>Be me, 23, male>Very autistic, very neurotic, very ugly and kind of a wuss>Always fat, terrible at sports>Basically, that classic hollywood nerd stereotype>Lonely and isolated since early childhood>Mom was overcaring, overprotective and always treated me like a baby>Dad was emotionally absent even tho we always lived together>Older sister was condescending and also Infantilized me just like mom>Had no friends until I was like 16 years old>Being chronically alone for so much time gave me a ton of anxiety and low self-esteem>Flashbacks of me spending my "greatest years" completely isolated all by myself keep replaying in my head 24/7>At family gatherings, I would spend all day alone while having to watch all my older cousins playing together without me >In school, the same thing would happen, all kids would have their own groups of friends while I would always be alone>Even when I am invited to social occasions, I always feel left out and like the odd one out.>Can't fit within any group, and I don't identify with anything>Can't bond with females because I find them boring and kind of annoying.>Can't bond with males because I am not strong, confident, cool or macho enough to be accepted by them>Relationships are out of the question, both because of my horrible appearance and because of my terrible social skills>I was kind of a gifted kid in school but thanks to depression caused by loneliness I lost all interest and motivation to study>ended up as an underachieving loser>No college degree, no career, no hobbies, no talent>Tried going to the gym, but my social anxiety was so overwhelming that I felt like I was naked at a stageI'm starting to lose all hope. Why can't I just be normal? How can I overcome this social isolation that I had for such a long time?How can I stop being stuck in my past and finally be able to go forward?
>>32619101unironically suck it up. wait and eventually you'll find an activity where you can hook up with cool people who dont mind talking, it helps with the craving for social activities.
>>32619101Don’t be afraid, John.Do not rebuke yourself, and do not forsake your own long-suffering. You are not supposed to let go of the past. Because if you let go of the past, you cannot truly enjoy the glory of the metamorphosis of your character; the rarifying of your soul. You carry the cross, John. You take your past and you carry it with you, on the long road to Heaven. Then you will always know the measure of how far you have come, how much stronger you have become. It will be hard, as all good and righteous things are in this life. But as God as my witness, you will not trade that passion for anything else in the world. Keep going, even though the night is dark. Keep your lantern lit, and your feet firmly planted and grounded and slowly move, inch by inch. Some times you get to high places, you must start in the lowest of depths first. God bless you, John.
>>32619101>No college degree, no career, no hobbies, no talentDo you have a job?
>>32619101You might feel like you're the only person in the world like this, but your autistic experience is incredibly common here and has been discussed at length regularly on this board for years.Search the 4plebs /adv/ archive for a fuckton of discussion and advice on exactly this topic.
Just give up. This isn't just pessimistic shitposting. Your circumstances will never get better unironically. The only thing that can change is your ability to cope with it. If you don't find that particularly appealing (and believe me I wouldn't blame you), genuinely consider suicide as it's the only way out. I'm in the same boat as you and I'm probably going to go that route eventually, if not soon. I'm not trying to demoralize you, just telling you the truth.
>>32619101you could get a virtual reality headset and practice talking on vr chat
you are aloneyou will always be aloneeven with otherswe are all bound to our headsno amount of "socialization"will be the cure that you seekall your problems are thoughtscomparing yourself to othersget over yourselfpussy
Damn, im a 23 year old male too and experienced 80% of what you saidAll you need to know is that you are not the only one - that is all that matters. We are all in this together anon and it can only get better from here on out.
you express your dreamyet what you want is what you've gotsurely not romance, surely not strengthstood at a crossroadstwixt sighs and changestay awake, stay the sameor fall asleep, free your shame
>>32619101Are you sad that parts of LA just burned down?No, you are not.Are you angry at Putin for having invaded Ukraine?No, you are not.Do you realize if you wanted, you COULD feel sad or angry about these? By the same token, you can opt to just not give a shit about stuff you currently feel sad about./. Try it. Just stop caring. Fake that feeling till you really don't care anymore. Just ignore your past. Ignore how "lonely" and "weird" you are.Then, as a kind of unrelated concept which is however greatly aided by the first point: you just need to do stuff. You have to force yourself. You tried going to the gym. You failed. So try again. If you fail again, just try again.You need to realize nothing will ever change in your life otherwise. There will not come some future magical point where things will be fixed. You are not an anime with a written out drama plot. You are not some live-service game that will one day receive an update. Your parents cannot help you with this.You will not one day wake up with a "fixed, healthy" mindset. If you are an adult then the mind you have right now is the only one you will ever have, for the rest of your life.If you do not actively undertake the tasks you want to engage in, nothing will ever change. The tasks will not happen without you.
>>32619101start going to therapy, then start working on your problems. A lot of what you said can be fixed but its going to take some time.>Tried going to the gym, but my social anxiety was so overwhelming that I felt like I was naked at a stageThis is a good start and you should try doing it again. Social anxiety is just fear. And how you deal with fear is by facing it, its what people call "exposure therapy". The problem is that the fear mixes with all the other beliefs that you have about yourself and makes it impossible to face it. Thats where a therapist can help you.
>>32619101Exercise at home pushups pullups, walking running cycling.As for public spaces, realize that no one will even remember your existence in 30 Minutes unless you do something unbelievably retarded and massive like throwing a dummbbell at a mirror full strength.
>>32620286Thanks, I'm not going to do it anymore out of spite
>>32620603This is actually really helpful, thanks man.
>>32621981The thing is: I know that people on the gym don't care about me but I still fell bad anyway. The main problem I have with the gym (and most public spaces but especially the gym) is that I can't stop comparing myself to everyone else and using it as ammunition to put myself down. It's like I have a bully living inside my head.
>>32621185I tried therapy 2 times but I couldn't manage to fully open up to the therapist. I've always kept secrets from them for fear of being judged.I've been on antidepressants for a while and they worked well during some time but now it feels like they're not doing anything anymore.
>>32619126Father Garcia :)
>>32620603What if we keep failing until we die?
>>32623485I know how that feels. It's scary. You can try a different one but you probably will just need to be brave
>>32623478there will always be better people, what you need to compare against is your past self
>>32625056I'm waay less cringe than I was before, and I'm also a little bit more sociable. But when it comes to looks I'm basically the same I was at 14. I feel like I still look (and think) like a teenager in middle school.
