>be me>already an adult>divorced parents since childhood>mom wont leave alone and still shout me at the smallest thing>will not be able to afford living alone at peace because european housing market is a shit>no friends since primary school and still virgin (already gave up on both things)>teachers telling me unironically that im smart but im failing at calculus and losing motivation to study>cant sleep well since last year and cant concentrate in class>while also wanting to study the career im passionate about and not be a worthless neet>lost motivation in almost everything>might fail this year>mangaanime and light novels are my only escape from reality>might actually be restarted>wanted to go to the gym but im scared of people>prolly autisticComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
finish your goddamn degree (or don't I don't give a shit) and get a job so you can move out
I havent really been NEET for a few years, but there are times where I end up close to falling back into it, could be because im lazy and discontent with life. One thing that kept me going was trying to obtain a long-term goal that i cant just obtain in a day or two. I dont have it figured out, but i find myself capable of managing through compartmentalization of all my tasks. focusing on one task first and organizing the remainders later when i have "it" figured out. I spent years not really caring about my future, i never had any goals and would wake up, browse the internet, play vidya, and sleep. if i continued like that, I would have an heroed years ago. Think long, think hard. It's up to you to figure out your long term goals. Have you lost interest in your prospective field of study?Honestly, you sound like you are attempting to talk yourself out of everything. I dont really know your situation but I have been in this situation to some extent, I dont know exactly when I crawled out of that mental hole, but i think It kinda stopped after setting a bunch of long term goals. to this day, these goals still motivate me. every hamster needs a wheel
>>34394736I'm also eastern euro.Was in exact same situation except wasn't virgin/had friends. Well whatever, that didn't help. 1) Fix your sleep. Most important part. Get drugs. Atarax, trazodone lowest dosage, whatever. Depending on which eastern euro shithole you're from, they won't prescribe you this. Beg them. Lie to them. Ask ai to help you lie convincingly. Beg your mom. Whatever. If prescription drugs are no option, get OTC. Coffee/tea - decrease usage, only drink before noon. FIXING YOUR SLEEP IS PRIORITY #1. 2) Follow >>34395141 . It works, it's just how brain works, hard science. You also probably lack self-directedness, fortunately fixing dopamine is the same as fixing self-directedness. Use gym as your task to train self-directedness on. Just getting your ass. To the gym. Is all you have to do. Enter the locker room, that's it. Once you enter it, you can go back home if you are too scared of people. Go in, do what's comfortable/not scary, you'll get used to it. If it's scary, it's scary. Do what's not too scary at first. This is gradual, don't set goals like "ok im gonna take a cold shower and go to the gym and do all the exercises and then do my calculus homework" from the getgo, you'll fail and reinforce that failure pattern. Start with easy shit you can do, your job is to build and reinforce a pattern of succeeding, the scale of your success doesn't matter at all. Repeatable pattern reinforcement does.
Roxy is perfection *chef's kiss*
I was in a long term relationship with this woman and we broke up a few years back. She cheated on me with several people and I know until it was over, blew up, scrubbed me from the lease, and kicked me out of our place over an argument about something minor, told her people I was abusive (I wasn't). I had my flaws and problems but I didn't deserve that. Since then I've worked hard to feel proud of myself again, I ended up finishing a difficult project I had put off, been excelling at work and about to get a license I've been working towards for years, saved and got a nice truck I am proud of, and got my own place with no roommates. I've refined my style, even talked to a few women since then, still haven't been in another relationship. I've wanted to sort out my own life first, alone. I've been doing well, thoughts of her were very infrequent and I was apathetic to them.Then I had a shitty job at work and decided to get beer on my way home the other day. I drank and thought it would be a great idea to look her up on Instagram and see what she's been up to. Looks like she's recently engaged.I really thought I had the hurt dicked, I thought it was gone but it's back. I cannot figure out why I'm tripping over this shit, but it's taken the piss out of my week, like actual despair. It makes no logical sense, and I am sort of irritated with myself and embarrassed that I'm feeling this way. I don't want to open up to anyone about it. It's been multiple years, I've put work in, and I'm a grown man I should be better now. Am I subconsciously not letting go of some bullshit? What is my problem, am I depressed? Have I been this whole time?
>>34396100Okay, but I did back when it was fresh. Confiding in family was worthless, they didn't really approve of her and didn't tell me that until after, only consolation was "you dodged a bullet," and I was in fact hit and did not dodge the bullet. Buddies didn't really help, suggested I do stupid shit like leave a bag of shit on her porch, or they didn't understand why I cared about her because they don't value relationships.It would sound pretty ridiculous if I brought it up again like 2-3 years later. That's mostly why I'm posting here.
>>34396359>I don't really think you want *her* back, but the feelings you had *with her*Thanks this is actually what I feel, I just couldn't find the words for it.>Go on dates. Try to trust someone again.That's the tough thing, I've had no issues when I meet a woman while out or in a group or something, they often like me, but I actually get sort of afraid of connection now and end up pushing them away with some excuse. Like the thought of going on a dedicated date kind of disturbs my peace. I feel like I have to clean the house so to say before I have any guests.
>>34395847this pain is normal, you arent weird or a pussy. you really shouldnt look up exs that give you pain though. the only cure is to find a new girlfriend who really amazes you. yea its hard, but pretty much everyone who managed to get one girl they love manage to find a second as well.
>>34396413That's not peace, that's your comfort zone. And you need to step out of it, otherwise we see each other here again in 1-2 years.All I read are excuses while complaining about said excuses. Do you really need to clean the house, or is it just another excuse to not open the window? Accept the beauty in the unknown or you will die bored by yourself
>>34396486I agree with what you're saying and I probably do need to step out of my comfort zone. The whole situation a few years ago just kind of left me with my dick in my hand and no lifelines, I'm worried that it could happen again or I'd fuck a good thing up. I'm not trying to make an excuse when I say that, I know I have to try again, but I guess I don't know how to vet someone. Sounds dumb but I think I'm a pretty passionate person and easily burned. Obv hypervigilance isn't the answer to that, but idk what is.I appreciate you taking the time, it does help.
I hate being judged so much that I will do everything to be liked from being subservient to just avoiding the whole relation and ghosting to avoid conflict how can I get better at asking for what I want, when mostly I get rejected for it or this has been my experience at least
bump
Even when I cut them short, my nail always somehow gets chipped and gets shorter.
Is the problem that you're picking at them or that they get chipped and then you pick at them? There's clear nail polish that can strengthen them to make it less likely they break. Additionally, if you take nail clippers to any broken bits it will make you less likely to pick it off. But for the picking itself I'm not so sure. You'll need to find a different outlet for your hands to stay busy.
Clip and file those bastards. Keep that routine consistent.
>>34391985Eat more jello
>>34396465Does this work?
My girlfriend and I split up on Sunday after two and a half years together.We still loved each other to the end, but we’re both in very different phases of our lives at the moment and couldn’t find a way to make it work. That wedge just kept growing deeper, and we realized that we needed to cut it off or we’d just keep hurting one another. We didn’t want to get to a point where we resented or hated one another.I’ve lost my best friend and I don’t know what to do. I’ve had breakups before, but none have felt nearly as crushing for me as this one. I tried going to my family for advice, but they never approved of her in the first place, so all I ended up getting was lecturing about how it wasn’t the right fit anyways and that I just need to chin up and deal with it. Any mention of me being sad about the ordeal is just met with a “you can’t let yourself be upset about this.”All I want to do is text her, tell her about my day, hope that one day we can make things work. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to.
>>34395105How come?
>>34395350NTA, but if you love each other still, it seems like a shame to throw things away after two years. The issue of long distance is absolutely a problem, I don't know what else was, but if you were able to manage it couple's counseling, diversifying your support network, and relocating to be with each other in person again would've been my suggestion. But we don't know your story, we don't know why you broke up, and we don't know whether that would've been enough to save it. Still, it seems a shame from an outside perspective to throw away two years when both parties still love each other. But don't let some randoms on the internet decide for you. Whether it's the right call or not is between you and her and involves information you didn't mention.
>We still loved each other to the end, but we’re both in very different phases of our lives at the moment and couldn’t find a way to make it work.first step is to stop lying to yourself lmao you got dumped bro
>>34394770>reverse image search this drawing to find the artist>your thread is the only sourceWtf?Is this an AI image or did you or someone you know draw it? Either way it looks great.
>>34396367I found it on [spoiler]Bluesky[/spoiler] like a year ago. Can't find the link for the life of me, sorry.>>34395438Yeah there was a lot more to it than I mentioned in the OP, but it's not all that relevant to the thread. Definitely chewing on that stuff on my own though.
As a black guy, how do I stop hating my own race and become one of those cool, confident blacks that aren’t self aware about it?
>>34393627Wrong field new friend
>>34392909You have to surround yourself around black people that you admire and that want to improve. Same as any other group. Empowerment is unlearning a bunch of biases that you might have picked up growing up consciously and unconsciously. There's a few popular black youtubers that can help you on this journey. They all have a common throughline of coming from some very culturally aware and pro black families but even thry testify to experiencing anti black conditioning growing up.
Win a fight, unironically
>>34392909OP is a white racist who posts various "I hate myself because I'm....." threads weekly
Just be yourself
The other day as I was working out I gave up after 2 sets because I could tell it was one of those bad days where I'm weak. I just lost all willpower at the prospect of struggling just to lift what I could easily do last week and so I just gave up. This happens in all areas of my life: sometimes I'll just stay up and fuck up my sleep schedule because I'll suddenly turn into another person who doesn't care about efforts, discipline, good habits etc. It's like on some days I just stop caring about my efforts and destroy everything I've built, this often happens after a minor setback. Obviously this is bad. How do I get an iron willpower?>inb4 muh "its not motivation its discipline hurrdurr"Yeah try being disciplined when your willpower is gone and you become temporarily completely apathetic to the outcome. You just stop caring and break your own rules
>>34396136what do you do with your time instead
Nothing leads to nothing. Not really a rocket science. Your body won't work on it's own. It needs your commands. Not a single successful person out there just snapped with its fingers and everything happened automatically. They went through the same hell like you. The only difference is, that you give up all over again and rather ask on 4chan "what is this thing" instead of just doing it.The hardest thing of doing something is starting. Once the rock is rolling, it will be easier. To not give up *while* doing shit, you have to override your thoughts. "Who the fuck cares about me" turns into "I care about me". "I feel weak today, I should stop." -> "I feel weak today - one reason more to do 2 extra sets."It's a mindset thing nobody else can help you with except yourself.
>>34396051The only way I know of motivating people with your condition is to punish them severely for not doing what they are supposed to. This works for a small portion of the people with your condition. For the rest, nothing will work. Our society frowns on such things though, so it’s not a practical solution.I don’t think there is a good solution because your problem feeds back onto itself in a vicious cycle. Every time you give up, you make it more likely that you will give up the next time.Sometimes I feel like giving up like you do, but I never give up on the things that I really care about. I gave up on working out and online dating, but I haven’t given up when it comes to my job or taking care of things around the house because those things are important to me.
>>34396051Take modafinil if you need to study something
https://troof.blog/posts/nootropics/
Hi, it's my first post on 4chan, sorry if i do some errorI'm 21 and i had a girl best friend, but yesterday we had decide to take some time for each other because of something i didFrom what she said she only need some days to think about it, and I think she's rightBut right now i can't do anything else than being stuck in my bedI don't have other friendI know it's just a phase and i will be able to do other things in m'y days, but right now it just hurt like hell and i can't think to anything elseI tried to just dumbscroll on tiktok or insta but it still hurt like hell Does anyone have any hobby or anything like that, that could help me not thinkI need to not think at all (and the music doesn't work)
>>34395945>I'm 21 and i had a girl best friend, but yesterday we had decide to take some time for each other because of something i didWhat did you do to her? Did you rape her?
>>34396021What ? No, not at allEnglish is not my first language so sorry for the mistakeWe were talking about something serius (well, i though it was the case) and mid conv she goes in voc with a friend and stop replying to meAfter she leave the voc, idk how to tell it, but she used the term "pity party", so yeahWe decided to take some time because talking everyday wasn't a good way to be friend
>>34396021I know i have fucked up, and there is nothing i can do other than waiting some daysWhat i need is a distraction, something that will let me live without thinking about that, because right now i can't
>>34395945Develop a hobby of manning up.
>>34396050>>34396060Why did you rape her, Anon? I can't believe you did that.
I've been trying to join discord group calls and talk to people but the conversation goes so fast. Everyone in the call has so much more energy and emotion and when I try and speak it's either drowned out or sucks the energy out the call. I find myself just sitting silentley in the call. Then leave and have to lie down or take a nap because my brain feels fried from how intesne the call is. I don't have any family, friends, and can't work a job for that reason.
>>34395723Sounds like you're just saying that to be devils advocate.
>>34395738nope, just sharing my observations. you have to be really fucking stupid to get fired from multiple customer service jobs.
>>34395662I HATE group calls. Thats why I only do one on one calls. Join a big public server, they tend to have 2 person vcs, sit in one and wait for someone to join and then just talk. I know it seems loserish to do but so many people do it in the servers Im in
I am exactly like this and became a pilot. You just need to know how to state direct facts on the radio. Otherwise you dont need to talk to anyone,
>>34395662Honestly just try to be intensely and genuinely interested in someone, larp that way.If someone says “Last week I went outside and saw a leaf”Just try to think of as many questions as possible“Do you like nature?”“Do you go outside much”“Was it a fun week?”Meme answer but it’s an example. If you’re just constantly searching for questions you will never run out. And when you do get stuck just refer to an older thing being said.Now DO THIS attentive listening thing, but don’t just ask questions. Once saw an autist do this about shit he wasn’t interested in and at the end of the day everybody thought he was weird and nobody really got to know him. Essentially, try to think of a question, but tell a bit about yourself before asking it.>Last week I went outside and saw a leafCan be followed up by>That’s cool, I don’t go outside much, but when I do it’s usually a nice park or forest. Do you go outside much?Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Sebring, Florida... a town that's as dull as last week's leftovers. Retirement haven for folks who've forgotten more excitement than I'll ever know. The meth houses here are the only ones who seem to be thriving. Orange growing is fucked. So alas, here I am, trapped in this white trash lakeside riviera. I'm reaching out to the wise minds of /adv. I need your guidance on surviving and eventually escaping this quagmire. Here are my questions:1. How can I make the most of my time here without going crazy or into meth? Any suggestions for interesting hobbies or activities that I could pursue in Sebring?2. I yearn for a city bustling with life and opportunities. Can you recommend a metropolis that offers an exciting lifestyle yet is relatively affordable for a young man like me? Preferably somewhere with a vibrant music scene, diverse food options, and abundant job opportunities.3. Lastly, how can I go about making the transition from Sebring to my dream city smoothly? I'm from Sebring so I'm not exactly rolling in dough, so any advice on budgeting, finding affordable housing, or securing a job would be greatly appreciated.
>>34386985Adapt or move
Ive got a beachfront condo in myrtle beach i need a renter for. Myrtle geta a bad rap but I lived there for 3 years and never had a single issue. Its an amazing microcosm and very very fun.Worked for city there and at a weed store1300/m for beachfront condo. Utilities included
Just move to the ymca in Orlando or Tampa until you stabilize
>>34387122Based Peter exposer.>>34386985If you want to go, just go. I went where I wanted to go and now, here I am. Could have planned it but plans do not survive contact with reality. Do what you want to do. You figure out.
>>34392071you're right, waiting on ideal conditions means no most of the time
Is becoming an international school teacher a legitimate career path or just a meme? They get paid 40-50k in China with free rooms and that seems pretty good.
>>34393305I think so yeah, based on what you're saying, seems pretty good.The most important thing to consider is if you really enjoy teaching or not. If you do feel like you have the patience and all, I'd say to go for it.Must be nice to study in an international school... dunno about teaching, though.
>>34393352Have not taught professionally in my life but people say I am a good teacher. I need to get an English degree and a teaching license to go for these jobs so I will find out in about two years.
>>34393361Yeah sounds good man, like I said, if you like to teach, then seems pretty solid IMO, but I don't know much. Maybe you can try to ask a teacher about their own experiences and stuff.In any case, if you do end up following through, I hope things work out well. I wish I could teach, but I get so nervous talking in public I feel like throwing up.Best of luck mang
>>34393305it's probably not a "comfy"/easy job exactly, but a lot of people would kill for itthe most important thing is whether you're passionate about it
>>34393305any essential requirements that you skimmed from looking into that kind of job? i'm about to graduate uni with a teaching degree and would like to hop around a bit, teaching at an international school seems fun. do you know what kind of candidates they look for?
sometimes its my right and sometimes its my left but they just start aching randomly even when I don't touch them or anything and it is kinda dull but it lasts for a while then mysteriously disappears, is it over for me? also the right half of my penis is smaller then the left, like there's 3 penis chambers and my left is kinda big the right is smaller and the one on the underside is soft and small, is that normal or do I need to go see a doctor.
How old are you?
>three penis chambersDo a little MS paint and help us out buddy
here and 20
>>34393246Go see a doctor dude. It might be nothing but better safe than sorry
>>34393996bro I live in america I ca't afford that
How do you find a place to rent in the USA? What steps are needed for that? What financial info do I need to provide? Do I need credit score or work history?What items should I buy before moving? Is there any thing else I need to know?I am in west Virginia area.
Google apartments, townhouses, and other things for rent near you. You might consider section 42 for cheaper rent. Your requirements to rent can be specified by management, so get those pulled together.
>>34386962google "first time renter advice"
>>34387564Don't some places need SSNs?
>>34386962Bump
I’m a land lord I mostly only turn people down if they have a criminal record (disregarding petty shit and DUIs) or a history of not paying their bills. If you have any charisma at all and can talk to people in a way that makes them feel like you are responsible and a good dude that goes a long way.
Is this too much baggage? I asked my gf her body count and she said the following1 - One night stand lost virginity in High school (he invited her over while his parents were away to hookup, didn't meet again after)2 - Hooked up with a guy she knew in High school after graduating3 - Boyfriend of several years4 - One night stand had sex 3 times with the guy same night - met for drinks, then back to his hotel. They met a couple times again when he was back in town.5 - BJ no sex with one guy6 - BJ no sex with another guy7 - Me
>>34394946Not into. She said she already tried it with her ex anyway.
>>34383803Then be a virgin dumbfuckMen want pure chaste cum receptacles but they don't want to keep it in their pants Fucking hopeless retards
>>34394963Let her sit on your face.
>>34394975Have you ever considered that men and woman aren't the same? Women get the ick at virgins.
>>34395009Not really
I'm 19f and i'm gonna kill myself. I already have a method in mind. I'm gonna kill myself mostly bc there's nothing i like about myself, and i have no way of changing that. I've already have tried multiple times but it's my nature, I guess. I wish i could see the future and what's coming afterwards, but doing this now seems like the best decision in my life. I wish i could have been a better person, i wish i could have made friends, and there's many more things i wish had happened, but none of that mattersMy suicide has no ideological meaning behind it. I'm not in a cult, i don't follow any politics. Nothing! I think humanity is good after all, and i hope someone who is reading this does something to help someone. I hope that my death will at least motivate someone to do good around them. Go work with the homeless, donate your old clothing to a shelter. Help the helpless, shelter the homeless, feed the hungry, all that stuff. I hope all of you have a great life. Please love everybody. If i was close to any of you, i believe someway, somehow, we will meet again. Until then, be nice to everybody on this planet. Lots of love!
>>34391965I'm 23 a nd a virgin too, suck my dick and balls too please
>>34391081>I've already have tried multiple timesAnd you will fail again. And again. And again. And you will keep failing every time you try, until you realise you aren't competent enough to organise a suicide. And at that point you'll realise you have no choice but to live, and you have to try to find some way to deal with that uncomfortable reality.
>>34391081>I'm 19f and i'm gonna kill myself.No you aren't. People who actually succeed in killing themselves just quietly get on with it. They don't come on here looking for attention.
>>34391081You are not done because your post is full of lies. You are pretending, not speaking the truth.You still have to learn to be honest to yourself, and it will take some more years, or never.Good luck.
>>34391081There's like 1 in a million chance that you will actually off yourself (failed "attempts" don't count).
