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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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02/28/15Janitor applications are now being accepted for the next ~48 hours.
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Anyone need legitimate details of pic related? Sunday is my last day working here. I can explain why you should or shouldn't support a corporation that doesn't give a shit about it's employees.

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>cashier has been notified to assist you
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where do you think you are?
>attempt to steal
>get caught
and why are you surprised?
It's an eel.
>Try to steal from a business
>Business calls the police and bans you

so is that thing alive or is the heat just stimulating the nerves and shit?

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I can't get enough

I find the straw thing actually ingenious.

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Stocked up for tomorrow and Friday if we get tons of snow like they are saying

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Shut up you pampered little generational and probable hipster; adults are talking.
Or not enough to do.
You watch Parks and Rec, but you're telling me to get a more exciting life. Alright, buddy.
>I'm not gonna defend being an alcoholic because alcohol is a depressant
What's wrong with being a depressant?
I've had to sober up so I can pass drug tests because detox wasn't working and I'm not about to carry fake piss on me into some of the clinics I've been in to drug test.
It made me way less cranky and angry. Like when I was stoned every day, I was never angry about things. Now I'm back to being my usual grumpy self, because life sucks in general and alcohol doesn't make me happy unfortunately.

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You like malt liquor? If so, what is your favorite kind?
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>If you're looking for $5 piss water, get a nice IPA

Shut up hipster.
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Lucky bastard.
ipa's are objectively the worst kind of beer.

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Didn't expect parsnips to be so sweet.

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I like them and think they're delicious but everyone else seems to hate them

>Made parsnip mash for thanksgiving
>Bowl was basically full by the end of the dinner
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What the fuck is a parsnip
It's like a different race of carrot.
It's like having a job.
is ok but no potato or yorkshire pudding

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>putting soy sauce on your sushi

why? this overpowers all the flavours
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because in america these niggers don't hand out towels like in japan to clean your hands with you worked to death sallary nip.
generally speaking wasabi is used to hold fish together, overapplying something strong like green horse radish or wasabi is a ticket to losing all the flavor of that expensive fish you're paying for. If you want to do this, its your money, but please, fucking please, at least consider using it on cuts that aren't endangered? if you're going to litterally cover the taste up then you can eat anything.
Unless you're strict I don't think it matters all that much, wasabi isn't necessary it's just a complimentary flavor

What does bug me is when people have the ginger in the same bite as the sushi, that shit is meant as a palate cleanser between types, not to eat with
>>>6287760 (OP)
wasabi is meant to be put in a small, small dab under the fish
no, it is not. you feel superior though, don't let me stop you. feel good about yourself.

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Chicken Noodle Soup edition, this is one of my very favorite things to make
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They're idiots that enjoy having nose bleeds from lighting pilots.
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The soup is done and it is delicious

>Why people hate electric stoves so much ?
Because they suck donkey dick

>If it's electric isn't it better for controlling temperature
The exact opposite
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>The exact opposite

Well now I can tell why they are so hated.
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It was suposed to be a soup OP.

From 1 to 10 How was the taste ?

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>Greek style yogurt
>maple flavored syrup
>fruit juice "drink"
>golden syrup
>non-dairy milk
If you buy these, fuck you
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Greek STYLE yogurt, not Greek yogurt ya dummy

Greek style yoghurt is just normal yoghurt with thickeners added as opposed to real Greek yogurt

>Greek style yoghurt is just normal yoghurt with thickeners added

not true dude. at least not always true.
which doesn't exist

and strained yogurt isn't processed or disgusting like everything else OP mentioned

everyone against it in this thread is retarded
do your research
I like margarine on toast because it melts easier

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How drunk have you been /ck/

Drunk enough to shit your pants?
Drunk enough to forget your own name?
Drunk enough to fall asleep in a bush?
Drunk enough to have inappropriate sexual thoughts about a family member?
Drunk enough to commit a crime and not remember it until the next day?

Tell me
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Surprisingly I have done none of these things, yet I have been blackout more times than I can count. I don't know if that makes me a good or bad alcoholic.
>tfw alcholic and all of these stories seem like normal nights out with my friends or child's play
Hmmm...off the top of my head
>got arrested for dwi back in october, case is still open (dropped a ton of money on a dwi specialist attorney) (got dwi by passing out a redlight. people came to help and i thought i was a diabetic that passed out in the car)
>passed out a bar and had to get carried out (i no longer attend due to trying to clean up my act a bit)
>told i had sex with someone with literally no recollection of it whatsoever
>totaled a car a couple years ago, somehow didn't get dwi then
>pulled over on freeway and napped in my car, only to wake up to two cops waking me up telling me I couldn't chill there. The chick cop asked me if I had money if they called a tow truck driver I could have my car towed to my friends place instead of getting a dwi. I said yes and it was arranged
...I feel like my stories should be more entertaining but they're really just sad and expensive. Damn if only I'd have known about Uber then...
If all these stories seem like a normal night for you, why are they so much more strange and entertaining than the shit you manage to come up with?
This chick is awesome.
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>got arrested putting plants on cars

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Welcome to the 4th Annual /ck/ Top Master Iron Chef Ultimate Nightmare Kitchen Survivor Challenge!

If you're interested in competing, there are a few simple guidelines we ask you to follow. Your entry will be disqualified otherwise.

-Please timestamp your submission! Detailing the cooking process/posting a vertical is encouraged but not required. If posting multiple photos, you don't need to timestamp each one, as long as the final submission photo is timestamped.
-You MUST use a unique identifier; if you don't want to use a tripcode, you must have some other way to distinguish yourself from the other contestants, such as a cute bird or scary statue in your timestamped entry, as long as it's clearly visible and you use it consistently.

Voting will be carried out in this thread. Please read the voting guidelines below.



Voting follows an 'Iron Chef' style scoring system. This means you, the people of /ck/, will judge each entry individually instead of deciding on what you feel is the "best" dish.

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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So, this round goes from today through the 11th?? Just making sure.
To the 10Th, midnight Est time. New round goes up on the 11th in the evening (when i get home from work, compile all the votes, etc, usually around 18h)
Heads up: Anything that's FODMAP friendly will get my vote.

Good luck everyone.
>-Challenge Goals: How closely the entry followed the challenge goal(s)

So for this challenge this category is scored based on if its a breakfast dish or not? Like if I made pot roast I would get a zero or would I be disqualified?

Just curious on the scoring, not going to make an actual pot roast. Though a breakfast pot roast would be interesting....
Pretty much. You could make the best presented, original and appealing pot roast and get 15/20 if the voters (which is anyone on the board) feel it is not a breakfast pot roast. Points breakdown here >>6290927

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This looks hard to drink but it is very pleasant
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I tried a couple, mango was best.

It's mostly just lightly flavored water though and not worth the price. Chia seeds seem expensive but when you realize how little you need to make a drink like this (due to how much they can expand) it's not really that bad.
do you chew them or just drink the seeds
that shit is in my fridge
i have drank literally 1 oz of it
might as well get some jam and add water to it
super seedy, almost have to chew it
but u dont want to because the seeds get stuck in your teeth
ya drink it you tard.
A corner store still has a few bottles unopened in their window view. It's been there since '96.

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>I was employed at one of these franchise stores for 5 days before I was terminated. My first day on the job I noticed some very illegal and just gross things occurring in the kitchen of this store. I begin to record secrete video using my phone and after a few days of this I turned in everything I had captured to the local health department. A few days later, I was contacted by my manager to come in to work. On the telephone he states, ” I need you to come in to discuss some legal issues.”

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It has nothing to do with vegetarianism, it's just their in-house way of labeling things "low-fat" or "low-calorie".
thank you. i thought they were patting you on the shoulder for eating animal free food.
No one is that stupid though. If they want to force a Youtube celebrity to go viral they will try Reddit first.
Dude...alcohol does not treat you well.

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>I always save half of my steak for a steak sandwich the next day.
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What kind of sissy has leftover steak?
Steak sandwiches are awesome, the hole in the wall cafe down the road makes a damn good one.
>not steak and eggs

Why anon, you're missing out on the runny egg + steak combo
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Zeno pls go
why not just make 2 steaks?

ITT: School lunches. What was yours like? Did you buy often or only when the good stuff was trotted out.

>Be me 2002-2006
>High school in Hawaii
>Very diverse food menu
>Decent spaghetti
>Awesome chili
>Real salad with every meal
>Chicken patty sandwich for those who didn't care for what was being served that day
>Portuguese sausage slices over rice w/ scambled egg and fruit cup for breakfast
>Kalua Pork plate with rice and half cutlet of chicken katsu
>all for $1.
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You obviously have never been to Italy.

Their pizza is TERRIBLE, you might get lucky and find a decent pizza, but for the post part it's shit.

They love sticking fries, hot dogs, hamburger on a pizza and calling it a day

Better yet is when they trick tourists into buying an "authentic" pizza and it's watery tomato "sauce" and bit of cheese, then they burn it and serve it to you.
I went to at least 7 different schools, we had zero lunch programs, not even a monthly paid one.

I didn't even know schools had cafeterias until I went to high school, even then everyone had to pay for each item, there was no system, or pass.

literally this.

but there were some good days

>meatball sub day
>holiday diner themed ham, turkey, mashed potatoes
>chicken strips instead of nuggets

and the grandaddy of them all...

>mashed potato bowl with corn, gravy and popcorn chicken pieces

jesus christ, I need one of those
That's fucking weird. I thought most - if not every - would have a lunch program/breakfast program. Especially a damn cafeteria to eat in at least.

Vancouver here.
Ottawa, Cornwall, Oakville, Toronto, Niagara Falls

I moved around a lot, none of my elementary schools had cafeterias.
One had a little room where they served us milk

I remember once I forgot my lunch and I was really hungry so I went to the office...they gave me one NutriGrain Bar.

I cried.

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