How does one gain and develop self confidence/self esteem? As I work on my social skills and get exposure (which hasn't been working that well) this is a glaring issue and its affecting my ability to be social and connect with others. I don't have any close friends and have never asked a girl out (been asked out by girls, didn't work out because I'm retarded). In fact, I've drifted away from all my friends except for work friends (not real friends according to some on here, we don't hang out or text/talk outside of work). I think my issues stem from a combination of factors from my upbringing to lack of socialization (especially early on, and peer rejection) and insecurity about it. I possibly have social anxiety as well. I am 27 years old, just feel life slipping by as I sit in my bedroom on the computer. I find myself paralyzed by inaction at times when I try to be plan things such as going on a trip or getting involved in more activities such as going to church, going /out/, learning more about /o/ and seeking out people with these interests. In fact I don't even know where to start. I have a good job and work out regularly (although I do struggle with self discipline and lethargy in the mornings too and miss gym days). Any advice for me? I know there have been similar threads before, but I feel my situations a little different than others because I'm not a NEET and did have prior experience but still found myself isolated like this (possibly depression? Autism? I don't know). I still have close family, they're all I really have. I just tend to alienate people for some reason and I don't know why
>>32624020Confidence should go hand in hand with competence. I can be confident that I can produce results based on past experiences, which confirm I am competent in a certain field to a certain degree. I trust that this competence is reliable over time.If you're not the top 1 in a certain field, just be humble enough to judge where you should place yourself in the competition. Don’t think of yourself as worthless,that’s not judgment, it's hate. But also, don’t think you’re more deserving than most, because it stirs envy and discord. Simply place yourself where you belong, and don’t take the opinion of the mob to heart. The mob holds the views of people who are not fit to judge, or those who offer contradictory advice. Judge carefully who is worthy of your attention and whether their intentions are genuine.Wicked judgment is real, and humiliation is real. Wicked people will tear down your confidence because they can’t stand it. If they find a crack where you doubt yourself, they’ll exploit it to tear you down for their own pleasure.Self-esteem, on the other hand, is more about what you feel you deserve or don’t deserve. In my case, no matter how lonely things get, I cannot tolerate being around people I find unpleasant, cynical, or wicked. I have enough of just being myself. Even if I am sometimes those things to some degree, I don’t believe that dwelling in misery makes things nobler or better. It only pulls you down. I’ve had enough of being a "shitty" person, and even if I deserve some criticism due to my faults, it won’t be fixed by rotting in angst, shame, or regret. Instead, it’s about working and making myself uncomfortable in pursuit of something "virtuous" (whatever that thing lies). Whether that path works for me in the end or not is not entirely up to me.
>>32624020>been asked out by girls, didn't work out because I'm retardedstopped reading there.
contemplate death
>>32624020I decided to just enjoy being shit/trash, as well as being mid or goodThat worked. Try that
>>32624463>>32624658Guys come on now>>32624664I desire to be more
>>32624668contemplate death, relinquish desire, realize all of reality is precisely now, filtered through your limited perceptions. The minds of men and women are islands unto themselves, only united by a metaphysical sea.you do not need to be ""socialized."" you do not need carnal knowledge of another woman. you have been fed lies about what it means to have a good life, and what it means to be a man. confidence will come when you see beyond the bounds of your insignificant life, and realize all that which you strive for, all those who judge you, is destined for rot and decay.Embrace what you have; your family will not live forever. If you truly wanted something different more than what you have right now, you would make the sacrifices to get there.
>>32624785What sacrifices?
