By being the most self aware as possible (I'll only take advice from people that understand that their motivations and actions are influenced by complex mechanisms like hormones, social standards etc... I'm not into evopsych but one must admit that what we say we are is not very accurate)What kind of men, in terms of attitude do women like? Is it tony soprano, the strong silent type?The happy loyal man? The disdainful cat-like man? The warm but distant mentor figure?I understand that many have different tastes, and it changes with time. But I'd like to use behaviour modification to be more like what people like while still respecting my own goals and values
>>34644965Still its better than no source or trust my anxiety bro
>>34639364And how to be confident? Or appear to be so?
literally just bee yourself (the good parts of yourself) and make them laugh
>>34644955He’s good looking and it still wasn’t enough, most guys should just give up on dating in general. Just fuck hookers once in a while
>>34644955Clav is an insecure narcissist man baby, it really shouldn't be a surprise he struggles with relationships even if he's pretty.
I talked to some random retard "architect" for a simple job, to fix a house plan I gave him for a 1 floor construction and to do the paperwork. I paid him half of what he had asked, as is custom in my country.The guy told me he'd give me a proposal for a 2-floor construction in a week. Three weeks later, he sent me some retarded shit that missed some rather obvious stuff, like the office I included in the blueprint I gave him.The question is: should I tell this retard to give me (all or most of) my money back and tell him to fuck off, or should I just tell him to do what I had asked for originally? First option is the most painful one, since I'd have to look for someone else that might be as retarded as this one, plus I'm not even sure I'll ever get my money back.2nd one is the sunken cost one, I guess.
>>34645218you have to do it yourself. 'Professional' means professional fuck up who thinks of your job as an obstacle in the way of money that just needs to go away. See if you can get the money back, and then spend a week or so learning what you'll need to know to make your own design
>>34645606Already did design some shitty plans and gave it to him. The guy wanted to display his creativity... Something I never asked him to do but I stupidly assumed could be of help, and so I let him waste time on that.I don't know shit about construction codes, so I'll just have him do whatever else is needed. I'm tired of wasting time on this shit.
>>34642289Whatever you do, make sure you keep up this smug I know better than the professionals thing you have going on.
>>34650059>make sure you keep up this smug I know better than the professionals thing you have going onThat's what you call asking to stick with one floor construction you originally agreed upon instead of 2 floor construction which doesn't have what you need in the first place, huh? Mommy and daddy really kept themselves in the family bloodline it seems.
>>34650059??? Missing a fucking room when I specified it in my original plans is retarded, esp. considering we had talked about a potential second floor and told him that *maybe* I'd build it in the future. Just MAYBE.There are other things to consider that I haven't explained bc it'd make this shit too long, but the thing is that I gave him something as a reference, and he gave me something completely different.
I'm 23 years old vitgin and honestly, this is starting to take a toll on me. Should I just go with a whore at this point, or will it make things worse?
>>34644773They need to believe so. The fact that men and women are messed up while they were boys and girls is too much. I have a working memory, incels/female failures today weren't the popular kids with great families back in school
>>34643604>Go talk to women ffs. You aren't approaching enough. You aren't interacting with them enoughI don't understand this. You're supposed to just go up to random women and start hitting on them? What on earth would you even say? I have no idea
>>34642233this isn't true at all, i lost my virginity normally with a girl but i really remember the second chick i had sex with because i liked her more
>>34642396>there's more important things than sex.I'm informed that if I never procreate, I have failed as a human being.
>>34650206Idk man, the last guy to get arrested in your city probably has kids, meanwhile Nikola Tesla died a virgin. People that are doing well don't really care about people who aren't. The people that routinely mock incels are people who are barely not incels. Like fat redditors with their fat dog wife
Why is speech silver and silence golden?Previous thread: >>34646600
>>34651710You are the definition of a midwit retard
Someone called me a slut because I ERP with people a lot (Around 10 new people a month going back to 2017)How do I stop being sad
>>34651726why
>>34651691>trusted or a safe personI mean, you're not. You're a someone she met online that she's met in person once? twice? Try thinking about this from a place of logic not hurt feelings.
>>34651727Stop being a slut
I have been wracking my brain over wanting to pump and dump college chicks.I manage to attract a decent number of younger girls, but I don’t know how to actually go about just fucking and then never seeing them again. I don’t want them texting me or following up on social media or some shit. Any advice?
>>34649096If you tried something called honesty instead of being a spiritual snake Jew rat bastard, you could just say "let's be friends with benefits" or "I'm short term kinda guy, nothing serious but looking for fun." Which is codeword for "let us fuck but neither of us commit."You don't need to lure people in with false expectations. Not only cuz it sucks for them but it sucks for you long term because then you just earn a reputation you can't wash off. If you're gonna be a coomer dickhead, at least be an honest one. That's respectable. No one respects a two faced lying dickhead.
>>34649150Yeah I agree, you'd be surprised how many women just want dick, gotta just own it. Doesn't mean act like a lust obsessed faggot, but telling a chick "hey I just wanna mess around a bit, nothing serious" is A ok and lots of them are looking for that arrangement too.
>>34649157>lots of them are looking for that arrangement too.It's true. I'd say only some are. Only some women look for that arrangement. The rest of them just accept it. The ones who settle for it are the chicks that try to win your love later, only pretending to be casually attached in order to mirror your values (or lack thereof depending on who you ask). And after you act out the arrangement with the girl she starts trying to chain you down emotionally to keep you forever. And not in a pleasant way, in a controlling and borderline psychotic way.
>>34649169That’s my main concern. Don’t want to take the gamble.
>>34649096just ask them for money after or something
Found out my partner is into ddlg roleplay, personally I find this really offputting, it fills me with disgust along with loli obsession and desire/strong preference to date legal teenagers(previously was fine with liking lolis since I like cute anime girls too). Discovered through searching user post history, he didn't mention specifically wanting to date 18 year olds, ddlg, or lolis more in depth. We have a pretty large age gap which I was trying to overlook(if two people get along well I don't see why not if theyre willing to work things through). This honestly isn't something I can get over and I am considering breaking up with him. How does one even bring this up? The easiest way to be civil was to simply state us being incompatible but I already used this excuse before(was jealous over his past experiences and interactions with women) and promised to be open and work things out with him. How bad is it to just ghost and block him? I doubt telling him I was disgusted and snooping a good idea, and I don't want to offend or hurt him. This is my first relationship, I'm getting really upset and tired that its going this badly and want to give up.Am I kink-shaming, a sensitive faggot or overreacting? inb4-You dumb fuck, you should have seen this cominglol yeah but I thought I would get over ittldr: uncomfortable with bfs sexual preferences how to handle?
>>34645092Ghosting is unnecessarily brutal, but at the same time you don't owe him an explanation. Just say "I think we should stop seeing each other" and don't elaborate.
>>34645092You don't like it because you know you can't be young forever and you feel insecure that he will stop liking you as you age and lose your youthful appearance. You are insecure and you expect abandonment, which is why you snooped through his shit & caught jealousy of his past experiences.So now you are working up a way to gaslight yourself into feeling justification for leaving him because you're too anxious to stay feeling like you're not enough for him. You will pin him as the bad guy, and yourself as the hapless victim and you will bail out after exonerating yourself.Anyway, you should just cut the crap. If you want him you stay. If you don't want him, you leave. It's that simple. Love is a rational choice. Choosing to love someone or not is neither right or wrong it just is. Sometimes you choose it even knowing their flaws or mistakes or problems. Sometimes certain problems can be worked through or at the least tolerated.If you find yourself unable to tolerate it leave. Just don't go into hysterics and brand him as some pedophile when you already know you're presumably both of consensual age, and he just has a kink for a legal age gap.
>>34645092You should probably become lesbian if that's a deal breaker for you because every man in the world prefers younger women.
OverthinkingWould you tell a morbidly obese to not date a chubby chaser? a hog wrangler? Why would you be unhappy that the person you're dating is attracted to you.Women are retarded.
i was in this situation once and i could never see him the same way again. i told him that i found it off putting and that i want nothing to do with him anymore because i thought he deserved to know what went wrong between us. its an uncomfortable conversation to have but it helps u both get closure and move on easier. good luck!
I'm on vacation in Europe for the summer and I fell in love here. I begin medical school in a couple weeks and she is not able to return to the USA and I'm not able to move to Europe. She said if i stayed here I can live with her. The correct thing to do is to go do medical school, right? I wish I could stay here but doctors make significantly less than they do in America and also I'm not accepted to a medical school here, I'm accepted to medical school in the US.
>>34648405>I'm accepted to medical school in the USAssuming you aren't going to med school because "that's how I can make a lot of money" you should go to med school. Try the long distance relationship thing. If it doesn't work, then she wasn't """The One.""" If it does work, then you get married and she can come to the USA.
>>34648405How long have you actually known her?
>>34649656a few weeks
>>34648411>that really dependsNo, it doesn't depends, you absolute retard.>>34648405>The correct thing to do is to go do medical school, right?yes, that shouldn't even be a question. Imagine giving up on your future for a woman that can cheat on you or divorce rape you after a few years.
>>34649925>a few weeksYou're stupid.
Thinking of tying one of these bad boys over my head and ending it, will it work?
>>34647435If you are asking if it will work towards fixing the situation, no it won't, it will make it way worse.
>>34647435Lame. Too much time to think about what you're doing/talk yourself out of it. And there's a chance you live, but at a severely reduced mental capacity, possibly even a veg. It's not foolproof enough
>>34647435thats so lewd
>>34647693This, if you're gonna off yourself, it needs to be quick enough that the body can't register the danger. If you put a bag over your head, instinct will kick in and you'll naturally claw your way out because the brain is forcing you to act to save it.
>>34647448The noose would 100% snap before he would die.
What do girls feel when my wifes boyfriend shoves it in?Do you think a girl can ever love, and i mean love in the truest. mosst equal sense of the word, truly love a man that has a small dick?This is an honest question about the nature of things.
>>34648820*Everything about Colton I detest
>>34648572Women are far, far, FAR less concerned with penis size than men are.
>>34648572>What do girls feel when my wifes boyfriend shoves it in?Honestly? Wave after wave of sensual feelings, starting with intense pain as the huge flaring mushroom tip forces it's way in and ending with screaming, squirting orgasms as she is harpooned over and over in her posterior fornix by his unyielding fuckmeat, followed by gasping yearning aftershocks as his huge balls tense up and blast her womb over and over again like a firefighter at a civil rights protest
>>34648572Women who have sex with women consistently report much higher levels of sexual satisfaction, including more and better orgasms, than women who have sex with men. How big is the average lesbian's dick, do you think? And yet their partners manage to fall in love with them just fine.
>>34649644this
my mom was complaining about my dad because he's in a bad mood from work, and tonight she was drinking. Then, while my dad is at work, she blurts out: "It's not my fault that his father was an alcoholic and that his mother had I don't know how many abortions."After that she got on the phone with my aunt, and when she hung up I went to tell her that she went too far talking about my dad like that. She was on her way to the bathroom to pee and was so drunk that, without even realizing it, she was literally pulling her pants down, right in front of me, while walking toward the bathroom.
>>34646260>>34647908Why is he a loser?
>>34647956I'm sorry to hear that Anon, having a shitty dad sucks, I hope you are doing betterIn my case my dad used to be way worse, he used to be a violent alcoholic but stopped drinking decades ago, then he kept getting upset over trivial stuff, so much so that he started having heart problems to the point where he had to get surgeryNow he is just negative when he is in a bad mood, complaining non-stop and always having an opinion but not nearly as bad as it used to be
>>34647969Damn, my dad also had heart problems. Though that fucker never laid off the whiskey or nicotine. Though with how fucked up things are I don't know if having fathers like this is all that big of a coincidence.
>>34648047I'm sorry Anon; how are you doing now? Are you doing better?In my case seeing my mom that drunk last night was pretty messed up, I never stood a chance as a kid apparently
>>34648069Eh, I'm fine, more or less rn, I'm with someone else and I'm about to go homeless if I can't get a job sorted out. I suggest not being so hard on your mom.A while after I was 18 and living with my mom, she only then told me that my dad was having multiple affairs with other women and had sex with prostitutes, beat her, and stuff like that.There really isnt any way to know just how much crap your mom is holding in just to keep the family together. So give her a break, thats all I can say.
I'm too embarrassed to say all this to my friends. I know this is pathetic. I'm 22 if it's relevant.My last ex told me she wanted to marry me and then fucked off and emigrated. I actually could deal with that. That wasn't the worst. Like it sucked but I could accept it. I wouldn't want to hold her back in her career to be with me. That could only end in resentment. If you love someone, let them go and all that. It hurt like hell but it wouldn't have led to this by itself.I tried it on with a woman I had a lot in common with after the breakup. I thought we could get along really well together. And we did! We went on two coffee dates that lasted 3+ hours each time. I ended up getting drunk and told her I fancied her over text when plans fell through for a third. The text actually was rather well written for something I wrote after being thrown out of a bar. No typos or anything. I just said "I wanted to say it in person but haven't seen you in a while. I really like you and I'm wondering if you'd like to get sushi sometime?" The answer included the word "Never". That one was extra humiliating because it's a small town and we were seen by a local gossip on both dates. And I vaguely remember telling acquaintances that I was going to ask her out before I got kicked from the bar. I actually found this one funny more than anything.Then my best friend started flirting with me, getting very hands on with me, making BIG emotional statements about how much she valued me and how I understand her like nobody else does, how we'd make a great couple etc etc etc. So I decided to ask her out and found out she was actually riding one of my friends. She'd spent the last year talking shit about him in public so nobody would know. Isn't that just horrible? She was too embarrassed of him to be with him in public! Add to that then my own feelings of being led on. We're actually going to be living together next academic year. Dreading it. I can't but hold her in contempt.
part 2/2I really did love her. I'd have done anything for her.But life isn't so bad! I've met a nice girl, she's from my area and we go to the same university. I have been told by mutual friends that she actually really likes me and wants to go on a date with me. I asked her for her number and we agreed to try find a time to go out, maybe wait until University restarts at the end of August if we have to. We're both very busy at the moment with placement, work and holidays. Shouldn't have anything to worry about, should I?The thing is, she's really shy and is inexperienced. Basically because I got shafted three times in 2026, and because I'm not seeing much of her and neither of us are "good" texters, I keep overthinking this and ending up in mini-chud-crises worrying that she doesn't like me at all and is playing some kind of game to fuck with me or stroke her own ego. I have literally zero evidence for this, but about once a week I have one of these crises if I don't run into her. When I see her, those fears are washed away.I used never be like this. I hate it. I used be so confident before.
>>34649537I can see why you are developing trust issues. My only advice to talk to people who have good relationships or read uplifting stories and maybe don't date for a bit, take some time to recover your faith in human goodness
>>34649627OP here on a different device. Idk will I show up as OP or not. Anyway thank you for your advice and your sympathy :) I have been trying to stay off social media because it stokes distrust in the other sex because of culture war bullshit. I've been trying to read a lot and do a bit of writing and study to keep distracted in the evenings but not to much avail. It does help.
>>34649709I thinking staying off social media is a good idea. There are a lot of bad women out there and you've met a few of them. Just take some time to relearn that good women are also out there
>>34649718Funny thing is I met them all irl. Anyway I have a good feeling most of the time about the current girl. I hope it works out. Otherwise I'll take a break until something falls into my lap
28, 6'4 male sick of coworkers at every job I've ever been at telling me what to do and for some reason listening. Also, to a lesser extent, getting called "buddy" by other men that aren't close friends. I think this was caused by my father having anger issues growing up, screaming at us and blowing his top over little things, so I learned to be as agreeable as possible in order to try and avoid making him angry. I can't do conflict. I have trouble formulating my thoughts in heated conversations, and I always apologize and concede. I always rationalize it by saying that keeping the peace is the smart thing to do. How do I break out of this shitty mentality? I want to stand up for myself. I want to be the kind of man who people don't feel like they can order around.
>>34649405Why do you think that saying no equates to being a dickhead? Genuine question. Have you ever been told no? Did you think those people were dickheads?
>>34649395what this guy said >>34649401 but you legit don't even have to say no, just learn how to have a neutral expression and ignore people when they talk to you and you will be easily able to intimidate anyone.>>34649405the secret is that whether you are seen as a dickhead or not depends entirely on how other people want to see you. a direct rejection is normal and many people will treat that as normal, many others will treat it as a personal insult. you can't afford to care about that unless you want your decision making to be hostage to others.if you want to diplomacymaxx you can just add as many polite words as possible and express yourself as softly as possible while making it absolutely clear that you won't do the thing asked for.example, someone invites you to a party and you don't feel like going."nah i don't want to go" is totally reasonable.but you could also say "sorry man, i'd like to go and i appreciate you inviting me, but i am afraid i am too busy with some other stuff, don't have the time. hopefully i'll be free enough to tag along sometime soon, or maybe i'll end up inviting you next time."
Too add onto what >>34649513 said you can be a gentle giant and only escalate when needed. Your size and (newfound) confidence should minimize the amount of times you will need to deal with extreme conflict. Just be firm yet polite and everything should be fine.
Other anons had good advice, but I'd also add to internalize to yourself that nothing bad is going to happen if you disagree with someone or have conflict. I was also a big people pleaser with a similar background to you and this was a big issue I had that gave me a lot of anxiety because I innately feared what would happen when I got into conflict. Once you internalize that nothing is wrong with turning people down, the anxiety goes away and you can say no easier.
>>34649405>dickheadPeople will assume you’re a dickhead for agreeing with everything too. Dickhead.
>4chan got boring>Escapism of all sorts got boring(porn, anime, manga, videogames, food, music, etc.)Anyone went through something similar? Is it ~le anhedonia? Am I getting 'old'? I'm 24 btw.
>>34645874I think it's normal. You're likely desiring something more. Do you still live in your hometown?I pretty much completely dropped video games from age 23-27, but now I'm slowly getting back into it. Not even really because I enjoy it, but because it's a cheap way to kill time.
>>34645874Everyone has gone through something similar. There has never been a point in human history when it was possible to find happiness and fulfillment in distractions, entertainment or pleasure. Anyone who has ever lived requires something more, a sense of purpose and the hope of fulfilling that purpose. Some people find it in philosophy, others in religion and spirituality, but in all cases what that means is learning how to view self perfection as an end in itself. When you love honesty, justice, compassion and truth so much that it pleases you to pursue it for its own sake, with no need for any external reward, that's when happiness blooms.
>>34645952>You're likely desiring something moreYes, but I have no idea of what that "something more" might look like. I don't remember having any passions, aspirations nor dreams while growing up. Also, as silly as it may sound, I thought I'd never become an adult. I thought I'd die before my 18th birthday or that the universe would 'reset' or something like that. I feel retarded even typing that out. >Do you still live in your hometown?I do, but never really thought about living somewhere else. I see myself as too meek/weak/childish/immature to manage to commit to such a complex goal as moving to another city or state.>Anyone who has ever lived requires something more, a sense of purpose and the hope of fulfilling that purpose.I've found myself drawn to certain philosophies and self-improvement stuff over the last 2 or 3 years. I thought I'd get some sort of epiphany and figure myself out at some point. Needless to say that didn't happen.
>>34646045It takes a bit longer than a few years for studying to bear fruit, and that's assuming that you even started in the right place. Almost all philosophy from the last 500 years or so hasn't been real philosophy, because it doesn't encourage you towards a practice of any kind and doesn't even acknowledge the existence of wisdom, let alone show any love for it. I'd suggest starting with Epictetus and Seneca if you haven't already, because the advice they give can be used to improve your own life immediately. Or if you are already familiar with them, you might want to give Plotinus, Boethius and Simplicius a look.
>>34645874Yeah, creating stuff and gym worked for me
I'm tired of the mental gymnastics my own brain does. Just spewing negative, anxious shit 24/7.>doomscrolling doesn't help >alcohol doesn't do it anymore>wanting to form friendships yet my social skills are horrendous>stopped talking with others due to having social skills of a retard>still thinking about bullshit from 5-10 years ago that bothers me to this day and the brain doesn't shut the fuck up about itHow does one even achieve inner-peace to move foward? What is there to do to root out this way of life? Can I be saved?
>>34649636Medidation + exposure therapy + socializing + hobbies + spirituality/religion + exercise + eating right + sleeping well + journaling + maybe therapy (mixed opinions here). In general, clean living. And if that doesn't work then MAYBE consider meds (very decisive topic here but if nothing else works I would at least try them for a bit).
>>34649636Everything other anon said, plus keep trying to make friends and talk to people. Social skills are skills like any other and they only get better through practice
>>34649636Your brain isn't doing any of that, you are. Your attitude is the product of your thoughts, and your thoughts are the product of your beliefs. If you want to change your attitude and overall mood, then you have to introspect and change what you believe so that your thoughts are truthful and beneficial, rather than false and harmful. Getting into the habit of studying and then meditating on what you've read would be a great step forward. To begin with, I'd personally recommend 'As a Man Thinketh' by James Allen, and 'The Discourses of Epictetus'.
>>34649636Take the chill pill.
>>34649650Not OP but Id rather just kill myself than do ALL that
I made a video detailing my life as an old virgin, what advice would you give to finally get me a gf?https://youtu.be/fSmPBowFWq4
>>34647215Helps to be somebody and if you leverage your youtube enough and meet people through ityou have a proper chance of even getting messaged by girls, but they need to know your general area. T. Fucking the second chick atm in 3 years who dmd me because I got viral one time
>>34647215Making yourself known online as a virgin who can't get pussy is less than ideal. I mean you could turn it around if you eventually got laid or something, but women don't tend to find this attractive.
>>34649432Maybe he just enjoys playing this character more than he would enjoy a relationship. Sometimes people don't want to change/improve and prefer their current spot for whatever reason. He doesn't look bad and I feel like he could easily fix this if he wanted to but I don't think he actually wants to for whatever reason.
I don't get the video nor the year updates, seems it's like this guy said >>34649450
>>34647860Yeah I think years of relative isolation played a part in getting me here. It probably would have happened by now if I had just been in environments where I could mingle with women naturally, but the only girls I talk to are cashiers.>>34648088You made it further than most.>>34648177Probably cause I don't like fat women, which half of black women are. And in modern dating 5s are the new 10s and 10s are the new 20s, so getting non-fat women can be very hard.>>34649450Its not that I wouldn't like to get a gf, but I think because I'm very content I don't take it all that seriously. I'm always ready to give up the V card but not if I have to cold approach 1000 women like a jackass.
