[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

[Advertise on 4chan]

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

12/20/15New trial board added: /wsr/ - Worksafe Requests
11/28/15New trial text board added: /news/ - Current News
11/12/15Name changed. WWE topics on /asp/ - Alternative Sports & Wrestling
[Hide] [Show All]


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: 1455174944516.jpg (190 KB, 1620x1160)
190 KB
190 KB JPG
Who TRUMP here?

USA USA USA USA USA USA
98 replies and 27 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27008502
Trump mostly knows how to fail without taking himself down. He's had nothing but failed ventures while selling his name as a brand.
>>
>>27008446
>people still pushing this meme
embarrassing
>>
>>27008483
3DPD
D3DP
PD3D
DPD3
>>
>>27007238
Why don't Bernie bros realize that until Hillary is out of the picture, attacking Trump only makes Hillary stronger? Leftists really are just useful idiots.
>>
Trump's campaign is a distraction. Rubio is much further right than Trump, but nobody seems to recognize this. Rubio wants to play tough guy on Iran, China, North Korea, etc. He's very anxious to start a war with any or all of those countries. Trump is a lunatic, but at least he isn't bent on starting wars.

That said, I don't like Trump. But I think a President Rubio would be far, far worse than people realize. People automatically assume that Trump is the most radically conservative candidate.

File: 1457276664606.jpg (61 KB, 689x800)
61 KB
61 KB JPG
>tfw guys at the local gaming store start hitting on you

fuck. off. I'm not that kind of woman
117 replies and 21 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27008419
>racist
Not that anon. Just pointing out how intolerant you are. Certainly not better than your average American racist if you promote violence over democracy.
>>
>>27008435
Ready to kill yourself yet? Let the rage flow through you. Rage at being autistic, a kissless virgin, and a brown person ~~~
>>
>>27008444
Cry more cunt you're a whore racist you are nothing but trash
>>
>>27008498
Neat go fuck yourself and get out
>>
>>27008477
i dont have any right now

File: 2pac.jpg (87 KB, 610x799)
87 KB
87 KB JPG
>be black
>work in mostly latino area
>all the hispanic people are mean and call me mayate

why do they hate me?
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
well...as a white ass Mexican I can say that my people are the most blindly racist assholes on the planet.

at least you aren't Guatemalan.
>>
>be latino
>work with all black people
>feel left out

Everyone is nice, cordial, civilized and they treat one another with respect.
>>
looks like this ese came to the wrong barrio

pinche mayate ay hitler was right
>>
>>27008524
p-please don't kill me. I'm just a nerdy black guy that likes anime and kpop
>>
File: 1455801554200.jpg (156 KB, 750x961)
156 KB
156 KB JPG
>be white
>work only with other whites
>the few times I've even encountered blacks or hispanics us white people became deeply uncomfortable

What's really sad is that this isn't the norm in most of the US.

File: 1455684265839.gif (324 KB, 450x302)
324 KB
324 KB GIF
>4 page essay due tomorrow night
>write at the pace of a high schooler
Am I dead, robots?

I'm thinking of getting a pretty female therapist to help me work out my issues.

Has anyone here done this before? How did it go?
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27008375
Kek, I always feel like people who get therapists just feel sorry for themselves, but I would like to mess with a person like like that.
>>
Mine is a qt puertorican and I'm more comfortable talking to her because it's easier to relate to someone of your same culture.
>>
>>27008375
Yes that's what I want, a cute normie girl I can tell my thoughts to.

Then she'll tell me that they're wrong and why, and teach me how to think healthy thoughts instead.
>>
>>27008456
Why be a normie? Life is better like this. The grass may seem greener on the other side. But I promise you, it's not.
>>
>>27008512
If my thought process stopped being screwed up though, then maybe I could find a gf who loves me.

File: IMG_0071.jpg (195 KB, 600x450)
195 KB
195 KB JPG
Are you ok with he size of your penis?
>>
were is the vaginal preference chart?

were is the ass shape preference chart?

were is the tits shape preference chart?

were is the girls are fucking little cumwhore charts

What's your excuse for not getting an onahole /r9k/? pic related, I got this one last week.
32 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27008307
Not required to get your own place brobot.
>>
File: 1455317964483.gif (98 KB, 314x319)
98 KB
98 KB GIF
>>27007562
>>27008217
BLASPHEMY

There is no such thing as an artificial vagina that feels even equal to real pussy, no onahole, no tenga, no fleshlight, no bad dragon.

We need hyper realistic virtual reality and hyper realistic artificial vaginas.
>>
>>27008307
I don't have any of those things, and I'm bipolar as well. I was a neet for 4 years after highschool and it just took me that long to need to leave.
>>
File: 1425300308850.jpg (15 KB, 405x371)
15 KB
15 KB JPG
>>27008356
>>27008399
I want to avoid being too trite here, but I think you should both go
>>
>>27008363
I couldn't even cum when I lost my virginity. So no thanks.

File: 1.jpg (1017 KB, 1920x1280)
1017 KB
1017 KB JPG
let's see what kind of destitute shitholes you degenerates live in

mines probably pretty tame in comparison
325 replies and 92 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: Snapshot_20160308.jpg (54 KB, 640x480)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
Does anyone else plant stuff in their rooms from seed? I think it is rewarding and relaxing and I get connected to my plants which is kinda stupid but I don't have much else
>>
File: petalous.jpg (1.06 MB, 3264x2448)
1.06 MB
1.06 MB JPG
Could have been worse right?
>>
File: Snapshot_20160308_1.jpg (54 KB, 640x480)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
>>27006191
cool, I have the 400r which is a pretty good case. it's solid and looks good. it has the lights like yours but mine are never on. they are too cold for me but it looks good in your room
>>
>>27008342
What desk is that ?
>>
File: Snapshot_20160308_2.jpg (105 KB, 640x480)
105 KB
105 KB JPG
also guys if you want to make your room a little comfier you should invest in a desk lamp and one of these LED bulbs with controller. you can set the mood well, my favourite is a dim orange, i never have it on anything else, you can change it with this remote
really cool and really cheap

theres more expensive systems but i take it we're all on the same page as far as financial situation goes...............

File: 1454316523842.png (25 KB, 599x740)
25 KB
25 KB PNG
>got myself a shy, intelligent not to bad maybe 6/10 gf
>she only had sex with two people before
>nerdy interests
>always thought this is the kind of girl i wanted
>her family really digs me
>i am incredibly bored and annoyed with her
>not nearly as good as my first relationship with a roastie
> actually thinking about breaking up and i am actually reaching out to other girls

You robots believe you want a shy nerdy qt. but you want a roastie. Actually wanting a girl so bad in the first place is your mistake. Fight club got it pretty right, thesolution to your problem isnt another fucking women. Do you really believe a girl wont incredibly annoy you in your autistic ways? Even if she is very accepting like mine she will annoy you. Just think about it, you are really hard pressed to socialize with people do you think it will be better with your gf ? They are annoying as shit.
11 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27007361
Pretty close. Schizotypal; it is related to schizophrenia, but is often mistaken for autism because it has lots of similar symptoms. It is also concurrent with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (primarily Obsessive).
>>
>>27006990
I'm in a similar boat OP
>nerdy, dorky, quirky girl
>cute
>loves spending time with me
>said she is falling for me
>im probably falling for her too
but
>nearly a robots worst nightmare for a past
>always wants to spend time with me
>can be a bit clingy/needy
We have only just started going out, but she wants to be with me 24/7. Like i need my space, im too used to having it that way
Hopefully i'll get used to her
>>
>>27007409
Thats bad m8, sorry for being so offensive before. Just tired of tumblr tier people claiming to be autists.

>>27007447
Do you actually enjoy spending time with her ? 24/7 is freaking bad. I am used to my free space and vlaue that extremly high. I cant really get used to my girl desu. I like beeing alone and have a pretty set routine. On weekdays im pretty autistic vidya watching etc., while i am socializing with my friends on the weekend. Now i have to devote part of my week to her cause there is no way in hgell i will spend my weekends with her. I cant even get used to that but maybe you are another peice of cake.
>>
>>27007587
I do enjoy spending time with her, but jesus not every second day. I've got vidya to play and study to do, and they take alot of time. Like i'm willing to take her out at most twice a week and have her stay over, but any more than that is a bit taxing
>>
File: gk.jpg (48 KB, 347x470)
48 KB
48 KB JPG
>>27006990
same boat

>sheltered SE asian girl who was forced to take care of her younger siblings
>9/10 for dark laotian girl, 6-7/10 overall
>never talked to boys or wore make up before college
>had one small dick asian bf who she had sex with once
>desperate for a bf
>i ask her on a date
>fuck her the first time
>gave her her first orgasm (so sheltered she never even really understood how to play with herself)
>stage 5 clinger
>borderline stalks me
>i like it and let her be my gf
>cooks all my meals, cleans my apartment, sex/blowjobs whenever i want 24/7

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: areacode.jpg (10 KB, 250x193)
10 KB
10 KB JPG
lets go faggots 712 here
84 replies and 12 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
336 hmu if u blowin loud
>>
trap in da 404 770
>>
stop bringing /soc/ shit to r9k

none of you are going to meet, just like none in /soc/ ever meet
>>
>>27005793
607
Anybody that lives near me can get fucked
So can the rest of you normalfags
>>
>>27008088
204 here gurl

File: 1456967656931s.jpg (5 KB, 189x165)
5 KB
5 KB JPG
Can we have a vocaroo thread?
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27007016
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0T13S8fP6DK
>>
File: 1455542459217.jpg (287 KB, 630x581)
287 KB
287 KB JPG
>>27006742
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ZoiIazz08s
>>
File: 1437883620620.jpg (64 KB, 584x759)
64 KB
64 KB JPG
>>27006742
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1C6hTA9tH21
>>
>>27007142
I'd like to think we can
>>
>>27008331
you should say MAY we have a vocaroo thread pussy

I'm a drunk pianist, I'll take musical requests if you have any.

File: The past is the past.webm (866 KB, 400x205)
866 KB
866 KB WEBM
>we live in an age where people unironically claim the number of a woman's sexual partners doesn't matter
Are you fucking kidding me? Think about the emotional significance of just one relationship. The moments you share. The experiences you undergo. The things you do together. That person, man or woman, is a huge, huge part of your life. Now multiply that by two, three, four, fucking ten, twenty people. How many times before you has she snuggled up to a man in the exact same way and said, "I love you"? How many men have been in that bed? How many men have shoved their cocks in her?

It's disgusting. What's even more disgusting is how NORMAL it's become in the eyes of society. A 19 year-old girl can have five different sexual partners by that age and no one bats an eye.

I want off this fucking ride.
299 replies and 45 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27008373
Promiscuity is fucking disgusting though, you'll never have a good marriage, you're more prone to diseases and you wont have a successful relationship in the future.

Meanwhile i'm in my late 20's making 80k a year and saving my money, buying property and investing and all these used sluts act like they're interested in me after all these years because they are no longer appealing to faggots at the bar.
>>
>>27007283
Okay 50 dudes ate out of the same bowl of cereal one after the other.
>>
>>27008438
>You and people that think like you write articles that try to shame guys into dating and marrying sluts.

Shaming only works on the lowest betas.
And honey we don't want any of you.
>>
>>27008474
>I'm swear I'm happy with my life and everything around me even though I'm still bitter at people that ignored my ugly unsocial ass for decades.

Boo hoo crybaby. At least you have your property.
>>
File: image.jpg (85 KB, 500x500)
85 KB
85 KB JPG
>>27008324
I agree with the Canadian. Especially online. It's fucking horrible. Even fugly hambeasts are so use to a constant stream of attention that it's ridiculous. One such beast added me on facebook(fuck you. Dank memes) and witin a day started demanding I give her attention like I owed it to her. What kind of entitlement bullshit is that?!

Btw I ignored her. We Stacy now!

File: moogle.png (22 KB, 731x438)
22 KB
22 KB PNG
moot sure is doing well.
24 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>27007556
>not abandoning your principles for money makes you autistic
>>
>>27007428
>I promise I'm not one massive impairment
>>
>>27007623
Having some self respect is autistic now ?
>>
>>27007556
Spotted the wagecuck living paycheck to paycheck
>>
>>27007672
That's the best non-retort I've ever heard.

File: 1457290785585.gif (233 KB, 500x281)
233 KB
233 KB GIF
>parents fucking loudly even tho the door is closed
>need to shit
>Dont want to hear it
>put earbuds onto chromebook
>take chromebook into bathroom
>listen to league of legends videos as the shit wells up in my ass
>let out the most disgusting shit
>Moan outloud
>bang on the wall
>it stops
>but they dont yell at me
>They're clearly disgusted
>shutting my bowels out while listening to videos
>And browing /v/ so I take in the shit through my eyes and unleash it through my asshole


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1453238640099.jpg (25 KB, 411x419)
25 KB
25 KB JPG
>>27007164
gf advice when
>>
File: 78yhifv.jpg (47 KB, 960x720)
47 KB
47 KB JPG
>>27008309
nigga got friendzoned again
>>
File: 1454769534607.gif (524 KB, 500x620)
524 KB
524 KB GIF
>>27008398
nice brows
original comment
>>
File: 3rieno.jpg (65 KB, 960x720)
65 KB
65 KB JPG
>>27008452
u fucken w0t m8?
>>
>>27008473

>Avatar posting

time to get banned plan-b

hope u have a plan-c


[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.