Ever since I was born I thought something was wrong in me, I was never happy, not a single day. I would remember playing with the other kids in kindergarten and them playing but I would just stay there, not moving at all, no motivation to interact with others or play. It's a hard feeling to explain. Now I'm 20 and it's the same, every day I wake up and think to myself what's the point of it all, I never did hurt myself or anything, I sometimes think about it but don't see the point, but during the day the only thing I look forward to is eating, I just wait for the day to end. It got worse since I finished high school and didn't go to college, I lost contact with others. I try, I promise I try, people especially my family tells me to do something when I'm bored, like reading a book to lift me up, but when I try I give up at like 3 minutes because I start to think what's the point if I'm going to die some day. Why is no one else like me? I HATE that, I hate how others seem to enjoy life while I'm trapped in this pattern of negative thoughts. I always been a very off person, like I don't have emotions. Why did I even exist in the first place? My family would be much happier probably if they didn't have me and just my sister. Of course if you read this you will try to convince me that I'm wrong, that there is more to life but there is just something in my brain, or my body or whatever that is not right and no matter how hard I try to do things and find hobbies it seems it goes nowhere. Will I ever be happy? I don't want to kill myself this young, I'm going to start college next year and my family will miss me, it's so damn hard to explain the feeling I feel every day, but I suffer a lot and no one understand that feeling. I hate myself and my existence. Feel free to make more questions.
No ones gonna come to save u, neither times gonna change you, nor some supernatural grace will change from night to day. Life's an invitation to love, an invitation to live it, u dont wait for it, you just live it, and its worth the pain. Everyday that invitation will be presented to you as a gift, as long as u have love in ur soul or just the desire to change, to live (which in itself is a response to the One who loved us first) u will be in full capacity to reedem yourself and live ur life. U have seen it partially in the movies, the man who starts his life at 26, at 30, at 40, the man who starts living again, the arc of life, age, time is irrelevant.But life is far more misterious, terrifying, and overwhelmingly beautiful than it is depicted in movies, because to truly live is an act of love and response to our Father who is in heaven.Im 24 years old and I took the decision to not live it, trying to grab the train again but I dont feel so invited as I felt when I was 12, or 14, or even 18. It feels lik
https://youtu.be/BV0WiwodyQQ
When I was in 8th grade, I had a huge crush on a girl who turned out to be a gigantic bitch. I asked her to dance with me at a school dance and she rejected me rather harshly. Back then I was unpopular and massively socially awkward. I hated being alive, but she mesmerized me with her personality and beauty. I guess I had failed to see her less fortunate qualities. I was such a dumb kid.Anyway, after being rejected by her, the most beautiful and popular girl in the school and her best friend, also a beauty and quite popular, asked me if I wanted to dance with them. Heartbroken, I politely declined, but I forever after loved the both of them for the kindness they showed me in one of my darkest moments. We never really hung out afterwards, because I had my own group and friends and was generally very busy with them, but I saw the most beautiful one a year later at my new school. She was in tears and told me she was pregnant, then wandered off before I could collect my wits and respond. Her boyfriend had gotten her pregnant.I felt very bad for her.I saw her later at a grocery store. At least I think it was her. She seemed ok, but was with people so I avoided bothering her.I found out decades later that she had died just a few years after that. I never knew.I never got to say goodbye or thank her for being there for me and apologize for being such a socially awkward kid that I didn't have the nerve to say anything I really wanted to say.So here goes. I hope she can see this from Heaven.Magon...I'm sorry for my failures. I am grateful to have known you. You were the best person I ever knew. I will always love you for the kindness you showed me. If you can see me, please forgive me for my failings and mistakes. You were the best, most decent woman I ever knew.
>>35050736Tell him in a well written letter.
>>35050835It wouldnt matter. Showing my vulnerability to him has always been detrimental. I wish i knew how to help him want to change. I think the damage has been done, we've both hurt eachother and it's time to just coparent. I feel relieved in a way he's not (hopefully) disappearing from our lives completely. I worry me leaving is going to cause him to do something regrettable but these are his choices. He's almost 40 and I'm not making him do anything.
probably not right for this thread but she flaked again today so now it’s done as far as I’m concerned
>>35050126I met a girl and it was love at first site. We were both madly in love with each other. It was a long distance relationship but not too far.It ended because we saw each other so rarely and it was always so sad. All I had to do was get my fucking license, so dumb.She was so kind and beautiful, and I know it sounds shallow but I never slept with her despite getting the chance because I was such an idiot and I regret it. It's not just that I missed out on that experience with her, I missed out on the opportunity while all my friends were doing it and it made me self conscious for years, not to mention I missed the chance to do it for the first time with someone I was crazy about.It really hurts now because I was such a creepy loser when we broke up and there's no chance of reconnecting. It's been 14 years and I still think about her. It doesn't help she's still single and beautiful and kind. I want to message her so bad but that's just the retarded loser inside of me.I think back then I was severely autistic and I've gained just enough self awareness to realize everything that happens and be tortured by it now. It hurts so bad, still. It feels like that was my last chance for a normal life.
>>35050995it's not on you, man. trying to start anything long distance is incredibly difficult. but it still crushes you all the same when it falls apart.
An old friend of mine from highschool was accused, tried, and convicted of a crime he never actually commited.Essentially he got nailed for statutory rape. It never even happened. The mother of his 14 year year old girlfriend (my friend was 18) just didn't like my friend because my friend was fat. Her daughter was an emotionally manipulative and abusive slut. So, naturally, my friend got nailed anyway, basically because nobody likes fat guys. Later, probably in part due to his statutory rape record, when zome asshole borrowed his computer and downloaded a bunch of child porn, my friend got blamed.Even worse, the court had his computer destroyed, which destroyed the very evidence that would have exonerated him. Apparently being born a fat guy is a crime and nobody had any interest in him being provably innocent.They just wanted their witch hunt. He went to jail because of it all.Anyway...I feel bad for him and I'm aware of his situation, although I can't prove his innocence, I know him better than he even knows himself, so I know beyond any doubt that he got railroaded basically for being a fat guy.This is just the sick world we live in.My question is...How can I be of help to him?What would you do if a good friend or relative of yours had been fucked over by genetics and, as a result, fucked over by rhe world?How would you help them?Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
is it gay if you fuck a girl with another guy if you don’t do anything with the guy?
I think everyday about the same girl. I daydream about imaginary conversations with her. I ruminate a lot on our past conversations. She is obviously doesn’t give a flying fuck about me but 2 years ago she cared about me. But in the end of all this mess she told me she doesn’t trust me. And it hurts to see how today’s day looks. Today i saw her, with a friend of her and of course i became anxious, angry, jealous and upset at the same time. Then i went home and feelt an endless restlessness.I always feel this way whenever i pass across her. I saw on a window how she hung out with other people and it ruined my mood so badly that i wanted to throw tomatoes on them. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I hate her but it also hurts so much.
>>35041964I had a dream where I went to sleep in my dream, then I started dreaming in that dream.Then my dream self started lucid dreaming in that dream.My dream self woke up from excitement, but then managed to get back to sleep and lucid dream again.It was exactly like a normal lucid dream, except I didn't know it was inside another dream.So did I lucid dream or not?
Should I go to a bar to socialize even if the scene doesn't really appeal to me? I don't drink much, but there's not much else to do around here other than hike with groups at times that I'm unavailable.
>uni1 males dont talk to me>ai get degrees type of uni>tas are shit>uni2 males treat me like a human>actually nice women too>tas are helpful even if they dont want to help they dont complain about doing their jobuni2 is the right choice right? I have opportunities and paid education if i stay at uni1 but 2 has made me feel like an actual person where at uni1 its like the men can't stand I'm there but its not like theyre smarter than me to garner that hate and I havent been able to establish a single study group. Would you suck it up and struggle? Or pay out pocket for the support and peace?
>cry when I yawn>cry when I poop>can't cry during somber moments like a death in the family or a bad break upWhat is wrong with me? Am I not getting enough water or something?
>>35049481There are emotional tears, and then there are mechanical tears. One is to communicate emotion and is thinner and watery (it has a higher salt content), and the other is to lubricate and moisterize the eyes. Nothing wrong with you; not everyone conveys emotions through crying.
Boyfriend has decided to join the military after telling me he wasn't going to. I'm 2 years into 6 years of school it'll take to get a degree for a job that will likely require me to stay in the same place for life. He's wanted to get married basically since we started dating, I told him wait until I graduate. But now I feel like it's impossible for us to both have the careers we want and live in the same place together. I can't move every 3-4 years. Do I have to end things with him?
>>35038858no you don't have to end it, but that will give you both real closure.
>>35049683>reee people who served are bad patriots>I, who hates my countrymen, society, traditions, history, etc am the REAL patriot, because I love the globalist banking order and the things they tell me are good, like mass immigrationYou are a brain-raped cuckold
>>35049949Like hell I am. Anyone born before 2000 should know better than to carry water for Israel by serving in the US military.
>>35049652Are both of you just completely deaf and ignorant of what the other is saying and doing?
>>35050180I thought this was solid communication?
I trooned out a few years ago but I'm only on estrogen, I haven't worn womens clothing in that time though I used to do it when I was younger but I can't even fit my feet into womens shoes now lmaoanyways I saw a few pics of trans women and they were with women or FTMs and it was just so obvious who was trans and who wasn't. ik that if you troon after puberty it basically depends on luck and I don't think I got lucky, I'm way too tall and I don't want to stand out in crowds or anythingrn I am just coping with estrogen and I want to get facial feminization surgery in the next few years but I don't think I can just undergo social transition, I don't want to embarrass myself. I just think that once I get it nothing will change apart from feeling a little less shit about myself but let's me honest, my bones are pretty masculine now so there's no hope of looking like an average womanat the same time I feel like there's nothing I can do apart from this, if I attempted to do anything more I would fail. I would also like to have a more feminine voice and just keep doing what I do right now (live online never mentioning my gender) and maybe larp as a trap or something loooooool. I know it's so 2014 coded but yeah I can't see myself doing anything elseat the same time though I know that won't be enough, but won't people know I'm a troon if I will end up looking vaguely feminine and with a more feminine voice? is there a way to like maximize bodily femininity without people thinking you're a troon? maybe just like some weird effeminate gay guy, I think that would be bettersorry that this sounds like rambling, I was feeling sad today and I was thinking about this stuff. I don't really want to kill myself but I don't know how to do away with the constant sadness
>>35046265What makes you want to be a woman? Could you list some reasons? I might be able to relate and offer something.
you're retarded and realizing it
>>35046265Only way to "cope" with it is to realise and come to terms with how retarded and pointless it is. You have to stop caring about stupid shit, let go and move on with your life. Try to find logic to your dysphoria in your brain, just keep asking yourself why to every rationalisation you come up with until you get to the point where you can't come up with any new answers, then you will be free
Hip opening yoga poses
>>35046923>You have no solid basis for anything you sayYou have a Y chromosome in every cell in your body. You will never be a woman socially, medically, technically, even in passing. You are multidimensionally and forever a MAN. Sex drives our very existence and has existed for billions of years. How much more solid do you want to get? Saying you can change your gender is pure delusion, it's fantasy, it can't happen. It's a mental illness and you need treatment to stop it, not encourage it, same as if you wanted to get surgeries to cut your hands off or gouge your eyes out.
When I was in high school, I was in love with my best friend. She was aware on some level that I had feelings for her, but established pretty clearly that she wasn't interested in dating anyone during high school. I was fine with that, because I still got to spend time with her, make her laugh, have honest talks etc. I've always had some level of anxiety when it comes to physical intimacy anyway (some combination of autism and growing up in a religious environment), so not taking things any further suited me fine at the time. We were still able to express fun, healthy platonic love for one another. She genuinely thought I was funny and interesting, and she got along well with my family; my mother later said she was certain I was going to marry this girl someday.Of course, that didn't happen. Not too long after she graduated (she was a year ahead of me), she met some other guy who was able to make her laugh. Someone who was, frankly, more handsome and mentally healthy than me. Since I was still in my senior year of high school while she was out meeting new people, it meant she had plenty of time to cultivate a relationship with this new guy. They were dating within a couple months, engaged within a couple years, and married not long after.That was over a decade ago, and since I moved across the country, I haven't seen or even really interacted with her since. I don't think about her every single day, but the times when I do remember her (especially when she shows up in a dream), I get depressed in ways nothing else can inflict. (1/2)
>>35050084I think my inability to let go of her is subconsciously fucking me over. I haven't really earnestly sought a relationship with anyone else, which is certainly in part because the last time I loved someone, it ended with her immediately going for some other guy she hardly knew once she had the chance. After all, if I was best friends with her for all of high school, and she still didn't see me as a worthy partner, then who the fuck ever could?I'm frankly sick of it. I don't even think I really want a committed relationship, just the sexual and emotional validation that I've never been able to experience before. But there's a part of my mind that still, for whatever irrational reason, believes that some day, this woman will leave The Cooler Daniel and realize that it was me all along. I know that's not going to happen. I know I just need to move on. But I don't know how. I struggle with social anxiety and misanthropy as it is, so any efforts to meet new people haven't really panned out.I think what really rang alarm bells for me in my head was the intrusive thought/daydream of a scenario where I find out that she died. In this daydream, I would smile, laugh, and proclaim "I'm free!" I want to be free. I want to kill off the emotional hold this woman who probably barely thinks about me anymore still maintains on me.tl;dr I'm in my 30s and my inability to get over my high school crush is stunting my emotional maturity(2/2)
>>35050084>>35050087Bait larp
I watched a Ted talk that genuinely shifted my perception on these sorts of situations and I'd like to link it and share my thoughts:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhMWatch this first and come back to this post.Based on your two posts, I think your best possible course of action is to go out and find just friends again first and foremost and hopefully some women who can be your friend as well. The thing about this is that you1) Have potentially someone that could be interested in you and that you'd be interested in2) Have a woman in your life who has other women as friends that you can meet as wellI was in this boat for a long time up until earlier this year where this happened. Now the person who I was head over heels for, I actually confessed to and she's not interested in dating either but we are still good friends and I have since then learned how to set boundaries in that relationship so that I don't start feeling that way again and more importantly so that I don't fulfill that need subconsciously and end up sad again. Not to mention that someone who I would consider my oneitis from long ago is someone that I don't even think about anymore. I moved on because I separated what my needs were from that specific person.I hope this is of some value to you assuming you're still monitoring your own thread.
>>35050084Your problem is that you're still afraid of it, you need to get full on obsessed to get it out of your system.
i coudnt cope with being a wagie anymore so i decided to become a thug. i bought 100 grams of weed from the dark web, but how the fuck do i find clients and sell this shit on the streets? any anons with exp in this?
>>35050372I have no idea because i’ve never sold weed but this song might be able to help you. It is full of highly useful drug selling tips and tricks https://youtu.be/ZYb_8MM1tGQ
>>35050707Damn OP broke commandments 1-3 in just the first post
>>35050707fuck, actually nice song! yeah, i follow those rules, but there are some exception, you need to have a person or 2 that you can trust for example. but this doenst help fiding clients
>>35050683Why would the police care about a low level drug dealer?
>>35050903Because going for low hanging fruit is easy?
What is /htgwg/?How to Get Women General is by anons, for anons, about the modern dating landscape. So bring all of your questions about dating here. Some anons on this site actually get partners and laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date people, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.>What is /htgwg/ not?These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, femlcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, pinkpillers or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating people is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htdg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!>How to ask for adviceContext is important: be more specific than "I got ghosted, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, someone was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with them? How long have you known them? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.>Resources and Bookshttps://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach)https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGGComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>35050915Nah ugly fat women ain't worth it bro, unless for a quick slam that's it. Plus ugly fat women treat dudes like shit and go after chads anyways, looks will always matter, clav will always be right. It's hard to be attracted or date someone that you literally don't find attractive, why should I lower my standards if my dick won't get hard for such a person?
>>35050915Not those anons, but how do you tell if a woman is in your league? Is the solution just to hit on women that you don't really find that attractive?
>>35050867>It's not like I have insane filtersIt's not your filters, it's theirs, but also Bumble just seems kinda dead in some locations these days
>>35050988>ugly fat womenMy point is that there are more than just "ugly fat women" and "acceptably attractive women" in the world.Anons like you seem like you suffer from All-Or-Nothing thinking, which is a cognitive distortion.
>>35050997>Not those anons, but how do you tell if a woman is in your league?Leagues don't exist. Cultures exist and it's more difficult to date someone from a culture other than one you are apart of. Otherwise it doesn't really matter. It's primarily about what the individual woman perceives as desireable.>Is the solution just to hit on women that you don't really find that attractive?No. When it comes to that, Dethklok was right: Listen to your dick.The solution is to look at actual women around you. Real life human beings. Not images through a screen. Real women have flaws. Accept reality. Dating is hard enough without adding arbitrary limitations on who you date. If a woman turns down a guy because he's an inch too short it's no different than a guy turning down a girl because she's got a flaw. Maybe you'll meet the most perfect woman in the world and she's got a lazy eye or a missing foot. Be open to new experiences. If a woman does nothing for you, don't pursue her.If no woman besides the most gorgeous top 5% do anything for you, you'll have to change something about yourself.
This November to coincide with No Nut November, I had decided to try and make improvements in my life or fix what I think is really detracting from me living well. I am seeking advice on maybe how to go about in a way that isn't full all or nothing. I have a very all or nothing mindset and I think that makes me fall off the horse easily when trying to improve. So a take like "Welp, I failed, might as well fully give up." So here is what I need help with.>1. Quitting pornoI am trying to lay off the porn usage. I did some introspection and found that the main reason I even watch porn is because of boredom AND lack of intimacy I guess. So I think I could fix my boredom but the lack of intimacy would be a lot harder. I just hate using porn because I feel like it drains me. I use it at least once every day. >2. SleepI have a terrible habit of sleep revenging myself. I basically can't stand to go to bed on time because I feel like I didn't do anything besides work and go to the gym some days. This leads me to having miserable days at work because I am tired in the mornings. I stay up maybe 2 hours later than I should be. >3. Maintaining friendshipsI have a hard time with this. I have issues with going out to events so I rarely see some friends. I also feel I am trash at planning and just hate to be the one to initiate much of anything. However, I do care a lot about my friends. >4. Keeping a clean living spaceI have a bit habit of just letting my living space become a pig pen. I try to keep it clean but what stops me is "I never have guests anyway. So why keep it clean?" I want to get over that and keep an actual clean living space so that maybe I will WANT to actually have a friend over. Or even a woman over. Anyway help with any of these would greatly help my goal. The overarching goal is just general improve my life so that I actually don't feel like dogshit every day.
>I have a very all or nothing mindset and I think that makes me fall off the horse easily when trying to improve.Very common in people with depression or perfectionistic tendencies (who eventually become depressed). Being aware of it is a improvement, but I can't offer any meaningful insight because I'm just like you.>>1. Quitting pornoAs you said yourself, the main drivers that propel people towards escapism and addiction are emotions, negative emotions. As for porn, the boredom + loneliness combo is very common. I did quit porn because, ironically enough, I got bored of it. Also, I started to feel really sad and pathetic while watching it. But, my tip to you would be: avoid the "quitting" mentality. Instead, aim for a "I don't really need it" mentality. All the guys who watch porn, feel bad about it, then try to quit and fail miserably they have a thing in common, they make a BIG deal out of it. Watching YouTube videos about the "NoFap timeline", reading Reddit posts, making 4chan threads(like (you)), downloading apps, etc. This kind of behavior make it seems like they're preparing for a grueling task, the task of "quitting", as if they're giving up something that's essential for their survival and it's a big part of who they are, but it's not. Like that famous book about how to quit smoking says, you have to tell yourself that you're not losing anything from quitting, you're just REGAINING your health and mental clarity. So, instead of obsessively focus on "quitting" (which is a conceptual trap since the brain doesn't really understand negatives), fill your day-to-day life with tasks that make you less prone to reach for porn(=escape, numbness, distraction, avoidance from bad feelings).I typed too much. I'm sorry. I'm not even a native speaker.
>>35050249>>35050157The literature on the importance of sleep is basically endless at this point and I think it should be your main priority right now. Among other things, getting good quality sleep consistently improves our moods and willpower(which has been proven to be limited). With a well rested mind, you'll be more resilient towards adversity in your daily life. By neglecting sleep and spending the day tired and lethargic, you'll be much more inclined to devolve into the very same behaviors you said you want to avoid like consuming porn and making your living space a mess, which basically means you'll get trapped in a cyclical behavioral pattern of self-sabotage: poor sleep=low willpower+bad mood - > bad day - > bad decisions(porn/making a mess). Pay attention to those cyclical patterns. They happen a lot to a lot of people, but most don't notice at all and they basically become their life. So, get proper sleep. Pick a reasonable schedule and follow it. Start today! Don't let the sneaky "evil" voice in your head convince you otherwise.
>>35050249>>35050292As for the friends problem, I'm sorry, I don't have anything useful to say. I don't have any friends myself and it really is depressing. Hope you figure it out though.
>>35050157how do you stop resenting other people? I have zero desire for friends.
>>35050249Thanks for the advice. I actually couldn't even tell you weren't a native speaker. I am actually learning Spanish so I know how it is to try and communicate something that might be complex in another language. I appreciate it.
I’m a junior CS major (cognitive science minor) with a 3.2 GPA with no resume, no projects, no experience / internships, basically nothing. I wasted my first two years being lazy, and now need to relearn the fundamentals I should already know. Realizing that the best time to start is now, not wanting to be unemployed postgrad, and actually wanting to have a better life, I want to actually start building towards getting internships / experience and eventually employment. I'm also planning to do my master's program at my uni, but I know I am definitely not getting in with what I have now, so also trying to build towards that. Still unsure atm for regarding that though. I know that CS is clowned on for being the declining major and the "ai is going to take over", but I choose to believe that I can still get a comfortable and stable job hopefully after grad (god please let it happen). Honestly, I just need to hear advice for what to do resume wise, or just in general / motivation / success stories / any really useful resources. I know that my life isn't over just because of this, but I have lots of regrets and I'm still scared for my future. Starting now I really don't wanna live the life that I currently have. My current plans are to just vibecode up some 3 solid projects (i have the chatgpt $20 plan for free until december cause of student plan, thinking of getting claude sub if chatgpt isn't good enough) and make sure to understand them and how they work. After that, planning to fix my resume with these projects (for now) and spam apply to internships. While that's being done, I'm going to have to use a fundamental CS course and then go on to do DSA, OOP, comp arch, and leetcode as fast as I can for interviews. And hopefully by the end of my junior year I will have an internship and a better understanding of the fundamentals and what I should have been learning.
>>35050909No one can make you passionate and hard working.I didn't go to school when I was a lazy 19 year old, instead I went off and lived on my own for a bit then worked my ass off to become a great programmer because I knew what it was like to work manual labor.I don't know how to speedrun this. Maybe try working a single shift at the factory? Larp as a homeless for a day?I know I'm probably not very helpful as my success started at an earlier point than you, but at least I can tell you that you can make it even if you have a late start.
>>35050960yeah true, i didn't make this post wanting people to make me passionate and hard working, just moreso advice and maybe some motivation. for the most part though, i'll just have to discipline myself into working hard unless i wanna be jobless and then eventually homeless.
Do not vibecode any fucking projects are you retarded? You will be filtered out hard and blacklisted for the companies that care. Actually do a decent project for the skills needed at the company you want to work for, gear it towards the one that recruit on your campus first. You'll be fine if you have a couple under your belt by the end of junior year but a lot of the companies now aren't looking for the next airetardcoder like you, they want you well rounded, leadership,community service. Anyone can create a project, thats your job as a student, but what else do you bring to the table? How do you approach problems? Do you even have professors that can realistically vouch for you?Lock in and get your fundamentals down otherwise you are wasting your time.
(English is not my first lenguage, so that's the reason if í write something wrong or it has no sense, sorry:( ) Anyways, i have been feeling really weird this last two weeks, like, i didn't even noticed anything bad on me, but a friend told me i was acting strange, and since then I tried to find what was wrong with me, i found out i was acting like really stupid, talking about things whit ni sense, trying to talk about something that i didn't understand at all like i knew everything or just talking whit ni sense (just like my english, lmao). But after this i didn't know what was the problem, like, i was doing great after that, but I slowly realized where this all started. In a short way, I'm feeling lonely, in a long way, I'm trying really hard to feel happy around the people that I apreciate, but I don't feel like they feel the same, my friends looked for other friends instead of staying whit me a lot of times, I told my boyfriend about this and he was caring and told me to search for him if I feel like this again, but clearly he isn't a god to be instantly here for me, but I'm still feeling frustraded about that, and now I can't stop feeling like people that is care about don't give a fuck about me, but I really don't want to feel this way, like, if they don't want to look for me, then fuck them, but it becomes harder every time this repeats, like, it's starting to affect my own body, I have a headache since morning and my eyes and lips feels like I had many flys bites(I didn't remember how to say that UnU). So I'm all ears if you have and advice of how to have a little bit of emotional freedom, or just not falling into depression. And thank you if you are really going to help me, everywhere I searched said I should tell someone about my situation, but is hard when the problem is feeling lonely, anyways, thanks again!
Preface: I am not making this thread to boost my ego or to get anyone’s approval, and I know I’m an asshole in advance, but any advice could be appreciated:I’m not sure how to start this off, so I guess I’ll share a little bit about myself and what I’ve been doing. I’m currently a 29yo male, and I’ve been called handsome throughout my life. Ever since I’ve hit my mid twenties, I’ve been going through a vicious cycle of meeting women, dating women, having my fun, and ending the relationship when I’ve gotten bored. And this includes hook-ups/relationships with women way older than me (cougars).At my core, I don’t really enjoy it, because I what really value is connection, true intimacy, and not hurting people/women. I’ve been recently seeing a woman who is literally wife material. She was young, and a virgin when I met her. She brought me food, made me gifts, and essentially treated me like a king. But I screwed it up. Multiple times I cheated, and she found out. I even tried to hook up with her cousin. We’re still friends, but I’m not sure if I should fix the relationship, and stick with her, or just keep my options open and not settle down. I feel like I am slowly ruining my pair bonding abilities, and leaving a trail of broken hearts. But I can’t seem to stop. Every time I delete the dating apps, I find myself reinstalling them and repeating this vicious cycle. Am I addicted? Should I seek professional help? Should I just take this life I’ve been given, not settle down, and be a bachelor? Thanks anons
>>35050314Not true. Avoidant are capable and seek true love but have been harmed by being vulnerable and someone who is not true love hurt them. So they are distrustful, but if they are vulnerable with who truly loves them then they will find everything is better and they will heal.
>>35050314Also Op is not avoidant. They sound like a garbage cheating narc. Someone an avoidant should avoid
>>35049555Since we're playing label games I'll give you my advice as a Sigma, not the fake autistic incel shit but as an antisocial handsome man who had your opportunities but chose against them because I don't feel like others are human. You need to drop the label, your problem is you outsourced your identity to the opinions of other people. It does not matter if you had basked in positive opinions it is still having who you are defined by the whims and emotive judgements of other people, you mentally become their bitch. What this means for you is that you develop a crutch, a comfort blanket, a mental pocket of safety to run to when life gets stressful and for you that pacifier your mind sucks on is sex, female validation, romance. The strength you possess is also your greatest failure. You have the sex appeal but the twist is that you are a sex addict, the same energy that drew people in is also the same force that will push others away. And while others might envy you or admire you they don't know that to only be regarded as valuable for skin deep reasons it means your whole life you don't even know yourself behind that skin, all everyone sees is just a body. My advice is you that you should detach from your identity, stop labelling yourself as Chad, stop outsourcing your value to others even if they value you greatly it's still a mental cage only it glitters gold it's still a cage. Start asking yourself who even are you without the face? Find that void and jump into it and see for yourself
just find a hoe that don't care on some bonnie and clyde shitit feels bad to do bad to good people, and it's dangerous too. just play in the mud if you're going to play in the mud
>>35050548Thank you>>35050603This helped a lot. Thank you
