I am 21I have never really had a friend in my life. After first meeting people talking then exchanging contact information, I end up never talking to them again. I can't think of anything I could say to them to continue the relationship. Social anxiety may be the cause but I don't feel anxious around strangers. I'm not really sad about that any more I've leaned to be happy enough by myself and I talk to strangers every so often to fulfil social needs. I just feel like I'm missing out because most people have friends and they seem to enjoy being around them. Being a friend would nice I think need to lean how to stay in contact and text people to make friends. I think being able to read lots of peoples messages between their friends would help, but I couldn't find anything like that.Any advice is appreciated :)
>>34455271Did you have some specific activity to do when you were with these people? Or did you just exchange information and then wait for them to call you?Trust in people that are at first strangers develops slowly over time and you need a specific reason to get together. This is why people have clubs and activity groups. It’s the best way to get to know other people. No one is going to hang around with another stranger for no reason.
>>34455513>No one is going to hang around with another stranger for no reason.Now that you say it. I'm a bit retarded>need a specific reason to get togetherI don't do activities with people. don't really have any interests, I only go on trips to places because it's supposed to be healthy and so my family doesn't think I'm depressed when I talk to them. Clubs/activity groups have always felt awkward to me because it feels like paying for friends. This is prob a personality issue of mine that I have improve. It seems like my main problem is lack of interests. How do you develop interest when everything I do feels so boring?
you just love hurting me don't you
The fortune cookie I got in January told me to stay true to myself no matter what, so that's what I'm going to do.
Holy fuck I finally understand how it feels when an old ex is like a sibling or something and you get to bully them relentlessly but also connect deeply because you both experienced the chaos of life while trying to find yourselves together. My ex and I got to the point that we were just sharing memories and shit. A lot of it reminded me of who I was, how far I've come, what I still have left to achieve.
>>34458893I dont know you. I play with schizos.
>>34458903Cookies are my god
How do I prevent myself from getting an erection when in the presence of a sexy girl?I know this may sound like a ridiculous question but I want to be able to have this ability in times when I don't want an erection.
Take SSRIs
>>34451173Ummm.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................... No.
>>34445576Erection good
>>34455395Yes!
>>34445576Pinch your own skin with your nails, extremely forcefully.
Gf wants me to get a vasectomy and honestly I think about doing it a lot. We dont want kids. i have enough stuff wrong with me that the next person down the line would resent being born, and my gf would probably die trying to give birth anyways.I spoke with some of my other female friends and theyre all saying that i should get the vasectomy instead of making gf alter her body. Weighing pros and cons... vasectomy would be easier and way cheaper than having my gf go on birth control or get some other procedure done. Its not intended to be reversable but idrc bc i dont want to have kids ever. I guess im making this post because theres still a part of me thats scared to go through with the procedure.Have any of u gotten a vasectomy?
>>34450489just kill yourself at that point
>>34455006If you pronatalists love children so much, lead by example by raping and impregnating every woman in sight.
>>34455006I didn't say existence is immoral. I said reproduction is immoral.
>>34454930No, I believe that God exists. Just not the Abrahamic or Karmic gods. I'm God.
>>34450489how old are you
More often than not, around acquaintances and people I don't know, I don't know what to talk to them about if we don't share interests or know other people. Also conversation with people I don't know well in general causes my head to go blank and ruining any chance of a conversation. How do I fix this?
>>34453734As much as I hate to say 'just be yourself', in cases such as these, it is what it is. There is a reason why she might like you, after all, so in principle, if you stay on course and act as you usually do, it should be alright.But in terms of dates and stuff, it's usually a good moment to learn more about the other person, so enjoy the moment, do some fun activity together, talk about it, get to know the things she likes or dislikes, her opinions and thoughts, how she's faring, things like that. Also talk a bit about yourself, commentate on the things she says, etc.Good luck mang, don't stress about it too much
>>34453793That makes sense to a point, but I actually fainted because I ran out of things to talk about with someone during conversation after like 5 minutes and I couldn't think of anything.
>>34452890>people I don't know, I don't know what to talk to them100% normal and universal. It would be a bit unusual if you COULD chat easily with total strangers.
>>34453878This >>34453920. It's normal to feel like you don't have anything to say to someone you don't know. There are some people who are extremely talkative with everyone, but most other people only feel comfortable speaking with people they feel that share interests and stuff.For example, the only friend I had in college. Neither me nor them were very talkative. One day I looked at their notebook screen during a presentation, and I saw an icon for a game I played. After the presentation I was a bit nervous but decided 'screw it, im just gonna do it' and asked them about it, and ever since that moment we became friends.What I mean by this rambling is that sometimes it just takes a little something to get the conversation going.
Bump
>homeshooled pastors kid virgin>grow up relatively normal but starved for human affection esp with women>go to large uni>work hard to develop social skills/social circle>junior and senior year: fuck 20+ girls>hookups sometimes, constant 1-3 month relationships>see them everywhere>memories of them randomly hit me like pts flashbacks>past few days unresolved emotions from 5 different relationships hit me like a truck>they haunt me like ghosts>feel like im going insane>what to do?
My girlfriend of three years just dumped me out of nowhere. I sincerely received no reason whatsoever as to why she decided to end things with me, besides really vague and cliche reasons. How do I avoid something like this happening again? Maybe im autistic or old fashioned, but I literally cannot understand loving someone for 3 entire years and then one day just decide youre bored/not in love anymore. I cant, I was just as in love in the final day of our relationship as I was in the beginning. I think getting dumped with no reason other than "I dont love you anymore" is worse than if there was something to fix. If it turned out I was too dumb, poor, toxic, etc, those are things I could fix. How the fuck do I fix something random?
>>34455388>"a middle class girl will go for a poor dude every single time" sound like an exaggeration even for hustle life scammers who try to sell you that you can bang a millionaire heiress if you pay for their course, you gotta be kidding if you actually believe thatI believe it because I've lived it and seen it happen so many times throughout my life. Remember I'm not a statistic thinker, I only rely on my lived experiences to inform me.>I'm starting to believe that you're making this all up and you don't actually leave your room.Would you prefer if we compare dicks and size up our portfolios of how many women we've been with respectively? Or would you refuse that in favour of number crunching and statistics data?>does it happen all the time and do they reject middle class guys every single time if a poor dude is there? not even close, not even close enough to say "every single time" was a literary license.What does it matter if I used literary licence? Did you forget you posed to me a hypothetical involving a woman choosing between two suitors who both had the exact same personality and/temperament? And you're ruffled because I didn't treat your unrealistic hypothetical realistically in my response?
>>34455390>worst part is they think everyone should adhere to their weird idea of class and their fantasies about poor people working directly for rich people fixing things up and stuff, it's all very childishIt's the middle classes who deal in class fantasy. Every single cartoonist or satirist or class propagandist is typically some spectacled middle class guy with too much time on his hands. And every time the middle class fantasist assumes the role of a social justice type, saviour of the poor working class morons below him lol
>>34455404you did not tell me how old are youall your opinions sound very young and naiveyou being a decent poor dude who can get rich girls wet from time to time doesn't deny that that is not a common occurenceit's as if I said "every guy from my country is left handed" because me and a couple of my friends are left handedthat's just stupid, your personal experience is one thing but your personal experience doesn't deny reality, your statement sounded like you tried to extrapolate a single weird outlier experience and make it the common denominator, that doesn't work like thatsame about your class opinions, very childish and informed on very little experience.I'd tell you to read more as most people gain knowledge from reading but you seem to deny reality and only rely on your weird personal life experiences to judge the worldsee, this is the kind of bullshit we have to put up all the time when dealing with poor people, do you think someone rich would care to explain this all to you in detail? you'd be fired and replaced in a blink without receiving any paymentit's funny you think rich people would even spoke to you guys, much less hire you directly, you're all so deluded and maybe because you have so little education have your own idiosyncratic ideas about the world, people get paid to deal with that shit.
>>34455512>I'd tell you to read more as most people gain knowledge from reading but you seem to deny reality and only rely on your weird personal life experiences to judge the worldBooks are written by people who actually had a life and lived it. Books are someone else's "weird personal life experiences" on page. If you can't understand that then you need to rethink a few things. Example: A man can read 1,000 books about tree felling or rock climbing. But it won't matter, because unless he has actually done that through experience the man has the knowledge of someone who reads zero books. Experience is the primary font of knowledge. If this were not true, you'd have no books to read. Because those who lived an experience had lived it and then wrote their books. Not the other way around. >do you think someone rich would care to explain this all to you in detail? you'd be fired and replaced in a blink without receiving any paymentThe rich person wouldn't be a smug one pretentious to begin with. We'd just get on with life. Working classes have a reason to get up out of bed, to avoid poverty. Upper classes have a reason, to maintain their financial empires. Middle classes? Who fucking knows. Probably to read books all day
>>34455512>>34456474And if you walk away thinking middle classes aren't the ones obsessed with class, hit ctrl + f to search the thread. Search the word "class". Then tell me who brought up class in the first place. Anyway thread got derailed, the point I am trying to convey is a woman is a woman is a woman. Class doesn't change 300+ thousand years worth of sex psychology out of the female just because humans formed a middling class in the past 3 centuries.
So like is hypergamy a desirable trait in women?What's the difference between that and gold digging?
>So like is hypergamy a desirable trait in women?Hypergamy isn't a trait, it's female nature (at least, in today's sexually selective society.) >What's the difference between that and gold digging?Gold digging = being with a man primarily for his money.Hypergamy = constantly on a lookout for a better option (can be genetics like taller man, better looking man etc.) Hypergamy can include gold digging, but not vice versa.
>>34455956Or how about like... you know... a man with a good personality?
>>34455002hypergamy isn't about money
>>34455985"Personality" is hogwash. Your "personality" is determined by your attractiveness (i.e. your looks and height). Trying to develop a "good personality" is squandering your efforts on someone who doesn't give a fuck about you.
>>34456321lmao typical 4chan bullshit
Can a genuinely based guy (one who introduced me to red pill) genuinely just be immoral and cheat on you online and watch porn because he’s self sabotaging? Can a based guy recover from this and become a better person whilst in a relationship?> I don’t want to go into too much detail >My partner said that he was gonna kill himself and talked to girls online because he was self sabotaging and being a piece of shit and didn’t care about himself anymore, said he didn’t deserve me>he did this at the beginning of our relationship, stopped, did it again in the middle, stopped, then did it once more recently , but it wasn’t cheating (that I know of) he was watching stuff on social media>he said that he’s in love with me but was getting “manipulated” by stuff and people>he’s deleted all social medias but now he just seems like he hates his life as all he does is work and talk to me plus family and friends >are guys actually happy being monogamous and not watching porn?>should I throw it all away? I keep trying to break up then sometimes he says fine and starts planning to but sometimes he begs me to stay also I love him>yes, he is very smart and based but sometimes has misinformation >he has trauma >there is a large age gap>I am very confused about if I’m being taken advantage of or if he’s genuinely just a struggling man>it doesn’t feel like we connect on a deeper level anymore, maybe because trust has been broken and I’m constantly questioning him about odd behaviors with his phone, like history always being wiped or no browser pages open.>gifts are always low effort and never much thought put into them…>his excuse is that he’s clumsy and doesn’t have an aesthetic sense Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34456304If you are dating someone then porn usage should not be a thing. It's cheating. Takes a single communication to say it's not okay.
>>34456469He has totally eliminated it (so he says) for a while now, I just don’t know if I should trust him still~ he also just acts kind of cold and distant? Almost feels like he’s lying to me and can’t connect on a deeper level. I don’t know how else to explain it. Things just feel off.. I’ve always been right about my gut feelings.
>>34456358I’m also scared I’m not going to find someone like him, he’s really smart and knowledgeable and he does a lot for me now but I can’t seem to shake what he did before, I have a really hard time trusting him and it keeps nagging me. Then he gets mad at me for questioning him and not trusting him.
>>34456470He is either honest or not. Had he lied to you before? Has he snuck around on his or your device? Has he been manipulative? Any of those and it's cooked and you are better off moving in while you are still young, be with a real man and not pollute yourself more with this boy. The longer you pollute yourself the less likely you will get to be with the best possible man next.
>>34456304TldrNeither of you are based
Feel like gradually, throught my life I changed as a person. Can't say I'm the same from the one I was from 2 years ago. However, I really need a drastic change of view. What's the easiest way of achieving that?
Well, I understand your lWell, I understand your I am really happy that you are processing a lot day by day as a person as giving changes for the better even in your own decision-making, we always change you are right about it because every decision and new way of thinking that we make is a new change
You can tell yourself you are different but the fact is you are the same. A lot of that mentality you have is cope and self soothing to escape accountability
>>34455916>Can't say I'm the same from the one I was from 2 years ago. However, I really need a drastic change of view.Pressure makes diamonds. You don't change until you need to.This sounds counterintuitive, but put yourself in a situation that creates stress and forces you to change yourself to account for the situation.Don't expect change to happen on its own either, you must be willing and receptive to change.
>>34456209>You can tell yourself you are different but the fact is you are the same>A lot of that mentality you have is cope and self soothing to escape accountabilityAre you the same from 10 years ago?20?Accountability is recognizing what you did was wrong, and changing yourself to never do it again.People who do not acknowledge what they did was wrong, and hold themselves accountable, never change.Yes, there are people who know what they did was wrong, but don't change. They didn't HOLD themselves accountable. That's the difference.
>>34456318Yes , I stand by what I said. Unfortunately others attempt to incite the narrative that there is a drastic change for their own advantages and manipulations. The truth is >You can tell yourself you are different but the fact is you are the same. A lot of that mentality you have is cope and self soothing to escape accountability
We choose to incur more risk, not because we are brave, but because we are bored
The only thing to fear is a recursive fear of fear.
>>34455524And yet almost everyone ends up losing in the long term due to irrational risk aversion.
Advice for dating a baddie? >BPD>Daddy issues>Drug problems>Alcohol>Tattoos and piercings>Rebellious >Fake nails>Extremely fucking loyal
>>34447594>>Extremely fucking loyalYou can really tell who hasnt had a girlfriend before.
>>34447594Don't do what I do and spend 3 years living through BPD hell just because she's hot and the sex is the best you ever had.
>>34447594>>Extremely fucking loyalIf she actually has BPD, no she isn't
>>34447939There is no treatment for BPD
>>34455716This, but 10 years and ended in discard/ghosting
I have posted about this before but I'm still obsessed. Do you think it is possible to regain one’s innocence? Especially after viewing porn or having sex. I just want to forget all of it.
>>34456366that's not what innocence means at alleven if you become a voluntary at a shelter, if you've seen what humans are capable of during war, that innocence is lost, there's no going backinnocence is a one way street
>>34456361You're mentally disabled. No, you are not a 5 year old and you shouldn't try to be.Are you christian? Do all christians want to act like they are underage?
>>34456361You can't be virtuous without the knowledge of vice. Innocence can only come from having the freedom to choose evil, while choosing only good. A child isn't innocent or morally upright, just incapable.
>>34456389You're confusing innocence for ignorance. Knowledge is a one way street, but more knowledge is always a good thing. Even knowledge of evil merely teaches you to be more compassionate and caring. You can't get your ignorance back, but you can always strive towards perfect gentleness and love for all life. That's what it means to be innocent.
>>34456361You never had innocence in the first place. Nothing was lost. Only naivete. Although you're still naive. You can only be innocent when there is both innocent and guilty to define the thresholds of what is innocent and what is guilty. Your definition of guilty is flawed, hence your definition of innocent is also flawed, by association. Hence you operate on false premises.
How do you start talking to someone you've been in class with for almost a year now? I want to actually start talking to people. But idk how to start a conversation. Especially if it's a girl. If I randomly go up to a girl in my class and talk won't they think I'm trying to hit on them or something?
>>34452694Just ask the person if they want to go out! It's really simple and if it doesnt turn out well the person is a DICKHEAD and you dont need to spend time with them
>>344549721. I don't want to2. Even if I did want to go out with any of the girls, if they said no I would still have to be in class with them. It would turn extremely awkward.
>>34454035They know who I am. I've spoken to them before very little.But only when I was forced to do groupwork with them.
>>34452694>How do you start talking to someone you've been in class with for almost a year now?I remember, I was really into a girl at highschool. Incredibly slender, short, beautiful.So, I decided to send many people (indvidually, of course) an email of some shitty knock-knock tier joke, that conveniently was also sent to herShe thought it was funny.Then I replied and used that as a way to start talking to her (eg. "Wow! You're the first person who laughed at that, blah blah blah"). Which then became in person chatsWe became close friends and now have been dating for over 4 years.It just takes confidence and charisma, desu.
>>34456309>It just takes confidence and charismaTrue, but that's the hard part.
> be me> middle class kid, relatively normal life> meet quiet introverted girl> lowkey intellectual, insane music taste> she shows me new genres, aesthetics, whole different worldview> suddenly everything I liked before feels shallow> fall in love like an idiot> later find out the full lore> she used meth> even knew how to make DMT> dated a dealer/methhead before I met her> that guy ends up going to prisonComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34451499I won't read a be me thread because it indicates a hopelessly disorganized mind so nothing can be done.
>>34451499some people are just like that, not much to be donesometimes you see someone's life and say "yeah, that poor kid had no chance"but other times it's just like that, people are prone to do weird shit sometimes, they don't feel ok with their normal reality to say somethingI tried to date a cute girls some 15 years ago and a short while after the came out as a lesbianok, a big loss but at least she's still cuteslowly over the years she became a transvestite, would dress and act like a dudeeventually transitionedshe was actually cute, slender, sweet face, cute body, nice ass, all the packageshe now looks like a drug dealer of cheap drugs, terrible choice of clothes and fashion as a manin my country going full transexual is social death so it might as well be a death sentenceshe had it all as a girl and here we are, she now looks like one of those dudes you see on a vice documentary.
dude i'm so sorry
>>34451499This sounds made up. Because if what you say is true then this fictional person will have been responsible for the deaths of thousands of people.
>>34455831she hasn't murdered anyone (not that i know of), but she deals mdma/lsd/psychedelics/cocaine in large quantity. i'm talking 200kg~ at a time.
