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04/28/16New trial board added: /qst/ - Quests
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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

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>girls this amazing exist and you'll never cuddle them
what the fuck

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What are some things you wish would happen to you, but won't due to you being a sad pathetic depressed lazy loser who would rather sit in front of a monitor and cry than go get shit done?
Sorry than your thread doesn't get replies, but I love this imagine. It reminds me of a stream with frogs, of sun and nature, things I enjoyed as a kid and it reminds me of romantic adventure stories. Thank you!

Any of your standard power fantasies.

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Femanons, what are your dealbreakers? Are there certain things that make you instantly regret talking to a certain man?
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> 'I don't date anymore'
> 'I found my beta provider'
Why you asking them like anybody is going to date them lol
Playing pretend is for children.
I hope that's not actually you
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> it's the girls mature faster meme

Write a letter to someone who may or may not read it.

I love reading these.
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never understood why ppl dont type out the whole name. Its not like ppl will know who the fuck you're talking about even if you type "Jason" instead of "J", since there are thousands of fucking Jasons
I wonder if anyone in these threads writes letters to themselves...
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to the world

i'm giving up on you, i'm fed up, this is a fucking hindrance, and not worth at all.
I'm not even becoming more depressed or anything,
Each morning i'm waking up more dull and aloof than the day before.
i'm just gonna live for myself, and fuck all of them who tried to make me think that i mattered for them, i'm not gonna sacrifice myself for other people anymore.

I'm just bitter that i fell for the "have faith in people" meme. i'm a terrible person and i just hide this truth to myself by being overly nice to people, i'm not a good person and i should stop acting like i were one.
Hi, D

Yes, I'm that disgusting
Yes, I still love you
No, I'll never try to hurt you or your feelings, even tho you did this to me over and over again

Sorry for being a burden 'til now, but not for long
Bye, E
I wish one of these were about me

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>dumb stacie knock at the door looking for my chad roommate
>open the door in boxer shorts with an huge bulge
>ends up on her knees polishing my unit

Feel good man.
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i fuckin love it when chicks wax down my home theater system too mate
Ask your mom, she's known around town as the black man unit polisher

>be stacie
>want to fuck chad but have to ask his autistic roommate where he is
>he just stands there
>have mono at the time
>decide to blow him
>boy is he in for a rude awakening
I once got dominated by this bbg would dominates me with his bbc
only niggers polish things I want the coalburners to leave

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About to rewatch NHK in the middle of a depressive episode, is this a good idea robots? Will Misaki save me?

Misaki friday? It's friday where I am.
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>Yamazaki was a dick though. He looked down on Satou and only used him for his dumb dreams

i dont think that is entirely true

he participated in pretty much all of Satou's plans, and even sees Satou as valuable

I dont get where "he looked down" on Satou at all. Telling someone they are fucking up, isnt looking down on them, considering he related to Satou in a lot of ways.
>Yamazaki was a dick though

Sure, but he wasn't all that manipulative. Sato came to him in the first place and was pretty enthusiastic about the idea of making a game, so it's not like much manipulation was needed. He stopped Sato from jumping off of that cliff, got him out of the pyramid scheme, and basically forced him to go outside in broad daylight several times. But on the other hand, he did almost get Sato arrested for sexual harassment of minors. So maybe it evens out.
If he anything part of him looked up to Satou after he tried to save him from bullies. Hell when they first meet again remember how happy Yamazaki was to see him.

Also I really doubt he used him, seriously with all the work Yamazaki did alone on their eroge he could of easily wrote a script on top of that. Also he gave Satou a choice in it he didn't force him or manipulate him to do it.
>But on the other hand, he did almost get Sato arrested for sexual harassment of minors. So maybe it evens out

thats literally the robot in him, being cringy, and doing cringy things like we all do sometimes

he could have been arrested as well, he just ran IIRC
>Hell when they first meet again remember how happy Yamazaki was to see him.

That goes away just hours later, though. Once he finds out that Sato is a NEET, his attitude changes pretty quickly.

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At gym what do

>inb4 underage
>inb4 girl in grey pants
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lol nigga these kids are like 13
>inb4 underage
doesn't change the fact you are underage and should fuck off.

buy glasses at walmart for a couple bux
Gym class is mixed with freshmen to seniors
post pics of grey pants girl

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My nephew I looked after from when he was a toddler is now in his first year in university. Hear about his new girlfriend he introduced at family dinner and all of his adventures during his gap year overseas.

Here, I am a dropout in second year from almost 15 years ago.
Got a job scrubbing floors and stacking shelves, get an occasional stint out in the country, been in the same rut for near a decade.

I think the time is approaching, robots.

Ask the sacred deer

Did I pass my exam yesterday?
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Will i pass my exam tomorrow
Will she love me?
I already knew it sacred deer should i just kill myself?
Can I get some succ soon bb, pls deer help me out here

will i pass my test and prove my notepad file correct?

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Hell on earth thread.
are those parasites eating him inside and outside in?
there is no morality in nature
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These are only mites clinging to it, while it is not harming the bee it is not doing it any good.

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>Butt immediately feels "empty"
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>How do you even put your fingers up your ass enough to touch the prostate?
Your prostate is not very far in at all.

>And still have the focus to jerk off at the same time?
It's not complicated. Use a finger or two on your right hand attending to your butt and your left hand to stroke.
I wasn't, I was just horny and wanted to talk about buttstuff.
If you don't think there's anything even the least bit gay about putting something up your ass, you're crazy.

I'm not saying it's wrong, or that people shouldn't do it- but it's pretty gay. It simulates typical homosexual activity.
But what position do you sit in? Do you have to lie down on the floor sideways to do this? I don't understand this stuff.
Whichever you find easiest. If you plan on stroking and playing with your butt, lying on your back is probably your best option.

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>get asked for time
>say its 12:30
>its actually 12:31

who else /mischief/ here?
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>have gum
>chad friend asks for some
>give him an empty wrapper

I done did a real good mischief lads
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>tell mom i'm going to hang myself
>actually slit my wrists

>in Afghanistan when I was still in the marines
>doing IA drills
>instructed to rapidly shoot a target with five shots
>sneak a sixth shot in
>post another derivative shitpost no one cares about into a void instead of contributing something meaningful or doing something useful
>office space that I work at recently downsized, all people are now working in close quarters.
>start wearing adult diapers and purposefully shit in them while at work
>make sure to spread my legs so my diaper-shit-air fills up the small office space
>all of my co-workers always gag, they know it's me
>smile like I know nothing and do my work
>I get paid for this shit

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Hey faggots, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no lifes who spend every second of their own day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly have any of you ever gotten pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. i was captain of my football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic related: It's me and my bitch

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Thoughts on him?
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I wish I had more pictures of him crossdressing.
I guess I'm a degenerate.
>He posted an anti-women infographic on the 4chan blog lmao.


You're right, I thought you were making shit up for a second
yeah he's gunna make the white women leave and put the BAC away to come shitpost with some losers

Lmao! The "never breeds" box is us.
Don't really know him, but I've been away for a while and 4chan seems to be in much better shape since he arrived.

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