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/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively. This includes Discord server threads!

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Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.


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I'm a 5'2" tranny and I want a 6'2" boyfriend to carry me places!
I want some alcohol and weed but I probably wont get it.

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>chatting with a girl i like
>going well, she's laughing at my stupid jokes
>"psh anon my mom is terrible, she's trying to pair me with chad lol"

god damn it i thought i actually had a chance this time
7 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
at most if she thinks you like her she'll take it as you having realized its hopeless and moving on. you just have to be casual about it. idk how long you've been talking to her but its perfectly conceivable to her that you don't like her and you just happen to enjoy her company
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Blade runner was pretty boring desu
if you've known her for more than a month then just drop it.
met her for a few days around new years, along with some friends
He an unicorn?

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How am I supposed to succeed in life when I have feet like these? I got a bogus ass deal in life, I'm a turbo lanklet with deformed feet
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I wish I knew, I'm a bald lanklet freak
you look like those chink girls that used to have their feet wrapped, maybe try pick up weight and wear shoes that squash your feet a bit into a more natural position
I have a goblin body, I've been eating a ton trying to gain weight and work out but now I just have a big gut with skinny arms and legs, I'm the real life Dale gribble
He is clearly arching his foot
who the fuck can arch their foot that much

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new thread for the lad that wants to make a post
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hole guacamole. that must be nearly 4 hours. you quite skinny?
might try a daily hour /dawnwalk/ and then an hour /eveningwalk/
south wales here, let's go grab a pint lad
Shame, fingers crossed he dies soon
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> be me, party leader
> No one really likes me
> MPs hate me fml.jpeg
> Survived vote of no confidence by not giving in due to stubborness
> Lost and won last election in equal measure
> Makes no sense, totally qualified to be leader
> Private schools
> Career politician
> London focused
> Reward loyalty
> Backing of party fanatics
> Hate the EU and really want to leave, but have to deal with fucking remain people
> Killmenow.gif
> Be Jeremy Corbyn

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yea im skelly as fuck really but walk pretty fast, i can get 10 miles done in ~3 hours, depending on your daily routine dawn might be better to wake you up for the day

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>tfw no honcho bf
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Do no be sad you deserve better
I am man many would call...nice
they call me the head honcho, because you have to give me head
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>tfw roasties keep coming to this board to attention whore when chad refuses to fuck them

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It never gets better.
it only gets worse.
nihilist is the best way to cope.
take the black pill
12 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>Optimistic nihilism
Is that even possible?
Yes, when you've been a pessimistic nihilist for long enough, you become numb to the point of not giving a shit about anything, which can actually make you an optimistic nihilist
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daily reminder that you're still have a body and can interact with the word, and creation and change you make to it can give you meaning in itself

nihilism is the easy cope out not to try.
if your expectations get continuously crushed, then how about aiming at something very small, the more crushing your psyche or disease or any kind of debilitation is the more your accomplishments matter
>so why does my life keep getting worse

you dont have a cute bf yet (possibly me)
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>you dont have a cute bf yet (possibly me)
I dont date dudes
but drop your discord

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Daily reminder that LOOKS = PERSONALITY
It's not because you have asperger, or because you're muh INFJ/INFP
It's your F A C E
19 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>a guy who belived in the superiour germanic race = a shitty watered down american version of ethnic nationalism so that inbred rednecks can feel superiour
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You entire argument is debunked when you go outside and look at all the ugly couples

What do INFJ's/INFP's have to do with not getting laid?
It's a /r9k/ meme.
>"Muh I'm INFP nobody understands me"
>"Muh I'm INFJ. Why i'm so smart when everybody else is so sutpid? It's a cruel curse"
MBTI is a fucking autistic broscience meme
He believed that race (physical attributes) uniformity would bring peace to a nation
He was unironically a bigger defensor of equality than most of today self-proclammed "communists"
After the storm, all members of future generation would enjoy from a fair point of start at life

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Do you automatically grow up to become a freak when you're raised by a single mom?
>Do you automatically grow up to become a freak when you're raised by a single mom?

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Fellow fembots. What do you shclick to? For me it's usually a fantasy involving a man who looks like Conan the Barbarian kidnapping me
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what you don't have fantasies? you just rub yourself while you stare at the wall?
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>tfw when no sad virgin gf to cuddle and lose our virginities together
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it's a reference to a doujin, Emergence (Metamorphosis) by ShindoL
>you don't have fantasies?
i'd like to get abused by an aggressive bf but i don't think about that while i masturbate. it's mostly just daydreaming.
plus i can't picture myself with a man i find attractive because i'm so ugly. it makes me uncomfortable.
>you just rub yourself while you stare at the wall?
yeah pretty much.
Good taste

Goyim femanon here but I like the idea of both the girl falling for her captor and the guy being unable to resist his desire for the untermensch woman

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Do fellow robots store piss in bottles too?
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
I drink mine so that I don't lose my essential energy.
Yeah, they are next to each other and have different amount of piss. This means when I blow into the bottles, some bottles make higher-pitch notes than others.

>tfw created a piss instrument
No i can't understand how you can aim there. My dick always hets half-hard when pissing and i would never be able to keep the urethra hole on the neck of the bottle.
i keep one 2 liter bottle in my room for night pissing or long gaming sessions
Yes. I also have a shit bucket

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Why do normies find the concept of an adult virgin male so ridiculous that they make a comedy movie about it? Is it really that hard for them to imagine that some guys just live without sex?
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You can take biomed or premed courses, even nursing would only take 4 years
So you're a nurse larping as a doctor?
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Why would I lie on the internet? Also, how new are you to r9k
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>ends up in r9k shitposting anyway
I'm not the guy you were answering, but why do people pretend that posting here invalidates everything else you do? There's nothing wrong with posting here. You might think you're so poor at life that anyone who joins a place where you co-exist makes the very act irreconcilable with everything else, but it's just a big C O P E.

If I'm wrong, tell me what's wrong with posting here inherently. You won't. You'll avoid it or beat around the bush. Guaranteed.
You can lie but if you get caught it's preatty pathetic. Especially when you're anonymous on
top of the fact that no one knows you're lying.

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>there are people on r9k who graduated high school after 2006
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>he doesn't know that loads of underage thots are practically already porn stars on social media
If only you knew how bad things really are.
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Sounds even better if you ask
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is this what you wants?1!
Class of 2015 here... dropped out at 16 so it doesn't matter
Class of '13 master-race here to flex on you


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>Always be a whore
>4/10 without makeup
>7/10 with makeup
>8/10 body
>Never been in a real relationship
>Find a genuine guy
>Act like a whore
>Only enjoy relationship when we fuck
>Mfw I ruined my only good relationship
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
Go choke on some dick instead of typing here. What kind of answer were you expecting posting here?
>8/10 body

show us your cum dump mouth and tits

I wouldn't feel too bad. Fucking is the best part.
>>Find a genuine guy
>>Act like a whore

I don't get it
why are you a guy and wearing makeup?

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