[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: 1125px-No_selfies.svg[1].png (64 KB, 1125x1024)
64 KB
64 KB PNG
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
Do not post threads asking for pictures of other users.

All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

>>>/soc/

File: 1457233554895-0.jpg (247 KB, 1600x1200)
247 KB
247 KB JPG
Have you ever touched it?
Have you ever been face to face to a pussy? What did you think?
Have you licked it?
20 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39996757
Lmfao nah, didn't know that. Funny af desu but still gonna keep the nickname since we both antisocial af
>>
>>39992363
What's that patch on her stomach?
>>
>>39996900
I bet it's from a laparoscopic appendectomy.
>>
>>39992363
>Have you ever touched it?
Yes
>Have you ever been face to face to a pussy? What did you think?
smells not good. Do I really have to do this? I'm completely turned off.
>Have you licked it?
Yes. I bit sour/bitter but that was prob just piss or something. Putting it in retrospect, licking genitalia is disgusting.
>>
>>39995350
eaten my gf and two different prostitutes out. My girlfriend was ironically the most roastie and least tasty despite being virgin (other than me).

File: Magikarp .jpg (302 KB, 1000x333)
302 KB
302 KB JPG
Has anyone here actually had their cock suck before? Or sucked a cock? How was it? Does it feel as nice as it looks?
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39997193
It feels alright I guess but I'm circumcized so I guess it doesn't feel as good as it could. I've never cum from just getting sucked off.
>>
>>39997302
Can confirm most girls think this is really hot too, definitey the strat
>>
>>39997302

Dude generally if a girl doesn't know how to suck dick she will take it really personally if you try to point that shit out. Also a lot of times they're terrible and other guys lie to them and say they're good and it just reinforces that shit.

Every time I've tried to coach a chick that is terrible at sucking dick it has never worked out. They never want to learn or put in the effort which is SURPRISE SURPRISE! EXACTLY WHY THEY ARE TERRIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

If a girl can't suck dick for shit the only thing I'm going to do is move her head the fuck away from junk so I can fuck her and get it over with.
>>
I've done both, but only have one experience sucking cock. They both really turn me on. I'd say getting sucked is better all around.
>>
it feels very good

Gf/Bf thing thread
Here are the templates
276 replies and 70 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39986974
Yo, if you're gonna post this in another thread you should make the text actually readable.
>>
>>39997265
I'm trying to see if the excitable one is still around first, sry
>>
>>39997400
Ah well, that's fine. Doesn't look like we'd be a good match for eachother even as friends anyway, looking at this post

>>39997275

Completely willing submission is kind of boring, and that's almost always the case with things like this, having a dominant personality doesn't by default make you a greater force, in my opinion.
>>
File: gfmeme.png (97 KB, 800x800)
97 KB
97 KB PNG
posting this again bc its nice to chat w anons
>>
>>39997070
Not gonna lie that is one of my kinks, just not really into the full time thing haha

File: IMG_9500.jpg (50 KB, 599x355)
50 KB
50 KB JPG
Why don't blackbots just date black girls?
9 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39997215
White cunts are trying to copy this
>>
>>39997215
>>39997058
these here anon are spot on.
also some have super bitchy atittudes. i'm a laidback person, and i'm not willing to be henpecked by people
>>
>>39997392
No. every mixed guy i dated has been a narcissist asswagon who only cared about his instagram
>>
>>39997392
Statistically every race and religion likes white guys.
>>
>>39997392
Some black girls are into lightskins

File: 1472857582220.jpg (65 KB, 601x601)
65 KB
65 KB JPG
WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

File: 5.gif (443 KB, 500x288)
443 KB
443 KB GIF
>Used to be obese
>Was 330lbs
>Was getting a lot of health issues and showing signs of early diabetes
>Decided to go on a diet
>Realize halfway through that I can't afford new clothes
>Continue on anyway
>Now 168lbs
>Don't have any clothes that fit me anymore
>Can't go outside even if I wanted to
>Mom said "Buy your own clothes" even though I'm a NEET
What do?
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Being healthy is for people with money, OP. Should go back to being a fat bastard.
>>
>>39996937
learn how to tailor your old clothes into ones that fit better.
>>
>>39996937
Show us your tits then GTFO.
>>
>>39996937
Local charities might be able to help you buy "job interview" clothes for free.
>>
>>39996937
Go to a thrift store/charity shop and pick up a few outfits on the cheap.

File: output_rNaLEz.gif (351 KB, 573x599)
351 KB
351 KB GIF
"In which the Isle of Man take all of the British Isles"

Dubs - take a county
Trips - take 2 counties
Quads - take 4 counties
Quints+ - nuke 'em
1488 - Germany enters the game
79 replies and 9 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Germany napalm manx city's but instead of napalm it's estrogen
>>
>>39997422
only one more now england take another shot at finishing off worcester.
>>
File: r9k-uk-game.png (22 KB, 573x599)
22 KB
22 KB PNG
>>39997422
The Worcsts are forced into Powys.

>>39997433
The boipucci is strong with this one
>>
Manx uses boipucci squads to fuck sheeps
>>
>>39997447
Worcester takes back the city onces more... i hope.

File: 1481470595739.png (44 KB, 549x591)
44 KB
44 KB PNG
Any brainlets had any luck with improving themselves?

I've been exercising, meditating, eating "brainy" food, doing intermittent fasting and playing dual n-back but I'm not sure if doing these things will really make me smarter.
>>
>>39997402
>3!=33
this one is correct isn't it

3 is not equal to 33

File: dad fe.jpg (7 KB, 250x233)
7 KB
7 KB JPG
>try to fit in with my former friends
>they are boring
>try to have male friends
>in the end they only pretend to be interested in you because they want to have free sex/oral
>girl to girl online relations are impossible unless you are a tumbrl pig
>have to pretend to be a guy in order to get online friends and if you ever reveal your gender desperate idiots flock around you because they want sex

Women can be lonely, having sex has nothing to do with loneliness
255 replies and 48 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39997111
but weewees are peepees
r u ghey?
>>
>>39997102
your problems are purely a result of your unrealistic expectations.

also lol at implying the 'great handsome man' isnt also using you (and many others) as a human cum rag.
>>
>>39997102
Because there is no such thing as a perfect man. "Mr right" doesn't exist. We a just as human as you.

I'm a good looking guy who has his shit together for the most part. But I've come to learn that I can't let woman in as soon as they see me as human they turn and feel like I tricked them.

I know no woman is perfect but no woman wants anything but perfect
>>
File: Cva4xKWUEAAy5We.jpg (20 KB, 342x512)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
>>39996955
Pretty hot desu. Moar?
>>
>>39996955
just how many times were you molested as a kid?

File: 1468100929523.jpg (1.77 MB, 2223x3952)
1.77 MB
1.77 MB JPG
are you on spiro or cypro ladies
331 replies and 33 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39997349
No I'm gonna treat you like a princess and take care of you.
>>
>>39988206
>feel good hormone

what. i had no idea, wtf
>>
>>39997371
You're not going to want to touch my benis are you?
>>
File: 1410811338177.jpg (398 KB, 500x500)
398 KB
398 KB JPG
>8 years ago
>think I want to grow breasts so I'll squeeze my nipples hard every night in the hopes that I'll grow them
>now getting gynecomastia despite being only skinnyfat
>afraid that somebody will ask me why I don't want to remove them
>don't want to cause I heard you can't grow them back and I'm not sure if I'm trans or not
>feel strangely happy to feel them on my chest
anybody know this weird feel?
>>
>>39997444
Nope. You're a girl to me. 100% a girl. No abusiveness, no Benis touching

>mfw this board is full of racist fucks who would choose some half white half Asian mongrel over a beautiful black woman

The fuck is wrong with yall?
25 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>39996771
Are you telling me you don't want to put your dick in that throat hole?
>>
>>39995263
There is nothing wrong with not being into bestiallity
>>
>>39997038
but demon lust is fine apparently
>>
File: xgbfu.jpg (65 KB, 900x500)
65 KB
65 KB JPG
>>39995263
Black women are too fertile. What? I saw someone here say so.
>>
>>39997306
demons are exotic m8. Just think how it would feel to have your soul fucked.

File: IMG_0380.jpg (16 KB, 390x389)
16 KB
16 KB JPG
>spoke to Amazon Support today
>Symmetra asks me how I'm doing today?
>tell her not too good
>she replies with that's wonderful
>mfw
>this is a warning to all other people potentially calling Amazon
>symmetra is mad that she has to stand in three feet of shit and next to a cow in her cubicle, making two rupees a month to feed her sons Pajeet and Ramesh so be careful because she'll take her anger out on you
>tfw I'm typing this while taking a shit on an actual toilet
>feels good man

OMG wtf do I do bots? She is serious about this
>>
she had more balls than you

just tell her where to meet up fag
>>
>>39997377
Nigga you sounds beta as fuck. Luckily she is interested. Just give her a place and date and you're good.
>>
fuck, she's cute as fuck. women will never speak this way to me,
>>
File: 198.jpg (31 KB, 600x590)
31 KB
31 KB JPG
>>39997377
You take your shitty bait and leave, normie.
>>
>>39997377
If a girl is straight up telling you she wants to fuck and you still need help you should kill yourself


Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.