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>last/mark day of “quadmester”
>dont get a chance to have a long talk with teacher crush
>driving back home, suddenly think its a good idea to give her a gift
>buy a $100 worth of donuts and slap on a greeting card saying shes sweet and hardworking and thanks for inspiring the class, generic i guess
>drive back to school, meet some random nigga with jaundiced eyes and offer him $10 to hand deliver it to her in class
>as we’re walking to the class, he asks for my name and i just think hes just being friendly so i tell him
>we get to the class but some literal balding bugman s0ibeard teacher is there to witness us before he enters the classroom
>my guy goes by the class entrance and asks for the crush teachers name
>after i see him move forward, i take that as my cue to bail outside down stairwell nearby, sprint across parking lot to my car then drive off
>afraid to go back to school now
i just wanted her to feel appreciation. now im afraid she knows its only me because my courier probably told her my name or the baldcuck mentioned the color of my jacket.
what do i do

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Dating in your 30s is fucking hell
You have 3 choices:
>Young women
They ignore you
>Older attractive women
They have children
>Older women without children
They're hideously ugly
Get a wife if you're young
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
choice 4: get ripped and confident and be a daddy type

choice 5: get rich
>>
>>31097554
>>31097593
and after you do those, get used to saying "thank you" instead of "sorry" and once in a while make casual eye contact with women, and men (respect).
>>
>>31097596
you would have to be rich enough to also be powerful for that alone to work, the biggest lie ever told is that women value money more than your confidence and how well put together you are.

>>31097596
the muscles one is probably legit though, you can at minimum foster intense attraction
>>
>>31097593
>Shower at minimum once a day, twice is better.
kek, who taught you this retarded crap? do you live on the equator?
>>
>>31097602
No, I just noticed having excellent hygiene is attractive. You need to look and smell good, preferably at all times.

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You think you are a loser?

>be me, 25
>never had a job, can't find one.
>never had friends, weird kid in HS. bullied.
>live with parents
>jerk off daily since I was 13
>tried university, failed. can't study. no motivation.
>no skills. totally useless.
>chronically depressed, can't genuinely smile anymore.
>ugly, crooked nose and chin, gummy smile, pale.
>dumb, low iq, adhd.
>low energy, lazy
>compulsive daydreamer
>paralysing anxiety at the smallest action that would perhaps improve my situation.

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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>>31097234
going to agree with >>31097451
not sure how old you are but it hit me this year that time is not going to stop moving. complacency is the silent killer of fulfillment.
I recently started taking more risks, putting myself in uncomfortable situations voluntarily, and I haven't regretted any of it. even if there are unforeseen consequences/challenges I think that's the price of living a fulfilled life.
wish someone would have told me this when I was younger and who the fuck knows where I'd be.
>>
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>>31091778
Ukraine aid bill passed.
I mean I was a realist, congressional gridlock would never last forever, but sad to see that it came to an end.
Russian summer offensive is unlikely to achieve too much now.
Anyway the fight against the globohomo goes on regardless.
Death to ZOG.
>>
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>>31097574
Not to mention crapload of artillery shells are scheduled to arrive early summer.
Sad state of affairs.
>>
>>31097568
>>31097451
28

been a bit of a disappointment for the parents overall like the average 4chin user but i do understand i need to take those steps eventually, and better to do it now instead of procrastinating.

Granted with risks you gotta be calculated to not do something completely retarded.
>>
>>31097427
The amazing thing is that some people think diversity hires aren't a thing. Like, im sure companies end up with dozens of lesbians and trannies naturally so they can have pride parades.

Then there are studies about diversity school acceptance. With equal grades a black person has a far better chance to getting accepted than their white counterpart. You have people like jj Abrams saying there are too many white people in the room like it's a bad thing. Sure, just hire some black female writers so they can turn all the characters into their self inserts like in that new star wars series.

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Should I go back to school for a second bachelor's? I was thinking accounting. I did my first Bachelor's in English and graduated Spring 21. I've just worked a retail job and currently in a receptionist job for 1.5 years. I live in NY with my mom and I've been trying to get some admin assistant job or entry level hr job for like a year now. I've gotten a few interviews but I just never got anywhere. Would going back to school for accounting be a good idea? Plus I don't really have irl friends so maybe I can meet people easier. Idk. I'm 25 years old btw.
5 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>31096649
Absolutely blessed to have a woman just like pic-rel in my life, she inspired me to become the type of man she deserves and I'll treasure her always.

Also accounting is stale, but super lucrative and stable. Definitely worth getting a degree in it.
>>
bump
>>
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>>31096649
>tfw no sweet-mommy gf
>>
Why not get a masters instead?
>>
>>31096649
>a second bachelor's?
No. Go straight to professional qualifications.
Don't go back for another degree.
Something like American Accounting Association (or other recognised association) courses.
They will have a syllabus which takes you from beginner to degree / expert level, and which is designed for post graduates who're already in the workforce. i.e. you can do them part time.

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How do I convince myself that it's okay for me to interact with people despite being socially inept?

I have ruined my social development due to overreacting to ostracization by isolating myself for a decade. Anytime someone even hints at making fun of me or criticizing me I hide in a room for a couple months. I am a 25 year old black male.

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Why wasn't I able to find anyone to hang out with growing up? When I was a kid/teenager, every day after school, I'd go outside and walk/bike around looking for other kids/teenagers to play/hang out with. But I never found any. By my mid-teens, I was extremely lonely and depressed and reached out to family/school authority figures for help, but they did nothing or didn't take me seriously.

I've completely missed out on life and become an lonely adult who's constantly in pain and can't feel any emotions anymore through no fault of my own simply because my folks thought it was a good idea to live in a boring shithole where nobody does anything. Since I couldn't find anyone to hang out with, my entire childhood and teen years consisted of TV, video games, and internet. My only source of social interaction outside of school/work has been online message boards, games, and chatrooms. I've made efforts to change this as an adult, but no luck.

What am I doing wrong? I'm a very extroverted person, but I lack opportunities to put it to use.
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>31097372
>I'd go outside and walk/bike around looking for other kids/teenagers to play/hang out with. But I never found any
I mean. Sounds like you didn't have any neighbor kids. Did you go to college? Did you ever invite classmates or coworkers to hang out? You haven't really mentioned rejection, more lack of opportunity or initiative.
>>
>>31097372
>But I never found any
How did you go about trying to integrate yourself? Or did you just not talk to anybody?
>>
>>31097372
There were no kids in your neighborhood? Zero?

It's honestly not that bad, anon. Sure you missed out on friendships, but you also didn't get bullied or sexually assaulted. Look at the silver lining.
>>
>>31097372
very common experience
>>
Yeah I had a similar issue, I used to have lots of friends all the time because I was tall and athletic, but by family moved a lot and eventually I just thought it was boring and I ignored people in high school. I just preferred to read to exercise. It took all my energy so I was never feeling loneliness.
In college I started to feel lonely though. I realized halfway through that I fucked up by ignoring these people and that I did enjoy having friends and doing stuff in the past but it just seemed too late now. I never felt anxious about it before but now suddenly it was scary and I just couldn't do it. This caused me to become angry and go into my studies and passions even more.
It also turned me into a chronic masturbator too. If I was european I would spend my entire paycheck on prostitutes and not even bother with college because that sounds like a perfect life already.
After my master's I might go to europe.
That's my dream OP to fuck bitches for money in europe. So all I need is a fuck ton of money.

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Do you think people have certain fates in life? Or is it all on the person and their choices? I have a hard time understanding how things have turned out for myself.
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>>31096519
bump
>>
>>31095887
I got one interesting answer you might like, OP.
https://existentialcomics.com/comic/70
>>
>>31095892
hello, fellow stoic
>>
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>>31095887
I am 40.

I have no woman, I have no house, I have no friends, I have no money and live paycheck to paycheck. When will it be my turn to be on top bros? I'm tired of the grind, I'm tired of this life, just very very tired that's all.
>>
>>31096519
Yeah, but I've had shit luck. In just about every facet of my life and I hate looking at others lives and being confronted with the abnormal amount that I've had. I don't know why I've been so downtrodden and consumed with problems that no one else seems to have. But that comes down to me more than anything, and how I've tried but still didn't get any where but yearning for normalcy and healthiness that I don't have.

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>A funny thing occurred today. I passed by an attractive woman, and I simply thought "There is a woman.". I was not assaulted by my own attraction to her, or by my shame and frustration at my inability to find a mate, nor did I compare my physical strength, my wallet or my intellect to whatever I imagined her mate’s to be. It had finally occurred. I had become one of them, the sexless men. The thing that I had feared since boyhood, my body had adapted to my own inability to fulfill its needs. The stories that had haunted my youth, of the wizards of wizard-chan, and the permavirgins of 4chan, and foreveralones of reddit, I had taken my place amongst them. One story had always terrified me in particular, an Anon had befriended the "weird guy" in his workplace, a 40 something nerdy recluse. They got on good enough terms for personal discussions, and the older man revealed that, over the long, lonely decades he had simply "stopped" feeling attraction to women. It was no longer a part of his life. He did not even masturbate. Unwillingly, he had outdone the most devout Buddhist. He had killed the desire in his own heart.
>>
>>31097587
> Now I too, had met the same fate. I had been defeated: By other men, by women, by myself, by time, they had all gotten the better of me. All of the self improvement, all the thousands of hours spent carving my body into (if I say so myself, as a man who has spent far too much of his life exercising) stupendous shape, all of the career advancement, all of the hobbies I took up, all of the time spent trying to be personable, and social, and assertive while respecting boundaries but also take the hint but also don't be creepy but also know when you are supposed to make the first move but also don't be overbearing. All of it had led to nothing.
And yet, inside this crushing realization, was a perverse sense of peace. Something akin to a smidgen of what the Germans felt as Berlin fell, what the Iraqis felt as the AC-130s left the runway without them and the Taliban overtook them. It was over. I had lost, but at last, the struggle was over. This strong body I had made for myself through thousands of hours of overtraining and rigorous dieting, first to outdo other men and and attract a mate, and later simply to quiet the voices in my head, would never please a lover, or hold children in its arms, but at least it was over. This career I had won through study and hard work would never buy a ring for a smiling bride to be, or toys for children, but at least it was over. The home I had built would never echo with the sound of lovemaking or cries of an infant or the laughter of toddlers, but it was over.
Other men, I could make my peace with, no longer rivals. Women, I could wash my hands of, no longer did I have to make awkward intrusions into their world, unknowable to me. I would spend these remaining years in desireless, numb, apathy. But at least it was over, after all of these long years, it was over.

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Why does no career really jump out at me?
I think about being a physicist, or a coder, or an animator but none of them really jump out at me, and I tell myself it's just idealization. That the actual work is probably something I'd get bored of, but I want to do something, I want to create something.
10 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>31097141
If you know what you want to do creatively, or are naturally frugal:
The less you have to think on the job, the less you'll think about it in your time off. Better to get home with a tired body than with a tired mind.
Sometimes it's better to take a gap year, or not spend time on certificates (incl. uni) at all. Uni is 75%+ for networking, if you don't know what industry you're going for and don't have solid social skills yet, it's much better to do manual labor for a year and hone your social skills by going to bars or community centers or what have you.
Because uni tends to get you into debt. Avoid debt like the plague.
>>
>>31097267
Go into sales for a couple years and do some self studying to find out what you really want. I do outside sales, which is researching clients, 300 emails a day (a CRM with mail chimp handles this automatically) 100 phone calls a day (about 3 hours a day) and 3 or so in person meetings a week. I work probably 4 hours a day from home. Plenty of time to explore subjects.

>>31097218
Good advice too
>>
>>31097141
This. But my advice is to TRY it first. Sure you can't try be a Doctor beforehand. In most cases you need several years of study and experience until you reach a comfortable place in your career. But you could perhaps tell if you'd be good at organizing people's finances for instance, do some programming. Are you good with anything? are you smart with money? or are you perhaps more into manual stuff?

My advice is to play to your strengths so you can grow and retire early if needed.
>>
I should mention i'm only 22, so I still have some time ahead of me.
>>31097297
I was takinga gap year, but that's turned into like two years. Really I've determined that I won't go back to school unless I have a direct *focus.* I also want to brush up on my weakspots like math.
>>31097331
The phonecalls sound a little daunting lol, but I can't deny that being able to work from home is alluring. I'll consider it as a jumping off point.
>>31097356
I have no clue exactly what my strengths are, in fact I know more about my weaknesses than strengths kek
>>
>>31097205
What if the thing I hate the least is still enough to drive me insane?

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Some old ladies at church want me to date an ex-slut and drug addict who is now a "Born-Again Virgin". Apparently this means she got saved and has renounced being a slut and is now going to wait until marriage to have sex again, which makes her just as valid a partner as an actual virgin.

Does this seem extremely retarded and insulting to you? I'm about to stop going to church because of this. She's one of the old ladies' granddaughter.
6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
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>>31097322
I knew one of those "born again virgins" with scars from self-harm and tattoo removals, kek. Honestly it's respectable that she's trying to change her act, the issue is trying to pretend like she is on the same playing field as a virgin despite the damage. I would liken it to someone trying to sell you an old beat-up car as "new" because it has a new paint job. But all the parts are fuckin rusted. Yeah it is insulting. You don't know if this woman has slept with 100 dudes and contracted gonorrhea and herpes, has a kid out there she gave up for adoption, has had abortions, has a bunch of abusive exes hanging around. It's not cool. People value virginity for legitimate reasons.
>>
>>31097395
Relationships where the woman has more sexual experience never work because she has expectations the guy can't meet.
>>
>>31097395
Kek, hope this is b8. They're literally advertising her sexual history/status as a selling point, and there are plenty of reasons to care about it.
>>
>>31097322
So you have the upper hand.
Seems fun, anon.

Visit her home. It's clean? It's everything in place? Do yo smell weed?
Ask her for cooking a delicious meal for you.
Ask her to iron your clothes.
Can she even sew a fucking button?
Has a job? Can drive?

After a throughout test, tell her:
"Sorry 'virgin'. You are utterly a genetic discard."
>>
>>31097488
She isn't a car you're buying, she is a person. Your vagina doesn't change with sex, you are judging a woman(!) for her choices and experiences, through your own lens of sex negativity.

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If you want to break up with a long time girlfriend but her birthday is within the next 2 weeks, should you do it before or after?
10 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>31097501
It's just a fact. I'm not saying it's a nice thing to do I'm saying there are no rules or laws regarding whether or not you are allowed to break up with a partner for any reason, so we shouldn't delude ourselves and pretend there are.
>>
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>>31097017
Use this time to get over it and monkeybranch to another chick. That way you can dump her and immediately jump to the next one with no problems. Meanwhile she will be blindsided and devastated, and the fact that you immediately moved on will hurt her even more. She WILL cry about this to her friends, trust me. And it's even better if the new gf is someone she knows or feels insecure about. Does she have any friends she has expressed feelings of insecurity about? You should explore those options first.
>>
>>31097017
Before, that way she is free to fuck someone that actually gives 2 shots about her. And after that bay party, she's going to go out with girlfriends to help her take her mind off you, some gorgeous man is going to walk in n take her mind right off you.
>>
>>31097092
Nah, he needs to do it b4, so she can go out with her friends and find a hookup on her bday after the break up and forget his ass.
>>
>>31097571
I got dumped shortly before my birthday once. That was the last thing on my mind.

Has anyone ever dealt with a Narcissist in their family or intimate life? Holy fuck, everything makes sense now.
I just found about this shit, and it fits my recent ex to a T. Lying, cheating, her phone being off when she's not with me, and then getting angry when you find out.
Have you guys ever gotten abused like this, then made to think you're crazy?
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>>31089538
Narcissists love to accuse you of being a narcissist.
>>
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>>31096671
I can recommend just subscribing to a handful (for me it's some 7-8) speakers on narcissism and browsing their stuff.
If you're in a tight spot you need to be flexible, and most speakers on narcissism just aren't. So as the second best you take the good parts from several quite different speakers.
Not dumping my list. Compose your own by using the YT search engine, and hone your skill of recognizing a helpful speaker from mealy stuff not applicable to your personal situation while you're at it.
>>
Just realized >narc in this context means narcissist, not Narcotics Agent/Fed. Fuck me, I've clearly been spending too much time on the other boards...

>>31095640
>>31095870
First and foremost, all that tracks. It's genuinely a bummer you guys (or anyone really) had to deal with that shit. Psychological/emotional abuse is particularly shitty in that it's such a gradual thing. Like looking at any individual slight they're just so easy to write off. It was a bad day. They were in a rough spot. It wasn't THAT big of a thing. Truly emotional death by 1k cuts. And if you are codependent, which the victim in these dynamics generally is, you get to catch it both ways as doing the healthy stuff (standing up for yourself, cutting people out, letting people feel the consequences of their actions, etc.) often feels worse then the abuse.

The good news is this is 100% something a person can recover from. While slow (or at least slower then you like) and hard, I've never seen someone who truly wanted to not get past it.

Broad stroke advice:
1. Work some sort of therapy and/or counseling system. Codependents by nature don't put themselves first. Having these as back-stops ensure there's an external force pushing you to do that. You'll need that until you can train yourself to do it on your own. Plus, it's really important for recovery to get that validation. I'll never forget the day in ACoA&D where I told a story about an event with my mom and a guy who had been horribly abused his whole life looked me in the eyes and said "Wow man, that was super fucked up. You shouldn't have had to experience that."

2. Read Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie. Easily the two best books on recovery I've ever read. It's a road map out crafted as only a person who had to figure it out the hard way could make.

1/2
>>
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>>31097538
3. Be patient/kind with yourself. You will make mistakes. You will backside. You will have to work on this a long, long time. All of that is normal. Keeping in mind what you're doing (essentially rebuilding all of how you engage with others from the ground floor) is a huge task.
No one is perfect and that's ok. What matters is not getting discouraged and doing the best you can as you can. Change here is incremental, like compounding interest in a bank or reps at the gym.

Hopefully that helps. I can give more specifics if desired but I already feel like I'm wall-posting.

Good luck either way. You can do it.
2/2
>>
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>>31096671
>Please anons, femanons, and fuck it even the trannies.

This both gave me a chuckle AND warmed my heart.

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>>31095581
op here, zero
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>>31092824
You could do with a haircut and if your hair is frizzy/poofy or whatever , you can get a good quality (expensive ish) leave in conditioner you apply when your hair is wet after a shower and leave it in to air dry with hair. It will make you hair more manageable. You will want to maybe go to a more expensive/ artsy barber place they should have some good stuff and advice. Also (you may already do this, I can't tell by one photo lol) but maybe not wear too many or too much or too often too dark attire, because you kinda have dark look to you due to hair, eyes and skin tone and it can give a school shootery vibe and a "yea, I summon demons. What about it?" Vibe. So basically nice haircut and a good leave in conditioner and wear less dark clothes.
>>
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>>31092824
maybe wearing something brown to coplement your beautifull brown eyes?
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>>31094745
me too anon
>>
>>31092824
You're short.
Shoe lifts

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How do you have a conversation without interrogating the other person but not talking about yourself or your interests too much?
>>
>>31097518
Focus of enjoying the conversation rather than expecting something out of it, the rest comes naturally.
>>
>>31097518
I have no idea. I just try to strike a balance between the two.


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