[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001


Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks Make sure to check your spam box!



[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively. This includes Discord server threads!

File: 1125px-No_selfies.svg[1].png (64 KB, 1125x1024)
64 KB
64 KB PNG
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

>>>/soc/

File: whore roastie.jpg (422 KB, 1392x867)
422 KB
422 KB JPG
This is considered "Gamer Gurll xD" today.
Have luck ever finding, cute introvert kawaii Gam3r Grilll xD..
Bar is higher every day and you loser are not following pace with world.
57 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51583866
>Have luck ever finding, cute introvert kawaii Gam3r Grilll xD..
it was never possible, there was a 10:1 ratio of girls and most of those girls werent cute AND the cute ones always had normie boyfriends

trust me, the game was rigged from the start
>>
>>51583866
>browsing interpals in 2019
give up senpai
>>
>>51584724
This is the most retarded post I've read all month.
>>
>>51583866
>chess online
she's legit af senpai
>>
>>51583866
i fucking hate russians who play on euw like honestly fuck back of tio your own server stupid slavs

File: 1YqKXoY.jpg (41 KB, 640x480)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
Licked my cousin's feet when she was asleep today. It tasted good actually. I masturbated while licking it.

AMA
15 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I like how proud is is abou it
>>
>>51579485
next time lick her asshole and take pictures
>>
>>51584436
I might do that
:^0
>>
>>51579485
sneeded and feeded your cousin
>>
:D
topt

The /britfeel/ nightwatch is always on guard edition

>be me
>autistic retard but somehow manage to get some acquiantances
>one of them insists I come celebrate his birthday with some other people at the beach
>drinking, weed, music all that stuff
>don't want to go but go anyway
>at some point all people are walking around dancing, talking, drinking and generally socializing
>i sit by myself sipping vodka straight from the bottle
>see some girl i recognized from school but didn't know her at all (i mean, she introduced herself to me slightly earlier but we weren't acquianted)
>tell her to sit next to me and we drink a little
>after we get drunk we start cuddling and holding hands
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>next day at school, lockers room
>she sees me and runs straight to me yelling my name and gives me a big ol hug
>soon we start a relationship
>feelsgood

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
File: 1553176130801.png (59 KB, 658x662)
59 KB
59 KB PNG
i was supposed to meet her this weekend but it seems like it's not gonna happen. haven't seen her in person since september. that was only ONCE in the past year and a half.

I honestly don't know if I should message her again and hope she won't ghost me this time or just drink myself to death or live the rest of my life in misery

she was literally the only person that ever seemed to understand me. i felt really comfortable around her. now most of my acquiantances i acquired by pretending to be a normie cunt DUDE WEED LMAO

anyone else in a similiar situation?
>>
>>51587250
Have u tried not being gay
>>
>>51587366
no, never had a chance to try it
>>
What kind of mental retardation do you have?
>>/adv/
You fucking normie.
>>
>>51587471
having slightly more than no social interaction doesn't make me a normie you retard
adv has shit advice i just wanted to whine here

File: 1542205907450.jpg (159 KB, 1080x1225)
159 KB
159 KB JPG
Gaylord edition

Last: >>51571823
33 replies and 13 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51587369
I have but I'm a filthy virgin and,I don't know what other penises smells like
>>
>>51587251
i have one of those :333333
>>
>>51587251
>Tfw hairless legs and hairy body
>>
>>51587401
I have one. I don't know how to describe it's smell. Musky but not in a gross way. It's almost like a pheromone that makes me horny. At least, when it's hard and leaking precum. When it is, it smells really really good to me, which makes me leak some more, and makes it smell even more good.
>>
File: lachowski.jpg (90 KB, 1033x1600)
90 KB
90 KB JPG
Is it true that Brazilian boys look like this?

Why do alt-right faggots like Nietzsche so much even though he would be repulsed by them?

>Minecraft is the reason Gen Z is becoming so redpilled. Here's some fun things to think about:

>Steve: A white male ubermensch who conquers nature and carves it into his own dominion. He builds beautiful structures and ingenious redstone technology.

>Zombies: Represent the bugman. Slow, stupid, and outnumber Steve by 100 to 1. They have no ulterior motives beyond consumption.

>Creepers: Represent muslims. Not only do they blow themselves up but they are also green which is a color strongly associated with Islam.

>Enderman: A tall black man who steals shit, chimps out if you look at it and can't swim

>Villagers: Big nosed merchants who live in the desert and have their hands constantly rubbed together and constantly try to rip you off.

>Notch saw that Sweden was getting cucked and made Minecraft in collaboration with Pewdiepie in an effort to redpill the Aryan youth.
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51586147
>>Steve: A white male
>Steve: white
>>
File: Q5UAXpY.png (43 KB, 542x602)
43 KB
43 KB PNG
>>51586147
>Minecraft is almost 10 years old
>>
>>51586147
Steve is a negro but other than that this post is based and redpilled
>>
>>51586147
What were you expecting? Notch has always been based. Of course he snuck in some memes.
>>
>>51586664
>>51587054
see>>51586218
Steve is white or at least not black.

How often do you shave or trim your pubic hair?
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51586494
Wax your balls
>>
>>51586224
never. No one is ever going to see them. Sometimes I tear out arse hairs when a nugget of shit sticks them together though.
>>
>>51586224
>shave pubes
>develop uncontrollable itch
>get ingrown hairs
>skin prickling
>extreme pain

No thanks
>>
>>51587326
>comb my pubes

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>51586224
I trim from upper thighs to the bottom of my chest every week or so with a #3. Makes wiping easier, makes jacking off better, etc.

File: UEptom7.jpg (328 KB, 1682x2048)
328 KB
328 KB JPG
I hate myself

I finally broke down crying saying "god why" over and over. Why can't I be normal. Why do I have to be a weak minded loser freak, a retarded who can't control himself. God why. It's like i can't win. Why was I even born. God why. The normies just want me to kms. I hate myself. My God I'm afraid and miserable I was trying to improve but I'm a failure. I'm an incel freak. I was a mistake. Now I'm under pressure to be normie and this cold world doesn't give a shit. God why...I guess I have to keep trying...im probably going to be incel my whole life. God why. I can't even formulate my thoughts well. Now I'm procrastinating. Torment. Failure. Despair
12 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51585018
Kys rddit fag
>>
>>51585018
You think this is normal? Your anime girl is disgusted with you as well.
>>
File: 1553289081258.jpg (92 KB, 530x417)
92 KB
92 KB JPG
>>51583339
I hate them so much, for a moment I thought I was lacking of empathy but when I see them mocking us, wishing us dead. Fuck them all, killing is a sin but the thought of their neck being crushed in my hands is the only thing keeping me alive. I will never be normal now, it's too late, nobody care about all the efforts I make. I try everything, I never rest but they just keep pushing and mocking.
We never asked for this, I'm almost sure of it, it's not this kind of trials that make a man strong, living like this for too long just fuck you up to the point of no return. All the efforts we can make will never change a thing.
Soon they will know what suffering and madness is, and I will be there to see it, wait a little longer guys, and you will witness it too, I saw what will happen, trust me.
>>
>>51582993
OP, dude, it doesn't work like that.

Who deserves more respect, the people who were born just like everyone else and to whom everything came naturally almost without trying? Or people like you, me and us here, who have had to work for every single thing we have because we were born so different that nothing came easy?

Who deserves more praise, the women you've chased your entire life who have never done anything at all for you, and don't appreciate anything about you, and through their behavior have never done anything to deserve a single word or thought of praise from you? Or you, someone who has used countless hours of stress, effort, work, money, self improvement and introspection to try and prove yourself to these thankless people?

None of this is opinion. We're all born different, and the way we're born and raised determines who we become. Your failures aren't yours, that's just the hand you were dealt with in this game that is life. The success of those who got everyhing handed to them isn't theirs either, they just got lucky from the day they were born. That doesn't make us better or worse than anyone else. It just makes us different. So, too, are our challenges different, our goals, and our measures of success.

I'm an old fag with many reasons to feel shame or failure (lonely, never loved, not good with people), and many others through which I can feel extremely successful (late life academic bloomer, good career, complete financial independence). And if there's anything I've learned, it's to stop comparing yourself to others. Do what makes you happy. No-one of any significance is going to judge. And those people who do? They really don't matter jack shit.

We really do only get one life, try to accept and love yourself for who you are even if no-one else does, and do what makes you happy.
>>
>>51585018
gay anime poster lole
oregano123

What is the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to you?

Tell us the story.
42 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51587287
Autism, the post.

If you read this you're a fucking faggot. Owned!
>>
>>51587338
You finally changed your typing style, you must actually be a brand new person shitting themselves in a dead thread. I'm so embarrassed by all this social shaming!

Imagine wasting 30 minutes of your life responding to posts that take me a few seconds to make. IMAOing at your SEETHING
>>
>>51587405
Took me seconds son and you got owned. Thanks for the long reply.
>>
>>51587434
I type over a hundred words per minute and you can stop pretending that mobile posting isn't a complete waste of time.

Imagine sitting there on a Friday night on your phone, waiting for me to reply while you bump a thread you hate. The state of SEETHING
>>
>>51587485
thats not even me you're replying to dude. face it, everyone's laughing at you.

File: 1523490866626.jpg (34 KB, 626x717)
34 KB
34 KB JPG
>tfw want to play with some neighborhood cats but they keep running
>tfw start thinking of ways to hurt them
>whenever I do manage to sneak up on one I hold it down and forcefully pet it

Wtf is wrong with me. Mind you I haven't actually done anything yet but I keep thinking about it
>>
>say that again you piece of shit

File: 73038459_p0.png (58 KB, 480x640)
58 KB
58 KB PNG
Guys balls are hotter and more interesting than their dicks and its a shame you all act like bitches when one wants to play with them.
160 replies and 22 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51587017
Not really. Never even have trouble crossing my legs actually.
>>
>>51583145
I hate balls, they're just weird and gross. I wish guys only had penises.
>>
I like how my balls smell, the smell turns me on for some reason when I get a bit sweaty

Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.
>>
>>51587314
>wanting low test betas
Gay confirmed.
>>
File: 1553210836817.jpg (470 KB, 1580x2108)
470 KB
470 KB JPG
>>51587126
Not me, but she contacted a friend who had left her his discord on here since they were from the same country. This a looong while after he gave her the data. She got added to a server and was there for a week or so before leaving. Lately I dont see her on discord too often but posts like these are far too easy to recognize.

>fantasies
The one I remember the most was about having to select fertile guys by smelling their chests, armpits, and then balls, and some shit about cumming on condoms. A real pervert and pretty cool with us despite me being a furry which is normally shat upon.

File: 69wrw4hmi1d11.png (1.77 MB, 1500x1500)
1.77 MB
1.77 MB PNG
Mongols genocided white people in central asia so their "native" american descendants shouldnt complain about being genocided by whites
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>51587399
nice bait post you commie kike
>>
File: bantu.jpg (344 KB, 1448x1103)
344 KB
344 KB JPG
>>51587399
amerinds genocided the fuck out of each other too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K84c7NlZzno

also pic related, blacks genocided each other too
>>
>>51587421
why were mongols such blood thirsty savages?
>>
>>51587480
The highlands was a harsh place. The only form of government that could survive was one based on violence and conquest. The rest withered and died.
>>
File: Spurdo.jpg (102 KB, 1600x900)
102 KB
102 KB JPG
My ancestors :D




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.