[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


Crypto payment is now available for self-serve ad campaigns


[Advertise on 4chan]

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively. This includes Discord server threads!

File: 1125px-No_selfies.svg[1].png (64 KB, 1125x1024)
64 KB
64 KB PNG
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

>>>/soc/

why the fuck hasn't anyone made the fucking thread yet edition
last: >>74105041
230 replies and 31 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>74132331
This uncannily sounds like something I would write...
>>
>>74132331
>c-can you post a vocaroo? I would love to hug and house you but I'm ugly and poor :(
https://voca.ro/1nmiqCAbnNCD
:DDDDD
>>
*sigh* bratty twink hours...
>>
I'm too closeted to be gay.
>>
I'm too gay to be closeted

File: 1688383300493555.png (15 KB, 149x216)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND HAVE BORING HOBBIES!
>ask guy what his hobbies are
>likes video games, anime is on Crunchyroll/Netflix, white guy 4 hour video essays, D&D, MAYBE lifting if you're lucky
Every fugging time.
Why do moids have no self-awareness?
218 replies and 26 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
All this moid seethe hehe
>>
>>74129366
most people in general are boring (you) (the person reading this) included. everyone likes to pretend that they're into complex topics and the things that they like are hella deep or whatever, when really they're just hobbies that they happen to have. this isn't specific to men or women or people of any specific group, as much as retarded trabalists would try to tell you otherwise. i think a more worthwhile way of judging people is if their hobbies are interesting to you, trying to assign some sort of objective deepness to subjects is pointless labeling.
>>
>>74132218
Certain hobbies have a higher prestige than others. For example,I think we can all agree that doing woodworking has a higher prestige than scrolling on tiktok all day. You may not be interested in that hobby, but woodwoking is a productive activity that can also make you money but being a CONSOOMER wont do that .
>>
>>74132266
I like woodworking but you would have to be very good at it to make money from it, and that requires a lot of materials
>>
>>74129434
Yeah, the evidence is women.

i think femanons should personally apologize to us for not having big luscious jiggly titties

File: 63652.jpg (41 KB, 720x720)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
Has anyone here recorded their voice? Just did in a call and jesus fucking christ i want to end my life right now.

I sound like a walking zombie, absolutely devoid of any joy in my voice, the fact that nobody has asked me if I have clinical depression or suicidal plans is just a proof that nobody gives a flying fuck about me.
12 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>74132225
>>74132158
>>74132144
>>74132137
>>74132103
>>74132084
>>74132062
>>74132060
Post vocaroos NOW!
>>
>>74132013
I sound like I belong at weenie hut jr's
>>
>>74132242
You'll make fun of me for having a redneck accent
>>
>>74132013
I sound like Patrick from Spongebob.
>>
>>74132242
Not doing it unless someone else does it first lol

File: vKqauYk.png (305 KB, 1702x1483)
305 KB
305 KB PNG
>Never forget Whites have the lowest levels of Testosterone
>>
File: hu-tao-genshin-impact.gif (1.62 MB, 451x498)
1.62 MB
1.62 MB GIF
>>74132375
>blacks dont have seed oils
>>
>>74132375
>Never forget Whites have the lowest levels of Testosterone
>graph clearly shows that whites had some of the highest testosterone levels not even a century ago

A peak white man on a good diet beats everyone else, shit bait.

File: 1683082103436586.jpg (19 KB, 284x283)
19 KB
19 KB JPG
Anyone else here a handsome virgin? I think some okay looking girls have liked me but I never had to confidence to do anything about it before they moved on.
>>
>>74132332
i was told i have a nice shirt once. that girl ended up becoming my oneitis and it ended horribly. does this count?

File: frog.jpg (91 KB, 976x834)
91 KB
91 KB JPG
it's so fucked up how employer npcs would sooner hire a piece of shit druggie felon covered in tattoos than a neet
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>74131987
I was a NEET for around 25 years, never worked a job until I got hired this year at 28. I literally just showed him my portfolio and took an technical interview, passed, and now im making 84k a year.

As long as you were doing something constructive while NEETING instead of just rotting in your room you should be fine.

Unfortunately, I suspect most NEETs just rot away jerk off and do literally nothing with the free time they get.
>>
>>74131987
Good. Fuck NEETs, kek
>>
>>74131987
Piece of shit druggie felon is probably more personable and more relatable to normals than a neet. The deal breaker for most neets on this board is that they're completely alien to the general culture of society. That's what makes us robots.

The caveat is neets on HERE. Plenty of "neets" turn their lives around but these guys were still involved in general society in some form. I.e. hood blacks, excessive partying roasties, mild drug addicted early 20s problem children, etc.
>>
>>74132319
this, I managed to get a job even though I was neet for 3 years. Normie culture is just completely alien to me. I don't understand it, I reek of not understanding it though I have learned to keep my cringey bullshit to myself back in HS. Now I'm seen as gruff and unfriendly. No one likes me and they all talk behind my back. socially it feels like I'm back in HS.
>>
>>74131987
>would sooner hire a piece of shit druggie felon covered in tattoos than a neet
A lot of people don't know this, but the gubbernmint pays employers to hire piece of shit druggie ex felons. so even though most of them are trash, the government money helps offset their uselessness

File: sb.jpg (756 KB, 840x1120)
756 KB
756 KB JPG
thread for discusions about self harm and mutual support

Heyo :D
>How are you doing today
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you now
24 replies and 17 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Sorry for the late reply
>>74131320
>what kind of treatment
I'm looking for a total reprogramming, I have way too many problems for just a single trick to work
>do you think you can handle it?
I think so, but not everything works as well as it does in my mind
>>74131433
>isn't it quite the procedure to migrate to another country?
I was planning on staying with a visa
>do you have any prospects for a job over there
Not really, I'm trying to sort out my mental health before I get into employment or education
>>
File: huggy_3.jpg (60 KB, 599x857)
60 KB
60 KB JPG
>>74131115
Oi sludge also
I wanna congratulate you on finding a way to deal with your manic episodes
good job ^^

I couldn't reply yesterday because I went to sleep sry

btw what kind of chips are your favorite?
>>
File: luv_u.jpg (41 KB, 483x483)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
>>74132063
>Sorry for the late reply
don't worry ^^
I'm not sure how to help you but I hope you have a good life whatever you do
>>
>>74132118
Thank you, /cat/
>>
File: nikoCry1.jpg (15 KB, 243x286)
15 KB
15 KB JPG
Only really my second ever post on 4chan honestly, but does anyone ever get attached to someone and you and them hit it off great (like holy cow they're awesome) then somehow the relationship just burns to the ground and you are left sitting in the ashes eyes stinging from the smoke and choking to breath, not knowing how it happened or why? I want to approach them about it but dont know how?
I want to approach them about it but they'll likely just say theyve been busy, but theres a stout difference between now and those first weeks/months.
I feel like I may even be the problem here somehow... Even if I am though, I'd be fine with that.. I just wish they would tell me

File: IMG_2246.jpg (103 KB, 298x392)
103 KB
103 KB JPG
I got high for the first time and I never want to experience it again. After 3 days I still feel a tiny bit stoned. I thought I was trapped in a cage forever. Time had no meaning anymore. I wanted to die. When I eventually woke up, I was 50% baked and still felt trapped and hopeless. How do people do this every day?

File: IMG_20230723_232453.jpg (65 KB, 590x480)
65 KB
65 KB JPG
Hypotetical:
Would any robot ever take me in has his personal slave?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
are you hypothetically cute enough to be my personal slave?
>>
Yeah it'd be convenient to have a cumdump that does all of my chores without worrying about emotional intimacy since I'm really bad at that.
>>
post tummy and I will decide. I literally do have the money. Not even memeing
>>
>>74132391
if you live in toronto and look even close to that, pic in OP. i would sugger daddy desu.
>>
>>74132391
Daddy needs to see that tummy first.

File: IMG_9154.jpg (396 KB, 1536x1947)
396 KB
396 KB JPG
What's the best sex position for an overweight 30year old with erectile dysfunction and a average-small penis?

File: parenting.jpg (154 KB, 726x1195)
154 KB
154 KB JPG
parent hate thread

>parents homeschool me in 2nd grade and onward, and socially isolate me
>control every aspect of my life up to adulthood
>by the time I am an adult I have no skills at all and am socially retarded
>"Why couldn't you be normal?"

I have zero shame or guilt NEETing off these subhumans until one of us dies, or until my efforts I'm making to improve pay off.
42 replies and 8 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>74131892
i was literally forced inside most of the time, so no
>>
File: IMG_6917.png (468 KB, 928x1024)
468 KB
468 KB PNG
>>74130226
I grew up having to bust my ass bailing my family out from their self inflicted dumbassery, I think the word is parentification or some shit, where the kid takes the role of the parent/caretaker/etc. I had to constantly put up with drunken and drug addict bullshit all while doing whatever I could to scrounge up a couple bucks while the risk of foreclosure dangled over our heads, just all sorts of stupid nonsense that should never have even happened but still did anyways, because god forbid people use their goddamned brains for once. I am not as angry as I once was (except for my mother, absolutely despise her), but I have pretty much no patience for anyone in my personal life and do everything I can to be as independent as possible.
>>
>>74130226
Shout out to all the parents who allow their child to watch YouTube and TikTok on the family iPad for 10 hours day, you're terrible.
>>
>>74130333
I don't because I enjoy talking with mentally ill people.
Guess that explains why I talk to myself so much too.
>>
Looking back, realistically, I never had a chance in life. I was born with severe mental health issues. My parents didn't help, their choices only made it worse, which is exactly why I'm a hermit now.

File: 20230723_160949.jpg (474 KB, 1723x1804)
474 KB
474 KB JPG
Do any of u have any cute plushies? I wanna see them, this is my favorite plushie I named him Hamburger!
>>
>>74132285
too lazy to get a picture but I have like two shelved full of plushies and a whole trash bag full of other plushies, I only sleep with 2 occasionally, one penguin that's also like a bit flat so it's a bit of a pillow too and the huge brown ikea bear
>>
>>74132327
Omg I love the IKEA bear it's so cute I night buy one one day lol that's so cool I need to collect more
>>
File: aryan neutralplier.png (16 KB, 600x800)
16 KB
16 KB PNG
>>74132285
BeeBee, is he a gem?
>>
>>74132285
No one cares namefagging whore kill yourself


[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.