How do I have better conviction?It always feels like I'm shamed into thinking everything I do is wrong and every thought driving my actions is misguided.Everytime someone questions me or asks me why I'm doing something a particular way, I immediately get flustered and feel like I'm doing something wrong or don't understand what I'm doing. I always immediately back down instead of explaining myself, and I really hate it because I know I'm not doing anything wrong and I have full confidence in what I'm doing until someone says something and I feel like I'm being interrogated. It doesn't help that a lot of the things I do are just intuitive and I don't really need to think about them as I'm doing them so when I actually have to explain myself I lack the ability to actually dissect what I was doing in that moment.Like, if a situation calls for me to do a process differently from normal and someone sees me and asks me why I'm doing step C before B, I can't find the words to explain my choice of action or judgement and I feel ashamed. Even though the situation called for me to do it in an unorthodox way and it felt like the natural, common sense thing to do I feel like my actions are being scrutinized. I really wish I could just defend myself when I haven't done anything wrong.I'm tired of acting like I have something to hide when all my actions and intentions are pure and true.
>>33946841watch some shonen animelike im not even joking
fuck man, it feels impossible to have any confidence when everything I say and do gets twisted and used against me. Everything said to me feels like an assumption meant to imply something and every question asked to me feels like probing just to get anything to incriminate me or catch me in some contradiction. I always think there must be something that prompted the person to make the question, even if it seems like harmless small talk. If I wanted to share some piece of information about me, wouldn't I just do it of my own accord?Everything I do comes with some expectation and I always have the wrong response to what the other person was looking for. My life is nothing but choices and actions made in response to someone else who feels inclined to ask for my thoughts but I know no matter what I say it'll be wrong. It's always "will you do this" never "what will you do" and I can never tell if I'm meant to go one way or the other. If I'm clearly meant to give the response they're looking for, I feel like I'm fake and it's still not satisfactory anyway. It all ends up in me answering for things the other person clearly wanted me to do, instead of letting me exist in a vacuum, unimpeded by unnecessary expectations and coercion guiding my actions.It just doesn't make sense to ask things made with an obvious implication or underlying purpose and we're just supposed to pretend that they want an earnest response and not to confirm some suspicion about something involving the other person. The very act of asking implies a concern that must be addressed, otherwise there would be no need to ask the question in the first place. And yet, it feels like 90% of human communication can be chocked up to this. It sucks too because I always try to word everything in the most neutral way possible, but interestingly, I'm meant with a defensive answer anyway. It just feels like them projecting, which confirms everything I just wrote.Am I just extremely neurotic?
I hope this helps
I might be the most autistic man on the planetI just messaged a guy on my floor to borrow a tire gauge and when I knocked on the door a dude opens it and says>"You're looking for Sam?"and I say yes and then he says>"Okay, I have the tire gauge in my car."By the end of it, I get his name to properly thank him because he filled my tires too after we saw that they were low and it was so awkward cuz I asked him>"so, are you Sam or did you just have his tire gauge?"and he says>"... I am Sam."Like bro WHY DID YOU REFER TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON EARLIER LIKE YOU WEREN'T HIMThe guy I messaged was named Sam on the app but like holy shit why do I think
>>33946841My cousin has a record of 12 arrests and no convictions. Maybe you need his lawyer
>always had bad response to outside stress both bad and good>tried to run away twice because of stress at home and school>whenever a girl would be nice to me I would always choke>bad choke to where I won't even hear what they're saying to me and ill say something weird>I realize I've had a lot of opportunities and I threw them away.>because it would mean change>when I did try to change like losing weight from 300+ lbs>i had a chronic tightness in my stomach which I now recognize as a stress sign.>I was given the responsibility of a car loan with work and I crumbled>now 29, started multiple different careers>did something to make others not like me>no degreeComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>33956401I got a tightness in my stomach from working out overweight, lots of push-ups, but I think it’s just from drilling my core which I wasn’t doing before. So I think it’s normal depending. The stray for me was just deal w it for a while, then one day stretch out and do deep diaphragmatic breathing towards that area. It went away. Might want to go to the doctor if it doesn’t though but it probably will
Any anons here run their own small business? Preferably as a sole-trader/operator? I need some advice.I'm 2 years into starting (perhaps foolishly) a one-man business where I do very specialized audio recording work for high-end classical and jazz musicians. It sounds creative but it's mostly very technical and the creative aspect only comes into play in know how musicians like to be heard.I've learn many lessons - all of them the hard way. My ongoing expenses are small but I'm not happy with how little work I'm doing and how low-quality a lot of my clients are.I'm facing that issue all new business face which is "how do I get clients" knowing full well that traditional marketing just doesn't work. I cold call/email a lot of folks and none of them are interested or are just broke.I also need *better* clients. I fixed this partially by just raising prices and vetting clients who show signs of being entitled headaches.Any stories? Advice? The supply of people who do what I do is low, but it's hard to find people who need my services.> inb4 post to /biz - in no way do I expect them to actually talk real business
>>33956810Here's my advice:- So, you want to provide a niche service for high-end customers? How many of these people exist? How much would they pay for your services? Do some market research on customers and your competition. - Work with as many people as possible, regardless of your feelings toward their talent and attitude. You need to build up professional relationships and a solid portfolio. People talk when they get results, and the music world is full of talkers. Everyone gets your business card, you post fliers where musicians are (guitar stores, music colleges, coffee shops, etc). If there's a bigger company in your market/area doing what you're doing, see if you can work for them to learn how they thrive. You might be able to subcontract their lesser clients, and eventually take their business when you work with the right people.- Expand your niche to find better niches. If you're not finding clients and you're not working at full capacity, you're doing something wrong. Record different types of music.- Consider your location. Big cities like NYC, Boston, Nashville, L.A., San Francisco will have people with money who would use your services. You need to be where musicians are, where your customer base is.- Imagine yourself working 40 hours a week (excluding the hours of business tasks like bookkeeping) at full capacity. How much would you make? How many clients are you working with? Is this a long-term relationship or just one-off projects? Do you charge hourly or by project? What is your typical fee? The answers to these questions will help guide you to better strategies.- Many small businesses fail because their ideas are too small. You have to think bigger and better. >t. small business owner
>>33956877Thanks for the help anon. I'll answer some of your "Questions" just as an exercise; I know you're not asking me directly.> How many high-end customers exist and what would they pay?I'm in the music capital of my low-ish population country. The music world is small. There's probably about 10-20 large, full-time orchestra that have "screw you" money as I call it. There's probably a dozen or so smaller groups that aren't rich but can afford a pricey album recording here and there. How much would they pay? Hard to say, but a few album is worth a few grand to these people.> working 40 hoursI never expect this to be something I'd do full-time, it doesn't make sense since recording is a day of work at best and then editing spread out across the week. The projects are all one-offs but there's a lot of pre-production and figuring creative details out. Typical fees were initially <$800 per show but that hasn't gone well at all. Currently the math is such that I'd have to charge at least $1k for the work to be lucrative, assuming less than 15 gigs a year (which is realistic).I have to politely disagree with "work with everyone regardless of how they make you feel." We've had some truly awful clients and it's never been worth it. Music clients want cheap but there are additional non-financial costs that they need to pay, and usually only the rich ones can afford those non-financial costs. These include things like just being a competent musician, having access to good venues, and working well under the pressure of being recorded.
>>33956810You want to be attractive to "high quality" customers. But what would make such customers want YOU? You have to find ways to make them aware of you. One road is to supplement your independent work with some for-hire jobs with known producers or recording companies, so their customers see you at work. You also might try donating your services to charity events, again to make yourself known to the high quality potential customers
I don't very many dates and I basically don't know what kind of woman I even want. How do you even go about figuring that out? Like to me, I think I'd want a woman who gets jealous easily because it would make me feel wanted. However, a friend told me "You don't know what you are asking for. You don't want a jealous woman." So in your opinion, how would you go about figuring out what kind of woman is your true preference? Another example, I "prefer" Mexican women how I don't know if that is my TRUE preference because I have never actually dated a Mexican woman and I don't know if that preference was put in my head by some weird media algorithm or what. I just know at a surface level, I like the qualities that one might generally associate with a Mexican woman. I honestly envy guys that have gotten to date many women because they have a very good idea of what they like and don't like. I have no idea effectively. Like what if I like Brazilian midget women? How the hell would I even know? Thats an extreme example but its the point I am trying to make.
I feel bad that nobody has replied to you in 4 hours.> How do you even go about figuring that out?Well, who wears the pants. One should be masculine/leader, and the other more of a follower.What kind of religion. How many kids. Saver or spender. What to do for fun, travel, etc.Do you guys stay fit or are you slobs. > I think I'd want a woman who gets jealous easily because that would make me feel wanted. I mean, you're not wrong. You want a woman who has high interest in you. My wife would "mate guard" by holding my elbow or putting her arm on me when we were at parties with other women around. I wouldn't call it jealousy, just competition. Kitty Kats Compete.> I have no idea effectively.Try this link >>33949408 for a 101 about LTRs. It should give you some ideas about what to look for.
>>33956178You want a woman that gives you the least amount of problems. So, you date and date until you find one that YOU truly want to keep seeing. Maybe she's got a fat ass you love burying your dick in, maybe she likes a lot of the same things as you (without you telling her this beforehand, it's a common mantrap), maybe she cooks amazing meals for you, maybe she listens to you or puts up with your goofy hobbies, etc.You pay attention to how the relationship changes as time passes and you listen to your gut instinct. I suggest putting these women through trials like an extended vacation - a trip longer than 8 hours will test your relationship as you work together or fight to get where you are going. If she reveals some ugly character trait like being a drunk, a nasty person to people she deems below her, or something that sticks with you longer than the moment, then you gotta weigh your options and cut her loose if it's a deal breaker. Make sure you set boundaries early.You don't want a jealous woman. She'll text and expect you to reply immediately. She'll cut you off from any women in your life that she thinks are a threat (your mother included). She'll try to cut out your time with your friends, she'll break things out of frustration, etc. etc. They are easy to get hyped up which can lead to sex (female control mechanism) but
You should go on more dates if you don't know what you want. The trick isn't to get attached to the idea of clinging out of fear of being alone in the end >>33956682Sounds good on paper
>>33956752>a trip longer than 8 hours will test your relationship as you work together or fight to get where you are going.Yep, based. You need a woman who keeps peace under pressure.
>>33956178You don't choose a type in advance. You meet a girl who attracts you and who is inexplicably willing to go out with you, and you see how it goes.
So basicaly im decent looking but when there Is the gigachad i some times get insecure about It.Should i use magic tò have AN aristocratic aura and make people look at me rather than them?
>>33957010>Should i use magic tò have AN aristocratic aura and make people look at me rather than them?Have you considered shartmaxxing?
ditto on shartmaxxing. it's worth looking into.
Thirding shartmaxxing. Get into it OP.
>>33957010Yes. Definitely. Rely on magic. And while you're at it, ask your witch doctor of an Instant Millionaire spell too
Save me! I will pray more often, but no one will hear my cry :( I need your salvation.... I need your help. I found myself in a situation like Lacey's.Do you know the game about a girl who is in danger?
>>33955788>Do I deserve to die?noooyou'll be okay <3don't be too hard on yourself
>>33955793is there anyone you can talk to? maybe go to a church nearby?
>>33955769Don't do hard drugs. Get job. Save and invest. Gastronomy. Explore and develop. Communicate.
>>33955769>>33955776Probably a LARP, but just in case:Lacey is from a horror ARG video game series where she goes through several horrifying life experiences that often result in her death, such as>getting stalked by an abusive ex and brutally assaulted and killed by said ex in her home.>trying to run a restaurant but goes insane from the stress of abuse at home and kills herself after closing for the night>killing her uncle(?) for being physically abusive toward her and keeping her in squalid house conditionsIf OP is experiencing anything remotely like this shit just call the fucking police.
>>33955769God hears you. You need to boss up and get out of those circumstances.
My Brazilian online friend is coming to the USA for 7 days to visit his grandma who lives here and I'm going to meet up with him since he'll be 2 hours away. The thing is he's poor as shit and can't afford flying back to USA for awhile, so I want to hang out for the full 7 days, but I don't know where to sleep so I don't have to drive back 4 hours round trip back and fourth everyday. Should I just camp in the woods during winter? I'd rather not pay a kike for an AIRBNB.
Can't you just sleep over at your friend's grandma's place?
>>33957179I could but my friend thinks I have no friends. So I was planning on camping somewhere and pretending I was with some friends in the area.
>>33957188that's stupid and lame. you're a dishonest evil selfish """friend"""
>>33957120For what will probably be a once-in-a-lifetime event you can't spring for a cheap motel?
>>33957120Are AIRBNBs listed by religion?
Self-transcendence is the one thing that keeps life interesting, yet I (NEETing) find it very difficult to maintain any kind of long-term project that would be challenging enough to create meaning, whether be it owing to the saturation of every field of art or just the social isolation.Have any of you found a way to keep challenging yourself and not falling into long depressive periods that far outrank periods of productivity? I don't mean "productivity" in the sense of being useful to society, just the internal feeling of doing something meaningful to yourself. It seems every project that I undertake falls to the wayside when a sort of medium-sized bump in the road presents itself, or maybe it's inherently unavoidable when you don't have any social contact to spur you on each day? Whether it's developing a game, writing prose, writing music, reading, eventually everything feels meaningless again.I know, this is really vague, but I think anyone who's possibly previously felt the same way and no longer does might be able to offer some basic advice, even if it really is just "get a job: having something to do each day helps tons."
>>33957528Looking for a longterm project? How about getting a job?
>>33957528You need some friends. As you've discovered, social isolation wrecks productivity. You need at least one person who would shoot the shit with you if you said hello
Is this doable?
>>33957125>$827.04 savings per month>doable I don't know man. At that rate, I'm not sure you'll manage to buy a Bugatti.
>>33957125People are going to tell you 9000 different things about finances. But I think as long as you are making ends meet and saving something I think you're doing fine.
>>33957125>rent is 2000, will probably rise every year>student loan is 700 per every fucking month till you dieDamn white minimum wage means nothing
>>33957125Use that savings to get car insurance for six months or a year at a time for more better cheapness.
>>33957125Fine as long as you nevereat outdrinksmokeget sickbuy clothesbuy anything elsego anywherepay taxesdo much of anything
I'm 18 and no longer have to post here because I just lost my virginity to a 19yo girl i met on Hinge and am no longer a shut in virgin. She's introducing me to her friend group on Saturday and we're all hanging out. Its happening bros. Any advice now that im a normie
>>33956507desu
>>33955659How about you fuck off
>>33956511heheyou can look up a list of the word filters, probablyit freaked me out the first time too
>>33956514lol thanks oldfag
>>33955659You’re 18 you didn’t need to post here anyway
If my dick doesn't curve, am I ngmi? If so, can I do something about it?
>>33956699i wouldn't worry about it, anonif you're with a girl and you really like each other and you're both horny, you'll figure it outyou can always ask her
>>33956699Brother that’s absolute bullshit. Having a hook for a duck would make it impossible to have sex at all. You’d never get your dick inside her to begin with.Having your dick bent slightly is a natural variation, but it’s not ideal. People whose dicks are bent at high angles need to see doctors because that usually means your dick is seriously injured or broken.Your dick is fine OP. Whoever told you hook dicks are ideal was trolling you.
>>33956690Your dick is fine. Every penis is different and has different strengths.
>>33957262The curve in the dick adds to effective girth. Effective girth being the distance between left and right most points of the peen x the top and bottom most points.Straight dick niggas can cry more.
>>33956690A normal penis curves twice, like the letter Z
Has anybody here successfully freed themselves from phone addiction? How did you do it? I need to drastically reduce my screentime by next year.>in b4 delete appsDoesn't work for me because my autistic ass will start scrolling thru pictures or the work safe internet. One idea I had was leaving my phone at home, but that has its obvious disadvantages.
>>33953193Leave it home. We got along fine without them for thousands of years.
>>33953193What problems are u facing with your phone, anon? Doom scrolling? Gooning to 4chan pron? Online gambling?
me too
>>33955447Basically I reflexively reach for my phone anytime I have a task that takes more than 5 seconds of effort.Today I locked my phone away in a cabinet first thing this morning. It worked at first, but by the end of the day I still ended up scrolling.
>>33953193Don’t have friends and don’t use social media
I have an ok life in and of itself. I have a decent paying job that's easy enough and I have a few acres in the woods. But I have this ex who went off and married some rich guy. I've kicked the habit of stalking their social media but I still think about all the stuff they do just non stop "Oh this week we're in NYC and going backstage at some concert and next week we're going to the arctic ocean and next week we're going to Germany" and just on and on and onSo I can't enjoy anything because any time I like something for one second I think about all the cool shit they do like every dayHow do I stop fixating on that?
>>33956716You have to love yourself enough to know what you can and realistically can't have. That same fixation you have on her, really is what you should redirect back into you, because at the end of the day, it isn't her those feelings are coming from, but a part of yourself. Start really accepting your reality, and realize how infinitely expansive it really is. She isn't the whole world, it's actually you.
I don't know but I'm pissed off I married a middle class guy and not someone like your ex's new boyfriend. My ass could have ten kids with three nannies for each, they would all go to private school and we could travel the world together. Can you ask the dude you're jealous of if I can be his side ho? Thanks. Oh and maybe you should kill yourself.
I married a guy that's broke and it turns out he's rich enough to afford a house in the boujee part of town. Maybe it wasn't about money and she just likes this guy more.
>>33956926>she thinks living in the bougie part of town means anythingYou won't get gangraped there but most public schools are still shittier than elite private schools, hope you like having dumb kids who grow up to be no name white collar cogs in the machine
>>33956716The only real way to win in this situation is to kill them
Did you suffer from erectile dysfunction due to smoking? I am in my 20s and whenever I smoke more than two ciggerates my dick doesnt get hard for sometime , atleast . Did this happen to you too?
>>33954394Smoked for 4 years ,3 months since quit ,rock hard every morning
not straight up ED but my dick was slightly less hard when i smoked
no>t smoked for 7 years and stopped half a year ago colt turkeymy dick doesnt work because of nerve entrapment but i actually jerked it and smoked while doing it when my spinal discs didnt yet pressd on the nervesbut im somewhat athletic so thats mb why it had no effect on me deck
>>33956680ok granted, i always self rolled tobacco and never smoked factory shit and always on the lookout for additives. maybe thats why it was super easy to stop smoking too. because tobacco/nicotine doesnt make you addicted, but the over 100-200 additives make it so?
>>33954394Stop smoking cigs, and practice relaxation with good, free diaphragmatic breathing. Your breathing exponentially improves when you stop smoking, by the way!
Has anyone tried Shartmaxing?>Wear white pants>Wipe your ass in them>Eat lots of fiber with no solids to build up mass in your shit, leading to diarrhea >Fart and shart consrantly and have a smear of poop in the back of your white pantsWill it lead to a gf?
That guy is zesty fag
Unironically I did carnivore diet for 3 weeks, and hardly ever had to shit, and only tiny marbles came out. It makes you realize how efficiently chad animal products are digested compare to fiber chuds.
Only true gigachads know the answer is yes.
That man's butt cheeks are defying gravity what the fuck is going on there
>>33956531That’s called a man. Commenting on mens looks is gay
