for the past 2 years, I've been working on getting my bachelor's degree in CS. i can tolerate living here by basically ignoring my mom, pretending she doesn't exist, and leaving the house as much as possible. but i'm starting to wonder if the degree is the right path. my mom basically crippled me by not teaching me how to drive. a lot of internships need a car to get to. and i don't have any friends in this city because i came at a later age and no car. i will be getting 2 part-time jobs soon but it might not be enough to save up for a car + driving school. would love to have a regular retail job but they don't like hiring students (even tho they barely give hours nowadays).the only reason why i'm not getting kicked out is because she does that thing where after an argument, she'd say "you can always leave you know" and i did. i became homeless and almost died in the attempt. so now she just doesnt say anything probably out of guilt. since then i've been very patient working on this degree just so i can find a decent job that lets me live by myself. but i'm losing confidence that this is the right path. there's a really terrible tech recession right now. i want to be a software engineer but that's out of reach for someone in my financial situation.what are my options really? i just want long-term stability and independence. after i graduate college, i'm thinking of finding any retail job that lets me work full-time and then finding roommates to survive rent. then focus on building an SWE portfolio and looking for internships. not really confident in that plan.
>>34648160You already assumed it in your post. I also told you the answers, but you prefer to devise excuses, beacuase real change would require you to change your life to much and youre a conformist, at least given what you wrote so far. You etheir cant read or dont want to hear answers.
>>34648199no, you would rather listen to what you THINK i am saying than actually listen to what i am saying. i literally just told you what i am doing exactly in the OP. i am not sitting on my ass doing nothing. i literally just told you everything right there. but somehow people are more fixated on the fact that i am openly voicing how much i dont like a person in my life who has done me wrong and happens to be my mother. she has set me back in many ways by not being a good parent and i am allowed to acknowledge that and react to how that person treated me accordingly. it is not "acting the victim." i am acknowledging that a lot of the shitty things that happened to me were out of my control and i can be lenient on myself instead of wallowing in depression like a lot of NEETs and hikkikomoris do. that is precisely why i am able to take responsibility for my life now and make decisions for my future.
>>34648215Acknowleding is one thing, making a post in /adv ane bitching that your mom didnt teach you how to drive is another.You want to segway into some other shit, but the OP was about you being in shitty situation because your mother didnt prapare you for adulthood.I dont defend her, i belive you tgat she is toxic, but at the same time you are an adult and she supports still supports you while you acquire education. You have a choice, ethier try to get some job in bigger city where no license isnt the issue and go from thereor just keep studing while relying on your family and thus tolerate toxicity. I belive you just want to vent and arent prepared to do 1st thing tho, thats what I have trpuble with., /adv isnt for venting.
>>34645790First make sure you're not financially dependant on them. Then, proceed the stage of acceptance, I didn't read your post because don't care but start accepting in your heart that you don't love them as much as you think you do, since they are toxic. Acceptance, tough, but need it. Finally, develop discipline to limit contact with them and create your own family as well as more friends and work relationships maybe. Good luck.
>>34645790I'll let you know when I find out.>t. 28 and still living with toxic family, probably will continue to do so for the next several years and/or until my mother bankrupts my dad and makes us homelessIf you are studying CS then do a good job and commit to the path, people will try to demoralise you but you should ignore them, you don't need the economy to be good you just need a fucking job, and that's a lot easier to get. Plus push come to shove you can do an MSc in ML and jump in on the AI bubble.>after i graduate college, i'm thinking of finding any retail jobUhhh maybe but try to get a CS job first and keep looking for CS jobs while you are working. Also, keep in mind that you can contact a recruiter agency and while they will pocket some of your money these people are also pretty good at getting jobs.Anyway I know this might sound crazy, but believe in yourself. You will endure what you must and you will find the way you must walk. Things feel hard and complex when you grow up in a stressful environment but often in life stuff will just work out for you. Hasn't happened for me but both of my bum parents got a ton of opportunities presented to them on a silver platter despite not deserving, doing, or planning for any of them. All it takes is a little bit of luck. So believe in yourself and keep playing the roulette of life. It's the only form of gambling that it pays off to keep playing.Good luck chief.
Spent my entire life trying to "improve" myself, asking myself what is wrong with me. Now, I realized life was stacked against men for reasons outside of my control. I never fit in, shamed and excluded just for you being me. Glimpses of hope exist, but they fade just as quickly as they enter life. You constantly have to mask your real self just to get a resemblance of fitting in, which tears on your energy. Struggling nevertheless for a better life with deep hope and restless optimism, sometimes even getting very close, only to be beaten down again and again, either from perils of your own mind and body (acne for decades since being 12, permanent visible health damage from a treatment based on a misdiagnosis), or from the outside. And some day, after struggling for years and years, its enough, you burnt out, gave up, accepted your lot. Realizing I have introverted ADHD was, on the one hand very good, as I realized there is nothing inherently wrong with me, that I am just wired differently, just as millions of others are. This massively boosted my feelings self worth. On the other hand, it drained me of all will to fight. I will never win the battle against a differently wired brain. I will always be weird, not a part of the group, never able to fully utilize my intellectual capacity. Why still try to live and subject myself to all the pain associated with trying? For fleeting moments of happiness that arent even guaranteed to happen?>inb4 just be happy alone Sadly human is a social creature. I have yet to see someone saying this who isnt massively coping.
>>34648998>Will medication resolve this if this is a course that I genuinely am interested in?The short answer is yesThe long answer is no but also yes.To skip a big monologue, ADHD people say the meds don't fix your life, it's you who fixes it. The meds just sharpen and stabilise focus, but you have to manually use that focus on productive things using your own choices. But in reality yes they help. They give you the extra boost needed for expanded focus to begin with. They help you stick with shit you don't enjoy but have to get done for a greater goal. Like cleaning your house, making your dinners, actually remembering to shower. Etc. all that shit improved for me after meds. Even got a job and stuck with it for almost two years now and I relatively enjoy it. Also got a wife and kids and am competent at it. Without meds I regress back into a scatter brained mess who can't even think straight.
>>34649052I have relied upon routines and willpower until now, but I am no longer able to gather up willpower of any sort and am watching all of the schedules and small progress that I made last year crumble away, and I am too withdrawn and exhausted to react.I am so desperate that I have finally forced myself to begin the process for ADHD diagnosis and hopefully medication, but I fear it may be too late since I have heard that it takes forever for that process to finish, that and my parents are fed up with me.Is there anything I can do in the meantime to hold it together? I have started using caffeine and nicotine in large quantities (this helps me get out of bed in the morning) and might start doing HIIT exercises to keep myself focused and motivated.
>>34649103Well first off, you might wanna check for any contributing factors that lead to your derailment. You said you relied upon routines and willpower and it dissolved, and now you're watching your way of life crumble bit by bit and you've no life in you to fight back and get shit back in order.Has anything major happened in your life within the past 5 years? Anything from:>Moving home>Getting fired>Changing jobs>Lost a long term friendship>Went through a break up from a meaningful romantic relationship >Diagnosed with physical disease>Suffered any severe injury that resulted in hospitalisation>Witnessed a severe injury that was as brutal>Witnessed the sickness of close relatives or friends (their diseases or their decline mentally)>Had a death in your close circle (family/friends)>Had a near death incident occurComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34649129That is the thing, nothing really happened for those 5 years and that has been a huge blow for my self-esteem since I used to always have an achievement of some sort.That and how I was somewhat forced to be the host to extended family, since I study online, for a few months towards the end of last year. As soon as they left I basically started sleeping in everyday and stopped going to the gym. I have also barely made progress in my current course which was supposed to 'be the one' and help me find stable employment, but my withdrawal from my studies has started to affect my sleep and is causing me to feel daily anxiety and dread. I do not know if I am going to make it in 2026.
>>34649165Hmm yeah that's strange if nothing severe or dramatic happened in your life and you spontaneously caught depressive or inattentive issues. I firmly believe all things have their causes, including things like depression or isolation or social withdrawal or demotivation. They all gotta start from somewhere. Figuring that out is tricky enough with investigating life shit or personal history. But there's other crazy causes too. Black mold is one. Dead serious. I've met so many people in my time who, lead a relatively stable life, moderately successful, their moods the same as everyone, mostly neutral, plenty of happy moments, and sometimes normal lows. Cuz life is highs and lows that's normal. But all of a sudden they just slip into dissociative depressive lalaland, their focus is shattered, motivation is fucked everything out of nowhere, just rolls in like a fog in their life.Then they figure out their home had black mold spores somewhere, could be under a bed behind a fridge, splotches of black fungus, small circular clusters in the home.That fucking mold can cause crazy shit for the mind if you are in prolonged exposure. Can even be in a relatively clean home just hiding. It causes depression, anxiety, dissociation, brain fog, lethargy after a while of being in the same space as it.
I often hear this advice when I talk about having missed out on my youth and the social developmental milestones which didn't happen with me and that I'm soso young and that I still can turn my life around. But where is that "outside"?I go to the arthouse cinema every week but most of the people are there in groups and the single ones disappear the moment the credits stopped rolling. I've been doing this for 3 years now and I only embarassed myself three times. (nothing happened)I have no real friends that could invite me anywhere (parties)Nobody goes to clubs/bars/festivals/concerts alone and they're fucking expensive>join a sports clubI suck at every sport that isn't swimming, I might be genuinely handicapped.So /adv/, where should I go?
>>34645698What part of that exactly sounds hellish? Keep in mind I'll be starting my drive after a 12 hour shift. :3
>>34639225Wargaming group, bridge club, line dancing, knitting circle, photography class, birding group, walking club, museum tour, opera, theatre, dance, poetry reading, stand up club, drum circle, cycle touring, Friday night Magic,
>>34646094Sleeping outside 3 nights in a row does it for me. That feeling when the cold wakes you up every 5 minutes and there's literally nothing else to do but accept it.Tfw being with other people who haven't showered for 3 days, too. Very Bad stink.Especially if you have to drive back home afterwards together.Never had a satisfying meal during one of those either. Forget about drinking milk.And then of course getting injured sucks a lot too, but that's not guaranteed to happen.But you will have to talk to the other people but it's like what is there to talk about? I'd get in fights with anyone after 3 days of all that other stuff. I'd probably end up killing and eating the co-hikers lol.
>>34647373>the cold wakes you up every 5 minutesYou're doing it wrong.
>>34639384>2026>Not going to Thailand to make friends
>3rd world shit country>not male, almost 30 years old>boss discovers that I'm mentally ill and wants stated in my contract that I'm disabled>lost my contract and I need to get through medical evalution for a new one>seek free psychiatrist who just ignored the help I asked and made me pay for pills that made me be flled with murderous thoughts>shit pills are a waste of money and I can't do shit besides waiting for exams>it's taking months and I'm currently unemployed>while I'm waiting I've tried to apply to another jobs, nobody calls me for interview and if there's interview it's with groups where I go completely ignored>saving money as possible>had to be isolated at home waiting for doctors to call me>the money I've saved is now gone>tried to apply to a social security program, but still have no answer>my mental health is worse than before>divorced parents doesn't want me to stay at their houses>they at least offered help, but it's not enough for me to pay the bills and eat at the same timeComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
what is the book in the OP image, or is it just AI?
>>34648946It's not AI. I don't know what book this is.There's another image and this one is called Ruthless Vows.
>>34648940>I'm illWhat do you have?
Step by step (yeah, I need a guide, I'm dumb).
>>34645272Thanks, but I'm not interested semitic schizoism.
>>34642139dont fix yourself. be the worst version of yourself you can be. but treat yourself with dignity and respect. after that then you can clean your room.
>>34646613Not OP, but do you mean like Jordan Peterson's "become a monster" as in becoming more assertive and self-respecting, or do you mean to become like a rebel of some sort?I also want to stop being a loser in his 20s, I am starting to lose hope and other around me are starting to think that I am retarded (used to be a nerd, so it is just fatigue rather than retardation).
>>34648739i simply mean to just accept yourself as you are as an imperfect person. many people try to put on a perfect image and try to be the best version of themselves, but upholding that image 100% of the time is taxing, and eventually you're gonna see that ugly, imperfect version and you have to be OKAY with that version of yourself to make an real improvement. everything else would just be a performance. having integrity even when you're feeling gritty is what can keep a bad time from turning into the worst time. you dont have to put on a show for anyone, not even yourself. Just be okay not feeling the need to be at your best at all times.
>>34642139Just read. If something is missing beyond that there was no hope for you, anon.
What do you think of people with no facebook nor instagram profiles? I don't like sharing anything of my life so i deleted them, am i social outcast because of this or what?
>>34648775It probabily gives girls the ick, since they use you to see if you are socially " respected". Remember that women are social animals and developed to be a lot more conformist than men because they needed the group much more than men being weaker and having to look after babies. Man is much more a lonly wolf type, but many modern men use social media to have a chance to get checked by women. This is my opinion, I may be wrong...
>>34648775they're the only people who can righteously bitch about AI taking all the jobsthe normie morons who voluntarily fed all their data to the american-tech-information-blackhole for all those years, in exchange for a shitty service full of ads can go fuck themselves. and I'm laughing to their face when they tell me they can't get a job interview
>>34648801You're not wrong but forcing yourself on social media just cause of a bitch is a fast path to misery. A man using social media should only be doing so AFTER he's established a few women
>ClubsNot really made for dancing anymore, you look weird if you are alone>Festivals Works enough but you also look weird if you are alone>Dancing clubsDo not give enough freedom to do the dances you wantI want to dance, I want to vibe! I want to lose myself in the music!Possibly with people who also want to do the same but alone is fine too. It's just very relaxing for my mind even though I'm a bit awkward usually.
you sound like a huge gay
>>34648776No, I just want to dance because it makes me less stressed and I can forget things for a bit while dancing, why would dancing be "gay"?
>>34648468At home aloneYou can't dance in public any more cell phone cameras and the Internet ruined it
I live my life with an aura of negativity because everything I want to do in life, every long term goal, I feel I cannot do. I think to myself, "I'd be delusional to think I could do that."So then thats what I must be. How do I develop delusional levels of self confidence?
>>34644062wouldnt that be giving up as the posters above us warn against?
>>34645442If the game is still fun, how's that giving up?
>>34644062It’s not wrong to pick your battles but you can’t give up on everything. Eventually, you have to commit to at least one thing in life that you can do well and continue to improve. Hopefully, that will be something you can build a career out of.
>>34645639>that competitive game isn't for meif I once wanted to be highly skilled and competitive in this game, isnt that an admission of defeat?
>>34648039>Isn't that an admission of defeat?You have to acknowledge a failure to learn from it. If you never accept defeat, you will never learn. The goal is to see defeat as a positive and grow from it. If you want to continue to grow as a competitive player, knowing how and why you lost is important. If you no longer want to be a competitive player in that game, think about other games that might fit your skillset better or find new ways to motivate yourself. You can do the same thing, just try a new angle of attack in order to fail in a different way. Growth isn't about ignoring failure exists at all, it's about accepting failure as part of the process of becoming better and adapting your mindset to see losing as a positive. If you grow better with every failure, then it no longer becomes a negative.
maybe the cartilage or wtv didnt harden yet and maybeee i can get taller?just 1 inch please and has anyone done the LLS and should i go for it me is 5'9
>>34648483Just tell women you are 14 and still growing.
>>34648978breaking our legs is what a sissy cuckold who wants to kowtow to the gynocracy, would do. Being a faggot is a tradition for the males in your family, I suppose.
>>34648483>just 1 inch pleaseSTOPBELIEVINGMEMES
>>34648483Stand up straight.Everybody slouches, and a military posture can add a real inch or more to your height.It can also add the appearance of more, since studies show people always overestimate the height of those "standing tall."
>>34649012>Stand up straight.i look retarded
Here is my dilemma: I have been burnt out for the past 5 years since finishing high-school and have left many courses half-finished or 90% done, and abandon any friend groups or projects that are working for me, and because of this I may be getting kicked out at the end of the year. The thing is that I am too exhausted to truly care but am taking steps to fix my situation e.g. taking steps to getting my ADHD diagnosed and medicated (I zone out for hours at a time, or spend time sluggishly pacing), improving my diet and taking vitamins, walking every few days (too exhausted to work out). Now my main problem is that I spend almost all day zoned out, napping, or pacing, and the brainfog only lifts and my ambitions truly flare when I have slept for 3-6 hours (sometimes in broken up parts rather than a whole continuous sleep session) in the late afternoon before awakening in the late evening or early morning with a few hours of mental clarity and focus to study or plan/organize things that will help me to get a job and move out. How can I make the most of my limited focus and mental clarity?
>>34648989>because of this I may be getting kicked out at the end of the year.I certainly hope so.
I am desperate to move forward
>>34649016I never wanted to end up as a failure, but alas here we are. I am trying to make an effort to improve as you surely read in my post.I am sorry for having irritated (You)
>>34648989>getting my ADHD diagnosed and medicatedcaused by parasites and toxins
>>34649063raw meat, raw milk and raw honey
I just got finished taking all the practice tests. Should I schedule the (A+) exam or should I study more
>>34643393>Should I schedule the (A+) exam or should I study moreYou failed all the practice tests. What makes you think you'll pass the real one?
>>34643393try to get a good score at least... dumbass
I recommend people skip A+ as it's so rudimentary it's mostly a waste of time. Make portfolio instead
>>34645656What about Security+
>>34648854Yep. That one is universally more valuable.Idk what kind of job this is for BUT the portfolio is also a big deal. If you're a coder or something
What about the women's libido? I have been in a relationship with my gf since 4 months and sometimes she wants to kiss/have sex and sometimes she refuses it. Its kind of vibe killer for me when she tells me she doesn't want to kiss me right now - is it even possible? For me, its kind of natural you want to kiss or make out with your partner. I dont suspect cheating here - she has no friends, she meets only with me and her mother. I dont want to push her or something but I feel kind of insecure in such situations. Is it normal? how I should act in such situations?
>>34648689>she has no friends, she meets only with me and her mother.how did u meet her?if that is true she is just introverted and need to be alone too and you sound like they typical extroverted guy that cannot understand people can be different and less social than you.
>>34648807on tinder
>>34648689Probably start looking for a backup.
>>34648689just do it
>>34648877>on tinder>>34648878
The other moms at the gym mog my wife but I mog their husbands. How do I turn my wife into a gym bimbo so we can double mog
>>34648802You are not married. Stop torturing yourself with psychotic fake narrative
>>34648802try sucking a bbc and se what happens
>go on date with coworker (we’re remote and different branches so would never see her in office)>have known each other a year>kiss on said date and confess feelings to each other>but throughout our dynamic I have always been the sole initiator, and even then she flakes 1/3 times>this was our third time hanging out but our first “date”>whenever I text her, it sounds just like she’s talking to her friend>say stuff like “I’m looking forward to spending some time with you” and she ignores it entirelyWhat’s going on here?
She just doesn't like you enough to actually put in effort. Probably just keeping you warm as an option while she dreams about a guy she actually likes. Have some self respect and stop this. Women are supposed to chase you. Not the other way around
>>34648144I said I was quite interested in her and she said she was too. We were both blushing, felt very high school (despite being early 30s), though on the flip side she said she “takes a while” to like someone. I also told her I’d like her to initiate more because it’s literally always me. She said she would but she hasn’t.>>34648153Our next date is already planned, logistically it requires her to stay at my house which she agreed to, though she said it as “thanks for letting me crash!” I guess it’s too drastic to cancel and too early to ask her what’s going on in her head, so I guess I am just to let it happen and see if it’s any different
>>34648133>I have always been the sole initiator>she said she “takes a while” to like someonei mean can she be more direct
>>34648406Then why does she bother and why all the blushing?
Bump
How do I escape looksmaxing brain rot?I can’t leave the house without thinking about mogging, maxxing it ruins my day thinking I have to be looking my best every minute of the dayHow do I into normality again I’m so tired
>>34647942stop being homo
>>34647942Start blackminning instead
