>be me>25>extreme anxiety since middle school>nothing worked for 10 years, even meditation, exercising...>no money for therapy and i think it's a scam anyway>found xanax/benzos + kratom>they helped me tremendous with anxiety, general tiredness due to overthinking>4 years now and nothing has aided me more than benzos and kratom>people all over the world saying it's the worst addiction ever, worse than heroin...etc>literally life saver for me, never had to up the dosage, just makes me feel like a normal human being>social butterfly on benzos, relaxed on kratomam i doing it right by self medicating?
>>34331043Forgot to mention, also Holy Basil (Rama) works good.
>>34331037>Did you guzzle a handle of vodka every day, or how did you drop your IQ low enough to make such retarded statements? Your brain does need time to regenerate having all kinds of receptors firing on max after doing it, but occasional MDMA is not a problem at all. Continued use can do some damage, but not as long as you only do it as an occasional party drugYou're a retarded idiot who drank the koolaid
>>34330671You're lucky the benzos are working for you. They worked for me great for 5 years, but eventually I developed an addiction and was taking up to 6mg of xanax/day. I had my wakeup call last week. I don't know what my solution is going to be, but it's back to social anxiety for now at least. Please be careful you don't get addicted. Although, I was mixing them with alcohol to intentionally induce amnesia so I could forget my shitty life.
>>34330671I've never done stuff like that but I've suffered with anxiety too for a long time as well. It's made me an old neet. :(
>>34330794>Medical studentpls do tell how fast exit the serotonin syndrome, ty
This may seem incredibly retarded but my plan is to move to England this September.The only problem is that I don't really know anyone over there (I do have family over there but it's complicated) So I want to know how I could make some friends from there before I move. I have never been the best at making friends and don't really know where to look either. And I should state, I do hold a British passport so I don't need to worry about visa's or all of that.Also I know "it's so bad over here,etc", yeah it's just as bad over here and to be honest I don't really care, I just want to finally move out and grow up.
>>34334728Go on /soc/ UK thread
>>34334805Didn't think about that. Thanks.
>>34334728Are you like a South Asian or an Arab? Just go on like Tagmap, there are too many people from the UK online.
>>34335229No, I'm white. Anyway thanks for the suggestion
hey, if you could share some intersting ideas on things to do in my free time i'd appreciate it a loteven if it's just stuff to read about, there is so much information out there that i don't know what and where to look for
>>34325048Chubby ChasingCompetitive Eating and Drinking
>>34325048read the memory book by harry lorayne
>>34327069Was quite interested in sewing my own fumo, I hope it's possible without a machine>>34325048Language learning, use Anki! Get into Touhou, get into reading about some weird political ideology, get into reading up on entomology or ichtyology, get into patches, so much to do but with so little funds sadly.
>>34326647Pick up an instrument and you can check all four boxes at once
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.I (M21) recently caught a notification on my GF's (F21) phone from a guy friend of hers. It was a response to a provocative "thirst trap" she posted (pole dancing/showing off her figure). We had a clear, established boundary about her not posting that kind of stuff for male attention, which she agreed to.The guy’s message said: "Dumbo’s gonna be pissed."When I confronted her, she admitted "Dumbo" is her nickname for me. She tried to claim it’s because of my ears (they aren't big), but the context makes it clear: it’s a nickname they use to mock me for having boundaries. She knew I’d be "pissed" because she was intentionally breaking our agreement and laughing about it with another dude behind my back.The kicker:When I asked how she’d feel if I had a secret insulting nickname for her that I used with my female friends, she completely dodged the question. She started throwing out "gender ideology" and her "pansexual identity" as a reason why my comparison didn't work. It felt like total word salad used specifically to avoid taking responsibility for being disrespectful.I feel like I’m being gaslit and mocked in my own relationship.Have any of you dealt with a partner who uses a "secret" nickname for you with the "guy friend" she tells you not to worry about?Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34310171>Throwaway account for obvious reasons.COPY PASTING REDDIT POSTS TO /ADV/?USELESS MOD TEAM!??!?!IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK
>>34310171If you do snoop through her phone like other people are suggesting, DON'T confront her about it or even let her find out that you looked through her phone without permission. That shit is illegal, I know because I got arrested for doing exactly that when I was in a similar situation with a BPD bitch. In the UK, it falls under the Computer Misuse Act 1990 - accessing a computer device that you do not have permission to access. I don't know about the US or wherever it is that you live, but it's worth being really careful and checking up on the law. If you must look, then do it only for your peace of mind, not to blow up and confront her about it. She sounds like she's fucking using you, bro, and you should leave her and forget about her. You're only 21, you're still young and have so much life ahead of you, trust me, you will find someone else, someone you'll love and who will love you back. Good luck, man.
>>34310259>>34310261>>34310296anything sheh could say to fix things or make you thinnnk shes tryna repair?
>>34310171>How do you handle a GFwhy have you not beaten this bitch's cunt ass by now?drop her this instant you shit head
Bumping need advice if you would ever forgive
Sex, romance, money, status, none of this motivates me to participate in society and put in the work the earn them. Anyone else feels like this?
>>34334743Depressed or Schizoid personality style(or disorder)
>>34334994What do?
>>34334994>Depressed or Schizoid personality style(or disorder)aka, "being a faggot"
>>34335037If you're happy with how you are, then nothing. If not, challenging therapy. Ask yourself how you want to live your life.
Lmao this threadAnyway ye those are not meant to be the ends, those are all means to something else
I think there’s something wrong with me, so my mom raised me as a feminist and tells me why feminism is important, etc. but the honest truth is idrgaf about it. Like if other women want to be feminists idrc and I kinda like misogynistic men(?) like I think it’s weirdly attractive when a guy says something misogynistic/rapey towards me. It makes me feel guilty tho bc my mom grew up in a male dominated culture/country and I feel like I’m wasting her effort she put into raising me better than her. Do other girls feel like this? Am I the only one? Is this just a weird kink thing or am i genuinely fucked up for this?
>>34332959It's normal. You like getting the attention. Like many girls.
>>34334657I'd do that.
>>34332959You're a woman. What women do is they always do the opposite of what they're familiar with. You are overly familiar with feminism and all that shit. So you want to go the opposite and are attracted to the opposite. Misogynistic men now feel taboo and off limits to you thanks to your mom brow beating you into feminism ideology. And women love, fucking LOVE anything that's taboo and off limits. They crave it hard, very hard. It's why Eve bit the apple in the Garden of Eden. She was explicitly told by God "No, you cannot have this. It will ruin you." And immediately she went for it anyway. Anyway what your mom calls "misogynistic" probably isn't even actual hatred of women. Your mom probably thinks any man who holds women accountable and refuses to be pussy whipped is somehow a woman hater.
Nice bait but you’ll still never ever be a real woman.
>>34332959The fixation on labels is weird. Just believe what you believe and live how you want and what group you belong to is irrelevant.
Did anyone else who went through the same shit had a momentary epiphany of "shit, I have been stuck online for a good chunk of my life and that there is a whole world out there that lies outside the internet?"I still have plenty of friends online that are very close, and the situation is still heated and it will probably be resolved when people cool off and think about what happen but it hurts to know that there is a chance I might not talk to these people I've known for almost 9 years anymore. I am now just sitting here reflecting on the fact that apart from family and the few irl friends I have made sense getting out of HS and moving across country, my social life has been almost exclusively on discord and I am left wondering if I should change thatI tried making irl friends when I left for college but it almost every time I did, I felt "what am I doing here?" and thought I would rather be at home talking to my online friends. It's gotten to the point where I am not even sure if I, as a person, am more sad at my lack of irl friends or if society is just telling me I need friends and I feel flawed because of thatI won't get into the details or what happened with the friend group. That's not why I am here
Tldr. It's not just one world, it's billions, until you go back to the one world again
do i find them at uni? do i have to be alt or just a normal dude? i know alt girls seem to obviously like alt dudes but also "weezer" and "Scott pilgrim-ish" kind of dudes too. i like skinny shy and quiet women so much, the kind to seem to hate me until i make them laugh.
>>34332281You first must not be gay.
Exactly my type aswell OP.Most of these girls tend to be studying humanities and be pretty neurotic. You have to approach them first as they are very shy.
I swear to God none of you niggers FUCKING READBella is literally so retarded that she has superpowers of “head empty”, why the fuck would you ever want a do nothing woman like that?
>>34334001I do read but actual literature instead of genre fiction SLOP like Twilight.
You have to look like Robert Pattinson
i need to know how to better accept the fact that i am a horrible person.21, still living at home with parents and stacking bread but i have always been a bitter, selfish, back of the class kid who nobody fucked with. insane anger issues, broken tv's, walls, etc since i was a child and i'm honestly still the same. since graduating high school i have destroyed multiple friend groups:had to cut off a friend i met at college because he got too clingy and dependent due to his romantic feelings towards me, thus entire liberal friend group exiled me as wellfor five years i have been on and off with a girl who my family and friends hate and vice versa, from doxxing her to breaking a necklace out of anger, needless to say we dont talk anymore.three of my other closest friends have distanced themselves from me, they dont want to associate with someone who does not respect themselves and continually goes back to a toxic relationship despite me claiming "this is the last time"angry outbursts in public, i am a racist, have questionable views on women, ex gf's family never liked me from the start, most likely could sense that i was a fucking sociopath from the start, just from my vibe and everything they say about me is true. (i tell people what they want to hear, i am a coward, i am all talk and a genuine pussy)home life is perfect, parents loving, and always speak the truth to me and have given me mostly everything, so it's not like i come from a broken home or anything, i am just born this way.is change even possible? it's gotten to the point now where i cannot go into public without wanting to hide in a bathroom or immediately leave due to the immense shame and guilt and self hatred i feel towards myself.
>>34333561Alright. Then if that's the case, drop the P in ASPD. Check for ASD, autistic spectrum disorder. Same premise: Neurology is fried, nervous system highly prone to overwhelm. It's known as "Autistic rage". They blow up, especially in social interactions that go awry. Unlike psychopaths, they possess empathy, extreme intensified amounts of it. Which means after each blow up or 'melt down', they feel intensely self hating and intensely guilty to the point of catastrophic thinking. Suicidal ideation being common.
>>34333586i was anal retentive as a child, so i am no doubt somewhere on the autistic spectrum. i get so mad when i feel helpless or out of control, or something is out of my control. the reason i doxxed my gf is because she began to ignore me out of the blue one day, i felt like i had no control.i rarely feel that level of anger, if any anger at all when someone insults me, takes advantage of me, etc.it always has to do with a perceived loss of control of a situation or thing. people around me don't seem to realize that though. i think my friends or the ones i used to have, think i am a socio or psychopath that is bound to injure or kill someone one day. it creates this fulfilling prophecy in my head that maybe i am like that, maybe it's not autism and there is something malicious that others are able to see in me that i lack the introspection to.
>>34333687Nah I think it's most likely the autism. >maybe i am like that, maybe it's not autism and there is something malicious that others are able to see in me that i lack the introspection to.That's a typical autistic roadblock for example. The inability to see or truly examine a deeper sense of 'self'. Autists have a very low sense of self, they have very rich internal monologues and inner imaginations and inner thoughts. But when they are tasked to accurately examine and measure their 'self' as a personality, they go like:"......" in their head.They have no clue who they are. They only know what they are and how other people seem to be responding to them. And the Autist will graft a temporary sense of self off of how others respond to them.So if an autist for example were to be around people who constantly told him he is rude, arrogant, combative, etc. then that is exactly what the autist will believe he is. The autist internalizes it and it becomes a feedback loop in his mind until eventually his actions start to reflect it. In the contrary if you take an autist and place him with people who give him encouraging and positive feedback, the autist becomes the embodiment of that too. Autists are emotionally adaptive like that, even if they struggle to process these emotions or struggle to accurately identify emotions in others, they have a very fascinating way of internalizing shit and blending in and adapting. It's a weakness and a strength. It can be a weakness if they are adapting to a bad environment or dynamic. Because they will let that define their internal state of affairs. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34334616 makes a lot of sense. hard to gauge when someone has got an accurate read on you, though.the people calling me a weird faggot? yeah there's definitely some truth there. People have told me i'm malicious, sick, or psycho one or the other, and i have an easier time rolling my eyes at that.i have been to therapy on and off, and also analyze myself and my demons quite avidly. i know i'm self aware enough to know i am autistic, but still autistic enough to not resist the urge.
>>34334890I think you should get a formal diagnosis if you haven't already. It won't change anything in your intensity of emotions, and it won't magically correct any behavioural problems you keep experiencing (that will take time later). What it will do is alleviate the self-hate and the self blame. It won't absolve you responsibility, but it will sure as shit give you understanding, that it's not (you) as a person that's bad on a personal level. It's just you are a person who has to deal with bad thoughts and bad feelings that flare up. This can make a huge difference in your perspective as you push forward mate.It'll also lessen anger outbursts a bit too. Because anger & shame are a crazy duo. We get angry as humans, and then we feel shame. And because we feel shame, we get angry. It's a vicious loop. By understanding more about what makes you tick, you can lessen some of the shame. And when you lessen some of the shame, it lessens the anger.
How come boomers don't have to grow out of deep purple, journey, grateful dead, guns and roses, etc. but im supposed to abandon all metal, rock and hiphop the second I enter my mid 20s?
>>34331838Maybe they went through this too
>>34331838Kids are brainwashed by advertising and obsessed with larping as unique individuals. Old bald fat guys used to be cool. You faggots were born old, bald and fat. Jus be yourself.
blahabalhaablaaabnlah you suck cheeks learn how to speak AMERICAN you left liberal
>>34331997The advice board
>>34331838Take your meds
I can't work in real life due to local laws (student visa) but I can get money online (not Paypal - Payoneer). As far as I know, I can get paid from Amazon KDP, YouTube, and Udemy. But I have no skills and no idea what to do to get paid. I am 26 years old, still a uni student (I know, I had a shitty upbringing) and I've got 2 years left to graduate.My inability to make any money is making me hyperdepressed. I don't respect myself.I am also getting old - my reflexes are getting slow and I am all-around miserable.What skill or niche is there that I can invest in and make money from?
>>34334297Bodycam videos seem to do okay. You don't even need to narrate or anything, as long as you can source some videos that are worth watching.
>>34334297>>34334713Indians run absolute slop farms that somehow get views.They run bodycam & interrogation room videos but you have to go out of your way to 1. Acquire the footage yourself, ideally unseen footage.2. Mute or bleep out roughly one third of all of the English language. If you were to just read words out of a dictionary for a video, you would be demonetized before you were barely started with words that start with A.3. Blur, pixelize, or black screen or otherwise censor any blood, fist fights, shootings, people throwing bricks at windows and whatever else Youtube will decide tomorrow is now 18+ and/or grounds for being demonetized.4. Not having forbidden words in the title and thumbnail, so it ends up censored to hell looking like >A K*ller Went On A Sh**ting Spree After Police Found Dr*gs In His Caror you go with the coded language route like>A PDF File Was Unalived After He Tried to Grape And Pewpew A Person Who Is Not An AdultEven gaming videos are being sent to the 18+ only demonetizaed shadow realm of Youtube, seemingly at random.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34334297>How to make money on YouTube?mukbangi'll buy you a BIG ARCH
Here's a pure translation of a text exchange between me and my 6 years gf :Her: Which vacuum did your parents buy? My dad is looking for one.>Me: I have no idea. (I was at work)Her: Yeah great Anon, I figured you had no idea...>Me: ha, you want me to ask them ?Her: No kidding.>Me: eh oh. (In frog it means "calm down, but softer)Her: I mean, if you don't know, yes I want you to ask?Her: Come on.Her: I ask you something and you just tell me you don't know, like seriously make an effort.>Me: But why are you being so aggressive, it's crazy.Her: I’m not being aggressive, I just think you're taking the piss.Her: Like if you asked me what model of window cleaner my parents have, I'm not going to answer "I don't know."Her: I'm going to go ask them.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34330624It's hard to tell I've been living in fear of saying something wrong for a long time now, again I'm not saying I don't do/ say retarded stuff, but I've never started any arguments or anything over the course of our relationship, on the other hand every 3 weeks she complains about me and find a reason to argue. >>34330178Nah man I just want to know if this is normal, I kinda hoped that having a relationship would be fulfilling and nice
>>34329969It was clearly a type of shit test. OP, you should've been firmer and asserted yourself. Something like"I already told you I don't know so shut up or ask them yourself."
>>34329954Nah, you’re a piece of shit. Everyone who uses phrases like “I don’t know” are lazy garbage without enough respect for themselves to have any for others.
>>34331629She's testing boundaries, especially if you never called her out on her bs.>I kinda hoped that having a relationship would be fulfilling and niceit could be if you know your and her place in it. As it stands now you're her bitch and she's bored slapping you around.
>>34334362Ok but I don't know, like literally no idea. I'm just assuming the question isn't important and can wait for when I call my parents >>34330626Possible, j'ai du google cette expression c'est la première fois de ma vie que je la rencontre
I’ve been thinking for a while that I am retarded. I probably I’m not, although I do feel that way. I'd like to change that.Dad’s been nothing but a nagging peanut. I wish I could reduce him to the size of one.He succeeded in making me cry but I mean I cry at the slightest shi so that isn’t much of an achievement.I have a lot of work piling on my neck and might as well slit it.I’ve gotten my draft already sent it through gmail to my system (I just wanted to do so) I keep on forgetting how actually wide my laptop screen is (holy ahh asus; I want an asus laptop I don’t have one mine is SHITTY; it’s just old the macbook neo release’s got my head spiraling)End of diary-ahh log.Btw the sulphuric acid shi is a joke I just wanted to sound a bit like Sam Pink.
Most dads are faggots dw about their dumb old gay opinions. I always had my suspicions but I knew when I found dildoes in mines closet. Look around and see if you find yours
>>34334412Definetly taking your advice for a run. I also started about my work why's writing so friggin stressful. Also to whoever comes across this I'd would like you to read this uncompleted pretty short story thing I have going on.https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTpmgVxElvMMYI-QMYpLiDmU-pqKA1TzXC-SKdxdVXqSDzL9ShgCUmHvAqdOuef0FsUBnwNJsp63-Bj/pub
>>34334560It's cringe but mainly because there's no context. You're overly describing a cringe process that you haven't explained the purpose or context of. Why is kelper doing all this weird shit? Is he trying to summon a fog woman or is he tripping on some drug? If he's summoning a fog woman then you need to make it more grim and serious. If he's tripping on some drug then you need to give us the empathetic trigger for him wanting to get blasted.
i cant seem to have a "win"none of you will help but at least i get some spike of dopamine when i post and talk
>>34331943I like anon posting it's fun
>>34332626>Just work harder!Spotted the pig.
>>34332882I'm the salmon that swims up stream.(You) are the pig that wallows in your own shit in misery. Good luck>Ignores point of post >>>34332626>Being miserable in 2026 is an omission of lack of conviction> I believe we're living during the age of abundance>>34332882The post made you mad for essentially calling out that there's no excuse for your misery especially if you live in the 1st world
To every nigger who sees someone struggling and just says “do better” it’s not that simple faggI honestly dont even know how or why people get better I know this kind of existential talk isnt any more useful than actually putting in the work, but stillI doubt most of you have ever been a truly miserable loser with absolutely nothing going for you. And even the ones who had everything didn’t suddenly change their lives overnight.People rarely change in any drastic way. Most of the time they stay exactly who they are.The good kid stays the good kid. The bullied one keeps getting bullied. The people who get cheated on keep ending up in the same situations.This romantic idea that someone can completely transform their life like it’s some kind of magic pill or heroic story just isn’t real.Winners tend to keep living like winners, and losers often end up dying like losers.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34332626My cortisol turns into self hatred in the mornings
Hi brosI think Im in an autistic shutdown. Sperg to sperg, what do you do about it? Mine has been most likely triggered by best friend who acted like a clingy gf, loads of social interaction and loads of work. I still have social stuff to do this weekend for three days and the weekend after. Give me autism advice bros, I legit had to communicate at McDonalds with handwritten notes because of how bad it got. I’m going full non verbal retard Cant afford to be full retard for long, too many big guy responsibilities
>>34331819>what do you do about itIn the short term:You can try reducing all sensory input for a while (audio, visual) and relax/comfort myself as much as possible. I'd put some audio on like the following, and then lay in bed with an eye mask all day. Also consider looking up hemi-sync audios (they can be relaxing, minus the weird astral projection stuff). If you have any specific things you enjoy, that relax you, I'd recommend indulging in them.>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=empLZMVWIP8>https://soundcloud.com/barlowtj/transformed-op-1In the long term:Think of this mental stress just like physical stress. You can run a marathon, but if you try to keep running another marathon every day or even just every month, it'll kill you. On the other hand, with proper sleep and diet, it's possible to run a few miles everyday, and still have enough energy for daily life. You need to have an appropriate amount of recovery to compensate/balance your stress.
>>34331819Sounds like she is jerking your around and that's where the stress anxiety is
>>34333285Omg thanks anon, the audios are legitimately based. It changes from asmr that was okay-ish but the noise was still too high. I owe you my life And I agree on the output. I went full unmasked non verbal today. Notes on the phone and ASL to people outside. Everyone was oddly chill about it. It kinda killed my bullied kid idea that autism unmasked gets you hunted in the hall. >made me happy ngl But ur right, lowering vocal and listening output helps. Rock back and forth helps. People not giving a shit absolutely help. Thanks for the big reply fren>>34334428Unless hes a fag, which he isnt considering he has a gf, then ur right. But the full story is that hes going thru a rough patch lately and has an anxious attachment. I set boundaries tho, said I needed some air cause my battery is too low. He was really chill about it. Based fren
>>34334718Yeah, communication helps. Feel better.
>>34334718>Thanks for the big reply freno7. Here's another favorite of mine for the road: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXb4hjgp8B4The genre "downtempo" has been very enjoyable for me.
