I got into it mostly because i wanted to be more extroverted etc, i achieved that goal, my instructor didnt charge me a cent for the classes, but these last few months that we're preparing for a christmas act at an elderly home, thing is: i'm folding really hard and i'm not happy or feeling well during the last months. i feel like quiting. should i do this? i always feel like i owe people but i never put my happiness first....
> take class to be extroverted> have upcoming public performance > quit due to social anxietywhere’s the part where the classes worked?
>>32392594idk if i'm quiting due to social anxiety, i think that i just want to have time for myself, and i'm mostly frustrated cuz i suck at acting, my goal wasnt to become an actor.
>>32392587>>32392634If you quit you owe it to yourself to go to a doctor/therapist/counsellor for your anxiety issues.
imo it's good as a principle to stick to commitments, or to see things through to the end. It makes you more reliable as a person, builds character. It makes it easier for you to trust yourself because you know you can complete things. Often forcing through things can lead to unexpected positive outcomes.It doesn't seem like you have that much further to go. After the performance you can ditch and move on to something else, while getting to say you acted in an actual live performance. You can both see the thing through while also being loyal to yourself by breaking from it sooner than later.
Is it to bring up posts on 4chan irl
>>32391774don't
Need more context. There is no one size fits all answer to all social situations.
>>32391781just don't. to be "socially acceptable" is to relate one way or another to the normies. think football, normie vidya, movies, etc.
>>32391774It doesn't bother me personally, but if you're concerned just say 'I read this on the internet I forgot where'
Never mention this site anywhere, newfag.
i already know this is the most toxic part of 4chan but dont have anywhere else to ask, today i tried to chat up the receptionnist at the gym, i've caught her plenty of times looking at me idk why, maybe i had a chance, so i asked about a piece of equipment i lost yesterday, she literally just stared at me the whole time, opened a drawer and showed me something she thought may be the item, she didnt say hi, she didnt say "is this?" not. a. single. wordwtf does this mean?
>>32389002Doesn't matter. It's a gym dude, she's definitely looking at big strong guys all day. Some of them are gonna be bigger, stronger, and more attractive than you, so why tf would she give a shit about you specifically?
>>32385589You talked to a woman while she was on the clockWhat did you expect?
>>32390318Oh wow some bitch was rude to you? STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES AND CALL A MEETING AT THE UN, WE GOTTA UNRAVEL THIS CRISISStop acting like a woman, start acting like a man, and roll on with your life. Shitty rude people exist sadly, so make it like they don't exist in your life instead of giving them more of your energy and consideration on a fucking Mongolian coloring book forumIf your age begins with a number greater than a "2" then I'm just fucking embarrassed for you.
>>32390386>>32390377>>32390384>>32390348completely toxic, why are you on ADV? to compensate for something?
>>32385589receptionists, bartenders, and waitresses are all paid to be friendly and one should never take his interactions with them as romantic until an aggresive IOI is issued
So i met this girl in my college class. We didnt chat much, but she texted me about halloween party because we have mutual friends. I came up with the idea of matching costumes. She agreed. We danced a little bit but I didnt take it any further. Then when I told her I like her, she told me she has a boyfriend. I dont know whether to count it as fumble since she broke up with him recently, and found another one. And Im thinking that if I did something different/made my intentions more clear maybe she would be attracted to me. I have a girlfriend now, but it still hurts( because we both liked cosmos and astronomy and in general had similar plans for the future) and she doesnt even want me as a friend.
>>32388577She kinda gave signs she is. When i was walking her dog out with her, she never mentioned her boyfriend even once. Furthermore it would be weird for someone to do matching fits with me instead of her boyfriend.
>>32389200this is classic behavior of evaluating her options. men do the same thing. you’re going out with your best option at the time. and she found her other options were better than you
>>32388519Bump
>>32388519I don't know what to tell you since I myself struggle to sometimes know when to escalate and where i fucked up.
>>32388519the time to tell her you liked her was the halloween party. waiting to do it later tells her you didn't care in the heat of the moment but after marinating in your possible loneliness for a few days you popped up again. from her perspective you're not really interested and your love confession is you going through the motions for some quick pussy
Well I'm a junior in college. CS and Mathematics. I like my classes a lot. I'm scared to death of spending my whole life at some faceless corporation like my older family members have. It seems like a complete sink. I'd like to contribute to open source software and build interesting projects, but this seems idealistic and naive. What should I do?
>>32387288When you get out and get a job, you'll wonder why it seemed like such a big deal. In some ways it will be worse even than you were expecting, but in other ways it will be better. There is a very good chance that it will be one of the most technically easy day-to-day routines you've ever had. Completely serious. But that's also part of what makes it soul crushing. My advice: learn to live below your means as much as you can. That will quickly provide you material freedom and "fuck you money." People who get into a good-earning job and immediately adjust their spending up are retards. Some people are doomed to be paycheck-to-paycheck no matter how much they make
>>32390357my recommendation if you are at a saas job now is transfer into engineering at your job. this is much easier than an external interview. find good engineers there and copy them. you can do this now if you have access. read some code. ask questions. learn from themthe other option is use them and their contacts to get you an entry level position elsewhere. but it’s going to be easier to learn coding at a product that you are already familiar with. then you only have to learn the tech stack. as opposed to learning the product and tech stack at the same time i’ve seen this multiple times where non tech background people move into engineering. it takes years but you can become a good coder
>>32391371thanks anon, >as opposed to learning the product and tech stack at the same timethat line helped contextualize this process
>>32387288> CSThe good news is that there are no entry level jobs, so you can forget about waging as a programmer.
>>32387288start your own business or become a rare-skill freelancer. those are your only options
Okay, so normally I would never associate with you retards but unfortunately your probably the best people to ask about this.So, the gist is that someone who I considered a close friend for many years betrayed and abandoned me. Now I want to make their life Hell.What I want to know is how do I go about doing that?I'm thinking of starting a smear campaign against them but I need some advice on how to do it.
>>32388736>I'm thinking of starting a smear campaign against them but I need some advice on how to do it.If you have to ask, you probably aren't able to spearhead one. If you're a friendless introvert loser you can't do much other than nominally illegal means of revenge in Roblox.Firstly, more details are needed. You won't get good advice vaguefagging on /adv/.There are groups and discord of people dedicated to harrassing X people. If your subject is popular and has some political or moral wrongthink that has been documented, reach out to those groups and they could do your main work for you.
>>32388736>your probably the best peopleYes, because we know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE.
>>32388736Why waste energy? Do you really think it will make you feel better? If so you can just terrorize them. Make phone calls from unknown numbers and use a voice changer to make threats
>>32388736Its better to move on and be thankful you now know their character. Be glad it wasn't a spouse, but just a friend.
>>32388736you have to choose your friends carefully but your enemies even more carefully
I'm about to turn 25 and my life has been boring and subdued. I've done pretty much nothing and with my youth pretty much going out the door that reality is sinking in. At best I have like 8 years to LIVE before everything just becomes a drooping decaying slow march towards death but I still can't shake myself enough to go out and DO something. I don't know what I'd even want to do and that's always paralyzed me, I just want some action and drama and poetry in my life while I still have the chance. I'm about to enroll in school again but I know that wont give me what I want, the obvious answer is travelling but I'm broke and feel like I don't have the personality to do it alone
your parents have a hard time looking at the you in the eye and saying i’m proud of you
>>32392601I'm looking for advice not seething projection from a decrepit old man
>>32392521I’m in the same boat fren, 24 yo, just got out of a long term relationship, and feel like I wasted my youth (ex never liked to do new things, just sat around smoking weed) I don’t know how to meet people anymore. Go to bars or clubs? I have nobody to go with and I’m not social. Dating apps? I hate getting led on then ghosted. I’m just working on improving myself little by little by going to the gym, doing skin care, buying new clothes, etc. But it’s hard to stay motivated most of the time.
People tell me I have an interesting life but I feel similar to how you described. My plan is to continue progressing as much as possible. Just find things you're interested in then go for it. I struggle to meet people our age too. I work mostly with older people and I've moved a lot so my friends are far away. It's not all bad though, being slightly isolated gives you more time to focus on what you want.
>>32392658>Dating apps? I hate getting led on then ghosted.Thank god i'm not the only one.Online dating is so utterly fucked and a waste of time. I feel like it's mostly used for validation by narcissists.Can't even count how often i talked to sb that acted interested just to ghost or block me a few days or weeks later.
Can’t make up my mind about anything, can’t say for certain that anything has happened. This is a hellish ordeal, my brain hurts. How can I be more certain about stuff?I tried to prove my heritage, that’s impossible. We are all nomads in this life.
>>32392885Why are you being vague? Please be specific and clear about the actual issue you have and you'll have a much better chance of having applicable, actionable advice.
>I tried to prove my heritage, that’s impossiblehuh
>30-year-old socially awkward virgin stemcel, spent the year improving social skills and cultivating a social network.>Started frequenting a yoga studio, practicing small talk, and becoming a familiar face; women and instructors began acknowledging me.>After yoga, visited a coffee shop alone until a group of chess-playing boomers invited me to join them, becoming part of their group.>Made friends at yoga, mainly with men. Developed a roster of friends who I go out and have lunch with regularly.>Built camaraderie with the boomers; one is a wealthy businessman who I am now partnered with on a business we are working on, and is also helping guide me into realestate.>Stopped feeling alone but still 30 year old virgin desu.>Try luck with some luck with pretty girls at yoga, got 2 girls numbers there, invite one out for coffee, got ghosted afterwards, hung out with the other, she sees me as just a friend.>Developed good rapport with some other girls at yoga. One of them is a beautiful ~5'10 blonde woman who puts her mat next to me sometimes and we have small-talk and exchange backgrounds, also have good rapport with her friend, whom I've sometimes thought about asking out but now just worried I'll fuck up our rapport if I ask them out.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>32392711I actually broke out a measuring take and measured a while ago.Barefoot I am EXACTLY 1cm below 5'6, 167cm. So about 5'5.65? But in real life I say I'm 5'6 for practicality. I'm sure it deviates throughout the day. The male friends have been absolutely life changing, and I think I got lucky with these guys as well, I'm talking about the guys from both the coffee shop and the yoga place.I keep doing yoga because it genuinely has helped me physically and mentally. Now that you mention about eggs in one basket, I could start branching out and trying different yoga studios in my town and see what happens.>Also how good are you at IOIs This is one area I'm struggling with, as a stemcel I have a tendency to hyper analyze ever single detail. Unfortunately I think its leading to more analysis-paralysis than anything else when I should be just shooting my shot.As for spotting signal, I've had girls at yoga smile at me, initiate conversations/greetings with me, place their mats right beside or infront of me. I can NEVER tell if they're just being nice or showing interest, other than that 1 college girl who straight up approached me and initiated physical touch but freaked out when I told her I was 30.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>32392744>that 1 college girl who straight up approached me and initiated physical touch but freaked out when I told her I was 30.>Regarding the girls I mention in the post. I always gave them my number and they always reached out.alright so this isn't a lost cause then. I think you just need to keep going, you seem to be doing all the right things, its just a numbers game and a willingness to escalate - I'd consider auditing a class in a community college to stay around young girls and feel young for a bit. What are your goals btw? girlfriend who knows the truth , dating etc etc or just some hookup/3 month tier situationships?
>>32392753I think my biggest strength is that I've developed that stereotypical "personality" and pragmatism.I don't just hand out my number willy-nilly like PUAs, I actually develop rapport with a woman and then give her my number when I feel she's comfortable, regardless how time-consuming.Community college sounds good. There were some subjects I wanted to sink my teeth into.>What are your goals btw? girlfriend who knows the truth , dating etc etc or just some hookup/3 month tier situationships?I will take either of those. But I strongly prefer a relationship that leads to marriage and hopefully permanently takes me off the market.
>>32392456why don't you try asking this social network of yours if they know any single girls who'd like to hang out with you?
>>32392744>community college girlthey don't care about your age, what you did was communicate it the wrong way. there's a big difference between "i'm 30" as an apology and "i'm way too old for you haha" as a flirt
gonna greentext this first part>be me, last night>like to go to sleep listening to music>wake up randomly, take earbuds out, go back to bed>wake up again>cant move>never had sleep paralysis before, but i guess thats normal>from what i can see outside, it's like 6 AM>i can hear birds and cars>figure if i focus on that, my brain wont conjure some horrible hallucination>it works, go back to sleep>wake up>pitch black, no birds, cold as shit in my room. like starting to lose feeling in my nose cold>cant really see my clock in the dark but the hour hand is near 3Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
This could very well be sleep apnea induced dissociation. The body reacts to not getting enough sleep is different ways. Go to a medical professional, ask to be tested for sleep apnea. You would be given options for treatment.This is just a theory is all. Or maybe it is derealization? If you do have depersonalization-derealization disorder, then you could be given antidepressants or mood stabilizers but if that isn't you jam, then lifestyle changes, journaling and other forms psychotherapy might be a solution. I am not a medical professional so remember this.
>>32392818will probably look into the sleep apnea thing. i've never heard of the latter disorder. i actually did try journaling for a little, but stopped because i couldn't find enough interesting things to write about. whenever i had one of these "moments" i would draw it out and never look at it because it scared me too much.
>>32392818will probably look into the sleep apnea thing. i've never heard of the latter disorder.i actually used to keep a journal, but stopped because nothing noteworthy ever happened to me. whenever i had one of these "moments" i would draw it out and never look at it because it scares me too much
>>32392838didnt mean to send this twice
>>32392838Do not draw the abomination that is the sleep paralysis being but rather try to recollect what time you fell asleep. Consistent sleep schedule is the key for this and being haphazard in your cycle will ruin you. Maybe you can start with that before going with the medical professional, try getting a consistent schedule for a couple of days and record any changes to yourself.
this thread is for people that want to blame gaming for all the bad things that happened in their life.the missed opportunities.when you decided to not go to scary parties and instead play fucking dotas with faceless raging nerds to grind fake virtual points.just vent and explain what wouldve happened if online gaming didnt exist.what im experiencing after quitting:>heart rate normalized>eyes dont randomly dilate and tense up at moving objects (fps games do that to you)>get a little bit of dopamine from learning something new>still struggling to learn but gained ability to focus for longer periods of time>touch dick less for stimulation when boredcons:>depressed>lost friends all of which were met through gaming (not friends more like fellow users)>facing consequences of wasting time on gaming instead of building myself upComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>32392458if games didnt exist i would be doing my homework right now
>>32392458i can find alot of players that would say the opposite because they play games like these.the fact that content creation and esports exist feeds their addiction more to justify the time wasted in these games. if you remove ranked and the prospects of getting money from playing no one would even play these games.
thinking about playing games right now scratching the back of my head alot like an addict
thinking about that night when i was invited to a party and the girl that i found hot was there and she said over the phone i love you anon but she was drunk obv.you know what i did that night? stayed home and grinded league and then jerked off to hentai
i miss gaming
Im a law student and I cant fucking focus >rahh rahh get off your phone you little bitchshut the fuck upI cant find a doctor that does ADHD tests. do any of you tards have experience in this? How do I find a doctor that can prescribe me that sweet blue pill?
>>32392421If you can’t focus then you can’t focus, a drug will just make it worse. Don’t be the lawyer that gets locked up for drugs and throw away all that time, energy and money you spent on law school
>>32392492If someone is able to get through law school, they don't have ADHD. The vast majority of normal "neurotypical" people couldn't get through law school
>>32392498prime example as to why this board sucks massive cock. you'd have better luck going onto reddit at this point.
>>32392421Just do meth, it's the same shit
>>32392421Just get modafinil instead
how can i compensate for my height. im 5'4. is there anything i can do to appear taller or make the height difference less noticeable?
>>32387177https://www.ranker.com/list/male-celebs-who-are-5-ft-3-in/celebrity-lists
>>32387177I wouldn't mind dating a guy who is 5 feet 4
>>32388786cope>>32389569he'll still be 5'4"
become a horse jockey
>>32387177I just stopped caring about my height.If you can manage that it's the easiest route.
Every single hobby ever feels like work for me and I don't enjoy doing anyting other than laying in bed looking at my phone.
>>32392348>I don't enjoy doing anyting other than laying in bed looking at my phone.you dont enjoy that though, or you wouldnt be complaining about it
>>32392348Do you ever enjoy anything ever your whole life? It doesn't have to be a common hobby. Also sometimes a hobby feels like work even if you like it.
>>32392348The point of a hobby is not to force yourself into doing it. Many years ago I started cooking because I got bored of eating the same thing. I didn't undertake it as part of some effort to have hobbies. Now if playing ultimate Frisbee got me pussy I'd consider doing it. It's been a long time.
>>32392348What have you tried? Are you willing to put effort in if we help suggest things, or would we just be wasting our time?
howie thread
Is 115lbs a good weight for a 5'10 27 year old man? I spent months losing weight because I was fat. Pic rel is my TDEE
>>32392021that is very underweight
is this a joke? do you not know how to read a simple bmi table?
>>32392021You are underweight. If you're worried about being fat you can gain to something healthy by building muscle.t. 120lb 5ft5 manlet.
>>32392021145 with lean muscle is perfect
