>Have early childhood sexual encounter>Get self-insertion fetish for shota>Woman on shota>Trap on shota>Futanari on shota>Male pokemon on shota>Decide that I need to get rid of this attraction out of the guilt it has on my mind and the disgust I have for myself>Stop visiting AO3>Make it a goal to minimize my exposure to porn altogether>Avoid hentai sites>Hide sexual threads on boards like /v/ and /co/>Delete my AI chatbots account>Try my best to repress my sexual urges>My desire to see the shit I am embarrassed about skyrockets and is harder than ever to ignore>Usually get so horny that I compromise by wanking to solo content of normal looking womenComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34526612>what they would think about me a good therapist will think you're just coping with trauma, and that you need to either move past it somehow or develop coping mechanisms that don't make you feel ashamed.>and what might they say to someone elsetherapists risk losing their job forever whenever they break confidentiality. I've heard in some places they can even catch criminal charges for it.
>>34527020Keep in mind Therapists can and in fact legally must report things if they think that their patient is at risk to harm children.
>>34527027he clearly isnt going to act on any children though, that isnt the nature of his trauma and isnt the conclusion point a therapist would draw. At least from what he's said there is zero reason to assume that. He'd be more likely to do age regression sex play before going for a kid, it just doesn't line up with his trauma and how he draws pleasure from it.
>>34527006Yeah, and I probably remember you since you seem to be talking about the stuff that an anon posted that stuck with me. >>34527020I just got signed up for therapy. It's completely unrelated to what I am going through but I hope I can somehow find out if I feel comfortable talking about this stuff. I might break the ice by talking about my early sexual childhood experience
I feel bad for you and I hope you can get better
I'm 37 and I'm a failure and it's too late for me to turn shit around. I'll be poor until I die. I have no reason to believe that things will improve no matter how hard I try. Unless I am proven wrong, I am killing myself on my 40th, just to not be a burden on others as I get older because things will get worse. If things do get better, I won't but that is extremely unlikely. Every job I've had, I've been a good performer...then they find out I am damaged from autism. After that, I am no longer a top performer, and any chance of making more money goes out the window. I've never made more than $31K a year before taxes. Any advancement has been in name only. I was a supervisor at one point, but I never supervised anyone, in fact I was the only person who worked in that department. I tried going to college, had to drop out because of financial issues. The entire thing was a mistake, now I am paying for it. I got A+ and Network+ Certifications and they ended up expiring because no employer recognized it, most places that picked up the phone told me that they needed me to have a bachelors to even look at a help desk, plus programming knowledge. I risked getting fired trying to get them and I ate 1 ramen meal a day for a few months to afford it. I can't do trades because I was hurt at work and now I am in a wheel chair, which further limits job prospects for me. Basically any job I can get will be replaced by AI at some point. I lost my last job to restructuring because they are going balls deep into AI and Indian labor. Thing is, people have told me ever since I was a kid that I'm stupid and worthless. Being young, I basically told them to fuck off and tried to prove them wrong. In the end, they were right. I was smart to not have kids, because I'm barely feeding myself at this point.
Furthermore, as long as you judge improvement by getting promoted a few levels in a corrupt system, you'll be dissatisfied.My guess and perhaps I'm wrong is that the system is going to collapse in ways that seemed unimaginable a few years ago. It will make the collapse of the USSR look like a blip.I'm unironically learning to farm. When all's said and done, I hope I can live like the Irish monk on Skellig Michael island following the collapse of the Western Roman Empire. Watching this documentary solved my depression and I recommend watching it to give some perspective.https://youtu.be/DMpoGi1MckQ?t=690
>>34526518Record profits according to the masturbatory company meetings we had to attend every quarter. They handle insurance for tons of companies.
I thought I would apply for an electrical apprenticeship. I know about wiring, I know the code. I am mobile enough where I can move from my chair to the floor and crawl in crawl spaces. Pictured are my closest apprenticeship learning centers, and the red circle is an approximate 30-45 minutes away from my house.
OP here. I am interviewing for a job next week for a Tool and Die maker job apprenticeship which includes paid community college. I likely won't get it because of my age, but I am trying.
>>34525303Hello autism wheelchair anon.I'm sorry to hear about your situation.Having autism is going to fuck you over, but I think people are more likely to immediately notice and judge you based on the wheelchair.Like you said, it'll also block you from certain jobs. Anything desk based is going to be a target for AI.I know you tried finding a job in IT and didn't have much luck, but I'd try again.Make a LinkedIn if you haven't already and post every skill or qualification you can. Make them up even. You can probably still list A+ and Net+ even though they lapsed, as long as it gets you the interview. They likely won't check and even if they do just say oops I didn't notice.LinkedIn might get you a few recruiter messages. Even if they're shit 3 month contracts they can lead to new opportunities.You can also try reaching out to recruiting companies with your resume, but I'm not sure how successful that will be.Programming is a target for AI replacement but it will be nice to have on your resume. Ironically AI is also a good tool to learn programming. Look up popular programming languages and scenarios for IT and do some free online training courses. Pirate books even. Chatgpt and the like can help break down some concepts and help with roadblocks if needed.Finally, it's a meme idea but have you considered going full DEI hire and flaunting your wheelchair/autism? There's a website called abilityJobs that posts for people with disabilities. I'm not sure how good it is but if megacorps need to hit quotas you can help fill them.
How do you meet women in your 30s? I’ve been going to board game nights, but I’ve only met autistic bros there. I had a similar experience when volunteering, it was only people over 50. I’ve also tried dating apps, but I couldn’t even get a date. What other options do I have?
>>34526319>>34527477I’m turning 33 in September. It’s over isn’t it? My last girlfriend (who was 23) dumped me by cheating on me. Last one before that was my age but it didn’t work out after 2 years. I’m so fucking screwed.
>>34529783When I turned 33 I met a woman socially and we started dating, she just turned 32, so there was a lot of pressure because she wanted to be a mom. We eventually broke up for other reasons but if you don’t want kids you probably have Better options.
>>34529750I broke it off with hershe was very sadI couldn't commit to someone with red gums and just bad oral hygieneHappened before with a slim Korean girl too. She ate a lot of candy kek
>>34526227Go to nearby cities and explore the downtown areas, there is lots of attractive single women. Just look for things happening in those places. I went to a comic con in pic related but while I was waiting for my bus to go home. I noticed lots of attractive women many of them single most likely walking around, there were many couples as well.
>>34529783>zoomettes don't respect millenialswell well well.But you guys will be fine since you are BVLLS amiright?
Want to die, etc etc. Bought a whole bottle of Diphenhydramine. I have some leftover vodka on top of the fridge. What're the odds I actually die after taking both bottles? I've heard stories of people surviving with severe brain damage, and I'd like to avoid that if possible.
>>34529398It's a psyop to keep you alive.
>>34529382I've never heard of anyone dying from that interaction. Some people have died from it, but it was probably elderly who already have weaker respiratory systems. It will suck to be drunk and on benadryl, though, you'll feel really out of it and dizzy. Also, call a suicide hotline or smth
>>34529413I believe it>>34529421Already tried. I'm sure the job is hard but the dudes on those lines are like bots
>>34529382you need at least 8 more bottles of benadryl. don't buy them all in the same place
This particular interaction is extremely unlikely to kill you. Alcohol tends to pump your stomach. And secondly, DPH is a horrific trip. It's going to cause these weird and unsettling hallucinations that are likely to not be seen as hallucinations. It's very creepy and weird and like a living nightmare. You get the shakes and are sort of drunk but not drunk. It's a really really bad feeling. I don't recommend it. And secondly, there's tons of help out there. Why not choose to live? What's stopping you from trying to solve your problems in life?
How do I not blow my brains out after being unable to get a hard on and lose my virginity with the girl of my dreams? I made her cum a bunch in other ways but I could see the look of disappointment my limp dick gave her. And she sure tried to wake him up. And was very nice about it after. But I feel a shame that could last a lifetime. And I worry she’ll never be attracted to me again. It was the first good thing that ever happened to me and now it feels like god playing a cruel joke.
I’ve been kinda spiraling all day over this. Like I wasted the first good thing that’s ever happened to me. I feel like the worst shame in my entire life.
>>34527717Atleast you made it that far.I rejected the girl of my dreams because I am an insecure idiot, then only a few days later, she gave her virginity away to some chubby mid-tier normie a few grades above us.It has been almost eight years and I still feel as if I have severed the thread of prophecy, or ruined my fate or whatever.My advice to you, anon, is keep moving forward and do not chicken out.
>>34527717Just take Cialis and have another go.
>>34527717blow that shit smoove off
>>34528231Hey man just wanted to say this reply made me feel a lot better. Plus I ate good today and have been chubbed up all day thinking about her riding my face and locking her legs around my head when I was fingering and sucking her clit. She has such a pretty pussy too. It was my first time eating a girl out but apparently I’m a natural cause she came a ton and left a huge puddle stain on my sheets. I’ve heard of the stereotype of dudes not giving back but if you’re a man and you don’t love eating pussy there’s something wrong with you or you’re gay. That shit is awesome. Unless you’re fucking some nasty roastie I guess but this girls pussy is literally pristine. Fuck I need her to come here right now.
and I still havent had my first relationship. i mustve lucked out on having the worst circumstances to start a relationship. >live in car-centric LA>cant drive cuz grew up with no parents to teach me>go to commuter college, nobody in my class talks to each other>cant live on my own cuz landlords want you to make 2.5x min wage for insurance>live with family but trying to escape them because they are genuinely terrible people>foreigner so cant relate to most american interests like sports or having tattoosi have some acquaintances here but no actual friends. the only time I ever made friends was when i stayed at a homeless shelter for a bit. i met the realest people there. for some reason, i cant make connections like that anywhere else. i think its because the average person that lives here is genuinely too sheltered that i cant relate to them. i wish i just had a normal life man. id probably have had two marriages by now if I was. even homeless people get girls somehow (probably because theyve given up on society)
LA is a shithole
its not like i havent had opportunities. i worked a retail job last time and I met some younger women who im pretty sure were interested. but i couldnt be interested in them. i have shitty role models for women (mom, aunt, grandma) and always on survival mode because i was former homeless. im too apprehensive to date women if I sense theyre too immature to handle a real emergency situation. sometimes i meet a girl i can be comfortable with but those girls have been through shit too so they decide they dont want to have kids (which I understand) but I want to start a family of my own one day because I dont have one
>>34530121>live in car-centric LAoh shut up Commie faggot. You have never lived in a time easier than today to buy a cheapie car.>cant drive cuz grew up with no parents to teach meyou're almost 30 and can't self teach? Are you retarded?>cant live on my own cuz landlords want you to make 2.5x min wage for insurancemillions of people in the USA manage. Why can't you? Loser.>foreigner so cant relate to most american interests like sports or having tattoosyou're just a SEA retard. You can relate, you're just a gigantic pussy who doesn't talk to people.>i wish i just had a normal life man.you do, you are just too much of a loser to see that your life isn't actually that bad. I know many who will slit throats to be in your position and live in LA. Pathetic. Useless piece of shit you are, OP. Be embarrassed about what you posted here.
>>34530264Seething mutt
>>34530264*sigh* i remember when bait used to be good. this site really has gone downhill
I’ve been dealing with ideation my whole life while being too much of a pussy to follow through. Now I’m almost 30… and I’m tired. I’m hoping 4chan will give me some honest answers instead of spamming me with a retarded hotline that doesn’t help anyone: how does one commit suicide painlessly? What option do yall think is best? I’ll choose a winner after a couple hours. I’m hoping that asking this won’t get my thread removed.
>>34529490>>>Drowning>>One of the most painful ways to go>I know. That's what he asked for. Are you *completely* retarded?Ehh, no, I think that (you) are the only retarded here.>>34526122>how does one commit suicide painlessly?
>>34529490>I know. That's what he asked for. Are you *completely* retarded?Please, apologize and admit to your own stupidity.
>>34526122Gas, you basically just get confused and fall asleep. Still not worth it though, my ex went out via suicide, and left a lot of people with a lot of grief including me 3 years later.
>>34526122gunshot
I was going to partially bury myself in the woods and then off myself while I was basically as hidden as possible. The psych intake nurse who asked me that on a patient history was so stunned she almost dropped her phone and started grilling me with questions trying to figure out if I had been abused growing up. She reacted so strongly it was sort of uncomfortable for me because I didn't think it was that weird. Who would want to be found dead? That's not nice. I wanted to just stop being a burden. It later turns out I was mentally ill and treatment made me not want to care my kill myself anymore
How do I cope with not having a harem? I see chads with 4-5 girls (sometimes more) dotinh on them...meanwhile, I've never even been on a date.
>>34524695I can't imagine trying to keep up with more than 2 girls. Let alone 4-5.
>>34529516>impossibleThere's that word I never used again. Why even bother explaining this shit again? I already addressed all that in the comment you're replying to. Read and comprehend. Fuck. Public school zoomer retard.>the only way to cope about feeling bad for not being able to get a harem is actively work on getting one. What did you want me to say? Poor OP is a little bitch and cant get a harem? Cope by relentlessly masturbating at home? Go fuck yourself pussyRetard. Have him face reality that he needs to aim for more realistic goals for relationships than try to be the top 0.01% of dudes who can have 5 women at once. This is the equivalent of the 35 year old obese roastie being told if she just acts like a 10/10 she'll pull Tom Cruise or whatever the fuck foids go for these days. The first step is acknowledgement and acceptance of reality. Seriously why do you even give advice? Why do you think your opinion is worth anything. Low IQ retard idiot over here.
>>34529824>Have him face reality>the top 0.01% of dudes who can have 5 women at once>The first step is acknowledgement and acceptance of realityget a load of this Boomer trying to give advice as a retarded loser. Absolutely pathetic. Real incel shit. Yeah, why even try anyway OP? Just give up like this faggot says KEK
>>34529618There's nothing to keep up with
>>34529824You're taking this way too seriouslyAnd there are no goals. You get what you get or you cheat.
JUST DISCOVERED THE BEGINNINGS OF A BALD SPOTWHAT THE >>>FUCK<<< DO I DO???!?!?!?!!!!
>>34528701These are your final hours if you don't have a gf yet who you're gonna waifu.If you have one, propose now.Time keeps marching on. If you're balding, you are bottom tier and can only get bottom tier girls from now on.
>>34528701Roidmaxx NOW
>>34528735>finasterideWhat's the point of having hair if he is gonna go limp?
>>34528955Meanwhile, in reality, nobody cares about your hair.
>>34528970The incidence of ED with Finasteride is basically the same as without.
And just found out I am part jewish. How do I reconcile my political ideology with my ancestry?
>>34527080>Also his face looks very GermanYou must be joking. His skull was definitely not a German skull, neither Goebbels' skull
>>34529381Ok sorry he looks Austrian then. I guarantee you I have watched more WWII documentaries than you and I can tell you the Hitler not being a full blooded Aryan is something the allies made up to boost morale or something.
>>34526937Dude you could be 100% jewish and I would be fine with you as long as you join me in rebellion against Z.O.G.
>>34526937Try 30%.>tfw>>34529366>1 jewish great grandparent (1/8, 12.5%) was a 2nd degree mischling1 Jewish grandparent was. If it was 1/8, you were just considered German without being a practicing Jew
Someone should post that picture about /pol/ actually being a community of self-hating Jews.
I am currently trying to find a method of thinking that makes me do things, without the necessity of an output measure weighing me down. As in, not having a constant numerical goal pressure me into doing something (most likely just making me avoid it)Essentially I suffer through long periods of inactivity with my hobbies, just allowing myself to mindlessly doom scroll or masturbate insteadBut, I recently realized that putting down distractions makes your mind clearer (duh) and gives me time to do thingsSome things I sort of naturally do but others I don’tBut the thing is, I’m trying to more so focus on identity as motivation than outputWhat I mean is, I don’t want to feel like I have to write something, or read, or watch, etcThere shouldn’t be a responsibility involved it’s just something I doThat being said however it feels a bit aimless to not have a clear goal or schedule or routine, there’s nothing really driving me towards doing anything outside of in the moment instinctsI find that this would lead me to leave a lot of things I wanna do, more importantly don’t realize I wanna do by the wayside while I focus on one thing or worse eventually go back towards distractionsAll I can think of is doing things daily but I know that’s wrong, even weekly quotas feel wrong and inorganic like they would only make me feel pressure, but I don’t know a means of staying on track with things without having some sort of measure in placeCan anyone give me some suggestions towards thisIf you need more clarity please ask or bitch at me I wrote this before sleeping so it isn’t the best quality
>>34528579Nope that’s not right at all I’m just replying cause why not
>>34528589Well keep torturing yourself until you realise that i was right
>>34528756Why would you be right when you said something with zero proof or reasoning skills applied
>>34528934based, own that faggot
>>34528934Zero reasoning skills? It's plainly obvious you shouldn't do what you don't want to do.You're asking us how you can keep torturing yourself. That's really dumb.
"My entire bloodline only existed to create me, I am the greatest member of my lineage. And I will prove it with this life ive been given." This is the mindset you and I need to get with.
>>34527960>he can't exert basic agency in his life without weaving an essay of self-deifying SNCA cope to justify it>he punches the walls in his mom's basement when life proves he isn't, in fact, a mage-philologer-conqueror-geometer-boyscout leader-ascendant-archon or whateverHave you tried not being raped?
>>34527983you will never be a woman, hi discordtrannies
I am glad to have gotten you all in a positive and motivated mood. Allow me to further shine the rays of my wisdom upon thine balding heads:bro you gotta maintain eye contact bro bro carry yourself with confident brobro drink plenty of water brobro skip cardio brobro do deadlifts brobro just smile more brobro sun your balls brobro wake up at 4 am brobro organic foods brobro vitamin stacks brobro whey protein brobro chest out shoulder back brobro just internalize your locus of control broComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34527798don't shit talk bidets
>>34526449In some ways it's true because my bloodline will end with me
America seemed very cucked on age gaps. I don’t see anything wrong with 10+ year age gaps, but people here freak out over even a few year age differences now.
are you romani?you can get a 19 year old gf wherever you are but if you go to romania to get something you can't get over here you will be honey potted and robbed at absolute best
>>3452946819 is legally acceptable, but socially shunned. “You seriously go for barely legal girls, bro?” That mindset doesn’t exist in Eastern Europe. Age of consent is also lower in most European countries. For some reason, Americans seem to think it’s 18 in every state but it’s actually 16 in most states, so they call you the p word if you date under 18
>>34529459>cucked on age gapsIf all you care about is a hole to fuck then yes an age gap doesn’t matter. If you care about having a partner who is actually your intellectual and emotional equal then you probably want someone closer to your (mental) age. Which could also be 19 even at 45
>>34529459>people freak out over age differencesthats because you spend your time online instead of talking to real women. women do not care about age gaps. some might make a show of seething but when presented with a guy they really want those opinions change very quickly. go find a chicana or any girl that works retail, they dont care about age.
>>34529793>Which could also be 19 even at 45literally me I'm 34 and connect with an 18 year old like I'm talking to a mirrorjust confirming that I am emotionally and mentally stuntedbut at least by the time I hit 40 I'm sure I'll be more mature haha :)
So I keep hearing killing yourself over a woman is among the dumbest reasons to do it, but after 3 years of incredible emotional pain because of one (which reopened a then 12yo wound from another woman I was trying to ''get over with'') I feel like it is the ONLY valid reason to do it.I only recall being told that it is because they are replaceable but thats bs.
>>34499217Yeah you've gotten yourself into a very sad state I refer to as "the loop". You're putting negative in and of course you're getting negative out. You have to bring positivity into your life before you actually do something stupid as fuck. First of all, don't even look for another women. That's what a lot of people do and they're worse off for it. Until you can find inner peace and be happy by yourself, you will never, I repeat, NEVER, be able to be happy in a relationship or make the other person happy. That's the first step, learning to love yourself and be happy by yourself. Now, beware, this step CAN BE taken a little too far so that you become too comfortable alone but that's a whole different set of problems that you shouldn't worry about right now. I'm assuming you don't have children? That is essential. Having children made my overall happiness increase by about a gigaton. Probably tenfold.
>>34518119I don't know I have been going to the gym for almost 2 years now, a lot of people (dudes) compliment my looks and I modified my diet a bit but that doesn't seem to increase it
Who the fuck kills himself over a foid
>>34519850Thank you.
>>34499217I’m an incel. Only had sex once with a prostitute. I’m still probably not gonna kill myself unless I end up homeless or in prison. I might kill myself in my 40s because by then I can at least say I’ve given life a proper shot. I’m only 26 now so whatever. But yeah, life does kinda suck and I do think about suicide pretty often. I don’t even have friends, let alone a girlfriend. Whatever.
Hi all,My question today is about an idea I've had about myself posing nude for a portrait (I pay for it) from a female artist, I have a female friend that used to do art often for themselves, and without making them feel awkward or pressured, I would like to ask them if they would know anyone who is taking commissions and would be comfortable painting/drawing a nude portrait of myself for like a session or two, as I would like to do this, kind of a bucket list type of thing. It is a cfnm situation and I don't want to do the wrong thing by getting a boner, but just doing this would be a really great experience and I would enjoy it looking back. My friend is sort of ambiguous about their sexuality, haven't asked in a while so not sure if it would make them feel uncomfortable if I asked them if they would like to do it, although I'd be happy if they would like to as well. Not sure where to go from here, or what way to ask, in person or casually on text or to put an ad up where I know they would see (my instagram story). I dunno, we're both early 20's.Conversely, my older neighbour is a lady, is nice to me and I've helped her out with some jobs over the years, I was thinking of asking her if she would be interested in teaching me some Tai Chi, which she does, but if I could be naked while we do it, or if she is interested in art and doing something similar to what I mentioned up top. Yeah, well you guys get the gist, thanks for reading if you made it this far.
