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All are welcome here.

Previous: >>7929629
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There's a girl that frequents the same place I go to weekly that I've become infatuated with. We never really talked one on one, and all our interactions were within a group of other people. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met. She's always upbeat, positive, friendly. Whereas I am very shy and reserved, and every time I tried to muster up the courage to try and talk to her one on one my mind would bring me down, thinking up all the reasons why I'm not good enough for her and making me get mini-panic attacks. At least I managed to congratulate her with her birthday, but my mind makes me think that even that was awkward. Anyone got any advice?
Smalltalk is a great icebreaker. Remember, many people feel the way you're feeling. There's nothing wrong with being reserved. Shit, I'd ask her about the weather.
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I cannot rest my mind anymore.
I cannot espace the fact, that I want to drop a nuke on every single country in the world.
Not because of spite. Not because of edge. Not out of malice.
I just want this to end and finally let us restart.
Wondering how to be a good man.
me too anon
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I really really wanna have a nice, romantic sex with Sanna Marin
No, you don't. People are nice and fairly good whatever place you are at. It's the media, the arrogant rich, the religion and politicians that divide people and sic them against eachother. You wanna nuke the top rich assholes, religious freaks, politicians and media.
Yeah, hard to find a place where can't get along with people.
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I'm in love with one of coworkers and everyone thought she was single but she has a boyfriend. Beating myself up for thinking i had a chance
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Only what I have in my mind is an onion
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My job is shutting down, and I think I'm the only one who's not absolutely livid with upper management about it.

desu, I don't know why they're so pissed off when they can better use their time to update a resume and get a new job.
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I'm going to visit my in-laws and I'm nervous about it. I want to buy property, live in a yurt, and never contact anyone again.
>Post a wallpaper and say what's on your mind
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Ezln. Zapatista revolution
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I don't really know if what I'm seeing is schizophrenia, or actual spirits.
My wife says I'm not going crazy, I'm not showing signs of it.
But how do I know that her saying that isn't a hallucination itself?
Am I actually ripping out the throats of spirit leeches and predators when i astral project, or am I fooling myself?
Spirits aren't real, obviously, so I think you should probably talk to someone.
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Today smoked a bit of a weed before the gym, because I was feel upset without any reason.
While I was in my way to the city in the bus I was listening for some music and at some second I was really high and was about to start laughing really bad because I thought about something funny like anecdot or some remembrance of a funny picture.
While all this exciting things was happening some cute girl was look and smile at me lovely.
So things were going like that around 20 minutes or something like that.
While I leave this bus this girl was waving me, and I wave her back and also smile.
I think It was really romantic day of my kindava isolated life.
Exciting but no continue, its not bad, its fine, I really happy that small majestic things like that still sometimes happen with me.
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Welp I don't even know at this point. My mind is a mess and I cannot grasp even a single coherent thought. I am not longer distinguishing between paranoia and common sense, that causing situations when I trust it is the other that's telling me something about people or situations. I am still able to snap back from my delusions but it's becoming harder with each passing day. It doesn't help that most of my irl friends are normie women that behave in ways which I do not understand and It leads to huuuge misunderstandings. While they try to reassure me that I "cannot be not liked" I simply feel that they're either using me or making a cheap laugh out of me.
It's nice to have little spontaneous moments like that. Some of the best parts of life.
Tomorrow can be better than today.
But there's truth and consolation
And what I'm trying to say
Is that nobody ever had a rainbow, baby
Until he had the rain
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im a disordered retard and i fucking hate the way my brain works sometimes i just want to stab my head w a knife bc of how frustrating things can get and recently i started experiencing paranoia bc of ppl, they are so oversensitive to the point its disgusting and pathetic and bc of that i have to double check every word, every idea, every slang, every fucking shit before saying something so i dont "offend anyone" it gets so bad to the point i start smashing my head against a wall.
this wallpaper makes me feel calm desu
Think about the things you say to bring yourself down. If you analyze them logically, you'll find they're all bullshit.
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I obtained a new job with a nice raise and better benefits but I'm not sure I made the right choice, I'm only 24 but my university experience was riddled with withdrawls due to illness and I feel I can achieve more. A part of me thinks I should've left/stayed at my last job and gone back to school.
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20th birthday just passed a couple weeks ago, got kicked out of high school for shit grades and have been working on getting a GED. It hasn't been keeping me busy enough and I basically have no routine and never know what to do with myself most days besides go out for walks and work at my part time job. Nowadays I just have this looming cloud of stress that I can never seem to shake off.
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I cannot wait for this year to be over. I'm really not looking forward to the post-christmas blues. I've had more suicidal thoughts this month than I have in the past decade or so. I'm not even doing that badly in life compared to many others and I appreciate this, but I just don't feel like I can cope with even the smallest of hiccups. Everything has to be going smoothly at all times, otherwise I start freaking out and, of course, this is life so things hardly ever go smoothly and when they do it doesn't last long. I'm not sure what happened - I was coping really well up until about 2 months ago, then suddenly I feel like my brain shuts down if something feels 'too difficult' to deal with. I can barely juggle more than 1 or 2 tasks, I'm forgetting important dates, I'm struggling to communicate and listen to people, including the people I love and actually enjoy spending time with. I'm hoping the small break I get for christmas will help reset me ready for the new year.
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Around a few weeks ago I am living with knowledge that I grew up with untreated high-functioning autism.
I wish I was treated well, at least as other kids, and was never beat up by my dad in years.
I skipped the kindergarten because I was permanently crying when my mom wasn't near me. In elementary school, I started crying when my toy tiger was not next to me.
After some of the years my dad get me to the sport section and I never liked this one, whatever, but every time I performed badly during the training father beat me until I start bleeding and every time he said -" If you keep performing badly - you stop coming here, do you have no desire?" and every time when this was happened I beg to give me one more chance. Don't even ask why, I was feared and retarded. But, the strangest thing is when we left with the team in the summer to some other place at some point I started to sob, simply because I knew that my mother was not around, because of which my mother had to come every time so that I would not start cry. Although, one summer my father came and, as usual, he started to beat me because I whine and train poorly, and he spends money on this, as he said "vacation with the team". So I just forced my self to eat some nail that was laying on the street to skip this hell and get some rest at least during the month of the summer. Then I just keep repeating this for a years in lesser pain ways like falling and brooking hands, fingers and legs until I get 13-14 years, and we moved in other, much smaller region. Here was no professional sport places like the that place that I used to go. That was quite a relief because school wasn't hard compared to my last one. And the most of the kids were welcome to me. I was even had a kinda-close friend. So I grew up and shit get into uni for free, then drop it, and now I am neet for around 5 years, never talk to my dad for no good reason, and about to start receive autismbux. Might will buy my mom some presents or buy shit in ikea
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hope you get well, anon. I myself I'm in a very similar situation. The problems are getting a bit more serious and for the first time in ~7 yrs I'm seriously considering seeing a psychiatrist.
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desu its been a lot for me. me and my girlfriend just broke up and on top of an already deep depression that has been effecting my academics and not to mention my relationship within my family is going to shit and im starting to lose hope in finding happiness again.
Stuck in traffic on the I-75 outside Lexington.
Anybody getting a shitload of snow?
I'm here. She's here. Should I go for it?
Yeah, let's just hope it holds up for Christmas
people are dumb. dont try to understand them. also dont be a pussy and worry about offending them. but stop bashing your head on the wall.
I didn't go for it.
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im not good at anything that i want to be and i have no motivation to carry on. im like a broken machine, i can't fulfill my purpose. i have no reasons to live except guilt and fear of afterlife. im probably not gonna kill myself anytime soon but i know its my inevitable end. i wish i didn't feel like this. i want to live a good life and be happy. i really do.
So much time spent thinking and worrying about someone, to end up realizing they never really did give a shit about you
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Currently 25, somewhat fresh out the military for about 2 years. Have been unemployed since that time, and the time before the Army I was a 19/20 year old who didn't do anything of note in terms of work or knowing what I wanted to do in college, so I did it as a cop-out to get some sort of direction. It helped a bit, in terms of in the moment, but after the moment, I feel much of the same. I kind of just settled on doing comp sci shit / coding, or if I lose faith in that I can always use the VA-paid tuition assistance. But now I'm a NEET (currently looking for some customer service remote job) who lives in his parents house and it sucks. Well, relatively, its cozy, but the toxicity my mom tosses around really bothers me. She's miserable due to work stress and brings it home constantly. Even my father, who is ultra chill in comparison, is sick of hearing her yell about everything and even stood up for me when she would berate me verbally. The littlest things are somehow my fault or because of me in a way. It breeds nothing but resentment I have towards my mom, which is unfortunate, but a direct result of this. She doesn't seem to understand how depression can affect someone longer than a quick lapse. She also does the classic manipulation thing of buying me things to say "Look what I did for you" etc etc.

Just hoping I secure this job and save up money so I can move out and finally feel like I'm an adult with agency, and so I can fully focus on doing the coding thing or school if I wanted to.

Hope you all are doing well. Somehow, sometime, we are all gonna make it.
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I just want to think in a good way. See how amazing things really are and everything, but it's very difficult and many situations have led me away from that path.
I really want to be good at art, development and business, but my time seems to run faster. In the end, it's all a matter of choice. Will I do the things I need to do, or will I just procrastinate and die without knowing what it feels like to be good at something?
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I've got everything. Been with my girlfriend for a year tomorrow and we're genuinely in love. Just got a house. 6 months ago I got a good job in a field I spent 4 years studying for, and yesterday got a payrise and a hit a personal milestone of mine. Everything in my life is going great, but there's a deep rooted feeling in my mind that I can't shake, like an endless melancholia. I have no fucking idea why and how to get rid of it.
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You will not lose this feeling until you stop carrying, but If you stop carrying you will lose everything you have now and will not able to earn this again.
If you take this gray pill life might be a good, if your parents able to support you for a lifetime, but you should have enough strength to kill yourself someday.
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I miss being excited for things the way a child gets excited, particularly for Christmas. As soon as the decorations went up in the house, it felt like everything was different and magical. There was a palpable build up to Christmas that was so much fun to experience.
>Flipping through toy catalogues
>making a wishlist for santa
>school activities winding down
>being able to take your toys into school for the last week of the term
>wondering if we'll get any snow
>looking forward to opening the advent calendar each morning
>the glow of the christmas tree
>the intense anticipation on christmas eve knowing that you'll wake up in the morning to a stocking and presents
>leaving a mince pie out for santa and a carrot for the reindeer
>playing with the new toys on christmas day while dinner is being made
>the smell of christmas dinner cooking flowing through the house
>pulling crackers at the table
>getting to see your friends and sharing what you had from santa
>settling down in the evening and watching the Christmas films on TV
There's no way to recapture these feelings as an adult, but I do my best. Putting up the Chritsmas Tree still gives me a lot of joy, but I'll never have that sense of Christmas magically unfolding around me ever again. Just needed to get this nostalgia ramble off my chest. Hope you anons experience at least some kind of happiness this year, no matter how small.
Same. I'm 30 now but I was browsing 4 chan at 14 in the early 2000's. You can't recapture the childhood nostalgia but once in a blue moon. I think the best we can do is have children and give them those great memories. And try to find meaningful things to do as an adult. Help others. Create art. There is still joy to be had, You just have to know where to look.
Regret is worse than rejection anon, i know from experience
Go through with it next time
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I dont want to leave my country but its economy its gonna be bankrupt and I fear for my life staying here even though work would probably wont change much probably even improved substantially, im from El Salvador
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Currently at my 9-5 job and I have a business that i run on the side. Currently debating whether or not to quit the job now or after January. It's a big change and I'm a creature of habit. Very nervous and excited.
I love you all anons
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Leaving one job for another is a decision I would definitely take my time with. For me, any change usually causes much stress, hence I always delay it (which isn't really a positive) but sometimes this approach helps, as while I'm avoiding an issue, it sometimes takes care of itself. I worked 2 jobs for the last couple of months, because I didn't want to choose one over the other, but guess what, one of the companies I work for suddenly had restructuring, and some staff got laid off ( me included), so now I don't have to make the hard choice I guess.
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I acquired a bit of "softcore" brain damage a few months ago, but since it didnt visibly cripple me I've had no support in recovering. Nurses and GPs never found anything odd in bloodworks, and only recently suggested using antidepressants, even though general mood is no longer an issue yet a number of my senses and bodily functions are still fucked. They refuse to take me seriously when I say I cant feel hunger anymore (among other things) because hormones and things look fine, they just dont want to consider that maybe my brain has stopped receiving those signals (among others) properly. I've had no luck in getting an MRI referral to waive costs, and dont have the money to just get one because I'd lost my income and burned through all my savings in those first 3 months of instability and coping. I went to two different GPs early on but they didnt take me seriously then either, so there was nothing to prevent me from ruining my life and having to pick the pieces back up if I survived.

I kept getting sick as well in more recent times, thoughout the last month or so, and it was not until the 2nd hospitalisation a few days ago that they actually told me my sodium levels were low. They had found the same issue earlier, the last time I was admitted, nearly 2 weeks prior, yet didnt feel the need to disclose said issue so that I could work out the cause and correct it. So even more preventable braincell death happened from repeated hyponatremia/water intoxication, which has undone some of the recovery I've made from the original incident.

Even while I was in for phyiscal illness, they fucking bring in a psychiatrist, who got visibly confused when I was describing my sensory and behavioural changes from several months ago and in recent times. Do men ever get dismissed as mentally ill when being admitted for observable physical illness? I swear, free healthcare is nice and all until the docs just bullshit you around for bonus paychecks at the cost of your health.
Merry Christmas, pals. I hope you're spending it with someone you care about.
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I wish I could just leave it all and go live in a place like pic related.
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It has been over 4 years, why can't i move on?
That seems like an achievable dream. Stop wishing and make it happen.
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I want the resources and skills to build a physical community, a private town/city kinda thing
Happy Holidays!

Turning 30 this coming year, definitely not where I thought I would be in life, but things could always be worse.

I've just started a new, well-paying, job and am loving it thus far. My wife is happy, my children are happy. I complain a-lot, internally, but realize that life is going well.

2023 will be great for all of us!
Army Vet here, medically discharged in 2014 and honestly just found my 'path' last year. It takes time, my friend. Save as much as you can whilst with your parents, you won't find another situation where you can just pocket all of your income.

You're going to make it, 2023 is your year!
I had a breakthrough once I had kids, and it was that Christmas isn't magical; your parents/family members make it magical. It's up to you to do the same thing.

Once I was out on my own, I had the same feelings. Like, WTF is Christmas anyways? I'd get depressed that it wasn't the same as when I was a kid/teen. But after having children, and making it special for them, it all makes sense now.
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Because you're holding yourself back, obviously. Dwelling on the past utterly fucks your future.

You're better without them, focus on you and then get the fuck back out there! You've got this!
Me too bro, let's do it
Any New Year's resolutions?
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never been to a new years eve party. never been to any party other than childrens birthday parties as a kid, actually.
sitting alone in my apartment today. will go out and watch the fireworks tonight.
happy for you
yet another year where you continue the cycle because youre waiting for somebody to pull you out of it instead of doing something about it yourself
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I'm not waiting on anybody to do anything. And I'm not sure what I can do. I don't mind it most of the time, except certain times of the year like now where I feel lonely
It's a bittersweet feeling, knowing the costs for the kind I dream about would be 100s+ millions maybe 1+ billion in costs
Even besides the money is the getting the skilled people to physically build it
And of course the regulations and bureaucracy that make it illegal unless rural county or something
It isn't that expensive though. Cities, towns, communities, all those conform and have always conformed to the condition around them.
Sure, if you want to build a community inside the modern infrastructure, you will have to abide by regulations. And if you want to make modern houses, you will have to pay modern prices. But community building itself takes skill and time more than money.
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>It isn't that expensive though
I don't know about that. I know things are inflated massively and fiat currency is fiat currency but I want something that will last generations and be an example. And I want to use major earthworks and waterworks in and around it for things like big water diversion, storage, use, and treatment. Maybe some small silvopasture or similar within it's parks

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When you knew that it was over
You were suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair
Schizophrenia is getting really bad and the depression is too. I cry myself to sleep almost every night and just rot in my room all day. I think if I get worse and the schizo shit gets more frequent I'll probably kill myself. I wanna go back to therapy but it's very expensive since I live in a small town and don't have a lot of resources. Not sure what to do but it's looking like rope in maybe 6 ish months if not sooner. idk man, just wish I was born correct
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I have come to realize that the only thing that matters in life is experiencing it with other people, yet I still find myself unable to make meaningful connections with others. Recently I befriended two people for the first time in five years so I have felt less dejected, however it was while traveling. I got their details but it's obvious that it wasn't nearly as meaningful to them as it was to me. None of my friends from school carried into adult life and, being in my early 20s, I postponed university (dodged Covid at least) and got a certificate/solid-paying job. Life bounces between feeling alright and feeling nothing at all - the family I do have make me doubt whether that will ever change. Thankfully the things I experienced while solo-traveling showed me that my existence isn't totally invisible. I wonder if I should move away and go to university.
I know this sounds silly but how much water do you drink and do you take any vitamin d3? Try drinking a half gallon a day and take 5,000iu of vitamin d3(usually one pill) a day and see how you feel in a week,
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I'm glad that I wasn't a massive retard that took the clot shot!
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My future is in a massive amount of flux and it's terrifying yet exciting for me. I fear change but I know I can't keep going on this way. Something has to change or I'll go insane.
Spirits are real. Strengthen you heart through practice of loving feelings and gratitude. Develop your discernment.
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For the first time in my adult life, I am not obese. I am overweight but not obese. I am scared of going back to my old ways.
That's great, pal! Keep up the good work.
good for you! That's hard work
luv you too
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i think about girls with huge natural titties hanging down all saggy and shit.. like way too much.
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Tired. Gonna try get a hug this year. Would like to walk off into the woods and disappear, but someone owns the woods.
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My heart will be broken before the end of the night. And if it isn't I'll trust.
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If you're in New York, anon, I'll give you that hug. There are things worth sticking around for, friend
If you're in Ohio I'll give you a hug.
how'd it go?
Where is this
It wasn't. I feel alive. Thank you for asking actually.

Make it 2 in Ohio
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I got a Jew For Jesus coworker trying to convert me to his faggot religion
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Glad to hear it anon. I was in a similar spot but things turned around in April last year. Things will improve, brother.
I'm in Mercer County, fellow Ohio pal. Hope all is well.
stg i have the book that has this as a cover
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I think I'm stuck here

Sometimes I leave for a few weeks, months even... Then something happens and I find myself on a new board or in a new general and I spam my days away... It's addicting, it's going back to my friend group that understands me but is ultimately bad for me.
Rip the bandaid off and ask her out. You're keeping yourself humble to the point that success has become an impossibility in your mind. You so concern yourself with what could go wrong that you neglect what could go right.
It was special to you because Christmas was your parents job.
All thanks to your parents. Now you're grown and Christmas is your job. Tag, you're it, kiddo. You're Santa now.
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Lost pretty much my entire social life when a relationship fell apart at the beginning of December. I don't really know what to do / where to go. I feel like I have to start over. I want to call people and talk about things but no one is left. I think about these people everyday and trying to fill that void is new and hard.
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I have been watching documentaries in ESP and UFOs and the disclosure of information is not enough. Technology is a good alternative to politics, there need to be more hackers/makers working on the esoteric research and demonstrating it. The feds can't stop disclosure when people see a flying car in times square.
Same, anon. Even if I leave this place, where do I go?
How are you anons holding up?
You could just start your own place... with hookers, and blackjack...

>The feds can't stop disclosure when people see a flying car in times square.

Except what the feds would actually do is take the car off its owner (one way or another), then steal and classify all the patents and any other paperwork behind the technology that makes such a car possible, and then hide it all away for as long as they possibly can all while painting anyone who tries to publicly talk about such a vehicle and its 'theft by the government' as a conspiracy theorist nutjob.

And sadly that's not even hyperbole, the feds actually have previous documented form for this exact behaviour... and as a result it's now estimated that the world is at least 100 years behind where it should be at this point in terms of the advancement of technology and energy production/distribution methods.
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I usually only come here when im really down. Starting my final semester of college and nervous I wont be able to secure a job. Also my only friend ive kept in contact with after high school is moving multiple states away. I know I dont have it the worst in the world but im still upset
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I'm moving out of my childhood home tomorrow to live in an apartment with my fiance. It's not like I'll never see my family again but I know that I will never be as close to them as I am now. This feels like the end of Act 2 of my life and I'm not scared about what comes next, I just will miss the way things have always been.
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I lost friends and family last year. My girlfriend who I loved so much and had so many happy memories with started suffering from severe depression and showed signs of BPD that led to her snapping, lashing out at me, and breaking up with me in a very hurtful way. My desperation in trying to keep her with me and my inability to move on made this worse and I stopped taking care of myself. Things like showering, shaving, or even brushing my teeth became harder to do. I went into a spiral of depression that led to me to drink a lot. My performance at my job suffered. I started alienating people around me. My health got so fucked that I gained 25 pounds and some of my organs were starting to fall apart.

Recently, I began to turn my life around. I haven't thought of her for a bit. I'm working out again, finding new hobbies for me to enjoy, eating healthier, reaching out to friends and family, and really cut down on my drinking. For the first time in a few months, I think I can see the daylight. I know there is a long road ahead of me and I still have some deep anxiety and trust issues from last year but I feel calm now.
Gotta shut one door before another one can open. Happy for you. Exciting change! Godspeed, pal.
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been neeting for 2 years after i stopped taking meds. misdiagnosed twice for a personality disorder, meds completely numbed me, to a point it was really difficult adjusting after winding off. which lead to shutting myself in. anyway slowly getting back to work and gym. havent reconnected with friends, seems to be hard step for me. still thinking of finishing my degree but i find myself always throwing too many balls in the air, especially at the beginning and get angry when i don't accomplish everything. so im trying to be mindful, realistic and optimistic.
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going through the exact same thing as you anon. me and my ex ended things back in june due to their extreme bpd symptoms, they constantly snapped at me and were always extremely depressed, and it took a huge toll on my mental health and gave me really bad trust issues. recently ive cut back on my drug use and am finally getting back into my hobbies. hope you fully reach that light at the end of the tunnel.
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Whenever things are going well in life I start to think "things are going so well that means shits gonna hit the fan soon" I hope at some point I can keep a good thing going for a while but the impermanence of things is always shorter than I think its going to be.
Thanks and hope the same goes well for you too. It's funny how I always acted like personal shit like this wouldn't affect me but it really fucks with my everyday stuff. Just gotta chin up and bear with it.
That's all of life, pal. We can't stop that inevitably. But knowing we have such a short time can help us to make the most of the time we do have.
heavily relate to this. so many things I want to achieve and it seems overwhelming at times. we will make the right choice anon
Don’t let this crush become an obsession. She’s just a girl and it’s just a crush. Thinking beyond that will lead you into murky waters of self analysis, it sounds more like you need to get right with yourself before even talking comfortably, because if it is an obsession and she doesn’t reciprocate it will not end well for you or her.
This is literally the dumbest, weakest shit I have ever read. Misery loves company but you sir are a joke.
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Part of it might be fear that you will lose all that you have worked for, part of it might be resentment for the limitation that is inherent in mortal life (death, the arbitrary nature of our genetics and when/where we were born etc.), some of it may be a longing for something greater than yourself because you have now reached the pinnacle of what you believe that you can achieve in terms of creating an environment that will make you happy in life and yet it is insufficient. Not saying religion is the only way, but for me finding God and serving a purpose beyond my own happiness was what made that stop. If you are never going to give that a chance, at least try to shift your focus off of yourself and onto the service of others as much as you can. Congrats tho, I'm proud of what you have acheived
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I've been thinking a lot about learning guitar and buying a Schecter
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I've had my share of broken dreams
And more than a couple of falls
And in chasing what I thought were moonbeams
I have run into a couple of walls
But in looking back at the places I've been
At the changes that I've left behind
I just look at myself to find
I've learned the hard way every time

'Cause I've had my share of good intentions
And I've made my share of mistakes
And I've learned at times it's best to bend
'Cause if you don't, well those are the breaks
Should have listened to all the things I was told
But I was young and too proud at the time
Now I look at myself to find
I've learned the hard way every time

But in looking in back at the lessons I've learned
Or the mountains I wanted to climb
I just look at myself to find
I've learned the hard way every time

'Cause I've had my share of broken dreams
And more than a couple of falls
And in chasing what I thought were moonbeams
I have run into a couple of walls
But in looking back at the faces I've been
I would sure be the first one to say
When I look at myself today
Wouldn't have done it any other way
dodged a bullet, dating a coworker sucks.
Check your fucking carbon monoxide detector today. Carbon monoxide causes hallucinations.
>>7959219 (Me)
I still miss her. Fuck.
Losing weight and kicked drinking but it's still fucking with my emotional state.
some people who i have been close with have stopped communicating after seemingly no reason. im conteplating going fear and loathing a little bit and just not care about closeness anymore
Anyone got the OP photo from last thread? It was really nice but I forgot to save it.
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That kind of things doesn't really go away, especially if it was a long term relationship. My ex dropped me out of the blue very early 2019, and I'm still having trouble fully trusting my current partner of almost a year.
The trick isn't to forget her or to pretend it didn't happen, but to recognize it's the past, and she's worse off without you.
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Been stressed about a lot of things. Applying for jobs, talking and getting close with a really good friend, and let my insecurities get the better of me. We had been talking everyday, vcing and video calls, and it felt like we were really connecting. For some reason my brain was telling me something was off and she was getting bored of me. So I asked her if we were ok, and that turned into a whole shitshow because she thought I didn't trust her to tell me if something was wrong, which to me was the opposite of how I felt. I didn't trust myself to accurately asses the situation, and was hoping she could provide a little reassurance or who knows what. Either way things have been awkward since and I'm trying to regain her trust, but man it sucked to hear when she said I had been getting through to her, and that my attempts to woo her were working and she felt like I threw it all away. Can't seem to stop thinking about it and beating myself up over it.
Give her some time and if it all goes to shit, don't sweat it. I don't think what you said sounded offensive at all and if something small like this set her off, the relationship was going to be fucked anyways. I'm speaking from personal experience here.
Turning 30 soon. Am I an oldfag? Is it over?
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I've been...numb...lately. I don't necessarily want to die, but I don't necessarily want to keep going, either. I can't express what I want to say without either making people fear I'll want to off myself or being told "Others have had it worse, oh well"
My job sucks, I'm stagnating where I'm living but I can't leave because I can't afford it, and I feel stuck.
It feels like purgatory. At least if it were like hell I would have some solace in knowing that it's hell, but this? This is worse.
time for some radical changes, give into a few impulses or desires anon
I just dont know what to do... Anything and everything is so boring to me hanging out with people, going to the gym even video games. I just want to go home and sleep even though i already sleep more than 8 hours a day. But when i dont do anything i feel even worse and even when i find stuff that seems fun i get bored of it in a matter of days.
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I've been using prescription medication to get through medical school.
I'm not abusing them and I make sure I don't get addicted to them; God knows I've lived with one addict long enough to know that I don't need to bring that kind of pain to the people around me. It's just I know deep inside that I really wasn't meant for this field. I get debilitated by panic attacks everytime I see a patient. My mind goes blank and my memory just keeps getting worse and worse. How do I cope with this? I trick family doctors to prescribe me the medication regimen I designed for myself. I try out new medications to see if they're good enough to get me through each day. I convince myself, through enough medication, that maybe I'm not in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Currently, I'm failing.
my dad died a few weeks ago, his funeral was thursday. I flew back home for it, and met family and old friends. I pretended to be happy to see them, the truth is I wouldn't have cared if I didn't. The funeral was Thursday and even up until the coffin was taken away I thought he was pranking me. He wasn't. I flew home, went to work, today was my first day off and even with alcohol all I want to do is count the days until it's my turn to tap out. Not suicidal, just want to be like 70 and become free of this life.
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I fucking attached this wallpaper, but I guess like everything else it's shit
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I cant stop thinking that somehow im two different people. I have done the most unimaginable shit, and yet it feels like someone else lived it.

Mentally, I feel like ive died many times and mentally I feel reincarnated in a way. Like Someone else triumphed and learned all those lessons but was "killed" in the process of doing so. That someone being me.

Homelessness where I was straight up stabbing other homeless people for their food, war overseas seeing firsthand how destructive we as humans are and how easily-OK we are with killing one another, minor moments of getting in trouble or causing serious trouble etc...Yet in each of those events of my life, someone else with the knowledge to somehow handle them, handled them. I look back at myself and just keep asking "was that all truly me? Who was I?"

Now, I feel like all of its accumulated to where I feel like if I attempted or was forced into any of those situations again that I would collapse under their pressure. Its disheartening to feel that I have survived so much and yet feel I could never handle any of it again. It makes me scared...Of everything...I cant hold or have any interest in a single person. Like tonight a girl at the bar tried to teach me to swing dance whilst a little tipsy, and all I could think of was how fast can I get outta here to stop tolerating this useless person.

Thats society to me. Useless. In the way. Nonunderstanding. Yet I forget many others are human like me....It sucks...Especially so in the sense of when someone asks who YOU ARE, and you...you just dont know. Ive been "reborn" so many times that...I dont know who i am....
are you me?

General rule is quit for biz if it's 2x of job.
What gets you as an adult is the perpetual sameness of things.Same shopping malls, same fast food joins, same carparks, same routine, same people around you, same bullshit on tv and the internet, same same same same same. When I was a whippersnapper a parking lot seemed like an awesome place for hide and seek. Shopping malls were experiences of awe. Everything is amazing when you're a kid - not just Christmas (or at least it was for me anyway... maybe I was just a weird kid). I think a proper education simply shows people where to look for the excitement before we get used to everything else around us. But most of us had crap educations because the entire system was essentially a factory and if you're under the age of about 40 it was also corrupted by postmodernists and the like (okay, maybe an exaggeration but you get the idea). If you want to find wonder you simply need to know where to look, because it's hidden. This takes work to start off with because you need to reorient yourself and get off the wave of self-loathing and hedonism which most people are surfing. I think we perpetually, criminally underestimate our ability to do this. Not to the ability to *achieve* anything, but simply plumb the depths of experience and awe. Think of all the books you haven't read, all the things you don't know, all the experiences you haven't had, all the limits you haven't tested, all the ways of *being* you haven't tried out. And it can turn into a fountain. Why not? Don't expect anyone else to give a fuck though. It's just between you and God (or Nature or whatever). And fucking pay it back to others when you get older, because then you get to vicariously experience it all over again! That's what life's about. That's your new Christmas. Every day of the week, if you care to go after it. I'd tell you where to start, but it'd be empty and vain to attempt something like that in a short post like this. Besides, I need this pep talk just as much as anyone else.
Sorry to hear anon
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Wallpape which sums up how I feel
If I can give anyone a piece of unsolicited advice, it's to think things through. Do not become paralyzed by indecision, but neither should you act so impulsively as to not weigh the benefits and especially the drawbacks. Exercise caution without letting it dissolve into fear. As they say, sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.
Where is this from?
Spirited Away.
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idk maybe, not many people like what i like the way i like it. big fat boobs occupy my mind to some degree at all times. tits are my drug of choice, im addicted. i love everything about women with stupidly huge monster titties. I also love abbi and have all of her content. shes my ideal girl, with perfect giant natural saggers.
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There's a lot I can talk about. I'll begin saying that I love coming on here looking for wallpapers and seeing threads like this. I was looking for a purple wallpaper and got I wanted, so I'm happy for that. Also I've been listening to a lot of midwest emo, it's so good I can't believe I slept on it for so long.

There's this girl at my college that I have a slight crush on, she's everything you expect, beautiful, funny, charismatic, pretty easy to talk to and overall has a really nice vibe. I notice that she always looks at me when we're in a group and smiles. Last thursday we even got a photo together out of the blue. I might get her some chocolates for Valentine's Day. I know she's probably just being friendly tho, so I'll need to keep that in mind.
How are you anons doing?
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l'm 27 years old and still have no clear career path nor know what l want to do with my life. My passions aren't overly profitable. l have 2 AA degrees and haven't put them to use at all and have mostly lost interest in those 2 subjects. ls it over for me?
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I thought I would be happy with her. But instead I just find myself slowly and surely getting more and more unhappy with her. When she is gone it is like a breath of fresh air. She does everything except make me happy and damn how I wish that wasn't so.
there's always someone who has it worse, doesn't mean you can't feel bad about your own situation.
i wish you well man
I have a signed original Shepard Fairy of this guy.
What would be a good abbreviation for this general?

/woym/ - What's On Your Mind
/hyd/ - How're You Doing

I don't know. Not saying it necessarily needs an abbreviation. Would just be nice to number the threads like they do in IMT, VGG, etc. Suggestions?
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Rika Furude?
You've read too much Higurashi, son.
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Everything is going too well.
I'm afraid that good times will end soon, but I must enjoy it while it lasts.
do it
the hole that she digs for herself will be
twice as deep
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Whatcha thinking about

sounds like me
Any music moving you lately?
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i dont wanna work and im in that point in life where its time to doit.
coolest wallpaper ever. thanks anon

iirc I was at the museum this drawing was at. i stared at it and at another one that had the same style for an hour or so
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All in all I'm managing to move through life quite happily and not entirely isolated, but this thin membrane of autism has me constantly worried whenever I get the time to think of it that I'll never 100% get to enjoy the company of another person. I mean being social as an adult is tough enough but I just always get this dancing thought in the back of my mind thinking "you don't REALLY know this person and they don't really know you; and you probably wouldn't want them to because they wouldn't like seeing 100% of what you are" which is unfair because nobody would really want to show off their own entirety when they're aware of all their own flaws and I shouldn't count myself as any sort of exceptionally bad (I'm hardly evil or twisted just yet) but still the worry remains. I always block myself off from putting myself out there and seeing who'd want to be my friend or partner. I don't want to risk rejection in any capacity and I feel like a fool whenever I imagine how I could be worthy of company. I can enjoy friendships and yearn for loves so much but I won't ever fully commit to them because I have to see myself as a type of disposable, and thusly I won't get attached to them enough to avoid seeing them as disposable.
sweet jesus why is every post here just some variation of I MIZZ HER I MISS HER I MISZ HER
like god damn i realize this must be the zoomer board since I havent had the need for wallpapers in over 10 years but you faggots need to move on and get some PUSSY lmao
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>I just moved out of my parents that I was living with since the new year
>I got kicked out of my apartment as they turned the 'historical' city building into student apartments
>Ironically I now work for the University in helping in student applications (love the job)
>I didn't tell my parents while I was home a moment to say I was bisexual as they never spend time in the same room
>While it doesn't matter that much as I always lived seperate from my family, I feel these issues will just get worse the longer they linger
Sorry for your loss man
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Kind of on the same boat, active duty Air Force just starting out my contract, I miss my friends and home alot and where I'm being assigned isn't the most exciting location but I still have 0 clue what I want to do in life and I know that military life after my contract isn't really for me. I'm learning marketable skills atleast but it isn't my passion
Lately I can't help but feel that everything is coming to an end.
i was in a similar situation, brother. i grew too comfortable and stopped being a good partner on account of my melancholia, and she left me.

try to meditate on how you'd feel if you lost some of your things. it would have helped me tremendously. gl
Me too. I'd like to live like the amish but without the whole cult aspect.
Good for you. I had 2 shots and felt like shit after each one. Still caught covid not long after.
I want to spend the night with you. I want to hold you, kiss you, be with you in every way a man can be with a woman. I want one night where neither of us have any cares in the world, a night where we can both let our walls down and just be vulnerable to one another. That's what I want. That's what I think about, what I dream about, and what I've been thinking about nonstop for years. I know I can't have that. I just want to taste it. I want to turn back time.
Anime Space Girl Blonde DAY.
Anime Space Girl Blonde NIGHT.
These 2 Wallpapers are IDEAL to make 'Wallpaper SlideShow'.
1 - Put in a subdirectory 'C:\Windows\Web\Wallpaper\Wallaper Slideshow': 11 Images of DAY, and then 13 Images of NIGHT, in SEQUENTIAL form.
2 - Image Position: FILL.
3 - Change Image every: 1 hour.
4 - Choose to Set the 'Wallpaper SlideShow' at 08:00 EXACT hours.
And enjoy.
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I just want to play vidya all day and never have to work, cook or clean.
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I'd like to live close to the beach but not live in the city. Maybe live in a medium sized town close to the sea, I wanna see palm trees and go to the docks and feed little squid in the water.
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A few years ago, this board was almost all positivity. Recently, it had started getting infected with all the bullshit from the other boards. I'm happy to see that it's come back around to being the comfiest board on 4chan. Love u guys
If these threads help even one anon somehow, I will keep making them forever. Glad you posted. Love you, pal.
How's everything going?
Still don't know if I should tell her everything or sit on it forever.
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I almost didn't, and we've been together for a year now. You might get bad results if you do, but you'll always regret it if you don't.
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I've never once wanted things to get better. I just want things to end.
I'm at my wits end, my only friend moved overseas a few years ago, I've been diagnosed with epilepsy after having multiple seizures and my drivers licence has been revoked, I'm unemployed and nobody even has the decency to reject my job applications they just ghost me, I'm not eligible for government assistance for some unknown reason so I can't get the dole, I have an appointment with my neurologist and psychiatrist next month to get them to write letters and give me my medical files so I can apply for disability which I apparently have more than the 20 points needed to qualify, I don't know what I'll do if I get rejected for that too, I need to be able to support myself, and more than that I need to be able to support my friend who is constantly being fucked over by the corrupt police and government while just trying to make a living in her new home, and has had multiple break-ins in said home.
Have a comfy cyberpunk screenshot.
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Being too depressed and fucked up to be loved doesn't make you want love any less. I get it though. I do get it.
full sized image
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hope all goes well friend
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i just lost my steam account worth abt 100$ and i feel useless and aimless, just playing cs 1.6 and wanting to kill myself.

getz is king
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Thank you friend, appreciate that a lot
It's complicated but I appreciate the response. Hope you and yours are doing well.
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Working a bullshit job since January now. Feeling depressed, like I don't belong here. Doing this to get my master degree. But I don't like what I'm doing, it's a complete desillusion. I just want to earn enough money and get the hell out on some island like Hawai or Tahiti and spend some time their just enjoying life. Fuck France and fuck Paris. It's a shithole here.
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I think Confucius said something similar to this quote
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Necro bbut nonetheless; You should pick up an instrument and practice playing it, I find that music oriented people are thoughtful and sentimental, well at least some of them are.
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I've been forcing my life to get better, and now it is
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Sometimes I like to eat ecstasy and set up a gladiator arena in my yard. I make kittens fight puppies, to the death. I dress up like Cesar and cheer them on. I eat the winner. Don't worry, they're rescue animals. I have a heart. Actually, I have 2. One belonged to my neighbor. His dog peed on my tree. I keep it in a jar out front to remind the others.
Was this supposed to be funny?

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