[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]

Meta on /qa/ only.
All meta discussion of boards is to be redirected to /qa/.

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: ChbIC9AUoAAebr2.jpg (28 KB, 800x522)
28 KB
>be me
>sitting in family room with neet friendo
>both waiting for my mum to fuck off to the store so we can use the big tv for some naruto ultimate ninja storm 3
>she wont says she will in a second
>now shes ripping ass loud as fuck with my friend right infront of me
>this fucking bitch im thinking
>fast forward 15 minutes she finally leaves the fucking cunt
>start hooking everything up and grab the joys
>oh hey bro you want some drinks?
>ye am thirst
>ok hold on then load up a match
>run down the hall and crawl down the stairs on all fours
>oh shit i forgot to ask him what he wants
>walk back up the steps and down the hall

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
i wouldnt but she has a fat ass

because shes annoying
Haha wtf is going on in this bread.

I used to slide down the stairs by laying like a log at the top feet facing the bottom of the stairs and then slightly pushing myself to start gliding down.
>this fucking autist is sniffing face first the spot in the recliner where my mum was farting

What the fuck is wrong with him

File: DQLSaBxX0AAIT_-.png (477 KB, 720x634)
477 KB
477 KB PNG
Be honest with yourself - do you really want a femboy bf or do you want to BE the femboy bf?
77 replies and 13 images omitted. Click here to view.
>hookups and casual sex
you're a fucking degenerate. no better than a god damn roastie.
If you weren't taller than me :(
File: 1507264386320.jpg (65 KB, 702x691)
65 KB
normal bf is the superior choice
Does it matter that much anon? I wouldn't care and would still love you. :(
do people really consider this a dealbreaker?!

Does anybody else often cry about hypothetical scenarios that they imagine? I do it a lot right before I go to sleep. I just stopped a few minutes ago actually for tonight.
I think about hypothetical outcomes for every action I take to remain 2 steps ahead, but can't say I cry over them
I sometimes image getting in a relationship with someone and them cheating on me and then I kill them in brutal fashion.

>y-you did WHAT at that sleepover with your friends???
>b-b-but anon-kun, i thought boys weren't supposed to do those kinds of things with other boys!?
51 replies and 16 images omitted. Click here to view.
but i'm pure. none of the feminine cute boys are though :(
did those things when i was 10
aside from my messed up fantasies I'm pure, even talking about sex with another person makes me very uncomfortable
can u be my pure ebf
If someone says "boys kissing" I can only imagine muscular Chads with five o'clock shadows kissing each other.

File: IMG_3586.jpg (134 KB, 640x801)
134 KB
134 KB JPG
Why don't you just become an English teacher in East Asia?

>easy af to get, literally just be a native speaker
>good pay, can live comfortably and enjoy yourself with your free time
>can date students
>Asian qts see it as a noble job, only other jealous westerners see it as a loser job

Your post is about 10 years too late. Now it's a shitty job that attracts only losers.
I'm going to need some evidence anon.
That's what I'm doing now. I enjoy it quite a bit.

>can date students
Haha, no.
Literally have a chad friend who's a teacher in Korea now

Also talked to this qt Korean girl who went out with her English teacher
because im a sexual deviant and would have to fap between each class to keep from bending a different girl over her desk everyday
if its an asian girl, the slightest things will turn me on. just seeing a bare bit of knee would have me spaghetting in front of the class while trying to hide my boner

File: shaving.jpg (626 KB, 2716x1810)
626 KB
626 KB JPG
How do you shave? I think I'm doing it wrong. I always get razor burn and I cut myself all over.
32 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
if you want a really close shave, shave with the grain, then afterwards shave against, but go even slower when shaving against
I'm only 20, so I haven't been doing it long, but after a couple of years practice I can get a pretty smooth shave with no cuts or soreness after.

I don't even use foam or a proper razor either, when I started I was too embarrassed to ask for one so I just used my mother's disposable leg shaving razors. I think they're actually quite good because they're designed for soft female skin and so don't do any damage unless you have no experience at all like I did at the time.

Just wet your face with hot water, shave it slowly and methodically and then splash freezing cold water on.

Never used aftershave, apparently it hurts and also dries out your skin.
File: 04-22-2012-face.gif (9 KB, 160x200)
9 KB
This picture might help
1. Shaving cream.
2. Exchange the blade fairly often.
3. B-Be gentle >.<
Your face must look like shit

File: Aiko.png (164 KB, 450x750)
164 KB
164 KB PNG
Hey, you! Yes, you, sweet robot. I love you! Please don't ever bring about harm to yourself. It would devastate me! Take care of yourseIf, I plead to you - you deserve better than the status quo, truly!
6 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view.
it's rather cold now so my perspiration rate is at its lowest i assure you
>Nobody said to any of us here, ever

Yeah thanks anon.
i say it to you, now
Now, I wanna kill myself more badly. This would make a good present to my parents, since they don't need to worry about me anymore if I'm ded.
File: 1512636411999.jpg (377 KB, 2048x1428)
377 KB
377 KB JPG
This fake shit only drags me further down because it reminds me nobody outside of family would say this and mean it to me.

File: 1512552159527.png (195 KB, 500x500)
195 KB
195 KB PNG
I still have insomnia. H-hey this isn't funny anymore..please help me. I'm about to kill myself.
Hey, it's alright man. There's gotta be some sort of value for you to keep going. If possible go to a doctor or get some sort of medical help for it. Best of luck.
OTC Melatonin. Get it at your local pharmacy.
Upload yourself. See you in the Wired

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 275x183)
6 KB
Write a letter to whomever.

Dear A:

I miss you and can't wait to bake with you and other A when I get back to NY. Love you girly!

Your friend,

84 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: 1484385711238.jpg (29 KB, 960x719)
29 KB
I'm so sad and lonely. I wish we talked like we used to.
Dear OP,
You're a fucking normie leave my board.
I just sent this.

>ironically mfw
You know me better than anyone and you know all I deserve in life is a knife in the neck and a slow death bleeding out like a pig squealing.
then why did you block me?

File: 1513162799349835828369.jpg (1.56 MB, 4032x1960)
1.56 MB
1.56 MB JPG
I just wish I could cuddle up next to my girlfriend. The problem is I'm the same as everyone else here. I have no girlfriend
You'll eventually stop having the desire to have a human connection and all the related feelings and emotions that come with that essentially you'll cure yourself of the human condition.

File: 1493663070390.png (319 KB, 577x555)
319 KB
319 KB PNG
I accidentally got another white boi pregnant again.
>Tfw used to be a fetish of mine.

why has orbiting become the number one pass time for robots?
79 replies and 29 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: 5Kg7Y04.jpg (65 KB, 431x450)
65 KB
keep telling yourself that it doesnt make it any less true
Get that degenerate slag away from me.
File: 1510978459239.png (342 KB, 434x429)
342 KB
342 KB PNG
this fag has the right idea
Roll pls qt waifu
U wanna fuck shit??

Would you rather be the one on the left or the one on the right?
22 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
No he's not, of every poor person were like him we wouldve gotten a radically different president.
That's the dream anon, more likely I would end up hideous and unwanted though.
For maybe 5 years before age kicks in. Trannys don't age well.
better get on hrt now then

how old are you and how tall?
Trannies sicken me deeply.

File: 1511396625333.png (372 KB, 984x723)
372 KB
372 KB PNG
>a college girl next to me just said kek unironically
Dark times we live in
File: killme.jpg (511 KB, 2000x2000)
511 KB
511 KB JPG
Well, time pack up now. It was fun while it lasted. Net neutrality is over anyway.
ask her what a kek is

File: Desert Landscape.jpg (223 KB, 1024x768)
223 KB
223 KB JPG
my rfid chip has been leaked

someone flashed a really clever virus now instead of being tracked at mall entrance doors i get stuck in some function's while loop
File: Payne.jpg (38 KB, 422x422)
38 KB
A textual patent dumps a raising trace.

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.