How do you find a good woman? I'm 6'2, decent looking face, muscular with low bodyfat, making a 6 figure income, a few hundred k saved up to index funds, no criminal history or debt. I feel I've done everything right and have been a morally good person helping people even when there's nothing to benefit, but somehow struggle to find any woman that inspires me to be a better man. How would you advise I find a good woman to build a family with? I'm at the point where I want that or will just settle being alone while helping my parents/brothers and passing my money to them in my will.
>>34649462It's not very good, hence why I keep my day job. Mainly electronic music and paintings I hang around my place or give away. I just try to work on them every day. Maybe I'll be decent in another decade.
>>34649484>electronic music and paintingsHave you tried going to venues/areas that are based around those interests? Would give you something to showoff/connect with.
>>34649493I go to a lot of concerts for artists I genuinely love and sometimes join little music production clubs and DJ at little venues like art galleries. I've met some decent people from it, but never any girl I felt was worth asking out. I just do all this because I want to create the things I wish existed.In all honesty most these people are larps that just want to seem important for Instagram/external validation and likely will never make anything decent because of that. I rather get good enough where people reach out to me to collaborate and I would only accept if I appreciate their body of work as well.
>>34649530Alright well that's good. Yeah having a lot of people just clout chasing sucks. As you get better you can probably find more serious people. Keep improving, but also try to make some connections because you never know.
>>34648812All the attractive women who would make great wives and mothers are taken in high school and college the latest. Whatever remains is taken shortly after they enter the workforce. There exist very few good looking women that are single and have a good heart, are modest, raised in a decent family, soft spoken and pretty. The window of opportunity when they are single is very very narrow. These are the 2% of women, the highest stock of females this wonderful creation can offer. If you don't frequent their circles or the events they attend you have no chance of meeting them. Women also don't go anywhere alone, so whatever hobbies women have or events they attend it is done with their husband or boyfriend and if they are single with their groups of friends.tldr; there simply aren't enough single good looking young white women to go around for everybody, they are rare and exist mostly in very niche places where men without social circles (loners) can't get in to
so there's this girl i like and my friends told me i should post myself (i only have like 2 photos from 2024 on my account) but i can't help but feel like a cringy faggot who wants attention online if i do so, anyone feels the same? i know it's my account and that i SHOULD post myself and stuff i do but i don't really like social media, it makes me feel weird. i was thinking about webcam photos like this (i kinda look like this dude too)
if youre gonna post an instagram photo at least put some effort into it. webcam photos are lazy. take photos of major achievements like graduating college, or your birthday, or going somewhere interesting. the people that just post random selfies are insecure. thats why women do it all the time
>>34643262No homo and honestly speaking, you're very attractive, you'd do very well on instagram in general regardless of the type of pics you upload, even if you don't get with the girl you want you'd definitely get DMs from other girls no problem.
>>34644240This is true anon
Just ask her out if you know her irl
>>34643262Your height?
around a week+ ago was my birthday (won't say the exact date for obvious reasons), and like every birthday since i was around 9, it felt like just another day - i didn't have a birthday party since i was about 9 and usually got no birthday gifts besides from one person in my family (usually between 50-100$)most of them have been spent completely alone, usually on my hobbies, differing in almost no way compared to other days, besides that my immediate family (3 people) would say happy birthday to methis one was no different, but it hurt because i thought i would at least invite this older person i've known since i was a baby, and that we would all eat a pizza together (including my immediate family). i went to their house when it was their birthday and gave them a gift, tried to spend time with them, and i didn't really care that much about having a "birthday" as much as i wanted to just maintain the few relationships i have in my life. but they said no, and it hurt a lot when i heard it, but i just pretended not to care and shrugged it off. after that, my (immediate) family had something come up and said we would go to dinner tomorrow, and i just ordered food instead. then tomorrow, my (immediate) family did really want to go on a lunch, but i just felt sad over the day before and didn't really see a point in going, so i just ordered food again and ate it by myself in my roomno one else besides my (immediate) family and the person i spoke about above said happy birthday. only 3 people in my immediate family. i don't really know why i care, since that was a constant since i was a child, but i think it's a reminder of just how alone i am
>>34649343that is to say, even the "good" people as you say, are biologically still prone to the same rules as the "evil" people, the only difference is in how morality shaped this behavior.if you are objectively unattractive, you will be unattractive to "evil" and "good" people equally, and the end result of your treatment will be the same regardless of the paths that lead to that - a "bad" person might make fun of you for it, while a "good" person might simply avoid you - your end result, or destination is just about the same either way, exclusion
>>34649343I apologise. I was aiming to console your heart but instead it seems I have hit at your mind instead, since you seem to be elaborating on your intellectual views now instead of focusing on your own life or feelings. This is probably because I am not good enough at talking from the heart.In any case, I wish you all the best. I hope that you will find the joy, peace and positive experiences you seek.
>>34649371no, it's not your fault, it's just that there's nothing to console. i've cried so much that i don't cry anymore, i just feel an underlying sadness about the reality of life. it's why i say, i don't even want relationships anymore. if i keep getting money, and signal it to other people, then inevitably i will finally be given a chance to have what i have wanted my entire life - relationships with other people. sounds great? except it's not, i don't want relationships anymore. i don't want to hear another person speak again anymore. i know that i will have chances to have relationships in the future with people, yet i do not want them anymore. ironic, isn't it?my memory is getting significantly worse, sometimes i do not remember the day before, and sometimes even days before. i detach, depersonalize and derealize a lot.
>>34649343>"evil" and "good" are human attributes and explanations for actions, that are therefore also subjectiveI've been struggling with this for the past couple of months now too. Most people either don't notice, or they choose to believe life has some greater purpose that justifies all of the cruelty. Or they abandon empathy and pursue a selfish lifestyle instead. I have no advice for you, because I am currently a hopeless nihilist myself but I can recommend something to pass the time. If you don't mind anime, give Puella Magi Madoka Magica a watch; it grapples with moral relativism as one of it's themes.
>>34649518Oh and happy birthday too, I forgot to add that to the post. It's funny how everybody's a little different, I personally don't care much for birthdays because saying happy birthday to someone always feels trite.
A red-flagian e-girl got a crush on me somehow. She's smart and hot apart from the red flag stuff and has been kind of seducing me through chats. Thing is I'm an incel and do not know how to be intimate, I don't care about the red flags since I'm lonely and she is too and we might get along (I want to believe) but I don't want to push her away due my lack of exp given how we are old already and it's weirdany tips?
>oldhow old? And what are the redflags?
>>34649354>old3X>redflagsold and single(ex?)pot headkind of pseudo-hippy vibesthat sumarize it
>>34649376>Old and singleThose aren't red flags. Age isn't a behaviour or a personality trait, being single is a green flag, unless you want to date married women?>Ex pot headAmber flag if it's true that she stopped. Red flag if she lied and still smokes>Pseudo-hippy vibesRed flagOverall the relationship sounds like it would be a mistake. You admit you only want to start it out of soothing loneliness and not out of genuine admiration for her as a person. Those types of relationships always die.
>>34649467>not out of genuine admiration for her as a personI don't know if I admire her, she intrigues me and I find she has a lot of virtues (and she seems to like me). We are barely getting to know each other yet
How do I stop being serious and boring? I've been like this since about 10th grade and its ruining my life. I'm not a naturally funny guy, sometimes people laugh at my jokes but I find it difficult to laugh at others' jokes, even if I find it funny. This could possibly be 'blunted affect' but thats besides the point. How do I become a fun, chill guy who isnt so uptight all the time? I'm at the point where coworkers straight up tell me that I'm too serious. Please help.
>>34646685be a little more interested in others, don't talk so much
>>34646685You have tism. Talk less. Observe. Watch movies and adopt personality traits
Grass is always greener, I used to be the 'funny guy' and people always treated everything I did and said as a joke. If you are going to try anything, try to feel more comfortable with yourself, this will naturally make you behave more authentic and therefore be more charming.
If I'm the blue labels and I'm attracted to women in the pink labels, where would I be most likely to find my match?
>>34640114>Brainbleedis a term used to describe the kind of mental pain you receive when you see someone being more autistic than you. Contrapoints made a video called "cringe" where she kind of mentions how people obsessed with Chris Chan are kind of Chris Chan themselves. It's a bit like that. People tend to say they cringe when someone stubs their toe or makes a social blunder.But brain bleed specifically, that is the more slowcutting thing you can’t stop as you see someone be autistic over and over again constantly and you can’t stop it. It’s hemorrhaging your brain as it’s been lacerated over and over again with every autism moment made right before your eyes. It is the defining reason why masked autists deny to themselves that they have it.
>>34640145Dr Who, Supernatural, Sherlock is included in the vibe images above. It’s a trifecta of shows typically enjoyed by dads (including my dad) that young adult women go crazy for. A bit like how MLP reached the wrong autistic target audience. But yea, I specifically included SuperWhoLock to both include the show itself and the oddity of the autistic target audience mismatch
>>34639574I imagine you can probably find sports autists in their natural habitat on /sp/
>>34642384Yea it’s just a bunch of tourists rn (including me). But yea I’ve always said: every board is a special interest
>>34639604really really cool image anon, any more like this?
I recently noticed something on my body that could be a sign of bad posture.As shown in the picture one side is a bit curved while the other one is pretty much straigth (sorry for the lack of specific terminology, english is not my native language).I exaggerated the effect in the image to better show the problem.I suppose this is caused by the big amount of time I spend sitting in front of a computer.Do you know any way to fix this before it becomes worse/permanent?
>>34641970let me guess one arm muscle is much more developed than the other as well
>>34644563im not vaxed nigger nor have i ever had a blebbit account in my life. unlike you i live in a White city where doctors are White too and actually want to help people.>>34644105bullshit cope
>>34644563>destroying my body to own the redditorsretard
>>34641970>flat foot>tibia twists>knee collapses>hips become uneven with one higher than the otherFix yuor feet
I really enjoy flirting with my neighbour and I would like to act a bit more spicy towards her but I'm mega autistic and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable.She's very friendly towards me and I often chat her up and give her a compliment or two which she always appreciate.Unfortunatly, she married so I can't just ask her out on a date . I''m in my late twenties while she's in mid fourties. Should I try to shoot my shot or just keep casually flirting with her?
Friend inside me
I'm Kyle and I'm racist
>>34646822IF a married older woman wants you she will grab your dick and say lets go. Being polite and engaging in flirty harmless banter is no where near that. Be ready to move if you take your shot.
>>34648635She's seems to be quite religious so I imagine she's rather prudish. However, she dresses like a bombshell.
>>34648799How hot is she?
I like to love, but I don’t like being loved. Is there a word for this?
as another anon mentioned attachment styles, i thought this book has been helpful at least adding a vocabulary to some of the things i feel and see. you might learn something from the book like you are an anxiously attached person who's drawn to avoidant people because their aloofness affirms your own perception that you're a needy unlovable person. idk you, but try the book out or some yt videos about attachment theory.
>>34646350abusive
>>34647737Why
it's called being a coward, hope that helps
>>34646350Low self esteem.You hate yourself so you think anyone who loves you must be fucking retarded therefore you hate them too
i need to make a thread for myself and all those who struggle with sleeping because sleep deprivation is destroying you, it makes you more depressed, more crazy, more horny. nothing is worth staying up late for. GO TO BED EARLIER! GO TO BED AT LIKE 9PM!i keep staying up scrolling and watching absolute shit, i know in part it is my deepest inner drives searching for a mate, but i won't find her if i am sleep deprived and retarded.sleep is the major factor in most of my emotional problems. GET MORE SLEEP.
>>34640027you wanna know something crazy? they are caused by sinus problems. sinus blockage causes blood to get trapped around your eyes giving you dark circles. i have dark rings too and permanent sinus problems.
staying out late and drinking with the boys doesn't help. gonna quit drinking and socializing late.
>>34632296that image captures it quite wellthe negative thoughts spiral so easily when you’re running on almost nothing and everything feels heavierit’s also noticeable physically... you get migraines and recover more slowly from pains or injuries>GO TO BED EARLIER! GO TO BED AT LIKE 9PM!even though you caught me there, lately i’ve been sleeping until midnight or +1am!... I wake up around 8 or 9am but I know it’s not idealit's just where I am the days are ridiculously LONG right now so it’s kind of hard to feel like going to bed much earlier when it’s still light out so late, 9pm feels kind of unrealistic
>>34646048>the negative thoughts spiral so easily when you’re running on almost nothing and everything feels heavierthat's what i want to avoid
>>34649224right... in my case I think i’m lucky it doesn’t feel as heavy for me most of the time... because the people close to me tend to be careful and try to shield things a littleso even when i haven’t slept enough the thoughts don’t accumulate or persist in the same way, thanks to this I suppose... it makes a difference even if I don’t always notice it right awayand it makes my situation a bit different I guess, so I don’t really have helpful advice to give... apart from the fairly evident need to stay clear of negative environments in generalsorry if this doesn’t add much
>live in one city all my life>even went to a foreign country and didn't like it>came back>began university which is surprisingly great>met few people>every single person I know is either a hard alcoholic, a total autist that prefers to stay home or univeristy tryhard that studies non stop>my only bet at actually meeting someone is either randomly going to gym with one female friend or waiting till there's a drinking event with friendsAll my life was like this, ever since childhood. Except drinking became the main focus since we had our 16th bday. I just have no fucking clue what could I do in this dead city. Every normal person is leaving to a bigger city to pursue a life there. I have finished one year of my university and I'm liking it.I either take the plunge and go to a different city where I have to live in a shared flat with random people whose habits would piss me off or stay in this city and make-do
>>34649137Sound like you're good where you are, don't move.
I ultimately want them to be happy but I'm scared something bad might happen to them constantly when I'm not around. I'm paranoid about everyone else in their life potentially hurting them. Also how do I balance between spending time with someone and being clingy?
>>34646174Cuck mentality. Sorry to hear all of these issues specific to you
Make "not my fucking problem" your mantra. Also stop listening to them complaining so much, cut it down by 80%-90%. I was like you and then at one point I got so worried that I couldn't sleep. This doesn't help anyone. Put yourself first to put everyone first.Also, visit a psychologist to rule out any paranoid conditions.
>>34648934>Put yourself first to put everyone first.Damn. I have been looking for a way to express this idea for month and you nail it with a simple sentence. Thank you I will borrow it.
>>34649125It becomes really obvious when you end up nuking yourself for someone else and they are the exact same way they were before. Can't help anyone if you aren't sleeping well, eating well, resting well and feeling at least relatively well.
>>34649141narcissists yes, the bane of humanity, can't love them, can't hate them, you can still love them but, like, low key
for the past 2 years, I've been working on getting my bachelor's degree in CS. i can tolerate living here by basically ignoring my mom, pretending she doesn't exist, and leaving the house as much as possible. but i'm starting to wonder if the degree is the right path. my mom basically crippled me by not teaching me how to drive. a lot of internships need a car to get to. and i don't have any friends in this city because i came at a later age and no car. i will be getting 2 part-time jobs soon but it might not be enough to save up for a car + driving school. would love to have a regular retail job but they don't like hiring students (even tho they barely give hours nowadays).the only reason why i'm not getting kicked out is because she does that thing where after an argument, she'd say "you can always leave you know" and i did. i became homeless and almost died in the attempt. so now she just doesnt say anything probably out of guilt. since then i've been very patient working on this degree just so i can find a decent job that lets me live by myself. but i'm losing confidence that this is the right path. there's a really terrible tech recession right now. i want to be a software engineer but that's out of reach for someone in my financial situation.what are my options really? i just want long-term stability and independence. after i graduate college, i'm thinking of finding any retail job that lets me work full-time and then finding roommates to survive rent. then focus on building an SWE portfolio and looking for internships. not really confident in that plan.
>>34648160You already assumed it in your post. I also told you the answers, but you prefer to devise excuses, beacuase real change would require you to change your life to much and youre a conformist, at least given what you wrote so far. You etheir cant read or dont want to hear answers.
>>34648199no, you would rather listen to what you THINK i am saying than actually listen to what i am saying. i literally just told you what i am doing exactly in the OP. i am not sitting on my ass doing nothing. i literally just told you everything right there. but somehow people are more fixated on the fact that i am openly voicing how much i dont like a person in my life who has done me wrong and happens to be my mother. she has set me back in many ways by not being a good parent and i am allowed to acknowledge that and react to how that person treated me accordingly. it is not "acting the victim." i am acknowledging that a lot of the shitty things that happened to me were out of my control and i can be lenient on myself instead of wallowing in depression like a lot of NEETs and hikkikomoris do. that is precisely why i am able to take responsibility for my life now and make decisions for my future.
>>34648215Acknowleding is one thing, making a post in /adv ane bitching that your mom didnt teach you how to drive is another.You want to segway into some other shit, but the OP was about you being in shitty situation because your mother didnt prapare you for adulthood.I dont defend her, i belive you tgat she is toxic, but at the same time you are an adult and she supports still supports you while you acquire education. You have a choice, ethier try to get some job in bigger city where no license isnt the issue and go from thereor just keep studing while relying on your family and thus tolerate toxicity. I belive you just want to vent and arent prepared to do 1st thing tho, thats what I have trpuble with., /adv isnt for venting.
>>34645790First make sure you're not financially dependant on them. Then, proceed the stage of acceptance, I didn't read your post because don't care but start accepting in your heart that you don't love them as much as you think you do, since they are toxic. Acceptance, tough, but need it. Finally, develop discipline to limit contact with them and create your own family as well as more friends and work relationships maybe. Good luck.
>>34645790I'll let you know when I find out.>t. 28 and still living with toxic family, probably will continue to do so for the next several years and/or until my mother bankrupts my dad and makes us homelessIf you are studying CS then do a good job and commit to the path, people will try to demoralise you but you should ignore them, you don't need the economy to be good you just need a fucking job, and that's a lot easier to get. Plus push come to shove you can do an MSc in ML and jump in on the AI bubble.>after i graduate college, i'm thinking of finding any retail jobUhhh maybe but try to get a CS job first and keep looking for CS jobs while you are working. Also, keep in mind that you can contact a recruiter agency and while they will pocket some of your money these people are also pretty good at getting jobs.Anyway I know this might sound crazy, but believe in yourself. You will endure what you must and you will find the way you must walk. Things feel hard and complex when you grow up in a stressful environment but often in life stuff will just work out for you. Hasn't happened for me but both of my bum parents got a ton of opportunities presented to them on a silver platter despite not deserving, doing, or planning for any of them. All it takes is a little bit of luck. So believe in yourself and keep playing the roulette of life. It's the only form of gambling that it pays off to keep playing.Good luck chief.
Spent my entire life trying to "improve" myself, asking myself what is wrong with me. Now, I realized life was stacked against men for reasons outside of my control. I never fit in, shamed and excluded just for you being me. Glimpses of hope exist, but they fade just as quickly as they enter life. You constantly have to mask your real self just to get a resemblance of fitting in, which tears on your energy. Struggling nevertheless for a better life with deep hope and restless optimism, sometimes even getting very close, only to be beaten down again and again, either from perils of your own mind and body (acne for decades since being 12, permanent visible health damage from a treatment based on a misdiagnosis), or from the outside. And some day, after struggling for years and years, its enough, you burnt out, gave up, accepted your lot. Realizing I have introverted ADHD was, on the one hand very good, as I realized there is nothing inherently wrong with me, that I am just wired differently, just as millions of others are. This massively boosted my feelings self worth. On the other hand, it drained me of all will to fight. I will never win the battle against a differently wired brain. I will always be weird, not a part of the group, never able to fully utilize my intellectual capacity. Why still try to live and subject myself to all the pain associated with trying? For fleeting moments of happiness that arent even guaranteed to happen?>inb4 just be happy alone Sadly human is a social creature. I have yet to see someone saying this who isnt massively coping.
>>34648998>Will medication resolve this if this is a course that I genuinely am interested in?The short answer is yesThe long answer is no but also yes.To skip a big monologue, ADHD people say the meds don't fix your life, it's you who fixes it. The meds just sharpen and stabilise focus, but you have to manually use that focus on productive things using your own choices. But in reality yes they help. They give you the extra boost needed for expanded focus to begin with. They help you stick with shit you don't enjoy but have to get done for a greater goal. Like cleaning your house, making your dinners, actually remembering to shower. Etc. all that shit improved for me after meds. Even got a job and stuck with it for almost two years now and I relatively enjoy it. Also got a wife and kids and am competent at it. Without meds I regress back into a scatter brained mess who can't even think straight.
>>34649052I have relied upon routines and willpower until now, but I am no longer able to gather up willpower of any sort and am watching all of the schedules and small progress that I made last year crumble away, and I am too withdrawn and exhausted to react.I am so desperate that I have finally forced myself to begin the process for ADHD diagnosis and hopefully medication, but I fear it may be too late since I have heard that it takes forever for that process to finish, that and my parents are fed up with me.Is there anything I can do in the meantime to hold it together? I have started using caffeine and nicotine in large quantities (this helps me get out of bed in the morning) and might start doing HIIT exercises to keep myself focused and motivated.
>>34649103Well first off, you might wanna check for any contributing factors that lead to your derailment. You said you relied upon routines and willpower and it dissolved, and now you're watching your way of life crumble bit by bit and you've no life in you to fight back and get shit back in order.Has anything major happened in your life within the past 5 years? Anything from:>Moving home>Getting fired>Changing jobs>Lost a long term friendship>Went through a break up from a meaningful romantic relationship >Diagnosed with physical disease>Suffered any severe injury that resulted in hospitalisation>Witnessed a severe injury that was as brutal>Witnessed the sickness of close relatives or friends (their diseases or their decline mentally)>Had a death in your close circle (family/friends)>Had a near death incident occurComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34649129That is the thing, nothing really happened for those 5 years and that has been a huge blow for my self-esteem since I used to always have an achievement of some sort.That and how I was somewhat forced to be the host to extended family, since I study online, for a few months towards the end of last year. As soon as they left I basically started sleeping in everyday and stopped going to the gym. I have also barely made progress in my current course which was supposed to 'be the one' and help me find stable employment, but my withdrawal from my studies has started to affect my sleep and is causing me to feel daily anxiety and dread. I do not know if I am going to make it in 2026.
>>34649165Hmm yeah that's strange if nothing severe or dramatic happened in your life and you spontaneously caught depressive or inattentive issues. I firmly believe all things have their causes, including things like depression or isolation or social withdrawal or demotivation. They all gotta start from somewhere. Figuring that out is tricky enough with investigating life shit or personal history. But there's other crazy causes too. Black mold is one. Dead serious. I've met so many people in my time who, lead a relatively stable life, moderately successful, their moods the same as everyone, mostly neutral, plenty of happy moments, and sometimes normal lows. Cuz life is highs and lows that's normal. But all of a sudden they just slip into dissociative depressive lalaland, their focus is shattered, motivation is fucked everything out of nowhere, just rolls in like a fog in their life.Then they figure out their home had black mold spores somewhere, could be under a bed behind a fridge, splotches of black fungus, small circular clusters in the home.That fucking mold can cause crazy shit for the mind if you are in prolonged exposure. Can even be in a relatively clean home just hiding. It causes depression, anxiety, dissociation, brain fog, lethargy after a while of being in the same space as it.
I often hear this advice when I talk about having missed out on my youth and the social developmental milestones which didn't happen with me and that I'm soso young and that I still can turn my life around. But where is that "outside"?I go to the arthouse cinema every week but most of the people are there in groups and the single ones disappear the moment the credits stopped rolling. I've been doing this for 3 years now and I only embarassed myself three times. (nothing happened)I have no real friends that could invite me anywhere (parties)Nobody goes to clubs/bars/festivals/concerts alone and they're fucking expensive>join a sports clubI suck at every sport that isn't swimming, I might be genuinely handicapped.So /adv/, where should I go?
>>34645698What part of that exactly sounds hellish? Keep in mind I'll be starting my drive after a 12 hour shift. :3
>>34639225Wargaming group, bridge club, line dancing, knitting circle, photography class, birding group, walking club, museum tour, opera, theatre, dance, poetry reading, stand up club, drum circle, cycle touring, Friday night Magic,
>>34646094Sleeping outside 3 nights in a row does it for me. That feeling when the cold wakes you up every 5 minutes and there's literally nothing else to do but accept it.Tfw being with other people who haven't showered for 3 days, too. Very Bad stink.Especially if you have to drive back home afterwards together.Never had a satisfying meal during one of those either. Forget about drinking milk.And then of course getting injured sucks a lot too, but that's not guaranteed to happen.But you will have to talk to the other people but it's like what is there to talk about? I'd get in fights with anyone after 3 days of all that other stuff. I'd probably end up killing and eating the co-hikers lol.
>>34647373>the cold wakes you up every 5 minutesYou're doing it wrong.
>>34639384>2026>Not going to Thailand to make friends
