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File: Kick_a8404c_5712392.jpg (40 KB, 380x380)
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Hey /adv/

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years and everything has been going great up until now.

Normally my gf looks at my phone but i don't really look at hers because normally i don't give a shit what's on there, lately she's been really secretive about her phone though and hiding it from me and changing passwords and stuff.

So yesterday I went on her phone and found out she was talking to her ex bf. He put "you're hair looks so beautiful honey". I didn't have chance to read the rest because she grabbed it off me. I asked her about it and she said he was only complimented her. I later found out she deleted all her messages to him and refuses to let me have a look.

So a few hours pass and I was about to leave her because she was obviously cheating on me (she wouldn't admit it).

She basically told me when she was with him they had a kid but they lost it before it was born and they always talk about what she would have been like and stuff.

I was hurt she kept it from me but if that's the case there wouldn't be anything left to hide on her ohine yet she still refused to let me see.

I told her I was about to leave and she started crying saying she loves me and she's not cheating.

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>>18250814
Two years together with you and she is still up this guys ass and can't move on? Find someone that is not attached to another guy. You are also right she could have been honest with you and shared her grief instead of constant conversation with him crying about what if.
>>
>>18250814

You are doing the right thing in walking away

If she has these secrets for you, it just means she has more secrets, and she is just making up a sob story to convince you to stay until SHE decides to end the relationship

Break up, move out, it's the logical choice
>>
Like the above poster said, sounds weird someone would start a new relationship and be with a person for 2 years while still having feelings for the ex
I'd say confront her about this exact fact and if she gives a shit excuse, leave

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I have been dating my SO for 3 years. After 3 dates he got down on one knee and told me he would marry me on the spot if he had a ring.I am 26 and have always wanted to settle down or find "the one" so this was very romantic for me.

Things were great for about 6 months. We immediately moved in together and became financially co-dependant. Since then things have been slowly declining. We have sex maybe once a month, sometimes up to 6 months without any sexual contact.

Basically, he has come to hate me for my interest in politics and, really anything outside of video games exclusively. I realized that the only thing we really had in common was games, nothing about our personalities or life goals or anything. He has since retracted wanting to marry me and keeps demanding I get more money from working part time through my PhD programme or finish the doctorate before thinking about anything serious. That would be a bit more okay if he hadn't started the 3rd date like he did.

Anyway, I started getting involved in some stuff online and ended up being able to be in communication with another internet personality who I really liked. I got the chance to meet this person recently and am feeling more infatuated and emotional than I have in almost 3 years. My stupid emotions are screaming at me to abandon my long-term relationship for the purpose of working toward a chance of being with this person and trying that instead all while my logic is telling me to give up and accept that my life is too set-in-stone to be altered.

Part of my issue is my current partner despises my politics and views on everything. We never stop arguing. I have also, truly, not felt so infatuated with a person since I was a teenager. I feel like a 16 year old girl again and it's an insane feeling. Still, I have to consider finances and the living situation.
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>>18249974
You're a moron if you're thinking about staying with this dude because you've been with him for three years. Seriously, move the fuck on already. That's the logical decision. You're just being a pussy.
>>
>moving in with guy that proposes on the 3. date

you are so stupid it hurts my brain
>>
>>18250127
Hmm, you may be right about the ego. I don't really know. I am without question infatuated and I know enough to know that's never a good place to make decisions from.

Things have been falling apart with my bf for so long, all we do is yell at each other. The problem is the co-dependants.

You are very right about reflecting on my life though. I have felt like I'm stuck in a rut for almost 2 years now regarding my plans for the future. I met this person with absolutely zero intention of anything romantic happening, I had suppressed admitting I had any feelings, I suppose, but in that way it was a wake-up call to my own unhappiness in my current situation.
>>
To me it seems like breaking up would be the best option. Could never imagine myself keeping a relationship with an intolerant person on the left, not sure how you put up with it. Also seems like this person might have contempt for your views (and therefore you) which is a toxic situation for you to be in.
>>
>>18250154

I'd put money on this one.

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Trying out a new kind of thread, significantly different from the /soc/, or other tinder-centric threads. There may have been threads similar to this in the past, but this advice is platform agnostic. Gonna give this a few trial runs and maybe it can catch a good cadence if the feedback is positive.

I do get that there's a blur between /adv/ and /soc/ with respect to this topic, but here we're looking for a little more than just picking the right images for getting laid.

Here, we offer advice, coming from both males and females, on ways in which we can improve our online persona so that we increase our value to the opposite sex and attract the people we want to have in our lives. There are people who get paid to do this, so who knows, you might strike up a career path if your advice is good. Let's try this.

>Possible advice on
Biographical paragraphs and related ilk, image selection and simple photography tips, links to good advice, do's and don'ts of first messages, how to master the algorithms, formatting and content improvments for the OP

>Possible discussion about
Timelyness, ex: profile creation date vs first date with s/o. Online dating platforms, one vs another. Subscription models - worth it? Age evaluation - does it get better?

>Feedback
Try to leave whether you're male or female in your replies, ratings for images and bios (x/10) should be discouraged for actual qualitative not quantitative feedback, anonimity should be respected as well, blue board rules apply, be descriptive on what areas you need help on


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>>18250583
swiss advice is best advice

thank you for your involvement, I'll shoot you an email later this week
>>
After mostly being single most of my life and losing my virginity at 22 (I'm 23 now). I decided to get off my ass and do something about myself. Started hitting the gym, new haircut etc. Decided to give Tinder another shot and work on my chatting game. Thing is, out of the blue I have a date coming up with one girl and another girl wants to 'watch movies and chill'.
The first girl seems nice, we have a rapport and she has hinted at sex a couple of times so I'm not exactly sure about how to approach this date. (We're meeting for drinks)
The second girl I do not have much of a rapport with at all, if she had not just given me her number without me even asking for it I wouldn't have realised she was interested. She doesn't put any effort into talking and then says she wants to chill. I assume that means sex, never done this whole casual hookup thing so..wat do?
>>
(adding to above) I've only had sex a couple of times, by the way.
>>
>>18250471
I've been using tinder but all it's good for is practice talking to girls. They're all crap, and I would never date one. Unless you're into sluts or party girls you're better off getting some experience talking to people and approaching girls irl.
>>
>talk to girl for like the last 3 days
>she responds well, asking questions back etc
>changes bio to something about pizza
>all right, tell her we should grab some pizza
>"are you asking me on a pizzadate haha?"
>"yes"
>no response
>next day ask if she was looking for a fwb instead of dating
>""what made you think I was looking for a fwb?"

What now? Is she just playing around leading people on on tinder or is this some kind of shit test.

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Just went on a date (maybe?) thru Okcupid. We walked, had a coffee, and then walked her back to her car.
She had her arms folded nearly the whole time but wasn't exactly making conversation directed towards or about me.
How do I know if I've failed?
Message her normally and try asking her out to dinner?
>>
having your arms folded the entire time isn't really a good sign OP
>>
Arms crossed only matters sometimes. She could have been cold. You really need to look out for what direction her feet were pointing and eye contact.
>>
>>18250811
Having your arms folded the entire time means im so fucking bored and pissed at you
dont even try calling her back

t.grill
>>
>>18250835
Kinda weird she'd be immediately bored and pissed desu
Sounds like she was a cunt
>>
>>18250846
whoops
what I meant by that is shes probably disappointed at her date

lets make this a thing
just say the thing your most insecure about and then lets give each other advice
im insecure about my intelligence, drawing ability and body image
now are you man enough to talk about your own insecurities?
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>>18250196
Hey if its any consolation most of you people are better off than 90% of the world right now. Being in a most likely first world country with a university degree and a job is half the battle.
>>
im insecure about something emotional which makes me scared to show emotions? something in that line
>>
>>18250582
Lol as a girl starting her mid 20s, no decent young woman would settle for a 30 something. By then men are way into their decline. High value women settle down with high value men. Best to settle in your prime for both men and women, which is your early to mid 20s, late 20s at the latest.
>>
>>18250691

Haha, you are so fucking naive. See you in 8 years when you are looking for daddy. Most men are waiting longer and longer to settle down, just wait until your biological clock starts to ding. By the way, you are clearly not high value.
>>
My Intelligence

Body Image

My social awkwardness and lack of social skills

My lack of independence

My shit personality

I thought this girl liked me and she wanted to hang out before.

I asked her if she want to hang out tomorrow and she says "she's broke" and I have to wait until payday.

Wtf. I thought we got along?
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>>18250792
No its not you aren't asking to marry her. Stop all the passisive shit and trying to friend someone into something. Hang out = friend Date = it could be more but lets see
>>
>>18250806
>>18250810

What's weird is she asked me to go walk see flowers with after work a few weeks ago.

I really had to go home but I politely refused.

Maybe she is just plain ignorant and doesn't realise she's sending the wrong messages?

But she also asks me specific questions like "do you have a GF"?

Maybe I was too socially awkward the last couple weeks and she changed her mind?

Who knows


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>>18250823
Ah fuck that, plenty of fish in the sea.
Distract yourself by finding new potential interests or hanging out with friends
>>
Y'all niggas complain about being lonely, but you'll fucking crucify someone for having a life before you come into it, goddamn.
>>
>>18250844
What are you talking about? Are you defending OP's grill? It was a shit excuse, that's all. Nobody here knows OP nor the grill, people just take things as they go.

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Where can I find and date a nerdy chick?
Are they in the wild? Do they use dating sites?
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>>18250513

Bump again.

Dammit /adv/, I just want to find the love of my life
>>
>>18250578

Either:

>>>/soc/

>>>/int/73953135
>>
>>18250587

Thank you, but I'd like to find one in real life. Any recommendations on where to look?

Again, thank you. I genuinely appreciate your response.
>>
>>18250822
libraries, book shops, cool hipster coffee places, etc
>>
>>18250587
no please anywhere but /soc/ and /r9k/, thats a trailer trash hangout
the only good thing on there is mtbi threads and laughs

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How do people live with the fact that there are countless horrible acts taking place in the world right now? Is it because they have managed to not feel empathy for people they don't know? Is it because they are not aware of them or are in denial of them?
I'm talking about stuff like how somewhere in the world, right now, someone is raping someone, torturing someone, torturing an animal, etc. just because they can. How can people go on with their every day lives not thinking about this? Do they just pretend it's not true or have they built a shield in their mind to not feel anything for people they don't know and pretend it's okay?

I'm aware that accepting you can't save the world is part of it but I still don't get how people are not worried about the horrors of the world. I know that my way of thinking is probably childish or stupid so how do I fix my mind and be like everyone else in this matter?
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>>18250813
If you're truly interested in that sort of thing, rally up people and start your own volunteering/citizen gathering/political association
>>
(>>18250813)
I want to add that while I felt good about volunteering I still felt cheated on because I felt that it was useless since the root of the problems are not being fixed by the governments and the people who actually have the money and power to fix things but don't want to. I know that this is relative though.
>>
>>18250821
Then start your own political movement or join politics to try to make the world a better place
>>
>>18250821
The best thing that a responsible person can do is start a good family and raise their own children (perhaps adopt) into upstanding and productive individuals. The purpose of life in our society is to pass on our values to our young. Some of them get fucked up along the way and do weird things that hurt other people. You can't let that stop you. Press on. The negative stuff will be there whether you dwell on it or not.
>>
>>18250845
This is true.

Thanks for the good advice, anons!

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greetings /adv/
I have Asperger's, and my entire life I have had difficulty talking to people and having emotional connections, specifically with females. Everyone else seems so vapid and unfocused. I have tried waiting for the right person but it has not worked out very well.
I have begun creating an imaginary significant other/companion/friend in my mind. Drugs help with this.
However, I do not want to end up in an insane asylum.
What is your advice for gaining social-emotional competence?
pic unrelated
>>
I have aspergers and have this problem to. I generally don't make connections unless i've known them a long time. Met my gf 16 years ago in Primary school. Good luck OP i couldn't offer advice but i hope i helped somehow.

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I want to talk, about love, specifically, why I will probably never find love, and its not for the reason you think.
>23
>6ft 1
>Caucasian
>Irish (Women get wet from the accent alone)
>In really good shape ( Train hard 4-5 times a week)
>Not awkward in the slightest, always the extroverted one on dates
>Dress Well
>Educated
>Diverse interests
>Good face/ pale eyes
So as you can see I tick a lot of the boxes that women find attractive. This isn't a story about how I can't get girls, I hook up with girls every night out with my friends, get dates on tinder very easily and have had at least 10 serious orbiting girls who wanted me (one in particular who had an unhealthy obsession years ago).
Seems like things are pretty good for me right?
Not quite. I will probably never find love, not because I can't get women, but because I get unbelievably claustrophobic when I'm with a girl and things start becoming more serious. Any hint of a relationship and I panic and bail.
Every. Fucking. Time.

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>>18250745
well, then i don't know why you are so afraid of intimacy myself. maybe you just enjoy your freedom? that's not bad thing. might be that you suddenly change your mindset if you're a bit older and find someone that suits you. no need to try and make something happen that's not suposed to be right now.

one thing that might be an issue is that you try to not have a flaw. i have similar tendencies. selfimprovement and awarenes are extremely important, sure. but it might lead to you keeping people at arms length because you fear that they can see behind your carefully constructed mask. i know i need a lot of time to myself to recover from being with people, although i am very social and everybody would say i'm an extrovert. i suspect that's because it is exhausting to always have my guard up. and the thought of being with someone all the time is draining because that would mean you have to have your guard up 24/7.
basically, you only show people the sides of you you are proud of and will do a lot to hide the things you are insecure about (for me, that's the fear of being lazy, so i can NOT have someone in my apartment if it is not spotless).

i'd definitely say that it's a good approach to not bend yourself over backwards at the beginning of a relationship and instead stay authentic. it will save you a lot of troubles since it leads to great issues if you act like you are ok with spending every night together when in fact you aren't. if someone can't tolerate that then it's better for both to move on instead of trying to make something work on terms that are not going to hold up for very long.
>>
>>18250765
Yeah your point about having a shield is definitely true, I have to always have this air of confidence and stay relaxed. I'm pretty good at it now though after years of practice so its more or less natural for me to be that way now.

I don't have fears of them discovering anything too bad, if we got a bit into the relationship I would share any of the things I'm insecure about.

It could just be a maturity thing, I hope I'll grow out of it sooner or later

Anyone else suffering from the same problem?
>>
>>18250795
i know what you mean. i don't do it consciously either. but i noticed that i get very uneasy of i have no alone moment in a day (which happens quiet a bit if you live with someone and both have a day off...). so i started to try and find out why i got so tende and the answer i came up with is what i just told you. i do it completely automatical. but it is still very draining on an unconscious level. note that this is with the person i am with since quiet some time. i never have the feeling that i'm not "myself" around them. but i guess i am still putting on an act in a slight way.
might be that it is something else in your case, but give it a thought.

it's also not necessarily about sharing insecurities. for me, it takes discilpine to propperly communicate since it doesnmt come naturally to me. it is something i have to kick myself in the ass to do. if i am alone, there is no need to talk about something unpleasant. but if i am with my partner, it might be that we have to talk about our finances, our sex life, what to buy grandma for christmas, whatever. it is a constantly moving setting and you can not only take your own needs into consideration. for example, if your hungry you need to determine if the other person is hungry too and what they would like to eat. then you need tp negotiate and fond a compromise between the two levels of hungry and momentary cravings instead of just fixing yourself a pbj toast, eat it infront of the pc like the slob you are and be done with it. ofc you CAN still do this but not all the time. i think that's the kind of things that make relationships require energy. do we watch a movie or go to bed early and have sex? do we go to xyz's birthday today or do we cancel and spend a lazy sunday? do we brunch or eat breakfast and cook lunch together later? do we invite mary and gerard to our wedding or not? should we stay in this apartment or move to one that will allow us to save 100$? everything needs to be discussed.
>>
>>18250584
>>Irish (Women get wet from the accent alone)
can not stop laughing
>>
>>18250716
He finds it very easy to get along with people at the beginning. Very charming, very interesting, funny, extroverted. But he finds it extremely hard to keep a relationship with nearly anyone. Both because he's not available emotionally (very closed off, shielded, doesn't let anything or anyone touch him) and because he's very easy to bore.
He's very blunt and has a total no-bullshit attitude.
He hates to be responsible for others, mostly - for their feelings, for their entertainment, for their well-being. He never had a romantic relationship because he always felt like he needed to compromise to be with someone.

I think that a big part of why we got together to begin with was that we are each other's best friend. We like the same shit, we have the same sense of humour, we banter.
Another thing is that we better each other. He learnt to let me in and let me take care of him emotionally, and accepted that sometimes he needs to take care of me and love me.
We're both fiercely independent and I have my own stuff going on. I don't need him to be happy, but he's the cherry on top of my life. It is the same for him.
I can handle his honesty, if sometimes he tells me to fuck off I don't get mad, if sometimes he tells me he doesn't want to talk it's okay.
So, huh - he partially got over it, yes. He stopped being as closed off and we talk about stuff now. But a big part is that I am fine with who he is, and I love him for who he is.
We don't have a traditional girlfriend/boyfriend lovey dovey relationship, but we work well together.

Shit this is a long post. Heh. I'm sorry.

I'm transitioning to a woman. I've waited until I'm almost 29 for financial reasons and as I waited to escape a rough home situation that was already abusive. Unfortunately that's left me with the pictured bald spot up top.

I'm on a budget, but still have the money to pick up the occasional wig as long as it doesn't cost more than $100.

What are my options? Should I go to a retail store or buy online?
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>>18249754

The amount of people with this degree of mental illness is slim, sir. To suggest one of us is projecting, nay. No, my approach is a logical one: placing myself in this balding anon's shoes, I can only imagine memories that make every fiber of me cringe. This reality, the side he sees greener, will only ever exist in his head. To us, well we will only see a balding pig with splattered on lipstick won't we? Not a woman, never a woman.

So tell me, sir, why he should not kill himself, that thousands more may not need to suffer witnessing a pitiful existance.
>>
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>>18248652
>>
>>18249114
>be mentally ill loser with no desire to improve self
>fall for the Jew-promoted meme of castration, sold as a 'change of gender' to gullible losers with no pride or reason to live
>expect anyone to take you seriously
I'd tell you to kill yourself - but statistically speaking, you're almost certainly already considering it
>>
>>18248540
Shit OP, hope you're still here, I have a wig that I bought for fun and never once wore it. Tried it on and it didn't suit me.
It's nothing special, I bought it for going out on the weekends but the roots on the ombre were way darker than I expected.
Got a throwaway email? It'll be something to get you started out, it's only a $40 lacefront but I'll end up keeping it in the box and eventually end up giving it away anyway. I'd rather give it to someone who legitimately needs/is looking for one.
>>
Kill yourself you disgusting tranny piece of shit.

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I need help. My dad is kicking me out of the house on Friday and I don't know why. Every time I ask he ignores me. I don't have any savings or transportation, just my PC and some clothes. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. He's got a shotgun under his bed in case of intruders, so worst comes to worst I'm just going to use that on myself in the back yard, but I really don't want to do that. Has anyone dealt with this situation before? Can anyone help?

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I have clinical depression
I'm going to drop out of college and use what's left of my loans ($7k) on a fun car
Plshelp
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>>18250790
you dumb fuck, don't do that.
>>
>>18250797
>>18250803
really dont need this
>>
>>18250790
Are you getting exercise? Are you taking vitamins? How is your vitamin D intake? I used to be "depressed", then I started working out, eating better, and taking vitamins and this other suppliment called "sunny mood" that has lots of good stuff in it. Finish your degree or you'll be in an even more depressing situation working at a grocery store.

Then again some people have to fall on their face to learn how to walk. As long as you never give up you have nothing to be ashamed of. Don't take life too seriously man. Good luck to you.
>>
>>18250819
Yes
im actually depressed
this shit doesnt help me
nothing does
>>
>>18250815
yes you do. and you need someone to spank you very hard and shake your brain back to reality.

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How do you convince your brain that it isn't in love with a fictional character?
>>
As far a your brain's concerned, EVERYONE except you is a fictional character.
>>
>>18250756
thats what fucks me on a daily basis
>>
>>18250731
Tell it to quit being a fucking weeb.
>>
By being in a relationship with a real person. Not trolling here, it's really probably the best way forward if you can pull it off.

My girlfriend of 3 years saw this on my PC today when I forgot to lock the screen and told me shes breaking up. Wasn't she unreasonable? We had a great relationship so far, it's just porn.
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>>18250670
this. if you had a dog and know someone watches dog torture for fun, would you not mind, even if it was just a cartoon? yeah, thought so.
>>
>>18250652
Brainlet normalfags and their opinions on paraphiliae, never gets old. They don't even have arguments to offer. Just look at >>18250621.
>>
>>18250677
>>18250683

Are you people insane ?

OR you didn't do anything wrong. It's for the best because you don't want a girl who freaks put over this shit
>>
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Trying to trick yourself into thinking loli isn't in any way pedophilic
>>
>>18250572
>>18250605
>>18250621
>>18250628
>>18250670
>>18250677
>>18250746
Pedofag here. Loli isn't pedo, it's just weird.



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