Your life would still be SHIT if you lived in the Pokémon universe.No one likes you enough to give you a starter. Even if you somehow stole a pokemon, it would never respect you and it’d run off to the wild. You’d be a resentful nopokemon fat guy freak stuck in his hometown. An inpless (involuntarily pokemonless).
so, better than my current situation?
>>55906647In this world you’re excluded from having a girlfriend, when everyone has one.In the Pokémon world, you’d be excluded from having a Pokémon, when everyone has one. How is that better?
>>55906662can i get a gf in pokemon then?
>>55906639So I'd stay the same but I'd live in a nicer area with cleaner air?How terrible.
>>55906662NIGGER please. Not everyone has a "girlfriend" and relationships between these NPC goblins are the ficklest, fakest and most worthless of diarrhea. >>55906639I agree theres no difference however, in this man-less tranny world where the only way to get anything is through social climbing sexo prostitution or nepotism prostitution it isnt even about not being liked. Everyone at this point already has a way where to find their living objects (grindr, tinder, their various circles of rape victims such as how doctors rape their patients, or even dogs and cats replacing humans. not to count refugees and many more down syndrome)Pokemon at the same time are slaves drugged closed in a ball which reflect the same exact evilness, though since the equivalent is dogs, yes, you would have pokemon. And actually since theyre under drugs and tranquilizers theyre also easier to controlBut apart from that the world would be the same. You can have sex with pokemon like white males have sex with monkeys and dogs but youre never reaching anything in your MISERABLE EXISTENCE. SEX IS NOTHING
Pokemon academies give free starters pokemon to every students besides naranja and uva academy don't ask for moneys until proved otherwise and everyone from any age can go to that school
I can still catch some full-health shitmon
>>55906662wouldn't the equivalent of having a girlfriend just be having a girlfriend? people have girlfriends in the Pokemon world too. having a Pokemon is more like having a pet, which I do have. I doubt I would be some prodigy battler like the protagonists, but why couldn't I have a meowth or something at home just like I have a cat?
>what are PokeManiacs?
>>55906776In fact it would be even harder, the faggot is obviously a dogfucker
>>55906776he's saying you would be like one of those fat homeless npcs that walk around saying "ummmmm I think there's a rattata in the grass or some shit but i never checked before in my whole entire life"
>>55906793>Technology is amazing!>I can tell Rotom-GPT to generate pictures of Whitney lactating and it just works!
>>55906799LEL
>>55906639imagine having to schedule your threads in advancefucking loser
>>55906793but I'm not fat or homeless in real life. I think I would just be a normal npc in a house with like one domestic pokemon
>play USUM>leave food out on poke pelago>a staryu joins without me having to do anything Wow, so difficult to get a pokemon.
https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/List_of_Pok%C3%A9mon_by_catch_rateYou can sort the list by Catch Rate. The higher the Catch Rate, the more willing it will be to join you. Which one would you like as your first Pokémon?
>>55907349this one
>>55907349Cute birb will be fly friend
I'll keep telling you this till you fuck off or it sinks in - ANY person who hasn't started a pokémon journey prior can receive a pokémon and become a trainer. Which means any and every shut-in neet bastard COULD get a pokémon, if they work up the courage to leave the house (something I don't have a phobia over, so that's me instantly ahead of half you faggots) and ask the local professor or Pokémon centre attendant about getting one.So cram it with walnuts dickbag.
>>55907762Based
>>55907349aw yeah it's raichu time
>>55906759>>55907762>uhm, should we really give this kid a starter? He’s quiet and… a security risk >no we won’t, let’s talk to his father>oh… okay we’ll talk to his mother then, she’s still around, right?>>55906761>You encountered a wild Bidoof!>You have no Pokémon!>Bidoof used tackle!>your skull breaks and you get an orbital blow out fracture, your teeth shatter and fall to the floor>>55906787Do they give free Pokémon to circus freaks?>>55907001In real life, you’re unlikable and no one respects you. No Pokémon would join you out of their own volition.
>>55907813yes
>>55907797>PartnerAnon.....
>55907813A-bloo-bloo-bloo, sorry cunt. I don't hate myself, so the fact you're trying to project your opinion on all things Pokémon to us, because you do means nothing to me.Still gonna ask the qt Nurse if she'd be able to point me to where I could get my first partner pokémon.
>>55907349Lillipup. Loyal pupper makes for an ideal temperament for a novice trainer, and the line is VERY strong for an early route normal type. Will carry you through the early parts of your journey and still be able to intimidate bot and hit hard with massive STAB Returns once you get established.Things like Bronzor, Magikarp, Feebass, and Ferroseed have higher long-term potential, but are probably too difficult for a total noob to work with.>>55907377Birbs are solid choices, though Starly and Rookiedee are a lot better than Pidgey.
>>55907001>spend 200 pokedollars (which is basically lunch money/spare change)>get pokeball>throw it at something>get it>now i have a pokemon
>>55907349sandshrew, nidoran-m, numel, trapinch, swinub, and silicobra as my starting squadground ftw
I could just fish up a magikarp really easily. I wouldn't need a starter at all.
>This thread againTry something new
>>55908014Pokedollars are yen.200 yen right now is about $1.38 so yeah it's not that hard. Puts of a lot of prices into weird consideration though. Like how in USUM a tm is roughly the price of a new game($64).I wonder if there's drm on tms.
>>55908521>Illegally download TMs>Porygon starts demanding 1 million pokedollars or it will self destructWhat do???
>>55908545>Free self-destruct tmBased.
>>55908521>I wonder if there's drm on tms.Why do you think they broke in the past and break again today? People at the manufacturer's get angry when profits plateau because people can buy one and use it on all their pokémon. MUCH better to force them to buy 6 or more if they want it for all their 'mons.
>>55906639I'm sure some merchants film and produce pokephilia porn.Being able to fap to that is already better.
>>55907349Sandshrew go!
>>55907377Damn. Pokémon go AR has gotten advanced
>ITT: OP projects his own insecurities onto an entire board
>>55906639Pokeballs cost less than pop from a vending machine, and many early route pokemon can be caught with a standard ball without being weakened
>>55907870>uhm, Nurse Joy? This man has no friends! Everyone hates him! I don’t think we should be giving him a Pokémon>>55908014If you tried to fight a wild Pokémon without having one of your own, you’d get maimed. Imagine thinking you’d be able to catch the equivalent of a frenzied pitbull with rabies charging at you.>>55908369How would you level it?>>55908591That’s EXACLTY why you freaks would be banned from owning a Pokémon.>>55909761>A wild Rattata appeared!>You have no Pokémon!>Rattata used scratch!>your eyes got gouged out! You are bleeding heavy!
Rattata gets Tackle, not Scratch. I hope it Tackled you in the testicles.
What would shaun's life be like in the pokemon universe
>>55909037i think he’s a mossad agent trying to brainwash us into becoming blackpilled so we don’t resist the NWO
>>55909927thrown in a mental hospital for lunacy and other shit
Can someone kill this dipshit.I am tired of seeing this fucking thread and his self-hating projecting.Do it with napalm preferably, drive by.
>>55909927Loud screeching every time his lone low level Seviper gets one-shotted. Also gets kicked out of the academy kek
>>55909962imagine how funny it’d be if he ran into >>55908121
>>55909967lololol he'd be some fodder trainer outside the academy (because he got kicked out) screaming some schizobabble at you to challenge you, then screaming some cope after he gets one-shotted
>>55909976have any /vp/ romhackfags or essentialfags made a NPC parodying that lolcowif they haven’t then someone shouldmake sure to give the seviper 0 IVs for added seething from shaunnot like anyone would notice because seviper’s stats fucking suck LOL!
>>55907813>uhm, should we really give this kid a starter? He’s quiet and… a security riskPenny got a starter, right?>>55909879>A wild Rattata appeared!>You threw a rock>Rattata is angry>You threw a ball>Ooh it was so close>You threw a ball>Rattata was caughtNo problem. >>55906759How do you know they don't charge tuition and your mom pays it? As a kid you might not find these things out until you flunk out and get the "I spent how much money to send you there only for you to blow it" lecture.
>>55910007Damn, it actually took longer than I thought. Here's something for one of the newer Essentials versions. You could always rip off some pajeet jak from /k/ or /g/ to make a sprite for NYU_DROPOUT#for trainer_types.txt[NYU_DROPOUT]Name = NYU DropoutGender = MaleBaseMoney = 10000SkillLevel = 1IntroBGM = Johnny_Cash_-_Hurt#for trainers.txt[NYU_DROPOUT,Shaun]LoseText = "UOU AHVE KURU SKANKTHIA SIMP, STAY MAD"Pokemon = SEVIPER,1 Moves = WRAP,BITE,POISONTAIL,SCREECH AbilityIndex = 0 Nature = MODEST IV = 0,0,0,0,0,0 EV = 0,0,0,0,0,0Maybe even make a script so you can fight him again every 3 days or so (to represent coming back after a ban kek)
>>55910085>his plan is to pelt an innocent Pokémon with rocks>he thinks he won’t be attacked and have his spine shattered in between ball throwsThousands of inpless would be maimed in the Pokémon world when they tried to catch a rabid wild Pokémon without a starter. And Penny doesn’t look like she could molest Pokémon or use them for mayhem.>>55909955This thread is only posted as a reminder once every three months.
>never played the safari zoneTa puto.
>>55910284How would you make it to the safari zone without a Pokémon? You’d be stuck in your hometown because of the tall grass.
>>55909927>What would shaun's life be like in the pokemon universeexpelled from Eterna City academybitten by a seviperrestraining order against blonde pokegirls
>>55910273OP is a tranny
>>55910273Is that when your dosage runs out and you sperg here 'till the doctor's opens to re-up?
>>55910304Don't forget>restraining order from Iris forbidding him within 500 yards of her
>>55907813>>55909879Trainer goes first you fuck
>>55909879Through candies, you idiot.
>>55906639I'm really really sorry that even when even on a hypothetical completely fresh start in life in a magical wonderland such as the Pokemon World you cannot imagine yourself leading a happy and fulfilling life so you must project your miserable and pathetic thoughts on everyone else, pretending everyone's as completely worthless as you are, as a way to cope with how miserable you are as a person.I hope that someday you can find happiness, OP.
>>55910085>Penny got a starter, right?Eevee is a starter yes
>>55910560Real life isn’t turn based. Do you think you’d be able to hit a charging frenzied wild animal with a pokeball before it rips your flesh? What happens if it comes out of the ball?>>55910671What’s your net worth? How will you afford them when you’re a poorfag or a NEET? And even if you did it that way, no Pokémon would ever respect you. They’d probably jump back in the sea first chance they get.>>55910680Not a single person in /vp/ would be allowed to have a Pokémon and this cannot be disproven. When you’re a failure to launch adult, it doesn’t matter if you’re put in a magic wonderland or not. You still suck and society hates you. The purpose of this post is to make that clear.
>>55906639Why is this anon always so mean?
>>55910731This isn't real life, it's the Pokemon universe
>>55906639I'd immediately get myself a swimmer girlfriend
>>55910784this one
>>55910731>Doubles down on his projectionTruly tragic.
Why do people keep replying to the phonefaggot who makes these threads?It's just some faggot from Sharty
>>55906639I do more walking than you, so I'd least leave my hometown.
Don't worry, you can always farm sh**n and his level 1 Seviper here >>55910114He may not be a Blissey farm, and you wouldn't get much XP from him, but you'll still get 10K each time. He's also scripted to come back 3 days after getting BTFO, or maybe less if he manages to evade, so that's a decent source of income. One problem is his shitmon will give your little buddy both Attack and SpAtk EVs, but with that money, you might be able to fix that. You might not even notice his screaming and ranting while you're counting the money you beat out of him.
>>55910831I’m not on sharty. Too old to understand that humor.>>55910833Your hometown is surrounded by tall grass, which is then filled with rabid wild Pokémon that attack you and at minimum give you a concussion that blacks you out. How do you plan on leaving it?
>>55910887>Fish up shitmon>Farm sh**n>???>Profit!
>>55906639Nothing stopping me from lobbing balls at wild, sleeping mon until I catch something.
>>55906662whats exactly stopping me from going to a store, buying pokeballs, and catching my own pokemon?
>>55911408>believing anyone would hire a socially inept /vp/edophile
>>55910734mental illness
>>55910831nah this is too obvious for them
>>55906639And that's why the PalWorld universe is much better, because not only their Poke'Ball expies work on humans, but also the Memory-ereasing drugs' usage is widespread and encouraged.
>>55910857>the most shaun can do is mess up EV traininglmfao
>>55906757>SEX IS NOTHINGThen why do feminists want to make the penalty for rape be even longer than the prison sentence for actualy murdering someone?
>>55911633No no no they want the penalty of Femiods getting raped to be more then murder, for men they will just laugh at you and tell you, you deserved it
>>55910273>he thinks he won’t be attacked and have his spine shattered in between ball throwsTauros is a lot more dangerous than Rattata and I've caught them using this method. It sounds silly but it works.>Penny doesn’t look like she could molest Pokémon or use them for mayhem.And yet there's Team Star.
>>55910114This is just about perfect.>WRAP,BITE,POISONTAIL,SCREECHPoison Tail is too good. Replace it with Swallow. Sure, Seviper can't normally learn it, but I have a feeling he'd find a way to teach it anyway.>Nature = MODEST>all physical movesKek
>>55910293>implying you couldn't buy balls at a mart and catch safari style on any routeOr are the Safari Zone Pokemon specially trained to be catchable this way?You could also find a Pidgey nest neat your home, watch for it to be unattended for a moment, steal an egg, and run circles around your house with it until it hatches and imprints on you.
>>55911975>HER SEVIPER HAS 32 IVOne of them, yes. >IV = 0,0,0,32,0,0There, better.>AND EVSSure, you can have 32 EVs too.>EV = 0,0,0,32,0,0
>>55912031I'll give you even better, shaun! 41% increase on all EVs. I dunno if you realize why you'd still be one-shotted even by a fresh starter or an early route rodent!EV = 41,41,41,41,41,41
>>55906662>everyone is in a relationship but ME!Jesus wept,if only life was as easy for us and you imagine it is.Unironically go join a physical activity club and avoid the Internet for 5 days of the week
>>55906662I could make a pokemon my gf, a buneary isn't hard to catch.
>>55911512Yeah, this, sadly
>>55912110>implying the local buneary wouldnt kill themselves before ever letting you catch them.
>>55911633Men that rape should be killed. The fact that they had to commit a crime to get laid is proof positive that their genes shouldn’t propagate.>>55911924You might be able to catch one on the first throw. If it comes out of the ball or if you miss, you get mangled and hospitalized. Even if you caught it, it would never respect you.>>55911992>inpless has to resort to stealing the unborn children of unsuspecting PokémonIt would fly away the second it realized what you’ve done.>>55912110People like you is why there’d probably be laws forbidding friendless weirdos from getting Pokémon.
>>55912391>Making pokemon fight to the death is good but raping them is wrong because.....um.....because I said so!Yeah, okay. I'll be over here raping this >level 18 lolimon if you dont mind.
>>55906639what a FUGLY cuck, holy shit. why would he feel the need to post his ugly self online?
>>55912391>Even if you caught it, it would never respect you.I'm its OT, it will respect me regardless of level. That's how it works. And if it's a level 2 Rattata it's almost certain to catch on the first throw.
>>55912676>implying you look any better
>>55912691most do
>>55912976Normies yes. People on this website, no.
>>55913394was talking about this site lol but sorry for you
>>55912110A buneary would be far stronger than you which is why people need Pokemon to leave their towns. One headbutt (which is enough to knock Pokemon out of trees) and you'd be dead.
>the mentally deranged faggot is still squealing her headcanons are actual canon
>>55906639Bro, I would have a SKITTY and it would be DOPEI could easily buy pokeballs or trade/purchase from someone.My life +a pokemon would be real rad.You are PROJECTING negative aspects onto /vp/ and I don't appreciate you trying to bring people down. I love & respect most people here and I implore you to do the same. If you can't be niceGET LOST
>>55912110>a buneary isn't hard to catchYeah but she will hate your guts and it will take years and years of you coddling her before she will evolve.
>>55912024kek but as a reminder, essentials' stat spreads are hp/attack/defense/speed/special attack/special defensenot like it'd matter, SFMA and all that>>55912076you forgot how percentages workthat would have an EV spread of 0,0,0,45,0,0 as 32 x 1.42 = 45.something
Seriously 1000 bucks says this guy is the guy that posts his own unwashed asshole occasionally Die in a mass shooting you waste of carbon.
>>55914217That's a waste of the lives of the people he goes down with, cunt should just eat the business end of a loaded gun and let his finger slip.
I don't even need a Pokemon to want to live in that world. Advanced medical technology, comfy towns everywhere, world is so peaceful kids can travel whole regions unattended (not just the player character), poverty and war and crime barely exist, the economy and society is so stable the government exists mostly to regulate Pokemon and the police don't even have guns, an extremely advanced piece of tech like a pokeball costs less than a candy bar.Even if I was stuck somewhere because the wild area between each town was too dangerous (it's a high trust society just ask someone for an escort) it would still be a better life than most people will ever get.
>>55914217that asshole belongs to nikocado avocado, that gay ukranian mukbang youtuber who had his onlyfans leaked by someone dumb enough to want to pay for it in the first place, regardless of motive
>>55913943>>55914217>>55914346>>55914648Why are you so mad? I’m just stating the truth. Just accept that you wouldn’t be able to get a Pokémon in the Pokémon universe, like you cannot get a girlfriend in this one. Just admit it like this anon did: >>55914504
>>55914879>I’m JuSt StAtInG dA TroOf lolololololo.>Miserable fucking puddle of shit.Kill yourself
Demoralization thread
>>55911969I wanted to give it Poison Sting instead of Tail kek. Seviper doesn't get that normally, but if it's illegal anyway, 15 BP STAB would be funny as hell.I also forgot to give it an item! Lagging Tail or Iron Ball would be funny, but it's level 1, anyway. I'm thinking Ring Target, or maybe Flame Orb. Even something like Life Orb wouldn't really help it and would just lose HP if it ever managed to make a move, or Choice Specs for a nasty surprise if he uses Screech lol.
you just throw a pokeball at them retard it isn't rocket science
>>55906639Easy to say your pokemon wouldn't respect YOU but 6'3 testosterone-pumped bull would EASILY be able to get a pokemon to respect ME!
Remember too that "muh wouldn't respect you" doesn't work one bit. You can get friendship to 0, and all that would do is make Frustration stronger. And even then, after one-shotting sh**n a few times with Frustration would raise your friendship a lot already. And even if you don't gain XP from him anymore, you'd still get 10K shekels each time.
My gardevoir would turn your brain into mush while she rides my dick.
>>55906639Incredibly good bait but my dad would definitely have one that he'd have let me borrow if I couldn't just get one off someone. Would I have powerful Pokémon? Probably not. Something like a Volbeat though? Totally.
>>55906662>In this world you’re excluded from having a girlfriend, when everyone has one.Why exactly would I be excluded from having a girlfriend in a world where everyone (supposedly) has a girlfriend including those fat ugly bastards?
>>55915397Engaging a wild Pokémon while being pokemonless yourself can lead to grave injury. See: >>55910085>>55915437How would you even get your hands on a Pokémon with frustration in the first place?>>55915466You wouldn’t be allowed within 100 meters of a Pokémon.>>55915505There’s no way it would respect you enough to follow you into battle. Even worse, most anons here were neglected/abused by their parents who are as fucked up as them, and would never lend them a Pokémon. Most would still be inpless.>>55915537What? Fat ugly freaks don’t get girlfriends in the Pokémon world. You would have no companionship, from either women or Pokémon.
I cited the wrong greentext, here is the right one: >>55909879
>>55909934This is the most likely explanation>>55911512This is a less likely explanation The BLACKEDposter on /b/ was doxxed and found posting from Israel
>>55915629a level 2 caterpie isn't going to give me "great injury" anon, bug catchers who are literal pokemonless children catch them all the time.>but it won't respect you11!!this is obviously untrue as pokemon from evil teams respect their trainers even though they are bad people and probably mistread them, if you get it in a pokeball it respects you, simple as that, they are animals not women.
>>55915654>A wild Caterpie appeared!>You have no Pokémon!>You throw a Pokeball!>The Caterpie broke free!>Caterpie used Tackle!>Your ribs are shattered! You are bleeding internally! You are paralyzed! You are knocked prone! You blacked out!And Pokémon respect bad people because they’re still likable/socially competent. When have you seen a Pokémon respect an unlikable basement dweller manchild?
>>55915678you are absolutely delusional if you think a level 2 caterpie can break anyone's bones.>Pokémon respect bad people because they’re still likable/socially competentstop projecting op, it's embarassing, pokemon aren't women
op keeps trying to repeat the same few blatantly false lies because anything actually plausible would go againsy his misery fantasy
>>55915692>a 30cm magic bug charging at me with full force wouldn’t hurt me because… it just wouldn’t okay?>yeah when all my Pokémon faint in battle I black out from being hit by the opposite Pokémon. Why is that relevant?Also, state one example of a Pokémon befriending a friendless unlovable lonely freak. They never do. Even when they befriend bad guys, the bad guys are funny and have other friends too.>>55915765The plan of this board is to go into the woods and fight rabid wild aggressive animals that can give concussions and cause blackouts with a single attack. It’s a shitty plan, it wouldn’t work, and you faggots would stay inpless.
>>55916124>a 30cm magic bug charging at me with full force wouldn’t hurt me because… it just wouldn’t okay?exactly, it wouldn't, kids catch it easily and the fact that their parents let them do it unsupervised is clearly demonstrating that they aren't dangerous to the point of breaking someone's bones. this is from moon pokedex entry of caterpie "It’s easy to catch, and it grows quickly, making it one of the top recommendations for novice Pokémon Trainers."there, do you want to argue with the canon now? you retarded dumbfuckthe blackout is just a videogame mechanic, like the turn based combat (which is something you already brushed off earlier in the thread), it's an excuse for you to teleport to a pokemon center, therefore it's not relevant>state one example of a Pokémon befriending a friendless unlovable lonely freakan example? any of the evil team leaders? they are often lonely freaks who want to kill everyone and don't even care about their own group, do you think ghetsis is "funny"? your logic is retarded and pokemon obey anyone who manages to capture them, they don't choose who they obey and that only happens with traded pokemon
>>55916225Bug catchers have multiple Pokémon, implying that one of them was given as a starter. No one would give (You) a starter. It’s never shown that parents send their children to the forest pokemonless and just armed with nets to catch bugs, which is what you’re implying. And you can’t dismiss blacking out like that. Explain to me HOW you black out at the end of a fight without being attacked and getting a concussion.Ghetsis is charismatic enough to lead an organization. You can’t even get a girl to like you.
>>55916124>I black out from [HEADCANON]
>>55916269explain to me how you black out fighting a legendary, who could easily destroy you entire town, or losing to a villain who would kill you if they got the chance, causes the exact same outcome of losing to a fucking wurmple, it is a video game mechanic and doesn't make any sense, it's literally just a game over screen, it doesn't mean anything>Bug catchers have multiple Pokémonwrong, some have only one pokemon and in some sprites they have a net, implying they caught that bug pokemon with a net and are training their newly caught pokemon, if they have another pokemon with them given as a starter then they would use it in a battle, you assuming they have other pokemon they used to catch their bug type is a headcanon that you pulled out of your ass.>No one would give (You) a starteryou really can't stop projecting holy shit, some people have nice parents, i know it's hard for you to picture but it is a thing. i'm sorry your dad raped you
>>55916342and to add to the "black out" bullshitwhen you are fighting another trainer and lose, you also black out, do you really think a gym leader lets their trained pokemon attack a 10 year old child until it faints? it doesn't add up
>>55916342> explain to me how you black out fighting a legendary, who could easily destroy you entire town, or losing to a villain who would kill you if they got the chance, causes the exact same outcome of losing to a fucking wurmpleIt’s a game for children aged 5-10. They’re not going to show you dying. That’s why they show you “blacking out”. If they wanted to put a “game over” screen, they’d do it. By necessity, when you black out, something happens to you (you most likely get attacked/catch flak from an attack to your Pokémon) and you get dragged to a poke center. It’s not “game over” in the sense that you go back to a previous save. > wrong, some have only one pokemon and in some sprites they have a net, implying [HEADCANON]You could never get a net and catch a Pokémon while being pokemonless in a Pokémon game. You’re writing fanfiction here. It may be that they like bugs, which is why they chose a bug starter, and they go hunting for bugs with it in the forest.As for (You) not getting a starter: pretty sure anyone ending up on 4chan could not be trusted with a living being that could pose a public safety risk. You really think people like >>55912411 would get a starter?
>>55916393None of what you're bitching about exists in the Pokemon universe, suffice it to say that it would simply cease to exist if injected
>>55916393>it's a game for children therefore you must disregard these specific things to make sense of my headcanonalso let's no forget the fact that the game explicitly mentions "You hurry to the Pokémon Center, shielding your exhausted Pokémon from any further harm... "if you were supposed to have blacked out, how do you hurry to the pokemon center?also the fact that trainers also make you "black out", which doesn't make any sense and you conveniently ignored, do you think they let their pokemon attack a 10 year old child?>wrong, some have only one pokemon and in some sprites they have a net, implying [HEADCANON]like what you're saying isn't also a headcanon, a caterpie is never charactarized as being able to break a human's bones with a tackle, that still remains a complete headcanon and you can't say otherwise>pretty sure anyone ending up on 4chan could not be trusted with a living being that could pose a public safety riskno one in my life knows i frequent 4chan, and i'm sure no one did when they were 10.
>>55916393and even if everything that you said was true and backed by lore (it is not) i could always go to a safari zone catch my first pokemon there, the player does it so it shouldn't be a problem
>>55906639Nahh, Id do fine. I wouldnt need a starter, just catch some shitmon and work my way up and actually utilize type advantages. Even the best trainers in lore are pretty fucking dumb with this. Your average casualfaggot with some advanced knowledge could stomp most elite trainers.Now if you meant we werent being injected into the Pokemon World but in our world Pokemon became real, thats a different story. I wouldnt be competing against canon trainers, we'd be competing against each other. Then I might say it would be difficult.
Seriously 500 bucks on the table, doxx this faggot.
>>55916393That guy you quoted would definitely be given a starter.
>>55916514*basic knowledgejust knowing the type chart puts you at an immediate advantage over most trainers
>>55916446>>55916478>>55916487>>55916514Try catching a big feral angry rat that can bite you with your bare hands and then tell me if you’d be able to catch a Pokémon while being inpless. Even if (You) were brave enough to attempt it, 99% of the basement-dwelling troglodytes here are not.>>55916775I fuck your mom and creampie her.
##ARGUMENT RECAP##>no Pokémon would willingly want to be your friend>no one would like you enough to give you a starter>even if you somehow got a pokeball, you’d risk being (further) disfigured during every encounter>reaching the safari zone without a starter is impossible>you’d most likely stay home and cry about your problems online100+ replies in, STILL NOT DEBUNKED
>>55916894You just need to buy a shitton of Pokéballs and throw it at any Route 1 mon. Run away if you fail.Eventually you'd catch something. Use that one to weaken other Pokémon and you keep escalating from that.Pokéballs would be dirt cheap if the ₽ = 円 = ¥ conversion is real (which judging by the costs of things in the game, it seems so). So you could buy 100 Pokéballs for $130, that's pretty reasonable.You don't even need a starter Pokémon
>>55916894You simpering faggot.I used to catch animals with my HANDS back before I got sick.Mice, rats, cats, dogs, odd raccoon or two. Turkey, ducks, snakes.On the gentle side I have had squirrels and chipmunks climb on my shoulder for a tid bit of food, moths and butterflies land on my fingers and just vibrate I have pet a wolf before.Animals just want the same things we want, food, shelter, contentment. Routinely give that and they will reciprocate by not being hostile.Now combine these attributes to a creature that is nigh as sentient as we are and you start to understand why pokemon are often regarded as PARTNERS and friends.The ones we see going on rampages in the Anime and Games are either, Pissed at humans in general, sick, possessed by evil forces, starving, or are just mean themselves.Anyone here could be friend a mewoth or lillipup, old ladies would still sit and feed the Pidoves or Ducklet, tiny plant pokemon would frolick in the grass.And even in a desolate area like mine, rock and ground type would be in abundance.You have to get it out of your head that pokemon would kill you in the same way a wild bear would kill you.
>>55916967every single one of these was debunked anon, you just don't want to accept it.>no Pokémon would willingly want to be your friendheadcanon, pokemon are friends with assholes all the time>no one would like you enough to give you a starterthat's impossible to say as you may get one as a child or you may have bad parents that don't like you, no one knows>even if you somehow got a pokeball, you’d risk being (further) disfigured during every encounterit's not hard to get a pokeball, and early route pokemon have a 30% chance of being captured on first throw with full health>reaching the safari zone without a starter is impossibleheadcanon, of course there would be roads to get to other cities if the pokemon world was real, it would be extremely inconvenient to not have, even for trainers>you’d most likely stay home and cry about your problems onlineif all of these factors were true, yes, but they aren't, so most likely no
>>55916967I already debunked it by fishing, retarded nigger. You only need 6 magikarps in order to have yourself an incredibly sovlful team.
>>55906639I swear I've seen this post before. Anyways I reject your hypothetical and substitute it for my own
Buy some Quick Balls. 5x capture rate, run away if it fails. I use them on level 60+ fully evolved Pokémon in the wild area just to collect exp without fighting. It's like a 50% catch rate, even for really powerful Pokémon. Level 5 shitmons on Route 1 have a 90% catch rate with normal Poké Balls, 100% chance with Quick Balls. You'd have to be a colossal, drooling retard to fail at capturing a Pokémon.
>>55916967The games themselves debunk you because none of what you said is in them
>>55916998>>55917031>>55917039>>55917070>>55917155>>55917212He doesn't care what you say or think, he will always just say None can debunk him.He's just a twat looking for Yous nothing more.SAGE.
>>55917343i've said it before and i'll say it againnewfagscannotfuckingsageespecially not /vp/ retards
>>55909934HOLY SHIT
>>55906639I would be balls-deep in Pokemon Puss every night
>>55906639How does this thread ALWAYS cause so much seethe
>>55918500>Totally not OP nope.Stop talking to yourself
>>55918500Is there seething? All I see is a lot of people calling OP a retard in one way or another.
>>55918623Doing anything but affirming the retard is apparently "seething"
>>55915629nah My Gardevoir is turning your brain into soup and then stimulating my dick until I shoot ropes.And yes that's how it would go because it's my wish fulfillment retard. You already lost the moment you assumed you could invalidate someone's own imagination.
>>55918605>>55918623>>55919048seething
>>55916393Hi faggot >>55912411 here. Are you forgetting the fact that even if ylnobody likes you and wild mon are too tough to capture without damaging that you can STEAL A STARTER the way picrel did? Keep seething faggot, I'll be over here cervix slamming my sub lvl18 Braixen until she goes stupid.
>>55916124>full forceCaterpie is slow as balls and its max force would be laughably low
>>55915466>>55919173she looks like she enjoys headpatting and hand holding
>>55919723she does.
>>55919773Shame she isnt under level 18. Bit has hit the wall.
>>55912391>Men that rape should be killed. The fact that they had to commit a crime to get laid is proof positive that their genes shouldn’t propagate. Daily reminder that if you're an Eurasian, there's about 1/6 chance that one of your ancestors was a Turk/Mongol rapebaby, still wanna unintentionally remove yourself from existance, you cringe moralcuck?
The fastest way to the heart of any creature is through their stomach. Learning to cook and patience will pay off immensely if you want to befriend a Pokemon without a Pokeball. Just make sure they know who it came from.
>>55916393>pretty sure anyone ending up on 4chan could not be trusted with a living being that could pose a public safety riskI know you're trolling, and you're doing a good job at it, but 4chan is a fucking huge site. All manners of people are here. Some of us are doctors, lawyers, and some even have government security clearance(that aren't just here to be vanning us.) There are at least a few people here that are able to trusted with a bit more than the average person.
>ITT: OP bitches about being stung by a specs weedle
>>55906639>catch and train a scary looking pokemon>tell him to pretend to attack Lillie>"rescue" her from your scary pokemon>she now loves youAnd that's how you get a cute hebe wife and live your whole life thanks to her money.
