[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


We are no longer accepting janitor applications. Thanks to all those who applied!


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: south-korea-travel.jpg (503 KB, 2000x1000)
503 KB
503 KB JPG
Hello robot dudes I am in Korea. AMA
11 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: IMG_7234.png (282 KB, 317x1442)
282 KB
282 KB PNG
Hyper wars never forget.
>>
I really want to teach English in Korea as part of EPIK.

How are you finding day to day life? Getting around on trains/buses without knowing the language? It's my biggest fear for not applying yet
>>
>>37376006
Are you gonna try out the totally rad plastic surgery there? I heard it's the bombu.comu
>>
>>37376026
I visited some of the ancient battlegrounds last month. The Undying Javelin is even bigger than it looks in pictures
>>37376032
Don't do it, if you want to teach english in Asia do it in Japan. It's way more beautiful and interesting
>>
>>37376178
EPIK was a backup anyway. My main goal is to go with JET and teach English in Japan.

My question still stands though: How do you actually get around and do your day to do day shit without knowing the language?

File: 1493414913365.jpg (1.7 MB, 3877x2823)
1.7 MB
1.7 MB JPG
The overnight watch failed edition
326 replies and 47 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: e16.png (468 KB, 510x561)
468 KB
468 KB PNG
>>37375863
s-should I think of you when washing my balls?
>>
>>37376120
dont fall for the washing meme, carry on smelly brother
>>
>>37376068

I was a NEET from 2006-2010 so I feel like I'm allowed.
>>
File: pyrt4.png (415 KB, 636x359)
415 KB
415 KB PNG
>>37376120
I guess you can if it helps senpai~
>>
>>37375885
How'd it go for you?

I made a post about "haha I lost lots of weight guys : O" and "been a long time since I posted..." It was actually not too bad, got 14 likes, but I have no idea what to do now.

Life would be so much easier as a normie with tons of friends and connections to walk you through this shit. IT'S NOT FAIR REEEEE

File: 1493165946972.jpg (17 KB, 480x308)
17 KB
17 KB JPG
ITT: We post unbelievable true facts about ourselves
>I own a rare printing-error copy of Ulysses
>my dad trains animals for film and worked on the Air Bud movies
>I accidentally killed my best friend in 2nd grade
>I've met both Donald Trump and Chris Chan in person
197 replies and 29 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37375900
it's a 5/6 year old image that moot took at comiket

/jp/ anons were waiting by the big saw for the yearly meet and moot stood at the railings above and took a pic, then disappeared back into the crowd before anyone saw him.

I'm sure it's floating in the archive somewhere
>>
>>37370343
You could say that about literally anyone haha. What country are you from?
>>
>>37369343
>Ever since then and until now I get random glimpses of my future. When I see it and experience what I saw when it happens, I get a comfortable cold tingling in my head and body.

You're possessed by a djinn.
>>
>>37375923
That's.... disgusting dude....

>plz more
>>
>>37375923
Is she attractive? How do you parents not know?

File: iloveyouhiggus.jpg (80 KB, 675x1200)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
Serious thread,
why do roasties prey on robots?


Why dont they just use dating apps to get attention instead of hurting robots.

I keep seeing threads of robots being hurt by "fembots" so i was just wondering.
118 replies and 32 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37375920
remember anon sharing is caring
>>
>>37375920
And a fucking smile holy shit, imagine how different she would look if she was smiling in one of her fat pics
>>
File: 1495525252795.png (860 KB, 1829x1644)
860 KB
860 KB PNG
>>37375694
Nothing, we can just talk if you want.
I'm not that scary.

>>37375880
They're not.
OP pic is maro.
2nd pic is lauren
>>
>>37375984
Piety-sama, go to bed already.
>>
File: druid228.png (73 KB, 251x151)
73 KB
73 KB PNG
>>37376054
I didn't do my dailies yet.

File: 1491432074247.jpg (156 KB, 1068x856)
156 KB
156 KB JPG
Describe your perfect partner. Your unicorn, if you will. Include specific quirks and actions you imagine he or she will do to make you happy.
47 replies and 8 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>blue or green eyes
>fair skin
>under 24
>5'7" or shorter
>slim waist
>busty
>feminine voice
>nice teeth (not too yellowed, or many crooked ones)


>agnostic or non-practicing
>pragmatic
>has no interest in orbiters
>wants to be a mother someday
>sees the value in carrying a firearm

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>37375765
I should add I'm not really a 24/7 dom. I like to be a soft caring Daddy sometimes, particularly if I've been rough with you I'd like to pamper you a bit afterwards. Not sure how that'd work for your wants though
>>
>>37375874
>>37375756

Adding to that, it would be nice for someone to actually to be that skeptical without being a /pol/ meming retard just based on the evidence.

I haven't done much research on it because I got way more important things to figure out than proving a historical event wrong that everyone hold as truth and it's better to focus my energy on something but essentially the numbers are a bit exaggerated just like most war statistics and some of the stuff I have seen, even if it's fabricated, makes you question the narrative.
>>
>>37375916
double heck
Sounds cute. That's the ideal thing, ain't it? Cuddles after rough lewds and stuff like that.
>>
>>37375996
Heck yeah it is

Give me your email address.

File: 1479130849912.png (74 KB, 246x236)
74 KB
74 KB PNG
https://www.16personalities.com

>tfw you're INFJ, an isolated idiot but rare
50 replies and 16 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1495501940417.png (88 KB, 604x516)
88 KB
88 KB PNG
>>37376060
well most people do find me as a beta but Im not quite sure that I am a caring person
>>
>>37370890
>INFP

Please kill me. lolriginal
>>
>>37376140
>Im not quite sure that I am a caring person
Do you care about animals?
>>
File: 2dd.jpg (37 KB, 600x600)
37 KB
37 KB JPG
INTP here
How does one approach a cute INFJ grill?
Do all INFJs fit the stereotype of having incredibly high standards and only settling for succesful normies?
P-please respond
>>
>>37376162
not really maybe when I was a kid I cared alot about the pain of others but after that I really dont care about most things.

I still dont like seeing them in pain ofcourse...

File: 354269718.jpg (257 KB, 817x1080)
257 KB
257 KB JPG
Why do men feel entitled to virgins?
Is it because they're bitter that without coercion no women would want them?
They have to be their first so she doesn't feel disappointed
99 replies and 10 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37376067
>Those graphs come from an unreviewed paper commissioned by a religious anti-sex group.
False - they came from the Treacher study AND from the CDC - *AS NOTED IN THE GRAPHIC*. The fact that the Heritage study agrees with the raw data and the NCHS analysis is what is called 'what happens when you are honest'.
>Only provides the raw data
False; the annual analysis is a full study, as are the Treacher study, the Ohio State Marriage Study, etc.
At least pretend you know what you are talking about
>>
File: pleb 3.jpg (81 KB, 622x568)
81 KB
81 KB JPG
>>37376097
Source: The CDC, the NCHS, the OSMS, etc.
>>37376085
>>37376087
projecting this hard
>>
>>37374595
that and it's gross to fuck a hole someone else has already fucked. also virgin cunts are tight.
>>
File: done.jpg (35 KB, 405x405)
35 KB
35 KB JPG
>>37375779
>"Find statistics that prove it!"
>"OK, here are three, with graphics"
>"No! Those are BAD!! Just because the US and the UK official health agencies, Australian, Swiss, and American academics, and multiple meta-analyses all agree, I REJECT those facts because they are BAD!!!"
>>
>>37376148
Projecting what you fucking mongoloid?

File: 1495832347902.jpg (258 KB, 1145x766)
258 KB
258 KB JPG
>walk into your room
>see this

What do you do?
46 replies and 15 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I set her free and offer her a bowl of eggs in these trying times.
>>
>>37375950
>bowl of eggs

confirmed for best taste
>>
>>37371091
I don't know, either free her right away or keep her locked up for decades. There's not much middle ground with something like this
>>
>>37371091
Tickle her navel.
>>
File: 1495951289260.png (502 KB, 449x721)
502 KB
502 KB PNG
>>37371091
Put my dick in a press because I will not sin.

File: circle.jpg (72 KB, 612x314)
72 KB
72 KB JPG
>get to know some people
>become comfortable around them
>they subtly begin testing your masculinity with insults and subtle teasing
>you have to retaliate in order to prove you're not a beta
>if you want to be alpha, you have to escalate

I fucking hate society.
>>
>>37376040
Wtf
youve never been roasted before?
>>
>>37376040
I just act all passive and camp which really winds those kinds of people up.
>>
>he doesn't shrug everything off then save the day with his gun when a nigger walks up an causes a ruckus
>>
>>37376040
rape one of them at gunpoint while the others watch
>>
>>37376040
Idk of that's what it really is like. Because I haven't had friends I hang out with since late elementary school/early middle school. The closest thing I had after middle school was a church youth group. Honestly the social aspect of that is probably what saved me from doing anything extremely reclusive or drastic from middle school to high school. Now that I'm at uni it's back to where I was before that youth group. I literally have no idea what it's like to be in a social circle.

File: sssssssssssfdd.png (32 KB, 540x477)
32 KB
32 KB PNG
Wtf is wrong with roasties.
This basic bitch's husband dies so what does she do? Make a reddit thread about herself and how she's already dating other men after only 4 months.
Worst part is how everyone in the thread tells her she's just sooo brave like she's some kind of fucking war victim.

also roastie hate thread.
52 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37376121
>You don't start forming intimate relationships with other people while you're still recovering from catastrophic loss.
Maybe you don't.
But normal people recovering from harsh realities do.
>>
>>37376121
>But she is? She's just trying to make it seem like she isn't

You should be a psychologist anon

>You don't start forming intimate relationships with other people while you're still recovering from catastrophic loss.

Except, youknow, when you do
>>
>>37376147
>>37376149
>I've never even had a family member die but let me tell you how grieving the unexpected death of a spouse works
Whatever, virgins.
>>
>>37375516

People grieve in different ways. My dad died very suddenly, and two weeks later I went back to university on a different continent, worked my ass off and topped my classes. That doesn't mean I wasn't deeply affected, that was just my way of dealing with it.
>>
>>37376172
>Family member
>Spouse
Pick one

As I'm growing old I realize more and more how there are "things" (ideas, moods,dispositions, hope.,choice.) that are plainly wrong and could only lead to suffering.

back then I use to shun this kind of attitude,beliving that old people were grumpy,deluded o outdated.


Now i began to understand that you painly can't do certain things without having to pay the price.
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37375851
took you what, 40 years to figure out there is social etiquette to how you dress in public? gee dadbot, got any more of these nuggets?
>>
> promisquity will lead to sadness

> despite common opinion men stil hold to value people who can keep their words

> girls actually love conservative/right wing guys unless you are some kind of brainwashed priest or nazi

>yeah even punk girls and swj are just waiting for the prince charming and will take the opportunity

>friends are really gold. When Shit hit the fan only friend will be there for you. If you are broke, if you are left by your gf, if lost your cat...you cannot buy friends
>>
>>37375908

it's not about etiquette, you can do stupid shit but you can't complain on consequence, and often common sense is a weapon.
>>
> learn a COMBAT SPORT. You won't have to defend from terroirst you just wish you can handle a couple of punch if you have to fight in front of someone.
Trust me, thist things will follow you all along your life
>>
> school teach you good, you just don't understand what are you learning.

It's about unfairness, social preference, how to cheat, about not trusting everyone. Looks like a joke , but it's not

File: R14kkDj.png (13 KB, 657x527)
13 KB
13 KB PNG
>be me
>have had pain in ass for a few days
>just now decided to scratch my ass
>find a fucking toenail clipping on the edge of my asshole
>fucker has been digging into my flesh for about 4 days
>>
>>37374714
Post it you fucking faggot

Oreganoli
>>
File: NILLEN_kintosta.png (71 KB, 740x982)
71 KB
71 KB PNG
>>37374714
tkx for the original kek
>>
File: 733251_700b.jpg (46 KB, 499x609)
46 KB
46 KB JPG
>>37374714
how fat are you, anon? also: do you dislike showering?
>>
>>37376154
Seconded
How bad does your ass smell OP?

File: 1493858387058.png (319 KB, 422x509)
319 KB
319 KB PNG
>tfw no friends and no bf
>inb4 you can get a bf reeeeee
Not one who respects me and who I can respect. Not a proper relationship. I can get a hookup easily, certainly. But not a real relationship.
117 replies and 20 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37376114
I'm not short. 5'6" is perfectly average. You don't know who I would and wouldn't date. I've dated disabled and impotent guys. I'd definitely still want to keep my current partner if he somehow became short.
>>
>>37376160
Does he have a huge cock to match his enormous height?
>>
>>37376096
>sex is not evil
Very aware of that.

However, if you're a person in love and you want to avoid having your heart ripped out, it's wise not to engage in anything that might make you feel more attached. For a lot of people, sex qualifies.

And yes, withholding sex is a good way to filter out people who want to use you versus people who want to love you. It's not sex being evil, it's people being selfish.
>>
>>37373730

OUT WOMAN! SAGED
>>
>>37376160
Oh 6 4. I was thinking 6 6 for a second. 6 4 is still very tall.

File: 1493170201125.png (370 KB, 723x1001)
370 KB
370 KB PNG
Any other fembots who are /goofydorks/ ?
>Talking to cute boy on okcupid
>He says he hasn't seen Spirited Away
>Totally dweeb out about it and he doesn't even like anime
He's still going to take me out this weekend tho c:
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>37374715
Yeah you need to have shit in common tho.
>>
>>37374711
Not completely true, actually. The guy I'm dating is the one who got me into lame shit like anime.
>>
Spirited Away sucks ass though.
>>
>>37374632
goofy guys can be cute and fun sometimes but I have zero attraction to them at all.
Though I'm almost totally certain a lesbian when I stop and think about it.
>>
>>37376141
It's one of the few animes that aren't complete trash.


Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.