[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001


Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]



[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: 1125px-No_selfies.svg[1].png (64 KB, 1125x1024)
64 KB
64 KB PNG
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

>>>/soc/

File: 1405961016022.jpg (18 KB, 400x386)
18 KB
18 KB JPG
>Had the girlfriend dream again
Does God enjoy punishing his rejects?
>>
>>48725669
I've had them too
>dream "oh god I've finally made it"
>wake up

File: 153903515509999993.png (1.39 MB, 1000x902)
1.39 MB
1.39 MB PNG
one of these threads :3 bully each other teehehee
171 replies and 80 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 0190919299930.png (1.55 MB, 1305x1305)
1.55 MB
1.55 MB PNG
rate ororororiggy
>>
>>48713936
>Steven Universe
Why
>>
>>48716827
Based hobby, animal, weapon, vidya, food, soft drink, location, instrument, movie and vehicle
>>
>>48718174
Excellent taste in movie
>>
>>48718336
Nice animal, anon
>>48718228
Patrician taste in band

File: 1519131896877.jpg (694 KB, 1600x1114)
694 KB
694 KB JPG
What's the best way to make a woman feel special and loved?
>>
>>48725528
pretend she's your equal and pretend that you care what she has to say
>>
>>48725528
Sucking her tits and call her mommy
>>
>>48725528
>feel special
Make more money then her friend's girlfriends.
>loved
Never need sex expect when she wants it (usually once a month a week before her period)
Or
Get reallly good seats for expensive shows and dont try to initiate sex after.
>>
>>48725528
Anal usually does the trick.
>>
>>48725528
My experience says Ignore her 95% of the time then treat her like a piece of meat in public, grab her ass, talk lishish to her. She will act like you are the greaest thing ever

File: violent cunt.webm (1.65 MB, 270x480)
1.65 MB
1.65 MB WEBM
fuck women honestly
fuck feminists who ruined my games
literally contribute nothing meaningful to society besides vagina
109 replies and 24 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>48725622
patrolled epic style
>>
>>48725622
This looks completely staged.
>>
>>48725622
Is this fake? Like scripted? Because they look like they're playing, then suddenly he's kicking the shit out of her
>>
File: sure buddy.png (344 KB, 464x674)
344 KB
344 KB PNG
>>48725622
>implying that richie rich is going to have a shitty life

LMAO
>>
>>48725622
This is fake as fuck. And gay. Fake and gay.

File: leah100.jpg (767 KB, 1328x996)
767 KB
767 KB JPG
Why dont you have a body pillow?
>cute anime girl to cuddle
>actually a legit night time sleep aid, you wont sleep without one
>cute anime girl to cuddle
>feels great to hug and think of your waifu
Why dont you have one?
8 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>48721759
I want a daki of my waifu but the only non lewd one cost $180. Also I live with my parents.
>>
>>48723222
>and I considering take it in public
Anon no
>>
>>48724482
a plushie would be better for public
>>
>>48723222
you'd get funny looks if you took it outside, but if you dont care then go for it
>>
>>48721759
If you aren't absolutely broke you have 0 reasons of not getting a dakki.
Got pic related a year and a half ago and I can no longer imagine what sleeping without her would feel like.

File: kyoko.jpg (49 KB, 501x670)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
So what's it like having a younger sister? I always wanted one when I was little, until I accepted it was too late.
>>
>>48725459
I make love to mine almost every day.
>>
>>48725803
Wtf. Greentext? Seems like it'd be weird.

File: Femboy.jpg (902 KB, 1160x1544)
902 KB
902 KB JPG
Anon why aren't you on HRT yet? You could not only look cute, but also get a bisexual gf who will appreciate you
10 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
i'm 5'2 nearly 5'3 but i'm not androgynous so that a no go
>>
I've experienced multiple hormone imbalances naturally and shit seriously sucks. A brain without testosterone is fucking miserable.
>>
>>48724999
for me its that same way except with estrogen instead
>>
>>48723678

t. chad

You lucky
>>
File: Spoiler Image (56 KB, 480x309)
56 KB
56 KB JPG
Fags go to >>>/lgbt/

IS it degenerate to find this both hot and cute?
>i just want a girl to cuddle me
12 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>48725470
But why exactly?
Afraid of a little intimacy?
>>
>>48725392
Maintaining an image of masculinity can be difficult, especially these days. I'm sure confiding in someone about what it really feels like would be one of the best supports one could have as an insecure male. Especially knowing that you don't always have to act that way and just b urself in front of your gf.
>>
>>48725494
Not him, but I'd rather pull my nails out with pliers than be in the situation in OP
>>
>>48725404
/thread

All that begins must end.
>>
>>48725808
It's funny that they specifically said they wouldn't leave each other

Look at that, it was in the gentle femdom thread we used to have

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/14818775/#14818808

File: The ideal girl.png (378 KB, 500x780)
378 KB
378 KB PNG
Average is ideal.
>>
that's fat, not average
>>
File: 1527213295189.jpg (116 KB, 453x604)
116 KB
116 KB JPG
>>48725694
>Average is ideal.
I concur
>>
That's not average, stop your psyop right now.
>>
The average fat girl doesn't even look like that. Like you say, she's an ideal.
>>
>be fat but have confidence
>can't stand fat girls
>charmed a few hot chicks into sex including 9/10 chinese girl
>they don't stick around because i'm too fat
>every time I tried to have sex with a fat girl I can't stay hard
>want a steady gf so badly but can't settle for anything less than an 8/10
fml

File: QAOOKyRznW-4.png (27 KB, 300x250)
27 KB
27 KB PNG
>be me, getting out of the shower at night a few months ago
>remember I don't brush my teeth like a good boy enough
>quickly dry off and start brushing my teeth in the nude
>my dick starts getting erect since it's hanging free
>think nothing of it, continue brushing
>keep this up as a habit
>about two months later, I'm doing it again
>this time, I get hard before I even grab the toothbrush
>a horny thought pops into my head
>decide to jack off while brushing my teeth
>ohyeah.mp3
>trying to brush back of tongue, gag reflex triggers
>one of the hottest things I've ever experienced
>glorious cumshot into sink, easy cleanup
>start making this a routine as well, my pleasure keeps on growing and an association forms in my mind

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
6 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1539603196086.jpg (119 KB, 1024x752)
119 KB
119 KB JPG
>>48723980
Put me in the screenshot frens
>>
>>48724154
How the fuck was that original?

Original commentary.
>>
>>48725216
Anon this isn't heaIthy
>>
Stimulate your anus with a vibrating toothbrush and share the results
>>
File: AkxId2Y.jpg (18 KB, 327x460)
18 KB
18 KB JPG
OP needs pic related

File: 6. October 2015.jpg (101 KB, 960x576)
101 KB
101 KB JPG
I'm poisoned and my body don't feel well,
I hate her, inside and out I feel my stomach turning edition
16 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>48725685
That sounds a lot nicer than driving lessons to be honest, and then I can do driving lessons in the future when I'm a bit more confident. I want one of those electric bikes that don't use petrol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqxsABSnEvA
>>
>>48725710
Years back i had some of my worst panic attacks ever in their. Genuinely thought i was going to die. Now having to go back years later i start sweating like a comical amount every time.
>>
>>48725733
One thing I will say, I was at a distinct advantage cause I've already had a driving license for several years so I knew all the road signs and how to navigate stuff like roundabouts and junctions. It will definitely be in your best interest to get a copy of the highway code and read it beforehand
>>
>>48725733
I don't think they're really a thing in the UK yet
>>
File: Spoiler Image (1.8 MB, 480x640)
1.8 MB
1.8 MB WEBM
all I want for christmas is a korean gf

File: 1516842038841.jpg (621 KB, 1080x1560)
621 KB
621 KB JPG
how are we all doing?
maybe tell me and we can be frens.
I will talk to all you anons.
I am a very nice person
10 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>48725648
I know it's cliche but it really is as simple as trying through the traditional means to make a connection with somebody. Hang out in public places like bars, use dating websites... whatever. It'll work out. No need to feel discouraged. So long as you're alive it's never too late.

Yeah, I wouldn't expect anybody to unless they felt that same perverted feeling... Thanks for empathizing though.
>>
>>48725712
>It'll work out.
except it won't. literal autism. i can't do that shit. i cant connect with someone irl unless im introduced by a 3rd party. its never happened any other way. i appreciate that youre trying to help, and all
>>
File: reimudab.png (125 KB, 376x428)
125 KB
125 KB PNG
I have a job interview coming up on wednesday. It's for stocking shelves at a supermarket bakery. It's the first job interview I've had in three months and I've been out of a job for the past six and a half. To be honest I don't care if I get the job or not, as I'm fine with my NEET life, but the money could be nice.
>>
File: 56798879_p0.jpg (310 KB, 1240x1707)
310 KB
310 KB JPG
hello fren, I am having a good day. I bought an ssd and hdd to replace my old dying drive and just everything is smoother from 5-10 minute boot ups to 20 seconds. I was going to write some music in a bit but I'm feeling in a rut right now so I don't want to force myself and turn myself off it. I hope you're having a good day and staying comfy fren
>>
File: 1516219981356.jpg (833 KB, 2050x1295)
833 KB
833 KB JPG
>>48725306
>Feel like shit and contemplating suicide
any idea how you will do it?
research it well so you dont fuck it up, also try get mental help before you do it incase thinsg can be fixed.

>>48725329
cute animoo girl indeed.
>>48725440
>Not very good. Feeling pretty useless lately.
hey that sucks man, ill check out your thread.
I like pedos and its sad how much hate they get man.
>>48725519
thats fine man, quality posting is so low on R9K that often the best written stuff gets ignored sadly.
heres a you fren.
keep your chin up.

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: 71185176_p1.png (1.21 MB, 1100x1310)
1.21 MB
1.21 MB PNG
Do girls like giving blowjobs? What's the appeal?
151 replies and 93 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Graves where you will rot
>>
Rotting out your skin and bones
>>
Eating away at your tissue
>>
And maybe even burning you
>>
Just to put you out of existence




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.