I told my friend of 3 year I liked them. She rejected me and desperately wants to stay friends. She messages me multiple times a week despite me saying I wanted space. I remember our friendship fondly, but don't want to orbit her and see her fuck other guys knowing I've got no chance.IRL people I've spoken to about it think it's kinda shitty to break it off because she clearly cares about me and to just distance for now. Am I just an asshole?
>>35021652On of the many psychological differences between men and women is that women can reject you as a lover and still want to remain friends, while men think in all-or-nothing terms.Neither of you is "right" or "wrong." The question is how much you are trapped by your immediate emotional response.
>>35021825>>35021867Losing a friend would suck. It wouldn't be some big announcement, I'd just be a little more distant. Still polite; not ghosting.
>>35021937I think that's fine if it feels fine to you. Over time she'll adjust, probably.
>>35021652The way I see it, it makes my life worse to stay in touch with women I'm attracted to but who only see me as a friend. I will always, in some way, want to be with them romantically and sexually, and I can't really just take those feelings and shove them to the side without some degree of mental anguish. It also makes their life a little worse, because they want a friend and I can't provide that; once that's out in the open, I don't know why she would want to continue as friends.Is it kind of selfish and assholish? Yes, but that's okay. Taking some space to work through it is a good idea for everybody, it's just that, for me, I find it difficult to impossible to put my romantic intentions to the side even after I've had some time and space to work through things. Even if I start to see her as a friend in terms of her personal qualities, she's still going to be good-looking to my eyes.
>>35022140>The way I see it, it makes my life worse to stay in touch with women I'm attracted to but who only see me as a friend. I will always, in some way, want to be with them romantically and sexually, and I can't really just take those feelings and shove them to the side without some degree of mental anguish. It also makes their life a little worse, because they want a friend and I can't provide that.That's kinda my thought process: unless I fuck someone else anytime soon (unlikely with me) I'll always have some desire for her. Even as I felt like I was getting my life back, I played games with her last week thinking it was all good but fear I might be falling back into it.>>35022137Id like to think I could get over it. We were friends before this, maybe time is all I need but she makes that a little hard with the occasional check in and I don't wanna say "fuck off".
Hi can someone please send me positive vibes, because I feel like I lost part my soul after the breakup. He wasn't my first boyfriend, but the first I felt intellectual deep connection to. Doesn't help that he recently talked about me again, and that his country has produced alot of music I listen to
Understand that it takes both to cooperate for the soul merging process to take place, and that you have to see what you did wrong as well as what he did wrong. You'll be able to find someone who can be compatible with you once again if you do.
After all the years of seeing my threads, what mental illnesses would you guys say I have?
>>35013192Looks like a clean bill o health from here.
>>35013192Just schizoid personality. It sucks when everything you do professionally requires dealing with other people.
At the least we know you’re not a troll and genuinely pretty fucked. You’ve been doing this since 2016 and that’s way too long to be committed to a bitYou, schooler and Howie (PBUB) are probably pretty up there for the worst members desu
Bump
That’s op bumping xer thread btw
How do I immigrate out of this country to a developed (first world) country? Please do not suggest developing countries or shitholes. I don't see the point of living if I have to live in this country.
>>35020128>this country."в этoй cтpaнe" бля лeбepaхa пиздyй в Гpyзию. Hac cлaвян в "цивилизoвaнных" cтpaн (цивилизoвaнных пиздeц) зa людeй нe дepжaт, гoвopю тeбe кaк эмигpaнт, кoтopoмy """пoвeзлo""" в 6 лeт.
You can sign a contract and you get to go to Ukraine, you even get paid for it.
Bo мнoгих cтpaнaх EC пocлe oбyчeния нa бaкaлaвpиaтe / мaгиcтpaтype мoжнo в yпpoщённoм пopядкe пoлyчить paбoчyю визy (нaпpимep в Иpлaндии или Иcпaнии). Ecли нeт вoзмoжнocти, тo eзжaй в Apмeнию, Cepбию, Лaтинcкyю Aмepикy или кyдa eщё пoлyчитcя пoкa нe зaкpыли гpaницы, a тaм yжe cмoжeшь нaкoпить дeнeг, пoлyчить oбpaзoвaниe и yeзжaть в дpyгyю cтpaнy.
>>35020128Russia is one of the few countries whose living conditions are improving that isn't the third world. The whole world is collapsing since the strait closed. The grass isn't greener.>t. American
if u have a bachelors degree then u can get into a masters degree. Bonus if it's a 2 year one. I thin you could do in the Netherlands a pre-masters (1 year) and then research masters (2 years)I guess work a part time job during it while looking for a serious job.
are there any pros to being single?no I don't want hookups, flings, casual dating or one night stands.
>>35022816Money and peaceTime to pursue anything you find interesting
Well yes. No drama, ability to save money and accomplish goals, you can develope new skills, you can create things. There are a million bonuses to being single but a lot of people just focus on the grass is greener and don't really do shit but wallow in misery which means when they do find a relationship they'll still be miserable and blame their gf/bf when really they're the problem
>>35022816Being single is better than being in an unhappy dead bedroom relationship.
You don't have a purpose or you wouldn't be asking this question
>>35022816travel to Asia and be a total slut. fuck pros and citizensother than that? time for hobbies and cookingyes, I like sex.
My mom abandoned me for several years and made me live with my abusive grandparents and now as an adult I have abandonment issues and constantly worry about my friends leaving me and want reassurance from them. I have enough of a handle on it now that (the vast majority of the time) I keep it to myself and act rationally, but the worries are still there in my mind. How do I unfuck myself?
>>35020290Or someone who had an abusive childhood and didnt let it fuck them up because they refuse to buy into jewish theories of the mind
>>35020292>didnt let it fuck them upIDS DA JOOOOOOOZ
>>35020292>>35020280You can't just le man up and stop symptoms of trauma and stress like shivering, voiding your bowels, headaches, or difficulty sleeping. These are physical problems, and all you can really do is hold faith in the idea that time heals all wounds. But in the end you'll never get all the time you spend as a broken person back.
>>35020292I guarantee you are fucked up in several ways
You basically have to push through and resist the urge to find relief when worry crops up. Whenever your mind tells you you "need" reassurance you remind yourself it's Bs and keep on going
What muscles should I workout so that I can last longer in bed?And by bed I mean a vagina.
>>35014468Outside of sex or during sex?
>>35015997Technically both, outside to train the muscle and during to stem the tide.People say either do kegels or do reverse kegels. I find the former to be dubious because the kegel is the muscle used to shoot the cum out, so doing those feel counter-intuitive. But a continuous contraction is different from rhythmic contractions. YMMV, I'm sure you can find studies advocating for it. The kegel is also used to harden the penis.Reverse kegels relax your pelvic floor, which helps if you cum fast for entirely body/muscle-reasons. Relaxing it usually means being more relaxed overall though, so it may have more to do with being relaxed than the muscle itself.Premature ejaculation is a difficult thing. The most academically verified method for control is the start-stop method (recommended to me by a sex therapist), but you're not going to become a fuck machine from it. It brings someone with PE up to near-normal function, it doesn't make the average man a stallion.
>>35017637>it doesn't make the average man a stallionthank you
>>35017929you're welcome
>>35013898Yes, it does.
Should I tell girls I have a small dick to filter out size queens?
>>35020737>Having a small dick is that serious?Having a small dick is not that serious. Being insecure about having a small dick is that serious.
>>35018132She didn't actually say this.
>>35021259Stop dude...
I think most guys with small dicks depend on the girl catching feelings first and investing to the point of having sex, if any girl knew a dude had a small dick before getting to know him she'd avoid him.
>>35018132Only if she expressly asks about the size. The only times I've said anything about the size of my penis to a woman it was when we were right at the point of taking our clothes off or when she's asked to touch it for the first time, and the response I've gotten every time is "i don't care"
I'm either going to be fired or quit my supermarket job in the next 1 - 2 months due to the manager being replaced with a shithead who expects me to do 6 hours of work in 3. What jobs can I even get other than retail and fast food? I'm 19 and 250pounds. I'm in college and need at least $2,000 a month so my options feel limited.
Unless you get creative it's gonna be retail or fast food man. No magic bullet. Check Indeed and whatnot, maybe look into security positions (easy work), but Wendy's, Safeway, Home Depot are always gonna be options
>>35022977Pick one that has a union like Safeway, so there's less of a chance for shitheads to ruin it. I think yokes might have a union, but I don't know for sure, just that they do exist in supermarkets.
I'm 35. Am I insane for wanting to start a PhD?pic related
Add more info, nigger, what do you think we are? People can start PhDs at any age if they are really interested or motivated by a topic. Given your ability to convey context and useful information, you're probably not very smart or socially apt either, so yes, a PhD is the perfect place for you.
No you're insane for starting a dumb ass /adv/ thread with so little information that it's impossible to give you advice.
>Be me, 18, male>Met a really pretty girl a few weeks ago>Has minimal social media presence, great relationship with her dad, is respectful, doesn’t have any male friends >We become friends>She trusts me heavy stuff about her life and I do too>Start hanging out and texting almost daily>Im now getting annoyed by herHey anons, what should I do? This girl is really sweet and genuinely beautiful, but her mere presence is starting to annoy the fuck out of me. The only thing that doesn’t annoy me about her is her dog, and ngl I’m starting to hate that fucker too. This is not the first time that something similar has happened to me. Usually, when I meet a girl and form a connection with her, I get annoyed and end up blocking them and avoiding them irl, I don’t want to do the same with this girl, but you tell me.
>>35019651Is she in therapy and/or on medication?It also seems like clingy or affectionate girls are just not your type. It's not really that big of a deal.
>>35019274You sure you're not BPD or some mentally ill fuck? What's the reason for this anyway?
>>35019274If you're meeting pretty girls and after you form a meaningful connection with them you don't take the next step because they 'annoy' you, that's probably because you're gay, anon.
>>35019274yo i can feel you man, i am in the same position my girl is so annoying and boring but i am lazy to break up with her. i am thinking about breaking up after one day after my birthday so i could get gifts from her lol.
>>35019274Since it's not the first time then you are the problem dude,bro even the dog is annoying the living shit out of you so it's defenitely not a 100% clingy/ obssessive girl situation. You probably do not know how to manage your time nor your energy around women. Hanging out and texting daily is almost unnatural such accessibility is not normal it'll eventually bore you out and annoy you. Take a break for now, dont force shit and it's ok to be awkward to a certain point at that age desu
My girl and I have been dating for a year now. She's been friends with this dude for a couple of years, even before we started dating. He gives me orbiter vibes. According to her, he's willing to do anything for her. Whenever she needs help with anything, he'll drop his plans and help her out. When we start dating, she refuses to tell him that she's gotten in a relationship for the longest time because "it'll make him feel betrayed". I keep telling her to tell him, but her excuse is, "We've been dating for weeks now, and he'd feel bad because I hid it from him." When I ask her, "If that was the case, why didn't you just tell him in the beginning? Why would you hide it from a friend?" she isn't able to answer me.After enough nagging, she finally tells him. He acts kinda passive-aggressive towards her on chat. Few days later, he asks to hang out. While talking to her, he starts crying because "you haven't been texting me these days, we rarely meet too" and "so you have enough time to get in a relationship but not enough to spend with me". That felt really manipulative to me. What kind of friend does that?I tell her, "This dude does things for you that no normal friend would do, he hasn't ever been in a relationship either, I'm like 99% sure that he likes you". She denies it. She says that she had doubts about that too, but that's not the case.I tell her that I'm not comfortable with her hanging out with this dude one-on-one. It's fine if there's another mutual friend present. She agrees to it, but she doesn't ever stick to her word.This one time, she was supposed to go on a 2-week vacation with her family. The day before she leaves, I ask her to meet up, but she refuses because "I have something planned with that dude". I get pissed at her and leave her on read. She panics and leaves him midway to see me.
>>35022298>>35022878This and this, OP. Both see the reality. >t. 40 oldfag seen too much shit
>>35022298>>35022878Facts. I used to think I had a girlfriend. She had an esimp who would pay for her shit. We ate on his money a few times. I tried to get her to cut that crap out, set an example and explained why it was wrong. She ends up using me for sex and emotional support until she got bored, and still went to see her ex behind my back. Who even knows how many other online orbiters she had. And she was fat. But every woman is like this now. Take what you can get, or get out. But don't be calling this girl your girlfriend, OP. She ain't yours. In fact it sounds like you're just another guy whose strings she knows how to pull. Words like "boyfriend" are just convenient tools for women to avoid giving pussy to simps. It doesn't mean shit and it doesn't stop her from cheating on you with the guy you DON'T know about, lol. Kick the hoe to the curb. Once these stressors start and it's only on your end, you wind up in a miserable one-sided relationship. You can't change a hoe
>>35020789Men and women cannot be platonic friends unless both are already in committed relationships with other people. He has feelings for her, he will eventually snatch her out from under you, they will go out for a while and then she will dump him too because she's a stupid whore, yes it happened to me and yes, I am speaking from experience.
>>35020789Hey OP, I'm an oldfag with exp under my belt. This won't end well, I suggest you dump her. I've seen the pattern play out before and have had it happen to me and seen it many times before with other couples. Your GF is a people-pleaser, a female doormat. She is neurotic and she feels everyone needs to have positive opinions about her. She hasn't learned that it is impossible to appease everyone. And by trying to please everyone, she appeals to no-one. She has no idea how to form and stick to priorities. She most likely doesn't even know what those are or how to apply them. She has no boundaries, if she had them she would tell the clingy orbiter to back off when he was trying to guilt trip her. Judging by her behaviours that you cited I don't think she is attracted to him. He is weak, needy, and comes off as effeminate which is natural pussy repellant. However because your GF is most likely a neurotic people pleasing doormat she is still going to feel compelled to placate him because she feels responsible for other people's feelings to the point she's a bit mentally unsound. I don't think she is going to fuck him. But she is most likely going to do something stupid like get drunk and reciprocate something forced onto her like a kiss from the needy simp who may take a opportunity to fire his shot into her.If you insist on keeping this girl, which I highly suggest you don't, you need to escalate into vague aggression where you confront this guy and tell him that him bothering your relationship is not in the best interests of his physical safety. You politely tell him you will beat the shit out him if he doesn't fuck off and get his own life. I highly doubt not recommend it because Simp orbiters are the type to cry to the cops.Your GF isn't wife material or mother material. If you had kids with her, and a pervert tried to get in her good graces to molest your kids, your GF is the type to turn a blind eye in case she offends the predator. I'd dump.
>>35022990>ContinuedAnd if you dump, you need to make it cold and clean and give her no room to talk it out. She has proven to you time and again that you cannot take her at her word. Trust was already violated when she agreed to abide by your concerns and she went ahead and broke them anyway. Which tells you that your confidence in her means less to her than the opinions of outsiders. She also opens the door to the relationship to outsiders, such as telling the orbiter what you had confided in her. Your relationship is no longer you + her. It is now you + her + the feelings of the orbiter. And it was she who dragged them into the relationship. And she was able to skirt around your complaints by agreeing with you (people pleasing you) and then her actions do the opposite of what she said she would honor.Meaning she cannot even be trusted to have a goodbye talk, because she will undoubtedly try to make more empty superficial promises that she will break later. So dump her, and dump her in a flash.
If I cut because I'm upset that I was banned (unfairly imo) on social media will I be able to not be embarrassed about it going forward in life? It sounds (and is) pathetic as fuck. I do not know how much I care though.
>>35025412You are a pathetic loser lying about her because you are butt hurt over your bruised ego. You didn't know her 7 years ago.
Just found out that the guy that this cute girl I know constantly hangs around is actually her brother and not her bf, but I hate how the relief I feel just makes me look like pic related.
>>35025969when i was first dating my gf i got jealous about this one guy interacting with loads of her posts and getting likes back but it turned out he was gay
>>35025901no, you need something better to be depressed abouttry torpedoing friendships and finding out people you care about died without you knowing and being completely broke and getting on your boss’s boss’s bad side and having your bills go up through no fault of your own and knowing that as soon as your aging mother can’t work you won’t be able to keep a roof over the family’s heads alone and losing your ability to taste you’re so depressed and having absolutely no prospects socially or romantically
How do I (gently) tell a woman I don't want to sleep with her anymore? Long story short. The sex is bad. And I think I'm just not all that attracted to her.
>>35022679I'm not dating her. It's like a friends with benefits thing.
>>35022676Can you post the pics here as well?
>>35022687Sure. I'll even post 'em on my instagram to really send home the message.
>>35022681Okay, but do you want to keep being friends without benefits, or do you want to stop seeing her entirely?
>>35022947No. We can be friends.
Anyone else who wasted a big part of their youth doing something they regret? I spent from my teens to late 20s addicted to mmorpg gaming and online chatting/drama. I quit those things now and replaced them with things like cooking, learning, travel, anime, movies, music, but I wish I'd started so much sooner
>>35022730Shut up you subversive kike
>>35022734
>>35022704I spent from ~23-29 as a suicidally depressed NEET doing nothing but reading and playing vidya all day. I'm 31 and have a job and my own place now, so I've graduated into being a regular mildly depressed wagie. Still no social life outside of work but it's progress.
>>35022765>progress
>>35022808My low was very low indeed. Doing stuff (alone) on the weekends, getting into cooking and exercise, and going months without being distracted by suicidal ideation is the best I've been since before my life exploded to begin with. It's still not good though, I do admit. Even at work people to out of their way to talk to me but nobody's asking for my Instagram or anything.
