[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
05/08/16Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box!
[Hide] [Show All]


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: brink of death.jpg (63 KB, 633x758)
63 KB
63 KB JPG
>tfw hate niggers

>tfw love rap music and rappers like Kendrick Lamar, Lil uzi, Kodak Black, Future, J.Cole etc
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35748380
Nigga that music is for white people. Yall listen to those white wased niggas more than us.
>>
>>35748380>>35748409

>niggers
Who?
>>
>>35748462
smdh. op finna fleek on bae but the squad lit af.
>>
>>35748380
Kendrick Lamar is acceptable. I bet even 1488ers could appreciate him if they were honest with themselves. The rest of them I've never listened to so I can only assume garbage.
>>
File: intel.png (208 KB, 807x935)
208 KB
208 KB PNG
>>35748411
>IQ is >140
>Still enjoy negroes and negro music

Your point is moot

what's stopping you guys from flipping the switch?

I have nothing to live for anymore, genuinely, nothing to live for.

no friends, no family, no pets, no hopes, no dreams, thousands of regrets, poor health, poor fitness, poor sleep, medical problems out the ass.

Any of you guys know this feel?
5 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35746785
have tried it a few times

>taken a shit ton of sleep meds (chugging a full bottle of 50+ of my dads) at 14 years
>went to sleep
>woke up awhile later with puke all over my room and everyone asking wtf happened (was like 16+ hours later)
>tried it again with less sleeping pills (probably not fatal but definitely not theraputic) at 15 yrs
>woke up extremely dazed obviously unsuccessful
>bought rifle and handgun at various times 18-21 yrs
>practice aiming both unloaded to my head and pulling the trigger
>easy rite?
>put a bullet it
>can barely point gun in the direction of my head without trembling like mad, finger couldnt get into trigger guard even with safety off (more trembling fear)
>set up my belt to hang myself from the neck at 23 yrs
>put my neck in and holding myself up

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
I fell off a roof and herniated a disc I think my life is over it's been a six month since and im still in pain thinking really hard about suicide
>>
>>35746785
I feel the need to see the SJWs be BTFO, then I'm killing myself
>>
>>35746785
I'm scared of dying alone. Mabye if I could convince Somone to kill them self with me I would.
>>
>>35746908
I've been thinking a lot about it lately, and it sounds like getting a gun would be the easiest.
Surely you can get at least enough money for that, and you just go out to the woods somewhere. No mess for anyone to clean up. Simple and fast. Good mechanism

File: PF24 Part 3 of 4 pgif.gif (674 KB, 556x312)
674 KB
674 KB GIF
When is the race war coming?
I need to be prepared.
>>
File: mfw.png (27 KB, 631x708)
27 KB
27 KB PNG
>>35749350
Does it mean I can serve THICK white girls?
If so I surrender now.

File: IMG_6588.jpg (118 KB, 940x788)
118 KB
118 KB JPG
>type out long confession to girl I like
>delete
>try to type something less cringey to her
>delete
>"Hey wanna go out sometime?"
>delete
>"What's good?"
>send
>we have a polite conversation
>I make no attempt to express how I feel
>the conversation ends
>repeat the process the next day

Haha why can't I fucking die

File: neet.jpg (163 KB, 1006x706)
163 KB
163 KB JPG
Daily reminder that if you've ever...

> had a genuine, close relationship with either a male or female at any point in your life....
> held a girl's hand, kissed a girl. had sex (same logic applies to gays..)
> had one personal friend
> enjoyed normie-tier movies/anime/entertainment

Then you're not a fucking robot. No ifs, no buts, that's the fucking end of it all.
38 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749253

Thanks, anon. I need some people to join me and fighting the good fight to reclaim this board.. or start a new board that will be normie-proof. You're dead-on, the only reason these guys get their dicks in a bunch is because they actually, fully are aware of the fact that they are not robots.. yet they want to be so badly because their lives a whole new brand of pathetic.. that they will argue and remain assblasted for hours.

There's nothing pathetic about being a KHV in this world and this day and age. Everyone is out there doing drugs, giving their genitalia up to the first buyer. Virgins are the only people who continue to hold on to something sacred and pure. There is no shame in this and there is no sense of pathetic in this.
>>
>>35749307
wew
got ourselves a tough guy here
>>
>>35749307

Typical normie response. Has to resort to some lame meme shit when he gets outed. Sad!
>>
>>35749215
but how can you tell who is me anyway? how can you be so sure i can't be a part of this? i know what is like to be ignored, or heartbroken, or hated, or simply not recognized as anything. The fact that i have experienced things you haven't, does not mean i haven't experienced things you have.
>>
>>35748335
Actually robots are the outcasts and losers of society, whether they had sex or not

File: 540979735973939835973.png (295 KB, 592x558)
295 KB
295 KB PNG
I deleted one of my oneties from every social media platform I had her, Normiebook, Normiegram, Snormaiechad, and even her phone number, cut ties with her... Right now, I'm drunk as fuck and about to smoke a huge ass blunt because I just added her back on Normiebook and I'm waiting for her to accept my request, which she most likely will ignore and not accept because she realized I cut ties with her after I saw her picture at the beach with a Chad.

I'm drunker than I have ever been, and I have a huge panic attack waiting to see if she's gonna accept my request again, I know that when I wake up tomorrow I'm gonna feel like a huge piece of shit, but the good thing is that I'm off tomorrow so I can stay in bed crying the whole day.
>>
>>35749378
>Using social media
Come the fuck on anon

Hey guys, it's me again, the guy who keeps starting these threads. I'm working on some schoolwork at the library currently but I'm alone so I figured I'd keep things spicy by starting one of these and maybe helping some other people out while I'm getting things done here.

So like the title says, if you need help on the girls in your life, ask here. I can't exactly say I've been in all of your positions but I definitely feel as if I can relate to a lot of what you guys are/have been going through when it comes to women and I can at the very least offer you my take on what you have to say.

Some anons here were very helpful in me getting my first girlfriend and seeing my first real success with a real life girl so I'm thankful to you guys and I want to pay it forward a bit.

Ask away, and here's one of my favorite tracks from the game OST I'm listening to right now. I find it kinda motivating. (that acoustic guitar at the end though) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddetexvj0b4
6 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749176
I'm not sure what you mean, but if you're talking about just in general if I mess something up with a girl, I usually just try to talk to her about it if I think I need to. And if it's a nitpicky thing that's like "shit, i should have not done that or should have saved that for later" or whatever, I usually just try to get over it and move on. I think that's the best approach. Don't stress too much about messing up sometimes.

>>35749228
I pretty much agree here. Thanks for covering for me anon.

>>35749180
>>35749293
That really sucks man. That's a really shitty thing for him to do, and maybe you should consider finding better friends or at least giving him a really stern talk about it. But I like the previous dude's point about figuring out who you value your relationship with more

>>35749311
So she's your oneitis but has a bf? Or do you think she's going to talk to you about having bf-getting trouble? This distinction is important. Nevertheless, I think you should take this opportunity by the nuts but don't get too nervous or else it's going to be awkward
>>
I fell in love with a girl the moment I met her, and we became good friends until she found out that I liked her and things kind of fizzled out. I have loved her for years, and I truly believe this is my one shot at true happiness and pure love. What can I do to at least be her friend again? She means the world to me.
>>
I cannot fall in love.
I never loved anyone.

Have something for that?
>>
>>35749354
>So she's your oneitis but has a bf?
This one. She only dates top tier fellas though so I'll be amazed if anything happens between us. Oh well, nothing to lose.
>>
>>35749376
Do you want to experience love?

File: 1482573880462.jpg (362 KB, 1106x1012)
362 KB
362 KB JPG
I'll start:

>She's been backpacking
>She's used Tinder
>She has tattoos
>She fucks on the first date
>She complains about other guys to you
>She's had one night stands
83 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35747485
That is completely and totally untrue. Actually believing either gender only make choices and develop preferences based on biological coding is simply due to lacking knowledge on the subject. I could go on for hours on how tons of overtly common preferences and actions from both genders go against claims of biological programming.
>>
>>35744718
>She's been backpacking
I'm dumb. Like hiking? What's wrong with that
Do you mean "backpacking across Europe"? Yea she's probably a whore
>She's used Tinder
Whore
>She has tattoos
Whore
>She fucks on the first date
Whore
>She complains about other guys to you
I'm guessing this means sexually/romantically?
>She's had one night stands
Whore
>>
>>35749087
>redflag thread

Technically, if you're in a position to be noticing or caring about a woman's "red flags" you're already in normiedom.

So apres vous, fuckface.
>>
>>35747659
That's completely true but just like I said "unless they just toss themselves around". It seems like many people here take a serious issue not just at the level of their preference but to the point that they insist she is stupid, immoral and many other excessively harsh sentiments simply because she has slept with multiple guys.
>>
>always has to be right
>surrounded by beta orbiters

File: pond.jpg (1.48 MB, 2310x1781)
1.48 MB
1.48 MB JPG
I went on a tinder date today and it was just so depressing. I don't know what she wanted from it. I don't know if it was supposed to be a hookup or a date or what. I don't know what a date really means. I don't know which I want if either. I don't know how I'm really supposed to act for either. Every other time I've gone on a date I've felt better afterwards about life and everything but this time I just feel worse about everything. I've never felt so disconnected or sure that there is something wrong and broken about me. I hate everything and I hate myself.
12 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749153
That's slightly less autistic but you're still completely fucking retarded and deserve to die alone if you'd post a pic of yourself ande a chick you went on a date with to an anonymous laotian child raping imageboard
>>
>>35749202
Harsh. What's the big deal? I want to see if she's out of his league or something...
>>
>>35749263
then she wouldn't have matched on tinder, neither of us were catfishing
>>
Having bad social skills is something that's hard to come to terms with. Alot of people on this site are somewhere on The Autism Spectrum, wherein all the shit will just pile itself on all at once in the form of meltdowns. At times like those you just need to find something to do or sit and wait for it to pass. You wrote your post over half an hour ago so you've probably calmed down by now.

I talked to a girl in college one time and she gave me her number. I called her up and I realized I didn't have a single thing to say. However it wasn't until yeas later that I realized I'll probably never have friends and definitely never have a girlfriend. Getting married and having kids is something society presents to us as normal, but is that really all that it's cracked up to be? Kids are alot of work, first when they're babies you have to change their diaper at all hours of the night, for the next 4-5 years they have to be under constant supervision, you have to pay for all of their meals, clothes and everything else they need, and when all's said and done children tend to distance themselves from their parents. And alot of times girlfriends and wives will start fights for no reason and try to establish dominance over their boyfriends or husbands. In every T. V. show the husband is almost always the butt of jokes, and with women entering the workforce more men are taking on household responsibilities. Dating is a means to getting married, so if you don't want to do that missing out on dating isn't as big a deal.

You can't always control what happens to you but you can control how to interpret it. So instead of focusing on things you're not good at, focus instead on things you are. Find some hobbies you can master. You could learn a musical instrument, get good at Chess, start creative writing, take up running or lifting or anything else. When you get good at your hobby you'll produce something you can be proud of, and you'll feel good about yourself.
>>
>>35748599
who the fuck gets coffee stop reading reddit

coffee is what girls get with other girls when they wanna gossip but have no fucking time

its like when guys go out and "get a stogue" or w/e with each other its fucking gay. but its worse than that.

why the fuck in gods grace would you get COFFEE WITH A GIRL ? how the fuck is that a date? thats not even doing anything youre literally saying hey lets go get a bag of chips at the store like wtf? even valet has more interaction than that..

File: _.jpg (265 KB, 963x1024)
265 KB
265 KB JPG
Are you a virgin walker?
>>
>>35749365
i walk slower and put my hands in my jacket pockets, but i still look down
>>
I'm a deathwalker you slime earthnigga, take your insecurities into the hell your selfish mind is destined for and leave the insightful living in peace
>>
>>35749365
are you supposed to look at people in the eyes when you pass them? or any other time? ive never ever looked at anyone in their eyes before when talking to them.

and ya i walk like this but without the rigid arms or bad posture
>>
File: 20183134-.jpg (49 KB, 540x277)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
>All too relatable

S-shut up
>>
File: 084.png (298 KB, 600x512)
298 KB
298 KB PNG
>>35749365
>hair seems to overreact to wind
>part of the walk

File: 600x600bb-85.jpg (67 KB, 600x600)
67 KB
67 KB JPG
Mexican/hispanic robots

what do you think of George Lopez?
43 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749273
They think being legal makes them cool and white unlike those uncool illegal, poor beaners.

They don't realize that wetbacks are actually the cool ones because they're outlaws.
>>
>>35749349
>that wetbacks are actually the cool ones because they're outlaws.

how is that cool?
>>
File: I'm not surprised.png (682 KB, 600x597)
682 KB
682 KB PNG
>>35747616
the show was good, i don't really like his stand up

what he did to his ex wife is kind of fucked up
>>
>>35749373
Because outlaws are cool.
>>
>>35748772
They implied he raped a girl throughout the show. George always had a serious look when ernie was around carmen. George would always get him out of the house to backyard all slick.

Why are you not in the military?

It gives you a purpose.
15 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I don't like killing. I don't think we should kill each other over what the guys at the too think about each other.
>>
>>35748787
Honestly I'd love to join the military if the military was worth dying for.

The Afghan war was pointless and we have achieved exactly nothing.

The Iraq war was pointless and we have achieved exactly nothing.

I mean, if Mexico invades the USA I might sign up. But as it is the military is just so fucked.

>Can I drone strike a wedding? You bet!

>Can I blow away Somali pirates? No. That infringes on their civil rights.

>Can we reinforce Assad and Russia and end the Syrian civil war? No. The war must go on forever because Israel, the Military Industrial Complex, Saudi Arabia, and Qatar will it. It is the forever war.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>35749149
this is exactly why...
btw this comment is not original and i was muted for 2 sec
>>
>>35748787
They won't have me, I begged all branches but health too poor.
>>
File: 1487248720038.jpg (27 KB, 499x499)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
Have a second hell ride to MEPS next week to meet with a mental health counselor. I don't know how i'm supposed to pretend i'm a normie when they're already convinced i'm a psycho. I'm sorta glad this happened because I originally reserved a combat engineer position without realizing how touch that job is. I'm definitely going in for something technical now. I really don't want to be around the kind of people who are taking combat positions. They seem to either be ultra normie failed chads or self righteous cunts.

>>35749366
>begged all branches
how? they share all that information i'm pretty sure

File: 1489676236135.jpg (535 KB, 1800x2300)
535 KB
535 KB JPG
I'm a guy (male) and I want to sexually please men. ls that weird?
70 replies and 35 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1488535341176.jpg (319 KB, 799x800)
319 KB
319 KB JPG
>>35749157
I'd love to be your obedient smol boi anon. What would you make me do?

>>35749200
http://i.imgur.com/gu2t72M.jpg
Like that?

>>35749232
That's pretty much me. I will try to become cuter though, I think it will be worth it.
>>
i just want to fuck a femboy trap or whatever the fuck they are called with a very feminine voice
and cum inside them


or at the very least try to talk to them and see if that'd be my thing if not i guess i'm straight and not bi


or i'm an asexual piece of shit
>>
>>35749332
sure, why not... not like its any worse
>>
>>>>>>>/lgbt/
This is /r9k/, ya know. Nothing against you guys, it's just that there's a whole board for that shit.
>>
>>35749332
probably forcibly fuck you when you aren't expecting it
that idea turns me on

File: imperial.jpg (49 KB, 355x476)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
You're just sitting there minding your own business, when this bitch comes up to you and farts in your face, how do you respond?
>>
>>35749374
Grab her by the waist spin her around and stare directly into her eyes with my gace an inch from her.
Hold her in place with one hand and slide the other down the back of her pants.
Stick my middle finger up her butthole and wiggle it around, grinding my knuckle into the side of her rectum.


Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.