I'm still far from what I'd call an incel to success story, but here is some advice that I wish I had learned sooner:

1. I wasted my best years in terms of ease of mingling with young women (high school, college) not trying at all. Ask yourself what you've done in the past week specifically to try and talk to people and women. If you're still in college and especially on campus literally stop reading this post right now and instead go socialize with people in the study center for your major, sit down at a random table in the lunch room, join a club, it's literally baby tier easy mode.

2. If you don't have IRL friends, start there. It will give likely improve your life more than just finding a gf and meeting women through friends is still a decent option. If nothing else you'll be able to get advice from people IRL instead of weirdos on the internet. There is plenty of advice out there for just making friends.

3. Give dating apps a shot and get your profile pictures rated on photofeeler.com, I was surprised by a lot of the results. Pay for it so you can actually get a high volume of ratings.

4. If you find yourself doing nothing on weekends, fix that. At minimum you could be at a bar just improving your social skills talking to strangers. If you're in a city there are probably meetup groups that will be a lot of desperate weirdos like you, but occasionally women. But you don't want to get a reputation for being that desperate guy who hits on anybody, instead treat it as an opportunity to just make friends and practice socializing. Having women as friends are particularly valuable, think of them as a "card engine" that can introduce you to many more women.

>>31104796
>>31104714
Bump, looking for stories of success, some hope.

>>31104714
https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/28877713/#28878550

>>31104888
>https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/28877713/#28878550
it's just a bunch of grifters, don't even click the link

>>31104714
Be me
>20
>graduated flight school
>get shitty pilot job in the middle of nowhere for 6 months
>have 15k debt (which is nothing) because I worked full time while going to school full time (I was getting 8 hours of sleep every 5.5 days)
>making like 13k in those 6 months (because this job is about hours and not about money)
>pissed off that I have to continue making sacrifices
>nice car broke down last year and now forced to drive some stupid car my uncle gave me
>no wife
>no friends
>end of my contract, a big company contacts me
>become co pilot
>making 70k
>girl that I’ve had a crush on since 16 years old calls me out of the blue (I have no social media or anything)
>we went on a date
>I convince her to marry me (since she’s religious) and we got married that day
>we made love
>she’s pregnant
>her dads wants to kill me
>my family thinks I’m an idiot
>im starting to make the big bucks but i just started
>all of a sudden my old friends want to hang out with me
>all of a sudden everyone wants to socialize with me

Everything before >no friend is true and everything after is me assuming what’s gonna happen in 6 months

>>31104714
The main thing to understand is that you have the cause and effect relationship backwards: you think you're an incel because you can't get laid, but the reality is that you can't get laid because you're an incel.

The way you succeed with women is to systematically dismantle your incel belief system. Realise that everything you think you know about women is a lie.

For example, looks matter - but only if a woman is looking for a hookup. If they're looking for a boyfriend, they want someone who is confident (or able to convincingly pretend that he is), someone who is funny, and someone who is kind (in that order). Be those things and your height, jawline, and physique really won't matter a damn.

>>31105001
I only care about having sex, I'm not bf material. Should I then invest into looksmaxxing like crazy?

>>31105017
It’s over for you

>>31105001
kys tranny

>>31105019
Why?

>>31104967
>Everything before >no friend is true and everything after is me assuming what’s gonna happen in 6 months
made me kek hard
thanks anon and godspeed

>>31105001
>Realise that everything you think you know about women is a lie.
I am not an incel but most things that incels talk about are correct from an empiric point of view.
The only thing they suck at is mindset. They see an ogre date a hot girl and don't think "If he can do it, so can I" but they seethe uncontrollably about how unfortunate they are not to be that ogre, regardless of the situation.

>>31105043
The next 6 months will be torture. I feel stupid

>>31105060
>The only thing they suck at is mindset.
In fairness though that's a pretty huge thing to suck at. So much of our success in life (or lack thereof) ultimately stems from mindset, so when these guys have such a terrible one they're not doing themselves any favors, or setting themselves up for success and happiness.

>>31105060
>>31105219
I'm confident I will achieve my dream but no woman has ever responded to that, it's all about the looks in the end

>>31105231
>it's all about the looks in the end
No it's not. I'm good looking and was still an incel for years.
Looks can definitely help but are by no means a guarantee of success with women.

I haven't made it yet but becoming disillusioned towards women has helped me in a lot of ways. I'm a lot less frustrated that I'm a virgin loser now because of it.
My advice would be to always have goals. Even if it's a random and useless goal like learning how to smoke out every map perfectly in counterstrike. Your brain will reward you for giving it something to work towards.

>>31104714
I tried my fucking nuts off throughout school to get laid and it didn't pay off. I wasn't a truecel or anything, I partied, I kissed girls while drunk, I'd text em and sext em, but aside from a couple of actual CREATURES who would've done anything to get a boyfriend, I had no luck bagging a lay because any of the girls I actually liked wouldn't give me the time of day for anything real. I got to 18, started uni and started hitting the clubs, and it was more of the same but now it was girls I'd never even met turning their noses up at me, and the best I got the whole time i was into that scene was a fat horse-faced girl's number. I completely gave up on chasing women, and then out of nowhere this girl I loosely knew at school got in touch with me one Christmas and we went on a date. I was walking her home from the pub at the end of the night and she vacuumed my dick in the alley behind her house and we went to her room and fucked like rabbits. As for advice, I don't really have anything tangible to offer because I think I just got lucky.

>>31104796
not a success story either but I have to say number 1 is so true. I look back on all the time I wasted in college sitting in my room on 4chan and want to kill myself. I was such a fucking idiot and I hate that I really threw away what is by FAR the easiest time to meet people, whether it's friends, professional connections, or women.
you will never IN YOUR LIFE be surrounded with hundreds or thousands of people who are your age + women at their sexual peak all trapped in one facility.

please any student reading this take heed: get the FUCK off this website and go outside, literally do not be in your room unless it's to sleep. get up early and spend ALL DAY on campus, even if it's just sitting in the library or student union or whatever. you WILL regret it. I regret it so badly I'm considering going back to school in the next couple years for some bullshit degree just to make up for all the lost time.

>>31105275
So why do you think you got all of those rejections and then suddenly this one girl liked you enough for such events to transpire? What's the difference maker here?

>>31104714

When I was late teens early 20s, I thought I would never have a chance with any woman because I had an unusual upbringing on top of being autistic and felt I couldnt relate to anyone at all. I was also crippled with insecurity at noticing I was starting to lose my hair early. It wasn't that noticeable at the time, just a mildly receded hairline, but it totally raped my confidence. Anyway, I fucked a fat girl I happened to match with on tinder just to finally lose my virginity, and we were FWB for a couple of months. My confidence improved massively.

I'm now 27 and I would say that since then, I've been with 6 other women, and the pattern I've noticed is that they gravitated toward me when I'm not looking for them because I'm busy with goals and working all the time. I know this is meme advice, but I guess living your best life and staying busy does attract women, especially if you're too focused on life to notice them too much.

Sorry for any bad grammar, English is my sexond language.

>>31105404
Describe the process of interacting with that fat girl and how it led to sex, how many dates, what were the logistics, did she feel attractive to you despite being fat (and how fat), etc.

>>31105448
It was 6 years ago, but I remember we fucked on the second date. She wasn't pretty, really, and if I'm being honest, I'm a bit of a chubby chaser. Something about feeling all that soft flesh is actually appealing to me. She was maybe 5 ft 4 and had a belly. I'm 6 ft and skinny.

Before fucking, we talked about our favorite animes and just past experiences, where we grew up. The first date we had lunch together, and the second date we hung out in my room in my dorm at university and watched detective conan, then she got a bit frisky.

>>31105529
How would you describe your first time, were you nervous? Did you tell her about your predicament? I had an opportunity but I was super nervous and my dick was completely dead from all the stress

>>31104714
went from no money to low money.
I wouldnt say im a success story, but Yuge improvement.

>>31105001
>For example, looks matter - but only if a woman is looking for a hookup. If they're looking for a boyfriend, they want someone who is confident (or able to convincingly pretend that he is), someone who is funny, and someone who is kind (in that order). Be those things and your height, jawline, and physique really won't matter a damn.
it is true most women settle for men they're not viscerally attracted to, so the incels are wrong on that... but that life also isn't worth living anyway. begging for bjs or sex inside of 5 years, finding used magnums in the range after her business lunch with donquavious... it's a grim outcome

>>31105609
That's my point, it's not impossible to eventually find some broad who will give you sex, but it's not gonna be consistent enough, the relationship won't be stable, so on. Dating women only makes sense if you're Chad

>>31104796
>1. I wasted my best years in terms of ease of mingling with young women (high school, college) not trying at all. Ask yourself what you've done in the past week specifically to try and talk to people and women. If you're still in college and especially on campus literally stop reading this post right now and instead go socialize with people in the study center for your major, sit down at a random table in the lunch room, join a club, it's literally baby tier easy mode.

This guy gets it. I also wasted my life but the worst part was that I actually had cute girls approach me first but I thought I was above flirting with them, and rejecting them by not reciprocating their advances made me feel good. I'm now a 27 year old virgin. Please listen to this anon.

>>31105589
Quitting porn helps your dick, look it up. actually had a chance to lose my v card once before her, but my dick wouldn't work. I met her after I'd abstained for a few months and saw it worked wonders.

>>31105765
What I mean is porn causes your brain to lose sensitivity to sexual stimuli and many men find that they can cure ED just by abstaining from pirn for a few months. Also, being able to feel at ease with the person helps. Once I struggled again, but it was because I was under pressure because our relationship really was stressful and shitty.

>>31105765
>>31105787
Thanks, I do have a problem with porn and my longest nofap streak is 2 weeks.

>>31105787
I guess I should also ask, how did you manage to go on for so long

>>31105602
Money should be number 1 priority if you struggle with it

>>31105330
are you the schooler incel? fuck off with your "touch grass" advice if you've got nothing

>>31106161
That wasn't Schooler. Schooler is mentally ill and thinks school is the only place to talk to women, not the easiest place. That's a big difference.
This anon also freely offers up that he made mistakes and has regrets. Schooler conveniently leaves out that he never actually did the thing he preaches for everyone else and never talked to women when he was there unless you press him.

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>>31104796
Not reading the rest of the thread, but this guy fucks. How I did it was cold approaching and networking/improving my social skills at nightclubs

I still go through bouts of hopelessness, but it seems like I average 1 girl who likes me every 3-4 months. I go out every weekend and made a shitload of friends from that. Networking increases exponentially, not linearly

>>31106161
shut up retard, I'm not schooler

>>31105001
This is probably the best advice on this thread. And this is coming from someone who identifies himself as a soft incel. Realistically, I know most of my problems lies in how I think. I would, of course, be a normal guy if my parents hadn't divorced but I guess all that's left to me now that I'm a loser is trying to fix it.

bumpo

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>>31104714
1. Get help for mental illness.
2. Change habitat, eliminate negative and harmful people
3. Self acceptance
4. Be or become confident in yourself.
5. Social skills practice

>>31105827
Me and her just kept meeting up almost every night and doing our thing. Eventually she voiced she wanted a relationship while I didn't, and things seemed to be fizzling out anyway, so she moved on to someone that wanted a relationship.

I guess enjoying each other's company was key in keeping it going. I find it's difficult to continually have sex with someone you don't have some things in common with and aren't comfortable opening up much around.

In our case, we at least had in common that we liked sex and a few animes, plus I wasn't trying to impress her. The girl I dated that I couldnt perform with was someone I was always trying to fucking impress.

>>31104714
I'm a meat eater, but I always luck out with vegan chicks only, for some reason.
Am still a kissless virgin because they always want me to stop eating meat, and I fucking won't, so there's no point going further (in their opinion).
This type is an incredibly passive, docile, shy, kind vegan female that, alas, needs to be approached and goaded along all the time if you want to keep her. She won't take the lead, ever, in any situation. Another reason why they tended to ditch me (I'm kinda passive at times and I can't bring myself to ask them out).
The times I lucked out, I spoke brutally honest about my life, but didn't self-pity myself.
I wished well and self-growth for the people that have mistreated me, and showed empathy for the world (not in a 100% fake way really, but maybe a bit too poetically and I certainly exaggerated that part a little bit, but they seem to love it).
Love for animals and nature (nature to a lesser degree if she has a carnivore pet) is a MUST, and I'm certainly not opposed to this!
Honesty. Dominace. Kindness. Big words. Animals. Veganism. That might get you somewhere. Good luck.
I'm volcel these days FYI. Why? Fishing is a tradition in my family. And I'm tired of women's bullshit games.

>>31105357
I guess because I stopped tryharding and just acted like myself around her, but OP said no meme advice

>>31105001
totally agree with this one

>>31105027
>Why?
Because you're a parasite on the world.

>>31104714
I made my self gradually more confortable around women until I wasn't nervous.

Started hooking up at bars and clubs.

Made online friends ina streamer community/discord.

Started dating a girl from there, and we just got marriwd last octuber.

The biggest insight I gkt is:


Everyone is lonely, dying and craving for interaction you just need to start the interaction without sounding like a creep with second intentions, just be real and people will respond, and if thwy don't so what? It's not the end ofnthe world as people often asume.

Go to school for a quality degree.
Get/stay in shape.
Find a hobby that is pro-social.

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>>31104714
Genuinely just keep taking the next step in life and become an interesting person.

>get decent job
>leave the parents basement or a better apartment
>work out
>have a plan for life looking at least 5~10 years forward
>don't mop around in the same place in life and if necessary be willing to nuke everything

While i was NEET'ing i had it pretty shit and semi depressed most of the time, afterwards when i had a job, studies, and a direction in line it started getting a bit better+was able to get laid a couple of times in my no-so-shitter apartment.

>>31104796
>>31105330
Do I have to actually be AT college or can I just do a bunch of social hobbies in a city where lots of college aged people live?
I've been depressed as fuck ever since graduation but my city is all millennials so I was gonna move somewhere where lots of young people live
Too poor to go back to college again even though I probably should considering how badly I want to be around people

>>31105252
>>it's all about the looks in the end
>No it's not. I'm good looking and was still an incel for years.
>Looks can definitely help but are by no means a guarantee of success with women.
You're saying that looks aren't sufficient but the incel claim is that looks are necessary. No-one said looks are sufficient, so you're making a strawman argument.

>>31104714
I succeeded by making up a fake story about how I got laid and decided to post it on a librerian crossdressing forum.

>mid 20s male
>NEET at parents house
>live in a big city where its just yuppies and millennials, no people my age or anything relating to my interests
>barely any friends and basically invisible to women, sometimes I luck out on cold approach or meeting someone at a young people's event but it's the exception rather than the norm
planning to
>start making money through crypto trading
>start renting an apartment in a city where young people actually go outside and there are events related to my interests always happening
once I carry out the latter greentext how much will my odds improve?
Slightly above average in terms of looks, charismatic and confident enough to get my foot in the door, mildly autistic but I like the aspie girls so its nbd

>>31105645
>That's my point, it's not impossible to eventually find some broad who will give you sex, but it's not gonna be consistent enough, the relationship won't be stable, so on. Dating women only makes sense if you're Chad
LOL, talk about moving the goalposts. You people are incorrigible in your crab mentality. First you say it can't be done then you say well even if it can be done [insert satirical narrative about adultery].

>>31108340
I never said it couldn't be done, purely from the statistical standpoint anyone can succeed if you just keep grinding going to clubs and whatnot, but successful encounters will be too far from each other to really feel a difference, and by successful encounters I mean one night stands that end up with her ghosting you.

>>31108329
Crypto isn't necessarily stable enough to entirely base your financial well being around at least not at first unless you have a substantial sum of varied investments. If you can find a job that doesn't want to make you kys and cover your living expenses with some extra spared every month and invest in crypto yeah sure why not.

Friend of mine who is a bit of a dumbass but learned day trading showed some examples of co-workers doing another 400$~ extra from a few hours effort each month and it all basically goes into a savings account.

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>>31104714
I don’t consider myself hopeless and have been completely freed from the shackles of shame. Anyone who is uncomfortable with me has to deal with that discomfort, not me.

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You won't believe me guys but one time I had sex in my entire life, I was so drunk/tired I didn't remember or feel a thing. I just got told by the girl who slept next to me that she tried to ride me but I passed out. I'm still a virgin at heart

>>31108366
Who in their right mind is stupid enough to invest in some imaginary meme currency hyped up by neckbeards? Did everyone not see what happened with ftx?

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>>31104714
>>31104796
>>31105404
>>31105275
>>31108306
I am 40 and none of my hopes and dreams materialized.

40 years wasted away with nothing to show for. The few things that I had in life I lost them the past few years.
My health is deteriorating, my youth is gone, my friends abandoned, my energy is depleted, my motivation is absent, my savings evaporated. There is nothing left now, just the emptiness remains.

>>31108769
sucks to hear bro

>>31108640
lmao honorary virgin o7

>>31108467
tell you to watch where you drive nibba

>>31108244
gud advice.

ppl actually meet from discord. dam..

>>31108313
The incel claim is wrong though. The world is full of ugly ass dudes who still have a woman.

>>31104714
so i used to be pretty much a hopeless loner incel type. i used to keep to myself as much as possible and of course, loathe everyone around me. i would get really envious and sad whenever i saw any sort of comradery. couples especially. until one day i just decided to make a move, a bold one. i decided in that moment to just make a change, because why the fuck would i want to stay like this? depressed and isolated, totally miserable. so it was in that moment that i made the executive decision to actually try and start a conversation with someone for once, and then we hit it off. i kept this going, i started talking to people more and more, gradually becoming more outgoing and extroverted as time went on. i then realized that i was holding myself back for pretty much no reason, like i thought that i would do something stupid and embarrass myself. while there were some points where i truly did fuck up and fumble, those served as lessons as for what not to do. there's nothing wrong with screwing up, just makes you more refined in the long run.

in short, i just took a risk one day and kept on doing just that. nowadays i'm pretty sociable, and don't mind chatting up random people. this took place from december of 2023 - 2024 btw. just a few months got me to where i am today. looking back, it wasn't even that hard. just took some balls to push myself out of my comfort zone so i could just fucking do it already. and here we are. my advice? be ballsy, see where it gets you

>>31109441
So are you a sex haver now, or do you just talk more

>>31108769
dreams doesn't mean success in life.

Friends elder half brother did nothing with his life till 37 when he got a small locksmithing shop from some dead uncle or something. Only thing interesting there was the tooling and besides that 6 months worth of unpaid rent on the place.

Instead of selling it off to cover the rent he got it up and running and for the 6 years since has been doing pretty well all things considered.

>>31104967
lmfao

>>31108237
Fk off women

>>31108308
living in a college town is second best
but nothing compares to fully immersing yourself in the college lifestyle, it's a mindset

When I was younger, I felt so repulsive to girls. Like some weird sludge runoff that was embarrassing to interact with. I luckily had friends who helped me lean deep into my personality, and I became pretty quick witted and creative. I moved to New York City, and there are a plethora of girls with all different types of tastes, to a surprise extent, and I was able to find the small pool of girls who appreciated my weird sensibility and see the humane warmth in me that girls all my life didn’t recognize and it completely changed my perception of myself. I still am confused about how I look attractive-wise because in the past I used to be told I was ugly. But I think a lot of getting girls if you’re “unusual” is needing to grind, likely through dating apps, to find niches of girls who appreciate unusual guys. All I’d say is commit to who you believe you are and develop it as far as you can. Being funny and assured in your humor helps a lot I think.

>>31104714
>don’t go to university because i am not interested in making my dad waste money when i don’t want to stufy jack shit
>always study science shit thanks to my mom, and i realize later that what i like is computer shit
>all my chances of getting pussy at 20 ruined due to that because university seemed too hard and never studied for what i liked
i hate the world so much
you can only get a gf either in social circle and college. never went to college and my social circle is still the same after so many years. but oh well, i doubt i would like female company in the first place

>>31107868
What I meant is, how did you manage to go on with no fap for so long before meeting her

Is it possible to turn things around as a clinically depressed 30something virgin? I gave up on mental health after spending tens of thousands of dollars for over a decade and nothing helping. So now I just live with the mental illness

>>31105001
So... Alpha fucks, beta bucks? Huh, who'd've thunk.

>>31105001
>For example, looks matter - but only if a woman is looking for a hookup. If they're looking for a boyfriend, they want someone who is confident
Why does every single normie advice boil down to "just be the beta provider when she's ready to settle down bro"

>>31113412
because that's the only way normies can get girlfriends

I was incel during my teenage years, a weirdo pretty much, outcasted. Girls still liked me a little because I was pretty in very feminine way. Then I had an extremely late and explosive puberty. I grew 4 inches from 18-22 and my face became masculine and handsome. I had and have women presenting themselves when I go out. But my mind is so fucked up from a lack of genuine affection and acceptance during my formative years ( bad childhood too) that I just became a cold prick. Just another link in the chain of abuse

Everything boils down to having a good, stable childhood and teenage experience. Everything

>>31105001
How are they supposed to get to know me when I approach them and they say they are good and walk away?

>>31113745
You do it in the proper situations. Or meet them on dating apps.

>>31105609
>finding used magnums in the range after her business lunch with donquavious
You seem too preoccupied with your weird fetishes to be of any help to OP

>>31104714
They clearly weren't incels if they succeeded.
True incels are guys like me who are physically deformed and beyond salvation.

>>31113807
>le no true incel meme
There is no such thing. Being an incel is a choice. Every incel chose to be an incel. That is why every incel can also choose to stop being an incel.

>>31113794
Only fatties message me, the non fat ones that match with me never respond, I swear tinder just matches us because I paid for it. I tried adding girls from tinder on Snapchat if they have it in their bio and they usually ignore me, if they do message me it’s only a few words.
I’m 6’6 and white and I just want a white wife that’s not under 5’5” tall.

>>31113868

>muh personal accountability

lol no. fuck off juden peterstein

>>31113868
>Every incel chose to be an incel.
I never chose to be deformed, and thus unattractive to women, faggot.

>>31104796
>>31105001
>>31105060
>>31105330
>>31105404
>>31106293
>>31107077
>>31108244
>>31108306

Decent posts. Decent thread in general, but lots of crabs though.

>>31113412
More like, why does every incel think they're entitled to be or were supposed to be some dashing heartthrob or hunk who effortless reels women in through raw physical attraction, and is too good to play the other roles that all men do in relationships (including said hunks and heartthrobs once the relationship gets serious enough)?
It's doubly funny when you guys also constantly claim to be super ugly. Most of you are probably around average, but let's say you actually are that ugly. Ok, so which is it then? Are you some sad ugly guys who would be lucky to get a woman at all, or are you some gigachad sex god? Because if you're the former, you shouldn't expect the scenario of the latter.

>>31111706
ah fuck, what if I just work in the college library or something?

>>31114118
funny, I met my current gf in the library. I'm 30, she's 20 turning 21

>>31114133
congrats anon
I used to try it when I was at college and made a few friends but was too fucked in the head to pull from that shit, maybe next time

>>31114098
Being a living ATM for a washed up hoe is not a good life to live.

>>31113927
You chose to be an incel. You also lie about being deformed. You could go out and get a girlfriend but you don't want to.

>>31104967
Lmaooo good one

>>31114141
No one said it was.
The issue is that if you're not capable of or don't deserve better, then it's good enough. You SHOULD want better than that but you should also be capable of it or willing to work for it.
Someone told me in another thread that I have a very "let them eat cake" attitude towards incels. And honestly, they weren't wrong.

>>31105001
Bluepilled retard

>>31104714
36fag
I was this. My main savior was the fact incels and red pill and shit wasn't as prominent so I didn't have a huge ideology out there to affirm me and let me blame everyone else so I just kept working on myself.

>non meme advice
I do have a powerful feeling you've mistakened "things that are true tend to be said over and over" for "things people say over and over are memes" but that depends on what you consider a meme.

Generally though, it really truly is just an odds game. There are women who won't like you, and thats most women. No amount of game, looks maxing, having a dog, going to the gym or cold approaching will change that.
Then there's a few women who would like you as are.
Maximize social opportunities, maximize odds of meeting the latter..

Any self improvement can make your time easier. None of it is a complete deal breaker.

>>31114144
>You also lie about being deformed.
I wish. Sadly I am physically deformed, and not in the "wah I'm only 5'8" sense.
>You could go out and get a girlfriend but you don't want to.
Hard to do that when women aren't attracted to you.

>>31114203
>Then there's a few women who would like you as are.
You don't know that. Stop generalizing.

>>31104714
Had a go-getter, hard-working attitude, while being open to criticism and being reasonably uncaring of what others thought of me. Worked up the social ladder, rejected hot women who were clearly only interested in money and went for my looks match who is genuinely attracted to me. About to have my third child.