>>31691685
Stop being weak minded. Refuse to accept allergies from felines.

bump for better advice

theres gotta be something

>>31695100
Thank you but I forgot to mention that we are broke up up now, I should've written ex-gf

I am there with you man. Its fucking with my head big time too. I feel like its my fault, that if I didnt do x, if I didnt say y, she never would have started her affair. It makes me feel like a shitty person too. I know it isnt true. And I really did try my best in the relationship. No one can say I didn't. But I was immature and probably could have let more stuff go. But cheating is much worse. We even tried to deescalate the situation with a counselor before anything happened. It remained entirely emotional throughout our relationship. I think the only thing to do is realize the person who you are supposed to end up with won't do that to you and will value the relationship more than your/my ex. Yea my ex also said a lot of loving things, and I fully trusted her 100% until the last two months of our relationship. I honestly couldn't believe it happened.

>>31695147
So what's the problem then?

>>31695223
>I honestly couldn't believe it happened
I think that's part of the problem I'm having. It's been 6 months now since we broke up but there is still some part of me that is still shocked and can't quite believe it happened

>>31695534
did she ever reach out to you after the breakup? or to apologize since then? most of this board are guys who cant get laid and guys who have been betrayed in long term relationships...

>>31693767
>Though I suppose the next question is, how can I fix this? If I was able to become confident enough to not worry about the thoughts of others, then I would've gotten out of this situation long ago.
Well, maybe see it in a neutral light rather a bad one. Maybe your brain knew what you had needed and only looked to others so much because you felt that they could tell you who you are. Like using the audience (people you meet) as a mirror for you to try and piece the puzzle together. Only the puzzle always had a missing piece, right? Something always felt missing, bit like a void? That missing piece is (you) shaped. You are your own missing piece. That is you.

So with that in mind, the next logical step is: be good to yourself. Understand where you’ve been, what you’ve gone through, and what you are facing today and treat yourself with the same kindness you’ve been giving to others. That’s how OP.

I only skimmed the previous answers so sorry if I'm repeating something that's already been said, but this topic hits home. I spent a good chunk of my life so depressed that I can't even recall most of it. I did get proper medication to help me with my mental health issues after I reached a breaking point, but my personality at that point was basically shit and shallow.

What helped me the most was embracing and accepting that I'm starting from complete zero. Like a complete overhaul of everything I've known about myself up til then. I picked up random hobbies, and dropped them quickly if I didn't like them. I started trying out food left and right, I listened to a wide range of music, I went to shopping centres just to try on tons of different clothes. This also helped me figure out things I hated, which is an equally important part of a personality. It took me a few years to get a better grasp of "myself", but I think I'm getting there.

I also got into philosophy a bit to help me define my thoughts and values about the world, since my worldview before that was shaped by pain and thoughts I didn't experience anymore.

I also learned to interact with people from complete zero by reading books and guides. I can hold a conversation with strangers and friends now where both sides enjoy it.
And by talking to different people, I figured out what kind of person I want to and don't want to be.

Also, there is no "true" self per se. You are perceived differently by every single person that ever meets you, and if they described you back to you, you might not even recognize yourself. You might think of yourself as uninteresting and shallow, but to someone whose background is completely different, you might be incredibly interesting. Even the things you like and dislike might change over time, so there's no point to stressing over it too much.

>>31695056

What I'm trying to get at is basically this: trying to replicate a "you" from the past isn't all that helpful, focus on the "you" that you can be now. Things you don't need/want can be left in the past, and that will make room for new things you want now. The "you" that you are right now is things you do, want, and need now.

>>31690395

How about you try some non social hobbies to develop, like: reading, writing, puzzles, building models, etc. choose them on a whim and commit to them for a while in order see if you like them or not; change them if you want after a while. that way you will learn what you like and don't like. however, to avoid the problem of your undefined personality, make the vow of not talking about them or displaying the activity or its results in any way. I mean complete secrecy about them, not even a commentary to a co-worker or family member.

>>31695074
nta but to someone who went through the same thing, thanks this helps a ton.

>>31692583
>so isolated and such a loser he thinks shit tests are real
You will never have a gf

shit tests are real and women do them til 30 because they have the advatage, dating even out then til like 40 at which point men get the advantage and date younger or shit test women their age

>>31695545
>>31695551
Well now I don't know what to believe

>>31695610
it's just something people with options do to reduce their options unironically, young me shittest women if half their generation dies in a war

>>31695626
young men* shittest

>>31693817
I live in a country where public transit is pretty big so we did a lot of stuff in trains. Things like me fingering her to completion in a train car that wasn't too busy, or fucking in the toilet right before a busy stop so the moment we came out together all the people sitting near pretty much knew what just happened but couldn't do much about it. We did a lot of stuff out in nature like having a romantic picnic in a field and then fucking up against a tree in a high-traffic area just off the trail. I would also regularly make her wear skirts without panties when we went out in public. One thing we never did but always wanted to do was getting one of those remote control vibrators so we could use it on her in public. We also did some stuff a couple times behind closed doors but with friends present in the room, like me fingering her under a blanket while we were watching a movie, or very quietly having sex while friends were sleeping in the same room. Though I will say that is an easy way to lose friendships. That said, all of that stuff turned her on like you wouldn't believe, but she was very submissive so I'd always have to suggest it and make the first move. If your girl is as you've described her she'd probably be into a lot of the same stuff if you suggest it to her. You're in for the time of your life, anon.

>>31690798

I don't understand why brunettes are always dying their hair different colours like picrel. Can they not just be comfortable in their own skin? Red doesn't suit.

>>31693884
Ok that’s really exciting to hear haha, yeah I recently told my gf that we should try out some new stuff, like maybe stepping up our public sex game, and she was like “YESSS FINALLY!!” (cuz in the last I haven’t been as into it as she has been). Ideally, somewhere down the line, I’d love for her to start posting on GoneWild and stuff like that, cuz I know she’d be a massive hit

>>31694411
godspeed anon.

>>31694426
Thanks bro, nervous but excited

>>31695586
If you have no continuous close contact with women obviously you won't feel any emotional closeness to them. Fascination takes a bit of time. Genuine love takes a long time, and often requires commitment as a prerequisite. You don't really grow to love another until you have made a number of sacrifices for them.

File: Skärmavbild 2024-07-26 k(...).png (459 KB, 1532x406)

459 KB PNG

>>31695326
This is what I'm doing. I can't figure it out. I need a framing that makes me stop thinking about it like a loser. Help me anons?

File: breath meditation.jpg (503 KB, 741x833)

503 KB JPG

>>31695365
Picrel.

>>31695368
The same advice (>>31695365) applies to you.

>>31695373
I try but I can't. My rumination is based on reality and I see the person every week. They know. I know. For meditation to work, I need to become somewhat schizophrenic and I don't want to do that. My life is good. I just need help not ruminating. I was fine for so long before this kvldjfalnsojKFNALKVSCX,

>>31695402
I was referring to the rumination when I wrote about letting it go.A chain of thoughts and feelings leads from the cue of seeing or thinking of the person and the guilt. The breath meditation (in my experience) makes one consciously aware of such chains as like a row of upright dominos tipping against one another. The non-meditator typically doesn't have that experience but instead they are fully involved with the thoughts and feelings. Becoming consciously aware of them as objects made me more able to let them go.

>>31695590
I can always sodomise you, if you want.

They are raging covert narcissists, the most obvious tell is their shyness, quiet people aren’t quiet because they have nothing to say, they are quiet because they think they are so much better than others its exhausting to have to come down to other people’s level and socialize.

>>31695544
that's more common than not these days

>>31695518
>>31695544
>>31695558
Take your meds

>>31694156
Loomis has to be the most autistic of drawing methods. I wouldn't bother with that one.

Seconding Bob Ross and this book >>31692605

>>31692605
Does this book go into a lot of hippie pseudo science?

>>31691182
If you are going to /ic/, grab the pinned and get out. Don't stick around.

I interacted in there for 5 years and I can barely draw a cube right, I learned nothing in those years. I just do 3d animation now.

>>31692605
This book makes absolutely zero sense to me and I don't think it works on me

>>31695136
Huh. You're my type of idiot.

>>31695136
kek. Well Ig never goon

>>31695136
Lmfaoooo

>>31696017
the joke's over, Im tired of the bit. >>31695988

>>31696013
Nothing but lush vineyards as far as the eye can see, fountains of wine and endless festivities.

>>31695967
How many people do you think you're arguing with? Just an estimate.

File: 4f336896d3973e241e46b9e2d(...).jpg (57 KB, 563x554)

57 KB JPG

>>31695886
>3 periods of 4 months each where i took high doses of dxm everyday. got kicked out of many drug stores towards the end because the old lady cashiers would recognize me from earlier in the day
>pothead since i was 17 or so
>heavy alcoholic for 2-3 years after turning 21. had to go to rehab. relapsed for another year 2 weeks after getting out
>random nootropics like phenibut, racetams
>kratom, cigarettes, benadryl, gabapentin, coffee
despite all of my usage, i've never gotten high with anyone. i think i caused brain damage though because it is physically hard to talk and think now at 24. or maybe its just being hazy from weed.

>>31696024
taco! taco! me likey taco!

>>31694798
Read my comment here: https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/31681566/#q31682547

>>31695040
Me again. Rest assured that if you have a spark of ambition then you can achieve more than 99% of people think is possible*. So don't worry in the beginning about the "how" of your ambition, just find the "what."

*This is another story that I'll write up before long. Sorry to seem vague right now.

>>31694798
I don't think there's a secret. You just have to keep trying new things and maybe one of those things will light a spark in you. The trick though is to give any activity enough time. When you first start out and you suck at the activity, it will always seem boring and "not for you".

>>31694798
To get ambition, focus on things you want and what's required to obtain them.

For example, you sound like you live at home with your parents, don't you want a house of your own? It would be your own space, where you can do what you want and have privacy.

To get a house, you need enough money for a down payment (generally 20%) and a consistent income so you can pay off the mortgage.

This means you need to save money and get a job that can afford to pay your mortgage.

This means you need to need to get a job with decent pay (being a wagie won't cut it).

This means that you need to go to college/trade school in order to meet the requirements for a well paying job, or find a line of work that doesn't require any education and pays well.

Now, by focusing on the goal of one day owning a house, you have an ambition that can motivate you to work towards a better life.

File: asdukasdjkasdhasd.png (1.09 MB, 1344x1100)

1.09 MB PNG

all this bnwo shit is just a fantasy for actual cucks with an actual cuck fetish, your post too

>>31695200
>your post too
I don't have a cuck fetish.

>>31695200
Yeah most race cucking stuff is usually posted by cucks of that race e.g. bnwo being white cucks, wmaf being Asian cucks and so on

>>31694939
It might be different where I live (England) but virtually every white woman I knew and went school with is dating a white man, the same goes for people of other races dating within their race. My sister's ex was white and so is her current BF, in my family, dating a black guy isn't something you'll be hated for but it's treated as a meme and not something that would happen, like my mum said to my sister before she saw what her current BF looks like, 'he's not black, is he?', as a joke. I suspect it's the same for many others.

>>31695357
I see the same generally everyone dates within their race except for in big cities

>>31694955
With girlfriend*

I'm not a dog

Bump