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File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

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your life has not been difficult
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>>35136776
It has. I am orphan.
>>
>>35136816
How is that at all difficult?

>50%+ of men haven't had sex while being a teenager
>Everyone has depression
>no one gets a life they want
>no idea why nostalgia is making your life difficult

explain to me how you're life is shit when it's literally the same as most people?
>>
>>35137017
that you sought to qualify yourself by replying to this post suggests that your orphanage is the only thing you've ever suffered

but i could be wrong
>>
>>35136992
i have it too, i think it's because we missed out on quintessential teen experiences like dating, hooking up etc. for the first time and since now we're no longer in high school those experiences are forever lost. since normies had them they have no reason to look back since they're current life is fine, for us though we regret what we didn't have and what we know is eternally lost.
>>
>>35136915
>unfair

I don't really care about unfair, what drives me up the wall is that some stupid defect in my own psyche prevents me from getting what dumb normies can get without even doing much

that and that girls can smell the quasi-autism which after all is a bit of the unfair category but oh well

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Let's get a women hate thread going, anons. Anything is welcome, be it related to, feminism, fem"bot" psychology, or just plain BTFOing of roasties, this is where it goes. Image macros would be preferred. Those that don't belong, you know who you are, and should act accordingly
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>>
>>35136867

To which I say verily, GTFO NORMIE, REEEEEEEEE
>>
>>35136970
No. I'm a robot. So is anyone else who posts here. Everyone is welcome (except fats and trannies)
>>
This chick from Tinder was dtf, and then I get this shit. I'll bet the head of my prick that she meets up with Chad in the next 3 days.
>>
We're all living in America, America
Ist wunderbar!
>>
>>35133741
>muh scientific method
doesn't matter as long as it's predictive

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I think I'm dying bros. Over the pass 5-4 months when ever I take a shit there is some traces of blood left behind. Just a few minutes ago I took a shit and the entire toilet was red and when I wiped my ass blood was everywhere.

I think this has something to do with my alcoholism. I know my liver and my entire digestive system is fucked because I drink almost everynight for almost a year and a half now.

I've been losing alot of weight too and have pain in the abdominal region every know and then. Also I'm poor ad fuck and don't have health insurance.

How fucked am I?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Go to the doctor you dense cunt
>>
>>35136946
if its bright red, fresh blood, it's probably just a hemhorroid or some other abrasion and not indicative of a systemic problem

you should probably see the doctor though unless you're actually too poor nigger

gl
>>
Eat more fiber and drink more water. It's probably just an internal hemorrhoid. You're probably dehydrated because you're an alcoholic and malnourished because you're a poorfag.
>>
>>35136946
Put a tampon in your boipussy.
>>
I thought I was dying too, turns out just hemorrhoid. Get some fiber, bro

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"Principal Anon, what are your lesson plans this weekend?"
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>>
>>35136981
Blood for the blood god, Kate is now chosen of Khorne
>>
>>35136981
sort their order from smallest to largest cup size
>>
>>35136981
Students, it is an order to gouge out Sakura eyes
>>
>>35136407
>what are your lesson plans this weekend
First up is hymen breaking 101
>>
>>35136981
Tell that damn girl to change her hair to a natural color and give her some discipline. Also tell smith she looks good and start checking for mtf

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I love anime and cosplay, but I've put that aside a long time last year. I've been focusing more on music and DJing and it's been great. I befriended a lot of musicians, traveled across the country, and played shows. I also learned how to ride a motorcycle. Last night was one of the best nights of life. I played for a venue in Orlando and I felt complete when the crowd started cheering and jumping to the beat of my music.

I'm going to make it. I'm going to no longer be a robot.
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>>
How do you travel as a dj/producer
>>
>>35135310
All I've done this year is work. Nothing else. Not a thing.
>>
>>35135817

I mostly DJ with a laptop so my luggage isn't that costly to move. I work at a restaurant , have a Patreon, and sell merc on bandcamp to be able to afford traveling. Also helps to have friends to be traveling with.
>>
I put a lot of work into some OC and posted it on /r9k/.
I got lots of replies saying it was funny and got lots of people saying they "keked" and that they loved it.
In all sincerity, it made me feel really good about myself.
>>
HOW DO I START DJING

PLS REPLY OP

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>sorry anon, the Supreme Leader of North Korea has asked me to assassinate you!

what do?
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>>35136924
Tell him I said "thank you"
>>
>>35136924
ask if i can get a pity fuck as my last wish before she kills me
>>
>>35136924

no i didn't, don't be silly.
>>
>>35136924
Show her the power of my swc
>>
Rape the communism out of her

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You jealous, Sweden?
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>>
>>35136958
According to basic observation, most of Sweden will be descended from Arab and North African settlers a decade from now.

Why not pre-empt it and make the big move ahead of time?
>>
>>35136958
Has Tyrone been feeding you bad facts again my little cuck man?
>>
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>>35136979
Ladies first Limey.
>>
>>35136958
>Breeds
Theres definitely some breeding going on...
>>
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Twice tonight I've saved this flies life. Earlier at 8pm before I went out drinking. Saw it stuck in the bath tub so picked it up and placed it on dry ground, somewhere nice and safe so my family wouldn't step on it. Away from the big spider that lives under the bath as well. No treats tonight Spidey, this fly is a friend.

Anyway, just got back in and found it in the bath again, half submerged in the little puddle at the dip in the bath. Put my finger in and it crawled aboard. Let it rest on the towel. Didn't want to try and towel dry it myself in case I accidentally smothered it. Waited a few minutes and put it back on the ground away from the bad spider. This time I've made sure to dry the bath out though, don't want it drowning again. I left the bathroom light on so it can make its way around. It probably only has this night left to exist, it may as well get comfy. I hope it doesn't starve and stays away from the big spider. I feel guilty about not helping it further but I feel I've already disobeyed the prime directive enough.

How about you learn from this yea god? You wanker.


pls no bully god if u r real

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>tfw nu-male cuck

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So, which one in the video are you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H50nqenYMDM
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35136922

How bad does it get?
>>
>>35136880
no i'm just doing worse than these guys

and it reminds me of what i was like when i was in high school
>>
>>35136852
Holy shit if that is you that is hilarious. You are the epitome of robot.
>>
>>35136439
i remember playing this game way back holy shit
>>
>>35136987

Chibi gets Twitch stream interrupted by his mom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_gdqMTKXrc

Chibi singing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vniPtX1PQ7g

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>tfw xanax feels TOO good

I might become addicted, I could see it happening
6 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35135356
>>35135356

Same with me senpai. I just don't get the appeal.
>>
>>35135356
>>35135377
I've never blacked out on xanax. My arms and legs just feel heavy, I get a little tired, and I don't feel nervous anymore.
>>
>>35134955
w-wanna hang out
>>
>>35134682
>fell for the benzodiazepine meme
You dumb nigger. If you ever decide to stop taking it, you are in for a hell of a ride. The withdrawals from benzodiazepines are the worst thing that I have ever experienced. Also, they last for months or even years, can give you seizures, and can even kill you. Get off of it asap
>>
>>35136753
Do you need to be on them for a while for the addiction to form? I'm thinking of trying some to maybe stave off my inevitable suicide for a few more months.

hey r9k

what are some good jobs to get into as a 20 y.o NEET? I've been a NEET every since I dropped out of highschool and I can't sustain my NEET lifestyle for much longer. I've been thinking about doing a trade but I'm not sure yet. I'm sorry if this sounds like blogposting. Thoughts?

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post shit you say to yourself when you're alone.
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>>35136806
this, fesu
>>
Anyone /RandomFitsofLaughterandShivering/ here?
>>
>>35126100
I hate you. (in front of a mirror)
>>
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>You should kill your mom
>Kill that bitch
>She's the reason you're like the way you are
>You're also a bitch
>Kill yourself afterwards
>>
I talk about how amazing math is to myself
I recite anime scenes
I say random japanese phrases
I also argue with people who aren't there to argue back, like a back and forth of what I think they'd say

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Is it safe?

I live in NYC, and would love to take strolls around the streets at like 3-4am, maybe bring my vape with me and get a nice high going. I live in Manhattan and there are cameras everywhere, so I assume it's probably safe-ish?

How late do you usually go out? What do you do?

Also general /nightwalk/ thread. Feel free to share comfy nightwalk-inspired pics and albums/playlists/songs/
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>>
>>35136454
id like to get a pizza with you, if thats okay
>>
Any Torontobots like to nightwalk? What do you think of it safety wise? I've been doing it for a while and haven't had any problems but I don't actually know the city that well and wouldn't mind a second opinion or even recommendations for places to go.
>>
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Any Brooklyn bot nightwalkers here? I
>>
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>>35136814
Leave now and never come back morning walker.

We don't take to your kind here.
>>
>>35136884
You're the Queens bot? Sure, I'd be open to that

It's hard to find someone more psycologic demage than I am. I just feel so lonely sometimes. I miss human touch. Maybe I don't miss social life, people aee so superficial. I want feelings, real feelings. I want to understand and to be conected.


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