>faster than any man>solid boulder of muscle>unhuntable meat tanks, no claws or teeth can get through their natural armor>seriously, they can just walk through an attack by a pride of lions>catch 500 human bodies a year, the ultimate apex predator of the world can't do shit>their babies use crocodiles as chew toys>brutally kill anything that even mildly annoys them>only elephants and rhinos can even hope to challenge them>do it all while a herbivore, making carnicucks seetheEvery day I'm in awe of these fucking MONSTERSIf a hippo charged at me I'd probably just fucking kneel
What can a hippo actually do though? If you hug its hind legs it can't reach you with its mouth, and its too sluggish to get away while you repeatedly pommel it from behind. If you stand to the side of its hind legs then it won't even be able to hit you with a back kick. If it raises its leg to perform a stomp then all you have to do is back off until it finishes its slam, then move back in to continue punching.
>>4789045What would your punches do? Even if your silly Dark Souls strategy worked, you'd just gas yourself out and piss the colossal killing machine off even moreand besides, they're not nearly as sluggish as you think
>>4789049Fuckin kek lioness cucks DESTROYED
>>4789045>yeah dude just arm-lasso the hippos legs and then slap it with your third hand until it dies
>>4789037>do it all while a herbivore, making carnicucks seetheThey're rather omnivorous, hippos eat carrion and sometimes live animals, definitely more so than rhinos or elephants do.
>>4789037>>faster than any manHow fast do they run?
>>4789049>>4789148Lurk moar
Test
>>4789049Funny how it tries to walk away calmly like it didn't do anything
Gonna have to give you a smack on the bum if you don't quit it with that egotistical shtick mate.
>>4789037>>4789049HerbivoreCHADS we are undefeated
>>4789251
>>4789037based
>>4789366Wtf I wish I could do that
>>4789366Japs learnt to do that as well, convergent evolution
>>4789037>only elephants and rhinos can even hope to challenge themMaybe it's a close fight for rhinos but hippos pose as much threat to an elephant as any other land mammal.
>>4789037If they lived in a European or central Asian country they would have been hunted to extinction.
>>4789448>Yo dawg you got any more of that hippopottapussy dust?
they're also cute
>>4789232Somehow everytime this copypasta is posted there's a shitton of newfags falling for it
*brutally kills u*
>>4789518what an athlete
>>4789512They are.
>>4789338Kek
>>4789521>jaws remake only with angry hippokino
HIPPOS BE RAYCIST AN SHIET
>>4789557Hippos are african, it's black on black violence
>>4789366Stop posting this>>4789423I don’t think that’s true
>>4789448Correct. Hippos struck gold being able to develop alongside the people of sub-Saharan Africa of all populations
>>4789521Very scary how fast they can swim, i though that little wake was it but was a few feet ahead actually >>4789557That’s why we love them :)
>>4789793>Very scary how fast they can swimthey cannot swim at all. they run on the bottom of the water and jump up to the surface to take air. hippos drown in deep enough water.
>>4789448>>4789783Hippos used to live in Europe, including the very species of hippo found across Africa. Europeans don't deserve hippos and their beauty, they'd probably rape one.
>>4790620The difference between Africans is Europeans is only Europeans would have the capacity to rape a hippo.
>>4790620Now Africans can be raped by them instead. Everyone wins :)
>>4790620>hippos>beautiful
>>4790713Strength is beautiful
>>4790620NTA but that anon is correct. Part of the reason that most megafauna are extinct except for African ones is that the African megafauna evolved alongside humans, so they know what to expect from us and how to survive us. megafauna that were living outside of Africa were basically living their lives happily until a bunch of psychotic murderhobos that they aren't adapted to and don't know anything about showed up and started killing them.
Hippos are the cutest aminal
>>4791147such is the way of life…
>>4791277>if this hippo felt like it it could close its mouth and it would be lights out for him nerve wracking
>>4789045>Heh, I got into your blindspot. Time to go all out, HIYAAAH!!!>0 dmg 0 dmg 0 dmg
>>4791304lioness humiliation on this board is something
>>4789037>UnhuntableYou know if humans wanted to they could make hippos go extinct in a month.
>>4789045bury you in poop
Uh hippobros... Our response?
>>4791304>continues attacking the car while completely ignoring the lions trying to eat itAbsolutely hellacious creatures
>>4791745Rhino is a good counter for hippo confirmed.
>>4789221>t. seething carnicuck
>>4791648God that is disgusting, there's carcasses in there.
Hippo footage always just makes me think of how fucking horrifying Hell pigs must have been
>>4792312If hellpigs still existed they'd be a delicacy in China and I'm not gonna lie I'd try it with some hoisin sauce or something.
>>4792312Did they behave the same way as regular boars? Regardless hippos seem bigger so they’re still probably worse
>>4789515I blame reddit
>>4792368There's no way to know that, they have been dead for millions of years
>>4791648Why is there a random dead hippo in the middle?
>>4789045Accurate, I kill one or two a year this way. There are lots of other ways to take one down pretty easy, for example, you can throw a small bicycle into their mouth when they open it up all the way, then wait for them to die of peritonitis. They're not actually that hard to beat.
>>4791304To be fair, that's one of the girl lions, so her jaws are more evolved for sucking male lion dick than hunting.
>>4792368Hell pigs were actually more closely related to hippos, as ironic as that sounds.
>builds a dam upriver
>>4789446>it's a close fight for animals that elephants murder for fun but not for elephants themselves
>>4793996He didn't listen to the warning proots
>>4789045>and its too sluggish to get away>hug its hind legsThat would be akin to a toddler holding onto your legs. Do you think you would be immobilized? Well you would. Actual men could just walk as if the toddler wasn't there.
>>4789446No, they don’t, elephants casually bully both rhinos and hippos whenever they feel like it lol>>4793995I’m sure there could be some kind of genetic funkery that could reveal it but we just don’t have it yet
>>4794185>19 mphI thought they were much faster than that, 19 mph isn't much faster than a fit human can run. Pic related
>>4793995>There's no way to know that, they have been dead for millions of yearsbut the healing toothmarks on their skulls consistent with another entelodont biting them tells us they were aggressive as fuck.
>>4794185Lurk moar
>>4794193Did it not hit them? Or was it too small to do anything? Looks like it collided with them head on
>>4794383I thought it just tried to chomp them from behind as they zoomed away.
>>4793996He took the vax.
>>4791787>>4791745The power rankings are elephants>>>rhinos>hippos>every other animal on land
