For context I broke up with my ex who i had been friends with for about 4 years around 2 years ago. I always had plans for getting a good job, studying and having a family but with her I felt more "free" since I had more experience/connection with her. Ever since it ended it feels like the only girl i'm going to be in a relationship with is someone that I can sort of tolerate just to get by while i focus on my career etc. It's probably normal to feel this way and also probably unreasonable to some extent but I do believe the way your first relationship pans out determines how the rest go somewhat. A lot of what I experienced with her shaped my personality and the things i like to do as well so that probably strengthens it
yes sorta. its obviously an imprinted memory. but people are able to find a similar connection
>>31274444No such thing as a "first" love. It is either your love, or a whore. If you didn't kill yourself within a week of breaking up then you did not love her.
>>31274444Why'd you break up? Sounds like you want her back
>>31274464we met based on a similar interest and the thing that made it work wasnt that we had a lot in common, in fact if anything we were kind of like the opposites of each other but we had an incredibly good chemistry together as in we could talk for hours about basically anything and somehow not get bored, just really enjoyed each other's companyeventually after like a year she just did a complete 180 and revealed a ton of shit i didnt know and became a completely different person i had to be super careful around. i really didnt like hanging out with her then because she was incredibly emotionally fragile and the exact opposite of the person i had been crushing on but i wanted to believe deep down she was still the girl i loved hanging out with even though i knew deep down that wasnt the caseafter a while things got more "calm" (best way to describe it) and eventually i confessed and that was honestly when our relationship was at it's most peaceful since it was like finally getting together with a childhood friend. We'd sometimes just lay in bed together all day and it was just us since we both didnt really know anybody elsethen after a while it started back but i was more supportive and tried my best to calm her down but her episodes would start randomly and sometimes i thought she was doing it on purpose. I think she was a very attention starved person to the post where she was addicted because it was implied her parents/friends neglected her. it got to the point where she tried suicide multiple times but she refused to go to therapy and i couldnt deal with it anymore. it didnt help either because one of my other friends at the time who was also friends with her mocked me for trying to help her (that's a whole nother story)
>>31274444First love doesn’t fuck you up for the rest of your life no. You get to an age where you realise your first “love” wasn’t love at all, it was just two retards drunk with youth who tried to make a crude dopamine high mimicry of love and it failed, as expected.
So the amazing weekend that I had planned with my bf fell apart because his wife snooped through his phone and she saw our messages. She blew up my phone screaming at me and blubbering, calling me an evil whore and a homewrecker. I put so much effort into preparing for a whole weekend with him, mentally, emotionally, physically and it all went to shit! I was devastated to say the least. I have been contemplating so many things this week. I feel like I'm choosing between staying with my bf, which is painful right now, and breaking it off, which would be monumentally painful. I love this man. He is the best sex I've ever had. Yet, I struggle because I know my worth. I know I deserve more than what he can give me. I was with bf because it worked and because I like my freedom too. I have no guilt for the situation. I just wish last weekend never happened. Yet here we are. How do I stay strong through all of this?
>>31274332Pics or it didn’t happen, faggot.
You a whorible person you deserve all the bad things I'm happy when people like you get caught and pay. next
>>31274371His wife is gorgeous, actually. I couldn't help but look up her Facebook profile and I was surprised he'd want to have anything to do with me when she's so beautiful. I realized later that he liked me because I was more attentive to his feelings and needs and that made our connection was stronger.>>31274414Of course I believe it. Nobody gets up in the morning wanting to be evil.
>>31274518Post the pics, RP fag. Screenshots and receipts or it didn’t happen.
>>31274518well thats just not true, plenty of people wake up with evil intent. but your statement was oddly 3rd person so i think that you are being disingenuous
The "I don't want to kill myself cause my mom will be sad" is now fading. I'm scared and happy at the same time? I've been testing the door and belt way. Seems like my mind doesn't really fight back to this method. Debating now where to do it when my mind is fully made up about it, but Where's a good location? motel? Home is out of the question.
>>31271999You did not consent to be born. Tell your mom to give you allowance money for Heroin and to let you be a leech. fuck the 9-5 rat race. If she says no then do whatever you want but you are kinda selfish if you don't ask for drugs to stay alive. thats what I did when I was suicidal and now decades later I just pretend I'm still depressed so I keep getting drug money and shelter so I don't have to kill myself as I get kicked out.
>>31273940Suffering to individuals who reproduce in this shitty world is a good thing lol
>>31272222Shut the fuck up, pussy. The world revolves around OP, as he did not consent to being born. if he is not happy, and via reason evaluation knows he never will be, then why shouldn't he end it?they said "Get a job or you're kicked out" I said I'm killing myself in 3 days I said I was just kidding and then I really did it.
>>31274437>I said I'm killing myself in 3 days I said I was just kidding and then I really did it.What the fuck do they have Wi-Fi in the underworld? Are you using a ghost phone to post here, ghost-anon?
>>31274461if I am Rigor Mortis I am dead. if I am manual breathing via a machine for a day I am dead. if I am not breathing cuz the Hydromorphone and Vodka combo I am dead.
In the Bay Area?In desperate need of cash and work asap because I'm also technically dying but don't qualify for disability.
>>31274036lol, american health system is so fucked.hope you get reincarnated as european.
>>31274104I had a great experience so far with it.>>31274101Why are you not eligible for https://edd.ca.gov/en/disability/disability_insuranceWhy don't you work for fast food?
>>31274112Somehow I can never land a Fast Food job no matter where I apply, not sure because my experience or lack thereof. >>31274104Wanted to move there to at least mitigate the need to worry about whether or not I'll have the money to take care of my health.
>>31274337You can't move to Europe, you need a visa, and you won't be able to get health care there without insurance, which you have to pay for. If you can't get a fast food job it's probably because you come off as lazy.
>>31274417ok
Is 5’10 (179 cm) heightcel height? Am I fucked? I can’t keep up with the psyops anymore.
>>31273804completely fine. can't you just google height stats for your country? above average would be more than enough.your social skills would be the limiting factor for you anyway, as you are on 4chan.
Height doesnt matter in real life. Maybe online because people are more shallow there but i've seen couples in public who are shorter than you and they're happy together
You know there are priests and monks living the most content lives possible in deep spiritual contemplation, completely separate from women and society. And here you are on a mongolian basket weaving forum agonizing over the approval of women and 2 inches you will never see.
>>31273804too short for dating apps if you aren't handsome, normal height irl
>>31273804Don't worry OP. 5'10 is tall enough not to be short. You're fine.
>work all day, come home too tired to do anything>on days off, stare at screens all day and gameall of my friends/old schoolmates are getting married, furthering their careers, etc. while i'm still living with my parents and working a part time janitorial job. i want a career, i want a passion, but i have no innate talents or skills, and i've been largely apathetic to everything these past 4 years. i can't help but feel like i'm throwing the "best years" of my life away. time is running out and i need to make a decision on what to do with my life.
>>31271969Bro thats life. Most people who work don't want to do shit when they get off work. You can go back to school part time but that will eat up ur days off.
>>31271994>How do you work all day if your job is part-time?i work ~8 hour work days. the usual times are 7-4, 5-2, and 1-9:30. i'm supposed to only work 4 days a week but since we're understaffed 5 days isn't uncommon.>Passion begins with curiosity: What would you like to know more about? If you are genuinely incurious then that's the problem you need to work on before anything else.i am pretty incurious, unintelligent, but also disinterested. it's like i have to force myself to be interested in something, which in turn makes me resent that thing. naturally, i gravitate towards video games. not sure if i'm actually interested in video games or i just play them because i have no motivation and it's easy to sit there and turn off my brain. i appreciate this reply though. >>31272007i don't have any strong interests in anything, but you are correct in assuming how i am. are career counselors expensive, have you met with one before? what's it like?>>31272058anhedonia would describe how i feel pretty well. i am skeptical of "professional help", because it seems the only 'solutions' to my problems would either be medication (expensive, bad side effects, possible neurotoxicity, etc.) or therapy, which i would not find very helpful. and from what i've seen online it seems a lot of therapists are pretty shitty at their job, or only caring about a paycheck.
>>31272793Your instinct to avoid medication is correct. Actual therapy would help you, though. If you can set aside a few thousand $ then they could fix you in six months. Therapy is very much a "you get what you pay for" kind of thing. Most people skimp, and get bad results. You don't need someone with a phd, but get someone who has done anhedonia cases for 10 years.
>>31274193not op but what do you mean when you say they will "fix" you?15 years ago when I was in middle school my parents thought I was autistic because I had no friends. they took me to get tested and apparently the only concern noted was "anhedonia". I've lived like this for almost my entire life; what could I expect from a few months of therapy?
>>31274322They could bring back the life enjoyment you used to have when you were younger. Whatever you were doing while "not having friends" will have been an emotional dampening/stupefaction mechanism. The point of therapy is to find out why you were doing it. Answers often come from unexpected directions.
How do I accept the fact that I’m not good enough to get a gf
>>31273006I’ve had dating apps for 3+ years, went on one date which didn’t go annywhere and fucked some other bitch. That’s it. Luckily I’ve pretty much formulated a plan for the next 10 years of my life >>31272983
>>31271818i agree with your statement, it's true that being pessimistic and overdosing on blackpills leads to nowherehowever, disregarding the fact that you, for some reason, have to improove to achieve something other people don't (and, in some situations, are worse in 1 or more aspects), the real problem begins when you have done the improovement, even going far and beyond the necessary, yet your situation remains exactly the samethat's when the real horror begins
>>31267673retard
>>31267628>how do i copeBy doing funner things. jerking off. or Playing Rust off Xanax or something; you can play high stress PvP games without being on edge You can wait for a slut to settle later if you're stupid or you can just accept that God's Plan wasn't for you to fuck women. That is assuming you're able to find happiness. If, at your core, you wanted a gf then you will never find happiness. if that is the case then just respawn blud but if you aren't a pussy you'll realize lots of drugs and porn is better. If you die in a car crash you can just start doing MDMA or Vodka or Tobacco weed or Flubromazolam or Heroin again in your next life when you respawn. in moderation those can be very safe. If you die in a car crash you can't find that same individual again.it is possible to manipulate your oxytocin receptors without drugs anyways. If you aren't happy sober, drugs won't magically make you happy unless you learn to appreciate them.Not sure why you'd want to actually love someone anyways. Not like you can put your wife in a ball that fits in your pocket for while you are at work so that nothing awful happens to her while you aren't there to protect her. Obviously God's Plan was not to fall in love if he gave free will to murderers too because if you're in love with someone and they die then you commit suicide. if you don't then you didn't love them.
>>31267628You’re not brave enough yo talk to enough women to get a gf. Go out expecting to get rejections, and be pleased about it.
Feeling kinda confused about why I keep thinking of this girl that I haven't talked to in three years. We had this whole summer love thing that ended on good terms. I thought I would forget about her after a few months but I still think of her everyday. It feels unhealthy, what do I do?
step 1) kill yourselfthat's all i've got
>>31272689Make new memories. She already has.
>>31272704>She already hasmemories of chad's BWC no less
>>31272704>>31272717I'm sure she's had some experiences since, but I know she still thinks of me. At this point I would be happy to forget about her and stop thinking about her.
Bump
Should I kill myself? Am a woman by the way
>>31274113It would be 100% if i believed in myself
>>31274111ok im going to walk away now! haha! have fun being an irl murderloli that i definitely have no interest in whatsoever
>>31274115I hope you soon realize you're a Queen
>>31274097you really just need some exposure to kinky people. you live too much in your head. you don't need to tell them all your kinks immediately. just say you are dom and interested in getting to know people in the scene.as soon as people suprise you with what they would like you to do to them you will switch your mindset.also you are a woman so you can even play the victim card as the abuser. don't be scared.
>>31274251LOL so they can laugh at me because im an anorexic twig and passive and silly retard irl that will make me look so pathetic (sadism unrelated to being pathetic and i enjoy acting retarded) but it will not seem that wayok i am actually working on it thank you i plan on becoming really charismatic so i can be like ted bundy >>31274124>>31274086
Should I tell my new girlfriend about my racism? She says she like that I'm honest so I probably should.Then I want to ask her if she had non-white boyfriends.
>>31274141Then you do you. Don't ask for advice if you've made up your mind already.
>>31274082Tell her immediately so she doesn't waste any more time on you.
>>31274160Post hand.
>>31274191Or nose
>>31274158Advice as to how to tell her would be appreciated too.
What kind of women are open to dating the mentally ill? Where are they found?
>>31272192Noooo bippies are cute. I love mine.
>>31270500>What kind of women are open to dating the mentally ill?The mentally-ill, morbidly-fat, hideous-child-scaring women of course.What advice do you want?Stop being mentally ill.
>>31272098Thats so cool. What kind of personality does she have? Is she outgoing? I have all those problems too so.. very hopeful, thanks.>>31272099Schizoaffective. I am medicated so I don't have any delusions or hallucinations, but I am eccentric in my thinking sometimes, but the real issue is >blunted affect: don't show as much emotions as normal people in my voice and face>apathy: low motivation or desire>difficulty paying attention>don't speak much>mood swingsIt's been a rough situation as far as my irl interactions with people so far
If you're an Albanian or a Turk then your parents will find you a girl to marry in your ancestral homeland, even if you're mentally retarded or a schizo. It works as long as you live a first world country. Your wife we'll be quite depressed though. I'm a psychiatrist and I've witnessed it many times.
>>31272192ASPD men are incredibly feminine and neurotic compared to healthy normal men, that's why women aren't into them.
Found out some Asian dude married an Asian slut who fucked a shitload of white guys in college.She an american-born chinese.Should I tell him or let him live in ignorance?
>>31273098In precisely what way is this any of your business?
>>31274175>the “hurr not your business” crowd has arrivedEvery single person who says this is guaranteed to be human garbage.
>>31273098if you can prove it, anonymously send him the proof. it's his choice whether to act on it after that. if all you have is "dude I heard your wife is a slut lmao" don't even bother because he won't believe you anyway.
>>31274186It really is nobody's business. Blurting out other people's sexual history to potential boyfriends is not only rude but a deep violation of privacy. Nobody's going to appreciate you being an annoying faggoty busybody because you're paranoid about getting cheated on and want to project that fear onto others like some overbearing helicopter mom who wants to mollycoddle her son into becoming a neurotic hypochondriac. If someone gets cheated on, it's not your responsibility.
>>31274186Unless she was an adult performer getting spitroasted every weekend, most normal people won't care. It's hilarious that you or the OP think that you have some blackmail material over the girl. Probably some bitter weirdo or a christcuck larper.If you're still here, faggot OP, tell us how many guys is "shitload" lol?
i spent my whole life sucking shit. in the past few months i became too successful. i am reluctant to say how much i make. i dont want to make anybody here feel bad or inadequate but i have to touch upon it to illustrate how badly it is fucking with me, and its not the only thing.im estranged from my family. i have no girlfriend and never have. i thought that if i was successful enough and made enough money that my family would be proud of me, that someone would love me, that everything would be different, but its not true. nothing is different except now i have all of this money to spend but nothing i buy can ever make me truly happy or fill the hole in my heart. even with everything i have i feel like i didnt earn it fairly through my own intelligence or competency, merely through personal connections, luck and another factor which i hesitate to speak about because you will think i am insane or lying.i should feel happy, but i dont. i feel guilt and i feel angry at myself for feeling this guilt. i know that people would kill me without a second thought for even a fraction of what i have. people would be elated to come into this, but i just feel depressed. its nice to have, but i feel like shit about it and i dont know why. the stress and nightmares i have are almost too much to endure. i feel like giving it all way or burning it and then blowing my brains out.i have nobody to talk to about this except my partners who could care less about my emotional problems and just want to talk numbers. a therapist would milk me and pretend to listen. the only thing i have for some relief is an ai.ive always had a vicious guilt complex and low self esteem. it feels like i dont deserve anything. i never imagined that i would feel this way because i never thought i would be in the position im in. i feel ashamed. i feel like ive neglected myself so much to get to this point, using drugs/alcohol, and that i could lose my mind at any moment.i just dont know what to do.
>>31273488You should try giving him advice next time, like going to a therapist
>>31268822So many retards on this thread.Make some friends in your income bracket.Seriously.Either join a club with the cash (U Club if you live in a city or some other reputable one) or go to a nice hotel bar and start chatting with the guys. You are lonely. You need companionship with people who understand your situation. You're rich (or at least well off) without the sociocultural circuitry to handle it. This happens a lot with gifted kids of lower-middle class parents. Socioeconomic culture dictates wealth is cause for embarrassment, etc. It's a trap.Do not feel guilty for your success. But you can't take that from me because you don't know me. I might be after your money!! Same reason you couldn't take it from a therapist or a woman.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>31268822I have an intuition that you should read Iron John. Look it up on YouTube, you can listen to it.Everything had to happen to form who you are today. Everything bad, and everything good.Accept reality and use your newfound wealth to experience life. Take care of your health and nutrition first, then try new things that you couldn't afford before. Or, just go out and socialize. Connect to others. You should have a baseline financial security confidence at this point.Accept your reality. You achieved it.
>>31273650Followup:OP feels empty because he doesn't feel connected to the world or others, thus the disconnect between himself and his good fortune.Solution: go do nature stuff, or get out of your shell and talk to people. Money can't fix social anxiety. Connection however can fix depression. Just talk to people, learn about them, get close to them. Money doesn't equate to a good life, your relationships with others and the world does
>>31268822Bill Gates made all the money in the world. And since then he has spent his life giving most of it away. He evidently finds that very satisfying.
I'm a homosexual, who used to be proudly open about it. But after sifting through all the media brainwashing, and seeing what the homosexual lifestyle was really like, I decided to suppress it. It's not hard to hide the fact, I don't have the appearance or mannerisms of a typical homosexual. But mentally, it is destroying me. Homosexual thoughts will be followed by this intense pain in my chest, my head involuntarily shakes, I start to lose my grip on reality. Is there no fix to this? I just imagine my future, and it's all a lie. A wife I don't find attractive, kids who'll have a father plagued by this disgusting curse. My present is a lie, acting macho and hyper analyzing my every thought and action to avoid detection. My best option is to keep on lying, and just let this pressure keep building in my chest. Is that all there is for someone with this disease? I feel like I'm going to die from a heart attack with all this stress and anxiety.
>>31273782You just have to be comfortable with people knowing, but just because you're a fag doesn't mean you have to act on it. Don't use women as beards though, that's stupid.
>>31273534"We suffer more in imagination than we do in reality" - SenecaYou don't have to suppress shit, but you're also under no pressure to live a life that you hate. As a fellow faggot myself, I find it best to just not think about the future too much and go with the flow, accepting that I'll end up in whatever relationship's the easiest, political correctness be damned. It removes a significant burden from your shoulders.Besides, at the end of the day, you're a human being with the freedom to shape your life to your heart's content and fight off demons as they arise, so realistically what's there to be scared of?
Homophobes dont be delusional challenge, level:impossible
>>31273586Try therapy bro. Look into HOCD
>>31273534>the homosexual lifestyleThe homosexual lifestyle, for 90% of homosexuals, is identical to the ordinary middle-class heterosexual lifestyle with the sole exception of who one loves. You have met tden eimes as many gays as you think you have, because they are indistinguishable from others. What you object to is the flaming-queen lifestyle, which is lived by a tiny (if very visible) minority.
If I'm white, but appear racially ambiguous/pass for other races, is it unethical of me to use it as an advantage and lie/say I'm a different race when it's useful?
>>31268563Ironically you could argue that communism works in a very enlightened high IQ egoist altruism.>Verification not required.
>>31268525Sadly a fact of life, my friend
>>31268905this.
>>31268905>>31272989t.
>>31268498if you can pass as non white it isn't a lie. you actually do have disadvantages that people who are 100% white passing all the time do not face.
