you seem overly invested for this being labeled a casual relationship. i think you should chill out and take a step back because forcing the issue like you're attempting to definitely isn't going to get you the results you want.

>>31188154
forcing the issue? what do you mean? even if its a casual relationship, respect and communication should still be expected. just because its casual doesnt mean that you can ignore the other person or treat them with disrespect. using your logick, you could say its okay that a toxic boss is abusive because "its just a job its not like you are married, lol" do you see the flaw in this thinking? if she wants me around, what i am asking is a bare minimum of communication and respect, sorry you dont respect yourself enough to see it that way, i believe that all relationships should be respectful, whether they are casual or serious, sexual or not. if you dont respect me, leave me alone. you dont get to walk all over me because "semantic argument, not serious, lol, its just a meme bro." sorry i wont tolerate being treated like dirt just because i get breadcrumbed every once in a while and then my brains get fucked out when i threaten to leave, would rather be sexless than getting sex and disrespect at the same time. a text reply is not a big ask at all.

>>31188114
Damn that sounds all very complicated and unnecessary, especially since you two aren't even exclusive or official. Seriously, just give it up and ignore her, work on yourself and get better standards, or at least decide what you actually want. If I had my fuck-thing side piece stressing this much I'd block their number, which is what you should both do to one another.

>>31188195
i have been patient with her because she didnt want me to leave. i clearly stated i needed better communication from her and she said she could do it. its not my fault she doesnt value me enough to respect that or me. just because some people are aloof and pretend they dont have emotions doesnt mean that should be the standard for all relationships. she could take 10 seconds to reply to the text, and i have been stoic as fuck about this whole thing for a long time, so please dont imply im too emotional or "unnecessarily stressed" or some other such nonsense. people have emotions, the sociopaths and cluster b's are the exception to the rule, not the standard by which to judge everyone

>>31188185
yeah, do you also sound like this when you're explaining yourself to her? because you're coming across as big angry about this when it in fact is not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be since you're in a casual relationship. you don't get exclusive access to her or her time because you haven't locked it down yet or made her your gf. if you had, then you'd have an argument.

forcing the issue by making a big production of "hey we need to talk" is only going to push her away because the whole point of casual relationships is to avoid this exact type of drama.

>>31188224
all i said was "hey can you come over soon? i need to see you and talk with you."

there is nothing wrong with having needs and communicating them. no matter how many times you repeat this, it doesn't change the fact that healthy relationships require communicating your needs and boundaries. the idea that communicating = drama is fucking ridiculous

>>31188216
>so please dont imply im too emotional or "unnecessarily stressed"
Yeah so the thing is, what you're asking for, expecting, whatever, are things that happen with a relationship. Maybe she's just as confused as you are, but "casual" is supposed to be...well, casual. Easy going. Fun. Not stressful. You don't commit, you can't really expect all of this care for your feelings, or boundaries, and you definitely shouldn't be so upset about it since it's supposedly just a "casual" thing. Sounds to me like either you want to date her but have cold feet or she won't commit because she's not over her ex.

This "somewhere in between maybe we are maybe we're not" shit is the cause of your issues, not her, or lack of respect for your boundaries. I don't know if it's you leaving her on the hook or vice versa, or if you're just both retarded and young, but really, none of this is healthy, and it's pretty stupid if you ask me. Shit or get off the pot.

>>31188254
right, you're attempting to "serious" this relationship up instead of keeping it fun and casual as originally established and now you're butthurt she's not playing by your rules. but you changed them in the middle of the game! don't be surprised if you end up getting completely ghosted.

>>31188268
i already stated in the OP that i tried to end the relationship and she protested, did you fail to read that part? we are in the phase of "ok im giving you one more chance but i need better communication" and she agreed to that. you trying to pretend its my fault is just you projecting your own insecurities to get your jollies off, its not advice, and its not helpful

>>31188284
i didnt change the rules, we have had great communication up until three weeks ago. i communicated this to her, and let her know a condition of me being in her life, as she stated she wanted, was she has to communicate better, and she stated she could, so the question in the OP is, should i cut her off, im not asking you to make commentary about my approach in the relationship im asking about handling boundary violations. you stating i shouldnt have boundaries or needs because muh casual is just you avoiding addressing the actual reason for my post.

>>31188286
>i already stated in the OP that i tried to end the relationship and she protested,
"Hey this isn't doing it for me so it's over"
"no"
"oh, okay :)"
Like, so what if she did? It takes two to tango partner, and ultimately it is your choice to keep it going or not. You chose to keep it going, despite you clearly wanting more than she's willing to give right now. My guess is, from experience, you retards will keep going back and forth, pussy-footing around the issue until she either goes back to her ex or finds someone she actually wants to properly date, and you'll be left with your dick in your hand like a chump. Yall are FWBs bro, nothing more, and the more stress and expectations you add to the situation, the sooner it's going to end. By all means though, make your mistakes, it's no sweat off my sack.

>>31188286
>>31188298
my guy, two people have told you what's happening here. if you want to ignore sound advice because you think we're trolling you, that's on you. setting boundaries when you're in a casual relationship is also lol af. what gives you the right? you're not exclusive.

it honestly sounds like you can't handle the casual part. This is why I suggested you're overly invested in this situation. I think you should cut it off altogether because you're not going to get what you want out of this woman with the approach that you're dead set on.

>>31188351
>you dont have the right to boundaries
holy fuck, lmao. the reality is you cant handle answering a basic question about boundaries

>>31188324
i provided her conditions that she agreed to. not my fault she cant follow through with what she agreed to do, and there is no problem in giving people second chances.

>you choose to keep it going
the whole premise of this OP is whether to end it if she violates this boundary, a question neither of you have even bothered to address, but you both have simply attacked me for having needs and setting boundaries, without even having a clue about the relationship and the complicated things that have transpired. i could have left the casual part out and you guys would have had no material to riff off of. i honestly feel sorry for you guys for needing to attack a stranger online due to your own insecurities. your lives must be miserable

>>31188493
>attacked me for having needs
what are your needs? being a cuck?

>>31188493
Dude, me and >>31188351 have kept it real with you, and on a site filled with bait and hate, that's rare. You got your answer along with telling you our opinions on what you're doing and why it's dumb. If you don't like that, then Merry Christmas and go fuck yourself. I really hope your still a teenager, because that kind of complicated "ummm, maybe we're together, idk" bullshit is for kids, and if not you should have outgrown this emotional immaturity by now. If she's stupid enough to deal with your tantrums in a supposedly "casual" relationship, then you should ask her to dare, because you deserve each other.

>>31188493
i feel sorry for you for being too fucking dense to look at this situation objectively and i think you felt the need to include the casual part because you know your ask is different from an exclusive relationship. it's okay though: i've been in your position before and know exactly how it ends. good luck continuing to pressure her about boundaries while in a casual relationship. i'm sure your situation is completely different and it'll work out exactly how you intend it to.

>>31188518
>she protested and said she is not ignoring me just been messing with her abusive ex bf again, and she is going to therapy to try to break the trauma bond.
yeah, i gave her a chance. your point of view is irrelevant, since you chose not to give advice but instead chose to use this platform to shit on someone online you know nothing about. you wouldnt dare act this shitty in real life but hiding behind your screen its easy for you to pretend you know everything, like i said i feel bad for you

>>31188563
you sound emotional, try taking some meds

>>31188563
buddy, if you were a stranger on a bar stool next to us lamenting about this "problem", i guarantee me and >>31188540 would be telling you the exact same thing.

>>31188540
i never stated we "might be together" and communication and boundaries are a base line for all healthy relationships, whether you want to believe it or not. your semantic argument about "muh casual" is irrelevant

>>31188543
again, i feel sorry for you. you lack any kind of empathy or flexibility in your approach, yet you feel entitled to give people advice. laughable. and ending a relationship with someone who does not respect you is a positive outcome, shunting aside my own needs and boundaries in order to "keep the casual sex going" would be a worse outcome for my own mental well-being. it was great having the sex, but even casual relationships should be healthy, if you don't agree with that, more power to you, i wont judge you but when you attempt to say im wrong for having boundaries ill just remind you you dont know what you are talking about

>>31188574
>muh emotions bad
ok, sociopath

>>31188600
and i would respond the same way. it is a problem when a person doesnt respect you, but wants you to stay in their life, even after you clearly communicated you need better communication and they agreed to it. its about having self respect dude. some guys think "sex good you complain you bad," but if that person does not respect you enough to have proper communication, it isnt worth it. i have more self respect than that.

>>31188614
>>muh emotions bad
no, you sound like a girl. no wonder she's ditching you to go bone her sociopath motorcycle gang ex bf after being around a pussy all day long

>>31188602
You're trying to act like the fact that it's casual doesn't matter, but your expectations and demands don't align with a casual relationship. If you want that kind of control, and especially if you want to get so attached to her, you need to make it official and exclusive, otherwise yeah, your boundaries don't matter and she owes you nothing, so you shouldn't expect anything. A casual relationship is you doing your thing, her doing her thing, and if that's not cool with either of you then no sweat, no hurt feelings, just end it.

The funniest part of all of this is that I know exactly how this is going to end for you, and it's not going to be fun. 50/50 you end up feeling cucked and come on here Sneeding about it because you made the mistake of getting too attached. Oh well, if you won't learn from us then you'll learn from the best teacher: consequences. Good luck bud.

>>31188639
watch as OP digs himself deeper into looking like a pussy when he replies to this

>>31188602
>>31188614
precisely zero people have told you to keep this farce of a relationship going in order to continue your casual sex streak. if you had any self respect like you claim, you would have cut if off immediately. that's the whole fucking point of CASUAL. you've clearly caught feelings, it happens. make her your exclusive girlfriend and get her answer about it or tread water forever in this "will she/won't she" bullshit.

>>31188114
Damn, read the whole thread. This was the most thorough dissection of an OP's delusion that I've seen in a minute. Nigga got buck broken.

>>31188114
>how to deal with boundary violations when those boundaries have been communicated to the other person and they have agreed to uphold them?
Cut off from your life.
>should i cut her off after today if i get no reply?
Yes.
should i let her know this is a violation and give her one more chance and then cut her off?
You are not responsible for the well-being of others.
>seems so weird i try to leave and she gets upset and fucks me for two days straight but cant communicate?
Trying to explain the behavior of others is not something you should do, they are their own responsible human beings, they should explain their perspective, you yours and attempt a common ground, if none is found, then none shall it be.
>i dont get it
Neither do you need to, if it's a curiosity of yours then explore the depths of human psychology, game theory and the multitude of variables contained within the game we call romance, but you will never understand a person fully, ever. You'll spend your life trying to completely understand someone, maybe at some point you'll do and then one simple change in one minor variable changes and they do something completely unexpected, diplomacy is based on rules and regulations.
Even in this "conversation" we're having, I vouch for my honest, you vouch for yours, if one of us starts being dishonest then our next best action is to drop the interest and move on, not to try and formulate the perfect silhouette of the other just so we can arrive at a conclusion of what to do with eachother.

1/2

>>31188114
>>31188185
>>31188919

>>31188185
>respect and communication should still be expected
Correct, but it's not a given, most people haven't learned these values. It's your prerogative whether you swallow it up or move on.
>you could say its okay that a toxic boss is abusive because...
It's not okay, but neither are you in control of their behavior, the same advice applies, move on, find a better job.

Most people who ask for "common sense" or "bare minimum" are actually asking for an idealized world. It doesn't exist and people will act however they see fit in their own minds, they haven't made the same logical or moral connections as you did, doesn't mean they should be immediately forgiven, but what's under your control is your exposure to their bullshit.
People in this thread have attacked this very flaw in your argument, I understand there's a spectrum of value you're attributing to this person, it's not either completely casual and meaningless or meaningful and completely invested, but there's a differentiation of what some of us think casual means and you.

How about you describe to us your specifics, tells us how important this person is to you, why are you so attached to these interactions with her and why are you so curious to her "abnormal behavior"?
Until then my personal advice remains unequivocally, drop the gig, she doesn't care about you, at a first glance she seems to have a low self-esteem which leads to doubting oneself regarding mating and romance which is why she is afraid of losing your interest completely but at the same time acts unresponsive to your needs, her needs come first and her need is that guy's cock, not yours.
You've dodged a bullet, count your blessings that you have no other ties to this woman, hopefully.
And yes, I do mean impregnation by the way.
2/2

>>31188647
boundaries matter no matter what degree the relationship is, to suggest otherwise is ignorance, plain and simple. giving people a pass for shit behavior is shit and i wont tolerate it

>>31188919
>>31188956
thanks for answering the question. i also appreciate the detailed elaboration that you apply. thank you for your input. her tubes are tied so she cannot get pregnant, so i enjoyed busting many times inside of her, but the emotional turmoil is not worth it anymore. i asked her to stop ignoring me and she seems to be blatantly ignoring me again today, so i think its time to end it. she claimed she could improve her communication, and she seems to be up to her same old bullshit behavior. i am just going to focus on myself. yes it kind of sucks to think i might lose that pussy, because she is a great fuck, but i cannot stand the mind games and poor behavior.

as far as why i am attached to her, well, attachment is a natural by product of intimate relations, unless your attachment system is broken. so after about a month or so of fucking i started to get attached to her. she also told me multiple times she loved me in the relationship, but her behavior is too painful for me to endure. she says she is trying to leave the abusive ex, and many people in her life are trying to encourage her to stop going back to him but she keeps going back. i am educated on abusive relationships, so i understand how difficult it is, and i was willing to work with her and be patient but if she treats me like im not even worthy of a text reply, then i dont see the benefit of me to continue moving forward with her, since she will not respect me.

>>31188298
>let her know a condition of me being in her life,
as a dick appointment
>>31188114
>otherwise i wont be part of her life,
as a dick appointment
> i dont get it.
you are a dick appointment
>>31188185
>if she wants me around,
for dick appointments
>>31188216
>she didnt want me to leave.
Because you are her dick appointment
>pretend they dont have emotions
for dick appointments?
>>31188254
>i need to see you and talk with you."
about a future dick appointment?
>>31188493
>the complicated things that have transpired
dick appointments usually aren't complicated
>>31188614
>wants you to stay in their life
as a dick appointment
>i have more self respect than that.
you are a dick appointment

Hope that clears it up. In case you're confused, men call them "booty calls".

>>31189171
cool, i wont have emotions anymore or communicate with women anymore. ill just be the dick appointment and not get attached to avoid any trouble.

>>31189190
Brutal, but try listening to advice sooner, also. Good luck.

>>31189146
Lmfao this guy
>>31188919
>>31188956
took two posts to tell you exactly the same thing everyone else in the thread has told you already.

>after about a month or so of fucking i started to get attached to her. she also told me multiple times she loved me in the relationship,

why didn't you lock it down then? why didn't you make her your girlfriend and become exclusive? this whole exchange is some really good self-ownage on your part and i'm thoroughly entertained.

>>31189146
>as far as why i am attached to her, well, attachment is a natural by product of intimate relations
Not for dick appointments
>so after about a month or so of fucking i started to get attached to her
that's a shame, because this was only about dick appointments
>boundaries matter no matter what degree the relationship is,
for dick appointments, the boundaries are usually quite low
>she also told me multiple times she loved me in the relationship, but her behavior is too painful for me to endure.
you caught feelings and she lied, you were a retard for confusing dick appointments for love
>she says she is trying to leave the abusive ex,
>trying
you are also a retard for getting with someone who is only "trying" to leave their ex, and not "did", so it's your fault for even agreeing to dick appointments
>i was willing to work with her and be patient
be patient for what, future dick appointments? because that's all you were and agreed to be
>then i dont see the benefit of me to continue moving forward with her
well, if you stick around maybe you'll be called for more dick appointments, because that's all you were and all she wanted from you.

In case you haven't caught on, you two were together for only one reason. Can you guess what it was? :)

>>31189204
i tried to commit to her and she would not do it im not going to give anymore details since this threads is just shitting on me. im going to become the "spreadsheet guy" women are just a number/commodity to be used, i will learn to manipulate them, im tired of being walked on, im going to become the "abusive guy" who gets puss and doesnt have to deal with disrespect

>>31189224
sure, but just because its casual sex doesnt mean bare bones communication shouldnt be part of the equation. the idea that casual sex means disrespect is on the table is asinine, but apparently thats the modern game, so i can play it better and i will i dont give a fuck anymore

>>31189228
>threads is just shitting on me
Stop being emotional

>>31189228
good lord you are an emotional whiny baby. i'm glad she chose not to commit because you sound like you'd make for a terribly clingy and insecure partner.

>>31189236
You caught feelings, it was no longer casual for her. She didn't. Read the room next time.

>>31189236
Rule number 1 of "casual" FWBs is to not catch emotions, and to back off if you do but don't want to commit. Also, emphasis of "casual", which all of that stress and bother, isn't. She wasn't your girlfriend, and FWBs are more about the Benefits than even the Friends part, so you can't expect even that, and shouldn't. What you can expect is sex, and...that's about it. What you shouldn't be doing is getting upset, because that means you have too many feelings for what is, ultimately, a dick appointment. Like I said in a prior reply, the nature of what you agreed to is you doing your thing, her doing hers, and if that doesn't work for either of you, no harm no foul no tears, just end it, because it was nothing more than a dick appointment. Hope you've learned a valuable lesson about boundaries, and how they work depending upon the type of relationship you've actually agreed to.

>>31189254
>longer casual for her
for you*. She has BPD because of her "trauma" so was willing to lie to you.

>>31189258
yea. thank you for being the only person willing to be somewhat sympathetic and not just shitting on the victim. she told me she was "depressed" at the end of february, and needed space. i wont go into more details because this thread is not safe for being open because there are predators in here, but she came back to me and blameshifted, gaslighted, and straight up lied. after that, she lovebombed the shit out of me for a week, telling me she loved me constantly calling me baby texting me all the time. she manipulated the shit out of me. i learned my lesson trust me.

>>31189228
>learn to manipulate them
>folds when he tries to set boundaries
Learn to stick to your convictions or you’re just gonna be looked at as a bitch no matter how much pussy you get.

>>31189278
You should've opened the thread with that information, this would've been way easier. I doubt anyone was predating on you here, it's just tough love. Even if she "loved" you, we care about you more than she ever did, and we've never even met you.

>>31189278
At no point did you ask, "so if that's the case, let's be official"? And when she refused to be official, but you still had feelings, you didn't break it off? Buddy, you're not a victim, you're a fool, know the difference. That's not even shitting on you, that's the truth. If you actually had the self-respect you said you do, you would have said "oh, that sucks but yeah, I caught feelings so let's stop this since I can't let it just be about dick appointments anymore". That would have been the mature, responsible, self-respecting thing to do. You quite literally played yourself, and if you don't want to make this mistake in the future you need to understand that.

>>31189301
He got played by a BPD girl. Many such cases. Hopefully he can find an actual nice girl, but after the dopamine rush of a BPD fling, he might find it boring at first.

>>31189301
you are assuming that her behavior was always on the up and up, which it wasnt. she has been highly manipulative towards me. did i learn my lesson? yes of course i did, but i took her at her word, which was obviously a mistake. i have grown from this relationship and will set better boundaries in the future. when you are dealing with a manipulator, you can have perfect conduct, or less than perfect, it does not matter since you are dealing with someone who is not playing in good faith

>>31189292
i assumed i could leave it at a boundary discussion rather than going into all of her poor behaviors. i assumed wrong. i was hoping i would just get basic responses like "yeah hold your boundaries," or "give her one more chance after that its over." i agree that i do need to set stronger boundaries and put the woman through more testing, but this bitch clearly has lots of issues. silent treatments, blame shifting, gaslighting, not taking accountability, etcetera. so i have been trying to navigate this dynamic with my limited resources. do i need to be smarter in the future, yeah sure, but i didnt know i was dealing with someone who is fundamentally broken and not playing fair

>>31189324
You need to look inward and find out why she was able to get into your head. Don't merely tell yourself you won't be manipulated next time, fix the flaws that made it possible.

>>31189337
already doing it. in therapy to work on my low self esteem poor boundaries and harsh inner critic. thanks for the input. im going to be single now and work on being healthy. im going to let the pussy go because she broke my boundary for the last time. im sad to lose the good puss, but i need to prioritize myself, cant live my life angry and frustrated and feeling excluded i deserve to be treated with respect

>>31189334
>but this bitch clearly has lots of issues. silent treatments, blame shifting, gaslighting, not taking accountability, etcetera.

ah, good to see you've learned absolutely nothing from this thread. yes, it's all her fault and you had absolutely no hand in fucking up what was a decent casual setup for you both, right?

>>31189374
stfu dumbass ive had enough of your self righteous shit talk

>>31189324
you manipulated yourself into feeling feelings that weren't reciprocated. it's okay, it happens. but take ownership and accountability of it yourself. blaming her for everything that's transpired is disingenuous at best and extremely dishonest on your part at worst.

>>31189378
Congrats on recognizing you need to make a change. But seriously, stop pulling the victim card so quickly. Your self esteem is making this kind of talk impulsively kneejerk you into anger. Stop caring so much.

>>31189397
it's wild he suggests she's BPD when he's the one jumping from one extreme to the other of "i love her" and "no i hate her and all other women" and displaying actual BPD symptoms lmao

>>31189387
i dont blame her for everything im taking responsibility, but acting like i should have mind read her or been able to know she was lying is beyond the pale of absurity

>>31189397
i was in fact, victimized. should i have left sooner? sure probably, but the whole issue with abusive relationships is the abused one feels everything is their fault, and here you are reifying that asinine concept. i am in therapy, i am taking responsibility. i am on this website seeking other perspectives. what more do you want form me? to go back in time and change the dynamics that were confusing to navigate. have some empathy dude

>>31189387
You don't know what happened, it's probably best not to assume anything. At most, I'd assume that his only part was taking the bait of her lovebombing. If you've never encountered a BPD girl, it's super easy to fall for.

>>31189334
What you need to do is be honest about your feelings, and only accept the kind of relationship you actually want, rather than having feelings but settling for being a dick appointment, because what you're going through now is the result. If you have feelings, either make it exclusive or walk away. Really, that's all you need to do.

>>31189408
she is a diagnosed borderline, and my anger to being manipulated is a normal response. i never said i hate all women, i was responding to someone who said i was "too emotional" so i said i would become the "spreadsheet guy" and not feel anything in relationships. is that a realistic way to be? obviously not. get real dude

>>31189412
>what more do you want form me
To stop reacting to things so quickly. Stop giving a fuck what other people think. He had a point, it was just worded badly.

>>31189420
she told me she was trying to work through her trauma bond and wanted me to stick around. i took her at her word. mistake on my part? probably but the people in this thread are acting like i am supposed to be psychic or sociopathic and not even considering that her behavior was confusing to navigate which is unreasonable on their part

>>31189424
excuse me, diagnosed bipolar, and she probably is borderline undiagnosed

>>31189428
so maybe he should stop being so poor with his wording? why is it always my fault?

>>31189424
when did you find out she was diagnosed borderline? shouldve ran right then and there

>>31189439
>>31189438
diagnosed bipolar, but its thought that 40% of bipolar diagnoses are actually BPD

>>31189438
>why is it always my fault?
It's not, but acting like it is and sweating over it isn't helping you. You're obviously going through a lot right now, but try to stay calm in these kinds of situations in the future.

If you want real communication have a real relationship. If you have a casual relationship expect casual communication you dweeb

>>31189455
nonsense. all relationships should be respectful. as i stated multiple times in this thread, casual is not a license to treat someone like shit, and the idea that is is, is absurd in so many ways

>>31189448
sure, i could have less reactivity, and i do see value in that, but the idea that my reactions are the only part of the equation that matter are absurd, people in this thread should conduct themselves to a higher standard as well. just because i went through a shitty relationship and made a thread about it does not entitle others to act like shit heads and then make jokes about my reactions saying bullshit like "you deserve it lol glad she left you for some other dick." nobody said anything to these shit head responses

>>31189471
>>31189471
>just because i went through a shitty relationship and made a thread
You left out crucial information. That's why everyone blamed you.

>jokes about my reactions
It's 4chan. Thicken your skin, it's all jokes and if it's not, who cares, it's just some incel hating on you.

>>31189433
>she told me she was trying to work through her trauma bond and wanted me to stick around
Stick around for what? "No I don't want to date you right now, but maybe someday once my mental problems are gone. Also, I'm going to keep seeing the supposed source of my mental probems." If you took that deal, that's on you.
>acting like i am supposed to be psychic or sociopathic
No, you're supposed to be responsible for your own feelings and, just like you said, enforce your boundaries. The healthy boundary to have would have been to reject the deal, and maybe leave the door open for when she's ready to be exclusive and official, instead of settling for dick appointments when you knew that's not what you want. You saying "okay, we can keep things (((casual))) even though I'm attached now" is just as much a lie, mostly to yourself. Really man, you need to know that so you don't do this again.

>>31189461
You deserve to be treated like shit because you act like a fucking loser lol.
All throughout this thread you're a clingy insecure nerd and try to mask it with faux bravado. Oh "its just casual, SHEs the one who really wants the relationship I'm just constantly demanding she respond to me via text". Youre like the fat loser boomer who copes with his inability to do anything useful anymore by threatening his daughters BF with a gun on first meeting him for no reason.

If you werent ass mad and taking your """ casual""" relationship way too seriously youd just move on and not beg amd plead for advice from autistic people online.

>>31189496
i wont engage anymore with your toxicity

>>31189493
i took her at her word and gave her a chance. im not a mind reader. maybe i could have responded better but i was doing the best i could

>>31189531
how old are you?

>>31189531
>took her at her word and gave her a chance
Her word was "Not now", to which you should have said, "okay, bye". Come on man. You're just asking to get strung along like that.

>>31189588
her word was "dont leave im working on my shit" i took her at her word my mistake. i should have put her in her place and said leave me alone until you are done with your ex. my mistake, lesson learned. in the future, i wont take her at her word, i will put her in her place like her dad would

>>31189721
bro is gonna crawl back to that bitch just to get some pussy. you have no shame, if anything you're more mentally unstable than her

>>31189921
you could not have possibly surmised any of that from what i posted.

>>31189954
you don't have to say it for anyone with an actual clue to know exactly what's happening here and how it's going to end for you.

>>31189721
>in the future, i wont take her at her word, i will put her in her place like her dad would
kek

>>31189954
btw, when you do crawl back, the sex won't be the same. she broke mentally you. ghost her and move on, that's the only way to get her back and keep your digniy

>>31189954
You don't get it bro. I know you will because I did. It's a pretty common experience and growing moment for guys. When we're saying this shit it's because we know. If we're clowning on you it's because we don't want you making that mistake too.

>>31190034
he's so emotionally unstable, he must be in his teens or early twenties and in his first relationship. poor kid

>>31189973
i tried dumping her a week and a half ago. she was angry and didnt want me to leave. i wasnt the one crawling to her

>>31190085
you can't dump her, your her dildo and emotional chew toy. delete her number now. delete her from your brain. you'll forget about her in two weeks, I guarantee it. enough of this pussy footing

>>31190085
she has completely taken over your mind. you've lost all higher brain function and it's written all over this thread. you're nothing but a pulsing amygdala right now. give it up now or regret it later

>>31188114
>difficult relationship, boundary violation.
Dork, you sound like a referee handing out penalty cards at a soccer game. No wonder you got walked all over like a simp.

>>31189496
>All throughout this thread you're a clingy insecure nerd and try to mask it with faux bravado. Oh "its just casual, SHEs the one who really wants the relationship I'm just constantly demanding she respond to me via text".
This. Total ass reaming in this thread and he's still coping. Grow up or keep getting fucked over.

>>31190099
>you're*

>>31190114
wrong, if that was true i wouldn't make this shitty thread

>>31190153
wah wah boundaries are no good you bad for having boundaries

>>31190168
OH NO HOW DARE YOU FEEL SOMETHING

lol do you nerds have anything better than this low hanging fruit shit? im disappointed, it feels like reddit in here, pathetic

>>31190244
You're like a hysterical woman, not a man. Good luck, hopefully you can handle the dopamine crash when this thread dies and you have no one left to whine to.

>>31190274
HOW DARE YOU RESIST WHEN PEOPLE SHIT ON YOU, YOU ARE JUST A DOPAMINE ADDICT LOL
lmao, pathetic

>>31190290
>RESIST
You're enjoying this. You like getting stepped on because you're an eternal victim. Enjoy the cold silence now, you've driven away your free pussy and now you've driven away your 4chan support group by being a turbo whiney dork

>>31190303
NO IF YOU DONT TOLERATE PEOPLE SHITTING ON YOU YOU ARE A DORK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
lol, dude

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>>31190311
Stop posting.

>>31190323
btfo beyond recognition

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>>31188185
>if she wants me around, what i am asking is a bare minimum of communication and respect, sorry you dont respect yourself enough to see it that way, i believe that all relationships should be respectful, whether they are casual or serious, sexual or not.
That was my thought too, but clearly I'm misunderstanding the nature of casual relationships. Because so far all I've gotten is "I'm gonna ignore you completely until I'm bored or horny."

Fuck that.

>>31190460
all relationships should include respect, trust, and communication if they are to be healthy. a relationship being casual is not an excuse to treat someone like shit, hope this helps brother, i went through this as the thread details, just because we are FWBs does not give her a license to treat me like garbage, hence why i am considering ending the relationship

>>31190499
I'm still new to the game& learning. Soon as they start ignoring me and I suspect they're with other dudes I drop them now. I don't need super AIDS

How hard is it to just find a stable fwb or relationship. God damn

>>31190521
im not an expert since this is the first woman i been with in over a decade. i can say that when someone is deliberately disrespectful, whether it be casual or otherwise relationship, its a sign that they dont deserve your psychic energy and you should move on. it might be demonic energy to be honest, but in any case, its parasitic for them to feed off of your misery, so dont engage. move on when they become disrespectful, dont blame yourself and think you should tolerate this. all relationships should include trust, communication and respect if they are to be considered healthy, casual or otherwise this rule always applies, dont accept poor treatment and dont give in to the demonic parasites

>>31188185
>just because its casual doesnt mean that you can ignore the other person or treat them with disrespect
she's not committed to you, she doesn't owe you shit man. and vice versa.

>>31190547
all relationships should include trust, communication and respect, if they dont include those, they are by definition unhealthy. this is not debatable

>>31190547
Friendships aren't committal either, but i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be friends with someone like that. Let alone sleep with them. Not OP

>>31190558
exactly. good on you for seeing this. this argument applies to all relationships, like work relationships, your boss etcetera. people generally dont tolerate abuse in most cases, but in a "casual relationship" you'll find "special pleading" arguments where people pretend that it's ok to treat the other with disrepsect. (hint: it's not okay)

>>31190566
jesus christ dude, you weren't "abused" because she didn't text you back. it's painfully obvious why this is the first woman you've been with in over a decade. you put her on a pedestal and got big mad when your fantasy of her didn't match reality.

>>31190599
>just lower your expectations, you will have more relationships
no thanks

>>31190633
>just expect exclusive committed relationship attributes when in a casual relationship and then get emotionally activated when that doesn't happen

yeah, no thanks. i'm not as delusional as you.

>>31190647
>oh no she told she loved you and wanted you therefore you are toxic for not being a mind reader
nice argument, retard

>>31190650
seems like you're just another dumbass anon who hasn't figured out yet that woman's actions are way more important and applicable than her words. good luck.

>>31190662
>women are not adults and need to be treated as children even though they have voting rights
k, noted

>>31188114
You will have my time

>four months in a casual sexual relationship
>difficult relationship
No, you are just a booty call. She is not that into you, she doesnt love you. If she would be into you, she would be two months deep in love with you asking where this is going, asking to be your gf and showing you so much repect you would feel smothered

>she was ignoring me for about a week, not replying to my texts or calls
You are acting like a woman. You are a booty call, yet you are emotionally attached, you treat her like a gf while she knows she acts shitty, you dont respect yourself and you have no other options. You are not acting as a man, so she doesnt see you as one

>decided to cut her off, told her i was moving on
Baby temper tantrum. Now she knows its a bluff, you are easy and weak. You are acting as a woman and your word means nothing

>said she is not ignoring me just been messing with her abusive ex
Her ex acts more of a man than you are. He is more attractive, so she is oscillating back and forth

>Tried calling her, she did not answer or give me any acknowledgement
You are emotional, you are needy. You are chasing a woman who doesnt give a shit about you and treats you like a booty call because you have no experience and no options. Thats unattractive. You act like a woman

>waited a few days and then set a boundary
Setting boundaries without leverage, after bluffing and chasing? You are blind and delusional by your emotional attachment. In one year you will look back and understand

>i texted her asking if she could come over soon and i need to see her and talk with her

>could
>need

I feel physical desgust just from that sentence alone. You dont chase someone who gives no shit about you, that shows how low your self esteem is and how you have no other women. You beg her to spend time with you, you NEED her. Unless you analyze why are you so feminine and fix it, all women in your life will treat you like this

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>>31188114

OP
>> I'm in a non-exclusive casual sex thing with a girl who is still emotionally invested in her ex and still fucking him too. But our relationship is totally casual.

Also OP
>> Whhhyyyyyyy wooon't sheee replyyy to myyy teeeexxt bawwwww

Grow the fuck up dickweed. Either it's casual and you don't actually care, or you're more invested than you want to believe and need to make that clear to yourself and her.

Either way, stop the ultimatum shit. She's emotionally invested in her ex, she isn't going to choose you. Just stop messaging her until she messages you again.

>>31188114
Nobody owes you their time unless you have a work contract.

Dropping in to remind OP he's a bitch and acted a fool in this thread,he should be ashamed,but he won't be because he's bitch made.

>>31189531
There's the faux bravado lol. You dont like the truth and you're emotionally fragile so you claim that anyone who isn't playing along with your fantasy is "toxic" so you dont have to hear the truth. Lucky for you I like berating people who have no introspection so you still get a little attention from me. Maybe you can even learn to look at yourself critically and solve the problems you create by lying to yourself.

>>31188185
This is clearly upsetting you a lot so it's for the best that you break it off. You're more invested than her.

i ended the relationship. its over, thanks for the input from some of you. the idea that you people can be cunts to me and im just supposed to "take it like a man" or "im feminine for having emotions and communicating like an adult," is absolutely absurd and you all should be ashamed of yourselves for shitting on someone who was simply looking for advice. toxic masculinity is one of the main reasons men have it so bad in the modern world, and you idiots are feeding into it.
>oh no men are not supposed to have emotions
>oh men who communicate and feel things are feminine
congratulations on being part of the problem. the trope of the stoic man who feels nothing and treats people indifferently needs to die already so men can be treated as human beings. tired of the toxic nonsense and you all pretending its "masculine" or some other such nonsense, its toxic and abusive and has no place in a dignified world i wont engage any further in this thread

>>31192391
You're still completely missing their point. No one is telling you not to have emotions and boundaries they're telling you that your expectations for FWBs are too high. What you want is a relationship. You played yourself by allowing yourself to get this upset and not cutting her off way sooner.

>>31192391
>>31192401
This

>the idea that you people can be cunts to me
Men learn through pain, harsh words shake you up

>toxic masculinity is one of the main reasons men have it so bad in the modern world
You are blindly retelling propaganda which is aimed against you. Toxic masculinity is an absurd term that has no real meaning

>oh no men are not supposed to have emotions
Incorrect. Men cannot react or act on fleeting emotions, thats what children and women do. I mean, you can, but that will get you dumped very quickly. Women attraction is dictated by instincts, its not a choice, emotions to them are disgusting weakness. You can forward your complain to millions of years of evolution and their instinct of self preservance

>oh men who communicate
You are missing the intricacy of that subject. You should communicate, at the right time, in the right way, with the right leverage. Or get her attraction turn into nothing and get disrespected and dumped

>feel things are feminine
Behave like a man. You can cry in your garage on your own. Nature dictates dating, and nature is ruthless

>so men can be treated as human beings
You will be surprised the more you get dating experience. Women operate on instincts and emotions, and justify their actions afterwards. They dont love men. They dont care about you as a person. Thats why she can be in love with you today and ghost you completely one month later. Men will never be treated like humans beings, because that would be unsafe, instinctual suicide. Accept evolutionary biology. Neocortex and society are very recent things

>no place in a dignified world
I wish things were that idealistic. But you live in a world where you personally will never be attracted to 400 pounds bad breath asymmetrical philipina chick 20 years older than you. Why? Because attraction is not a choice, its a biological mechanism. And women have way less concious control than you do. They are surivalist opportunistic anxious scared children

>>31192391
You're just a child mentally and emotionally and we're calling you out on it. Get over it, pussy.

you guys were right, i was wrong. i was being too emotional and expecting too much from a FwB. i realized i was in the wrong. i asked her if we can continue seeing each other as we have, and i said i am ok with her showing up in my life as she is, not how i expect her to be. i let her know she is the best thing in my life right now, and i dont want to lose her. yes i may have been a pussy for how i worded that, but i just wanted to be authentic. thank you for calling me out on my bullshit. for me to lose free pussy because i am expecting her to be something she isn't is pure foolishness and me tossing away a blessing. she is an angel and i dont want to lose her. she is a gift and a blessing

sorry for being a bitch and thanks for calling me out

>>31192636
yeah, you are right. thanks for taking the time to share

>>31194824
>>31194833
>>31194861

Nice, I'm gonna assume from this sequence of posts that she won't exactly be keen on continuing the relationship in any capacity in the future due to your continued insistence of bringing emotional drama into a casual arrangement. Confessing that she's the best thing in your life is going to put sooo much pressure on her that she'll inevitably start flaking and ghosting even more than she has. OP continues to own himself here but maybe one day it'll get through his skull that he shouldn't get so attached to a temporary situation.

>>31195143
I'd put money on him being back in 3 days mad about the same thing.

>>31195143
no we have gone back and forth several times throughout these four months and she always comes back

>>31195192
You're making some large withdrawals from her emotional bank account and pretty soon your balance will be zero with her and then it's game over. The on again/off again situationship combined with you flip flopping from attempting to place boundaries on her to confessing your utmost adoration is going to take a heavy emotional toll and she will eventually get tired of your bullshit. She won't come out and say it exactly as that would be awkward for her, but you've already noticed her pulling away by not responding to your reach outs in what you consider a timely fashion. Instead, she'll just string you along putting on a facade until you finally get the hint and drop it altogether yourself.

I've seen this exact scenario play out literally hundreds of times and it always ends the exact same way.

>>31195253
i appreciate your warning but it will be fine i know her every situation is unique no matter how much you have seen we will be fine

>>31195253
She doesn't have an emotional bank account, she's BPD. Everything she does will revolve around how much her neurotransmitters and going haywire at that particular moment.

And then, of course, one day she will completely go blank on him, he will be dead to her for no reason in particular. That's when he will truly be destroyed.

>>31196392
no way. im lowering my expectations. just because she is the best thing in my life right now doesn’t mean im entitled to her forever. yes i realize i was being very emotional last night, but i really did have an epiphany today and realized i was being unreasonable. i am tempering my approach not only to her but life in general. i appreciate all the push back i got last night i needed to be called out on my bullshit and aplreciate what i have in life rather than projecting my ideals onto an imperfect world. everything is unfolding perfectly i am exactly where i need to be just like everyone else, i trust life to take care of me i trust the process i forgive everyone for everything i was also drunk last night which was part of the problem

>>31196416
At the end of the day, you still have low self esteem, shes still not your girlfriend, and you're still obsessed with her. Take a hard look in the mirror and think about if this pussy is really in your best interest right now.

>>31196700
checked. yes of course its in my best interest. God arranged for this situation so everything is unfolding perfectly in spite of appearances (illusion)

>>31196770
Now you're LARPing that you've gone crazy to save face? Bro, you have no face left to save.

>>31196881
gone crazy? by what accounts? everything is unfolding perfectly, all things are connected. there is no such thing as randomness, therefore, everything happens for a reason according to the Intelligence which governs our reality, this is simply an objective fact

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>>31196894

>>31196915
>argument status
undetected

>>31197001
Are you actively pursuing education or job training that will increase your income ?

>>31197008
yes i am being trained to be a manager at my job i recently found i am being promoted and am elated since this has been a long term goal of mine