[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

08/21/20New boards added: /vrpg/, /vmg/, /vst/ and /vm/
05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
[Hide] [Show All]


[Advertise on 4chan]

[Catalog] [Archive]

What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m 26 but I feel like I’m 80 most days. I can sleep for 10-12 but after 2 hours I feel like I need to go back to sleep again. Days are wasted just being tired and don’t want to do anything. I used to love drawing and making music but both of those feel like massive obligations and just frustrate me to no end. I have to draw a bunch of stuff for uni but I just cannot find the energy to draw one line. I’ll show up tomorrow having done nothing. I looked back today and realised the last time I completed a drawing was October 2022. A year and a half has just gone by having done nothing but work and study.

Only thing I have enough energy for is work and even that takes 2 coffees for me to get anything done. I have a studio in east village but this place is full of pissed off old people and I think I hate it. I hate most people nowadays. They all have their own circles and I’m either too young or too old or too weird everywhere I fucking go. Most people are just these fucking obnoxious meat bags that ducking get in my way now. I’m pretty sure I have ED too now despite my T levels beign above average. No doctor has any fucking clue either. I’m tired every fucking day and night but falling asleep is a real challenge and I never stay asleep, heart is always beating out of my chest all night.

I’m starting to think if things don’t get better I might just call it quits and find a relatively painless way to kms. Drowning might be a good way to go.
Im going caffeine free for a while, that’s the last thing I have left to do to figure out what’s wrong, then it’s over.
>>
>>31100909
WHATEVER your problem is, it has at least two levels - the underlying issue (which could be physical) and the overlay of anxiety about it. A first step would be to separate them. With help (therapy? meds?) reduce the anxiety, which may be masking or confusing the underlying symptoms, to let doctors get a clearer view of what's underneath.
>>
>>31100927
Sounds purely psychological that’s spread to the physical. OP has pretty severe untreated depression

File: file.png (507 KB, 600x378)
507 KB
507 KB PNG
i'm a europoor faggot and want to move to the united states. is "naturalization through military service", ie. green card by joining the military, a good idea?
>>
>>31100823
Are you retarded?
>>
>>31100823
Yes
>>
>>31100830
which branch and other specifics which i can say in would you recommend?
>>
where from europe? different countries have different advantages depending on country relations to the u.s (for example someone from germany will have more advantage than say someone from greece) when proceeding an application

How do you go on when nothing gives you satisfaction and you're starting to lose hope things will get better?

I talked myself out of suicide by telling myself this is my only shot at the human experience and I'll get eternal painlessness when I die anyways, but every day is such a challenge.
4 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31100762
what does that even mean? that's not an answer . Besides if somebody has to die it's better he dies when he is a little kid thet doesnt understand stuff and will suffer less
>>
>>31100754
>>There are things worth living for regardless of satisfaction.
>elaborate
Elaborate on what you mean by "satisfaction" first

(obv NTA)
>>
>>31100693
>How do you go on when nothing gives you satisfaction and you're starting to lose hope things will get better?
You just keep going. That's literally all you do. There is no special trick, you just do it even if you don't want to. One foot in front of the other, that type of shit.
>>
>>31100868
Better kill myself
>>
>>31100885
No. You better keep going. Been where you are now. They say your life is your life, but that's not completely true. You are beholden to others. Your family, your friends. I still relapse all the fucking time, but you have to keep going. The other option is not yours to take.

File: 1713657774852261.jpg (41 KB, 669x675)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
I'm so fucking sick of having nothing to do after work except go home and play video games or get on the internet and having nobody to hang out with after work. I've tried shit like bars, but it's either all old boomers or everyone already has their own little "group" and won't talk to anyone they don't already know.

What the fuck does the average normalfag in their 20s do these days if they're not at bars after work anymore? Where do they hang out at? Because I'm not seeing them anywhere. I want to get out and do fun shit, but first I need to build a social circle.
33 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31100427
My life doesn't fucking matter if I'm the only person who remembers it. I can't go anywhere or do anything because nobody but me will remember it.

And I can't go anywhere even if I wanted to because I'm constantly exhausted and in pain.
>>
>>31100438
Please tell me the favorite color of your grandfather five generations ago. Come on. Do it. He wasn't alone, right? So he wasn't forgotten, right?
>>
>>31100445
He was dead long before I was born, I can't "remember" a person I've never even met.
>>
>>31100453
Oh. That's a shame.

Fortunately this won't happen to you. Everyone will remember you forever. Everything you do matters to everyone else. You just need to make a child and you're set.

Right?
>>
File: 564562345457.jpg (42 KB, 895x503)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
How does this stuff still bamboozle people? I really want to help you guys, but sometimes it seems like you're totally fucking beyond it.

File: IMG_6573.jpg (8 KB, 250x245)
8 KB
8 KB JPG
I can’t stand other men. I feel like punching every dude around me in the face, especially if they look at me. I don’t want other men near me. I don’t want to compete with other men. I can’t stand all these fucking manfaggots everywhere.

I don’t want to cooperate with other men. I don’t want to interact with other men…
24 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31094842
You are literally mentally ill.
>>
File: 8967878.png (634 KB, 1080x1200)
634 KB
634 KB PNG
>>31094842
I cant stand women, i feel like punching every fucking woman around me in the fucking face, especially if they look at me. i dont want women near me. i want to compete and crush women self steem. i cant stand all these fucking e-cheating whores gold diggers everywhere

i WONT cooperate with women, i dont want to and i NEVER WILL interact with women
>>
>>31095274
I'm male and hate most other men too. Completely agree with the phrase "toxic masculinity." Most of them are humorless closet gays.
>>
Everyone who hates the different sex is an idiot. It's what the juice want to control us
>>
>>31094842
>I feel like punching every dude around me in the face
But you don't. Nobody cares about your shitty hangups.

File: 1703065215578064.png (657 KB, 1199x1272)
657 KB
657 KB PNG
What race am I? My ancestors were Italian, Greek, German, English and Scottish. I don't belong anywhere and these regions were always opposed to each other religiously and culturally. I've already been bullied off multiple sites for being pale yellow
20 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31092742
You are a Mediterranean, Germanic Celt.
Making you the first generation of true European.
>>
I'm in a similar situation where my ancestors are from all over Europe. I just say Slovak because that's where my last name is from
>>
>>31092742
You are a true House of Atreus nigga
>>
OP. This is very pertinent to the issue:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntxKRj9DRnc
>>
>>31092742
You're either a White American or a White European depending on which continent you live on. There are no real national cultures today so you'll be fine wherever, so long as you speak the language well and have a charismatic personality.

File: errsrserrse.jpg (243 KB, 1042x1563)
243 KB
243 KB JPG
Is it common to be obsessed with people like your ex-friends and resist the urge to contact them after they blocked you? I was told not stalking people should be something that comes naturally, but for me, it doesn't. I can distance myself for a month or more, and then a switch is triggered in my brain that makes my intrusive thoughts win and makes me go up to them via social media, even if I end up erasing my messages before they're read. I'm doing better this time, but I still have room to improve.
>>
>>31100680
>Is it common to be obsessed with people like your ex-friends

sometimes i think about them
> and resist the urge to contact them after they blocked you
sorry I dont use social media and I invite you not to, unless you have stuff to sell or you are a politician.


My childhood best friend who didn't want to go out with me apparently because I wasnt cool enough, after like 10+ years called my mom's house (LOL) asking about me. He left his number but I never called him back, even if I'm kinda curios sometimes. Tbqh I would feel kinda strange reconnecting since he was the major cause that ruined my social life, leaving me with no friends at a critical point in my life. I still have no friends/gf now and he's married with kids and stuff. He probabily feels kinda guilty( because he knows my situation) and wants to clean his conscience
>>
>>31100680
I think maybe you don't quite understand what the words "obsessed" or "stalking" really mean, OP.. They don't mean that you send someone a text message lol
>>
>>31100680
I actually blocked some ex-friends recently, because they didn't value our friendship and treated me as an emotional dumpster.

If they blocked you it's for a reason OP. Move on with your life and let them move on with theirs.

File: 1490656247502.gif (3.7 MB, 448x251)
3.7 MB
3.7 MB GIF
I'm uncomfortable with sex and don't enjoy it or seek it out. Does that make me asexual?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Bump, any other thoughts? Part of me would really like to be in a relationship but on the other hand it seems like a stupid think to want if I'm not sure I even want sex at all
>>
>>31100458
You could seek a religious partner?
Someone who's saving themselves for marriage.
>>
Hey, mass effect adromeda is a good game
>>
>>31097741
No, asexual is like a child who has no idea what a sexual feeling is, and no interest in it the way most people are uninterested in bird seed.
>>
>>31097741
Most likely you have avoidant attachment or are a dismissive avoidant.

I've had it for years.

Would you have regretted it if you focused your early adulthood solely on success? I'm very pessimistic about my generation's future (I'm 19) and the feeling that all of them will fall off to borderline suicidal states in the near future keeps growing more and more. I also feel like the early 20s is where most people fuck up their lives. How have your friends from this age turned out nowadays? Should I ditch them and chase the bag?

All of them except for one are gigantic fuck-ups, by the way. But I feel like that's the case for over 90% of this generation's males. Ambitionless, depressed, porn-addicted, etc.
8 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31099004
Probably. I was a late bloomer so that age was when I hit a lot of social milestones. I needed that or I would be super weird instead of just weird.

And I was very indecisive. I probably would have wasted a lot of time putting work into things I would ultimately quit.

Your friends sound like losers though.
>>
>>31099004
>I also feel like the early 20s is where most people fuck up their lives.
Yep, that's true. I myself am exactly one of those retards. I used COVID as an excuse to isolate myself from society for years 19-21, and now my life is pretty fucked. I've changed it a lot for the better this year (22M), but that's a lot of time I'm not getting back.

I think every man (regardless of age) SHOULD focus on success, but you need to avoid the trap of focusing on it too directly. Western culture idolizes the idea of sacrificing sleep, relationships, etc. in order to achieve career success, but if you try to do this (like i did in my teens) you're going to burn out like a motherfucker and look for an excuse to ruin your own life. Good health and good people are the foundations of success, not obstacles to it, and I couldn't even begin to fix my shit until I sorted those things out.

Another thing to watch out for is the constant comparisons that our culture tries to get you to make. I would say it's the core reason why people our age turn into fuckups: they start comparing themselves to random motherfuckers on a screen, decide that they're never going to succeed in life because they're not a billionaire at 16 or some shit, then waste years (or decades!) of their life jerking off in their rooms all day to hide from their new-found inferiority complex. So that's my advice: don't worry about other people's lives, don't run away from your own life, go and spend every second of it making it better.
>>
>>31099004
>Would you have regretted it if you focused your early adulthood solely on success?

Yes, and yes I currently regret it

>Going to be 24 next month
>Polyglot
>Midwit but managed to have success
>Senior, almost lead engineer at this point
>Financially support myself, provide for my whole family
>Workout daily on weekdays
>Meditate
>Spend some time in language courses
>Work from home
>Seriously make a fuckton of money for my current budget and cost of life

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>31099004
I went to college right out of high school and was set to graduate with a bachelors before I was old enough to drink. At this time I met my partner. They struggled a lot with depression and ultimately flunked out of school. I dropped out of college so that we could be together, with the intention of going back when we could afford it. I got a job in my field of study and fucking hated it. I married my partner. We both got low effort midwit jobs that pay us a middling wage. Are looking to buy a house in the next year so we can start having children.

I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life, but pursing money above all else wasn't one of them. Have goals. Care about them. But consider other things that contribute to your happiness and prioritize accordingly. As a rule, try not to take yourself too seriously. Try new things and make some mistakes. And for the love of god take care of your health. Half my friends from high school are struggling to survive and it all went down the shitter with increased access to hedonistic outlets (drugs, casual sex, etc). Good luck my guy.
>>
>>31099004
>I'm 19
stop caring. do whatever you want as long as you are being responsible with yourself. things might be bad right now but they will not be this bad forever, so have some hope.
but yeah, don't be retarded enough to try to become an artist or whatever bs if you know you aren't good enough. just do what you like and make a career from that.

File: 171367928771640325.jpg (28 KB, 567x336)
28 KB
28 KB JPG
Let's say 4chan (or someone else) decided to dox me. How does someone else go about doing that, and how do I protect myself from anyone ever digitally finding me?

>use separate email address from personal for any accounts
Is the only thing I can think of
>>
>>31100571
what are you going to achieve by doxxing a person like me or whoever

like what are your goals
>>
>>31100594
did you read the post
>>
>>31100571
This really depends upon your adversary. If it's someone randomly doing it for lulz then not reusing email addresses, phone numbers, usernames, or over sharing personal details will protect you.

If it's someone very computer savvy who has resources and with a genuine reason to have a vendetta against you. Don't have anyone in your life traceable who knows a thing about you, don't have ever used social media, never post images taken from your camera to give clues to your location, don't be American, the same suggestions as the first group of people above but never have made that mistake even in the past. Any account where that mistake occured until you cleaned up your security should be presumed to still link to you in the context of this kind of adversary.

Law enforcement or a four letter agency. If you have to ask you're fucked already.
>>
>>31100634
For the second one I forgot, trust no links or software sent by anyone. Verify everything manually. Any information provided to a site or service, even not publicly available will leak someday. So you cannot even have accounts associated to you they have awareness of where you entered such details.

In general your strongest defense is to follow the advice in adversary number one. Beyond that adversary two can be avoided completely by not giving someone like that valid reason to hate you that much, not being a skid, and not being internet infamous. So don't be an asshole. Adversary three is simply don't break the law.

I cant stop thinking about specific things. Mostly Psychiatry, child psychiatry, pharmacueticals, prescription drugs, Psychiatric drugs. I didnt know any of this shit existed until my 20s and it freaks the fuck out of me. I dont look at anyones kids the same way anymore. I am suspicious of all my friends thinking about what drugs they could be on. I dont want to form any connections with anyone just incase they start taking some crazy pharmacuetical drug.

I try to think about other things, or just stay calm, but I keep going back and getting my heart rate up over just thoughts. Then I start going to reddits that I know will make me freak out even more, because apparently Im that masochistic. But I think the only way to actually get over this is to confront it and learn about it more realistically. I think Im very distrusting of establishments, especially medical establishments. Any help appreciated
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31098118
I thought about it a bit more. Maybe it's quicker if you go to Mingyur Rinpoche's YT channel and take his suggestions re. anxiety as also applicable to obsessive thoughts. Both are mindstates you involuntarily get immersed in.
E.g. a short vid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUpiQ5vtOzw
>>
>>31098130
I think I understand, but I think I would say the same thing as before because it opens into some broader problems.

My escape/comfort was going to be people because I dont care about anything else. I have hobbies and goals but ultimately I get too deconstructive about the world and end up feeling futile and depressed about it all, so I was going to end up attaching myself to people and creation. I like creation but its completely pointless without other people so I had to learn how to get along with people, and I really do want to.

But I find I dont relate to a lot of people, the vast majority of people dont have goals like mine or orient their lives like mine, and it gets lonely. So I think I obsess over topics like I mentioned in OP because its such of peak of how much I dont relate to some people.

So I am stuck in this mode of like thrive or die. I dont have anyone, my whole family is drifting apart more each year, I relate less and less with friends and other people, Im getting older and desperately trying to make someone of myself and doing it all alone no matter how much I try to involve other people. So I just ruminate about insane shit.

I dont think I have a point thats just what I'm going through
>>
>>31098199
It's not really "insane shit", it's just a perspective most ppl are numb to. There's plenty wrong with the world. My point was you should look for or make environments where it's easy to find what's right, so you can amplify that and establish positive feedback loops. If your foundations have significant issues it pays off to pay some deliberate attention to the world beyond just people, because it's what supports people, including (you). Like my advice to psychopaths is "go farm", it's the most extreme measure I know to get your shit back in order.
Escape and comfort are disjunct. Escape is what you do to avoid acknowledging that you are experiencing discomfort.
So maybe you really do need to retreat from "going to people" in the way you have been, and one way to do that is to work on appreciating the world beyond just "people". Another is to look into the (human) meditation traditions that may well help you get over some of your distaste and feeling of alienation, and on the other hand, to appreciate and be more attentive to what's appreciable abour people. It's the same thing but my initial suggestion was "low tech", while getting into meditation is so to say "hi tech".

Probably some cultural differences (I'm European) but I hope these suggestions help you find some new stuff to do that's comforting and reliable.
>>
>>31097788
The only thing I can tell, that my mental health gets better over time and I was even able to reduce the dose. Every drug has sideefects. My doc tells me that the target is to being mentaly stable anough to get rid of the drug. Its not healty in the long run. But target number one is to cure the psychosis. after that i can get rid of the drug and the sidefects. I don't care about schizos telling me horror storys. I just want my life back. And I'm on a good way. I was able to overcome depressen and already got rid of the antidepressants. I'm even able to read 100 pages a day nowdays. Before it was only 2.
>>
>>31097129
I’m about to get on Zoloft for social anxiety. I can’t check out at a store if it’s not self checkout. I’ll walk around holding what I want to buy for half and hour and then I’ll give up and put it back and leave. I can’t order food through a drive thru. I can’t talk on the phone

File: download.jpg (9 KB, 225x225)
9 KB
9 KB JPG
Well, I guess the only relationships I've had (if you can them that) were discord flings I've had with trans girls I met on LGBT.

Other than that, just a single pringle :3 I'm 6'2" white, muscular and make an upper middle class salary. I live very cheaply though in a shoebox apartment because I don't need all that extra space if I'm just gonna work and then play WOW.

I go to the gym everyday but no women seem interested in me.

Now that I'm getting older am I really just left with all all the leftovers? Tattoos, their own offspring, fat, and pining for a man they once had in their 20's? BLEGH!

I mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with what I just mentioned but I'd really prefer a blonde woman that works her own job, big boobs that wears gamer shirts, I'd also appreciate if she made me my protein smoothie in the morning. In return, I'd treat her like my queen
>>
File: smile.png (95 KB, 289x231)
95 KB
95 KB PNG
>>31099504

Do you talk to women at the gym?

Or to strangers in wow?

Also how would you describe your hygiene, grooming, haircut, teeth?
>>
>>31099504
So what is wrong with your face then?
>>
>>31099504
Every vaguely muscular white guy who is 6'2 thinks they're the hottest shit and automatically win at everything. News flash, you have to try to make yourself interesting and attractive.

File: 1711484901901715.jpg (247 KB, 1280x953)
247 KB
247 KB JPG
Very lonely, feels like it's killing me. I have physical chest pain and I feel psychological distress from not having a stable circle of friends/potential gfs. In terms of looks I'm 5/10 (rated as such consistently), I have no sexual experience, just occasional kisses with women that I never see after. My last date was a year ago, I feel anxiety when thinking about going out.

How should I approach this situation in a healthy manner and actually find fulfillment in my personal relationships? Please help me, I feel genuine physical and mental pain each day
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>31098346
I already go out a lot, the issue is not being able to find anyone when I do.
>>
File: 1713169110420074.jpg (240 KB, 810x1080)
240 KB
240 KB JPG
>>31098396
33yo HKV here.
All you whiners disgust me.
>>
>>31098460
It's not possible to live like that. It causes health problems and early death. You need companionship and intimacy to live an optimal life. Otherwise, you'll be miserable, depressed, and die in your 60s.
>>
File: What they want.jpg (79 KB, 720x960)
79 KB
79 KB JPG
>>31098466
It's not by my choice.
Females are the ones causing the pointless species wide bottleneck.
The system itself prevents anyone from disciplining them.
>>
>>31098323
maybe i could do some help.

File: 1241241234123.jpg (239 KB, 961x816)
239 KB
239 KB JPG
How do I cum more?
>masturbate less
Yeah, I get that, I'm already down to one coom day every 2 weeks, but I need MORE.
I've heard that zinc and drinking a lot of water help, but what else? Is there anything I can add to my diet to produce bigger loads?
>>
Prostate massage
>>
>>31100586
I just googled it a bit and I'm actually already doing this, I didn't realize it had a term
It helps me poop but if it helps me coom bigger too then all the better

File: 1713310184374051.jpg (94 KB, 976x850)
94 KB
94 KB JPG
I've never really cared that much about having friends. The only times I have cared is when I'm bored with my life and want to make it more interesting. I have few friends, and even fewer close friends. I don't see them a lot, and I prefer to keep it that way. I don't really like intimate relationships. I have had girlfriends in the past, but I dumped them because they were too in love with me. My doctor says it's autism, but are other autistics really like this?


[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.