[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Name
Spoiler?[]
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File[]
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.

10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
05/08/16Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box!
[Hide] [Show All]


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: robot overlord.png (1.24 MB, 1024x1265)
1.24 MB
1.24 MB PNG
/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
/r9k/ has no topic, but unlike /b/ Global Rule #3 is in effect. In addition, advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.

File: 600x600bb-85.jpg (67 KB, 600x600)
67 KB
67 KB JPG
Mexican/hispanic robots

what do you think of George Lopez?
43 replies and 11 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749273
They think being legal makes them cool and white unlike those uncool illegal, poor beaners.

They don't realize that wetbacks are actually the cool ones because they're outlaws.
>>
>>35749349
>that wetbacks are actually the cool ones because they're outlaws.

how is that cool?
>>
File: I'm not surprised.png (682 KB, 600x597)
682 KB
682 KB PNG
>>35747616
the show was good, i don't really like his stand up

what he did to his ex wife is kind of fucked up
>>
>>35749373
Because outlaws are cool.
>>
>>35748772
They implied he raped a girl throughout the show. George always had a serious look when ernie was around carmen. George would always get him out of the house to backyard all slick.

Why are you not in the military?

It gives you a purpose.
15 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I don't like killing. I don't think we should kill each other over what the guys at the too think about each other.
>>
>>35748787
Honestly I'd love to join the military if the military was worth dying for.

The Afghan war was pointless and we have achieved exactly nothing.

The Iraq war was pointless and we have achieved exactly nothing.

I mean, if Mexico invades the USA I might sign up. But as it is the military is just so fucked.

>Can I drone strike a wedding? You bet!

>Can I blow away Somali pirates? No. That infringes on their civil rights.

>Can we reinforce Assad and Russia and end the Syrian civil war? No. The war must go on forever because Israel, the Military Industrial Complex, Saudi Arabia, and Qatar will it. It is the forever war.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>35749149
this is exactly why...
btw this comment is not original and i was muted for 2 sec
>>
>>35748787
They won't have me, I begged all branches but health too poor.
>>
File: 1487248720038.jpg (27 KB, 499x499)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
Have a second hell ride to MEPS next week to meet with a mental health counselor. I don't know how i'm supposed to pretend i'm a normie when they're already convinced i'm a psycho. I'm sorta glad this happened because I originally reserved a combat engineer position without realizing how touch that job is. I'm definitely going in for something technical now. I really don't want to be around the kind of people who are taking combat positions. They seem to either be ultra normie failed chads or self righteous cunts.

>>35749366
>begged all branches
how? they share all that information i'm pretty sure

File: 1489676236135.jpg (535 KB, 1800x2300)
535 KB
535 KB JPG
I'm a guy (male) and I want to sexually please men. ls that weird?
70 replies and 35 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1488535341176.jpg (319 KB, 799x800)
319 KB
319 KB JPG
>>35749157
I'd love to be your obedient smol boi anon. What would you make me do?

>>35749200
http://i.imgur.com/gu2t72M.jpg
Like that?

>>35749232
That's pretty much me. I will try to become cuter though, I think it will be worth it.
>>
i just want to fuck a femboy trap or whatever the fuck they are called with a very feminine voice
and cum inside them


or at the very least try to talk to them and see if that'd be my thing if not i guess i'm straight and not bi


or i'm an asexual piece of shit
>>
>>35749332
sure, why not... not like its any worse
>>
>>>>>>>/lgbt/
This is /r9k/, ya know. Nothing against you guys, it's just that there's a whole board for that shit.
>>
>>35749332
probably forcibly fuck you when you aren't expecting it
that idea turns me on

File: imperial.jpg (49 KB, 355x476)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
You're just sitting there minding your own business, when this bitch comes up to you and farts in your face, how do you respond?
>>
>>35749374
Grab her by the waist spin her around and stare directly into her eyes with my gace an inch from her.
Hold her in place with one hand and slide the other down the back of her pants.
Stick my middle finger up her butthole and wiggle it around, grinding my knuckle into the side of her rectum.

File: tom pouring coffee.gif (365 KB, 400x328)
365 KB
365 KB GIF
>have money from investments I made when I was younger. enough money to set me up for life
>buy a terraced house (for non-bongs, that's a house that is attached to another house on each side)
>it has no windows at all. only the front door
>paranoid about someone breaking in
>have 5 sliding chain locks on the front door
>no idea how many tower bolt locks on it as well. at least 10
>live all by myself. never talk to anyone
>have food and supplies delivered to me
>never leave the house except to put the trash out late at night once a week
>this continues for what must be 8 years now
>two nights ago I hear a load of noise out the front of my house
>someone knocks on the door
>nearly shit myself. but don't answer
>get a phone call a few minutes later (I have my telephone number on the front of my door, in case someone needs to speak to me)
>guy tells me he's the police and he needs to talk to me

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
78 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35748920
>>35749092
An adult can throw his own phone as much as he'd like. It doesn't matter whether or not they 'approve' of it.

OP, if these people make even the slightest attempt to put you away, contact a lawyer immediately, let him/her handle everything, and hopefully get those antagonizing you officially charged with crimes, not to mention earn yourself a hell of a lot of money.
>>
>>35749294
I don't want to go to therapy. I went there a very long time ago when I was feeling depressed, and I only ended up feeling worse.

The outside world is depressing. I like my house. I'd rather stay in here.

>>35749315
haha
>>
>>35749191
>It's a UPVC door. The door is UPVC. The frame is UPVC. The frame is then cemented into the doorway. I live in Engalnd. Houses here are made of brick, not wood.

You are not following what I am saying. That's fine, just be aware that you are not nearly as secure as you think.
>>
>>35749092

Mad story. i really feel you on the scared about getting put away and losing your shit parts.

Since you have money why not hire yourself a lawyer or someone on a payroll to look after your legal bullshit?

It would give you a somewhat peace of mind
>>
>>35749278
well, in your case i gotta admit you have a pretty nice one, sadly, i don't have the kind of money to pull that off, so, in my case it kind of hard

File: jesusweeping111.jpg (43 KB, 400x418)
43 KB
43 KB JPG
>ask a boy for his pic
>hes ugly
>i feel relieved yet betrayed

how do i cope lads..
13 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749124
kek

orgnali
>>
>>35748721
what if he doesn't even send you a pic

then you find out and u scar yourseIf? fuck
>>
>>35749192
respawn and try again
>>
>>35749257
what does that even mean? i'm the one camping the respawn. i think he deleted his account
>>
>>35749109
I would really appreciate this, I'd take it as a rejection yeah but it really is constructive. You kinda did a bad job at putting it in a negative light.

File: _.jpg (265 KB, 963x1024)
265 KB
265 KB JPG
Are you a virgin walker?
>>
>>35749365
i walk slower and put my hands in my jacket pockets, but i still look down
>>
I'm a deathwalker you slime earthnigga, take your insecurities into the hell your selfish mind is destined for and leave the insightful living in peace
>>
>>35749365
are you supposed to look at people in the eyes when you pass them? or any other time? ive never ever looked at anyone in their eyes before when talking to them.

and ya i walk like this but without the rigid arms or bad posture
>>
File: 20183134-.jpg (49 KB, 540x277)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
>All too relatable

S-shut up

File: HRmQ9FT.jpg (89 KB, 644x781)
89 KB
89 KB JPG
>you will never be able to say "I beat the pussy up" and mean it
>>
You could just become a rapist.

File: 1480811662064.jpg (116 KB, 694x878)
116 KB
116 KB JPG
Who here /wentfroma3toa8
>>
no offense but 8 is kind of pushing it

5 or 6 might be acceptable
>>
you look like a young Brad pitt
>>
>>35748866
He looks like an Old Arm Pitt
>>
>>35748822
Get a haircut. You look like a swollen old Indian lady with that cut

File: 1475349990778.png (899 KB, 768x1024)
899 KB
899 KB PNG
havent had a belly thread in a while
ive missed them
134 replies and 100 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35748654
why?
its sexy as hell
>>
>>35747019
that isn't a pregnancy?
>>
File: IMG_9988.jpg (56 KB, 640x480)
56 KB
56 KB JPG
>>35748748
My dick can't tell the difference. Its a plump belly, so I still fap to it.
>>
File: 1439960451010.jpg (325 KB, 960x1280)
325 KB
325 KB JPG
>>35748884
damn thats a nice belly
>>
File: 1471825535082.jpg (85 KB, 333x500)
85 KB
85 KB JPG
home tamarco

File: giphy-facebook_s.jpg (31 KB, 480x270)
31 KB
31 KB JPG
My brother told me to stop using the depression excuse and that he can use it on me if I can on him.

Depression excuse.

So, ribbits, is it an excuse or is acute depression real?
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>35749270
idk, I was just thinking that myself. I'm about to walk to the bar across the street to get more beer because the beer I bought isnt working anymore and im still addied out
>>
>>35749303
Overcame depression with crippling alcoholism.

Right.
>>
>>35749322
lol it worked
>64k with 5k staring bonus job lined up
>friends
or
>never leaving my house
>afraid to talk to people

you pick one fucker
>>
>>35749193

Sounds like you're talking about your brother. Not all depressed people.
>>
File: 1275519374903.jpg (719 KB, 1440x900)
719 KB
719 KB JPG
>>35749352

> Implying a good job and friends means you can't be depressed.

Please don't believe this anon.

Trying to get this server off the ground again. Join in if you like. Also, retarded fb sluts thread

>>>/b/726645787
6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
It's fake. That's Tessa Fowler.
>>
File: 1466371955008.png (194 KB, 473x525)
194 KB
194 KB PNG
Fuck the thread theme and fuck this gay earth
>>
File: 1466648067564.jpg (127 KB, 580x423)
127 KB
127 KB JPG
Fb is a treasure trove of cringe desu
>>
>>35748635
She's an adult model. That post is fake.
>>
>>35749335
Oh fugg.

You think people would actually go on the web and just tell lies?

File: 1368962729355.jpg (96 KB, 724x720)
96 KB
96 KB JPG
How long have you been on 4chan? How long have you been on /r9k/?
>2012
>2015
64 replies and 12 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1481119743415.jpg (59 KB, 574x863)
59 KB
59 KB JPG
>>35742369
>4chan since 2010
>r9k 2011 probably

This place is all I do on the internet nowadays. I'm not even watching films or listening to new music anymore. Deleted all social media some years ago. I'd go to my uni courses websites once a week maybe, and that's it.
>>
>>35748846
I feel sorry for people like you anon. I was always just very good at learning, but it sucked when I was in college watching one of my good friends struggle with their courses when I was breezing through them. They wanted to learn, but they just couldn't understand and absorb the material well. I just felt bad, since this friend was one of the most genuine person I ever met
>>
File: 00104what.jpg (65 KB, 1280x720)
65 KB
65 KB JPG
I've been on since 2006. I remember because it was a day after the Wii launched.
>>
>>35749364
Forgot that I have been on /r9k/ since 2015.
>>
File: idk_man.jpg (268 KB, 1344x1392)
268 KB
268 KB JPG
I never realized almost if not everyone on /r9k/ is so fucking depress. Life has so much opportunities and now it feels like time is very limited to some, well to me it depends on what I do actually.but I don't see how 4chan has affected your life but my question is, how has 4chan changed your life?

File: 1438843061096.jpg (95 KB, 366x485)
95 KB
95 KB JPG
>tfw liberals have ruined women forever
Why did they do this? What was their end game?
>>
>>35749368
honestly most women are liberal until they get with a conservative guy
it's in their nature to take after their mate

far left liberal women are too far gone though


Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.