My girlfriend is conventionally attractive, has a very high libido, is actually bisexual (not performative), and (supposedly) has an oral fixation, outside of that she's one of if not the most vanilla women I have dated. I know I should not be comparing my girlfriend to any of my exes, however at the very least they had toys, outfits, articles of clothing, and various sexual activities that they were into, and at least one of them was very very into kink/fetish culture. Every toy, every outfit, everything which has been done to spice up our sex life has been my doing. While she enjoys many of these things I add to the relationship, they have exclusively come from me. While she claims she has sexual interests, she has told me nearly nothing about them and the few she has discussed with me she has made 0 initiative to engage in them. I have attempted to explain to her that simply doing missionary and cowgirl until we both finish is not very enjoyable, as that was our sex life for a significant chunk of our relationship. Sex is very important to both of us, but she continually states that I am responsible for her sexual pleasure and not herself, and because of this she refuses to masturbate. She then wonders why I have been finding having sex to be less and less enjoyable with her to the point of me often not wanting to have sex at all. I cant just straight up tell her "hey, I wish you were more like my exes", however it feels like thats what its coming to. They knew what they wanted and were willing to get it while she makes me guess and if I guess wrong I get fucked, not in a good way.
>>35076147You are a porn addict weak boyI've had the same vanilla missionary & doggystyle sex with my wife for 14 years now, we love it and can't get enough, not even larpingTo me it looks like you will awkwardly insist on using a bunch of paraphernalia during sex and then grow tired of any woman you ever get with over time, ultimately killing your relationships and leaving everyone disappointedIf you weren't such a coomer and were actually more into your girl you wouldn't have this thirst for endless novelty, which you can't quench btw
>>35076166>Try going to couples therapyOne method of couple therapy a lot of couple use is where the man beats his wife to mold her into a good match and a good marriage. Make sure you get her to consent to it. No beating in the heat of anger. There will be a time of each week set aside for her beatings. You'll have documented everything she needs to work on and have thought out good lectures on it that you give her during her beating.
>>35076166What is it with this couples therapy trend? Those are for long standing relationships that encounter temporary hiccups.They aren't there to fix fundamentally incompatible matches. OP and his girlfriend don't vibe sexually, either one party "compromises" and aceepts permanent dissatisfaction for the sake of the relationship, or it is better to look for another partner.Couples therapists aren't miracle workers who can rejigger people sexuality and make them compatible. Thats not a thing, and any serious couples therapist will tell you as much. The solution to a good relationship is finding someone whom you vibe with on all levels, not desperately cling to someone who doesn't really fit and try to hammer them or yourself into a mold just to continue the relationship.
>>35076206>we have agreed that we will not engage in sexual activity wirh each other if we're intoxicatedthats some retarded shit. You won't accidentally rape each pther because you've had a bottle of wine or something , just in case that you are too Twitterbrained to consider reality.
>>35086178>leaving everyone disappointedIt completely eludes me how "everyones" feelings matter in your most private choices such as a partner. You just live your life according to what others think of you don't you.
I can spend my life loving someone deeply, thinking of no one else, because my pure and genuine feelings reside solely within me. Yet, this slowly wears me down. The person I loved is no longer who I knew they were the one who waged war against my darkness, approaching me with warmth and embracing me with absolute sincerity. In a way, loving like this brings me comfort; it shields me from the emotional and physical pain of offering myself to others. But it is also a profound torment. Loving an illusion, something no longer real, feels incredibly empty. To cope, I sometimes give others a chance and let them into my life, which brings a fleeting sense of satisfaction. But with each passing day, I am starting to resent my own body and my very self. I am wasting away, both spiritually and physically. When I look in the mirror or touch my own skin, I see someone who is slowly crumbling a devastating agony. I constantly wonder: which torment is better, which is more right? I know there is no manual for this. Should I try to love again? No. I don’t want to love someone new, nor do I have it in me. I just want the comfort of the space I know loving and valuing them, even if they are gone, even if it’s no longer real. By offering myself to other people and opportunities, I am merely resurrecting a dead past, constantly replaying the same tragic theatrical act. And this play brings me the deepest of sorrows. Still, even if it isn't real and they are no longer here, the mere ability to love them feels so much more peaceful. It is a safe past at least, as long as I ignore the parts of it that aren't real. The thought of impulsively surrendering myself to this imaginary realm feels good. Which pain is truly more agonizing? We will never know.
>>35086269This nigga thinks he Shakespeare haha
Can give context if needed.I signed his info up to mailbot. I also got him to drive 2 hours away to give a quote to nobody with a fake number. Are there any other ways to mess with him?
I've also been trying to help one of the workers find housing and have since showed him 6 or so rooms he could afford but he has a massive RV that he refuses to get rid of and his girlfriend has some issues with the rooms I've found for them. They eat out most days and throw away a lot of leftovers instead of saving them. She smokes a lot. There's some legal stuff they have to do. I try to tell him to make her quit. Stop wasting money etc. But they just don't. I've even took him to buy food at 12 am once because they hadn't eaten for 2 days.Is there something wrong with me?
>>35085455If you cannot take risks, you will accomplish nothing of worth.Another idea would be a class action lawsuit with all of his victims. That will cost tens of thousands of dollars. There is no justice in this country. So be a vigilante. :)Be smart about it.
>>35085467>Is there something wrong with me?Trying to help people who aren't willing to take responsibility for themselves
in eastern europe "his" workers would unite one afternoon and beat the shit out of him, talking their tools back and noone would a)bat an eye and b)snitch to the authorities c) he would learn his lesson
>>35085817Isn't that what (((good))) people are supposed to do? >>35085828Unfortunately a lot of them are drug addicts and we can't find them. I mentioned it elsewhere and a guy mentioned he knew him and a bunch of guys he didn't pay. I told him I know where he lives and he said ok give me the address he'll get some guys but every time he just leaves so I think he's either afraid of the consequences or is just pretending to be a tough guy.
I have a deep, instinctive "ick" when I witness incompetence from my boyfriend. When we play a video game or do a logic test or anything and he stumbles, fails, does a poor job I feel anger and want to shake him.This is not about emotions, he is very tender and sweet, I don't mind that at all or tears and intimacy. Doesn't turn me off in the slightests. It is just about incompetence when it comes to skill or power.It's a problem because I try to not to feel this way but it is my instinct, it comes from within, must be some monkey brain programming of "ME NEED MOST COMPETENT APE TO BE SAFE". Has anyone ever dealt with this and improved in this area? As fucking stupid it sounds, it's causing problems for me because I often can't relax when we play things because I get butthurt when I see him fail. And he probably can't relax either.
>>35085986I LOVE video games. I share this hobby with him, we play lots of games together. Single player, CO-OP or MMOs. That is not my issue. My issue that I have some weird, instinctive ick mode when I see him do something stupid or low IQ in a game and I get harsh or angry. I try to work on it and made the thread to find some suggestions.
>>35086043Not as mad as you will be when you kiss some lips that had dicks and balls on them. Seethe and cope.
>>35086040I have a lot of obviously low IQ friends but I encourage them by saying everyone is smart in their own way and at certain thingsOne low IQ friend is excellent with his hands - fixing all the things that break around the houseAnother low IQ friend has an encyclopedic knowledge of pretty much every song that plays on the radio and is an excellent cook around the house: from grocery shopping to prep to the cookingAnother low IQ friend focused on learning the basics of finance and saving and has fashioned herself as an expert on that that helps at local personal finance clubs and hands out books on personal financeAnother low IQ friend has mastered being a chill, easy going person that doesn't get rattled much
>>35086080>calms down about the fact that his gf got fucked and cummed on by other menOh so you're a cuck got it
>>35086161>cuck opinion detected>opinion dismissed
Is their anyway to recover from having a cunt BPD mother and a pussy whipped father?
>>35081358Reduce contact, move away, you're probably gonna to do some reading, introspection, therapist to consciously figure out all the ways this has fucked you up, search for online resources regarding the dynamics of a child with a BPD parent, the symptoms, the behaviors you've normalized just to circumvent her moods and abusive behaviors.Shame that your father is a pussy, the only way a BPD relationship can last is if you take on the abuse, I guess.
>>35081503This is really eloquent advice. I admire your grasp of language.
Do a dialectic behavioural therapy (DBT). You will learn how to stabilise your sense of self and how to regulate your emotions, something you probably never learned in an unstable household.t. Haver of untreated BPD mom and a PD myself
>>35081358You might learn the difference between THERE and THEIR.
Disengagement works. You don't need to go no contact to disengage. Just be there less, and focus more on building your own life independent of them. You may find that with distance and time you can have a resonablemrelationship with them down the road. May I suggest reading the book 'Angela's Ashes?' Great example of what you're dealing with and how a man eventually broke loose after a fashion. Be a man you can be proud of. Recognize the behavioral patterns you've adopted from them, and break loose of them. Don't be to your kids what the worst part of your parents were to you; this is an enormous but important thing. Men who do this successfully become amazing fathers.
>>35041964I'm waiting for a psych appointment, it's been a month already and I'm still waiting for a call back to book the damn thing. is it worth it to bug my gp and see if he can change the dose on my adhd meds in the mean time? I was going to discuss a different med with the psych but something to tide me over would make the wait more tolerable. it's going to be Jan at the earliest before I can actually see the psych, probably more like late Feb
Get a load of thisBe at uniSit next to this girl for the first timeFw,SHE asks me for my phone to put her contactHadn't bothered myself for whatever reasonsTexted her later in the day still no response after a dayWhat was the point of this, I had no intentions of ruining my day but she just had toI didn't ask for her contact, if she wasn't interested she should have kept itWhat can explain this
>>35085430Go away newfag. Can't read your shit
>>35085493I’ve been on this board longer than your mother's been jerking you off
>>35078419Discipline and a fuck-it attitude. You don't your feelings get in the way of your plans, and you temporarily change your perspective to stop caring about the result so it becomes easier to do.
I used to be fat, but now i lost a bunch of weight. I probably went from a 4 to an 8 over 1 year. I got a gf but i still get flooded by new women liking me and openly flirting me such as complimenting my arms or touching me for no reason at all. I have been ugly all my life. I have never had any girl have a crush on me. But now i am overwhelmed. What am i supposed to do? I cant just cheat on my girlfriend. Is it possible to have 100 girlfriends? I feel like i could be one of the few men who could actually manage a harem of women. I know this sounds like a big fat larp. But even if it is, just know what i am describing really does happen to a few lucky people who grew up as ugly ducklings.Its like, my empty, starving dating life suddenly became an all you can eat super buffet of any flavor or variety over 1 year. I do not have the wisdom to navigate this situation without letting it corrupt my ability to have a single girlfriend. I feel compelled to consume.
Just tell the women that you have a girlfriend and are not interested. Avoid situations that might lead you to be tempted, for example don't be alone with a woman who is interested in you. Also, bear in mind that most of these women are probably shallow and don't care about your personality anyway.
if yall two break up you could try being in a bunch of hook up relationships, if you wanna try out being with a bunch of women at once.
>>35084617It's not a problem to date multiple women, so long as everyone involved is fully aware of everything that is going on and is happy with it. It's a massive problem if you lie to people.
Relationships have always been very difficult for me, ill be honest im pretty mentally unwell with a fuck ton of childhood trauma which might be the reason for all of itI get extremely attached way too quickly, and when I say attached I trully mean it, whenever i bring it up with guys on dates they either laugh or think its cute but its a serious issue I've had in every relationship I've been in, and every breakup has been because of this, I crave and need attention from my significant other, when im in a relationship I need to be around them EVERY day, they need to reply to my texts within an hour or I get panicked, even at work. I get unbelievably jealous whenever they'd hang out with their friends and I wasn't included or did anything, any activity that doesn't involve mei don't know why my brain does this it just does, when I dont receive attention every chance possible I get mad, depressed and manicUsually id manage it by smoking weed every day to distract myself from those feelings but that is not sustainable in any wayhow do I stop this? how can I just "live by myself'' when in a relationship? and why do men lie and say they WANT a someone that clingy and attached when they VERY much dont in my experience? I've falled for the bait and dated a guy who specificaly told me hes into that, that relationship lasted 3 weeks because I "couldn't give him space" .
>>35081883How many days of your life have you soent i complete solitude?You should try it.Force yourself to be uncomfortable.You are very literally acting like a baby. Only babies need this much attention.If you cannot let your man live his life outside of the home, that just means that you are too scared to live your own life.Face your fears to overcome them. Embrace the pain of solitude so that your time together is that much more meaningful and memorable.Sigh... Women get to cycle through dozens of relationships while men like me get nothing.
>>35081883So, men experience similar things all the time. And what men are taught is that actions and emotions are two different things. You can feel emotions but acting on them is what gets you in trouble. So the key is to create a separation between the two.It can be unbearable, but that's what you signed up for. Relationships are pretty much a drug addiction.
>>35082369I guess im more scared I'll get abandoned, or that they'd leave me, I cant ever get that thought out of my head, and the fact that it always happens makes those feelings stronger and stronger(forgot to mention, english isnt my first language so if I say some things wrong I apologise lol)
>>35081883Get yourself a decent therapist. Someone who does Dialectical Behavioural Therapy.
>>35082369men like you DESERVE none
The daycare lets the kids hit each other up to 4 time before being sent home. They aren't punished or anything. I know this isn't normal. What should I do?
>>35078375>i leave my child surrounded by violent subhumans and the 1-2 caretakers are too busy with the animals to care for my child>what do????Realize you're wasting one whole salary to have your child raised by adults who have no bond with your child, surrounded by lesser taught savages. One parent rearing all 1-3 of your kids, living poor on one salary is preferable to your kids vying for attention among 30 kids, most of whom will be a net detriment to their quality of life.
its completely normal tho. intervening is not normal. dont you remember being a child? when i was in kindergarden there was a scuffle at least once per week, we would fight and hit each other for like 5-10 minutes and then be done and commence doing what we were doing before like nothing happened. yes there will be blue marks and nosebleeds but thats all, no hard feelings ect, because remember, we were kids?only the fucking adults would raise the alarm and be uncool about it.
>>35085642* 100% white children kindergarden tho
Seeing people who couldn't fight for themselves having traumatizing recollections
>>35078375You have to be 18 or older to use this website. If you have an issue getting beat up at daycare you should talk to your parents.
A hot girl invited me to go camping last night. what are the chances that my organs get harvested if I go?
>>35084401alright, she texted me earlier saying she wants to go on friday so I guess we'll see what happens
>>35084255All women are both
>>35084424keep thread alive until then. OP let us know if you wake up in a bathtub with a weird scar around where your kidney is
>>35084855Op hereI'll try to keep this thread alive and give an update after friday. I hope I don't end up -1 kidney lol
>>35080161You're having sex. Have fun!
How do I not be a fucking pussy about self expression? I've long had pointless stress about it and repress myself. I'm thinking about trying expressing myself in a more feminine way. There's nothing that could really go wrong with that, just altering your cosmetics somewhat. Big deal? Yet if I wanted to simply try this I think of how I'd even present that to people in my life. That seems daunting. It, funny enough, takes balls to be unashamed about that. It's not just that though. I've felt repressed in many manners of self expression. I'm not much of a risk taker. I've always felt weird about say, practicing something, or creating something outside of solitude, I've felt ashamed of trying. I could mess around with an instrument right now that I don't know how to use, just to feel it out. I'd know absolutely nothing about how to use it right off the bat, but to begin at all, you'd have to be there. I'd feel ashamed to do this, I'd be ashamed and feel watched and harshly judged, but also strongly discouraged because not only would I be doing something "badly", I'd be doing it, NOT KNOWING WHAT I'M DOING AT ALL! This is weird, and I don't know exactly why this is instilled in me. There is something to there being a time and a place for a thing, but why should I feel ashamed when I literally have nothing better to do with my time? It's my life, why am I such a faggot about this?
>>35080120AvPD. You can take drugs to make it less uncomfortable, but you'll never stop feeling weird when you're being seen.
>>35081817>AvPDCould be. I'm not sure. If that is my problem then I must be a somewhat advanced case because I do have a theory for interpersonal relations that pulls me through at least a little. What drugs would I take?
>>35080120Courage is more important than not feeling fear, the fear is an expression of your care which is why you also wish to express. Courageously expressing is a reflection of your character because you do the right thing while feeling the fear, if you do not feel the fear there is no nobility in the act. Additionally you escape the fear by doing the action. The fear informs that you need more experience, which you may only be able to get through doing it in fear.
>>35080120>why am I such a faggot about being a faggot?
so im in my 20s and in my first real relationship (we are long distance unfortunately) but we met up recently and long story short we both had a great time together and one of the nights we got super drunk and she stayed with me in my hotel and things were escalating fast, tongue kissing and cuddling and shit, all of that. but its like i couldnt really control my dick? like sometimes it would get hard but sometimes it wouldnt, almost involuntary and randomly. keep in mind we were both super drunk and tired and we were falling in and out of sleep the entire night so that probably contributes to it but still. i remember at one point while we were sleeping i like half woke up and started humping her butt and my dick just wouldnt get hard even though it felt amazing and i wanted it to.i WAS slightly nervous because i hadnt even kissed a girl before and we were just tongue kissing right off the bat but still it wasnt super bad nervousness. is something wrong with me psychologically? do i have ED? is it just a combination of being super tired and drunk that made my dick not wanna go up or what?>inb4 gaydefinitely not and i wouldnt say i have a severe porn addiction, i mean i masturbate almost everyday but i hadnt really done it for a few days leading up to us meeting up and i always get a boner whenever we get all lovey over the phone so im really not sure
Generic performance anxiety. It happens at any age. You're probably fat too and forget to breathe and get outta breath. Should've eaten her out to get her excited and moaning to get you excited too or get her to suck your dick or something just get outta your head and take her like an animal and you should be fine. Imagine having to take off a condom because you went soft and didn't even nut. It's embarrassing and she's telling her friends about it but that's life there's nothing you can do except just get out of your head and worry less about trying to impress her and just making her feel good. You can only hope she has low self-esteem and thinks you couldn't get hard because she's also fat and ugly. Do not take medication for this, dude. It's just psychological and it happens to everyone. Don't become dependent on medication it'll fuck you over.
>>35085349>is it just a combination of being super tired and drunk that made my dick not wanna go up or what?Probably, yes.
I need some help with my sister and friend.My sister likes this guy. We're friends too, and have been since kids but I feel like they're taking advantage of my kindness.Basically as of late, he's moving homes and she keeps asking me to go over to their house and help with stuff like moving and so on. I don't mind if it's moving heavy stuff like furniture and big boxes, but we've been over like 5 times and most stuff was just dusting, cleaning, throwing away trash, packing stuff up, and just doing house keeping rather than moving shit. My sister was even folding his clothes and underwear and packing them away cause he asked her to.I feel like I'm not being treated as a friend and more like free work. I was even on my phone and the dude tried to find something for me to do like I needed to be busy constantly while there and just got me to dust some really old figurine thing he never looked after.I feel like this happens a lot and I just noticed now. I even asked my mum and she's confused why I'm doing so much. chatgpt says it's normal to help pack, move and unpack based off of closeness but dusting might be much.
Old: >>35081694
>>35087224Incredibly good post
>>35087785your manlet ancestors figured out how to crush pussy, follow their footsteps.
>>35087491Pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about faggotSocial retards with IQs above 100 exist everywhere and they don’t have learning disabilities. People with actual retardation and social retards get lumped together under the autism umbrella when they are nothing at all alike. Under Eugen Bleuler they lumped schizophrenia under it too.Autism is just being a coward wimp nerd who gets no bitches
>>35088026His manlet ancestors didn't have to deal with the modern dating scene.
>>35086323>Girl next door means asianThis test is stupid
They keep laughing at me and calling me gaytard and gayboy and other names. They did catch me doing something that could be perceived as gay, but I only did it as a dare, and I didn't even like it. But they walked in while it was happening, and now they mock me endlessly.I've explained the situation over and over again, but they still just laugh at me. I'm the butt of a lot of jokes now and it's really getting me down.
>>35081687You're gay OP. Dare and do is just a weak excuse for you wanting to do already. You and an openly gay guy who knew you were gay hooked up.
>>35081687>pressured and manipulated into sucking cockAre you sure you are not a woman?You will not live this down anytime soon and the bullying is there to make you self improve.Instead of whining, get angry and throw hands. We will respect you for it.And, dude... Being manipulated into it is worse than doing it willingly. Don't you have a will of your own?
>>35081726>>35082607>>35082699I get what you mean, but I was so confident in my sexuality that I could suck it and know that it meant nothing except I was a hard enough man to do it where other people would run in fear. I get where you guys are coming from but its more complex than that.>>35081882Maybe you are right. I don't get why they just can't drop it.
>>35084129Sucking dick does not make you hard.It makes the other man hard.Dumbass. XDYou got what you deserve.There is nothing complex about it: you are a fag now. There is no living it down unless you go to a libshit town full of gays and pride flags.
>>35080928You ARE gay.
