What's some offbeat advice that has worked in the real world for you? Offbeat in the sense that the advice is highly effective but is unlikely going to be something a therapist or mainstream self-help author would mention in good taste.
>>32626144OP here. I'll add that one to my toolkit. I've been having some success with "Imagine them taking a shit."
>>32626051Just remember everyone else is a human being and has the same insecurities and stupidities as you.
>>32626302nta but Doesn't that just make it worse? They all have the same insecurities yet they seem to be able fit in
My mom's advice for dealing with home intruders:"Shoot them and drag them inside".
very interesting thread, have a bump
how do you say "Thanks for your purchase" in Polish? or something along those lines
>>32626011https://translate.google.com/
>>32626022 yea no shit, but i want good grammar
>>32626011/int/ might help you out more next time.Dziękujęmy za zakupy z (nazwa sklepu)=Thank you for shopping with (store name)
>>32626011"Thanks kurwa!"
Dziękuje za zamówienie
I plan to chance to night shift by the end of March, and already brought it up with the higher ups.So, any advice to handle the fact I'll have to sleep by day, and how to handle my diet (if eating at night time is even a factor)?>male, 23 years old>No GF>working in a private Richard schoolFeel free to tell me if I should chance jobs, I just don't want to deal with teenagers and the pay is good.
>>32622720t. Work 6pm-6am, thu-sat, with alt wedCoffee is honestly fine as long as you don't drink any within 4-5 hours of going to bed. Exercise during breaks to keep yourself awake and mobile as opposed to spending all your free time being sedentary.Your social life will be raw-dogged. Find hobbies during your free time that you can do without killing your sleep schedule and/or can be done quietly. I like to go bowling during evening specials and have a digital piano on order for teaching myself during the wee hours of the morning. I end my voip vidya hours on free nights at midnight or sooner so my neighbor isn't constantly hearing me shout "Nade!" or "Behind you, stupid motherfucker!" Sign up for a 24 hour access gym if you don't have access to a decent one already. Physical fitness is an important part of mental health. I like to go jogging/rowing for a half hour after shifts and will spend ~2 hours working out on free nights.Cook a large "breakfast" and pack your lunch. Saves you money and makes sure you have fruits and vegetables in your diet. I like to pack celery and peanut butter and have that with some greek yogurt during first break around 10pm as it is light but filling. Second break (~1:30am) is usually turkey sandwich and soup, sometimes with a banana or apple. I keep a box of instant oatmeal packets in my locker if I get super hungry at end of shift. Similar to regular diet, protein and fiber are king, sugar is trash.With breakfast before shift, take a multivitamin, zinc, magnesium, c and d supplement. C and d help counter the effects of not getting much sunlight and the damage that does on bone and joint health while the other three help with the overall poor burger diet, assuming you are a burger. Don't try to flip to day schedule during days off. It will fuck with your head. Keep a tracker on your phone so you are reminded when your work week starts so you can make sure to mealprep and get good sleep beforehand.
>>32624520>>32624912Thanks for the genuine advice. Not a burger, but my diet is somewhat similar to one, so I'll need the supplement.Also... would this be a turn off for girls/women? I would like to date, but I'm guessing this decreases my already low odds.
>>32625026Most likely, unless they are also nightshift nurses or something. As said earlier, your social life will be in the shitter.
>>32622720> and how to handle my diet (if eating at night time is even a factor)It is, you will have to meal prep. Sounds simple, and it is BUT if you miss your (small) window to grocery shop you will be eating fast food that night, and probably the next. Keep your fridge stocked
>>32625713>unless they are also nightshift nurses or somethingLe sigh... shit like that does make me miss working in a hospital.>but maybe there's hope on my four free days?>>32625755>Keep your fridge stockedGood thing it is always stocked then... by my mom.
How do you accept you're not going to have the dream relationship you want with a girl that involves her being what your mother wanted, your mother seeing your first kids, and just the sheer joy of a family dinner, due to you being an orphan? Just the sheer loneliness of no father or mother there for you with your relationship stings after my mother died and my father died 5 years before that.
>>32626338That's your reality. That's how it's gonna be. It sucks.Talking about how much is sucks doesn't change it. I'm sorry.Related, we're having a daughter, my dad would have been thrilled. But he's gone. And my mom sucks so Idgaf about telling her.So I'm here with you, but, my friend.. we just gotta live with the hand we've got. It's ok to mourn, but to dwell is the most useless thing you can possibly do.
>>32626338ukraine
>>32626785just go there and live your dream:)
>Have sex with girlfriend>Sometimes I cum way too fast and have to pull out>Other times I get tired and lose my bonerHow do I fix this?
>>32623854youve never had sex have you
>>32623793But biologically speaking, isnt a good think to cum fast? What evolutionary advantage give not being able to cum as fast as possibile?
another cock posthere is my fix, I last as long as I want: Kegels(weighted or not, up to you), and these vitamins:Vitamin D3 50kIUK2 MK-7 600mcg (500mcg is enough IMO)Magnesium glycinate 800-1200mgThis fixes both issues 1 and 2 respectively.
Jerk off twice and take a boner pill if you can't get it up I guarantee you 5 minutes and 10 minutes if you are already a 5 minute or less just do it in the shower with conditioner then surprise her fresh and ready for a entire night of sex also eat a banana with the boner pill from the gas station
Take both pills if in a two pack with banana didn't exercise don't use your legs or hips until your getting a hard on then call her over also maybe get aggressive half way cum n put it in you will feel like you came with no cum and you might lose interest drink some whiskey alcohol v and start again like have it ready in a shot and you will be limp but it will get hard again
Do I have any future making good money as a brand designer or art director? Spent the past 5 years working as a graphic designer and it’s starting to really grind me down. Nobody has any respect for the work you do and think you’re basically an IT guy that can do everything including web and UI design. Absolutely no respect for your limitations in the role and you’re always asked to do more than you’re paid for and if you ask for a raise it’s always a no. If I get to 30 still making $60k AUD I might just move to a cheap place and get on benefits and just NEET.
Hello fellow Aussie. What qualifies you for art direction or product design?
>>32625155A bachelors degree and 5+ years of experience as a designer. I’m $40k in uni debt and it’s only going up with inflation.
>>32625145You’re fucked
There's a really pretty girl I work with that has an awesome personality but she already has a bf. When does the pain go away?
>>32625976you should rape her, that will make the pain go away
>>32625976>>32626317this
>>32625976You had no chance anyway OP. You don't look good and your personality is terrible.Even if she was single, she's out of your league.
>>32625976If she likes you, she will introduce you to her single friends who are probably just like her except single. Chicks hang out with similar chicks much more than men hang out with similar men.
>>32626422She just says hi to me sometimes
I wasn't exclusive with anyone, I even told them I wouldn't want to be until a month in, but when a girl found out I was talking to and had sex with another she called me player and insulted me in all sorts of ways. I don't want to put all of my eggs in one basket and as a result, come off desperate.Am I wrong?
bad bait, no replies for this please.
How do you appreciate that atleast you're not a starving african? I hate my life but it could've been much worse, so I shouldn't be depressed I think?
appreciate for who? those african kids?just be thankful“it could be worse” is a retarded rhetoric anyway
new to the site and i dont know what to do also a bongo is it true if u shoot urself with a handgun or shotgun to the head at point blank you just die or can u survive that sounds painful if u can. there is no way u surviving a shotgun right. ?
IDK I GUESS JUST GUYS BEING DUDES
>>32626650well pointed a shotgun to the head is instantaneous and usually explodes your headgo for it but do it in a forest or something don't let your mess ruin someone elses's day.
This is /adv/ it is not reddit. This place is for ADVICE questions only. That is where there is a specific problem you are personally experiencing and which you describe it whilst asking for specific advice. You should not post here until you understand how this site works. Lurk until you do.
Most people survive gun shots as a generality
lol u cant get shotguns so easily in bongo land my guy, just a thought. might be goign to the usa in my lifetime so maybe ltr
Asking this because where I live no young people are going out. Sadly, it's just a sports ball touristy college city. Just drunk old men and women going out and tourists.Can anyone confirm their success or lack of? That or maybe some other alternative.
>>32625947Thanks? Socializing lets me meet new people, but the friends I have made are working now like me. We live 1-2 hours apart, and seldom do we meet
>>32625964I would say try doing stuff irl, board games, foreign language classes, bouldering. That kinda of stuff
>>32626582>Board gameswhat does this even mean?>boulderingdid that in UNI, discolated my knee doing it. + I am too big now, I'm more brawn than scrawn.>foreign languageswhy? I don't like immigrants and do not plan to visit where they come from.
>>32626605>what does this even mean?It means playing board games? Are you retarded?
>>32626647>playing board gameswhat am I fucking 12? Do you want me to make friends with kids? oh wait I am on 4chan, of course
So to set the stage: I work for my dad. He owns a medium-sized company. I don't hold any upper-management position in the company but I do supervise a small sector, meaning I have 2 people reporting to me, but I also report to other people. That being said, everyone knows who I am and I can see that they treat me differently.Now, i've had a thing for this girl who also works at the company. We don't talk much since she works in a different sector. I've been meaning to ask her out but I'm afraid she'll feel pressured to say yes because my dad owns the company, probably fearing some reprisal if she rejects me. Should I ask her out anyway, as in better regret having done it, than regretting having not done it? And if yes, how would I even go about it in a manner that doesn't make her feel pressured to say either yes or no?
Be me M25 Filipino, friends with this guy M28 White we have been friends for 10 years. recently he confides in me that his digestive track is clogged and needs assistance , He knows I use bidets so he asked me for advice so I recommended an enema. He had me set it up for him. I had the door locked in the bathroom and I beat my load in to his enema bag and left it in the restroom. I told him to get low on his knees to maximize the effects of gravity and atmospheric pressure and open the valve until it empties out into him, so he did. I was on the couch of his living room hearing him slush the water out and not notice my cum in the stool. he did a few rounds when I went back in the bag was empty and I rubbed the tip on my tip/head it was so hot but I don't know how he would react if I told him Should I break it to him or should it just be my dirty little secret this really has the capacity to turn on me and ruin my reputation and friendship.
>>32624445lmao
So I got on the phone and told him, >>"So remember that enema?">>"yes what about it?">>"I prepared it alright, with my protein and not the powder">>"oh wow why did you do that?">> "because you've been hinting your availability, making me crash into your rear end during walks making me setup your enema bag for you so I inseminated you! ">> "Thats pretty hot, can you come over to night">> "Sure ;)"
>>32626594fuck off
are your cameos half off until valentine's day
>>32624193why would you do thatI didn't notice I was doing this cringe reaction face ever since the middle part came up all the way to the end of the storythis is why you don't trust guys even as a guy, there was another incel asking the other day if girls are less trustworthy than guysand the answer is no, never, a girl would never do that shit to you, guys?who knowsa friend farted in my face "as a joke" when we were teens and would laugh it offand then he got arrested doing the same to her female neighbor he was stalking for years recently
I need a fairly painless way to die with little risk of staying alive and suffering severe brain and nerve damage. Preferably quick, but it doesn't need to be as long as no one (my coworkers and roomate) notice. Got my license revoked so I can only use what I have at home or work. Even better if I can make it look like I was just being stupid and accidentally died. No I don't have access to a gun... already tried refeeding syndrome, and caffeine
>>32622941You do know that nobody who advises you has actually done it themselves, don't you?
>>32622941Why do you want to die ?
>>32622941My method was stabbing myself in the heart, then sending a delayed message to EMS to take care of my body3 seconds until unconsciousness, supposedly. Make sure to pull the knife out and not just leave it in or there's a chance of survival, supposedly
>>32623229Typically there's some "don't do it!" faggots with an inspirational quote and more saying you're looking for attention
>>32625716I've killed myself 12 timesI'm trying to kill myself 26 by 2026 to make it one suicide per year after that and it looks nice and easy to count
Should I pay a prostitute if I'm 31 years old and a virgin?
>>32621904no, that'd be gross.
>>32621904>Should I pay a prostitute if I'm 31 years old and a virgin?If you want to, sure. Banging hookers is great fun. It's also expensive and doesn't last very long. But it's important to understand that, two days later, you will feel 100% identical to the way you feel now. If you're expecting it to be some kind of transformative experience, it won't be. It's just short-lived, expensive fun, and absolutely nothing else.
>>32621904Do you just want to have sex? If so, a prostitute is a fine solution to that problem.
>>32621904You could but it's not going to solve any of your problems.
>>32621904Depends on why you're considering having sex with a prostitute. If you just wanna know what sex on it's own feels like this sure go nuts. Prostitutes are at least okay to know what it feels like to be inside a pussy.Just bear in mind it's not gonna compare to having sex with someone who actually likes you and the prostitute is most likely just gonna focus on finishing you off fast and kicking you to the curb, you have to be mentally prepared for that reality.If you think it's gonna be a life changing experience than DON'T DO IT because you're gonna hate yourseslf and feel mad at yourself that you wasted money on just a emotionless experience and it's gonna make you apathetic about sex overall because of a crappy paid experience with it.Again just understand the prostitutes are not having sex with YOU they're having sex with you because you're paying them, they don't care about you, you're just another loser who had to resort to directly paying for it because you don't have a woman who likes you enough to want to have sex with YOU.
