Something surprising happened today. I met a girl a few months ago that was eerily similar to me in many ways. She loved to have fun. She laughed at stupid shit like fart jokes and racist memes. She loves the color black and listens to rock music. She hates cleaning and her car is full of trash. She loves to make her own dresses and would show them off to me. She wasn't religious and couldn't understand Christians but was more thoughtful than most of them. I thought pursuing this girl would've been the easiest thing in the word until she mentioned she didn't want to have kids. Then I put her in this limbo where I wanted to still be her friend but I would still have feelings for her in the back of my head. So it was difficult and I could never clarify that to her. At some point, she mentioned making a new friend at work and gradually I noticed she started paying less attention to me. I know the guy and he's a pretty chill dude so I can see why she would like him. Today she posted a story of her and this new guy together. I'm not mad or upset but I felt something change in me and I'm not sure what.I've spent a lot of time on the net and internalized this rhetoric that women don't like being approached by guys. When I see someone attractive, my first instinct is to pretend I'm not interested and keep looking forward. Instead of telling her I'm interested, I just stick to friendly conversation and never really make a move beyond asking for their Instagram. And even if I did have their Instagram, I still don't do anything (do I just pop in and say hi or what?)
Time and time again, I'm proven wrong. Before I met that girl, there was another cute girl that came to work. I would talk to her and we would make bants. She mentioned she hated when guys would ask her out. Then months later she started dating another coworker (and the dude is not the best looking dude desu). When I saw them post a story that they were dating I was shocked. It made me wonder if that could've been me and now that door had closed in front of me.I never had a dad growing up so I have no idea how to really express interest in a way that's healthy. I hate the idea of using pickup lines and anything cheesy like that. I've slowly been overcoming this rhetoric over the past 2 years and just being honest. If I see a girl at work, I say hi and make initiate convo if we're alone. If I notice something different about her, I comment on it (like complimenting her new earrings). I'm really good at that. But how do I truly express desire? Do I just tell her I want her? Do I wait for obvious hints before making any moves? I hate the idea of making someone uncomfortable because I misread being friendly as interest. I've had so many doors close on me because I was afraid of this.
>>34587254Doesn't sound like anyone's done anything wrong here.If you had embarked on a relationship, the kid thing would have become a massive problem.Both of you expressed your preferences and acting accordingly.>women don't like being approached by guysWay too complicated of a paradigm to sum up in one sentence.I wouldn't imagine a hospital nurse would appreciate you, her 23rd patient of the day, asking for her number while she's in her scrubs stressed to the gills.The same woman is likely to be more receptive off the clock, in her finery, with the intention of socializing.>my first instinct is to pretend I'm not interested and keep looking forward. Instead of telling her I'm interested, I just stick to friendly conversation and never really make a move beyond asking for their InstagramAgain, normal. Asking for their socials signals mild platonic interest without laying it on too thick. Gives them the opportunity not to give them to you, so if they do they're probably signalling mild interest back.Most of the long relationships I've had have been with women I was friends with before, and not ones I met actually specifically seeking out a partner.
>>34587272>Both of you expressed your preferences and acting accordingly.That's the thing. I never really did clarify that to her. I would just keep hanging out with her. I did ask her out a few times but she didn't seem that enthusiastic about going. Or at least that's how I interpreted it. We would converse nearly every night at one point. But she never made any overt moves that she was interested in me beyond talking and getting to know each other so I assumed she didnt see me that way
>>34587254I don't think you are doing anything wrong. You seem to be a considerate and honorable man, which is amazing, but you're not here to listen to some random anon praising you.I think in life we sometimes let opportunities pass us, and that's ok, we don't know what can happen in this or that scenario, we don't know how the other person will react, what they think or want, etc. We all have things we regret doing or not doing at the time, it happens to everyone. Best we can do is learn from our own experiences and either try to act slightly differently each time and see how things turn out, or wait for things to be ideal (which can be quite difficult).But rest assured that you didn't do anything wrong brother. I'd just say that it's ok to be more daring if you feel like you click well with the person. Sometimes we do have to risk things a bit in life.Best wishes to you, man.
I'm lost, /adv/.I'm 33 with no education. Not even a highschool diploma or GED. Ever since my mid 20's I've been taking care of my mom full time after her health took a sharp turn. She couldn't walk, she had to be on oxygen, all that stuff. So for the last 6 or so years I've been cooking her meals, cleaning the house, doing chores and all that stuff. My life was focused around her.She died yesterday. This house is mortgaged and it's going to sell. I have no education or training. And I live in a no where town in a country that is experiencing a huge recession.I don't know what to do. There's no real jobs where I live and rent is extremely expensive. I'm on disability due to mental issues but the payout is a pittance(1400 dollars a month when rent alone averages 1000+). Where do I go from her
>>34585711So, I work in the states but as for in demand trades?The answer is yes. Every trade is in demand. Every motherfucker and his brother went for tech jobs and now that field is shrinking due to ai noise. Meanwhile everywhere housing is in massive demand and there are never enough people to build them. If I had to give a recommendation, Equipment Operator doesn't require much hard math or body damage, but you do have to be able to pass every drug test ever because they are always getting tested. A lot of people can't manage that, so its a good angle. I am a surveyor, but that requires a fair bit of trig knowledge so unless you think you can do some mid highschool math with ease it might be a hard one. Look for the word 'apprenticeship' and you will have an in.
>>34585731I don't do any drugs besides my anti depressants, so on that field I'm covered.It's just that where I live is very dead economically. It's a retirement town for all intents and purposes. Where do you look into training for such things?
>>34585919Good question, again I only know what is avialable in the US, but my journey went1. google apprenticeship programs in [my state]2. learn that there are about 500 different programs and scrolled through all of them to find something I might be good at. 3. Try out for an industrial electritian. 3a. The line to apply was litterally a mile long.3again. Try out for a surveyor4. Get set up with the union, union controls who gets hired.5. Wait about 2 months doing a shit retail job.6. Got hired and started learning how to do the job.Every trade will be a bit different but most will follow roughly that pattern. I really expect there wont be much in your town, but don't move into the city yet. Just make a few long drives out to somewhere populated until you get into a union that looks like it has work for you. Again, Operator is just a suggestion, you might do well in HVAC, or becoming a machinist, or a freggen cake maker. Who knows! just avoid diving on a tech sector job unless you want to learn COBAL and be the youngest person on earth who knows how to code in COBAL,
Getting your high school diploma/GED should be a priority, hopefully you find the motivation to do so.You are likely overstating the severity of the recession depending on where you live.If you are severely overweight, seriously research and consider things like ozempic at this point. It gets expensive but for you it might be subsidized.Also consider anti-depressants if you haven't already.You will likely need to move somewhere more populated with better job prospects, if you can't make something work with your extended family.You can definitely get things on track, it depends on how hard you're willing to work for it though.
>>34586049I applied for a few jobs last night. Hopefully I get one. This is going to sound weird coming from an autist on 4chan but I'm actually very personable and charismatic(this part I'm told), so I'd like a job that focuses that.I'll have to ask for any apprenticeship programs locally. Hopefully we have something. Right now my main priority is getting my driver's license. I always put it off, and especially near the end I was afraid to get it. When my sister had to take our mom places it meant I got a break. I was afraid to lose that freedom.>>34586095>Getting your high school diploma/GED should be a priority, hopefully you find the motivation to do so.I have a fair bit of work experience prior to me needing to take care of my mom, so I'm hoping that can carry me. But odds are you're right.>You are likely overstating the severity of the recession depending on where you live.It's real bad up here in Canada. Grocery prices seem to spike every day. Before mom passed we were scrabbling to keep utilities paid.>Also consider anti-depressants if you haven't already.That's something I already take.>You will likely need to move somewhere more populated with better job prospects, if you can't make something work with your extended familyYou know, I always wanted that. But now it's terrifying.
I REPEATVOMIT CAME OUT OF MY PENISI SWEAR TO GOD IT'S VOMITWTF DO I DO
>>34587279Go to the hospital, for fuck's sake.If this isn't a LARP, your prostate or its pipework are badly damaged or you have prostate cancer
>>34587279>Wtf....... just go to a hospital.Genius
>>34587279Could be a fistula, i.e. there is some conection between your digestive and urinary system. Not good. You need to see a doctor.
im no docter but that sounds like AIDS to me bro
>be student, live with parents >work as a tutor>had some free time before work>Hit the gym and came back to campus after using deodorant >Teach as usual>Go home>Parents tell me I'm smelly as all hellHow exactly do I ask (and apologize to) my students if I was stinky
>>34587073Iraq Lobster
>>34587073Lots of deodorants today are being manufactured without aluminium chlorohydrate because schizos decided that a biologically inert chemical was bad for them because it contains an element used to make bicycle frames.The outcome of this is that only about half the available brands stop you from sweating, the rest are just fragrances.Check the ingredients.
I am Autistic and have been hypersexual even when I didn't know what sex was. I remember having waifus at 5 years old and getting fantasies like shrinking and being unbirthed. Thing is that I also had an early sexual experience so that might have been the reason why I was so hypersexual. Either way, I am now a pervert and I want to do my best to make it to where my kids avoid what I went throughIs it rational to think "You had sexual fantasies about [insert character] so you should ban your kids from watching that show"? Would it be right to ban the Teen Titans because I went out of my way to look up "starfire naked" when I finally had a way to use the internet?
>>34583303I wouldn't ban internet access outright, but definitely restrict it to a few hours. I would limit computer access to a family computer or game console until he gets into middle school. Make him have some regular activity that forces him to go outside, or at the very least not cooped up in the house all day. Bonus if it's something like a sport that forces him to interact with other kids do he can make friends.
>>34583303Parents that in any way restrict their childrens' internet access are always the weird people with permanent shit-eating grins and plastic wrap on their furniture for some reason.
>>34583303you shouldnt have kids in the first place because there's a high chance you'll abuse them and perpetuate the cycle, it's not about tv or video games
>>34583303If you don't have kids don't worry about that until you at least have a stable relationship. That being said you're right that TV, video games, etc. does promote hyper sexuality in kids. My nieces and nephews basically live in the woods and are pretty much normal teenagers who laugh when they see people naked rather than get aroused.
>>34583303What I think is reasonable regarding access to internet and stuff for kids is>must use a shared computer in the middle of the living room up until they get their own pc (around 14~15 years old)>must use video game consoles in the middle of the living room until around they're about 12 years old>should only have access to smartphones, tablets etc. when they're around 14~15 years old>parents should initially watch TV/Streaming together with them. Occasionally verify what they're watching. >set parental controls if needed.All that stuff is done in order to moderate and demotivate them from accessing something they shouldn't.Parents need to take an active role in raising their kids, showing interest in listening to them, playing, etc.
I’m 26 in the UK and I’ve never had a proper job before. At the moment I’m getting by by selling my stuff, but that obviously won’t last and I’m starting to worry about what I’m going to do long term if I don’t get into work soon.I didn’t do well in school and I’ve socially isolated myself since then. I also feel like my general knowledge, confidence, and life skills are very underdeveloped compared to most people my age.I applied for a basic job at Tesco recently and got rejected almost instantly, which knocked my confidence a bit and made me question whether I’m actually employable or if I’ve left things too late.I’m just trying to get a realistic idea of what my next steps should actually look like from here.Any advice or stories from people who’ve been through something similar would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
>>34587200>I applied for a basic job at Tesco recently and got rejected almost instantlyThe last time I was made redundant I applied to an entry level position at Tesco with ten years retail experience and 24/7 availability, and still didn't pass their goodgoy test.That questionnaire they make you do isn't so much a right/wrong answer thing, it's a very carefully worded psychological exam to determine how servile and spineless you will be in the face of management. The questions such as>Your colleague whom you are friends with tells you they're going to no-show tomorrow in order to attend a once-in-a-lifetime concert, what do you do?were dead giveaways.They deliberately only hire NPCs.Sounds like a meme, but I would unironically engage with the jobcenter. They can give you enough gibs that you won't have to keep liquidating your personal possessions, and they can help you skip the first step in the hiring stage with big employers like Tesco.They do legitimately help people who actually want to work.
>>34587200Strengthen your resume, present yourself confidently and positively, even when confidence takes conscious effort, and apply to multiple jobs consistently until you secure an offer.
I started bouldering a few months ago and see so many cuties there. How do I get in contact with them though? I am way too scared to approach them and develop a bad reputation at the gym as I want to continue to go there.Currently breaking into 6c+ territory.
>>34587182You can befriend people at any level provided you don't behave like a douche. Groups form organically based on how hard they climb. You'll probably have less interaction with beginners or more casual profiles because you end your warm up on what they struggle to finish but even then, nothing is set in stone. Aside from the cliques of dudes up their own ass and competing athletes with strict training, people generally don't give a toss about your level, though it's of course easier to chat when you work on the same route. I probably seldom climbed anything harder than a 7a and I'm a fucking sperg but that's what I noticed.
>>34587177>get to mess with a lousy one if you climb good enoughIs the dynamic in climbing the same as in the gym where if you want to date a gymgirl you have to be bigger and stronger than her by a big margin? Like if you are a climber then you only get a girl who climbs much worse than you?
>>34587173You don't meet them, they meet you. Don't fuck up your own individual sessions and overall progress by being distracted by that shit. Focus on your climbing.Don't disturb other people's sessions to satisfy your own pursuit of vaginal intercourse. If anyone is interested in you, they will pursue it. If you are open to being pursued yourself, there is nothing that will stop you and a member of the opposite sex from consummating your physical and romantic attraction to one another.
>>34587174>under hangsHello, gumby
>>34587173climb under them and sniff, then point to their vagina and say 'nice'.
I want a drunk driver to do a hit and run on me at night and then I lay there barely able to move in pain and then get into a hospital and stuff. Idk what is wrong with me desu.
>>34586898No
>>34587032Well there you go. Mystery solved.In all seriousness OP. It's an idealized scenario, it's not like you want to experience the pain of the hit and run and the emotional turmoil, you want someone to comfort you when you're feeling fucked up. It's like the whole "this is a nice spot to die/bleed out on". But instead of it being about heroism, bravery or purpose, you just want someone to treat you kindly.
>>34587042No but I'm actually serious about it. I want this and a girl where I can lay in her arms and fall asleep and stuff
>>34587054Well if you want to actually be in such a situation instead of having the scenario in your head then I'm sorry to say that's just stupidity, OP.Medical bills, risk of health concerns, pain, possibility of death... all so a girl will pamper you a bit? Moreover, not only are you stupid because the risk is clearly not worth the reward, you're even more stupid if you seriously believe this is the only way to get it.At this point just hire a hooker and tell her to cuddle with you and leave it at that. It'll be far cheaper and you save yourself the pain. Or try and get yourself out there and find a girlfriend or something. Cuddling is nice tho, I'll give you that, nothing like resting your head on a girl's chest or thighs.
>>34587153> medical bills will be highI live in a country where healthcare is free> you can dieI don't care> the painI don't care either
Not being able to control your emotions and finding yourself regressing is mainly what I go throughI am 24 everyone of my friends either graduated or has a jobNeither on both for me, cause I'm scared of my own shadow and I don't wanna do anythingJust overthink about problems and jerk offI think a good chunk of my mental disability comes from my fucked up childhood got beaten and always praised for doing what others wantedIdk how to get better fast enough to graduate or even have a fresh startI don't know what I am messing and why my relationships w others always get toxicI get tired from thinking which I probably contribute to having anxiety all the time or just pure retardion God forbid
I work a professional job, have masculine hobbies, pay rent, have my bachelors, and etc. However I still feel like an absolute manchild because I havent corresponded to or dated a girl in 8 years lol.
>>34586967What was the biggest issue for you that you spent most of your time ruminating on or at least you faced in general in those days?
>>34586878IRAQ LOBSTER
>>34586991How old are you of you don't mind me asking?And what kind of hobbies do you mean
>>3458705925. I play rugby and like lifting weights. I also like lit and guitar but I wouldnt call that masculine. However my taste has really not changed since I was 13 I still like Anime, sci-fi/fantasy,edgy stuff, and metal. Maybe im just a child at heart, id much rather watch Gundam than some shit like The Pitt or a football game.
I work at a factory, and when I look around, I see everyone having fun, bantering with everyone else, except me. Nobody makes a funny remark when they pass me, nobody throws a ball of paper at me when I'm turned around, nobody stops for chitchat.And when I try to do it, it always comes out annoying, awkward, or outright creepy.Am I too uptight? What can I do to appear more outgoing?I don't think I'm unlikable, because when people get to know me, they seem pretty relaxed around me. But even then, they don't involve me in the light banter.Any ideas?
>>34586743
it can take time to be part of the group. you say nobody stops for chitchat but try observing your behavior. when somebody walks by do you say hi to them or do you wait for them to say hi to you? if youre alone with someone do you start tallking to them or do you wait for them to talk to you? most people are afraid to make the first move so if two strangers are in a room together and nobody makes a move the opportunity to become friends is lost
19M so i live in austriaand we here got something called the matura (it's almost like the SAT, but it's a exam that's taken per class. iirc it's like the a-levels if you're from the uk)and i got most of them without issue but german is the one i have to do and i'm ass and have been ass for well... since i've been born here.and actually i have to redo it as i wasn't good in the actual exam so i have here a sort of a final exam to see if i actually understand it or not. and my god do i not know if i know anything at all.like it could just be suicidal thoughts and i've had those more than enough, but i really don't want to die. not cause it'll hurt or get me to hell, i don't care about that. it's my mom, she's basically the only reason i'm still alive now, not cause she helps me through this sort of stuff, no not at all. in fact she tried to "help" me by saying and i quote "just don't think like that and it'll be fine" WHAT how the FUCK is that meant to help me!?but she lost her mom about two years ago and that has really changed her and i don't want to hurt her in more ways.or... i could call the ambulance say i'm going to kill myself and give them my address and then chain myself to the bathtub that's filling up or something else. but something where i don't have to die but where i can finally get the help i need. as the only way to get a therapist here is to just get a huge ass list from the national insurance or whatever and guess what that list is. name, phone number, address, maybe a speciality or a website, nothing else. like my issue is that i can't make any decisions and now you expect me to make a decision on who to trust with my deepest most personal thoughts. like how could i know that the guy (or gal but idk) won't tell me "well you shouldn't be sad as you should awaken your white superiority" or whatever. not thinking that something like that could actually happen but i couldn't know.thanks
>>34585574I think you should call a suicide hotline and talk to them. You should also put yourself on that huge national insurance list so that you can talk to someone in 3 years (22 y/o you will thank current you for doing so)
>>34585574Bring dich nicht um Österreich-bro. Wir brauchen dich. Die Matura is so unwichtig
Redoing a class shouldn't be the end of your world
I learned how to treat friends from my friends who would roast me constantly. But when I did it to them or other college friends they would get offended.What gives?
>>34587025>What gives?You're autistic. You don't understand when you've gone too far.
>>34587025They have thinner skin than you do
>>34587025any examples?
>>34587025>What gives?Your mom.
I'm, as the title says, a 28 y/o man without an Adam's apple, and I've had a very hard life. I've never been respected for the things I say because no one respected my voice, and I had to shout and yell in high-pitched screams to get people's attention. I'm also a customer service representative, so I'm on the phone much of the day and am mistaken for a woman most of the time. I also feel this has cost me jobs I've applied for outside of this, because on phone and in-person interviews, people look down on me for my voice. Part of never getting taken seriously is developing a bad personality that turns me away so I have no irl friends. The people I talk to online are repulsed by my voice on voice chat and routinely mock me for it and refuse to engage in conversation. What do I do?
>>34585886[serious]start smoking and get a vocal coach
>>34585886Do you have some kind of hormonal problem? How did this happen anon? Explain your condition to us pls
>>34585886>>34586798This sounds like it would probably be the issue. You may have some kind of thyroid problem. Regardless if you do or not, get your testosterone levels tested. If they are low, which they very well might be, you will easily be able to get TRT. FTM trannies naturally lower their voices by getting on testosterone, so I don't see why it wouldn't work for you too.
>>34586940My test has varied but it’s typically in the normal range. Was on the lower side last it got tested but I gained a ton of weight after my mom stopped cooking lunch for me.
>>34586940Trt also causes hair loss and that’s the one thing I have going for me
I want to sell my houses in this but will miss this area.Stocks yield a better return and I don't want to deal with tenants anymore.What should I do?
>>34586942Death to AmericaAnd butter sauceDon't boil meI’m still aliveIraq Lobster
after the summer ends I'll be going into my senior year and I'm pretty scared. I rely on financial aid and a shitty on-campus job to live on my own but eventually it will end. I don't want to move back in with my family either. Should I apply to grad school?
Don't just go to grad school as a bandaid, especially if you're directionless like you sound to be. Nothing wrong with taking some time off and thinking about what you want to do
>>34579208look for a job now
after high school look for a shitty retail job so you can save up for a car and then figure it out from there
>>34579208What major? Did you take internships?
>>34579227I'm not directionless, I like what I do but I'm not sure how to do it outside of a class setting.>>34583745What kind of job?>>34585214I'm not in high school. Also I dont think a car would help anyway when gas prices are raping everyone.>>34585221User Experience Design. I had 2 internships but I dont know if they count as real experience because they were technically associated with the university I'm attending.
