>>41052303
>rape

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>after winter wrap up comes shedding season
i wish to give the moonhoers her brushies

The best thing about RGRE is going to horse comic con and ogling all the stallions in skimpy cosplays.

>>41052445
Oh god I never considered spring shedding season. Pony fur would be everywhere. Your waifu would get loose fur inside the bedsheets and then you'll have to wash them.

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Remember to do cardio for your stamina gains, bros.

>>41053467
Remember to do strength so appul will call you 'stronger than a garlic milkshake'

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>"Buck me? Nah, Buck you."

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GUYS
WOULD YOU RATHER
BE STUCK IN A FOREST (SNOWY)
WITH A BEAR
OR
WITH A MARE

>>41054306
Mare 100%

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>>41052303
Do you guys think Stallions would be into reading "grisly" crime novels? Most woman today love reading about murders and mystery

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>>41054390
Why stop at murder mystery? Why not go all in on dime novels, like romance, medieval, sci fi, and western. Women like cheesy crap like that

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>We all know changelings are predators
>What with the predatory behavior, such as seducing or kidnapping poners to have their love consumed
>But I posit that the holes in their legs are not there as a symptom of malnourishment
>But instead, they are stealth holes
>Like a fly-swatter given bestial form, changelings can charge in and ambush their prey without creating as many disturbances to the air current as a solid limb would
>It also reduces air resistance and allows them push their top speed just a little bit
>I also argue that batponies are a changeling's natural enemy
>A changeling has black chitin that reflects little light, and their limbs have holes in them to reduce noise and shit
>They hide in dark places and excel in deception
>A batpony can use horse-sonar to spot them when they're trying to hide (either in the dark or in disguise), and the ability to swoop in on silent bat wings probably is pretty effective
Look at this scary fucker.

>>41054564
>something something RGRE
sorry, forgot that part

>>41054564
but holes make things whistle when fast reeee

>>41054656
Yeah well, I didn't think of that. So there.

Read this and had a chuckle.
>>41054551

>Rainbow Dash wants to do something big to woo Anon, and decides to create message in the sky.
>Flying at top speed, she writes in clouds, "Will you go on a date with me, Anon?"
"Wow, that's pretty cool, Dash."
>"Yeah it is, so what do you say, big guy?"
"After a display like that I kinda have to, right?"
>"Yes! I knew it'd be worth it! I had to chug, like, a gallon of water to do that."
"What? Like, you held it in your mouth and spit it out?"
>"..."
"The vapor trail came out of your mouth, right Dash?"
>"Um..."
"AJ's gonna be pissed you did that over her orchard. Literally."

Mares are gross sometimes.

>>41054670
>"...I thought it might impress you."
"How?!"
>"I DON'T KNOW!"

>>41054670
>>41054676
>hey check out how hard I can piss

>>41054670
Just wait until he learns about the waterfalls spilling off Cloudsdale.

>>41054688
The one right next to the sewage treatment plant?

>>41054670
Now I'm trying to think of moments where mares might do stupid, even gross things to try and impress Anon.

Dick pics, but...

>Anon opens his mail box and sees a letter.
>He opens it to see a blotch of pink ink that looks like... a pea pod with only one pea?
>Hot dog bun with a jelly bean?
>A weird flower?
>While trying to decipher the strange, abstract art, he notices writing at the bottom.
>Heya, Nonny! I was thinking about you all night and how you totally dominated in that pie eating contest!
>"Sure, I would have won if I wasn't banded from all sweet eating contests on account of how I always win, but it was still totally hot seeing a colt with such a healthy appetite and not afraid of not being all petite and stuff.
>It was a major turn on, and I wanted you to know how by how much, so I used some lipstick and made you this picture.
>That's right, Nonny, you got my lil' bean winking so hard for you.
>You like?
>My lips look super tight and juicy, don't they?
>Maybe you can come by and show off more of those pie eating skills, and in return, I'll show you how good I am at eating hay dogs.
>I promise I don't bite.
>I can swallow them down my throat, no teeth needed~
>Anon folds up the letter with a sigh and shake of his head.
"Yep, it's officially the first day of spring..."

>>41054870
kek
nice

>>41054870
Ponies have genitalia darker than their coats.

Not because of natural pigmentation, they're just always dabbing them in ink.

>>41054465
>>41054390
I think a story about secretly writing these cheesy novels would be nice. Reading crazy antics of Anon trying to keep poners from finding out he's the one creating them would be nice.

>>41054842
It hadn't occurred to me until just now, I haven't actually considered how a floating city would dispose of its waste. And there isn't anything ever being regularly removed from the cities except for the rainbow falls...

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>>41054870
>"Does this look like the face of mercy?"

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>tfw you thought your body was ready for your baby crazy husband
>tfw the spirit was willing, but the body can only rut for so long
>tfw you're tired mare

When will anon stop being a janfily and embrace being a house husban taking care of an army of foals?

>>41055666
Nice trips!
>Alicorn marriages are rare, but when they happen the alicorn transfers some of their magic into their partner.
>when both are alicorns this basically just tunes their magic to be more compatible with eachother, allowing for greater and more complex spells to be cast together.
>but if one of the partners is not an alicorn then they'll get a sizable boost in their life span and magical powers (depending on race).
>Celestia married anon sometime after flurry heart was born (and after a hilarious amount of outdated but somehow still functional wooing attempts from sun hoers)
>Anom gained some more strength, a more durable body, longer lifespan, and lots of stamina from the whole magic transfer thing.
>during the ceremony anon leaned toward his wife and whispered into her ear
"You won't be raising the sun until I've pumped atleast triplets into you"
>she mostly laughed it off as him being excited for the honeymoon (like herself)
>oh boy was she wrong, he was dead serious.
>not a single soul in canterlot slept that night as the pleasured screams of the sun princess filled the air.
>something something celestia was carrying 4 foals after that
>something something anon is now considered the prince of virility and constantly gets asked by stallions to bless their balls or something.

>>41056088
made me think of shrek the third
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8FdxevAH6w

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On tonight's episode of old prompt theater:

>Anon gets shockingly drunk.
>Licks the Elements of Harmony like they're one of those hallucinogenic toads.
>Becomes a massive alicorn stallion.

(imagine pic related with a horn and wings)

Ponies weren't much interested in the weird monkey before, but now he has hordes of mares lusting after him. How long can he keep his horse-virginity intact.

>>41054670
>>41054870
We need more stupid wooing attempts.

>Rarity has had quite a few crushes in her day, but being the perfect gentlemare has yet to work for her.
>As a matter of fact, being respectful, attentive, and generous towards stallions in the past has often just left her hundreds of bits poorer and still single while the colt in question ends up going home with some uncouth mare that treats them like manure.
>It's why, when Rarity begins to develope feelings for the clothes wearing Anon, she tries a different approuch.
>If being a gentlemare fails where jerks succeed, she just needs to be a jerk.
>She's even heard from famous pick-up artist mare, Medjool Date, that backhoofed compliments are key.
>"That suit almost looks good on you, Anon."
"Excuse me?"
>"I'm just complimenting your style. You've really mastered that, 'I don't care what ponies think of me,' look you've got going on."
"Hey! This was my dad's suit, and he had great fashion sense!"
>"Oh, I'm sure he did, back in his day. Of course now it's quite out of date. I suppose if you want to go for that retro look, it's alright."
"Class never goes out of style!"
>"Even wine turns to vinegar eventually, darling. Perhaps if you would like to come back to my place, I can make you something a little more up to date, unless you perhaps have a date with Granny Smith. I'm sure she appreciates that look."
>Anon, red in the face, no doubt in arousal, reaches for his ice cream Sunday- oh, that's a good opportunity.
>"It's also commendable you don't agonize over your figure like most stallions. There's nothing wrong with a little paunch-"
>Rarity gasps as the half-melted ice cream Sunday is poured out onto her head before Anon marches off.
Caramel off to the side cheers, "You go, Stallion! Fight the matriarchy!"
>A waitress comes up, glaring a little at Rarity who's too stunned to move.
>"I'm assuming you're picking up his bill? It's the least you can do for making mares everywhere look bad, sexist jerk..."

>>41055666
Reminds me of the green where Celestia is barren because alicorns don't have infinite eggs to go with their immortality, but Luna still has eggs left because the Elements restored her body after destroying Nightmare Moon, making Celestia envious.

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>>41056649
That just means you'll have to give Luna extra foals, so Celestia has a lot of nieces and nephews to dote on.

>>41056641
>>Rarity gasps as the half-melted ice cream Sunday is poured out onto her head before Anon marches off.
Anon is bigger man than I am.

>>41056641
I love the idea that the only way to truly offend Anon is to insult his suit.

Call him ugly, useless, a dirty green monkey, or anything else, but the second the suit comes into play, then it's brawling time.

>>41056729
>The waiter leaves the bill and you, Fluttershy, obviously pick it up.
>Despite Anon seeming bored you were sure today you'd get his attention!
>Lunch was only the start of the date!
>But looking down, you see...
>'Gratuity'
>You can never get this right.
>On the one hoof, the server was really nice and they even brought you your food! So they did a really good job!
>But only giving 20 percent sounds like it wasn't that good even though they gave you 110 percent service!
>Mumbling you let out,
"I hate tipping..."
>"Oh my God, YOU hate something?"
>Oh you almost jump out of your skin!
>Anon is practically glued to you! And now you have...
>His attention!
"O-of course I hate... Things?"
>Looking around you spot- Pinkie stashing instruments under some tables.
>Sometimes you don't like having to burst into song because you're in the middle of something more important but at the same time Pinkie goes through all the effort so-
"I hate breaking into song."
>He smiles at that, genuinely engaged.
>"I know!"
>You look around again.
>Twilight is outside, hurriedly rushing with several books circling her as she tries to piece together some solution to some problem.
>Not to say your adventures aren't fun or that they don't teach you anything but when giant creatures attack Ponyville because somepony does something so... so SILLY and endangers everypony in town-
"I hate the latest Ponyville issues!"
>"They're so stupid!"
>You've got him on the hook!
>And you hardly have to look around as your eyes fall on his suit and tie, far too formal for daily wear you're frankly unsure why he even bothers especially with the red considering not only is Anon lacking any real position let alone the fact he doesn't actually like drawing attention to himself it-
"I hate your suit!"
>Suddenly he deadpans, and slides back into his seat.
>"What now? You know what,"
>Just as suddenly he springs upright and steps from the booth.
>"I don't think this is gonna work out."
>D'oh...

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>>41054670
>>41054676
>>41054685
>>41054688
>>41054842
>Rainbows are sewage
>The entire city of Cloudsdale is eating more capsaicin than Mexicolt if their shit is spicy water
>Rainbow Dash just watched Pinkie drink some

>>41056649
The solution is for Anon to plap Mooncheeks so hard she has to change her moniker to Marscheeks

I asked last thread but does anyone know where to find more rgr/rsm content? I'm feeling starved

>>41056881
There's tags for it on Ponepaste. Fimfiction has some stories but there's no tag so you'll just have to search and read the description.

>>41056913
I know about that. I've read all the pony stuff and now I'm trying to find other communities online for sexist sexy woman

>>41056641
What about fighting someone for a stallions honor.

>The Foal Free Press' newest writer, Gabby Gums, has been writing all sorts of horrible things about the ponies of Ponyville.
>Twilight herself was even a victim to an extent when the jerk called her a snob and that she thinks Ponyville is a backwaters town, but compared to others, it wasn't that that.
>The article that her crush, Anonymous, wears two pairs of pants, with a second pair hidden under his first like some sort of weirdo, turned the poor stallion into a laughing stock, but has also given Twilight an idea.
>What better way to impress the stallion than to defend his honor by showing this gossiping mare what happens to those who insult her future coltfriend?
>It's foalproof!
>... Until it turns out Gabby Gums is three foals, and the sisters of her friends.
>She obviously can't fight a bunch of little fillies, right?
>She hears the voice of her grandma Light saying Sparkle's aren't quitters and they never let insults towards their stallions slide.
>Grandma is right!
>Twilight must do this!

"Oh my God, Twilight! You beat up three fillies?!"
>"Only a little! A-and it's only because they wrote those lies about your pants!"
"I do wear two pairs of pants and I didn't care anyway!"
>"Wait? Really? Why?"
"I think you should be more worried about going to jail. The ponice are looking for you!"
>"Oh... So is that a no on the date?"

>>41056849
God I miss when Left4Dead was still popular. I dumped so many hours into playing that game with a group of random jackasses shooting every red car they saw.

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>>41056881
I know of a couple outside of the pone fandom. The only two I know offhand are /trash/ stuff and tend to have mild to strong non-con/femdom elements to them. That anthrostate stuff is technically rgr, sorta? Stories tend to focus on the horrible abuse aspects of it, but a lot of them seem to have a "you're our fathers and lovers, you're meant to be protected and cherished, not abused" attitude among the anthro women characters. The other one is Daxy stuff. Space lizards in a setting where males are usually very uncommon, and Earth is a weird fluke where the gender ratio is roughly 1:1. The Daxy commit literal and cultural genocide, but they also firmly believe that a male's place is in the home and are genuinely upset that so many of Earth's militaries are primarily male. They'd literally take a bullet to save a male. Depends on what you're in the mood for. Apart from that there's also a tag for reversed gender roles on AO3 if you feel like that, but I have only one real specific example: Reverse World by Dictatelion. It's straight RGR, but it's also heavy on the incest. Again, pick your poison.

Frankly if someone else knows more general RGR stuff that they want to tack on, I'd be all ears.

>>41056881
Snekguy, Human Resources. Flocks of feather-lizards instead of herds of poners.

>>41056849
I-I just mean I hate your still wearing it and not in my bed
>smooth recovery fluttershy

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>>41056973
Out of Crule Space on reddit.
Spelljammer approximate setting, 1 male per 100 females.
Just past like +900 chapters, and a side story with like 400.
Literaly took me 2 months of listening on youtube non-stop to catch up. I mean 10 hours a day when I say non-stop.

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8qDRwtMWoiNX-iIRuJ2SxQLEBnRNhOGo

>>41057121
New 'non here. Before I enter that magical realm, is it any good? Stupid question, you listened to it for 10 hours a day. How good is it?

>>41057112
>she doesn't know the suit stays ON during sex
>or during sleep
>or during workouts
>or during showers
ngmi

>>41056913
>>41056973
There is a group for RGRE on Fimfic too.

>>41057285
>Anon, having just finished shaving his entire green head
>"Look Princess Luna, I don't know what you think fetlocks are, but-"

>>41057327
>Luna looks from the unshorn human and gasps even louder.
>"GASP! And that stallion is phallic-shaped! Tis a sex demon without a doubt! Quick bring forth the holy chastity belt from the royal vault!"

>>41057079
>Human Resources.
Hey I'm reading that one right now lmao

>>41057350
I like that one second only to Brokering Trust. The worldbuilding gave me a big boner.

>>41057079
>>41057350
How different are the two editions? Is bi just hetero with extra chapters?

>>41057358
Dunno, I don't read the bi editions. I took a peek into the bi version of Brokering Trust to see what was changed, and all that happened was that Selkie was turned into a guy, which I guess I should have expected from the beginning.

>>41057358
I pretty sure bi means guaranteed faggotry bro.

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>>41057332
Now that's my fetish. Now she'll bully my caged cock and fuck me with hers

>>41057332
>"that stallion is phallic-shaped!"
You are roughly cylindrical with a broad, flat head?

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>>41057138
•It has sparse lewd chapters.
•It has sparse gun porn chapters.
•It has a moderate amount of combat porn. The rational for piracy seems ok, but goddamn, every "branch" deals with outlaws, even on the central bureaucratic planet. The other common criminal theme is female pedophiles.
•mechanicaly speaking the author relies on the sheer scale of things/galaxy/population counts in the bazillions alot. There are only about 5000 humans off earth. Not strictly bad, but only one death in the side story so far. A bit of a streach.
•It has several story "branches" which are labled at the start of chapters.
•relationships start REALLY fast, but it's mechanicaly sound due to the 1 to 100 ratio, and some other scenarios. There haven't been breakups yet.
•It has some slice of life stuff, and my biggest gripe is that there should be more interpersonal relationship chapters, but I'm not the writer. I understand it becomes difficult when nearly every male basically gets a harem. One character marries a literal gang/co-op of 200 bee women. One of my favorite sub-chapters was the first story "branch" character sitting with one of his slightly retarded snake wives (in her coils) and just talking. •Most stories are the "branch" going on some adventure, with some slight half baked philosophy, without proper devils advocacy, especialy about truama. But again one writer writing a chapter nearly per day will have limitations.
•the magic and tech are "soft". Autists are literaly predisposed to being self taught wizards.
•They come up with new names for different races, and thier reference material is not good at clarifying, but you get to know the characters anyway.
•There is a constant background military excellence fantasy theme, basic grunts.
•The side story is slightly "worse" on the military side, going more marine "hoo raa!" and pilot characters as its on a commissioned merchant marine ship.
•the chapters focus on a short arc among different groups. It's more of a setting, than a single story. But all the events are referenced and used as things move forward.
•One of the main human factions goals is helping earth escape the negative space wedgie and that's happening in the background, but slowly. I can understand that one as it's not the point of the setting, and also worlds take time.
•There are some other side stories, but most are incomplete or utter shit.
•the autism doesn't seem to bad in the main story compared to much of fictions I've read online. Its a solid wish fulfillment, and I've genuinely prayed to wake up there, even as a slave. But that might just have been the sheer amount I consumed. The side story is slightly less sound in some minor places but still passable.

>>41057423
That sounds rad. Thanks, Anon, I'm going to check it out.

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>>41057441
Godspeed you poor bastard.

Every setting with the underlying theme of: "where females actualy like males" eventualy literaly physicaly hurts my heart, as I am a khv wizard.

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>>41057448
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.

>>41057448
>Every setting with the underlying theme of: "where females actualy like males" eventualy literaly physicaly hurts my heart, as I am a khv wizard.
Joke's on you, I already accepted my fate long ago.

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>>41057453
Me too

>>41057413
Luna's seen a lot of dicks in her time, she knows what non-pony dicks look like, too.

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>>41057463
Same

I think thats the result of having the internet, so now we can cross reference our conclusions faster.

>>41057468
Gonna be real, Anon, it sucks when you try to roleplay with AI and you can't suspend your disbelief enough to enjoy it.

>>41057471
Go roleplay with a real degenerate then.
There are plenty of site for that.

>>41057466
>Either you die innocent or you live long enough to see everything turn into dicks.

>>41056649
Link??

>>41057475
sounds like she'd be a fan of freud for all of the wrong reasons

>>41057079
Links?

>>41057496
https://snekguy.com/stories/pinwheel/human-resources/

>>41057352
Link?

>>41057500
It's on the same site as Human Resources. Check the links at the top of its page, use the dropdown menu.

>>41057423
>>41057441
He does have a bit of the tism able to be gleaned from the way he writes.

>>41057496
>>41057500
I'm just gonna link you guys straight to this.
https://www.literotica.com/authors/Snekguy

Click "show more" to get a read on what the author considers the chronological order for all his stories, if you care about reading things in order. All of his Pinwheel stuff is in the same universe.

>>41057546
I can see that, but I've dealt with worse. Nobody knows the dark, horrible things I read during my Harry Potter fanfiction period back when I was a teen.

>>41057550
Also he commissions various artists to draw cover art and pictures of how his aliens look, so don't look at his art on there unless you don't care if you spoil yourself.

>>41057352
I really liked his Ganymede worldbuilding early on. He does sci-fi shit well.

>>41057569
He really does. And I enjoy the creativity he brings to creating new species. I had been expecting Steven to fall from one of the suspended catwalks in his new office building, but the jumping (and naturally falling) limitations between humans and Valbarans was never brought up again.

>>41057448

It's even worse to think you've found someone to love who can put up with your flaws in exchange for you putting up with hers, only to be betrayed for some bullshit reason or another.

>>41057121
I can never really get past reading it.the premise is good but it kinda jumps the shark with some of its species being just pop culture references like the literal koopa women,xenomorphs,predators.but my biggest turnoff is the main male characters,they are all just the characters from that crappy new predator movie with the autistic kid.it gets grating reading it

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>>41057067
Thank you too everyone whose Givin suggestions. I can offer naught but this mare in thanks

>>41057834
Sorry your associations interfere with your enjoyment. It is autistic wish fulfillment.

>>41057024
>>41056849
>>41056641
moar stupid wooing attempts! I dare say that they both delight the senses and amuse the mind!
Moar, please!

>>41058510
>I dare say that they both delight the senses and amuse the mind!
I pictured a turn-of-the-century carnival barker when you posted this.

>"Step right up, step right up! For only one thin dime, you TOO can experience the health tonic of a lifetime! It delights the senses and amuses the mind!"

>>41058934
>"Out of my way, darlings!"

>>41058244
I know and there are chapters I thoroughly enjoy but that’s just how I feel.what makes it worse is the only other rgr story I liked a lot I can’t even find anymore and I don’t remember the name of

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>>41058229
>Be Anon
>Live in horseland
>It's not a bad place to life
>It's hard to buy meat, and you're legally not allowed to buy power tools, but you don't mind it
>The locals are friendly, if a little quirky
>Once in awhile, a monster comes and wrecks the place, but that really doesn't happen too often
>You've taken up crocheting with a bunch of the local stallions
>You'd go over to Princess Twilight's at least twice a week so she can poke and prod you
>The weird reality altering demon-thing named discord liked to come over to your house with Fluttershy and play board games
>You had a job at the post office
>Nothing too flashy, but you didn't mind
>A peaceful existence
>Then, without warning, another human appeared
>Their name was Sam
>They were a Zer/Zim
>Ares
>A pagan druid witch-something or another
>Just like you, zer--not she; she'd get extremely upset when you called her she--was confused about where zer was
>Also just like you, Sam was sent to Canterlot, examined, and integrated as best as they could be in this world
>You had attempted to be friendly, but were such down with such venom that it had concerned all the ponies that had been near you
>So much so that Twilight had come to you afterward to see if you had known her back on Earth
>It was fine
>You knew when steer clear of someone
>Quietly, you spoke with some of the colts in town to keep an eye out on the woman, or zermon, or whatever the case may be
>Sam then sort of disappeared from your life
>They were around town you guessed, but seemed to keep to themselves
>Again, great
>You were happy for her
>Zer?
>Zim?
>You had enough on your plate to deal with anyway
>One day, you had been outside Sugarcube Corner, enjoying a cup of coffee
>Staring at the market, no thoughts on your head
>Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam marching over to you with a scowl
>You expected a mean word or something, only for the zermon to snatch your coffee out of your hand and dump it over your head
>"That's what you GET, you fucking PIG!" had been her thoughts afterward
>The coffee hadn't been scalding, but it wasn't exactly cold, so it didn't really feel good, but you had been too surprised to really do more than sit there
>Unfortunately for Sam, the populace of Ponyville were much quicker to react
>You had never seen anyone be jumped so quickly and by so many
>Rainbow had come flying in from somewhere with a buck to the chest and then the rest had jumped on her while colts had rushed over to you
>The guard took their time breaking up the beating, and Sam was hauled to the horsepital
>As soon as she was declared stable, she was dumped into a cell, much to her dismay
>Apparently, it was massively illegal to assault a colt
>Sam, after winding up in a world where she thought her dreams would come true, had started rubbing the locals the wrong way almost immediately

>>41058621
Well, this IS a world where frens are directly proportional to magic power
>Flim and Flam are advertising the newest health craze
>They hauled a stage and a big... box... thing, it's covered in a tarp or something
>Of course, Caramel is already there
>He doesn't know what the fuck it is, he just knows he wants it more than he wanted those crystal urethral sounds and homeopathic ball soaks
>"Step right up! We've got the newest innovation in male health! Step riiiiight up, YOU SIR! Come on, don't be shy, try a free sample!"
>"Why yes, fine fellows, you know this distinctive creature- we just got here, he doesn't work for us! Come right up!"
>The crowd murmurs and you shrug, climbing the stairs to their little stage
"Might as well- just remember, I'm technically an endangered species."
>"Oh, nothing to worry about! Now, don't take this personally, but I deduce from your upright gait that you likely suffer from lower back aches?"
"Well- yeah, that's a- alright, I'll give you that one. So what's the fix?"
>Flam pulls the cloth off the big cube- a cage, now that you can see it
>A cage containing a very Rainbow-y looking Rainbow Dash
>"For the demonstration, we of course require a female volunteer- Say hello to your partner, Miss Dash- and Anon, I'll need you to really focus on what she's about to say!
>Rainbow gets That Look and starts waggling her eyebrows
>"PARTNER, huh? Heh, he can put a PART in HER!"
>Oh god that line was terrible and not even funny in a vacuum
>What the fuck is this feeling?
"What the fuck- my back stopped hurting!?"
>"IN-DEED it did! We, that is to say Flim and Flam LLC, have recently discovered a patent-pending method of stimulating the body's natural defenses!"
>Rainbow opens her fat mouth again
>"I GOT A DEFENSE YOU CAN STIMULATE, RIIIIGHT HERE!"
>The clouds of floaters in your eyes immediately clear up, even as your balls ascend back into your body
"HOLY SHIT IT WORKS JUST GET HER THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
>"Playing hard to get, eh? That's fine- I'll play with your hardness later!"
"TAKE HER AWAY BEFORE I RETURN TO A FETUS!"

>>41058934
Good god that ass

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>>41059138
>She tried petting a lot of them without asking
>Something you had been allowed to, being a colt and all, but not her, a full grown woman
>Her hygiene had also been an issue
>Horse noses were very sensitive
>Sam also had no desire to work or even provide for herself, which had annoyed her hosts to no end
>The ponies, already sort of xenophobic by nature, had started giving Sam a wide berth, especially when the colts had started whispering about her
>Sam didn't notice any of the negative however
>Zer was in the promised land
>Women were in charge
>Men were where they belongs
>All was great
>Until she noticed a cross on Derpy's neck
>You had thought it would be funny to "convert" the local populace, mainly by carving little wooden crosses and giving them out as gifts
>You weren't particularly religious, but you WERE a man in a native land
>Someone had to try to colonize the talking horses you supposed
>Who else but you?
>The horses were godless heathens that didn't get religion, but they still liked the gifts
>Sam had seen these and had been immediately triggered
>She was in a perfect world, and you weren't going to come around with your "Cucktanity" and ruin everything
>So, she'd figure she'd put you in your place
>Showed you where you belonged
>That had ended up with her having most of her bones broken, and Princess Twilight angrier than you had ever seen her
>The mare had been on FIRE when she had come to the scene
>The town had also come out to support you
>At all times, there was a colt or a few mares keeping an eye on you now
>They said you were so brave for persevering through "something so traumatic"
>It was just a little coffee you had said, and then found yourself talking to mares in fancy armor to see if this had happened to you a lot before
>You said some things, and those things were told to the princesses, half whom burst into flames in anger
>Guess your peace was going to be messed up for a good long while
>It was nice the town came together for you though
>It made you feel... wanted?
>Valued maybe?
>Sam did not take her incarnation very well
>She had immediately started to crack, and badly, so much so she had to be taken to a mental horsepital in a straight jacket
>You hoped she got the help she needed

>>41059192
A cute mare guard to protect me.

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>>41059138
That is a very cute picture

>>41059138
>pic
fuck, mang, you're making me nostalgic for Rainbro stories.

>>41059138
>Meanwhile, Anon's cousin 'Who-Dis-Bitch' has been surviving pretty well in Crete with the minotaurs by just not being a jackass

>>41059192
That's certainly a unique twist on the 'human woman punished for committing battery' prompts.

>>41059469
Ironic, because it made me angry. I do not wish to remember those better times

>>41054656
Sound wave interference to throw off bats when fleeing
Like moths with their wing clicks

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How do we feel about Tomcolts?
https://youtu.be/4tP7jaMKbVQ?si=aBX8gYFchB6cKQuh

>>41059680
FUCK and SUCK

>>41057546
You weren't joking about the 'tism. All the human males are hilariously armed and dangerous, and there's smatterings of characters doing things 'effortlessly' with a smirk on their faces. Other than that, it's inoffensive.

>>41059192
>in a straight jacket
She's angry about that, too. Why couldn't they give xir a non-binary jacket? REEEE!

>>41059772
I always read wish fulfillment as if every character is the writer. It even bleeds into the girls in this story. It's ok, its fantasy.

That way I'm never disappointed, and sometimes impressed when the story actualy has multiple different characters.

>>41059192
i want more of this, it's my kino please continue anon

Thread reeks of samefagging

>>41059138

>Their name was Sam
>They were a Zer/Zim
>A pagan druid witch-something or another

Hey, hey, hey, that sort of bullshit is Wicca through and through.

>t. modern druid

>>41059845
wat

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>>41059192
kek
very premium

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>You are Femanon, older sister to Anon
>Somehow, you and your little bro were teleported into a magical land of equally-magical small horses.
>It's been a few months, and you're both adjusting well; a lot better than if either one of you had been in Equestria all alone.
>Having another human with you, just by itself, was a huge relief and helped keep the both of you sane.
>Having someone around who understood how fucked up the gender roles here were was even better.
>Your littlest of bro's had someone to vent to about how everyone was a condescending asshole to him, and either treated him like a piece of meat or some kind of retarded child.
>In return, you had someone who understood how jarring the sudden change in expectations for both of you were.
>Don't get you wrong; you weren't some pampered princess back on Earth, okay?
>It just took a little bit of time to adjust to how.... rough the women here were.
>Neither you nor Anon got the short end of the stick on this one; you've both been forced into situations that you were wholly unprepared for.
>Needless to say, both you and Anon ribbed on each other and had the whole good-natured "now you know what it's like" speech.
>It's life.
>You-
>DONG DING
>Who where?
>You open the door and, using instincts built up from months of talking to waist-high ponies, look down towards your guest.
>To your surprise, it's Rarity; the local seamstress.

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>>41060077
>"Hello, darling~" crooned Rarity, smiling up at you, "I'm just here to deliver a package for your brother."
>You quirk an eyebrow.
"No kidding?"
>Since when does Anon have the money to order custom clothing?
>Sure, his job pays the bills, but it's not like a male in Equestria can really find a job much higher up than a secretary.
>Rarity just nods excitedly and levitates a gorgeously-wrapped package over to you.
>The design just SCREAMS "Carousel Boutique".
>"Oh, yes. Anonymous foal-sat Sweetie Belle and her friends on such short notice, and I decided to give him a nice shirt in lieu of payment."
>This whole exchange stinks of Animal Crossing.
>She covers her muzzle as she has a giggle m8, giving you a knowing look.
>"You should know better than I do just how important the latest fashion is to a colt, and I, well..."
>Rarity pauses to give herself enough time to roll her eyes.
>"Oh, I won't bore you with the details, Femanon. Most mares don't have the 'je ne sais quoi' that I have when it comes to fashion."
>Dammit.
>You were actually looking forward to hearing what Rarity had to say.
>She was the only other female in town out there (except for the gay ones) who had an interest in clothes.
>Rarity plops the package into your arms and turns to leave.
>"Just make sure that Anon tries it on, alright? He can come by the Boutique any time he wants to get it re-fitted."
>She stops mid-step and looks at you over her shoulder, slowly licking her lips.
>"...and I mean, 'any time', darling."
>And she's gone.
>You close the door and place the package on the kitchen table.
>You'll bet dollars to doughnuts that her cutie mark is stamped all over your brother's new shirt.
>You do your best to stifle your big-sister instincts and resist the urge to ask Rarity what, exactly, her intentions are with your little brother.
>You suppose it could be worse; at least she isn't asking for your "permission" to court Anon like Lyra did.
>Things are a bit weird here in Equestria, but you and Anon manage just fine.

>>41059141
>very forward mares are a cure for all ailments
I knew it!
and yet I still require more wooing attempts

>>41060077
>>41060080
>Rgre green
>With a human female
>Who is actually a functional adult and not a roastie stereotype
The fuck? Is that even allowed? Either way, please continue.

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>>41052866

>>41057067
Where do you find these? The daxy seem like an interesting read

>>41057861
Sexy space babes on the hfy subreddit is pretty good too. Especially if you like Amazons

>>41060080
>>41060077
>When someone remembers your silly greentext from 8 years ago

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>>41060622
it was a gem

>>41060624
2016 was a good year for the thread. oh god I started posting here 8 years ago, how did I come to spend a quarter of my life on a horse message board? it's sinking in, lads

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>>41055603
yeah! it’s also funny how cute you are

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>>41060657
>how did I come to spend a quarter of my life on a horse message board?
Nevermind that, did you enjoy it? Did you find people who were into similar stuff, people with whom you could talk and feel accepted, perhaps even understood?
Who cares about it being dedicated to a children's cartoon about miniature magical equines, what matters is having a place where, and people among whom you belong.

>ywn make a weary coworker realize that this magical place where she wouldn't feel out of place that she was searching for was there all along
>ywn open her eyes to all the friends that love her, and the job she bemoans being what she always dreamed about doing
>ywn comfort her as the realization hits her, smashing through the years of self-conditioning, then pretend like nothing happened so she can keep her mareish pride

>>41060742
>pic
He's literally me, except I never looked like left.

>>41056641
>rares tries negging with the one guy that would've genuinely appreciated a gentlemare
Shaking my head, rarity.

>>41059792
My particular brand of RGRE is one where clothing roles are still the regular.
>Damn mare, nice dress
>thanks sis, my husband got it for me
>good tastes, that stallion
And
>marely stallions wear dresses to "appropriate" the mare wear
>stallionly stallions wear suits and ties and shit
>a brawny muscular stallion with a butler suit and a nice bowtie is the RGRE equivalent to a 10/10 girl with a goth loli dress
>a really frilly wedding dress-looking dress is the RGRE equivalent of a really elegant suit
>a marely mare wouldn't be caught dead wearing a suit
>stallionist stallions wear frilly dresses and heeled horseshoes, cause that's what mares wear
Shit like that, I just eat that shit up.

>>41061166
>marely stallions wear dresses to "appropriate" the mare wear
>stallionly stallions wear suits and ties and shit
>a brawny muscular stallion with a butler suit and a nice bowtie is the RGRE equivalent to a 10/10 girl with a goth loli dress

>Male fashion is expanded upon
I honestly wouldn't mind seeing that. You ever see those awards ceremonies? There about about 4 suit designs split among all the men attending, and 30,000 different dresses on screen at any given time.

>>41060742
no

>>41059192
If Sam went ballistic because she thought Anon was spreading Christianity, then the obvious thing to do is to play it up. Personally show up at the horsepital to "forgive her like Christ would want". Maybe when she gets released, invite her as a show of forgiveness to a party with the rest of the town, where he breaks bread and serves wine and subtly preach in ways only she would get.

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>>41056641
>This would have been the first real date I've ever been on
>I would have spent hours if not days fretting over my looks and fashion
>Probably would have gotten a haircut and had my barber edge my beard and touch up my fade
>Definitely would have a compression shirt on
>Put money on the table and leave before anyone sees me crying

>>41061238
Anon and Sam have a whole Death Note battle, with Anon doing anything in his power to fuck with Sam and Sam knowing exactly what he's doing, but trying her best not to be a raging cunt would be a hilarious read.

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>>41059138
>Be Anon
>It was a week since in "incident"
>Sam was still in the loony bin
>As soon as she was fit to stand trial, you had been told Twilight would throw the book at her
>Metaphorically
>Sporkle would never throw a book at anything in her life
>The burns on the top of your head were in the middle of healing
>They itched like crazy, but you had stuff back at the house to help with that
>You had mistimed a trip to the store, just before a storm was to come through the town
>Normally, you wouldn't mind getting a little wet, but with your burns the water might not feel that great
>Rainbow, who was in charge of overseeing the rainclouds, had seen your predicament and had come over to help
>"I'm sorry I can't push the storm back a little longer, Anon. The brass in Cloudsdale hates when you miss a schedule."
"Oh, it's fine, Rainbow. You doing alright up there?"
"I'm fine. You're not getting any water on your nogging, are you?"
"I'm good. Those wings of yours are keeping me dry. Thank you by the way."
>"What kind of mare would I be if I went and ignored you? It's not your fault your head is all burned."
"I guess not."
>"Are all of your mares like that?"
"Not all of them. Unfortunately, there's a thing on my world called the internet. If you're on it too long it breaks your brain. That's what happened to Sam I think."
>"Yeah, well I'm sure a beating would help her out."
"No. Let her get the help she needs if she can. All of you beat her enough I think."
>Rainbow snorted
>You could feel her shift on your shoulders
>It felt like she was looking down at your head
>"Does it hurt?" she asked quietly
>You shrugged as best as you could
"Not as much. The medicine helps a lot. I just need to let it heal."
>"She shouldn't have done that to you."
"No, but like I said, her brain is broken. You can't blame crazy people for some of the things they do."
>You felt Dash puff her furry little chest out
>"I don't care how crazy she is, she's not doing that again," she said, as the rumble of thunder sounded from above
>You smiled
"You hungry?"
>"Always."
"I got some stuff to make pizza at home. You wanna go get your crew in the clouds? You can all some over to eat."
>Rainbow did that weird wiggle ponies did whenever you offered to feed them, which only made you smile more

>>41061559
>read green
>enjoy green
wow, I guess ponies are pretty cool, huh
that ending gave me Dashabetes btw

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>>41061559
That's cute.

>>41061277
>First date in Equestria
>First date in life
>The only mare who showed interest in you immediately started negging you
>Only wanted to break you down so that you'd have sex with her
>Joke's on her, she only got half of what she wanted

>>41061559
Fuck, that's cute.

>"I got some stuff to make pizza at home. You wanna go get your crew in the clouds? You can all some over to eat."
>>Rainbow did that weird wiggle ponies did whenever you offered to feed them, which only made you smile more
FUCK, that's cute.

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>>41061657
>>41061277
>the NEETmares' plan to herd up with the alien colt has a massive wrench thrown in the works because he went on a date with some necktuft dyke
>not because it went great and she stole him
>but because she tried some mental game with him and now he only wants to hang out with Caramel and Big Mac and Spike
>Goldie heard from the mailmare that he ran out crying all over the place like a sprinkler
>Anon hasn't been to game night in a month and Taku isn't sure about continuing the story without him
>the problem is they don't actually know where he lives, so they can't find him

>>41061889
>lmao at the gamer word zigger poster

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>>41061984
>gamer word zigger poster
kek I missed that

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Here have this shit prompt a made
>Anon gets a job working as a masseuse at Aloe and Lotus's spa after a recommendation from Rarity
>It wasn't Anon's first choice of work, but after months of being unemployed and most jobs in Ponyville being trade work no mare wanted to hire him
>Ever since arriving in Equestria Anon's been able to get by on government subsidies for stallions in need
>Even then it's just enough to get by and upon coming short for a new outfit Anon offers a Rarity a helping hand around her Boutique, it wasn't until she felt Anon hands on her shoulders did he quiet her protests
>This led to where Anon is now, taking what he can get Anon plans on doing his best to have a place to call his own
>Putting his hands to work Anon quickly earns himself a reputation as being one of the best masseuse at the spa, and receive high praise from his clients for his work
>Most mares who didn't know Anon, or who have never experienced Anon services for themselves, assume his high praise was because he's a male and his employers are just throwing him a bone when it comes to his reputation as one of the best
>It's not until they're on Anon's massage table, do they understand why he's regarded as such
>Mares come in hearing about the exotic new masseuse Anon and his magic hands
>But despite Anon's popularity and loyal clientele he makes loss then that of his female counterparts
>Though he's able to save a few hundred bits each month he's plans of living on his own are still out of reach
>It wasn't until Anon was working with one of his regular clinets did she ask him to put his hands to better use well vulgarly spreading her hind legs
>This wasn't the first time this has happend, normally he'd just twist their teats a little before reminding them them that this is a respectable establishment
>Now however Anon was at the end of his rope, living in his small appartment and on a fixed budget wasn't fun
>Weighing the pros and cons of the situation, Anon knows the mares he works with would keep quiet enough as to not get him fired, but would still brag to their friends
>Anon desiding to bites the bullet as he slides his hand between the mares legs, hoping the extra bits of income would be worth it in the end

>>41061166
Same, Anon. Hell, it even lends itself to reversed complaints about fashion utility. Mares can just yank a dress up to piss, stallions have to either bother with their pants or wear half an outfit. Mares' dresses look great with saddlebags, stallions suits come with tiny pockets with the understanding that your mare will be doing the heavy lifting anyway. Etc, etc.

Would a mare in a miniskirt with a tuft-enhancing vest be the equivalent of a Chad Thundercock in tight pants and a muscle shirt?

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repostin more old gems

“So, how’re things?”
>Fem sighs, “They’re… well, they’re things.”
“Yeah?” you say drawing the word out slowly.
>”I dunno, like… this place sucks right?”
>You can’t help but chuckle.
“Sucks? No! I mean… no… well, like it sucks eggs. But it doesn’t suck dicks y’know?”
>Now it’s Fem’s turn to chuckle, “Yeah I know, and I guess that’s pretty spot on. It KIND OF sucks. Like, I couldn't ever, EVER, imagine that my life would consist of being a trash collector as my profession.”
>She sniffs lightly.
>Oh boy, here come the waterworks.
>You reach out your arms and she leans forward into your chest and begins crying softly.
>”And I’ve got girlfriends and stuff you know… but they don’t want to talk about how much this sucks, they just… all they do is want to work so they can go home to their colt, or to drink if they’re single.”
>You rub her back gently as she mumbles out her frustrations.
>”They just call me a little colt, and tell me how it’s the way things are, y’know?”
“I know Fem, I know.”
>”I don’t know if I can even call them friends, right? They’re just so…”
“Different? I kinda know what you mean, my guy friends are very… well we’re into some very different stuff. They also get a lot more touchy feely too; “Anon, why don’t you ever open up?”” you say in a mocking voice.
>”Fem, by Celestia’s teats, just go get laid or something.” she mumbles out in a mocking tone of her own.
>She calms down after a little bit and leans back to sit up next to you on her couch.
“Hey, at least your job pays pretty well. Hell, you still make more than I do.”
>You’re trying to cheer her up, but now that you’re thinking about it, it’s actually making you kind of mad.
”I can’t tell you how long I had to look around for a job. Construction, trash, farming, transportation, anything manual got me laughed out. Then anything else grilled me during the interviews, “A single stallion? Are you sure you shouldn’t just try finding yourself a herd? This job can be very time consuming.”"
>Fem hums, “Yeah, I’ve had something like that before back home.”
“Then I finally land my job, and I bust my ass everyday but it’s like I’m more of a novelty there. It was really clear to me when that damn-“
>”Perkins.”
“Fucking Peppy Perkins got that promotion instead of me! Even my coworkers, who are usually more interested in talking about my junk when they think I’m not listening, were calling horseapples on that,” you say, throwing your hands about in frustration.
>”Heh, Oh I definitely know what that’s like.”

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>>41062179
>You sigh
“Right? And I mean, it’s not really like I needed that promotion anyway. Now that I’ve got my herd I don’t even really need to work, I’m sure some of my mares would prefer I didn’t but… I just can’t stay at home y’know? I’d get SO bored.”
>”Yeah, YOU would. I’d love having a whole group support my lazy ass.”
“I bet you would Fem. It’d probably make things easier if I didn’t work. I get home and some of my mares are done working, have been for a few hours, but is there any food cooking? No, of course not. So I still have to slave over a hot stove making enough to feed six because they didn’t feel like doing anything “because they work SO hard.””
>Fem squeezes your wrist firmly, you look at her and roll your eyes to let her know that you’re just bitching and that it’s not really a huge deal.
“Then I’m sweating away, still in my work clothes mind you, and at least they come in and nuzzle me or something, maybe rear up and kiss my chin, but then they’re like “Nonny, you work way too much. Why don’t you take a little break?” Like I could. If I did that the whole house would be a wreck.”
>”Least you have the option to take a break, or some company…”
>You take her hand in yours and give her a little squeeze back.
“Psh, I get the option and the company, but it’s really like a second job with those girls. And don’t even get me started on herd life.”
>”Is it that bad?”
“No, it’s not THAT bad… I’ll tell you though I’m really glad we added Lyra in, having a unicorn is awesome! She can cast a frost spell to keep the room cool all night, before that it was just awful trying to sleep. It’s like sharing a bed with four Saint Bernards.”
>Fem’s face twists into a look of disgust.
“Yeah. Very uncomfortable, and- oh! And then during Estrus season…”
>”Ooooh, yeah… It gets really bad at work. They way my coworkers talk about the stallions we pass by, it’s disgusting. They treat them all like meat during estrus, and the smell… th-they’ve even talked about you before. Like I want to hear them talk about your junk.”
>You chuckle.
”Yeah, speaking of actually. Those girls are insane during their heat. Like it’s fun at first, but then after a while it’s like, the mind is willing but the flesh is spongy and raw.”
>Fem slugs you in the shoulder, “C’mon, I just said I DIDN’T want to hear it.”

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>>41062184
>You both chuckle together for a moment.
“Hey, come on now. What about you? What about that Time Turner guy?”
>”Yeah… he’s cute and all but…”
“Well, they’re all really cute, but yeah he’s a pretty nice guy. I hear anyway.”
>”He is… but apparently a herd from across town thought the same thing… and obviously I don’t have as much to offer as they do, which I never really thought about y’know? “Having to offer something," other than my company in a relationship but…”
“Yeah, Equestria right?”
>Fem sighs, “Yeah… I dunno, the whole herd thing, I don’t know if that’s FOR me.”
“I thought the same thing before mine approached me, for all my bitching it’s really not so bad.”
>”Yeah, but you’re the center of it. I get to be the outer edge,” she grumbles.
>C’mon man, cheer her up.
“Hey y’know what? Bonny is thinking of hiring someone for her shop. It probably doesn’t pay as good as your current job does, but it’s inside work and candy is basically the opposite of trash so…”
>”Yeah?”
“Yeah. Now, she can be kinda… she knows what she wants out of an employee, but she’s a fair girl. And If I’m talking you up, she’ll probably go easier on you than anyone else. There’s plenty of mares and stallions that drop by her shop… you could meet a herd or a stallion maybe?”
>Fem smiles at the notion, “It probably would be easier to find someone or someones if I wasn’t working where I do now… you would ask for me?”
>You smile back.
“Totally, I’ll talk to her when she gets back from work.”
>You glance down at your watch.
“Oh, speaking of, I should probably head back. Gotta pick up some groceries before the stands close for dinner tonight.”
>You stand and Fem guides you to the door, you both embrace and she rubs your back while you squeeze her tight.
>”Drop by more often, Anon.”
“I will, I will, things were just a little crazy this past year, y’know?”
>Fem kisses you on the cheek, “I love you bro.”
“I love you too sis.”
>You wave each other goodbye as you walk backwards towards the direction of the markets until Fem shuts her door.
>Don't forget the eggplants this time, ‘Non.

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>>41056641
>rarity drops the ball no cap on a level zero gyatt because she was sussin and activated her marecel mode ohio skibidi rizz

wizard Anon shows up in ponyvile, equestria, with wizard tower and everything, has an idea. Yells that he is an EVIL WIZARD, on vacation and he just wants to pet ponies, and relax what happens?

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>>41062179
That is cute.

>>41062190
Would be hard to watch my sister struggle and I can’t help.

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>>41062190
frostybox, my beloved...

>>41062110
RGRE must be hell for tomboy appreciators

>>41062477
>lift up Ponkapo and she giddily wiggles and writhes innocently, but you see her pink plump pony pussy and large teats jiggling just above you while you do so and she doesn't notice or care cause she's too innocent having fun
>Feel embarrassed and find yourself thinking about her as more than a friend
>Turns out she likes you like that too and has for awhile, and she caught you ogling her and felt flattered and very turned on
>She descends upon you, intent on claiming such a perverted male who would no doubt do the wild fun sex she craves in a partner

>>41062097
lood

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>>41062477
>tfw never ever gonna read a fresh Frosty green again

>>41063193
Truly a symptom of the times. Much like the Ketchup Incident being people notnunderstanding it's being cranked to 11 for a laugh, people couldn't see (or accept and wait out) that Anon being gender swapped would be explored, it would be seen Anon was not benefitting for this and Flutters would feel bad, then Anon would be changed back.
No patience, no ability to reason that, just maybe, Frosty wasn't trying to inject tf stuff just to do it.

>>41063227
I remember that. The day the reeeeeetards screeched one of our earliest and best writefags out of the thread, I knew it was the beginning of the end. At least recovered, other threads like /irt/ died because their residents couldn't stop taking the bait.

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>>41063232
>>41063227
>mfw watching /nmp/ become a shambling corpse after the great 'tism schism

>>41063253
It's the ultimate fate of any long-lasting threads in a board full of autists. It was always going to happen.

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>>41063256
All my favorite threads fell to entropy, yet /ptfg/ remains alive. They made a shady deal with Discord but became infused with chaos.

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Twilight's out for two things: eating fat hayburgers and medically examining the alien male.

>>41063752
I'm out for two things: a green about that and a finished green about that

>>41063752
>Twilight's brand of flirting
>She gets a hayburger with a date, removes everything between the buns, and puts the buns on either side of the colt's hips

>>41063793
>Didn't go for a haydog joke.
Ngmi

>>41063909
But if you separate the hotdog bun and put it on either side of the hips then it wouldn't be a functional hotdog bun anymore, silly, and the "hotdog=dick" imagery wouldn't be as obvious. And we all know that stallions are simple creatures, and if it isn't obvious then he'll just get confused.

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>>41063919
Hotdog dick jokes are food jokes 101. If a stallion is going to get any food joke, it will be that one.

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>>41061559
>Be Shining
>There was a problem in Equestria
>Apparently, there was a monster in Ponyville
>The guard couldn't stand against it, nor could the alicorns, or even the elements
>Everything they tried bounced off it's hide or just made it more upset
>Out of desperation, Discord was sent in to "fix" the problem, only for the spirit of chaos to take one look at it and snap back to the chaos realm
>Human it was called
>It hadn't seriously hurt anypony, but it had destroyed a few buildings
>The mares had gotten together and were thinking themselves senseless trying to figure out what to do
>You attempted to ask a few questions about the situation--being the ex-captain of the guard you might have some opinions mind you--only to be shooed away
>They'd figure it out, you had been told
>Go and cook dinner or buy a suit or something had also been thrown into your face
>That you didn't care for
>So, you packed a bag for Flurry and yourself and took a train down to Ponyville without a word to anypony
>When you got there the town was empty, save for some guards
>They had tried to argue that this was no place for a colt, let alone an infant, but you had ignored them and calmly asked for directions for the monster
>They were somewhat resistant, but you were a crown prince, and HAD been their boss not that long ago
>In less than five minutes you were trotting toward a local grocery store
>There you found the monster, making itself a sandwich
>It was awfully big, and scary looking enough
>But you knew from how to made his sandwich that that was a him
>So, you did what seemed reasonable
>You walked over and plopped your little girl into his massive claws
>The human tensed, too surprised to do much of anything but look down at the bundle of fur in his claws
"She just turned one a few weeks ago," you said. "Say hello to your new friend, Flurry!"
>Your little girl began to babble, reaching up to the human's face with her hooves and wings
>In no time at all you were leading the human back toward the guards
>He was as docile as a lamb, carefully holding your little girl
>His eyes, which had been savage as he had eaten, were soft and kind as he looked at the filly
>You had a feeling that your little girl was currently the safest foal in Equestria at that moment
>The guards' eyes nearly popped out of their skulls when they saw you walking toward them
>It was hard not to laugh
>War rooms and battle plans was all well and good, but there were better ways
>You might not have been a hero like Twilight, but you knew when a stallion's touch was needed
>You couldn't wait to tease your wife about this

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>>41064199
Is he really even that big comparatively? I put him at, what, maybe twice as big as the average poner?
Besides that, I'd be pretty pissed too if everyone kept fucking with me when I'm trying to eat.

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kek

Saw a song about drinking apple cider wrongfully making guys look feminine and made me think of RGRE.

So, if hard cider is the drink of mares, does that mean beer would be the coltish drink? There's a line in the song that fits, "Won't catch me necking liquid bread."
Liquid bread is a good thing for mares to call beer, especially in reference to sandwich bread.

>A real mare drink rotten fruit, only stallions drink the frou frou beer. They're so used to making sandwiches for us that they can't stop thinking about it even when they're drinking.

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>>41064199
>"I can see by the cut of your sandwich that you are a proper male."
fucking kek

>>41064445
She found the tar pits

>>41064506
I would think beer would still be for mares, but it would be seen as more of a cheaper option than cider due to the cheaper and more easily stored ingredients. Stallions would go for wines.

>>41064288
I mean, imagine meeting a 4m tall dude, you'd be spooked too.

>>41064199
Uhh why did you link this to this post
>>41061559


I don’t see how they are related.

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>>41065319
>Imagine meeting a 4m tall girl
Ftfy, my dick would be spooked, and by spooked I mean diamonds.

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>>41065319
But they already have shit like griffons and minotaurs.

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>>41065614
RGRE Minotaur: mares get locked in with the deadly Man-O-Taur, halfbreed son of Queen Mina.

>>41059192
>Timy shrimp dick energy conquistador larp shit
>With a side of "lol, pathetic waste of life libfags"

Tired of this desu

>>41065738
dont you have a feminist dance theory class to attend

>>41065614
Griffons are about the same size as a pony, and they did seem kinda intimidated by Iron Will, even before he spoke.

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>>41064199
>Be Twilight
>Be absolutely terrified
>The human was here
>In the room with you all
>A greater demon of absolute destruction
>Flurry's Shammy was sitting on top of its head
>You were in its lap
>Shining was seated right next to you, changing Flurry's diaper without a care in the world
>Everypony else was in the corner of the room, as far away from the world-ending monster as they physically could while also being close to "protect" Shining and the baby
>Protect against a creature who's skin the elements of harmony just bounced off of
>Apparently, this human spoke perfect Equish
>His name was Anon, and he really wasn't very happy with any of you
>What with continuously attacking him and all
>When you saw him lumbering toward you, he looked like he wanted to kick you to the moon
>Thankfully, Shining was able to smooth things over
>Mostly
>The little wrinkle was that you had to sit in his lap and let him tap your hooves together
>He had to do it
>If you did he'd get viciously angry, and only Flurry would calm him down
>He was watching your hooves intently, seemingly to delight each time he made the clop sound
>He would do this in between bouts of playing with Flurry
>If you attempted to get off his lap he'd also get upset
>You had been here for three hours
>This Anon didn't seem keen on letting any of you go either
>The worst part was you could see the gleam in Shining's eye as he looked at you
>The colt was gonna be teasing you about this until you were eighty
>...
>You were starting to see the appeal of the clip-clopping to be honest

>>41066300
>>The little wrinkle was that you had to sit in his lap and let him tap your hooves together
>>He had to do it
>>If you did he'd get viciously angry, and only Flurry would calm him down
>>He was watching your hooves intently, seemingly to delight each time he made the clop sound
kek

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>>41066300
>Anon 2 spends 12 hours explaining the lore of 40kringe to Twilight
>"So, this is the world you come from?"
"No, it's the story of a long series of books that explain the plot of a very complicated and unimaginably expensive board game."
>'greater demon of absolute destruction' Anon loses credibility

>>41066756
>"No, it's the story of a long series of books that explain the plot of a very complicated and unimaginably expensive board game."
>Twilight "who wants to hear about my level 12 oath-breaker paladin" Sparkle feels her ovaries twitch

>>41066763
Do ovaries do that? Do they experience seizing ovaries?

>>41066774
No, but Twilight's just that horny.

>>41066763
>>41066774
>>41066793
She magically fondles her ovaries from time to time.

>>41066763
Her eye will be twitching too once he gets to the topic of retcons.

>>41067173
cute bulge

>>41066300
That would be so satisfying, I gotta say.
>*clop*
>...
>*clop*
>...
>...
>*clop*

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>>41066841
Don't get me started on hating Games Workshop

>>41067345
>pic
fucking kek. All I know about warhammer is that orcs are make-believe wizard-barbarians, they reproduce via spores, and the human's spaceships are so incomprehensibly large that sometimes there are lost civilizations in the lower decks where people have been there, disconnected from the rest of the crew for so long that society just sort of... reset? It sounds like the sort of thing I'd really be into, but it also sounds like a bunch of really stupid bullshit.

>>41067173
I want to pet this creature

>>41067451
40k is an absurdist comedy setting where everything is so absurdly, stupidly evil that it stack overflows back to being fucking hilarious. Anyone who tries to claim otherwise is a fucktard. It's two kids smashing GI Joes together in the backyard, constantly coming up with new bullshit reasons why you totally missed that time, except these two kids write the official lore so now Cobra Commander is protected by the actual Jormugandr and can call upon his dread powers at the risk of boiling his eyeballs.

Why the hell is it called Warhammer anyway? Do they still use war hammers?

>>41067914
40,000 years of societal advancement has naturally caused languages to change as well. "Warhammer" is new-English for "hammer of war". I hope that answers your question.

>>41067173
GIWTPWM

>>41067917
Incomprehensible
>>41067947
"god I wish to pulse width modulate"?

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With all this talk of hammers and war you fags are going to turn on the guardsmares.

>>41068132
She's using an anvil as a fucking hammer... That goes hard.

>>41067914

In the original Warhammer Fantasy (fuck 40-derp), the chief god of mankind wielded a big-ass warhammer during his physical incarnation. Hence the name.

Since GW had a lock on the miniature wargaming market for ages, they didn't bother with creative nomenclature when they wanted to do a space battle setting.

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>>41068226
>not liking 40Kringe

>>41068316
>tyranids
but why

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>Be Applebloom
>You had just turned eleven
>You were a big girl now
>No more baby nonsense
>You had to be a mare now
>Think about starting a family, and taxes, and being mad about politics
>You still didn't rightly know what politics was, but boy did it upset your big sis
>Being the big girl that you were, you were walking through the market all by yourself
>You wanted to go to Bonbon's stand to get some big girl candy with the bits you had gotten for your birthday
>You were nearly there when you saw somepony out of the corner of your eye
>It was Anon
>He was propped up against an oak tree, sleeping
>He liked to sleep outside a lot; doing so for years
>Mrs. Twilight said he needed more sleep than a pony
>For most colts, it wouldn't be safe to be sleeping out in the open like this, what with the gryphons flying around and whatnot, but Anon was BIG
>Strong too
>Once, you watched him grab a filthy bird by her beak and throw her upward
>...She never did some down
>Folks figured he was as safe as can be, so they left him alone
>Except the foals of course
>You didn't know when it started, but fillies and colts would go over and lay on the big alien and nap
>He was big, and he was cooler than a pony, and he smelled nice, which meant he was a prime makeshift bed
>You had done it all the time
>When you were a baby of course
>Not the grown mare you were now
>Grown mares didn't snuggle with colts out in the open where Celestia and everypony could see them...
>Yep...
>...
>It looked like Anon was free at the moment
>Normally, fathers that were at the market would leave their foals with him, so many that there wasn't a spot to lay, but not now
>You could pick any spot you wanted...
>You took a half step toward, but then stopped
>Nope!
>NOPE!
>You were a big mare now
>A big MARE!
>You were done with that nonsense
>With a nod, you turned, ready to go get your candy and go home, when you saw Diamond and Silver Spoon trotting from the market to the oak tree where Anon laid
>Behind them were your other classmates, and some of their younger siblings
>You looked at the crowd, then did the math in your head, bolting toward the tree as well
>You heard Diamond let out a squeak when she saw you
>The filly dug in her hooves, running to get the best spot
>Unfortunately for her, she was a yuppie with lama legs
>You got there first, burying your face into Anon's chest
>Anon cracked open an eye to stare down at you as you nuzzled your cheek against his chest
>Maybe you could be a big girl next ear?

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>>41068433
das cute

>>41068170
She's a big mare and got tired of other guardsmares calling her a fatbody. What better way to prove you're not letting yourself go than by carrying around an anvil all day?

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>>41068330
>coolest models
>easiest to assemble
>most fun to paint
>simplest lore
>can only be defeated with plot armor

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>>41068433
>>Once, you watched him grab a filthy bird by her beak and throw her upward
>>...She never did some down
oh my god

>>41068226
That sounds like what gloryhammer was going for

>>41068433
>tfw never ever

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Do crow griffons have it harder in RGRE than other griffons?

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>>41068132
Not really into OCs, but she's been my favorite for a long time
>>41068170
What's crazy tho is the fact there's a chain attached, which means she could be using it as a flail

>>41069052
Huh. I have never considered the possibility of griffons having sub-species based on different bird types.
>imagine an Owl-Griffon waifu. Large wings, very protective, insanely silent/sneaky, looks you in the eyes while you plow her from behind
I see potential there

>>41069052
>ywn train your crow/raven griffon waifu to fetch shiny rocks for you
pain

>>41069199
>What's crazy tho is the fact there's a chain attached, which means she could be using it as a flail
>Forge Blaze is traveling with a group of other ponies (I know literally nothing about the character) on a snowy mountain
>Whoopsie poopsie, she drops her hammer down a crevasse
>Takes her party an entire cold, miserable day to get it back
>They demand that once she gets back to town she get the fucking thing chained to her armor so that this never happens again
>Forge ends up practicing using it as a flail just to save face

>>41065774
I'm tired of seeing all these masturbatory fantasy excretions. All this "board culture" is just so ugly. I love the setting of Equestria & RGR, but if I were to undertake a creative work, like writing a story or making a game, I could not stand to make it about: Anon, greentexts, "oh my Faust!", some weird aire of anon being hyper competent despite having the character of a loser, etc.

All these products of board culture are just so stale, that they turned to rot at this point. That's why no one has made a pony themed game in like a decade. We gotta rejuvenate all this, and it wouldn't hurt if you were more critical of what you reinforce when you post

>>41069628
I thought it was so she could throw it into somepony's face, then pull it right back, like in Fire Emblem.

>>41069814
That came later, when she lost grip of her hammer mid-swing.

>>41069809
>the character of a loser
So, there's two options here. Either you've changed the subject, or you're still talking about the shrimp dick conquistador larp.

So, this anon is not hyper competent. He bathes, maybe, but we don't actually know what "hygiene" the horses like, so maybe not. He was allowed to pet ponies because of their gender norms, not because he did anything special. He's capable of attempting crochet, though there is no statement on the quality of his work. He "has a job at the post office," but he describes this as peaceful, so he is probably not doing deliveries, at least not ones outside of town.

Lastly, he's capable of creating a cross on a string. His best skill is being calm and correctly determining what things to care about so that he can be happy and make people happy, and he has very basic conversation skills.

In other words, you're talking about some larger thing that doesn't neatly apply in this case.

While everything here is fantasy and even masterbatory, that term generally involves self-aggrandizement and, as you hinted at, competence. It involves feel-good things without any meaning, generally repetativly. Anon here only appears good by comparison to a walking stereotype.

On top of that, competence belongs in stories. While it's normal to have people in stories have flaws so that the story can show the problems with those flaws, it's completely nessiarry to show virtue and the benefits of those virtues, basically for the same reasons.

So, we come to the point. We should be critical of what we reinforce. You should be critical of what you reinforce.

You stared with a good point. Anon set up a scarecrow and half the story was watching a swarm of ponies react negatively to them and then beat the shit out of them. There's a critique there and there's something kind of tiresome about it. I personally think making the crosses is cool as a little joke, no different from getting a small kid to curse in a foreign language, or sweetly asking a dog "Who's a stupid fucker? It's you, yes it is." If his internal monologue didn't directly treat colonization as a biological necessity, it would have been cute.

But, when questioned, you didn't bring that up. Instead, you brought up your real emotional motivation, which is that you can't stand when people you don't like are depicted as being "competent", which just means cool in this case, because he's just cool. "I don't like that guy and so only bad things should happen to him" is a shitty critique, and the kind of critique that almost everyone would rather ignore than spend time slowly correcting like a right and proper autist.

So, go ahead and tell me that I'm off base because you were off topic.

>>41069809
ok

>>41069890
None of this really belongs in a short form shitpost greentext, either.

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>>41069052
I imagine corvid griffs would comprise the majority of the nerds in griffon society, so that might be an obstacle to their mating chances Long as I'm not there, of course

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>>41069809
>I'm tired of seeing all these masturbatory fantasy excretions
>if I were to undertake a creative work

>>41070028
>>41069891
>>41069890
Yeah, I know I come off as an asshole, but is my point wrong? How many stories or greens you've read that can't be summed up as "Mares in ponyville lust/fawn over after Anon"? Doesn't this feel stagnating? Wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air if literally any of this changed?

What if there was conflict between ponies and the protagonist? What if the setting was not ponyville, but something different? What if instead of Anon, it was literally anyone else, literally any kind of character? What if the story was written in normal prose instead of green text?

I don't mean to pick apart the green text in this thread, I mean to ask: wouldn't it be refreshing if the green texts were more varied?

>>41070028
ignore the bait. it's an obvious outsider stirring the pot like trenchfag used to do

>>41070076
I actually agree with you, mostly. I'm trying to give my stories more plot outside of "Anon gets into sexy shenanigans." I don't write rgre, though, lel. But, yeah, I have seen this criticism directed at green writers lately, and it's totally an easy trap that I know I've at least fallen into.

That being said, I was this Anon >>41070028 and, yeah, your post read like you were jerking yourself off for being an ideas guy. At least you're passionate though, lel, which I like. So I apologize.

Now write something fgt

>>41070076
Specifically your point is wrong, and here's how.

Lets say that my girlfriend accuses me of cheating. I say to her "It's inconsiderate when women shave their legs in the tub and leave the hair behind." She never shaves and I have never personally experienced a hairy and uncleaned tub.

Sure, I've given a correct critique of certain female behaviors. Even if we lived in a world where only one woman ever did that, the critique as written would still be correct. The point of the critique, however, is wrong. It has nothing to do with the discussion, and nothing to do with the people in the discussion. I would effectively be blaming her typical negative female behavior for my infidelity, without ever actually saying she misbehaved or that I cheated. The statement would be correct, but the point would be wildly wrong and implicate me.

Instead of that, lets say an anon made a green, you responded in a flippant negative manner, and when you received equally flippant pushback you described a problem endemic to the medium on the whole. You would effectively be blaming that anon's typical and bad writing without ever actually saying they did any particular thing wrong.

Sometimes "I'm an asshole but I'm right" is valid. People don't like to hear the specific truths they've been intentionally ignoring. In that case, "being an asshole" is saying true but unpleasant things.

In this case, and really quite often, people start with a correct feeling and point and then try to hide. In their insecurity and misdirection they say wrong things while seeding in emotional attacks. The practice of "being an asshole" makes you be incorrect when you could have been correct instead. I'm the one saying a true but unpleasant thing.

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The mares in the marelet pit at the gym are NICE and FRIENDLY
You can just talk to them and they're happy

>>41070119
You are absolutely right, and thanks for pointing that out to me. I did respond in an overly negative and whiney manner, I was triggered by that one throw away line "I have an imperative to convert the locals" or something. I should have just responded with a snide remark.

I suffer from going on wild leaps of logic and not communicating A -> B -> C type of logic. At the very least I should have expressed my thoughts clearer, I'll seek to correct this in the future.

I real liked reading "Preunification Anon" by Spooples, it wasn't perfect, but it was kind of new and a cool take. "Gothmarriage" was a really funny one. These were, in terms of writing, the same as other writings here, but they were qualitatively better because they introduced conflict, or mixed up the setting in an interesting way. I would just like it if more people stirred up the old green text formula.

>>41070168
>I was triggered by that one throw away line "I have an imperative to convert the locals" or something
Brother, that is nearing terminal twitter levels of taking shit far too seriously.

>>41070773
I want to hug lonely mares

>>41069809
"STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE! REEEEEEEEE!!!!"

>>41070853
ABHG - Always Be Hugging Mares.

>>41071025
"STOP CRITICIZING MY SLOP! REEEEEEEE!

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Girls, please, you're BOTH pretty.

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lazy saturday cuddling with the moonwife while watching hoofball and drinking horse!beer together
what more could a man want?

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>>41071061
this but celestia

>>41071052
Unironically, yes.
All fanfic is slop. Even the famously "good" ones. If the flavor of the slop we serve here isn't to your taste, then leave. I'm sure you can find slop that you like elsewhere.

>>41071087
>not both
Literally homosexual

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>>41071087
we could make a day out of it. carrot dogs for the missuses and some imported griffon bratwurst for (You) and me

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>>41071099
>>41071087
>>41071061
This but Littlepip

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>>41071099
You can't be so greedy, Anon. TWO princesses? Some would call you selfish, maybe even overly decadent.

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>>41071119
Get her away from my waifu or else I will seethe and cry

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>>41071135
k

>>41071138
Impressive. I've never seen a pure-blooded deepwater jew in the wild before.

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>>41071177
Indeed. You should consider this a rare honor.

>>41066300
The fact that he's so entertained by clip-clops, acted barbarically (even with motive) and is prone to anger leads me to believe this might not actually be a modern or "standard" Anon, but actually might be more primitive or less civilized.

Maybe he's from the "Conan" universe. Kind of savage, but everyone still speaks English. A Barbarian Anon who's kind of simple, rough and tumble, but a big softy who likes cute things deep down.

Also might help explain why they thought he was a beast. A well-dressed creature is less likely to be labeled a savage beast, after all, but someone ins a furry loincloth, however...

>>41070168
>"Gothmarriage" was a really funny one.
That green was so fucking based. It's the only reason I started writing again, honestly.

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Reminder to protect your waifu from yurifag femcels

>>41072012
I want to carry this pone.

>>41064506
Pretty sure ale is liquid bread, whereas beer adds some other stuff.

>>41072522
Beer is hopps?

Anything about Reverse Discord or Chrysalis?

>>41073298
Sometimes we get Eris in one form or another, but I can't remember offhand if we've ever had butterfly-wing Chrysalis.

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All I wanna do is *boop boop boop boop* and-a *sound of smooching* and rub your belly

>>41073473
I mean as in the normal ones but RGRE, not genderbent

>>41073740
Oh, my bad.

>>41073619
>and rub your belly
>not "and rub your tummy"

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Night bump before bed.

>>41074254
I'm sure the night would prefer you bump her in bed.

What (non-lewd, you horndogs) would you do for your herd on horse mother's day?

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>You never thought you'd feel total contempt looking at another female
>That is, until you set your eyes upon the female human
>Weak-willed, soft, slow, no attention spans, or real drive
>They had all the colts that they wished, but strove to pick only the ones that would make them the most unhappy
>They squandered their gifts, and delighted in playing the victim
>Most of them didn't even seem to want a family, a thing even the most loathsome pony would want
>And then there were their males
>At a glance, you were able to tell that they were made for mares
>Their long legs, their grabbers, that cute little tuft of fur on top of their heads
>They had already bounded so thoroughly with the dumb animals that they called horses that the beasts had helped build their civilizations, meaning that the foundations were long in place
>The male that had been brought to Equestria had settled in without issue
>He went from a lost, angry man into a sweet house husband with three foals and who was part of the local PTA
>His transformation had taken no time at all
>In fact, it had been so easy that there had been some that thought it was some sort of ploy
>But no
>Billions of stallions were there
>Right to be plucked
>Ready to be MARE'd
>There would be little resistance you think
>Lyra was extremely excited about it