Some chefs spend years perfecting the art of plating; tweezers, micro‑greens, sauces drizzled in shapes that require a protractor. But true culinary enlightenment arrives the moment you realize the highest Michelin standard is simply embracing the circle of life: no matter how elegant the dish, you and your digestive system are going to… reinterpret it.So why not cut out the middleman?A dish that already looks like the final product is actually avant‑garde. It’s honest. It’s bold. It’s the culinary equivalent of a philosopher saying, “We all end up dust anyway.” Except here, the dust is… well, you know.In fact, serving something that resembles diarrhea is practically a statement piece. It whispers, “I understand the human condition.” It screams, “Form follows function.” It winks, “Nature is the real chef and i certainly am not a cooklet.” Michelin inspectors call that depth of concept. Everyone else calls it “please don’t put that near me.”
>>21888629and I love my little dog and my doggy loves megonna cherish my dog under the green bay treeslittle dog goes bow wowlittle hen goes cluck clucklittle pig goes mm mmlittle duck goes quack quaacklittle guinea podderaaackand my rooster goesCOOOOCKA DOOODLE DOOOOOO DOODLE DOOO DOODLE DOOOO
>>21888639If this is a meme, it's one with which I am not familiar.
>>21888645just a niche moviethat's all little niggathat's allgoodnight
>>21888648niche movie about naked boyI'll stick to niche movie about naked girls k thx bai
>>21888645The movie is ‘Gummo’ and for some reason some autist is spamming that image all over the entire site.
Cooking webm thread!
>>21888730
>wen she can cook
Post your preferred rice to cook for everyday usage
>>21885263Me when I’m bored but eating Bugles
>>21886312I've used zebra. I haven't noticed a difference in taste from Royal or Shan. If you like it, keep using it. >>21886607I go through about 3 20lb bags a year. I've never noticed any bad aromas, but I don't know what you mean by long storage times. Rice lasts for years if stored properly.
almost a decade ago i purchased a bag of spanish bomba rice at what i considered an exorbitant price (9 euros/kilo). possibly the most satisfying grains i've ever had, it was almost like couscous. but i never repeated the purchase. the price seems to be double that now.
>>21886607It does but most people like itMakes it harder to cook, though, if you're having issues with it just use jasmine rice
Look I know, I know. But it's really quite good rice, like a hybrid that's best of both worlds kind of thing.
I fucking kneel.
>>21888354I kneel before noone and nothing.
>>21888354Only bitches kneel. OP confirmed faggot and cooklet.
>>21888407Being able to kneel in front of Shake and Bake without help is one of the best predictors of longevity
I can't believe I slept on this for so long I used to fry my shit the traditional way and it was so messy and tedious
>>21888354a challenger appears
What actually is the best brand of peanut butter? What's the trash brands?
The patricians choice is always Superman Peanut Butter
best unhealthy is peanut butter co white chocolate peanut butter or the skippy natural honey roasted otherwise it's teddy's or costco natural pb
yes
>>21888362>fake foodnah dawg
>>21884986holy shit they made peanut butter 2?
>Want to make chocolate chip cookies for the first time ever>First result when searching is Joshua Faggman but whatever I'll watch>Potato chips in the cookie doughWhat the fuck? Is this for real? Is it just a weird way of adding salt?
About the time that FUCKING MAGNETS; HOW DO THEY WORK?! nonsense from ICP came out, I read a recipe for potato chip cookies. I never tried it but it's supposedly a common thing in the Midwest and people I know who've tried it say that it's both pretty great and surprising I'd never heard of it before then.
>>21887015Nestles toll house recipe on every bag of chocolate chipshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3STSEzUnEc
>>21888007Yeah thats fair I assumed it was good but im thinking back on a few SE recipes that were total duds. I guess the only thing left is to stockpile Cooks Illustrated mags from 2000-2010
>>21887584>americas test kitchen, Cooks Illustratedowned by Neuberger Berman (Marquee Brands). Also owns Martha Stewart, Emeril Lagasse (intellectual property, branding, TV rights, product lines but not the restaurants)
>>21887588Probably because the dude was obnoxious even before he tried to be the mr beast of food tubing.
What are some genuinely humble and comforting meals you make that aren't trying to be impressive or full of finesse. They just taste and feel good. Recipes and photos welcome!
>>21885590Nice AI sloppa, I love getting soft boiled egg yolk all over my hairy unshucked peas.For me, it’s an open faced egg and cheese bake that gets folded over at the end for a half quesadilla. Greek yogurt and an optional splash of hot sauce
>>21885603Very comfy.>>21887245Sounds like some work but worth it>>21888497I should make some cheese n egg quesadillas this week
Top ramen, strained before adding packet. Add gross amounts if mayo and butter. Place in large flower tortillas with cheese and a dash of hot sauce. Maybe salsa if I'm feeling fancy.Top ramen burritos.
>>21888497Based. Would.
>>21885712BASED GIZZARD ENJOYER
Post your caffeinated bubbly drink of Choice
>>21886730do it anon, get lean
This but I don't think you can even buy it anymore in Germany, where they only sell garbage "safe" flavors like some faggot fruits mix.
>>21887191Danke Merz.
>>21886548The worst generation.
Post YOUR secret ingrident
>>21883718mmm metal
>>21874552And here I was thinking I was the only one using my cum to cook
duck fat and my spice mix that is just a jar full of all the left over spices from past meals
Lacto-fermented tomato water. Shit tastes like the essence of a tomato. I made mine based on the Noma cookbook
Is anyone celebrating Chinese/lunar new year?Cook-along thread as I begin prep for tomorrow's dinnerWill probably be making siu yuk (roasted pork belly, pictured), char siu (BBQ pork), and maybe soy sauce chickenBlanching the pork belly in some ginger, scallion, wine
Char siu in the oven. Apparently there will be a lot of food so no soy sauce chicken, even though it's extremely easy to make.
Char siu. Heading out. Will take pics of slices/dishes and post if possible
>>21888231Reminds me of my mom's charsiu. Except she makes it in a frying pan and only uses five spices.
>>21887682>>21887686I’m not normally into pork belly but I’d scarf these down>>21888231Fantastic color on that
Finished. Should have cut the siu yuk a bit thinner and more evenly. Had 1/3 of the siu yuk left over which I didn't cut and I left one of the char siu slabs at home too. So will be nice meals for the rest of the week with some rice and veg or buns.Hosts forgot to take a spread of the other dishes but they were all solid. Melon soup, veg, roast duck, steamed egg, abalone in oyster sauce. Dessert was a red date rice year cake (nian gao), taro sago, and then some cookies and macarons.Happy Chinese new year everyone!
I feel like chicken tonight... like chicken tonight!*flaps elbows like wings*
>>21888142You're going to be rich because you know where to find RED WATER.
>>21888198It's still quite popular in Australia.
>>21888215and that's why no one really cares
>>21888188>tfw no chicken tonight tonight
>>21888198It was the funniest thing among my jackass friends in junior high at the time. I never did try the product. Apparently the ads didn't work on my mother.
There are so many varieties of Blueberries. I took note of all the different varieties I ate the previous two years and there was over 30.I swear I can differentiate between three varieties and that's it. Why constitutes a variety and who gets to name them?What's your favorite and what would you name your blueberry?
>>21886181>I’d want to name it… saphire blueberry?No...? They all already have names, you don't get to name them.
>>21886496From the OP> What's your favorite and what would you name your blueberry?
>>21886162no clue on what variety they are, but i have spent many a summer on Lake of the Woods eating wild blueberries. the wild ones always btfo of storebought
Varieties I've eaten:Stella BlueBiloxiEurekaRocioEarly BlueBlue AromaSundownStarAzulDukeCorrinaKirraComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>21886162I’ve grown a couple patriot and blueray, between the two I like patriot better. Been a little warm here this winter and I think they’re already putting out leaves, hoping there isn’t a late freeze>>21886181How about Star Sapphire?
Guys, it's 2026.You need to let this pan go.
>>21885076fpbp, a little barkeeper's friend will clean that right up.
>>21885075It's fine, I'll just throw some foil on it.
>>21888270Al loo men ee umm
>>21885075Why does this thread keep coming up?Because you post in it and don't ignore or sage it.
>>21885076TWO, NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
aussies invented the caesar salad
>>21883448Didn't he claim crip anyways he should've picked a blue wine.
>>21883460What's the point of pouring cans into a glass?
>>21887434You feel classier
>>21887804Uh anon is your brain working okay? Thats an American made, American-designed salmon dish sold by an American chain restaurant.
>>21883431>too many croutons There is never enough croutons anywhere, you’re a coward. t. Crouton eater since age 7.
For me, its Jason's Deli.
>broccoli cheese soup>quarter turkey muffaletta>reuben the great>wild salmonwich>nutty mixed up salad>plain jane>salad barit's true. they used to have texas dr pepper on tap, you can get chocolate/vanilla/swirl soft serve >for free if you dine in, they barely glare at you if you steal all the different crackers and bread from the salad bar without buying one, the kids jane is huge enough you don't need a full potato, the chips are goat, sargeant pepper used to be good (or was it beefeater?), got good hibiscus tea, the seasonal offerings are fun. i'm mad they took away that papa verde though, the baked sweet potato with spinach, roasted turkey, chopped avocado, jalapeno ranch, and asiago. shit was so cash. i crave it all the time... also i don't think they've ever fucked up an order even once which is incredibly impressive to me. they had a good pasta primavera but that was forever ago.
>>21879085Looks suspiciously like a forty year old OnlyFans model.
>>21879018There was also a salad place called Sweet Tomato or something like that
>>21879004It's funny because it used to be the go to place you'd bulk order for corporate lunches. Now you see that taken over by Panera and Chick-fil-a
>>21883224Past employee here. Prior to Covid the crackers, muffins, and garlic toast were complimentary just the like the soft serve. They’d leave the small plates out at the salad bar for anyone to grab. Now you have to go ask for the plate at the end of the serving line, they’ll begrudgingly hand it over. You got it right, the Sargent pepper is a just a modified beefeater, don’t know if they make them anymore. Funnily enough the kids Jane or any lite potato is a full baked potato. The default size potato is actually a potato and a half, we’d just cut the tip off the full size potato and place the half and then cut across vertically. You can’t really tell since it’s fully loaded. If you’re looking for a really good secret/old menu item, ask for the Au Broc potato, it’s pretty much a Jane minus the sour cream and they ladle a cup of broccoli cheese soup into it before they start to load it up.
