which feels fulfilling. It's bled into other things like I've cut back heavily on smoking because cardio is torture. Cut back on drinking because I hate my beer belly and love handles, I'm eating better because what's the point in going to the gym for an hour and giving it your all just to come home and eat junk? But yeah, I'd say doing something for yourself a couple times of the week will help with the feeling of a rut.
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>>7930434
Human connection is important, anon. I'm sorry to hear that the person you connected with ended up drifting apart from you. But I'd say keep looking, it's very hard to go through life alone, we're inherently social creatures. In today's day and age there's this massive separation between people, I believe the internet and social media has kind of fucked us all even though I love it, it's become much harder to find genuine connections and people seem kind of like NPCs most of the time.
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>>7930026
On one hand I feel like you were just a kid and didn't really know the gravity of what you were doing to another human being, on the other I have a deep hatred for people who molest others. I don't think it should be something held over your head exactly but you shouldn't ever forget what you did. My sister was molested as a child by a grown man and she developed mental illness and now she'll never be the same. She'll never be able to work a normal job and her circle of friends is so small because she's mentally ill. When she was a teenager she was ambitious and very smart, she's a shell of who she was. I'll never forgive the man who did those things to her, and wish him the most awful life. I hope that the girl that you did that to had better circumstances and grew up okay
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>>7929807
A baking career sounds pretty comfy, although depends on what kind of a baker, having to be up and running in 3 in the morning really wouldn't be my cup of tea.
But if you get the chance definitely do that, a craft like that is infinitely better than the soul sucking desk jobs of today
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>>7929629
I have intense psychosis randomly every week or so. I can't tell when it will take me, but it always does. I leak out emotions from every part of me, my depression seeping into the people around me, I grasp at whatever control I have. Self help guides, masturbation, lovers, video games, music, anything everything. I can't stop seconding guessing every thought I have, every inch I take in the form of actions comes crashing down on my emotional spine like some wrathful god. I scream in pain, my trauma burning everything around me. I am born an abuser, I take the form of that abuser.

As if some god wished to torment me endlessly, it does the same thing it has always done. Lifts the pain right out of me, freeing me from the insanity that raped my internals. When I open my eyes all I see is battered ruins, and a fuck ton of hurt people.

I want to isolate, never reaching out in fear of watching my hand slash that which holds and cares for me on a regular basis.

I cannot reach out to mental health care, when I can't even speak the language properly. And those online wish not to take those who wish for death, I am stuck.
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So, I fucking hate my entire existence.
Before I was thinking that problem in school/university/work. Now I am earning not-bad money by shitcoding. I can eat pizza every day, most time I can do whatever I want (sitting upon the turned off monitor or scroll stupid shit).
At the end of the day, I have everything for the happy existence, but I still hate life. I don't need any more money, I don't need a bigger house, but I still can't enjoy my life. I think the most relevant that I can do is killing myself.
This is not a depression or sadness thing, I just can't cope for nothing, I never cry, I can talk to people without any problems, I am not a virgin. Here's just nothing good and warm for me In this life. Feels like somewhere in a month, will just strangle myself with a rope to fully experience the process of death and feel what I've been waiting for so long without even knowing that is the right thing to do.
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>>7930565
Id definitely say Im teetering on depression and have been for some time. It just all feels so hopeless. I am working, and making enough to live comfortably, but not enough to live on my own and im stuck with my boomer parents at nearly 30. there is no future in what I do and im under this risk of losing the contract so I can lose it all within the next year. If I cant work, then I cant pay my bills so I cant live on my own, which means I dont date and have no social life, so my whole existence has become going to work, going home and going to bed. I treat myself with little splurges or going to the gym to stay healthy, but its not enough anymore.

Adding to all that, the state of the world is so fucked and is a direct cause as to why my life is so stagnant. Im surrounded by that negativity because all my parents do is watch the news and yell at the tv, while simultaneously telling me to "get out there and live your life before it too late!" and I literally can't. Im so very fucking tired, all ive done is work for this system and all its done in return is spit in my face
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>>7930645
The fact that you think being able to eat pizza every day and endlessly scroll through the internet are parts of "everything you could possibly want for a good life" is a major problem. Try eating healthier and doing more exercise. I'm not saying that to be an asshole, but it genuinely helps. If you have access to it, walking through the woods is great. An hour out in nature every week is as beneficial to your health as walking 10,000 steps a day. If you can do both, then the change will be massive. Also a regular sleep schedule works wonders like you wouldn't believe. I recommend going to sleep at around 10pm and waking at around 6am. Good luck anon.
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>>7930351
I'm so lonely! Yet I can't move because of overwhelming fear and self hate
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I miss being a kid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fuqAki8gLA
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>>7930570
3 in the morning would be good if I could rest in the evening lol, but yeah, it'd be nice
I do love my profession and love to write, and even have filmed a dozen shorts, but the art/film world is so full of meaningless bullshit and so closed off to strangers that's it's extremely discouraging.

Still gotta try, but I will not take another desk job, I fucking swear
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>>7929629
I collapsed on my balcony whilst plumbers were working on my house last Monday, I woke up in hospital on Wednesday and I only got home tonight. I'm 34 yo and might have renal failure. I feel terrified, angry and I'm exhausted. Fuck life.
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>>7930709
What caused it?
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Shit friends, I'm screwed, last weekend my wife kicked me out of her parents' house, I made many mistakes and I was wrong about many things, in the end she decided she didn't want to continue with me. He asked me to leave and I did, I've been away from home for a week and I miss my son every day, yesterday I ordered pizza because on Saturdays we both walked, father and son, even the store clerk gave us an extra portion I haven't talked to them because she doesn't answer my calls or text messages. I think routinely I can't stop working. I went as far as I could and wanted to, on the other side of the city, and now traveling would be at least 4 hours on public transport, but I have so many things on my mind that I don't know where to start. I haven't discussed this situation with her and I don't know where to start either. Today I saw my mother and I only told her the good things that have happened to me this week. I haven't told her to get off the truck where she came from because she burst into tears, nor that I sleep little, at most 5 hours- I also stopped using the social networks that I used to frequent, I think I'm screwed. I don't know which way to go or where to ask for help.
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>>7930762
Sounds like you did something stupid, so deal with the consequences dumbass. Take an english class while you're at it.
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>>7929629
Eriophorum vaginatum
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>>7929898
I finished my master's in physics this January and was lucky to avoid the worst of covid because I wrote my thesis during lock-downs, so didn't follow courses etc. during that time. I can't imagine studying full time all-online.
if it's any solace I also struggled my first, second and even third year in the bsc with grades all over the place and feeling the pressure of re-exams. But things slowly got better as things began to "click" and make intuitive sense. I was close to dropping out, but glad I didn't. For me, it was extremely important to have fellow students to study with and discuss topics and problems, and also shoot the shit. Keep on keeping on and hopefully things will get better for you
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>>7930731
My late father lost a kidney when he was 12. was in and out of hospital in his teens etc. When he died in 2018 i hit the bottle pretty hard for six months then stopped when i woke up in bed in a pool of vomit. sober ever since instead of the occasional beer with friends socially or whatever. nothing to the point where i'd trash my kidneys or liver at least. maybe it is hereditary i'm not sure. when i was born they put me through a plethora of tests to see if i had dads kidneys but it turns out i had my mothers, fit as a fiddle. however i've been taking tramadol and klonnopin for anxiety since 2008. tram can't be good for kidneys and i'm guessing any benzo would trash a liver. fuck man... this really sucks :(
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>>7930731
You were the only person who replied. Thanks anon. Will post more mood papes
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>>7930859
Go buy one from someone in southeast asia. I don't think organs are more than 40-60k
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My dad is probably going to die soon. He have had dementia for some years now, but a couple of weeks ago he had a stroke and it has gone downhill fast since then. My mom said today that I should travel to them because it might happen soon. I'm going to drive there tomorrow. I just don't fell anything now, I'm just so tired. I don't know what will happen when I see him in the state he is in right now. I don't know how I should process losing him. I know it will happen and I have known it for years now. But it still happened so sudden
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>>7929629
I'm feeling pretty good, but also a little weird. Not in a bad way, but it feels like I'm going through a lot of changes lately, so there's some melancholy there. I'm playing video games much less than I used to, got a new haircut, am getting new glasses soon in a new style, am listening to different music than before, etc. I also went through a mini-crisis about my career trajectory: I'm a library and information science graduate student who was working at an archive, but I quit that job both to focus on life improvement and because it stopped being something I wanted to do in my future. Now, I've shifted academic focus into instructional design and I'm more involved at a church than ever before. Later this week, I start evangelism training with some friends and we're going to go out to university campuses. I'm feeling good about all these changes and I have a lot to be happy about, but the inertia of change has me feeling a weird sort of way. Thanks for reading, I'll be praying for you.
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>>7930969
It's hard but just be thankful you get to say goodbye. My dad died suddenly 3 years ago and I still can't accept it.
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>>7929910
Stuff over on the lib/left democrat point of view. As time goes on I can stomach those viewpoints less and less.
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Just hoping to move on with my life, I've been stuck in this city for a decade working endless hours and dead end jobs for shit pay. I'm working on getting a place back in my home town. Something rural and the fuck away from all the people. Nearest neighbor is a half mile out. Taking up sewing and leatherwork as a hobby, rebuilding my literature collection little by little. Hoping to get myself into a healthier state of mind and body with the change. Hope things smooth out for you guys, reading some of these its fuckin rough the last few years for all of us.
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>>7929898
Got a chance to study CS in the US, but went there right when corona hit. I too wish I had delayed my start by a semester or so.

I wasn't ready for the fucking online classes and isolation while paying full in-person out-of-state fees. Let's just say I lived in the most populated city of my third-world shithole and went straight to a deserted redneck college town. The experience was rough to say the least.

I am now 22, no degree, no job, wasting away in my parent's home back in this land of savages. I am devastated with no will to continue. I know I can create other opportunities/try again since I'm not too old yet. But I have lost any confidence I had in my abilities. I have even started stuttering fml.

Looking back, I know what I could have done better but that alone can't help me. What I need is a lot of grit to get anywhere. A lot of grit. Also, I have asian parents so iykyk. Life never was/never is/never will be a fair game.
>>
Slowly working things out with my best friend. Complicated relationship.
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>>7932129
shut up
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What are some of your hobbies? I've been thinking of things I used to do many years ago as a kid; fishing, hiking, camping, just being in nature in general. I've been seriously neglecting all of that's for years and I think I want to get back to it.
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I got perma banned from twitter for posting about my eating disorder and I'm so lonely and angry and I have nobody I can latch onto because there's no fucking way I'm telling people i know in real life that I'm 29 and still have an eating disorder. I miss my toxic twitter friends and I miss people being mean to fat people.
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>>7932656
Try god and you wont have to worry about that anymore.
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tldr; I'm killing myself in 2 days

dont know why but I lost the ability to feel love, joy, sadness, anxiety, and fear, and when I do manage to muster a feeling- I dont, its like my body reacts but the emotion is in another room, I try my damnest to cry but the pressure just builds at the base of my skull and no tears come, I can drink 1.5L of energy drink at once and not get nervous, I can laugh but my brain doesnt feel that little high afterwards, as if I didnt laugh at all, I can look at those I have loved dearly for nearly a decade, and feel absolutely nothing

all I have left is a happy general mood nearly every morning, anger which I heard travels different pathways in the body, and a neutral indecisive mood that comes at night, not empty inside, and different to boredom, yet still uncomfortable in an inexplicable way, like its a physical presence in the center of my brain, preventing me from feeling things like I have my whole life up until almost 2 months ago now

it came suddenly with a host of physical issues too which made me think it was a mini stroke or someshit, was told bloodwork looked normal and to wait for symptoms to clear on their own, so I waited, but some didnt clear, and its got to the point where I no longer want help, no longer wish to return to working a shit job just to go home and laugh at memes and pretend its enough
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>>7932787
used to be able to comfortably joke about wanting to die since I knew I didnt truly want to, I tried years ago and realised I'm too much of a little bitch with things to live for, but now the incentive to stay is gone, and the fear of leaving is gone

I still dont want to die, the logical part of brain knows this is likely very fixable, but the emotional part doesnt believe that, it has literally lost the ability to care, so oddly enough, now I simultaneously want to kill myself

my parents were abusive cunts, I made no genuine connections after primary school, and those I love are just fictional 2d characters in my escapist world

I am 22 years old

no one will truly miss me
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Modern medicine is making us weak. No one should take medicine for mental health issues. All of the mental health issues can be treated without medication. Mental illnesses are not real, they only exist because society makes them exist. Depression can be treated with excersize.. In a normal healthy society, they would be just fine. ADHD is not real either, it's only treated like a health condition because the traits have been pathologized by society and modern living with their excessive rules and conformist way of thinking and therefore shouldn't need to be medicated. Anti-social people don't have a condition, they just need a slap for them to act right. Not even schizophrenics should be medicated because it's not them that needs to calm down, it's the rest of society that does because the things perceive made worse by how fucked up society is. They're just people with more perception than the average person. These labels are just all bullshit and so is all this medication. If you need a drug, go for weed, because we could all use that shit.
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>>7929639
never let anyone hold you back
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>>7932789
22? Christ, you're still a kid! Think of all those connections you will form as you go on. Things unseen, skills unlearned, joys unfelt. I really hope you think this over some more, pal. I don't know you personally but I know about difficult situations and if you read reports from suicide survivors you'll see that the vast majority regret even attempting it. Life will get better, it always does. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and without that suffering we wouldn't feel that euphoria that comes with overcoming it. I hope you read this and respond, and that I hear from you again in two days' time. Thinking about you, pal. If there's anything I can do I want you should let me know.
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I don't think I'll be able to study black holes and complex physics like I want. I simply think I'm too stupid for it yet ever since I was young I've had a fascination with space and the Cosmos. The is though is that I'm atrocious with math and even though I'm trying to improve it feels like I'll never reach the destination I desire.
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I'm objectum and I'm in love with my computer.
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>>7929655
>I think you shouldn't hate the troons and the gays tho desu... they don't mean no harm
Unless you're a child. Or believe in free speech.
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>>7932789
You still upright, pal?
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Proposing to my girlfriend tonight. 9 years in, about damn time. Blessed that she's been patient enough with me to sort out my own bullshit before going through with it.
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>>7929629
I've planned on killing myself in a few years, when I reach my goal. I don't seek a life of happiness. I'm tired of pretending I could be truely happy one day.
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>>7933240
Hey man did she accept?
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I'm almost 30 years old, I have a daughter that I take care of almost every day because her mother doesn't care enough about her to even see her sometimes for even months at a time, I don't have my own place to live, I can't find a decent job that I won't quit in a couple months because I have to work shitty jobs because of my past background when I was younger, I have to rely on my parents for now, my Mom has stage 4 cancer, my Dad is in bad health too, I literally don't have a single in real life friend anymore, and I'm honestly just really lonely most of the time.. I just want to find a nice girlfriend who will be a good mother figure for my daughter and to become my best friend more than anything else.
I feel stuck very often. But, I've been through a bunch of crazy shit in my life and somehow I still have a positive view most of the time because I know it can always be worse no matter what. Life can be terrible, but it can also be incredibly amazing. I'm just trying to live more in the moment and enjoy everything I do have rather than what I don't. I just need to keep reminding myself I need to put in more effort and keep pushing for what I want in life.
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>>7933240
Give us an update, pal.
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>>7933211
It seems you are a child and believe in being a dumbass
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>>7933278
what's the goal?
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>>7934173
So the only thing you know how to do is go full retard.
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>>7932787
>>7932789
Hope you didn't go through with it, pal.
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>>7932787
>>7932789
Anon, I've only just seen this but please don't. If you need to talk, I will be here. I am also going through a bad time but killing yourself will not fix it. Please if you won't reach out to us that you'll talk to others at least.
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>>7929629
elfs
>>
Feeling that dull apathy.
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I still don't understand why I try dating if I'm in the process of sorting myself out. Sometimes it irritates me that my girlfriend pretends to care about me. Feeling alone weirdly hurts less when you're single and embrace it, instead of being lied to.
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>>7935319
why do you think she's pretending?
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>>7935319
Maybe she's not pretending, she might not know what to do when you get sad or introspective. My s.o. doesn't ever know what to do, I just ask for some space.
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>>7929807
Facts.
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>>7932789
I relate to this a lot, I'm about to be 23 and I would rather be dead.

The college I've been going to for the past 5 years just fucked me out of a major by not mentioning that 2-3 classes I needed are offered on a selective basis. My scholarship money has run out, so I'll be graduating with a minor and certificate -- no major.

My siblings can all be successful and have jobs related to their majors, but I know I'm just a let-down. I still haven't told my parents I'm graduating major-less, and if they try to make me stay I'm either going to commit suicide or something worse.

I can't afford to mentally (or monetarily) stay here anymore, and all the work I put into my career was fruitless anyway. I've gone to the counseling center on campus over five times now, and they always give me initial assessment paperwork and referrals instead of seeing me like the other undergrads -- I never actually see the therapist. Wait time for appointments is months.

Two days ago they told me they would connect me to the psychology clinics here on campus but I haven't gotten an email or phone-call. If you go in-person it's the same story, and with zoom.

They offer these services as "free" and "with tuition," but because they operate at 1/2 capacity, it's a joke.
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21, for a few years now I've been passing on through college by cheating and cutting corners when it comes to the "work" I'm suppose to do. my degree is in computer science, yet I'm not really exposing myself to situations that enable me to put in true work related to the field of study.

I've been content with doing these chores the college has given me, but I feel a need to do more on my own. I just don't know what that is. obviously I should code on my free time, but make what? another check box github project?

for starters, maybe I should pick up on lifting as well as reading The Bible. I'm just too relaxed with my situation.
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I love you
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People from New York and California should be deported back to their native states and a wall should be erected to contain them all.
>>
What's your reason, anon? What keeps you going?
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>>7929633
>has strong opinions of others' sexual preferences and lifestyle choices
>best thing he had going for him was playing video games in a basement
Yup...
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My girlfriend (5 years relationship in a month) has just left for Germany for a one year contract. We had moved in together last year. Now I'm alone in this apartment where everything reminds me of her presence, and I miss her more than I can express.

Also, I love this image
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>>7936373
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Call, video chat. Better yet, plan a trip and go see her. If you love each other you'll make it work. Good luck, pal.
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>>7935808
Add Texans to that list, because as soon as a single califag shows up, those fuckers start jumping ship to everywhere better and buying up everything and doing exactly the same thing the cali's did to them. Bunch a NYer's just bought up over 100 housing units in my city, kicked everyone out, and are doubling the cost in ghetto. It's bullshit and we don't want their kind here.
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>>7933294
Late but fucking good on you dude for taking care of your daughter in her mom's absence. Don't blame yourself for not having friends; it's hard when you have kids to take care of, even more so as a single parent. If your kid is alive and healthy, you've succeeded. You made it. Cut yourself some slack, you're doing good man.
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>>7936366
>FAG
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>>7929629
Was today tense? I don't really recall, I remember the ups and the downs but I don't feel bad at all. I'm not unhappy at all but maybe I'm leveling with the reality of the world around me right now. My words exactly that I gave to him this evening when he told me that I felt disconnected...

I'm noticing myself flip from being really happy and engaged to swinging into a pit of a dull, ringing sting in the back of my head and I think you noticed it too. I'm working on the swings but I don't really know what more I can do besides find the source of them and if that's even something I can remedy afterwards. I know that it's because of how strongly I feel about you; I only have intense feelings when I'm tied to someone or something but how do I really fix them in a healthy way? I've had the last two days where I've been plagued by the pendulum, worried about our future because I can't control any of it really and I know that; maybe that's why I'm so high-strung. Maybe, I have to lay myself bare again like I used to do and let hell break loose if that is destined to happen. Is that a positive trait? To be able to stare into the void, see danger coming and put your guard down when you know there's nothing you can do or is there always a way to avoid or conquer it? I've done both and I don't know which version of myself I enjoy more.

I was happy to finally be able to lay with my sweetheart tonight again; that brings joy to my heart. I'm a little upset with myself for not noticing that I was making his day worse by being hyper-focused or maybe just overall disconnected. None of this was on purpose and I'm sorry honey. I'm sorry for calling you a freak, I went a little too far, huh? Good night, I love you very much.
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32 years old. Jobless. Started learning math on khan academy. Just started algebra.

Feel good. After I moved, I was forced to quit weed/drinking and I feel wayy more balanced. I recommend going completely sober (no drugs/drinks/porn/sugar) if you're depressed or anxious.
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>>7929629
I'm constantly worried about the future

I resigned from a very stable job to go back to school (Considered uneducated/low ses in my country and require more certification to get a high pay grade/promotion) but I've been putting off committing to signing up for school as I'm not book-smart and I fear I'd be wasting the time and money on it.

My current relationship does not feel like it's working out and both sides feel like they are settling.

Family you grew up with is overrated. It's the people you meet in life and friends you keep around you that makes a difference.
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Recently got my first gf at the age of 27. Honestly not sure how to process it. After all those years on 4chan reading "tfw no gf" posts and other shit about being lonely on r9k and all of a sudden it doesn't apply to me at all. I guess I just got lucky. At least I can finally delete all the dating apps. Dating in 2022 really is hell and probably only going to get worse.
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>>7936710
good job anon. math is pretty interesting
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>>7929629

Me and my best mate used to print this picture out and put it up on the wall of every place we lived in. We made up adventures they could have (mostly when unsober).

My best mate became an insane drug addict, lied to me and our families and everyone else we knew, and was last seen trying to scam money off me under ridiculously false pretences.

They say Time heals all wounds, but you know what? It doesn't.
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I once visited Cambodia in the year before going to college (not for sex tourism, my girlfriend at the time came along). The highlight of the trip was visiting the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat. A couple of days before we were due to leave, we got very drunk on this cheap local "whisky" and bought a cute baby monkey (macaque) at a market and took it back to our hotel.

We knew we couldn't bring little "Monpai" with us when we left so we spent most the the evening teasing and playing with him in the hotel bathtub. Monkeys have a weird reflex when they're scared, they grin and show their teeth which makes them look like they're smiling even if they're fucking terrified. After having fun with the monkey, we had sex and went to sleep. In the morning we knew we had to get rid of "Monpai" before housekeeping came because they would report us to management. While I was rinsing monkey shit off the bathtub, Girlfriend joked about flushing him down the toilet or throwing out the window but instead we left him in a big plant pot in a garden area behind the hotel. We said goodbye and checked out. I don't know what happened to him.

This was a few years ago and am no longer with the gf. I still miss you Lizzie.
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Just massively depressed rn, I know it'll pass it always does, but its just hard. My dad passed away this morning after finally succumbing to two MASSIVE strokes that left him little more than a vegetable unable to do anything for himself. I'm just glad he's at peace now. Rest easy old man, I got it from here.
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>>7929629
been in a relationship for 12 years. it's been dull for years but she's my best friend. saw the cutest japanese girl yesterday at the grocery store and it was the first time in many years that a girl's looks stopped me in my tracks like that. she was on her phone minding her own business and gave no cues of being interested in talking to anyone so whatever. still, i feel kinda grateful to be reminded that i can feel that kinda thing at my age (i'm 41.. fit...no kids and people guess i'm 30 all the time).
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>>7931113
not a lot of anything. just baby steps. create short terms goals that are reasonably achievable. now is always the best time to start.
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>>7933278
truly happy is a daydream. the happiest people tend to be the ones not chasing it all the time.
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Me and my Fiancée are hooking up with a third person next week, to do some fetishy stuff. We met this trans chick who is hot and it came up over drinks. I feel really good about it. Excited for the first time in a long time. But also, it's throwing me off. I love my fiancée but through setting this up over text and just talking to this person, it feels like me and her have more chemistry than me and my fiancée do. I feel like I could fall for this person, and I'm on the fence about calling the whole thing off because of it.

It just feels fucked up because I'm looking forward to talking to this person like I'm dating them, when they were just supposed to have a threesome with us and bounce. We have an open relationship and both occasionally fuck other people for fun, but the agreement is that we can't catch feelings obviously, and that has never been an issue before.

And I feel like i'm catching feelings. It's fucked and I regret that i'm becoming interested in someone else beyond a quick fuck.


>>7929633
On second thought, I might go through with it just to piss this dude off.
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About to go have dinner for my mother in law's birthday. Wife is showering before we go but goddamn do I have to piss. Thinking about just going for it in the kitchen sink.
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>>7936956
I think you should call it off, pal. ESPECIALLY if you're developing feelings. Why drive a wedge, no matter how small, between you and the woman you love?
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>>7936961
Baste
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>>7936956
Open ""relationships"" are bullshit and a recipe for disaster, your brain is rotten by lust and the fact that you'd go as far as, even if jokingly, do the thing because of some rando on the internet is honestly kinda sad.
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>>7937047
You can believe that if you want to, it has worked fine for the past 8 years.

meanwhile i'd bet good money you're alone in your parents house typing out that comment, not realizing the irony in that even coming to this website actually rots your brain.
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>>7936975
Yeah bud, we talked about it and my fiancée still wants to go through with it. Basically "so long as you don't leave me, and so long as our interactions with this person are temporary".

And I'd never leave her so I guess we're alright. I was just feeling guilty about feeling the urge to be flirty via text with this girl while in a serious relationship, but like most things, we talked through it when she got home from work yesterday and reached a solution together. She (my fiancee) is going to handle the planning part so I don't have to continue interacting with this person until the threesome, and we meet up on saturday of next week to bang one out & do some BDSM stuff, and then this girl is going to Washington so I'll probably never see her again. All good.

>>7937050
And >>you.
Communication is the only thing that matters in a relationship. Open relationships and poly relationships make things harder and more complicated, yes, but understand that some people are mature enough to handle that.

You seem to be under the assumption we fuck other people constantly. We've done this maybe 7 times over 8 years. You seem to be thinking this is some kind of pornographic addiction, and it's not. Funnily enough, if anything it has made our relationship stronger because neither of us get jealous about dumb bullshit anymore. If you've ever been in a long term (and I mean really long term, 5+ year relationship) you know damn well that sex gets boring, and while you may still love the person, you think about other people from time to time. That's just the human condition. And we, as a couple, simply address that up front rather than repress it.

Also, whatever internet tough guy told you masturbation and sex rots your brain lied to you, little buddy. It, like anything, can be taken too far. But it's not innately harmful. People like you endlessly try nofap and other incel shit hoping it makes you happy, or manlier, or whatever else. And it never does.
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>>7936844
Jesus Christ, man.
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>>7937051
Godspeed, pal. I hope it turns out the way you want. I agree with you about the communication aspect of a relationship. Absolutely paramount and without it you're doomed from the start. As usual, people offering advice, however intentioned, are only seeing one side of the issue. They do not know you, your partner, or your relationship dynamic. Given this site's dynamic I'd be even more wary of "advice" than elsewhere.
>>
>Be me
>Being good
>Everything is cool
>Friend asking to go hangout with him and some really nice people
>Being overexcited for a few days
>At the begining of the Big day everything starting out really georegous
>Getting drunk
>Some of girls dont like my mixtape
>Calmly sanding girls fucktheirselvs
>Fren.jpg saying that he I's a bit upset with my drunk demeanor
>Spend a couple of hours slowly sobering up greatmetabolism.tar.gz
>Ask a fren for a talk
>Literally starting to cry over what happened to my family and childhood
>Mental breakdown again, but now I am not alone
>Next day
>Cringe jpg
>Spend a night with my own thoughts
I will never see this guy again, he is really careful, but I cant cope with my cringe unbased life, maybe someday I'll finally kill myself, I mean, I never see my mom crying again if I die, what a lol, just need some guts and strength to end this bullshit life for that I never asked
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the more i go on, the more i am tempted to start smoking
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We, therefore, the representatives of this Martian colony, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the universe for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of this colony, solemnly publish and declare, that Mars is, and of right ought to be a free and independent planet; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the United Nations of Earth, and that all political connection between them and the planet Earth, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a free and independent planet, have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent planets may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.
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>>7936959
Just do it. I've pissed in the sink, in beer glasses, in wine bottles, in the shower, in kitty's litter tray, in a wastebin, in a flower bed, in my actual bed (ashamed of that one) and on my girlfriend's face when she was taking a bath. I'd never shit in these places though, I'm not a degenerate.
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>>7935744
You're me 4 years ago. Start lifting, do BJJ (you know you want to), read the bible, go to church. There are cute church girls there, and they'll suck your dick if you're over 6'0, which if you're me then you definantly are. I bet you have a weed problem too.

tldr; make a website as a portfolio
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I'm too fucking lazy to do anything, I can barely make myself pack my bag for college tomorrow
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I just recently started recovering from a chronic illness that has been ruining my life for 10 years now and totally destroying it for the last year after getting the vaccine 2nd dose.

Things are looking up.
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i feel like im changing so fast. a lot has changed in the last five months, and i guess that follows that i would too. but man. emotional rollercoasters all the time. i just wonder what this is all leading to. all this sudden change in me and around me.
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>>7937408
You good mate
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I'm 25 years old and I officially feel like a loser. I don't really want or expect sympathy, but that thought has really been on my mind for the last couple of months.

My senior year of high school was perhaps the happiest year of my life. I used to love to ruminate on those memories and feelings but even those now feel distant. The best years of my life have passed me by, and I have nothing to show for it and it eats at me more than I thought it would.

I really miss the freedom I felt from ages 17-20. I really need to get my shit together.
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>>7929973
Zaandam?
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been suicidal since i was 9, tried to kill myself when i was 14. emotionally deepfried till about 22 when i started working internally
im turning 25 soon and in these last couple of years ive gotten something akin to a dream girl and dream job, with more to come
if nothing outwards is working, maybe go inwards. being angry wont save you. god speed
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>>7936956
>On second thought, I might go through with it just to piss this dude off.
I hope you get pozzed faggot
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>>7937053
Shit happens. And I mean you spend 35 years sucking refinery and welding fumes while drinking hard and getting high, something's always bound to catch up to ya. Just glad he's not suffering anymore. Was real hard to watch the strongest man in my life weather away to little more than bones.
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>>7937716
Good words anon. I myself go too far the other way, spending way too many years self reflecting and discovering now I'm ready to live again, but after so long, don't really know how.

I'm actually going to be homeless very soon, within the next week, and I have absolutely $0 tomy name atm. The only thing I have are my laptop, some cloths, a few books, and a casio ctx-700 keyboard I've been learning on. Thinking of saving up just enough to get my ass to Boston where I still have some friends that may be willing to help, but I'm probably going to end busking on a city sidewalk while looking for work and a place to stay. Not the first time I've been homeless desu but this one feels particularly rough. Any advice my fellas?
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>>7929633
>I never grew up
SAD
>>
If you ever fell emptiness or some kind of apathy try out KFC and some weed. Life is kinda cool, I mean, guys you know, your thougts and feels can be 100% understood by yourself, lol
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>>7930108
>. I'm gonna die with no family if I don't start hustling.

bro get surrogate mother , dont kiss some women ass bec your miserable for kids ,
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I'm in the deep doldrums, anons. Found a massive tumor in my femoral artery earlier in the year, and have been on a brutal chemo routine. Parts of my brain enflamed. I've been bedridden for months. Can only stand looking at a computer screen for a few minutes before vertigo sets in. Can't enjoy anything I used to. Even tastebuds have changed.

Slow slide into oblivion. Not as comfy as I'd hoped.
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>>7938176
Damn, pal. I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have everything you need as far as basic amenities? If you're short a couple bucks maybe the guys ITT could help.
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over the past months i have figured out i've been undiagnosed autistic my entire life and am getting the support and understanding i need.

it's terrifying and to finally know yourself all at once because you really don't know how to even process something like that... but ultimately i've become much happier with myself and don't feel so angry with the world anymore
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>>7938220
Onward and upward, pal.
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>>7929629
Weird seeing one of my photos in an OP, glad you like it. I'm blushing.
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>>7934523
How come.. in the zombie movies... The Zombie bodies are completely destroyed but the eyes are still intact?
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I'm completely burned out, day to day it gets harder to get out of bed, in the last two month i lost 17kg, i drink a bottle of booze every other day, i haven't cleaned my flat in over half a year.
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>>7938352
clean your flat tomorrow. promise?
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>>7938352
Small steps, pal. First, gather the laundry and wash it all. Clean clothes can really improve your outlook.
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>>7938352
you looked behinde the vail, you have two ways to go, go see a the a rapist or kill your inner voice and become a zombie
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#7932787 don’t do it anon, try micro dosing shrooms
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>>7932787 #
Don’t do it anon, try microdosing shrooms
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>>7932787
Sure hope you're still with us, pal.
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>>7936366
>best thing he had going for him was playing video games in a basement
>>7938133
>>I never grew up
lol, if only he went outside he would be sucking cock like you faggots

if only
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>>7929629
Hey if you feel lonely and look someone to talk try me, i made a server to post my stuff and i wasnt planning on sharing but i decided to post this invite, its not a comunity or anything just a place to talk im quite weird and i've been alone for most of my life, and i think its cool to have a place to just vomit stuff the invite is /gxj6ZX3v do what you want and be who you are.
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>>7929629
Most likely gonna lose my job and it's not my fault. Worked really hard, did things right and because of my superior's fuckup imma get the boot.

I'll get another (and better paid) job easy, but the people here are really cool and it's a shame it has to be this way.
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>>7929629
This has been my desktop for over a year. Maybe two years. I came here looking for something else to change it to, but I don't know if I'm ready. Whenever I see it (which honestly, isn't often) it reminds me to breath. It's calming. It also reminds of me a time where I was going through a big transitional phase and I feel like it helped my state of mind during the process. Also, I took it from a thread here.

Anyway I am mentally and physically removed from the state at the time of the desktop background acquisition, but... it's a good memento.
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I don't know what to do anons. I have a job in my field that is super stressful, pretty poor hours (closing at 10pm etc) and not great pay (pharmacy student). I have multple other job offers from other pharmacies in the area that offer the same pay, roughly same amount of hours but much less stress. I just don't know why I don't take the other job offers even though I know they would be better for me

Also girlfriend of 6ish years cheated on me 1.5 years ago and I just can't get the confidence to try dating again. I pretty certain that I could find someone but I just have so much anxiety putting my self out there?

Any suggestions anons?
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>>7939415
What's keeping you at your current pharmacy? Employees? Your boss? Having great coworkers can really help to balance your work stress level, but if it's neither of those things and no real reason to stay, I say jump on it. Why not? You will eventually leverage yourself into something better either way.

Being cheated on hurts bad. A year and a half is probably enough time to jump back into the dating game, though I don't know what that looks like nowadays. One thing to remember is that other people have been hurt likewise, so there are women thinking the same as you. That helps to ease the burden some, if both parties are still a bit sore and skeptical. As ever, it can't hurt to try. Whatever a stranger woman might do to hurt you probably can't compare to what a six year relationship did. That's where I come out on it.

Good luck with both endeavors and please post ITT or the next one and tell me how it's going.
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>>7929898
i also study physics and what i can say its always very difficult so just kepp going. I started studying when corona started, i made my routine and got by. Then we started going back to school and now im forced to travel 3 hours per day which is a waste of time since i cant study there nor be producitve. The point is, it will suck you just have to bite through.
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>>7933287
>>7933905
he either got pumped in which case he would go back to 4chan or they are behind a closed door with a sock on the door handle, which would explain why he isnt replying
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>>7936956
did you already do something similiar?
if so, how did it turned out?
from what im hearing open rs just go downhill
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>>7937503
>i really need to get my shit together
then do it
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>>7929629
I feel like I need to go to a place like Alaska and just go into the woods for a while. I have grown tired of people and the general attitudes found in society. I'm drained of energy and I want to become more than this.
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I broke up with my girlfriend and I feel like I just only began getting over it. The last argument we had was her snapping and unloading all the reasons she was angry at me, how much I was making her upset all the time, and how she never liked me to begin with. I know this was said just to hurt me and I was angry for a bit too. I'm just lonely now. On the bright side, I am learning to enjoy things on my own again without thinking of her. It still makes me a bit sad to walk past or visit places we used to go together to. I wish we had parted on better terms since it hurts to think about with how happy we were for our time together.
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>>7939007
i liked your pape anon, so i've upscaled it to 4k for you. i think it turned out pretty good.
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the weekend before last my wife of 11 years (I'm in my 30s, old fag now) and I mutually decided to separate.

we'd grown into different people and the love was gone, but we still care about and love each other, so when we realized how we were hurting each other we decided to call it ahead of time. It hurts a lot, but I think we'll probably be friends later which is nice.

I was a sad sack for a while, and still am, but this girl that I had some crazy tension with at one of the low points of my relationship (a big libido mismatch for medical reasons... we restrained ourselves but hit the line very close a few times, but decided friendship first) hit me up out of the blue saying she was hoping to reconnect started messaging me and things quickly got hot and heavy.

I'm not ready for anything serious, but it feels like a great thing. I want to be wanted and she wants me and has for ages. She's sexy AF and a freak, and wants me to want her. She's also okay with it not being serious. She just wants to hit the unpause button on the crazy blueballing we were giving each other from those years ago and find out what happens.

She's out of town for work for a couple weeks right now, but we've been chatting. We talked about meeting up for dinner and a movie, then it quickly became about skipping the movie, and now she's suggesting that maybe we should just meet each other first at my place, see where that goes then worry about food later.

In addition to this I feel like the unhappiness that had invaded my entire life for the last few years and had me wanting nothing more than to drink the ol' void juice actually feels like it's going to get better now, someday. It's still there, but, just for once... life feels like it might be an adventure again and things feel like they're gonna be okay
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>>7929639
i liked your pape so i ran it through a denoiser thing, just in case you want another option

congrats on ditching ur toxic "friends"
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>>7939663

Congrats on breaking up with your gf anon. Just consider that you need to learn something from this experience about yourself that you can take forward. You can also look at it this way - if you parted on bad terms, that means the love has been gone for quite a while. You passed the best before date, my guy. While not the kindest observation, it might help contextualize how some of the longing you're feeling might be a little on the unrealistic side... but I mean it's also natural to mourn the death of a relationship and the life you thought you had.
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>>7939904
Yeah I know and thanks. I just spent so much time on her that it's a bit hard to figure out what to do but I'm learning to enjoy things on my own again.
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>>7929661
What was your dream job OP? Have you tried networking through your contacts on Linkedin?
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>>7929807
We live in an amazing time where we can change our careers multiple times in our lifetimes. Can you still pursue film and photography in your down time? Are you working on your portfolio? Could you create a youtube channel documenting your progress or analysing the cinematography in film?

What's stopping you pursuing baking classes? Can you try learning off youtube to hone your skills?
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>>7929898
It's not too late to start doing better. Can you at least finish the degree?
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>>7930108
Are you moving to HK or Singapore? Are you in Banking? How did you make the move?
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>>7930108
Bro I've been trying to find someone to settle down for 10 years now. It's rough out there. Don't be hard on yourself, focus on your career. It'll happen when it happens.
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>>7930561
I'm in a similar situation but all I can say, it gets better. Start setting smaller goals. Use the downtime as a blessing to upskill, whether you want to learn to code, data science, finance, or marketing. Do short courses and apply yourself. If you need an office job to get back on your feet, try Public Sector roles, they hire regardless of background. Good luck anon.
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I don't know what to do anymore. I saw something similar somewhere up the page about how screwed society is and sticking your head in the sand, I feel that so intensely you have no idea. I was promised a decent position with good pay at the beginning of the year, family shit happened, threw me off, training was incomplete and I was expected to just naturally understand everything and run my center by myself. Didn't matter when I tried to speak up, not even to the suits, quit a few months ago after a blowout and unemployed since. I've lost 3 members of close family this year, I have met someone nice I've been dating but they have their own issues and life they need to sort out as well, I haven't slept in about 50 hours as I'm typing this. More and more I'm so disillusioned with modern life, I had a skewed upbringing/schooling that hampered my ability to attend a proper uni, I feel miles behind everyone, I don't have a hobby or marketable skill I can latch onto like some, I'm mildly charismatic but I just like listening and learning from people.

I can honestly say I have little to nothing going for me. I don't know what to do anymore, I still have some savings but I'm not sleeping, nightmares and terrors give me no rest when I do sleep, I feel useless to life. I can honestly say that I do genuinely care for people. If there was some way to make a living by just doing charity work or doing stuff for people in need I'd love that truly. Its unlikely I'll do anything but most of the time, I just don't want to exist anymore.

Sorry if I'm rambly or it didn't make much sense. Basic tldr is I'm tired and I don't see things improving for me anytime soon. I hope I'm wrong, but who knows man.
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>>7939419
>>7939419
Thanks for this anon

Some coworkers are great but others are braindead and are the cause of much of the stress through sheer incompetence. I've signed up to do my 1 year internship in 2024 in another pharmacy but its in another town so I can't work there full time especially with the hectic diesel prices at the moment. I guess the only thing holding me back is 1) moving to another pharmacy but then telling them that I'm doing my internship somewhere else

I've downloaded tinder and I'm setting up a profile after exams. I also don't know how I feel about a med girl at work. She is like 6/10 in terms of looks but 10/10 personality and I don't know whether to ask her out or not
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I just tried my mom's self-made pumpkin marmelade and it was great
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>>7940212
>She is like 6/10 in terms of looks but 10/10 personality and I don't know whether to ask her out or not
Trust me, the personality carries a long way. I am married to a girl who I personally think is a 7/10 on a good day but usually a 5/10 but I wouldn't trade her for the two BPD 9-10/10 girls I dated. But seriously, personality will matter a lot and almost entirely more when you get older. Go for it.
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>>7940212
>>7940214
and whatever you do you keep that opinion about her looks being a 6/10 to yourself and NEVER SAY IT ALOUD AROUND ANYONE. To you if she's beautiful and that beauty is her personality, there's absolutely zero situation EVER in which qualifying that by letting her know just what you think of her physical beauty is not going to fuck you in the ass with no lube
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>>7940212
Here's the tired, yet true, cliché: looks depreciate. Her inner beauty is going to mean much more in the long run than her face having no lines and her curves. Almost anybody can be beautiful on the outside, given money and exercise, save for a few unfortunate genetic factors. If she's got what counts on the inside, THAT is what truly matters. My wife is not necessarily what most people would imagine when they think of conventional beauty. The sticking point is that it doesn't matter what they think. Her kindness, compassion, and personality is what makes her pretty. To me she's the most beautiful woman in the world, and I love telling her that. Another cliché is that as you grow older, you will come to care less and less about the way people look.

>>7940362
Great advice.
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>>7936956
you need to work on escaping from hellfire by repenting and believing in Christ
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How would I even tell my mom that I want to burn out and die, and have felt so for the last 5 years? The only thing keeping me alive is the fact that dying would destroy her and I can't do that to her. But I'm so tired.
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>>7937365

Lol, desu, you are both losers.

"Let me go practice these religious texts in order to fuck virgins out of wedlock I don't care about, get swole to reaffirm my insecurities/vanity, and practice BJJ like a sheep because Joe Rogan told me to."

Here's a better idea, go kill yourself so you both don't waste space for people who are actually worth something in the world.

Actual losers.
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>>7929861
them feels.

I know.
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>>7930108
If you’re a foreigner you can def get local pussy, it will be hard to make friends as Singaporeans aren’t the most friendly, and there is a stigma against outsiders. But it can be done. t. Born and raised there, just left.
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>>7939898
thanks anon, appreciate it
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>>7940778
lol what's even more funny is that a loser probably wrote this
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>>7936343
I'm not a coward. Learn to find joy in the struggle. Get gud.
>sage
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I miss her. But I need to build myself up again. I will become someone who I was proud of before my self-esteem fell apart
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How long does it take to get over a breakup? I keep telling myself it's going to be okay but I want to rip my heart and brain out and toss it out the window.
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>>7941677
According to the extremely reliable Sex & the City's Charlotte York, it takes half of the total time you were together (together 1 year = get over it in six months). In all seriousness, the pain will lessen with time.
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>>7941681
Knew each other for a two years, dated for six months. I'm in for a rough few months. Thanks though anon.
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>>7941683
Keep your head up. Other fish in the sea and all that. You'll be all right, pal. Post again later and check in.
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>>7941711
Thanks man. It really hurts and when I feel like I'm over it, I get dragged right back in. I'll endure. Things will get better eventually.
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Heres my phone wallpaper
damn man i wish i could fish some salmon right now...
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detoxing from heroin. working on getting a degree from mechanical engineering with amphetamine and coffee as my fuel. need to get my shit together somehow again before i rope myself
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>>7940920
If it's hard to make friends, how can it be easy to meet local women? Not that I don't believe you but I've no clue how I'd go about overcoming this.
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>>7941738
proud of you
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i need to go to sleep, i work early in the morning and ive always deprived myself of sleep even though i'm tired
i think i do that thing where people stay up late because they work all the time so its the only time they feel they have for themselves so they don't want to spend it sleeping.
but i love my job and i should really take better care of myself
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>>7941735
>tfw ur a 9/10 but your personality is a 3/10
I pity attractive women. They'll never amount to anything when they hit the wall.
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>>7941738
schedule a weekend. no drugs, no stimulants (coffee, cigs, processed shit) eat as little as possible, plenty of water and nature, and friends if possible. it will help a lot. first 24h will be shit but always be aware that it's mostly a chemical imbalance. I'm happy to know you're fighting your demons. keep it up anon
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>>7929655
>>7929656
>>7936366
>>7936956
>>7938133
The internet was so much better before normalfags ruined it foreveryone. I just wish they'd at least stop coming here. I guess I'm sad that is now either corpo bullshit or may as well be with all the newfags following corpo lines.
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I've realized that all I have in life is my gf.
My dad died when I was 21, my mom died last year when I was 28, my brother lives in another city and is always busy with his family and working, we barely see or talk to each other, I got my degree and came back to the family's home, except its not a family home anymore, its an old house, way too big, with way too many rooms for me where I spend every day alone waiting for nothing in particular.
The only break from this is my gf, we've been together for 2 years and she is great, the funniest girl I've met and I love her, but she has been really busy recently with work and we got into an argument over it, she was supposed to come over to mine but she got a call from work to cover some girl the next day and accepted it, I got mad at her and she got mad at me for putting me over work stuff, we are alright now but this made me realize that she is all I have left in life, I have no motivation, no goals, all my friends fucked off to work in random spots all over the country, I dont even want to talk with her about this because I dont wanna feel like Im asking her to take care of me and my depression, I know she is worried but I dont know what to do.
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>>7930645
Surround yourself with nature, take a walk in the greenest place you can find near you, forests, rivers, a decent enough park will do the trick, go look at it and you will feel better 100%, then get a plant or two and put them in your house.
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>>7932787
You didnt lose anything dumbass, its transitory, things will get better
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I am very very tired, in the existing sense, but content.
I got stuck with a disease you shouldn't in 2019, almost lost my life due it in 2020, had an operation which in my eyes ruins a lot of my comfortable moments and generally haven't been able to turn off without thinking about death work or education. Had to put a halt to a trade job I was in even though I enjoyed it greatly because of the anaemia coming back due to said disease, and everyone I know including the nice people at the job have all basically decided to just let me rest. So i'm very very tired of existing, and I am happy that I get to NEET out for a while and stare into space, I have a couple friends, a comfy bed, and an entire countryside up the road, despite my exhaustion, I do feel content, it's easier to do when you don't care about everybody else in this world. I hope I stop feeling tired though.
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>>7941992
keep her close retard, godspeed
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>>7941582
from one Anon going through that to another, I believe in you man

kind of a weird thing but loving yourself first is what brings other people into one's life - they see how confident and secure and in the moment you are, and are attracted to that

I'm realizing I need to give less fucks. Not zero fucks, just have to pick and choose where to distribute them and place myself first, and more importantly check in with myself and ask if I'm taking care of me going forward
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>>7932807
ultimate based take
think about it, 500 years ago no one ever mentioned mental health issues. some people who were all out crazy got branded as insane, and some rich aristocrats complained about being sad or whatever but in general, the society wasn't fixated on fitting everyone to the same psychological mold.
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>>7936738
congrats anon
did you meet her thru the apps?
good luck homie
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I'm probably whining, considering some of the other comments you guys have posted.
Currently facing the shittiest period i've had in my life so far, due to the ongoing situation between my parents which has my dad away from home, me and my relatives' morale destroyed and my mother's mental health declining. This along with the whole current state of the world, pandemics, war, inflation, housing market, etc. has me having little hope for my future and the future of the world.

Struggling to keep up with school work due to my lack of motivation along with my (admittedly small amount of) ADHD.
Me thinking i'm never succeeding or progressing in skill at work.

RN all I can think is how life could be, and will be much better if i finish school and have more freedom in life; losing weight, go on a sport, get a girlfriend, etc., even though my procrastinating and overall lack of input (because of laziness) is only making this less and less of a reality, considering it's just 3 months away.
I know i just need to get my shit together and start working, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Anyway here is this crappy pape
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>>7932807
>normal healthy society
what's that "normal healthy society" you talk about?
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>>7930645
I feel this cousin.. so tired of everyone telling me to "eat healthy and exercise" when all I can think about is wanting to shatter the walls of this cage and ask whoever is on the other side "why?". and if there isn't anything on the other side then all the more reason to slide back into the nothingness we arose from. pointless. all of this. no amount of nature and exercise is going to change that. 40 years is enough of this shit
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>>7940545
Same boat anon. Sorry I don't have any answers for you.
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>>7929629
sometimes i wish i was a giant snail
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An update but my ex-girlfriend is talking shit about me to everyone I know. I know they don't believe her but I can also see them starting to think differently about me. It's so tiring.
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>>7942829
iktf, I started going out with my best friend, nicest girl I knew, once we broke it up I could tell she started badmouthing me to our mutual friends because of how they started to look at me and acted around me. Had to completely start over and find new people to hang with.
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>>7929629
I have no idea what to do since my future seems so bleak. I'm currently failing my accounting course, failed 4 subjects already and even if I succeed I'll be buried under paperwork that would keep me at work for over 10 hours everyday, or so as they say. No time to have a family or a hobby.

On the plus side I've booked a psychologist but I missed the appointment lol.
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>>7942878
What year are you? I basically flunked all of my courses in my freshmen year but it's never too late to make a turn around.
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It's flu season for the jabbed
Heil Heidler
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>>7941992
Tell you what. Better dead parents, then an alcoholic parents who used to beat you when you were just a child
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>>7941677
>How long does it take to get over a breakup?
>>7941681
>According to the extremely reliable Sex & the City's Charlotte York, it takes half of the total time you were together (together 1 year = get over it in six months). In all seriousness, the pain will lessen with time.
Was about to post this, didn't even know where it's from, but it's true. Don't degrade yourself sexually just to prove you still "got it", just be patient and focus on giving yourself to god.
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I received a software dev job offer that would pay over 100% more than what I'm making right now, and would likely be easier and more interesting work than what I'm currently doing. However...in the phone call where I was offered the job, I was told I would need to pass a drug test. This wasn't mentioned in the job posting, or at any time earlier in the process. I have to take the test tomorrow afternoon. It's been 9 days since I've smoked any ganj, but I have no idea whether I'll piss clean or not. I've got low body fat, I usually just dry vape or smoke small amounts of flower once or twice a day 5/6 days a week, and I've been drinking a fuck ton of water, so maybe I'll pass? But on the other hand, it's only 9 days, and I've never taken a test with less than 2 weeks clean. This job would be lifechanging, but I've got a bad feeling that I'm going to fail the test. I'm anxious as hell, pissed at myself for not going on a break earlier, and pissed at the company for not telling me right from the start that I'd have to pass a test. If I'd known when I was applying, I'd be going on 3 weeks clean.
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>>7941949
>"Whaaa corpo yadda yadda"
>*Posts IBM Corporate Advertisements for their 1401 mainframe (Can't get much colder than IBM in the 60s through 80s)*
aheemmm
Retard

Thats not to say the photo isn't beautiful, again, just to say that you are oblivious to the irony
>>
>>7942472
yea. I probably would have preferred to meet in a more "natural" way and I tried by going to clubs/meetups and doing like rec sports and stuff but it didn't happen. I guess it isn't that crazy to meet your gf through an app nowadays. I know a few people who are engaged that met on tinder/hinge etc.
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>>7942936
I am 19, I've moved to a new city alone and I have no idea on how to meet people
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>>7942924
I really don't know anything about drug tests as I've never taken one. Is it monitored at all, as in, do you have to piss in front of somebody or on camera? If not, can you borrow a tiny bottle of urine from someone you know is clean, and use it for the test? I don't know if this is completely off base or not.
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>>7942924
Search on youtube for pectin drug test or something. It is some stoner biology shit but it has worked for me in the past and its better than just crossing your fingers i guess?
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>>7932807
someone with a psychotic condition that wholeheartedly BELIEVES they have bugs crawling under their skin is mentally ill and should be medicated. I agree with your take, but not your absolutist approach, just in 95% of cases.

I dont think medication should be a long term approach, and while I think ADHD should be managed in ways that are not medication-centric, there is on harm in some ADHD retard using medication every now and then to get their uni work done. Also, we've been using medication to treat mental illness for centuries, the drugs were jsut different and the illnesses were called different things. People chewed coca leaves if they were depressed or unmotivated, people drank wine as a way of managing anxiety. It isnt anything new. BUT, I would certainly agree that we are overprescribing, trying to treat far too many things with far too many drugs. Your argument has solid foundation and I agree, absolutism is retarded
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>>7932787
>>7932789
go to the gym
>>
Another update. My ex keeps talking shit to me to all our mutual friends, blocked me on all social media, but keeps sending me texts about how much she hates me and how horrible I am. Why is she doing this? I moved on but this shit keeps bothering me. I blocked her number but she keeps doing this shit on other platforms.
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>>7942924
there are drinks out there that can make your piss clean for a short amount of time, i would look that up! also most reputable smoke shops sell them. hope this can help at all!
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I feel like a predator when I see women on a night out and feel myself being sexually attracted to them. Even if I don't make a move, I hate the idea of being a perverted man and potentially making women feel uncomfortable. This is why I am single and even though I fight it, I find myself very disappointed when I lose the battle and end up hitting on a woman. I did it the other night to a co-worker at a work function and I feel disgusted in myself.
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Hi folks, hope yall are doing well. I am doing good, not really but better than I was. If anyone cares a year or two ago I was at the lowest point in my life, I was 19, lost my mom and was working a deadend job. Things have since then changed for the better, thanks to you. Thank you for the kind words back then, for all the help, it really meant the world to me...
Sadly here I am again, for selflish reasons no less. Like many people I feel stuck, stuck in my own mind and my way of thinking. Do you know that feeling when wake up on a Saturday early because you forgot to turn off your alarm? You look at your phone and think "Huh I could actually get up the same time I usually do and do something" but you turn off your phone and lie down again, hoping to never ever leave the warmth of your blanket. Of course everyone knows this, but for me this the reason I am so confused. When I was little I thought "If I dont want to wake up, I just wont!" and Id hide under the duvet until mom got pissed. I realized that forever being asleep is not possible, well, when I was maybe 8? I learned it was possible, and very simple - you just had to die! My dog died and she didnt have to bother waking up for school or walks, she could nap all she wants! Since then I always thought of death, in both a freightened way and a fascinated one, like when you're a shy kid and too scared to go to the playground alone. I wanted to die, maybe its because I am so "sleepy", maybe its because my dreams were always so so much better than my reality, maybe its just because I never had the courage to accept life as is... But since then I have been constantly planning the perfect end. Ya know, set the scene and imagined how Id do it. I always wanted it to be when I was still fairly young, maybe once I hit 30 sounded good enough. By then I hoped that my family members would pass away so that they didnt have to suffer through it, and the way things are going this might well be the case...
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>>7944088
My friends? Id buy a ticket to Thailand and tell them that I am going to bang some trannies in Pattaya for a couple of months. Even if someone would care enough ask about me, they would never be able to find me, not in Thailand for sure. I'd take a gun and walk to a nice place in the country, far from civilization. I'd find a nice meadow, preferably in spring, lay down on the grass and just look at the clouds and the sky for a while. Then when a particularly cold breeze passes over me, I would place the tip of the nozzle against the side of my head and die a very painful but hopefully short death, with my brain matter scattered over the green grass and white chamomiles. Typing this out and reading it really is funny. 'What an idiot this guy is, he really wants to kill himself cause he feels sleepy? That is even more retarded than Werther's reason and he was a simp, wow what a fuckface.' Yes. I realize this is stupid. Im not sure I want this anymore. But I feel stuck, stuck in this weird mindset of ennui and laziness. I think I want my life to be better, I think I want to improve myself but that is not easy. Its easier to just do nothing, to just rot away playing games or jerking off in my free time. Its easier to just promise myself a quick release from the mess I am making when I reach 30... I dont know, well I do. Why am I writing this? I dont know, well, I do. Just to get it out of my head, to put it some form, to give this crockpot of dirrhea that are my thoughts some tangible shape of words which we can then hopefully mock together...
If you read through these two posts I can only say that I am sorry for wasting your time with this inane babble.
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Sup people, hope you are doing okay

So I got depression, pretty severe one and did some therapy. Worked out great tho, I pretty much healed as much as possible. Still sometimes certain scary situations get me into the whole panic attack and get apathic and all that again. That happened yesterday with my gf. She is great and I love her dearly. She tends to build up stress and release it through extensive crying. Anyway I gotta cope with that anyhow. Spoke to her some minutes ago and we are fine. Just need to process all that.

Have a great start in the week yall!

btw I took that photo, hope you like it
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>>7942924
just say you caught the rona and CDC recommends 5 days of isolation, ask "please, pretty please because i don't want to pass on the rona I'd feel so guilty - can we push back the test by 5 days? I don't want to leave my house"

winrar right there, AND you come off like a nice respectable considerate-of-others well-adjusted bro
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Every thread until I can forget.
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>>7943740
you talk like a fag and your shits all retarded, delete your social media, and stop pretending like you don't want to get back together with her

>>7943819
give yourself to god, but don't practice asceticism to the point that you loose touch with your desire to procreate and maintain your sexual health

>>7944088
>hoping to never ever leave the warmth of your blanket.
this is what heroin feels like. the whole world will carry on without you. but if something was better for you tomorrow, you'd never know. kill yourself or don't, your life will be wasted either way if you never make a decision

>>7944121
if you are this unstable you shouldn't be dating anybody, you'll just end up hurt or hurting someone else
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>>7944121
>panik
couples therapy, bro

not a joke, shit works. therapy gives you tools you can use to express yourselves to each other, which if she's building it up and you're freaking out, seems like you both desperately need.
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>>7944090
ur brain chemistry is outta whack

they got shit that helps, bro, but if it "feels" better to you to sit there, fucking wallow and ideate about how you're going to off yourself, then i'm just some NPC on the internet anyway

the funniest part about reading whenever some sad sack posts on this trashpile of a website is that they wax poetic like you, think they're special and their experience is somehow unique (like you, oOOoOoO I waNnA SleEp ForEvErrRrr), but objectively you're literally like Ned Flanders' parents, head in your hands going "I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas"

The only thing you need to release yourself from is your fucky thinking. You feel like it's easier to do nothing? Or you WANT to do nothing? You think you want your life to be better? or you WANT your life to be better?

Make a decision, asshole, and I'll tell you right now choosing death because it feels good to wallow is a hell of an ignoble end, given the sheer fucking odds it's taken to establish that standing quantum wave of thought patterns that constitutes whatever the fuck your mind is.

We are made of stardust, asshole, even you. Go fucking experience whatever life has to give you first and if you die from a heart attack from doing too much blow while fucking 5 hookers in thailand, that'll be several orders of magnitude better than hoping that your poetry about being sleepy while you were young somehow justifies your retarded thinking as an adult. Get fucked, and be alive to feel it you fucking dumbass.
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I miss the 'old internet'. Specifically the aesthetic. Netscape and AOL. It was cheesey and no one knew what the fuck they were doing when they made their websites. Bit the Gifs were soulful and everyone was far less toxic.

>Comic book message boards
>IRC chatrooms
>Limewire
>Flash games
>Early YouTube
>Early Steam
>Half life, cs 1.6, quake, unreal
>Windows 95 startup sound

I can never go back...
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>>7929629
So, my computer broke down and now I have nothing in my life. Its fine, but boring. You know, just laying on the bed, or siting on a chair. I have no interest, even for people. I can be social but I dont want to, can have a girlfriend but dont know for what would I find a gf, no reasons. I just exist, for no real resons, weird, but fine by me, just wasting the time, would be cool if someone share thoughts about this
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Pushed my soul in a deep dark hole
I followed it in
I met myself crawling out
As I was crawling in
Then I woke up so tight
I said "I never will unwind"
Saw so much I think I broke my mind
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>>7932807
>mental illnesses are not real
>depression can be treated with exercise
make a fucking decision you absolute retard
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>>7944342
>can have a girlfriend but dont know for what would I find a gf, no reasons
For that moist tight hole between her fucking legs, maybe?
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Exercise didn't help me with my depression at all.
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>>7944549
nah, its not even exciting after first time
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Finally went to the gym.
Waste of money and I feel bad about this.
I heavily can lift 4.5 kg, I think I will go to this place until my pass is over and forget this like a bad dream. Anyway I am 65kg 6 ft and now I fine with this
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Spent the day helping my father in law clean his warehouse. Sore but feeling accomplished.
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>>7944551
Read the bible and do not take antidepressants.
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My life is getting better by every objective measurement, but deep down I don't feel any better. Don't know what to make of it but gonna keep moving forward just to see what happens. I keep thinking of a song lyric lately; "I'm not what sure what I want but I don't think it's this."
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34 and dealing with stage 4 colon cancer. Went to a friend's wedding last night and had a great time seeing everyone again. Just sucks having to deal with all the emotions and thoughts of I probably won't live long enough to make that a reality for myself.
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In college for aerospace engineering. Suffering gender dysphoria, and I've never talked about it to anyone before. It's a problem I've had all my life and just now at 22 (birthday today!) I'm picking up on it and realizing it. I really want a way to express my creativity/self, I'm going to pick oil painting back up, I would love to put some ideas on canvas. Guitar and skateboarding aren't doing it for me nowdays.
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For the first time in a long time I am feeling pretty good.
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Traditionally lurking, deciding to post for once. Recently moved halfway across the country for a fresh start. Jobless for going on 5 months and bills piling. Can't check easily, but may have BS warrant in my home state affecting job applications. The biggest good thing is happening in January, and that's just a 6 month contract. It can't come soon enough.

Hope all the other anons are hangin' on and doing well.
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I wish I knew if he liked me back or not. In the meantime I hope I pass my courses next semester
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>>7944342
I just went through 2 fucking months of this. Strange time. I just drank bottles of sherry (which I NEVER did before) and watched camgirls on my smartTV.
Ive done everything I wanted to do in this life, Im easy to please anyways. Ive had 10+ serious girlfriends, sex til sex lost its fun. Now, I just want to waste infront of my win6.1 PC til the sun doesnt rise anymore.
(Buy backup computers: my tablet, phone, RaspberryPi400, and 2 laptops got me through, barely, but fuck did I miss my desktop)
Its been up for 2 days now, hard getting win7 on brand new arch.
This is a good thread. Everyones life is so interesting and sad.
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>>7929629
Im just not enjoying life no more, barely anything makes me happy and the one o the few things that still make me happy(driving) I cant do rn as im at uni and my car is far away home and too broke to buy one here and esp the commies in EU governments have a hardon against cars.
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everyone should try this. slowly slowly

google image search suria namaskar gif
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>>7937840
be prepared to bow, even in your final moments
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>>7942945
Work in a restaurant
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>>7930645
You need meaning. Or Jordan Peterson, either one.

>>7937110
Hopefully you didn't go through with this. I don't think you are cringe. You've inspired me to start seeing elements in my life as various file formats, and that's something.

>>7942924
I need to know if you passed or not

I'm just really into Christmas and about to start a Christmas wallpapers thread if there isn't one. Life has been a little chaotic lately and slowly going broke. But still have a lot to be thankful for.
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I've been in the strangest rut for over a year and I don't know how to get out of it anymore. I had everything mapped out before covid but it shut me down at the worst time and somehow I still haven't gotten myself back on my feet. I always feel like it's right around the corner but I don't know where to start.
>>7930645
This is definitely a depression thing. Comfort is a goal and the house and money are part of that. But the challenge and struggle is what gives us life. You need to set new goals, small or large. If we don't have something to work for we forget how to live.
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15 years ago I developed a rare condition in my neck.

Pain is pain but agony is writhing. And so I did, year after year. That turned to screaming. That didn't stop for a long time, then that turned to the mental and suicide wards. I lost it completely. Eventually something when blank and i relearned to talk but have never been the same. I chased down every solution, every doctor, the highest level American healthcare institutions have had me as a patient. A fortune gone for nothing. No help. It's still like this at 41. Whatever drug or tactic you're about to suggest, tried it.

Internally i beg for death. Externally I shake and I'm lucky if I get a few bites of food before having to lay down again. Feels like I'm finally going and I hope it's soon. It has been difficult to type this.

If you're not in stabbing pain, celebrate.
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>>7946921
I want to meet rich people with poor judgement.
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>>7946931
Peterson is a self-help pseudoscientific spewing quack, every psychologist worth his salt has said so.
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>>7947237
Christ almighty, that sounds like hell. How do they typically treat it? Sounds like you tried everything. I assume they can't just pump you full of morphine and dull the pain some.
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>>7947265

They have talked about sewing a morphine pump that delivers periodically through the day right onto me as my last option, but the catch is you can never go off of it.

I've been an opioid addict years ago due to this and I'd rather suffer this and die than even step into that world again.
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>>7947304
That's rough, pal. I'm sorry. Whatever you do I hope you find a way to lessen your suffering.
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>>7947252
>every psychologist worth his salt has said so

bold claims require sources...
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>>7930026
At 12 years old you were more than capable of understanding why you shouldn’t do that.
You are a pedophile.
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>>7933197
Don’t give up! You could still try to become a janitor at nasa or something.
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>>7933983
You will never be a woman.
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(posted on adv but posting here too)
my gf is sad and idk what to do or say to make her feel better
we've been together for a couple months. she's 18 and I'm 19, we were friends before

she doesn't really have any friends other than her best friend who she has known for years and then me.
that's one of the reasons she's sad - she doesn't have that many friends. and neither do i so we can't exactly hang out with them.

the other reason she's sad is because she doesn't like the way she looks. I'll admit she's not a model or anything but she's cute and she's certainly not ugly. to me she's beautiful. she's a little chubby - not disgustingly overweight or anything but she's not skinny at least.

she opened up to me today about trying to lose weight but not being able to, and eating too much sugar.
she told me her mother tells her she eats too much which makes her feel bad. her family aren't rude or anything but they don't help or really care, they just say stuff and don't think. she told me she often comfort eats when she feels sad or stressed about something.
i want to help her and make her feel better but i don't know how

that's the gist of it, ask for further details if needed... sorry if it's rambley

she makes me really happy, and it hurts to see her sad.
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Somehow I couldn't find this thread while searching through the catalog earlier. But here I am.

I'm about to move to a new, distant city. Even further from my family and old-days friends. And it makes me sad and worried. Because I did not manage to find a single person here (in my current city) to hang out with for like 1.5 yr. No one. Everyday I come back from work to my empty apartment and spend the rest of the day mindlessly browsing the net.

When I pass random people talking with each other on the street I feel envious. Because I have no one IRL. No fucking ONE.

And it will get even worse in a couple of weeks. I hate myself for begin so antisocial. I blame myself for being so antisocial.
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>>7947740
It's rough seeing someone you love be in pain. The weight thing I know well, it's hard. I would tell her to start with a small step, such as no soda (or switch to Diet for a while, then off completely). One thing that really helped me was fasting but I understand that's considered an extreme measure for some. If I may offer you some unsolicited advice: just be there for her. You won't be able to fix or solve everything, but you can support her through anything and offer your love. People need a shoulder from time to time so be that for her.
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Why did they pave the lawn
Why did they change the locks
Why did I have to break in
I only came here to talk
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>>7947252
I don't blame you for thinking that, although I don't think we need psychologists who are 'worth their salt' to decide for us. I just know in the past his ideas helped me through some stuff like what was described in the post.
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>>7947758
I feel you anon. I also am entirely isolated from society, family, anyone really. I even grew up around here and literally spend days, weeks not interacting with anyone for more than 5 minutes. Its fucking miserable.
But you're about to have a clean slate, so things might pick up quite a bit. Unsolicited advice; its a new city, you can literally be and do whatever the fuck you want without consequences. You can leave the old habits behind, try different ways of living and interacting with people. Fuck the shit life, build habits that increase good times. Get a job in a team environment (landscaping, kitchens etc) that spends lots of time together. Pick a cafe and go once a week. Join a social meetup(.com) and give it a chance. I hate sport but climbing is super chill and it allows you to do something entirely on your own (bouldering) without the expectation of interacting with others, but other solo anons are doing the same thing, so its inevitable that you interact somewhat. Anything that involves regular, repeated attendance and action, keeps you focused so you don't freak out and regularly being around others brings down barriers and forces casual interaction. You got this anon, go slow.
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>>7929629
This last year has beat me down. I have lost a lot of close family, I have lost pets, I have lost a fuckton of money due to my home falling apart, I have plunged headfirst back into alcoholism out of stress, my father had another bout of cancer, my friends have left me, my coworkers hate me, my longest running relationship took a complete shit, I lost my truck, I lost interest in all of my hobbies, my shitty little house is a disaster, and the only thing keeping me alive at the moment are my dogs. I hate my life. I am genuinely fucking sick of living and while i am not suicidal I genuinely hope something kills me before I end up homeless or in jail.
I can't enjoy anything anymore and I'm basically just waiting to die.
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>>7947800
Thank you man
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>>7947935
Thanks for the reply. I will try the cafe part for sure.
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>>7939902
cheers, thank you for the edit
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>>7947962
Used to be my thing before I got depressed, it is max comfy. Just chilling, reading, listening to music, nobody expecting anything of or from you.


>>7947949
Literally me.

I lost everything, totally to even my fucking identity/personality, and I just drink and smoke and cope until death nowadays.
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>>7948058
Not that anon but I'm also in a new city rather isolated. Can't chill at a cafe on my own ever. I always feel like I must have a goal or reason for being there, like the cup of tea I'm having and end up drinking it quick to leave.
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>>7929629
There's a good chance I will never work on my dream projects (Indie GameDev, Novel Writing). I'm 32 and I moved out of my parent's house last year. If you're asking why I just say that it's pretty common here where I live, even I think I should've moved out way way earlier. Life/Family stuff got in the way, It's complicated and will tell you if you're interested.
Anyway, I got a programming job and a job as an IT assistant in a private hospital and I work most of the day, every day, 'till 7-9PM.

I try to work on my stuff later inthe night but I'm either really tired or I have to give attention to GF whom I'm currently living with.

Between work and the pressure around the "Making babies" phase of life, I'm currently worried sick about my dreams.

I'm not thinking that they could be striking successes, but I'd be content with at least releasing them in some form.
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My wife is extremely emotionally abusive. I have wanted to leave her for years. But I don't have the courage.
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>>7948501
that's one of the things that somehow lets me cope with the lack of a woman in my life. Just how fucked you can be if you pick the wrong one. And how sneaky they are.
I will pray for you, anon.
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Attended a funeral for the first time. Uncle never had kids (heart broken one too many times), so he always made a point of helping out and fulfilling the cool uncle role. He loved to travel, went scuba diving around the world, fishing in Alaska, encountering all kinds of really neat places and people due to his work.

Now he's gone, and outlined a few places he never got to checking off in his travels for us to have one last good time in his memory (he always planned a big vacation every few years, though usually domestic). This time it's international, with him leaving everything for us to make use of.

Pic related is Farafra, Egypt. The last point of our trip, starting in January-February.



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