[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: IMG_8403.jpg (25 KB, 486x303)
25 KB
Robots, take refuge in the fact that you'll never be as autistic as me

>be me, 10 or 11 idk
>year 5 or 6
>crushing on this girl hard
>she got braces and her voice changed
>go up to her in front of all of her friends
>get down on one knee and start talking about "oh you can change your voice? I can too"
>say "green, your underwear is" in a Yoda voice
>crippling shame to this day

Bonus feels
>handed out cards with contact details to friends on graduation like a true autist
>missed crush but all g Catholic school means need to go back to church at night
>after church see her standing between two palm trees, it's midnight, full moon, not a cloud in the sky

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>green, your underwear is

Fucking hell anon
File: 1466262975263.jpg (78 KB, 682x1024)
78 KB
Fuck bro, i hit the eject button on the get too a knee part. I can't cringe any harder.

>6th grade
>send school mini candygram to crush to be delivered valentines day
>everyday for the month
>instant regret
>I can't even remember the faggot messages I wrote, just shit poetry. Probably blocking out the details
>Everyone knows that this bitch got like 20+ minicandygrams from tge same guy
>16 years later I still claim I remember no one or nothing from middle school
>only slightly true, I have these glimpses of shame I can't forget
>girl avoided me forever and we never spoke again
>my desperate grab for a friend and companion failed in the worse year of school life, no friends, abandoned by old friends, bullied by everyone for being weird
>from that day on, I knew it was a bad idea to not only ask girls out but to even initiate friendships in any form of my own
>I moved after 7th

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>green, your underwear is

Holy shit, I can't even talk to girls and here we have Chad literally telling girls what colour their underwear is?

>Girl in my class and I were paired in the same group for a project
It was a good run, see you on the other side boys
d-did she touch your paper?
>girl touched my paper at the same time as me and touched my hand before jerking her arm back and making a disgusted face
Were basically fucking right now, see ya, virgins!

File: 49b.gif (31 KB, 921x921)
31 KB
Have any of you anons tried this? It looks like advanced imaginary friends pretty much, it could be the answer.
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
That honestly sounds amazing, might just try that this winter when the true depression kicks in and I don't want to do anything
nah not a dashyfag
File: 1374017660048.gif (258 KB, 500x375)
258 KB
258 KB GIF
Yeah but it does not seem like something I could actually dedicate myself to or focus on long enough for anything to come out of it. I've also got trouble focusing solely on my thoughts for long periods of time without them wandering elsewhere, generally into intrusive-thought territory.
I'd also rather not really go into self-induced schizophrenia or anything since my family already has a good history of that type of bullshit.
File: WtfNigger.jpg (18 KB, 366x380)
18 KB
>Summoning schyzophrenia on purpose
I had a Tulpa she was starting to become sentient but i decided to not let her become sentient, now she is locked deep under my mind

File: 591.gif (1.08 MB, 964x912)
1.08 MB
1.08 MB GIF
>tfw going to see a movie by myself for the first time this afternoon
Hopefully they don't have a no singles policy...
50 replies and 16 images omitted. Click here to view.
So Americans can't even trust other Americans to watch movies alone?
I don't know about that, but I know that I can trust robots to be gullible as fuck.

No, in America they have laws preventing people from watching movies by themselves. This is what any intelligent cultured civilization would do, and it proves how other countries have no regard for their own citizens, allowing them to go into movie theaters by themselves to watch movies.

Just imagine the legal, psychological, and interpersonal health problems that would be caused by showing disregard and allowing people to watch a movie by themself.

This is exactly why there are so many problems in your country.

I know a lot of people who I used to call friends, until one day they made the irresponsible decision to break the law and go see a movie by themselves.

Fortunately, law enforcement was always able to catch them in the act, and they are all serving lengthy prison sentences, just like they deserve...

Just imagine having such disregard for yourself and others that you would decide you get to take the law into your own hands and go sit in the movie theater by yourself watching a God damn movie as if the laws don't apply to you.

I'm glad they're in prison, because I stopped considering them friends immediately after I heard about their irresponsible behavior and disregard for others.

I used to think they were cool, until I realized that they are actually scumbags.
Nowadays you'll get thrown out if you try to see a movie alone, it's ridiculous.

File: burning-baby-carriage.jpg (40 KB, 450x600)
40 KB
I spent all my money on drugs, and couldn't afford to fly. I took a greyhound bus, a woman and her brat sat next to me. It wouldn't shut up so I lit it on fire. For 30 seconds it was louder, then it shut up.
why even write this
You live in a houseboat. You're so poor it barely floats. You're white trash you're fucking broke. Trailer park thinks you're a joke. You're a dumb stupid fag. Your dog wears a bandana. You have no teeth. You have tattoos of an anchor. Your house has a leak.

File: elliot.jpg (4 KB, 225x225)
4 KB
Who thinks everything he said and his entire manifesto were fake and he is just a suicidal psychopath with a twisted sense of humor?

I've read everything he's written. This CAN'T be real. The amount of crying which is unreal for an adult, deliberately picking fights with stronger people, the masochistic tendency to view himself as an inferior loser etc... it reads like a fucking satire.

When you plan to die you can say whatever you want. He could have said that he is religious and wants to send everyone to heaven because he loves them. What did he do? He picked the funniest and most cringey explanation possible to gather publicity. "Angry virgin" is a lot funnier and more memorable than "Your standard textbook psycho slaugthers everyone."

Some people who are addicted to fame will do anything for fame. It doesn't matter if it is positive fame or negative fame. He wasn't a virgin. He was a rich chad who went nuts, because his dad became poor and his family declined into poverty. Plus he wanted to parody the snob stereotype of being sheltered, but weak and pathetic. His entire plan was to attack the wealthier class to which he no longer belonged. The killing is only a part of it. The real aim was to display that class in a negative light in the media.

File: 1508195111550.jpg (102 KB, 1280x720)
102 KB
102 KB JPG
I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't.
I'm sorry, but this was inevitable from the very first day we met. I'm poison... and poison can never stray from its true nature.
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
File: tongue.jpg (53 KB, 1280x720)
53 KB

Let me guess anon, borderline personality disorder?
I hate that I got inside my head and it let me push away the most interesting person I've met in months, probably years.
I know this post isn't going to be original, so here's a filler sentence.
>being a.shit person to someone willing to love you
>i'm so evil lel
It's the "i am a bad person and will make you suffer" the fedoralord edgy attitude in a female version.
I'll date you, but only if we plan for marriage later.

Seriously, how could a creature that burns up in the sunlight and drinks the blood of humans realistically survive in our world without being either immediately destroyed or detected?

Vampires simply don't exist. And anyone who tells you otherwise is obviously lying and you shouldn't believe them.

Once again, vampires ARE NOT REAL. They are works of fiction. There are not vampires in your neighborhood. They do not prowl the night seeking to feast on human blood. And they do not possess extraordinary capabilities to overwhelm their human victims.

I mean come on, only children would believe in something like that.
35 replies and 8 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: 0cdbff219.jpg (27 KB, 376x450)
27 KB
y-you're saying other vampires exist?\
>tfw no cute loli vampire mistress
Actually, they're based on 18th century lesbians.
>tfw no lesbian vamp gf to nibble on my thighs
this guy knows what's up, original commentarino

File: 1507652894700.png (65 KB, 1200x900)
65 KB
What makes you happy at this point?
147 replies and 37 images omitted. Click here to view.
music is nice. also I get some satifaction from work. i like my job
Wtf depressed when u get quads11!!

oregano desu ne
meditating, consuming media
File: 1425030687646.jpg (114 KB, 597x429)
114 KB
114 KB JPG
Looking forward to death, hoping there's no "reincarnation soul karma buddhist" bullshit after it.

File: 1507734757843.png (155 KB, 619x365)
155 KB
155 KB PNG


AiC is the best AiC album
Cool guys in a cool thread.

I used to think this but Dirt is really the best. Rain When I Die, Rooster, Would, Dam That River, Angry Chair, and Down in a Hole are hands down their highest concentration of quality songs.
Hey you're cool too brother.


File: 1500234397281.jpg (25 KB, 579x329)
25 KB
>spent ages 9-20 behind various computer screens 24/7
>never get a gf
>never go to prom
>never play sports or make a friend group
>entirety of youth spent 100% in my dark room
>literally 0 memories of ever living
A-Anyone else like this?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
Same here, and I miss it. I'm 27 now, and spend most of my waking time dealing with idiots at work. Enjoy your computer time.
Do something about it.
You deserve better!
i wish, i actually did all those things, except for the gf part and i wish id stayed in my dark room
File: IMG_2176.jpg (39 KB, 327x360)
39 KB
That was basically me from ages 13 - 16. Playing DOTA 2 and other Steam games. I left for school, came home, did homework, then locked myself up in my room for the rest of the night to play games.
I was pretty good at DOTA 2, but I could never do e-sports. I despise the concept, and it's such a competitive enterprise that I would have lottery level chances of getting in.
I bet you never even broke 7k mmr you shitter

File: CnJ5dDzUkAAD11T.jpg large.jpg (321 KB, 1428x1426)
321 KB
321 KB JPG
How do you assess if a girl is interested in you without ruining your friendship?
28 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
if you're friends with a girl for more than 2 weeks and you haven't asked her out then you are already in the beta bitch zone but don't realize it
This. If you expect nothing it's a win/win
If the girl isn't interested, neither were you so no big deal
If the girl is, well it's a nice surprise and now you have a gf
You don't. You take a chance with her, and if you end up ruining the friendship, then oh well. Maybe try hitting on girls you don't know that well.
>your friendship
It's hardly a friendship if one wants to fuck the other.
>ruining a one-sided friendship
and nothing of value was lost.

Just endless requests for "favors" and dumping her emotional baggage on you like a therapist.

File: AcVV01l.jpg (28 KB, 600x400)
28 KB
>tfw no Joi gee eff
1 reply and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>hello baby sweet!
>see BR2049
>that scene with Joi changing outfits and hairstyles at whim
>tfw shapeshifter fetish
File: 1508386700358.jpg (199 KB, 1024x428)
199 KB
199 KB JPG
>You're a good joe...
how much pron do you have to consume on a daily basis to form something as retarded as a shapesifter fetish. what the fuck is wrong with you
>he doesn't want a gf with literally infinite possibilities
you might be the biggest fucking plebian in existence

File: 213.jpg (25 KB, 402x306)
25 KB
>tfw no qt bf/gf to help me fix my sleeping schedule
6 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
Eat shit cunt
File: question.jpg (32 KB, 476x350)
32 KB
Would uggo be more suitable for someone like you?
Why do you need to fix it?
File: Tomoko_Dat_Ass.png (113 KB, 384x420)
113 KB
113 KB PNG
Lots of reasons. For one, I want to get in the habit of doing squats early in the morning before showering again. Also staying up until I can't keep my eyes open and then waking up at like 3pm is top tier neet degeneracy, and I always wake up feeling physically and mentally disgusted. pic related.
I was in that same position, now I go to sleep at a comfy 12 am. And wake up at 5 am. I'd help ya Familia.

File: 1505465119880.jpg (9 KB, 211x183)
9 KB
What are some /r9k/ like minded YouTubers?
2 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
there are obvious robot types that make channels but what would a "/r9k/ like minded" one be? just melancholic?
mumkey jones but he is secretly a fucking normie (he has a gf and friends)

he is r9k meming all the fucking time and talks about elliot rodger in every video (he even made an elliot rosger waifu pillow which he gangbangs every night together with his gf)

he is also a /pol/tard and watches mlp and anime
Eggman himself
One that calls women out on their bullshit.
I watch him too, been loving the long streams but RE4 is boring as fuck to me so I can't wait until he starts Silent Hill 3

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.