Fellow anons how do you cope with dissociation/derealization or emotive dissociation to be more specific?
>>34988576keep yourself busy. what works for me is doing something that causes strong emotions in me and brings me back to reality. things such as heavy exercise, listening to music or even cold showers. especially being more outdoors helps since you have so much to interact with. Bedrotting is the worst trigger by far
It seems like all of life's problems would be trivial to fix if only you could focus on them until they were, doesn't it. But no... you get sick, you get busy, you have a bad day at work, you get a low mood, you injure yourself, something bad happens to someone close to you, you go away, something else takes its place, you just lose steam and motivation to address it.Is there a fix to this problem or am I destined to tread water the rest of my life?
>>34982571you literally just proved the OP's point (which should be common sense but unfortunately toxic motivational shit is everywhere for no reason and, even more inexplicably, more strongly instilled in young people than any ideological brainwashing). If all you can say is " just don't care about it ", then it's not useful in any way. That's really what your suggestion comes down to. If you think of practical problems that have solutions, then of course OP or any other non-retarded adult would be able to think of it on their own. The problem is the meager and shitty return some people get for their monumental effort and pain. And even if you technically able to keep going, why would anyone do that in shitty adverse conditions?
>>34983827because it gets worse if you dont? maybe it w9nt be shitty forever?
>Is there a fix to this problem Ability to delegate
>>34982566>Is there a fix to this problem or am I destined to tread water the rest of my life?Something encouraging to realize is that problems are often complex and feel overwhelming, but solutions are often dead simple and feel obvious once you discover them.Keep looking for solutions and when you find them, you might be shocked how simple they are to implement.
>>34985522>Keep looking for solutions and when you find them, you might be shocked how simple they are to implement.I know... solutions to my problems are often very straightforward. What's not easy is implementing them, because nothing seems to stay in your mind for more than 3 days or so.
i look back on my life and realize it was all one big humiliation ritual. from parents, “friends”, authority figures, hatred is all i remember from everyone.if there was one good moment in my life id cling onto it, but i cant find it. i wish i was wrong but theres no other way to cut it.i know i will die alone for a fact.im not even that ugly. im a 5-6/10 at least, 6ft, got into school for engineering. its not enough.whats the point. all i ever do is be silent to not give people the reason to hate me theyre looking for. im treated like a nigger in the 60s.i was probably meant for the prison system, but i escaped from that and did what im supposed to. im tired of seeing pretty boys i mog in iq, career, bravery by having nothing to lose. they were born with it all and id be lucky statistically to get their leftovers.i wish i was smart enough to make it in those forums online, selling usernames and whatever else.how don’t people “go rogue” living like this. i was born to get fucked, lose and die.i don’t get it. i wasn’t meant for this world. i don’t like to whine but this is how it is.
>>34986389You play video games, read books, and engage in hobbies. You wait for technology to replace the real thing.
>>34986389>where do the excess men goHere
>>34986389you make money, chill. ecade taxes and denounce the talmudif you are white you can go to southeastasia from time to time, impregnate a dozen 18 year old filipinas and go back yo your chill cave
>>34988533this is the way
>>34988527all your friends are right here OP
I've known this guy since 4th grade. We were really close until after high school, when he moved away with his girlfriend. I'm a 29 year old autistic virgin, I've never had luck with any girls. Met an 18 year old through work and we just really clicked. She has a fuck buddy (age 27) and I confided with this friend and 2 mutual friends from work (32M and 29F) if I should pursue this or not. No one reacted with disgust, 32M even suggested I act on it. I knew it was a social taboo, but everything I Googled said "so long as you're both legal adults, it's no one else's business".We got to first base. She wanted to stay friends. I accepted it but felt shitty and struggling to move on. During this, my friend meets and talks with 32M. Apparently I'd never mentioned her age to him and he was disgusted by me even considering an 18 year old. He sent me a message an hour ago about how disappointed he was and left a group chat we were in.I sent a single long apology back: saying I didn't mean to keep the age gap a secret, why I did what I did (no one I confided in said otherwise) and I’m truly sorry and that if he needs space or doesn't want to associate at all, I understand. I feel so fucking shitty I don;t know what to do.
>>34981658>He stopped associating with another one of his friends because they changed from perma-virgin to able to have one night stands and fuck buddiesAnon you friend does not care about "power dynamics" or protecting anyone, he's a faggot who can't get women and jealously hates anyone who can.
>>34972570I'm 29 currently dating a 19 year old that took my virginity. We've gone out on dates in public before and hold hands and stuff and no one has stared or made comments yet. Either I look younger for my age or no one really gives a shit IRL like they do online.
>>34972570
Semi related, the guy from Oneyplays is getting cancelled for dating a 16 year old when he was 23. Legal where they live, but maybe don't tell anyone about this as public opinion seems to be again it.
This is distinctly a *him* issue and not only do you barely know this guy, he should keep his opinions to himself and fuck off It's legal, she's 18, but beyond that you met her at work it's not like you waited in a white van outside the high school or stalked her waiting for her to turn 18, and it's not a wierd relationship like you aren't getting her to dress up as a dog, and you didn't get her drunk or give her drugs. So there's nothing wierd going on here at all. So why is this guy who doesn't know either of you even bent out or shape? Like I'll be real id frown if someone told me about an age gap like that, but why the fuck would I personally care? What business is it of mine? So what I'm saying is if the guy messages you, it's a problem. He's made it his business, and even if he doesn't like it, that still doesn't explain why he's made it his business. If you're driving and someone obviously can't drive, but they're within the lines, it's not your fucking problem either they crash or they don't. You going to yell at another driver who hasn't even broken the road rules? This guy is giving you relationship road rage.
No friends, no sex, yadayada you get the picture. 25 years old and I've been NEET-ing it up for a while now but I'm sick of it and trying to fix my shit. I want to start doing things again, trying to apply for jobs and volunteer work and just anything really but the job part is difficult because I have no degree and a massive gap in my resume. Volunteer work is either really really gay shit or it's cool but they only need me once a month. Sports so far doesn't get me much social interaction, seems like everyone is just focussed on themselves with the stuff I find interesting.So what else is there? Do I just walk into da club on my own and sit there? I can't really think of anything you can get into on your own.Btw I'm from Europe so don't give me any specifically American things. I'm also not autistic or horribly ugly (girls are into me), just kinda weird but not in a necessarily off-putting way, my exile is self imposed due to mental illness.
>>34979442I'm OP not that other guy. I am just looking for tangible, practical life advice, I am not interested in examining society or masculinity.
Join a club, join a class, join a gym, join a church. Do volunteer work. Take a dandom evening class. Hang out in a coffee shop. Meet your neighbors, your workmates, your classmates, people on lines. Go to events (movies, concerts, cons, sporrts, etc) or places (beach, hills, cities) and meet other people who like them
>>34979800I guess I should just do more stuff yeah. Problem is that when I do meet people I want them to fuck off and I an very wary of getting close to them (defense mechanism)
>>34979393Simple and easy are synonyms, and the nuance which makes up the difference between the two words is completely irrelevant when dealing with life problems, ass opposed to abstract academic arguments. By the way none of the things that actually matter are changeable by trying anything and everything that is achievable that way, is a cheap cope meant to disguise genetic failure. Maybe not in all cases, but someone wouldn't despair over things they knew they are able to change.
>>34979800ok fossil boomer
I accidentally removed the oleophobic coating on my smartphone's screen after cleaning it with “Walfort” lens wipes more than once (which contain isopropyl alcohol). How can I properly restore it if picrel is no longer available for purchase on Amazon?Amazon alternatives such as micro-crystal coating sprays seem a bit sketchy, and I guess they haven't been scientifically studied enough to be able to confirm they don't cause skin cancer in the long run, like asbestos, or something like that (like plenty of other chemicals haven't been researched enough).I know my post is involuntarily ironic after the last paragraph, but please bear with me.
>>34988209Amorphous silica is not listed anywhere on the carcinogen lists, not even in group 3. You'll be safe
>>34988209Oh, your cell phone is a group 3 carcinogen, however. Maybe you shouldn't be worried about the spray.
>>34988275Source?
>>34988268It can cause silicosis in workers who constantly breathe it (https://acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.3322/caac.21214). Now imagine someone slowly rubbing micro- or nanoparticles away with their fingers on a screen, for more than a year. Does the skin shed that away? I don't know, man. I want to believe it's safe. People at first thought smoking cigarettes was safe in the last century.BTW, Amazon says picrel has SiO2 in the product description. Maybe I'm being paranoid about it.
>>34988363Amorphous silica does not cause that, and that link 404'd. It's caused by breathing crystalline silica.>>34988320I was wrong, it's actually a group 2b carcinogen, which is worsehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IARC_group_2BThere's articles to be found, but this is just a list of them. Specifically, it's listed for radio-frequency electromagnetic fields
I've been going through some difficult things lately, and I feel like I need someone to talk to. I have about three friends, but I don't really trust them with personal things because they tend to gossip. So I really need a way to deal with these problems on my own.I've tried distracting myself with games, drawing, writing, reading, and even creating an imaginary friend to talk to, but none of those things seem to work for very long. Whenever I have nothing to do, the thoughts and feelings come back.I'm also not very good at explaining how I feel, so sometimes I don't even know how to talk about what's bothering me.For those of you who have gone through something similar, what helped you? Did you find any hobbies, ways of thinking, or places where you could escape for a while and feel a little better?
>>34987472The gioyc thread is right there anon
>>34987472Well you are here now so you might as well just say it and I will listen.I would offer DM's but a lot of you are so weird. The last time I did that someone went off about how Richard Wagner inspired Hitler and awakened the Aryan spirit through his opera.
I would suggest meditation. It’s calming and good exercise for learning to quiet your brain.
>>34987472Sounds like you need better friends (or to make more of them)
Sounds like you just need psychotherapy, which requires you having money to pay for it. You could also pray to God or write on a journal. I don't know how secular “meditation” could help you with all that. Maybe exercise and sleeping well will help ease your anxiety, too.Write a step-by-step plan on how to solve your problems, just try to think about it, ask whoever you need to, whom you can trust, then just put your mind in blank and go for it after some careful consideration. That's kind of what I'm doing. I don't want to waste my life any longer, problems are always solved TODAY.And I suppose your situation is not as bad as picrel, so be grateful for it.
I would've graduated this year but due to my poor financial situation I can't pay my tuition fees to register this semester and I have to pay a fee to freeze this semester and the next one because my situation is gonna last for a while and the wage cage is revealing its ugly head to me yet again and I don't want to go back thereI'm basically fucked and have to work a dead end job so I don't become a burden to my familywhat the fuck can i do?
>>34983932ask chatgpt if there are any scholarships you qualify formy wife was interested in schooling and found out that my state literally has fulltime employees whose only job is to help her qualify for 4 different federally-funded grants for education
If you don't like reading, go to the next threadLife feels pretty surreal right now. For the longest time I was sure that I'd be forever single, and even though it saddened me, I came to accept it as fact. I recently went to an outing with coworkers and as I was heading out, I got a text from one who's a girl asking when I'll start heading over there. I've known her for a few months and I've talked and joked around with her a lot platonically, mostly because I was confident she didn't see me in any way other than a normal coworker. I get there relatively on time and after 15 minutes she soon arrives, I immediately see she's wearing a cute dress and some makeup as she comes in. I offered the seat next to mine and she sat right down beside me. After a few minutes, I noticed she wasn't really interacting with anyone, so I made conversation with her about the drive and weather (it was raining), and it quickly led to me making dumb jokes and bantering as we started passing food and plates around. It soon became time to move onto the next spot, but we had to drive to get there and parking is a huge pain in the ass, so I offered to give her and another coworker a ride. We get to the spot there's multiple stores and restaurants in the area, but she and I walked over to the cafe to grab a few drinks. We spent a while debating back and forth on what to get before just grabbing whatever looked nice, and right after the rest of the group came in and we got mixed in with them.
By this point, it was pretty dark and she told me she had to leave to do some errands in the morning, but naturally I was the one to drive her back to her car. On that short drive, we had an intimate moment where she mentioned she's living here with her brother and that her parents are in a different city, to which I asked if she is planning to stay here or move back. She already decided on staying and I confessed that if she were to move away, I would absolutely miss her. As we pulled up to her car and she began grabbing her stuff, I worked up the courage and awkwardly asked her if she'd like to go out with me sometime next week.
She said yes. We both said goodnight to each other and I headed home, but for a solid minute I just sat there dumbfounded as to what the hell happened before the rush of blood hit my brain and I started freaking the fuck out in my head. A few days pass by with the anxiety still lingering on and I finally got the chance to talk to her again, and after a little while, she asked if I was down to go to the fair. I of course agreed to it as I hadn't made a solid plan (I didn't think she would say yes), but for her to already make a suggestion before I did is absolutely frying my mind. Now I'm going on a date for the first time in my life to the fair. Everything about this just doesn't make sense to me as I'm so used to the universe very clearly letting me know that it hates my very existence, I just can't comprehend as to how this even happened. I feel like my whole worldview has just been shattered and I'm stuck with the after shock. I don't know how it'll go, but I don't plan on trying too hard and just treat it like us hanging out, but god fucking damn am I still anxious like a mother fucker.Thank you for listening to my ted talk
Yeah I mean with that attitude you're DEFINITELY gonna fuck it up. I doubt you even get another date desu. You should have just stuffed your meat down her throat when you had a chance. She's already on to the next
>>34988196and you want advice on what? how to be more concise and to the point?
I'm a bit too old for goth girls, most of them are not even in their early 20's so I need to move onHow can I let go of my dream of having a goth gf and knowing I missed those opportunities when I was younger?
>>34977461Do you actually want a "goth" girl or do you want a questionably young girl that wears dark clothes? If you want an actual goth girlfriend, just look out for your local scene, go to shows and spaces and get into that, I get alt girl matches a bunch by just being into some shared interests and wearing a band shirt in one of my app photos. But really, stop projecting things onto girls that look slightly different than normie girls because most of the time they're just normies who wear different clothes.
>>34982178>questionably young>SHES OVER 18 BUT UNDER 25 YOU SICK FUCK!! >HER BRAIN IS ONLY 99% FULLY DEVELOPED YOU PREDATOR
>>34978017>your ideology stems from a urinal from 1917.topkek
>>34979905Because we all age????? >>34979585You absolutely can but more age gap relationships will fail than same-decade relationships. If I was crashing out after a divorce or long term breakup in my 30s or 40s? Absolutely, gimme a 23 year old with daddy issues, but know that's going to end sooner rather than later unless your dick is genuinely mind-blowing and she doesn't have aspirations beyond being your pet/bangmaid.
>>34977553politics? Is that goth now? it's just a parody of what it used to be? Where anything remotely alt has been shoved into the left/democrat box with all other alt adjacent stuff?>im not gothguess its so, if you are claiming to be some kind of authority... so does that mean actual goth is dead now?
>dating girl>she wants to marry me>her bodycount is like 5 before me>probably the best I could realistically find, virgins are too rare>it still disgusts me and makes me feel like a cuck to even consider committing to a girl that other men have fuckedHow the fuck do "normies" deal with this feeling?
>>34977318nta. I agree with you. If you secretly loath someone you are with for whatever reason and have no intention to marry them then why the angst over something that cannot be changed. Now OP can hate himself for falling for someone he loathes and stays around to punish her. That happens a lot.Virginity. I cared when young and wanted one only for conquest. The reality is, I am 30, fucked over 30 women and not one was a virgin. A half dozen I think I was the second guy in since many young women lose it early and realized there is not much upside. They got wasted or succumbed to social pressure (by other girls) or tricked and the guy was off to bang another girl. Point is they had no clue what fucking was about.Thing I found is the number is not the focus but women come in two flavors. Sluts and not sluts. That is not hard to uncover before you stick it in and certainly known before you fall for them. If you are the kind of guy that falls in love with what you fuck then don't fuck a slut. Oh, and don't hate sluts either because the world needs them.
>>34982713>Sluts and not slutsHow can you tell?
>>34974937He's just doing the male equivalent of whoring around during your prime. What's the problem?
>>34983785Women who are whoring around in their prime aren’t also married, and I thought being a whore was a bad thing.
>>34981879Still sealed :PPillbottles.jpg
im working through a temp agency for a short term job for six months and currently on month two. my bosses kept telling me about new positions opening up from within and i was getting kinda sick of it and im not a good liar so i couldnt effectively act like i was interested so i told my boss straight up once im done here im leaving town. i told them i would work the full term and do my best but i worry i really fucked up. especially since the past couple weeks i have been caught lackin in part due to a medical issue and i can overhear them complaining about me quite often. at the very least this reference is gone right?
>>34987554Can it be said that living your life truthfully and honestly is a mistake? I don't think so. I'm the kind of person who can lie while staring directly into someone's eyes without the slightest change in expression.If they had asked me that question, I would have lied without hesitation. But I have never liked lying, I have only done it to protect myself, never to gain anything.And if I were to spend the rest of my life without lying, I wouldn't regret doing that. I never would because I don't want to suffer as a result of that.You shouldnt feel bad because you got hurt from telling the truth. When you look back on your life, what would have mattered more? The good vibes you kept with your boss from spewing lies, or your dignity you kept by telling the truth?If you want to learn to lie like me. Whenever you are about to tell a lie. You will unconsciously do something. Maybe you look away or twiddle your thumbs. I think this is because we try to distance and distract ourselves from what we are saying.You need to embody the lie, as if saying it is normal. Instead of trying to hide from it, you need to embrace it, if that makes any sense.
They just though you might've wanted to move from temp to regular like most people do, they were probably surprised. As far as reference goes, I think you'll be fine. They always talk shit temps and newbies so you're fine, they can't share your medical info but your boss will be able to give you a decent reference if needed. Good luck bro, I'm about to apply for a temp job.
>>34987896>I'm the kind of person who can lie while staring directly into someone's eyes without the slightest change in expression.
>>34988071When I say that, I am not trying to sound like some alpha male or whatever. I am just telling the truth. Was the way I phrased it wrong or something?You realize that good liars exist, right? Does being one make somehow me a pretentious loser?
I cut myself intentionally for the first and last time yesterday. Will the wounds / scars ever fully away if they weren't even bleeding that much? I was really overstressed with a lot of things at once and had a terrible throbbing pain in one of my teeth and needed to distract the pain while I waited for a dentist appointment and procedure earlier today. I'm scared that one of my friends, co-workers, or family members might see the cuts. I'm mostly just wearing sleeved clothes to hide them but still, I already regret it as I lapsed in myself too far, stings like a motherfucker as well.oh yeah and uhhh recommendations for healthier coping mechanisms as well i guess
>>34987594A couple years back, I had to deal with an annoying ugly ass dog that I didn't really care for. At one point, I had to pick it up and it scratched my arm quite a bit. The resulting scars were pretty big and visible. Now they are faint and hardly noticeable. I can't say if it will Improve further than this. But, it should improve for you as well.
>>34987594Try scaraway cream, it should help with fresh scars. Otherwise the odds of it will depend on the depth and person to person
>>34987759>I had to deal with an annoying ugly ass dog that I didn't really care for
>>34988088I don't get it.
>>34987594On the wrists? Rookie mistake. Always go for the upper thigh. Much easier to hide.Can you pull off an arm warmer? That might help.If not, scar creams, lotion, bandages. Try to really baby wherever you cut. Maybe get more vitamin K and D for a while. Sunshine, milk, spinach, and kale. You'll probably still have some scars, hopefully they'll be less noticable.If you feel the urge again, go for the thighs. Same thrill of maybe killing yourself by nicking the femoral, but the upper thigh is easier to hide.I really hope you get past this. But if you don't, we all have to live in spite of it. If you can't help that impulse, you've got to be smart. It's smarter to bet on you living, so plan for tomorrow.
After a rather stressful few months, I finally got the balls to hire a therapist. I thought the guy would help me work through my shit but all he does is listen to me rant, ask me how it makes me feel, and then tells me to put more thought into what I want (and then does same thing in the next session)I went to this guy because the way I have been living is not working and that something needs to change. He doesn't suggest anything and when he asks "Are you ok with X?" and I reply "I guess so?", he replies that the issue is settled. He doesn't bother to consider that maybe shit is fucked and I don't know it.I feel like I'm talking to a slightly more condescending ChatGPT session. Is this experience normal for therapy sessions? I want to get fixed damnit.
>>34982741>I want to be told stuff that makes me feel better.Scratch that line. I mean that I'm feeling stressed and therapy is where you go when you feel stressed, right?
>>34982741>weakest link in a thruple relationship for the past 12 years.What the fuck.>Some guy is daddy/boss of my girlfriend.Next level cuckery going on here.>everything is fine because something worse will happen if I change anything.The logic doesn't follow, you are in a bad situation but it will get worse if you change it according to you. Nothing sounds fine here.>Am I bad for sticking with the devil I know?You know what they say, a devil in hand is worth two in the bush.The main question I have is, do you like suffering? I would think for an ordinary person, even for me of all people, if I were in a horrible situation. I would do whatever I could to get out of it. Even if it meant going into a worse one, because as long as I am alive I can try again. And a pain far worse than failure is having the capacity to solve a problem and doing nothing.I think you know well beyond a shadow of a doubt which of the two hurts more you just dont want to admit it.So I can only imagine for some sick and twisted reason, you actually enjoy the predicament you are in. Maybe you think you deserve it, or that you are where you belong. Maybe you have convinced yourself that its fine for so long you think of it as natural.>I want to be told stuff that makes me feel better.What? You realized you couldn't lie to yourself anymore and you wanted someone else to do it for you? Did you really think that would work, or did you want to believe that it would?
>>34982755>therapy is where you go when you feel stressed, right?Therapy doesn't make you feel less stressed. The changes that you make to your life in between the therapy sessions make you feel less stressed. Therapy is where you figure out the things that you need to do. In between is when you do them.
>>34982741>this chick loves me unconditionallyIf she really loved you unconditionally, she would see you more than once a month. This is not a "throuple": you're an occasional afterthought when she gets bored. Wouldn't you be happier getting a girlfriend who can be with you full time instead of only one day a month?>I've never been loved this much by anyone beforeThat sucks, but it doesn't mean you can't be loved more by someone in the future. >My therapist says that I have locked myself into a cage. Is he right? >I tell him that everything is fine because jumping with the unknown will go poorly for me. Am I bad for sticking with the devil I know?"Good" or "bad" aren't helpful concepts, here. What matters is, are you HAPPY being a woman's occasional distraction and doing a job you don't like? You don't sound very happy.
>>34981868Then it's settled.
i am a virgin in my mid 20s. most girls my age are not. do i just suck it up and wife up a woman who got blown out in college? no i will not date younger.
>>34987891Not like you have an option.
Pick an autist 25+yo virgin neet then. They only go out with their families though. Some are going back to uni to finish their degrees. Go for those, but only if they are in stem
