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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

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They're both escorting in my city next month. Katrina $1300. Elsa $1600. $2500 for them together.

Should I do it bros?
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>>
>>31677777
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY LOOK AT THEM ANGELIC PENTS
>>
>>31677652
You can find women who are just as hot but cheaper because they aren't known

1000+ dollars for sex... It's like paying that much for a meal. Yeah it was nice but you'll just be hungry/horny again tomorrow
>>
>>31677729
99% of those ads are bait-and-switch whores that look nothing like the picture

there's a reason you're paying so little
>>
>1500 bux
>For sex

Lolwut, round here you can get an hour with a girl that looks like that or better for like $60. Why pay more just because these cunts think they're worth it?

Do you really think they'll give a shit about you, or about making your experience worth 1500? They won't.
>>
>>31677652
Unless you are beyond any redemption, don't pay for sex.
If you are, don't pay 1300$ for it.

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>Get sorted into Gryffindor
>10/10 chicks throw themselves at you every day of the week so they can feel your gigantic, dragon-slaying "bravery" throbbing inside them

>Get sorted into Ravenclaw
>300k starting salary upon graduation, any job you want. Literally no one will disagree with you, and if they do you can shut them up with the million things their pea-sized brains missed

>Get sorted into Slytherin
>Get connections for life and you're set, never have to work hard another single day. Plus, no one is going to fuck with you on the off chance you're a badass Dark Wizard

>mfw sorted into Hufflepuff
>Get a D- in life up front, best I can hope for is a degree in magical accountancy. No woman will ever date me unless they're also a 2/10 Hufflepuff.

Should I just end my life now, guys?
7 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31677766
>Just Imperio some hot girl. It works every time here in Slytherin.
mooods
>>
>>31677849

How the fuck am I supposed to get past that thing? The headmaster threatened to expel anyone caught on the 3rd floor right wing corridor, plus the cute little ball of fluff breathes FUCKING FIRE
>>
>>31677804
>>31677740
>>31677715

This shit right here is why I sleep 12 hours a fucking day. Apparently I've been active/lucid dreaming my entire fucking life without realizing what I was doing until a few years ago. Dreamworld is much more favorable to the waking.
>>
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>>31677624
Gotta love those hogwarts threads.
>>
For real, though, why is Hufflepuff even a thing?

You got all the wizard archetypes in the other teams.

>Gryffindoor is righteous, noble wizards
>Ravenclaw is wise, eccentric wizards
>Slytherin is dark wizard bait for assholes

The fuck does Hufflepuff even do? Are they the special ed team?

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>"anon why do you never talk, you need to join our conversations more often"
>when you talk they just ignore everything you say
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>>
>>31677059
Why would you care what those useless NPCs think of you anyway?
>>
Holy fuck.

Sometimes I wonder if it's so fucking bad just in America.

Born in Poland, moved to Spain.

Always universally liked even though I felt like a piece of shit. When someone tried to bully me I put on a smug faggy face and laughed about it. Everytime I tried to say something at least two people started silencing others to allow me to speak. People always thought that I was extremely full of myself yet I had no confidence at all

I think you guys should stop giving a fuck about faggots and try to show them who's the boss.
>>
>>31677130
I don't, I merely described their reaction.
>>
>move away from city
>move back
>somehow someone sees me and invites me to a party
>for about 2 minutes everyone is really excited and happy acting
>they then ignore me the entire night and haven't spoken to me since
why did you do this
>>
I always feel as though everyone else is aware of something I am not. It's almost as if I myself and normies live in entirely different worlds, or they have access to a world I'm unable to.

Like there's nothing worse than always being excluded despite your best efforts. If I didn't try at least I could use not having tried as an excuse, but to try and fail to become an "insider" just makes it worse.

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What does he say here?


qqqq
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>>
So mom, how was your day?
>>
>>31677546
"tfw no gf"

originaleee
>>
>>31677546
"yo yo whitey, I'm a dumb nigger want sum fuk"
>>
>>31677546
"I make $750,000 a year."
>>
I think it finally hit me I might be "on the spectrum".

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WOMEN HAVE INVADED EVERY FACET OF MY LIFE AND I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT. THEY INVADE MY VIDEO GAMES. THEY INVADE MY CARD GAMES. THEY INVADE MY IMAGEBOARDS. I FUCKING HATE WOMEN. FUCK OFF WHORES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>"my ex"
>"my first relationship"
>"my last relationship"
>>
>talking to me

Biggest red flag there is.
She must be retarded or up to something.
>>
>>31677764
Go on. Tell us more about how you are entitled to a woman who has never even touched a man on the shoulder
>>
>>31677764
OP, if you're an adult and only want women who have never been in a relationship before, you'll only end up with weirdos and physically deformed people.

being a functional human being with social skills is not a fucking red flag, you moron.

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Anyone else hate it when normies say that they're "depressed" or "suffering from depression"? Same with "My OCD is acting up lololol," etc. I fucking hate it when they trivialize shit like that.
13 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31677840
This is the third time I've had to repeat this, but I'm clinically diagnosed, Anon. I'm not making this shit up.
>>
>>31677558
"robots" do it all the time too
>who else /self-diagnosedbullshit/ ?
>>
>>31677680
Prolonged periods of sadness alter the brain chemicals in a way that causes clinical depression.

Depression does NOT discriminate in means.
The reason normies get it less than the recluse is because they don't experience constant environmental factors constantly altering the chemical state of the brain.

This is high-school tier knowledge, sounds like you didn't even study it at all.
>>
>>31677883
'Anon Anonson's gflessness entails significant social impairment and justifies diagnosis of major depression. Stacy Gorberg, M. D.'
>>
>>31677930
>Gorberg
*Goldberg

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>tfw no /gentle femdom/ gf to hug me and tell me everything will be ok
>tfw no older-sister type gf to take you on an adventure
>tfw real women are shit anyway so I'll remain alone, jaded and empty until I die

Why is the real world so dull and shitty?
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>>
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>>31676746
Damn, why must we suffer?
Why must we exist in such a horrible universe?
>>
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>>31676770
>Haruko will never want to fooly cooly you
>she will never take you on an adventure on her scooter
>she will never teach you how to play her guitar.

Real life a shit.
But I guess we gotta do best with what we got.
>>
>>31676811
Fuck, don't do this to me anon.

>you will never come home one day to find her loafing around in your room
>you will never slowly develop a mutual affection for each other
>you will never confess your love to your alien oneesan
>>
I'm not even interested in 3D women anymore. Like, I can still feel sexually attracted to them but I don't give a fuck about them.

2D is just too perfect. Virtual reality when?
>>
So is this a /gfd/ thread or what

Post rare peri
>>
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>>31677911
I like Steven Universe.
I like Peridot.

Fuck off back to /co/.

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What do yo use to cope with wagecucking each week my fellow employed anons?
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>>
Weed and hookers, sometimes I even pay the hookers in weed.
>>
>>31677115
Wow that sounds really fucked up man

How can you eat food while being inches away from a puic bathroom floor
>>
>>31676396
>tfw can't daydream because your job involves a high degree of accuracy and concentration.
>>
Vidya, anime, and comics

Also the hope that all this saving money will pay off one day. So far it already is. Since I can start college next year without the need for a loan, and can buy most vidya easily now.
>>
>>31677149
WHAT JOB HOW'D YOU GET IT?!

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If you get dubs in this thread you will die painlessly in your sleep tonight.
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>>
Roll to liberate my soul.
>>
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zipalipdipzop dowow bless me with dubs comfy tv show man of date rape and jello puddin
>>
>>31676800
Praise kek originalIy
>>
Nigga, it ain't just that easy.
Man can dream, though.
>>
>>31674981
God I wish that were me

Originale

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How do you differentiate between a girl just being friendly or ACTUALLY liking you?
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>>
>>31677592
Ask her out on a date. If she says yes, she likes you.
>>
>>31677761
That means she has a crush on you.
We're talking about just liking me, no girl instantly has a crush on us.
>>
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>women co-worker in her 40s said if I got asked to dinner by her, would I come and I said yeah
>So many men try to hit on her

When female ask YOU PERSONALLY if you want to do something OUTSIDE of work/school, it is a sign.
>>
>>31677485
If she's nice with you because you happen to be there then she's just being nice, if she makes it so both of you are together then she likes you.

Also you could just try to touch her in a non-sexual non-creep way and see how she reacts
>>
I don't. I just assume every girl acting friendly likes me and I proceed accordingly.

The rest sorts itself out. Let her reject you.

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Daily reminder that love is a spook.
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>>
>>31676605
Oh, I've read Johann's work, and still get a hearty chuckle when I re-read it
>>
No it isn't. Stirner didn't say love is a spook and its probably one of the only that isn't because if you do something as an act of love, you're ALWAYS doing it for your own benefit.
>>
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>>31677240

A spook is something that commands you to act against your own wishes even though it isn't real. For example, when you stay out of a room because you're scared its haunted even though it isn't because ghosts don't exist. That's where the term comes from.
>>
>>31677525
huh, guess my point still stands, should just use a different term
>>
>>31677760

Well no because it meant to describe the nature of ideology and how people hold power over others. Kim Jong Un doesn't hold power over North Korea because he the strongest, he's a 5'5 manlet, and his "army" could easily kill him if they wanted to. The reason they don't is because terrified of what they *believe* he can do and what power he might have they don't know about, which is none. That's the reason liberalism even took 200,000 years to develop and the reason the powers that be spent (spend) so long making sure people stayed in their place and didn't try to get out e.g "the rich man in his castle, the poor man at his gate, god them high and lowly, and ordered their estate" from the hyme "all things bright and beautiful". Here, peasent were made to bleieve that it was pious and natural to be a peasent, and if you rebelled you going against the word of God. That's what a spook is.

Fembots. In what ways are you not like the other girls?
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>>
>>31677784
no, i haven't even gotten my chance to do it. you're trying to pull the ladder up behind you
>>
How do I use mentally damaged femanons?

Teach me
>>
>tfw oneitis is a tumblrina and not a fembot
why was I cursed with this feel?
>>
>>31677784

But I don't want to use mentally damaged femanons. I want to love one and cuddle them and give headpats to them and start a family with them.
>>
>>31677892
that's just because you're mentally damaged yourself and can sympathize with them. :3


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