How do you deal with aggressive combative people without looking like a weak bitch? You know the kind that just got out of prison and have this alpha beat the shit out of you attitude every time they talk?
De escalate and just walk away. God fucking help you if they're a coworker, but they probably won't be for long.
>>34974837>if they're a coworkergod I fucking hope not
>>34974829You try your best to avoid interacting with them. You aren't in prison, so you don't have to prove anything
Why is going alone to the movies considered sad and pathetic when you're not even supposed to be talking while watching anyway?
>>34973763>>34973841>going alone to the movies considered sad and pathetic Do normies really? I thought people did this quite regularly
>>34973800You can talk about the movie afterwards?
>>34973863Not unless they’re teenagers.
I swear to God how many times do i have to see this pic
>>34973901I talk to my friends about movies but we don't watch them together.
Stemfag that went to a hiring event today at a major defence company. There were 13 candidates, 10 whit*ids, 2 chinks, and me (nigger). My grades are subpar and I have decent work experience but somehow managed to get a same day offer. I don't know why they were so interested in me besides needing a somewhat competent nig. I mean, Timmy's money belongs to me so it doesn't matter either way
>>34974706>>My grades are subpar and I have decent work experienceLol
>>34974706Want to fuck my wife?
I guess diversity quotas
good bait lol I kek'd
I'm very high-strung and stress myself out. It annoys me that other people are high-strung and stress themselves out. It's not just okay to complain, that's a human right. but when people are trying to act gangsta and coy about it, it annoys me. Just fucking complain. It's not my problem. Make it my problem if you want a solution or to at least bitch about something specific. I am mad because people have specific complaints and don't air them and are not heard. We are not screaming loud enough for God to hear us. We are not even screaming loud enough for our supervisors to hear us. I'm guilty of the same and vagueposting right now. Why can't we complain properly?
>>34974623
>>34974645Things are bad for everyone and we can't communicate why they are bad for everyone.
I try to take it easy but get upset at the little things, and it upsets me when people are upset at the little things. I know it's what we shouldn't be doing, and it pisses me off that other people are supposed to be better at this and can't do it.
I don't know how the world works anymore. I don't know what living is about.I got bullied and survived, I studied and passed, I got a job and I had no use for the money. Now seeing the account get drained I know I need money, I need to eat and pay the time wasting entertainment. My family disbanded and now I'm alone. Wherever I go I'm no more than a nice stranger and it stays like that even if I keep hanging about. All gets compounded since I don't find anything fun anymore, I have nobody to share with and sharing is like 40-60% of the shit so it loops.I used to love games, anime, etc. The fuck does it matter anymore. All I can think of now is something went wrong along the way, can't keep looking at it, so I think I have to sort my shit out instead. It's been "Sorting shit" mode for years, and it only drives people away and strays farther back from the solution.Shed me a light.
Mental state isn't real, it's just some rng noise shit your brain generates in a poor attempt to get you to move. Simply bypass the entire bad communication protocol and go run 40 minutes in forest every day.
>>34974289I already do 3 hours at the gym everyday, forests don't exist anymore.
>>34974248inb4> go outside more> go get a job> go workout> take SSRIs> go improve yourself> go do drugs> go kill yourself> go build a social circle"Sorting shit" mode is generally attractive to people, so if you're driving people away, you're probably doing it wrong. Also being stoic isn't so bad, it's just that western society has atomized to a point that excludes stoics by default. That can be resolved by going outside of your comfort zone enough to start relationships, no need to be a hot cracker asshole.If you don't want to kill yourself, the only choice left is to decide what to do with your time. Most people do that by choosing one of the activities I mentioned above. It sounds like you want a gf, so that might be something worth pursuing.
>>34974419Maybe I used the wrong words.By "sorting shit" I meant "I'm an inferior little shit who is bad at everything, so I gotta be better at everything and do everything by myself and don't stop until i'm on expert level" mode. Meaning I'm not proud of anything I have done so far, have nothing to show for it.What you understand for the atteactive to people thing is the "I'm a gung ho go getter, full of enthusiasm with a clear path that goes towards specialization, which will enable me to put down whoever tries to come on top". They are similar because they have a root of competitivity underneath, but one is trying to pick up the broken pieces while the other one is about breaking shit.Stoicism is a prescribed way of life that doesn't necessarily fit everybody. When you try to force it into people it's not for, you get unhappy people who feel bound by fate, when they could have minmaxed for their temperament and end up in a specialized role.I already talk to people and the conversations fall flat and circumstantial. At that point I don't feel enthusiasm, I feel anxious, and I do keep pushing through and try telling personal likes or asking personal question, I haven't found someone who isn't politely dismissive or tries to know more about me, or feels safe to share more.
>>34974507You mentioned earlier that you are running out of money. Getting a job is probably the best thing you can do right now to improve your quality of life. It'll give you money and a social circle. Are you a remote contractor of some kind?
5 years ago I had $30K in my bank account. Do you think I could've quit my job and become an Uber driver?No, I didn't have a car, I would've needed to buy one.
>>34974439whatchu laughing at nigger I haven't been able to find another $400 apartment since that was a steal the motherfucker replaced every tenant there with other hispanics
>>34974534Lol sucks to be you.
>>34974545nah I'm good my current apartment now is $900 two bedroomit's no sweat off my bones but at least it's something ya know
>>34974560Mine is $1,200/white neighborhood.
>>34974575
How could I get a girlfriend being a lesbian girl? I really don't know how I have gotten other female partners, they just came, so I don't know how to really get one.
>>34967880Is there a GBLTWXYZ society in your school or college? Do you live near a college that has one? Google "GBLTetc events [your city]" or just "lesbian bars [your city]"
>>34967880hi *wink(s)*
>>34967880MGo for bi girls, they're generally fatigued with dating men, and other lesbians often write them off. You can literally just go up, too. I've never heard a girl say she wasn't at least flattered when a woman approached.
>>34968181>>34968310ntawhat if i dedicate my life to being useful to lesbians?
>>34968181Wish you were my domme
How do I incorporate Lightning McQueen more into my daily life? This is a serious question. I’m a huge fan of him and just seeing pictures of him make me grin like a retard.
>>34973585shoes maybe, not legs
>>34973615Good point. His wheels are his legs (or feet) and his tires are shoes
this gives me joy
>>34972841I watch Cars or Cars 2 just about every day. But that's because I have a toddler at home.
>>34974305Why not Cars 3 too?
I try almost everyday to do something extra for her, I'm sure she knows I love her more than anything but I'm going through a blank phase. I've done all the usual things, tonight I'm making her favorite dinner with a bottle of vintage Malbec. I want to really step it up but I'm drawing a blank. Help a guy out, please.
>>34974577I don't know her or her interests very well, but maybe you could take her bowling and stay at the hotel for a romantic evening.
>>34974577Experiences are more important than material things, IMO. Think in terms of taking her somewhere interesting that she hasn't been before. I've no idea what she would enjoy.
>>34974580>>34974581You're definitely onto something there, she is very into hiking in the mountains and trail running. I'm going to drag my ass up a mountain with a picnic for her tomorrow. I hate hiking, I'm a weightlifter and I try to keep cardio to a minimum. Thanks.
I moved from the West Coast to the East Coast for work a couple years ago, but I stayed very close with my ex. For the last two years we kept talking, watching movies together, gaming, calling, sharing personal things, and I made time for her even when I usually told people I wanted to be left alone after work. She came to visit me 5x, wrote me letters of encouragement and sent me gifts for holidays and milestones I made in my career. I really liked that. I knew she still cared about me, and I still loved her too. I told her how much I loved and cared about her, but I told myself I had created enough boundaries that I wasn’t purposefully leading her on. Recently, I started dating someone locally and eventually got into a relationship without telling my ex until it became serious enough that I felt I had to. When I finally told her, she was devastated and said the way I had acted made her think there was still a real possibility of us getting back together. Looking back, I can see why. I’m unsure though if I did anything wrong, since from what I heard from my old coworker who introduced us she really does not want anything to do with me right now. That kind of pisses me off. Anyway, anny advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading I never promised her we would reunite, and I genuinely did think of us as having some kind of friendship, but I also didn’t want to lose the connection we had. I told her I still loved her, that I cared about her, and that if she wanted this to be the end of “us,” I would respect it, but I didn’t actually close the door myself. Now I’m wondering if I was being selfish without admitting it to myself—keeping someone emotionally close because I valued what she gave me while also building a separate life somewhere else. I don’t know if I should feel guilty because I never meant to hurt her, or if intent doesn’t really matter when the outcome was this predictable.
>>34973885There's no advantage to caring. Probably beyond repair. Just move on.
>>34973885Intent matters - if you had been deceiving her intentionally, that would have made it even worse - but it is not all that matters. You may not have been malicious, but you were certainly reckless and unthinking.
>>34973924Because I don’t know if I’m even gonna live here forever. I just didn’t want her thinking maybe I’d move back home one day. But I also told her I definitely won’t live here forever either. I told her we’d still be dating had I not moved. I don’t know, maybe I am retarded
>>34973950>I told her we’d still be dating had I not moved. I don’t know, maybe I am retardedThe only way she could possibly have interpreted that is that you still wanted the two of you to be together. So why are you surprised she reacted the way she did?
My 1.5 years old girlfriend is sweet, caring, funny, intelligent and genuinely loves me, but she really struggles with her finances. She's trying to educate herself to find a better job, but the job market right now is fucked and she just doesnt make enough money to survive well. Her family is not 100% of a screw up, but she cant count on them for finances. As for me, i do well in life, i have money to survive and i help her somewhat with some money, but it makes me sad to see her so down and struggling so hard.I genuinely love her with all my heart, but this is kinda affecting me too. I don't care about money and im not worrying about having to pay stuff for her, i just really want to see her happy and seeing her like this makes me depressed.She's not really a depressive mess, she's trying, she's always looking for work and has the right attitude to keep looking for better work, but man it really hurts to see her like this. Time to time she cries and reaches out to me when she feels stressed and sad.And i don't know what to do. What can i do other than be there for her to cheer her up and help her with some money? (at most is like 50 USD, its not big deal)
>>34971362>Don't think of her as a loseryou know what, you are right. I dont know what came to me.>Are you guys living together and splitting finances smartly?Not yet, we were planning on renting an apartment together next year and she could help me with some money, and that would actually be a smart choice >What kind of education is she gettingJust postgraduate courses and diplomas>is it something that will have a meaningful payoff?Yes, in a field that could pay well
>>34970851ive never met or heard of a woman that is good with money.
>>34970851>50USDN I G G A, you're crying over that?How brown are you that you demand her to pull the same financial weight and join a lease? Expecting any woman to reach the same level of finances, and usually being younger and easy on the eyes, is setting yourself up for failure and pressing her even more. 80/20 can be fairer than 50/50. Big wins on family not being sadistic fucks.Once a woman "levels up", expect her people, specially other women, to talk her into aiming higher than you. You don't need this competition inside your heads, but already laid out the field to make these ideas thrive.>>34971640Don't rent before saving and planning ahead.
>>34970851she wasnt built for this world.
>>34970938If she's old enough to crawl, she's in the right position.
Is it a good idea to gift married woman a box of chocolates? I have massive crush on my neighbour.
>>34973827You sound like an incel who never goes out. Guess what-that’s how you get laid. If you want to stay safe, put a camera in your bedroom to prove the sex was voluntary. Otherwise, enjoy staying singel and pussy-less.
>>34974301Don't try to talk those retards out of their neurosis. They think like women, they don't even deserve to get laid.
>>34974301>>34974321You two definitely got triggered by something. Guaranteed I get more pussy than both (assuming your not same fagging) of you combined, and I don't need booze to accomplish it. All I said was limit the alcohol consumption and for him to smash at his place. Save the drinking until afterwards as a reward for more reasons than one. Bring her along as well for that, she'll appreciate it. Main thing is to smash her at your place.
>>34974378Look, if you were actually getting any, you’d already know this: alcohol is basically the universal shortcut most people use to get laid. It takes the edge off, makes everyone less awkward, boosts confidence, and turns a normal night into something with way more potential. That’s why clubs and bars stay packed-successful playboys, regular guys, whoever, they all end up there for the same reason. The drinks lower the barriers, conversations flow easier, and opportunities just show up more naturally. It’s not some secret genius cheat, it’s just how a huge chunk of adult social life actually works.
>>34974421No argument here. Alcohol lowers inhibition, which helps with the end goal. Listen, my main gripe was about the husband finding out DESU. I've heard some stories from an ex cop how a lot of false rape accusations are labeled against the guys married women are cheating with if the husband finds out. It's a way for her to deflect any accountability if the beta cuck husband is willing to buy it, and a lot of times they are to satisfy their cognitive dissonance.
I saw an attractive young black woman the other day in the mall and she had huge breasts and it put into perspective how unattractive I amThe women I'm actually into have plenty of options and I'm on the uglier side unfortunately How can I make peace with this reality?
>>34969996This. I wished I only had to it once. But my gut's telling me whatever is on the "other side" it is not better.
>>34970041>in your control:>confidence>fitness>job you do>level of education providing you are not impaired>where you live>friends you have>what you eat>what you thinknothing of that is in your control if you think about it for longer than 5 seconds
>>34973367>>34973396to chime in, I was lifting for years before I got a PT 5 months ago. Lemme tell you, its night and day difference. The workouts and the protein/calorie goals did it for me. Went from skinnyfat to decently muscular and lean. 150g protein minimum per day and around 2700 calories. I wouldn't have made so much progress without him, thats for sure.
>>34969689It's not for everybody but I got a lot of this out of my system by seeing escorts. I have fucked literal supermodels, it was great.Of course it depends on if you really value connections or you just want to have sex with beautiful women. What I tell people is that if you think you'd be bothered by seeing escorts don't do it, but if you think you'd like it do it. Don't let people talk you either into or out of it.Me, I wish I started sooner, but I let people convince me it would feel hollow when I know I don't work like that.
>>34974523oh yeah forgot to say: hitting 150g protein per day (most days 160-170) and ofc tracking it made 80% of the difference, as I was working out consistently 4x a week before as well. I realize the reason I was skinnyfat before was because I was starving my muscles with low protein/high fat and carb diet. Instead, I eat high protein/high carb/low fat. Feels like I'm going through a second puberty at 32. Literally growing more muscle AND chest hair.Anyone struggling with skinnyfatness needs to remember this:>starve your fat>feed your muscles
Be honest with me, is being 27 too old to find love?
>>34966559it was brutal, the girls were all super FOIDs and it was literally a winner take all market no inbetween whatsoever, i moved to another state and started getting matches with non fatties on dating apps like night and day but now im unemployed so dating is out again since dating a woman is pay walled
>>34965110I found love earlier this year at 28.
Bump
That's considered an optimal age.
>>34965110at that age, you're allowed to go for women aged 23-31women 25 or above are all taken, just go after the 23-24 year old girls
This is a long post but i feel there is much to unpack. I'm (male) atm. making exit plans dated for the 25th of this month. A week after my gf's niece's birthday.Short story of what has been going on. We are both in our late 30s, the relationship has gone on for 9 years. We have had a lot of issues, and i admit a lot of them have been from me.First change in the situation was 5 years or so ago, she started to have this urge that we should put our trash in one of the sinks in the kitchen. At the end of the day or two she made a trashbag and i took it out. Then the time between her making the trashbags got longer and longer... Sometimes she actually cleaned everything up but that has been years now, maybe 2 or 3.Slowly that situation evolved into something much worse. Now there are multiple trash piles in the apartment, especially in the kitchen and bathroom. Papers and newspapers are scattered around. Both sinks (kitchen and bathroom) have been unusable for almost a full year now, and even basic maintenance (like fixing a broken bathroom light) feels impossible because the apartment is in such a state that we can’t realistically invite anyone in. The light in the showerroom, that hasn't worked for a year, also is special and an electrician is needed to change it(it's not just a lightbulb i can change alone). So we use a type of forehead light when we operate there.I wash the dishes using a handwashing bowl and the shower faucet. When i talk about cleaning it all up by myself, she gets angry. Says she must be the one to do it, and she might get a nervous breakdown if i did something to it. I do small, mainly logistic fixes every now and then but even they get her anxious.I’ve adapted to functioning in this environment, but I feel a lot of shame and discomfort about it too. If I had a free choice, I would never live like this.
... And of cource i'm not gonna tell him that i feel like i'm losing my mind, just that everything is fine. Just in case someone misunderstood that.
>>34973223Ngl anon from what you've described she sounds like she could be projecting the narcissist title on you, because her behaviour sounds manipulative and controlling as fuck. Def keep reading through that site though and keep up with the crisis center. Once you start seeing through the manipulation, it becomes a lot easier to deal with and set boundaries until you can get out of there. Also check out a concept called the "grey rock method" until you can make your leave. She likely won't like it but if you can keep your composure and stick with it, it might make things a bit more tolerable in the meantime.
>>34973943I forgot to mention, look into "triangulation", because it sounds like that's what she's trying to do to you by weaponizing your family/friends against you. Narcissistic abusers love to do this to gain control over their victims. Also, check out that "traits" section of that site I mentioned before, specifically. It breaks down a lot of methods of abuse/control and ways you can cope and deal with them, perhaps that could be helpful.
>>34973943>projecting the narcissist title on you, because her behaviour sounds manipulative and controlling as fuck.It sounds that way to me too. But i can't just put all the blame on her. I realized some time ago that healthy boundaries haven't really existed between us for years.I eventually woke up to that, but she still seems to be operating according to our old, fucked-up set of rules and gets angry when the things that somehow used to work aren't working anymore. Now we're both stuck in this mess.Maybe if she had more time and space to step back and think about what's actually happening, she could figure some of this out too instead of just throwing labels around. I hope she gets to that place at some point, after the relationship is officially over. I genuinely wish she could find some peace and happiness, but that's not something i can make happen for her.>Def keep reading through that site though and keep up with the crisis center.Yeah, definitely.>Once you start seeing through the manipulation, it becomes a lot easier to deal with and set boundaries until you can get out of there.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
> > 34973948>I forgot to mention, look into "triangulation", because it sounds like that's what she's trying to do to you by weaponizing your family/friends against you. Narcissistic abusers love to do this to gain control over their victims.Well, she sees my parents as people who could help her get me to reconsider and "realign" the relationship. Maybe at some point that would have worked.I don't think any of it necessarily comes from a malicious intention. But it can still function as a form of control regardless of the intention behind it.I guess one of the more difficult things to accept is that someone can genuinely believe they're helping while still doing something that isn't actually helpful.>Also, check out that "traits" section of that site i mentioned before, specifically. It breaks down a lot of methods of abuse/control and ways you can cope and deal with them, perhaps that could be helpful.Will do. So far i've managed to keep my head, but i do feel like she's constantly testing my boundaries and trying to pull me back into the old dynamic.
