How do you turn years of bullying, ostracization and isolation throughout all your teens and early 20s into being confident, charming with lots of friends in your late 20s
>>34588614You’re a slanderer and you freaks won’t fuck the hell off. Leave me alone, creep. Freak of nature. Lunatic
>>34588862D:
>>34587636your mind is on your money and your money's on your mind
>>34587361>How do you turn years of bullying, ostracization and isolation throughout all your teens and early 20sI turned this into ambition and an egocentric sense of fate and justice. My own wellbeing became a matter of universal objective justice for me. I am still as miserable as always but at least my mentality changed into something just and righteous.
>>34588566>Alexa and VivianHow the fuck are you letting two trannies bully you, as an adult man?
How do I get a gf who dedicates herself completely to me and only me?
>>34586700You're an insufferably needy little worm. Don't pretend to be a victim when you get cheated on because there's nothing wrong with it, anyway.
>>34586700One Wish Willow
>>34586700i wish i had a gf that would let me dedicate myself to her and only her but that's literally fucked up evil freak incel shit
>>34588606>Some are simply born handsome and did nothing to deserve it,They deserve it because they're handsome not because they did something good. Either way, it is possible they did something good in their past life to be reborn as chad.
>>34586700Stay off your phone and insist she does the same.
All my life I've been 'different', so it should come as no surprise that I turned out this way. I never went to high school, I've been homeless multiple times, and I've been institutionalized more times than I can count. If you're the kind of person to just tell me to kill myself because I'm a pathetic faggot or whatever, that still doesn't explain anything.I've been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and PTSD, among other things, and those most likely explain the general mechanisms of some of this, but not the details. I still don't know WHY. It's the content that's unusual, specific, and counterintuitive. I can't exactly explain the full picture without getting banned, but a lot of it seems like some strong, deep-seated aversion to things that are just considered "normal" for 99% of men, and I'm not sure why."Therapy" is such surface-level goyslop that it usually just leaves me feeling even more confused, frustrated, and enraged. The only other solutions I can think of are psychedelics or religion. I don't think there's any way to magically find some overarching explanation for any of this because none of it really makes any sense in the first place.
Bumping for similar situation and for jojo.
>>34585655Try traveling. Maybe you`re just in the wrong place.
>>34585655Okay, so:>You feel very different to other people, generally>You have ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and some undefined other things.>You are repelled by things other people would consider normal.>You never went to high school.>This is bad enough that you have been homeless and institutionalized many times.My gut tells me this points to one big underlying inciting incident, but what exactly, I can't say. There's simply not enough background information here for me to give an accurate response:You could have de-realization caused by early childhood trauma.You could be poorly-socialized, owing to the fact that you never went to high school. You could have been raised in an odd environment, and simply absorbed the idiosyncratic beliefs and mannerisms of your parents.You could have antisocial tendencies caused by intense bullyingYou could have a chemical imbalance.You could have super severe OCD, and your compulsions cause you to behave in odd ways.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34586474>You could have de-realization caused by early childhood trauma.>You could be poorly-socialized, owing to the fact that you never went to high school.>You could have been raised in an odd environment, and simply absorbed the idiosyncratic beliefs and mannerisms of your parents.>You could have antisocial tendencies caused by intense bullying>You could have a chemical imbalance.>You could have super severe OCD, and your compulsions cause you to behave in odd ways.A combination of all of these on some level.>I find this very interesting. Deep-seated aversions like this require some sort of inciting incident to form. You say you don't know why you have these aversions, though, which would suggest you've forgotten whatever caused it to form. How could you forget something so important? Sounds like memory repression to me.This is the main part that I don't understand myself. Why doesn't there seem to be an obvious root cause that would suddenly explain all of this?>It would help a lot if you could elaborate on what it is you're repelled by/avoid, because reverse-engineering the cause of it could explain a lot of your mental state. If you don't want to get into specifics, just the category of thing would help a ton. Socialization? Work? Sex? Travel? Also, when you say men, do you mean humans, or male men?The third one, it's uncomfortable to even type that word. Why do I feel so compelled to "protect" my entire being from something men spend their entire lives chasing? I'm not asexual, or LGBT, and I was never even abused in that specific way. 'I can't exactly explain the full picture without getting banned', but even then that's something compartmentalized that I'm largely detached from. It's everything else surrounding it that feels like adding insult to injury.
>>34586861>Why doesn't there seem to be an obvious root cause that would suddenly explain all of this?Are you certain there isn't? You seem to be quick to dismiss the very bad thing that happened as the root cause. Why?>'I can't exactly explain the full picture without getting banned', but even then that's something compartmentalized that I'm largely detached from. It's everything else surrounding it that feels like adding insult to injury.There are two things that can be inferred about this experience:1. You bring it up when talking about the deep discomfort sexual things make you feel, so it was sexual in nature.2. Your repulsion towards sex is *very* strong, so it must have happened earlier in life (less sure of this one).This would suggest you had a negative experience, sexual in nature, early in your life. If this is a correct read, It can almost certainly explain your psyche, even if you've gotten over it. There's a misconception that you overcome the harm caused by a traumatic experience by coming to terms with it, but that's not really true. If you were very stressed after the event, then even if you've now come to terms with it, your disorders could still be downstream of that stress. >The third one, it's uncomfortable to even type that word. Why do I feel so compelled to "protect" my entire being from something men spend their entire lives chasing? I'm not asexual, or LGBT and I was never even abused in that specific way.I don't think you were molested or something, but you also don't have to be to develop a repulsion to sex. If you felt fear, shame or guilt after the very bad thing you're hinting at, just the association of those feelings with something sexual in nature is enough for your mind to develop a strong negative association with sex. Whether you were a victim, perpetrator, or witness, has no bearing on it - all that needs to happen is the association of a sexual experience with negative emotions.
Is there a way to tell if I'm genuinely autistic or just socially-retarded?
>>34588559yes. a clinical psychologist can diagnose you. there are definitive tests
you're a nerd doomed to goon for the rest of his life kek what a loser
There's a difference?
>>34588577zoomers without healthcare are fish without water
I genuinely don't know what the fuck to do with myself anymore. I am 28 and I spent all of my 20s basically going to work and spending money to get into different hobbies. I always get bored. Literally nothing in this world interests me. I live to sit on the couch and watch tv and play video games. I'm really depressed and I recently took a week vacation and ended up just sitting in my apartment the whole time. I don't feel less stressed at all. I feel more stressed.
>>34587666>>34587981Do you have friends? The way you phrase this makes it sound like you've spent the last eight years working and doing things alone. It's pretty cliche advice, but humans are social creatures, and its impossible to be happy long-term without friends.Socialization releases serotonin, and your mind was built under the assumption you would regularly be socializing, so it relies on the serotonin you get from socialization to motivate you to do other things, or make you generally happy. Without socialization, your mind will produce less serotonin, and you will always feel very depressed, because you literally have less of the neurotransmitters associated with happiness.
>>34587666That's good monetary wise that nothing interests you. At some point you'll come across something that you want to pursue and you'll have the money to do it. Signing up to loser introvert/old people hobbies won't fix anything.
>>34587666>I'm really depressed and I recently took a week vacation and ended up just sitting in my apartment the whole time. I don't feel less stressed at all. I feel more stressed.I relate to you somehow. Why did you not travel in your vacation?
Suena que no tienes amigos no se deberías conseguir algunos salir y conseguir algo que te dé serotonina pq genuinamente la terapia para decir que te sientes deprimido termina con un montón de doctores imbéciles mandándote a intentar o metiendote tres kilos de pastillas que nisiquiera harán que dejes de sentirte miserable si no que no te dejen llorar lo que sería igual y peor que un bloqueo emocional si ya de por si te sientes de l mierda busca algo divertido que puedas controlar no drogas si no puedes con ello no alcohol por eso la gente termina siendo adicta talvez cosas menos dañinas no se me ocurre ninguna en el momento
>>34588473No, I don't have friends. I gradually started isolating myself in high school and by the time I reached my 20s, I gave up on the whole thing in general. Throughout my life I kinda saw a lot of relationships and friendships fall apart so I don't really put much value on it and it seems shallow.>>34588536I was going to but then I thought about it. What would I even do when I got there? I hate being outside in public. I hate people looking at me. So I just decided to stay home.
> first 2 months great with my gf> she starts getting crazy, wanting me to propose> go on a vacation trip for 7 days> come back> expects me to dog sit every time she works a 24h shift> offer to pay a dog sitter she already has> she refuses, wants me> fight lasts for weeks> in a rage I tell her to install bumble again and go be a whore there> come to her place that night, she tells me to leave 5 times, then calls me to come back> eventually I leave and we talk via phone until 1 in the morning> today, like a week later she tells me that she actually installed it, swiped like 2 times, matched a guy and deleted it straight away without even seeing who he is> my mom is supposed to have surgery this week, and I am already messed up about it(she knows)> this just broke me completely, and she doesn't even have any remorse besides "you told me to do it, but I shouldn't have reacted out of instict, you were a piece of shit">we've been dating for 5 months, seeing each other like 5 times a weekComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34583640>Bro she did not even wait a day before doing it...Because you told her not to wait a day. Look, you can blame her for a whole bunch of other shit, and I told you that you should break up with her and move on. But the Bumble thing specifically, that's 100% on you.
>>34583674Well the past few months she has been an unhinged piece of shit trying to force me into doing stuff I do not want to do and guilt tripping me into it. The only thing she had going for her was being faithful, but that gesture makes me even doubt that(or doubt that she will be in the future if I disagree with her), it's plain emotional blackmail and she knows it..."agree or else"
>>34583575both of you are controlling and untrusting. translating crazythink for you: she probably thinks you cheated on her during your trip. the dog thing is probably just her trying to make sure you're not going anywhere and it gives her an excuse to ask for updates about your whereabouts every 5 minutes. asking you to propose after 2 months just says it all. it's about control.you say it was great before but maybe you were just being lovebombed? just break up, you already broke up with her on impulse when you told her to install a dating app, obviously she told you about it to make you jealous, if that even happened at all.worry about your mother, this girl isn't worth it, she's gonna be a pain in the ass.
>>34583575Get out now. 2 months is early and it's better than 1 year. Believe me she's not the one for you. Get out before this relationship destroys you. Focus on your mom. This thing is lost and it will only end with you paying the cost.
>>34583575cucked by a guy on bumble because you couldn't hang out with a dog
Okay so since apparently nothing that I'm doing is working can someone give me a tutorial I can actually understand and apply?I've looked at the tutorials and I genuinely cannot understand them or figure them out. I don't know how to break things down into basic shapes nor apply them to what I want to draw. Unless someone explains the exact process to me I'm going to keep banging my head against the wall doing nothing. I tried Loomis, didn't work. I tried IC sticky and gave up immediately. Nothing has worked for me.
>>34585347Looks like Howie has actually gotten a little better desu
Howie is back everyone
>>34585045>>34585234>>34585264I know we are our harshest judges, but I really don't think your drawings are as bad as you think. [spoiler]Also, good choice, Hat in Time is nice[/spoiler]What I think might help you out is to allow it to flow more naturally, to not constrain yourself with forms and such that much. Unfortunately, that only comes with time and experience: draw, observe what you feel is off, and try to fix it. Rinse and repeat. Post your art so that you can hear some pointers, don't mind the harsh criticism that may sometimes emerge. Do it for yourself, because you want to.Also, there's a certain saying that applies to pretty much everything in life, but perhaps specially for creative stuff:>'Make it real first, make it good later'.So basically, don't worry about it being perfect at first, the most important thing, and the biggest heap for everyone, is the determination to keep practicing it.
>>34585045https://archive.org/details/drawing-on-the-right-side-of-the-brain/mode/2upCheck this book out it's an old classic. Archive dot org copy seems a bit blurry but you can find this used cheap or at the library.
Actual advice only please
Sex with prostitutes. Is it worth it? I'm sick of fapping and need a real woman.
>>34588764Don't be sad. I'm content with this arrangement.
>>34569870I understand the feeling. I've always opposed prostitution, I think it's bad for the people involved and for society, but I almost feel tempted.Not even that much for the sex. I just wanted someone to hug, kiss, put their hand on my cheek, caress them, that sort of thing.But I know how stupid that sounds. I also don't think you should do something so intimate and romantic with someone who doesn't even have romantic feelings for you.
>>34588774I would kill a million people just to have that girl you posted as my wife.
>>34588911I posted this girl >>34573515Don't know if you meant her or >>34588728
>>34589103That one >>34588728 Definitely that one
When I travel to new cities I find myself more likely to talk to strangers and strike up conversations with random people. I think it’s because I can use the “I’m not from around here” topic which spurs conversation easily.Yet when I go to places around my own city I don’t very comfortable talking to anyone and get shy. How I can bring that energy I have when I travel back home?
>>34584940I've traveled around the world, and I'm still too scared to start a convo with anyone outside my hostel room or tour group I take. I can't approach on street or in bars
>>34585603Right is Reddit
>>34584940I was the same way, and I think the reason was that when traveling if I opened my mouth and spilled spaghetti, I was gone the next day and no one who knew me would know. But back home, let's say at a party with friends, if I spilled, I'd be the "remember that guy at Fred's party who was weird?"
>>34586060That doesn't mean shit in real life so answer the question
>>34586808 Clean shaven is nice
In a relationship nearing 6 months with a coworker, but I find myself falling for my sister's friend who is younger, more attractive, and a virgin. I like my coworker, and we already spoke about starting a business together and having 4 kids, but I don't like how she is a nominal catholic (while I am protestant), she is the same age as me, and she likely has a past (I have never asked though). What would you do in this situation? Sister tried to get me to go out with her friend. Thinking of testing the waters with her without telling my current gf.
>>34588729Go right for it.
I spent 5 days in jail for attempted burglary back when I was 20. It was a plea deal for trespassing. I'm 40 now. Is there a silver lining to this?
>>34584584Have you tried petitioning to get the charges sealed? If its been 20 years and you've been relatively troubled free, they should at least consider it
>>34584584That's not usually the sort of thing employers get turned off by unless you lied
>>34584608Nostalgia? For what?
>>34587989Virginia doesn't do that. Your record remains open for everyone.
>>34588106That was a period of time I wish I could go back to.
ill be graduating in a year. i come from a no-name school that barely has any internships. i have to teach myself any of the actual skills i need. im seriously considering giving up and finishing the degree just because.say it fails. what trade should I learn? im thinking either firefighter or a military chaplain because i like helping people. electrician maybe sounds nice but i hate blue collar jobs because i used to be a cart pusher for a grocery store that treated me like shit. i can still feel the damage in my knees and now have permanent tan lines. id prefer jobs that have nice work-life balance so i can see my kids if i ever have any and that are always employable so i can fuck around and go travelling and still come back to a job.
>>34583589If you're considering the military anyway, I would consider being an officer. Only requirement over just being enlisted is that you need a degree. Where it comes from and what it's in is basically irrelevant. The nice thing about being an officer is that you actually get money, and still get all your usual military benefits. I think the starting pay is around 60 or 70 grand with the potential to make about 200k. Plus after 20 years you can retire and they'll pay you your entire salary as a pension for the rest of your life, so you can be making 200k a year doing jack shit at 42 if you play your cards right. It's what I would've done if I didn't get medically DQ'd due to suicidal ideation.
>>34586966>Only requirement over just being enlisted is that you need a degreedo you actually believe that? you will be competing with other candidates that did ROTC and have STEM degrees with 4.0 GPAs and some might already be veterans. ive considered this route before but i think people make it out to be easier than it seems
>>34587146I do believe that because that is 90% of officers in the army, and no, you are not really competing with the 4.0 GPA types because those guys scored a six figure job in the civilian world straight out of college. At least give it a shot is what I'd say, if you have a degree, and you did OK on the ASVAB, they're not gonna turn you down from OCS.
>>34583684they're actually not now that claude code is more expensive than juniors
i am a vp of eng. cs degrees are still useful, as much as they were before. you learn more in 1 year of work than 4 years of school. programming is dead but software engineering lives and is more important now. find a job or some way you can use ai every single day. surround yourself with good people. seek them out
>started dating girl who agrees with me politically and was a virgin(we are both over 30, I am not a virgin). >She used to be really fat but lost weight but she's still fairly pudgy and she's pretty short(5'2). I wasn't attracted to her but I went ahead with it anyway since dating is a massive pain and she was interested/we agree on other stuff.We have have done a a lot of kinky sex and I like her in many ways but I don't really feel that attracted to her and I find myself wanting to start talking to new girls on apps.I don't know what to do, I'm starting to get a bit attached + the massive effort related to dating makes me not want to end it, on the otherhand I am not sure if I would be happy in this long term. Maybe if she completed the rest of her weight loss I could stop caring about the height difference but being a foot taller is if nothing else a bit awkward.
>uvg why is every girl a slut and non virgin who does degenerate sex for Chad I just want a non whore!
>>34588967Before we had sex I asked her multiple times if I was the one she wanted to lose it to and she said yes. We both got STI tests too(an actual full panel).My past exs were more attractive.
>>34588991OK? You used up a girl you aren't even attracted to and are thinking about leaving. You're a vampire.
>>34588995Nigga, I didn't say anything about marrying her. In fact I explicitly asked her if our relationship doesn't work out if she is going to regret having sex with me, multiple times. My attraction to her is meh, if she gets to a lower body weight she could be pretty attractive I guess.
in 2025 i would say fat girls can never lose weight and will always be fat. in 2026 this has changed with glp-1. she may have a chance
How do I not accidentally harm myself?
it’s pretty easy m8
I have hard autogynephilia, low dominance, and no desire to transition. Did anyone in a simmilar situation find a way to maintain romantic relationships with women?
>>34588849I jacked off to asian "men" a lot while also dating women and fucking women.agp finally left after 4 years.I still jack off to asian "men" but I feel like it's winding down now.t. almost 30
