I attempted anal for a second time with an escort, but I wasn't successful because the condom would make me lose my boner, plus I was using a delay cream, which didn't help. She was awesome and really tried to help me.I'm considering taking a viagra and trying it again. It's been on my bucket list, but is it even worth it? Will viagra do it? will I be hard as diamonds?I sort of just want to do it and write it off and move on.
>>34904795Anal sex with a prostitute defeats the whole point. Anal doesn't even feel that good. The whole point is the domination and submission aspect with a person you love. It's meant to be a cerebral experience. The sensation in your dick is going to be incredibly underwhelming even when it's with a long term partner. Anal with a prostitute... with a condom... is a complete waste of money.
>>34905043Not sure on the should be with someone you love aspect, but agree on everything else. The kick is psychological. It doesn't physically feel as good as vagina.
>>34905043You just end up with a stinky condom, less money, and wondering why you stooped so low to buttfucking a whore. Some serious revaluation is in order.
>>34904795>escortYou mean, whore?
>>34905179>Not sure on the should be with someone you love aspectyeah, I too think it would be more appropriate for some situationship type of situations, your uni girl friend, wife of a dickhead that owes you money, cousin, etc.
What makes a woman 'feel safe' with you?
>>34910232It's going to feel like larp at first and it will be hard work, but become the person you wished you had in your dark days. That resentment doesn't leave you, but it's your decision to let it burn you up and destroy you or to let it light the fire under your ass and motivate you to be better for it. Eventually the kind words come naturally, the smile stops feeling so forced and you feel the light come back to your life.I was beaten, neglected, bullied and shown first hand the cruelty that humanity is capable of; by all accounts I was on track to be just like my father and that's exactly why I chose to become warm and to become kind instead.There was a time I let that anger for everything guide me, where I drank and got into fights, stole, lied, and let the silver tongue I inherited from the man I despised take me down his path. I was textbook Machiavellian and wanted all the money, power, booze, women, fast cars and status a man could get; and by all accounts I could get it if I wanted it... But it never filled the void and I never felt better living like that. It took a lot of introspection, a little reading, some philosophy and a genuine desire to be better for the people who really loved me to start that change. I'll save you the bullshit and skip to the real realization that changed me.Be the person you wished would have saved you from your woes. Sounds simple but that's all there is to it. The friend you wished asked if you were ok, the brother who made you dinner when your parents weren't home, the voice of reason when you were buying another bottle. Be the good you wish you had in your life, I promise a lot of good follows. It's not easy, very fucking difficult in fact, and that asshole you've become never fully goes away. It's not a straight line forward and you'll regress sometimes, but if you're committed to it you get through it and keep moving forward.Difficult but rewarding; I'd be lying if I said it wasn't worth it.
>>34909220>What makes a woman 'feel safe' with you?Not doing anything that makes her feel like you might hurt her.
>>34910286Thank you very much, it's very similar to The Golden Rule (Treat others the way you would like to be treated) which makes perfect sense, it's prevalent across so many different cultures that one ends up thinking that there must be something like an objective truth and that principle might be itI also wanted to congratulate you on pushing forward, it's hard to look into the void and not want to jump directly into it after witnessing how messed up people are and choose kindness over the desire of getting some sort of retribution Keep going, keep fighting against all what's wrong in the world
>>34909220Being emotionally accessible. A turtle outside of his shell, willing to bite and be bitten. Modern women hate emotionally repressed guys. Even the most obnoxious emotions are better than polite colorless inhibition. That's why so many women like niggers, because niggers wear all their feelings on their sleeve.
>>34910293Women don't fear wall punchers and fistfight starters, they fear cold blooded emotionless high IQ sociopaths.
Please name one reason to approach a woman. People are trying to convince me. I need your advice.
>>34910197That's your one reason, you convinced yourself.If you don't and expect them to flock to you, you'll never get that relationship and end up alone.
>>34910203So true
Sigh. Bump.
>>34909528Same. I don't see any reason to "put myself out there" and get rebuffed or put on the back burner with a non-committal reply. Like yeah, we can go travel the world together, because that's what I do with my life. Chicks supposedly love that...in theory. But in reality, they just want to be spoiled and pampered in an exotic resort location on somebody else's dime. They're 100% uninterested in actually seeing the world on a budget and mingling with the common people, eating what they eat, sleeping where they sleep, riding their public transport etc. Maybe there are a handful of exceptions, but I've yet to encounter any of them.
>>34910203If you are young and naive, you have to take risks and make mistakes, or else you will never move on from adolescent insecurities and attain maturity - however it manifests itself. By age 30 you should be enjoying a degree of inner peace and contentment that you did not feel in your 20s.
Anyone ever have any success dealing with Avoidant Personality Disorder?Not "avoidant attachment" or "social anxiety", which are different things.
>>34909693According to a shitty dsm v test and my own mother i am avoidant. To overcome this first i acknowledge if i want to do something then i try to foresee all the situations and things than can go wrong (often 4 or 5 before i get tired) and then i use any feeling that i have to increase the momentum (wrath, pride and envy)
>>34909693>Anyone ever have any success dealing with Avoidant Personality Disorder?Define success.
>>34910112Being able to approach people, such as women, coworkers, family... It's not nerves or anxiety that gets in the way. It's more like guilt or shame that stops me.
>>34910270Historically the solution to excess social inhibition has always been regular alcohol consumption. Without alcohol, entire peoples would've gone extinct because nobody would have sex.
>>34910276I used to do that, but I'm at the level of inhibition where I need to get near black-out drunk to be social. And then I always go one drink too far, and end up actually black out.
Ladies, if you were 28 years old and a 22 year old guy approached you, how would you react?
>>34910074Not a woman but... where do we meet, what is your excuse to approach me, do you look to my eyes, do you look confident or narcissist and bothersome, am i looking good today?Are you better looking than me??
>>34910074you have nothing to offer a 28 year old womantry 48, now that's a different discussion
I’ve had a lot of issues in my life, and it’s gotten to the point where it all feels inescapable. A few of my friends died young in high school, and I had a hard time relating to people in college as a result because I was so traumatized. When I graduated I broke my foot and developed complex regional pain syndrome (also called the suicide disease) and was out of commission for 2 years, which I luckily recovered from during COVID. I built a great career for myself, and my dating life began to flourish. I very suddenly went from someone who had no self esteem to someone who was going out with girls I thought were way out of my league. It made me feel like I made it. But I got really sick and then I got dumped brutally and I got long covid for 4 months which made me really suicidal. But then I took a medication in January that fucked up my body in ways medical science doesn’t understand and nobody believes me. I feel like a shell of a person. I moved cities earlier in the year and then I had to move back with my parents recently at the age of 29 because my health was failing so horribly. I’ve been isolated from my friends and my performance at work has dropped significantly because I’m in so much pain all the time. Doctors don’t know what to do and my body is deteriorating. I’ve been in therapy, and it helps, but it’s all so crushing. I lost my life to chronic illness before, and I got it back after years of fighting for my life. But to fall back into a similar but even less understood situation makes me feel like it was all for nothing. I was suicidal before the health collapse and I can’t even describe how I feel now. Is there anything I can do to cope? I can’t eat a lot of food I used to love anymore. My body is highly sensitized to everything now.
Bump
>>34908349What is your current diet?What can you physically do now?Are your friends okay with your current state or is it becoming an inhibitor with them?It sounds like you need to be very strict with yourself to continue making this work.If you also dump your friend groups you'll need to find another or i suspect you'll lose the will to live again.If I was in your shoes id look for a support group for people in situations like yours.
>>34908386I eat a restrictive diet of chicken, steak, and some fruits and vegetables. Friends are sympathetic but they don’t really get it. I did find a community of people who got fucked by the medication and it really does help a lot. I just wish I wasn’t called a crazy person every time I tried to talk about it online outside of the community because people act like they want me dead. It’s very upsetting to people. I’m holding on for now, but I continue to suffer in silence. No one understands this condition and any talk about it gets stomped into oblivion by people who will never understand so I don’t see it gaining awareness anytime soon. I met up with my old roommate the other day and he said “you look better, when you left a few months ago you looked like a corpse.”
I'm 27 years old so I'm not a teen anymore, what kind of man do girls my age like?
>>34909661Yeah that's probably a good start, my parents were the issue, my grandad has always been nice to me fortunately but I need to find support elsewhereThanks Anon
>>34903711Become middle class goy. Become submissive in the relationship.
>>34903711Girls our age want stability, but crave the spark of fun from their early 20s. If you can show them you're a stable partner who can help them achieve their goals and also make them have fun like they're young again, then you'll do very well in late 20s dating.
>>34910178Any advice on how to find that balance? I'm pretty much a Chud, I did travel for a few years so I do have some stories to tell but I used to be your average shut in degenerate and despite my travels I'm still like that
>>34910219Hold a decent job (sounds like you do as you can afford to travel) and find that thirst for life. Hit up farmers markets, go to city events/block parties, go to cheap sports games, conventions, fairs. Do cool shit, love your hobbies fiercely regardless of how lame painting warhammer figures at 2am really is; etc.I'm also a massive introvert, but I still try to get out and have fun once in a while and it's done wonders for my mental health an social life. The fact that you've seen parts of the world tells me you're more than capable of exploring the area around you.
I request that you tell me how to afford a brand new latest generation (at the time of purchase) iPhone as a Russian who earns 500-600 USD per month after taxes, most of which goes to rent and food. Regarding storage, 256 GB is enough. Regarding the tier, honestly I think buying such an expensive phone without a telephoto camera is a fucking meme, so I'd of course massively prefer Pro or Pro Max, but given that I'm a poorfag, I'll settle for base iPhone, but not the e model.
>>34909920Move to the EU and get a higher paying job. Oh, wait.
>>34909920I was in your last thread, we pretty comfortably established that you're just going to have to save up. Loans are a bad idea because interest is shitty, so if you want to buy outright you need to have the cash it's as simple as that.
>>34909934thats the jokerussia and china are materialistic and capitalist, and the west is only great because of socialist directives
>>34909920How much does it cost in Russia?Cut down on spending on unecessary items. How much do you save each month? Just start from there and you'll eventually have enough to buy your phone. It may take a while but you'll get there.Do Russians get access to Black Friday deals in November? Or just wait a few months until your savings are sufficient.
>>34909920fuck off samefag>>34909930of course the namefag subhuman falls for the bait thread kill both of yourselves pleas
I have these emotional highs where I just feel incredible and motivated and I have tons of energy to do everything. I feel super productive and great.Then I have these lows that kind of come out of nowhere, and it feels like nothing matters. I barely want to get out of bed, I skip meals because eating feels pointless, so on. I get upset easily, I hate things I normally like.I got diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and my husband took it as a big relief because now the medication is supposed to help me avoid those lows, but I don't get those bursts of energy and feeling great when I'm on the medication either.I feel like these meds are crippling my personality into something muted and acceptable to society, because the way I feel when I have all that energy is the person I want to think of as myself.My husband treats it like I'm hurting myself by skipping my meds, because I started taking them only when I feel down and he keeps complaining they "don't work that way" which I know but it's easy for him to say than when he's not the one experiencing all this.I don't feel like there's any kind of reality where I can get him or anybody to understand the way I feel here, and it's so fucking isolating that I'm afraid of just giving in to the pressure from everyone, taking the pills, and losing myself into being this emotionally stable but dull person.
>>34902403TIME TO HIT THE SHART SURAGTITS, GET THAT GOOD-GOOD AND LIGHT THAT CRYSTAL UP LIKE IT'S 1999!!
>>34905829SHARD*
I don't have bipolar, but I do have ADHD and experience cycles of burnout/depression that often mediated my more hyper/manic phases.I think you need to acknowledge that you are not an objective observer in your own reality, and that as someone involved in a relationship (with kids?), your emotional state is extremely important for the stability of your family. You recognize the lows, but the highs are also bad too. Manic behavior is genuinely frightening from the outside and you probably don't realize just how strong you might be coming off in those moments. You might ask your husband to film them for you so you can view them when you are in a more neutral space, as it might show you how unsettling your highs are. You may subjectively feel better, but there's a reason human brains trend towards mild positivity rather than constant motion. I know that if I'm pushed to the limit and can trigger ADHD adrenaline, I am 300% more productive and resourceful than the average person. But it has a very physical cost and is also not representative of a healthy way of living. While I do acknowledge my best work comes from facing down the barrel of a gun, I take my meds because they make my life easier for everyone and I don't end up relying on stress to get things done. The "joy" or "passion" that comes with a deadline burns so hot that it immolate me afterwards, and it's not worth the constant cycle of building and destroying habits, passions, and goals.
>>34901770(part 1 of 2)There's simply no way around this one, I'm afraid. It's in the nature of bipolar disorder that there are both high swings and low swings. Medication to treat it necessarily damps down both the lows and the highs. There isn't any way to selectively treat the lows without also affecting the highs, and there never will be. So you have a simple either/or choice: take the medication, or don't take it. If you take it, it will stabilise you and make you more normal, without either kind of swing. If you don't take it, you will continue to get both lows and highs. I can't tell you which of those two choices is the better one for you. Taking the medication is probably the better choice for everybody else around you, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's better for you.>I feel like these meds are crippling my personality into something muted and acceptable to society, Well, yes: they make you normal. >because the way I feel when I have all that energy is the person I want to think of as myself.You want to think of yourself as being that person BUT YOU AREN'T. Eventually you are going to have to face that fact.>My husband treats it like I'm hurting myself by skipping my meds, because I started taking them only when I feel down and he keeps complaining they "don't work that way" He's right. They don't.>which I know but it's easy for him to say than when he's not the one experiencing all this.The fact that he isn't experiencing it doesn't mean he's wrong. The meds don't work like that.(continued in part 2)
>>34910185(part 2 of 2)>I don't feel like there's any kind of reality where I can get him or anybody to understand the way I feel here, and it's so fucking isolating that I'm afraid of just giving in to the pressure from everyone, taking the pills, and losing myself into being this emotionally stable but dull person.In a sense you're right: neither we nor your husband have experienced what being bipolar feels like. We'll never get it. But there are certain things about your situation which are absolute, unchangeable facts. It is a fact that who you are when you're high is NOT "who you are as a person". Who you are when you're high cannot be separated from who you are when you're low. Both of those people are who you are when you're not on the meds. It is also a fact that the meds don't work the way you wish they did, and they never will and never can. You can't change that. Your husband not understanding how you feel doesn't change any of these facts. You still face the same binary choice: meds or no meds.
I have a bad habit of meeting women I like but who are likely not good for me to date. Even though I like them. I have met 3 women now whom I like being around, find them attractive and actually legitimately enjoy spending time with them. However, they are all likely awful for me to date.Woman 1: Amazing woman in my opinion. Fun, attractive, thoughtful. Issue? She has 3 children between two different men. All 3 of the children have some developmental disorder. You probably wouldn't date her right?Woman 2: Great woman. Great cook. Funny. Issue? She is 43 and I am 33. That seems like a massive age gap and I'd like to have children at some point. You wouldn't date her right? Woman 3: Woman I am most interested in. Great qualities. Issue? She lives like 3 hours away and is a incredibly dry texter. It feels like I am pulling teeth out just trying to communicate with her. What can I do? Realistically, I probably shouldn't date any of these women. But I am not exactly meeting tons and tons of women to date. I just need a retard check. Dating ANY of these women would be full maxxed out retard right?
You should score the dry texture off your list to begin with because she obviously isn't interested in dating you.
>>34910062If theyre a good fit id look past the issues to see what you and they can work with.My main rule is making sure you dont get in an unbalanced 70/30 situation where youre putting in most of the effort. In other words make sure theyre not looking for a savior to get fat and lazy to.When you help raise kids you also have to grow up super fast because the center of the universe is always the kids (and no longer you), especially if theyre retarded.Is woman 1 stable? Does she have a job? Are you willing to accept the kids? Is she willing to let you make rules in the house without you being forced to be second in charge?With woman 2 id ask yourself if youre willing to have kids quickly with her. You have a limited amount of time to get your shit together. The biggest problem with age gaps to visualize is the 2 of you may be in different life passages at some point. At 60 she may be in cognitive decline while youre camping in the back country at 50. Is this something you can live with? Same as woman 1, does she have her shit together? Stable job?How is woman 3 in person? I can relate to her since I hate texting people and just tell them to call me. If thats your only interaction is texting then the other anon is probably right that shes not interested.Its kind of hard to determine if someone is worth it until you live with them.Obviously if youre helping take care of someone's kids the woman should be able to help provide for your life too in other ways. The one other thing to think about two is visualizing you having a kid and then the woman's kids as a step parent. You have to remain unbiased juggling 4 kids from 3 different dads. That can lead to difficult situations especially if either the dads are still involved or the woman thinks you are taking sides.So what are you willing to live with in these situations?
You're not forced to date someone just because you like them.
>>34910123Now that you broke it down like this. I don't think I can date any of these women and keep a honest heart. I do like them but I do believe our lives are too different. I am actually really bothered by the woman with multiple developmentally disabled kids. I feel sad even saying that. Makes me feel like a jerk even though I didn't do anything with her or lead her on etc. Thanks for the advice and helping me take a step back and really observe and think about my options.
I have a poor perception of dating and relationships I think. I see my friends in relationships and it seems like it just a never ending schedule of things the girlfriend wants / has to do and the guy has to tag along. Prime example, my friend is going with his girlfriend to her family banquet thing of some sort. Then he has to go to some other gathering with her. Then she wanted to travel to Disney Land etc. All this shit would make me vomit if I had a girlfriend making me do all that shit. I think this is stems from me having a very disjoint family. I never had to go to family functions and still to this day never go to family functions. I don't hate my family. I just don't like hanging out with most of my family. So what is default? Do women really drag their boyfriends to all this shit? I hate events. If I had a girlfriend, my biggest fear is her making me do all this shit and then I am not really making her do anything. I am not a needy person and I am not really fiending to make someone do stuff with me. Is it me that is the issue?
>>34907632I've said my piece to op.I just hate people like you who don't bother to think for more than 30 second and just spew out the first shit that comes to their mind. You have the audacity to come to this board and think they can give any useful advice, it's fucking pathetic. Honestly interacting with people who are clearly too stupid to realise their own stupidity is so frustrating.
>>34907645yeah i'm not reading that wall of textkill yourself faggot
>>34907649>knows it's true>time for ad hominem attacksThanks for the confirmation retard!
>>34907680knows what's truei saw your reply scrolling pasti'm genuinely not reading that or anything else you poststop wasting both our timecaptchas are not nearly fun enough for me to spend any more time on you
>>34907682You were raped by him btw
I’m 20m, never have been in couple and i just want to flirt at least to feel it but i don’t know how to do it
I'm cry
>>34909714Im crine
Why cry?
You're fagReal men bottle it up until it manifests in violence and anger and early death
>>34909714Hi cry, i'm dad.
Cri whi
like i can remember ideas and stuff and at best i can run code myself and mess with it but like it's 600 word technical book, every word is teaching about something, i lose all the motivation to complete books because by the time i am half way through i have already forgotten 2/3 of it, reading same book over and over again is too time consuming. any tips? how do you do it?
>>34909249I can’t open the link.
>>34908426Do every single exercise and summarise each paragraph in a single sentence.
>>34908426By getting a job.University is not a place to write all the knowledge of centuries in your brain. It helps you be aware of content that exists and know where to look for it when you need it. The use of that knowledge branches still into1. Draw new conclussions from specialist understanding2. Build a big tree of concepts to recall what you needFor the first one, You do a PhD or get a job and make a single subject your career for the rest of your life. For the second one, don't put so much fucking effort, just pack together concepts and write examples of use in a notebook for personal consult.You will forget everything you know about every subject if you don't use it for 3 years, that's why nobody wants to match old graduates, why USMLE has a limit of 3 tries, why NEETs are so fucking doomed.
>>34909479Yep that must be why all software and hardware today are not garbage today.
>>34909249wtf it's so big
I am getting citizenship from a country and I will be in a waiting list for at least 1 year at minimum. What can I do meantime? I am extremely bored
>>34909792>>34909806I am from the ethnic diaspora of the country I am settling, retarded. Go fuck yourself>>34909808I need the citizenship to work, faggot.>>34909803I just wanna find a fun hobby to make the waiting time more fun. I can just work or go to university after the citizenship unfortunately.
>>34909833Sorry dude i though you were a piece of shit...There is plenty of things to do, you can start running or lifting, even parkour or sword fighting. If you want to do something that increase your manual dexterity you could learn to play violin, flute, maybe sculpting, painting or singing if you want to
>>34909833>I need the citizenship to work, faggot.you didn't specify you were currently LIVING in the country you were getting citizenship from. though to be fair i should have probably guessed that.get a library card and read books, go hiking, start preparing yourself and self-studying for whatever work or education you want to get afterwards, learn a language you like, learn to cook well
>>34909792>>34909806>implying that immigrating is bad nowYou faggots are completely insane. Being able to move around the world is literally a human right. These extreme immigration restrictions are a radical far-right idea and it's a very new idea, it wasn't that way until the very late 20th century.
>>34909932nta but free movement has been limited by borders and regimes since the dawn of human civilization
