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I had to turn down a girl yesterday because she was not attractive to me and I didn't like a lot of things about her personality.

Am I a bad person?
3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
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>>32740625
Is the grass always greener?
>>
>>32740625
What didn't you like about her personality
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>>32740893
She reminded me of everything I hate in a person. Checked off all the boxes.
>>
>>32741434
You're a bad person because you talk in generalities. Are you trying to make the most boring thread ever?
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>>32741494
No, I'm just here to anger you for being nosey.

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Someone please tell me how the fuck I'm supposed to make friends I'm so fucking lonely it's killing me

In the last 12 months I've tried a book club, a sport club, art class, cooking class, hiking club. These were all weekly, and I'd try my hardest to talk to people dispite being shy, I'd force myself to ramble about myself or try to empathise. Dispite this, every single conversation I have with people is polite and surface level, I am extrmely out of touch with what a normal conversation is thanks to a lifetime of speaking to nobody to my teacher or my father, there is never a connection made, or a smile shared, the activity just ends and we all go our separate ways, I've never been invited to anything else and the few times I've tried to directly send an invitation to go do something else is shrugged off

Someone please just sit down with me on this and help me try to understand what is happening because I'm genuinely on the cliff edge of suicide
>>
>>32741422

you don't love yourself so why would anyone else. when you learn to love yourself, you will be fun to be around. easy as
>>
>>32741422
you probably missed the gap where you ask acquaintances at your clubs to get lunch or go to the gym with you. everyone is afraid of everyone else, and it seems that my most successful friendships are because one of us bothered to take initiative to progress the friendship.

seldom will things HAPPEN TO YOU

KEEP TRYING. YOU CAN DO IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN

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If you avoid confrontation and try to be patient, calm, educated and polite people get worse, they become even more of an asshole.
If you show your strength and put them in their place then you are the bad guy. They will go around talking shit about you and women will play the victim card and say that you are violent to them.
How do i get out of this conundrum?
3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>32740514
>They dont get you results with people.
Skills issue
>>
>>32740514
Example 1
>I am a thin skinned little bitch and a shitty manager. My English is shit, too
Example 2:
>I assaulted a man and wonder why people think I am a nut job
Example 3:
>I was a whiny little bitch
FFS, the odds of any of that actually happening is -20%, too
>>
>>32740679
>>32740673
You pretend to be superior somehow but you cant even give a better response to the examples. Dont qualify the answer if you dont have a better one.
>>
>>32740998
Example one: management 101 - Talk to her privately that her behavior is unprofessional and needs to stop. Threatening termination in front of others over banter is a sure way to look like a thin-skinned loser and lower morale.
Example 2: Rather than BREAK THE FUCKING LAW by manhandling a stranger inform him you are in a bigger hurry and talk over him if he doesn't get the hint
Example 3: Grow a pair of balls and stop whining over nothing.

And what shithole 3rd world country is your ESL-writing ass from?
>>
>>32741375
> Grow a pair of balls and stop whining over nothing.
So you are a woman. We dont like women's advice here, is completely useless. Go somewhere else, we are not interested in anything you have to say.

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Is gambling a good use of my spare money? Not all my money, like money that I can afford to lose.
>>
totally useless

the kind of mindset one needs, to make a significant amount of money gambling, is the very same that makes one go broke. just don't
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>>32741523
Okay... What kind of mindset would that be?
>>
>>32741488
no
>>
>>32741568
ok

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I see a lot of anons on this board talk about their negative hangups.

That's not what men do. We build shit. We build civilizations, industry, and relationships, and we teach young anons how we did it. We don't get recognized for doing this, but we do it. It's not easy, but we do it. Few people help us, but we do it. Some have given us trauma, but we do it, and break the cycle.

If you're not building something, you're as good as dead. I'm a cancer survivor of 5 years -- with one nut left -- so I'm playing with a free extra life. Looking back on the times in my first life when I was so negative, and ruminating on internal fears and insecurities, and not moving forward or building, it was basically like I was dead. Years I wasted like that.

Maybe you feel like there's nothing left to build. Or we've built too much. Or you can't build. I say, there is something you can build, so find it. Help someone else build. Do it. Otherwise, why did God give you two balls.
>>
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>>32739562
I find the rate of decay so depressing. How quickly things rust and fall apart. It helps provide the dynamism of reality but also the high cost of maintenance. Even treading water has costs
>>
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>>32739562
Honestly most men would prefer the classic African proverb.
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>>32739700
Even africa has more than one proverb, so not sure what this means. Let's get one positive reply ok thx.
>>
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>>32739562

based. anyone who disagrees has a vagina
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>>32739562
Based.
The simplest advice is:

A) any time spent focusing on limitations IS the limitation
B) any effort towards improvement/change is success

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I've noticed the most common link between moments when I'm lying is that I don't understand why you would tell someone that you did something that you assume or believe they won't approve of or reprimand you for it.

If you think the reaction or feedback will be negative, why "provoke" it? Why not tell people what you assume they want to hear?
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>>32741397
generic thread gets generic responses

Who are you lying to? (gf/work/boss/parents/kids ? ) What did you do wrong?

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my old thread >>32698377

The girl I’m dating is going through some tough family/personal issues and has terrible texting habits (her words).

For context, I come from an old relationship where we were basically texting every day and every hour, so this sounds insane for me. In the old relationship, when stuff like that happened was after a bad argument, to "punish" me and force me to find stuff to apologize for, so now I'm kind of rewinding the date in my head and I'm going insane.

Our first date was great, but then she disappeared for a week. After I wrote the old thread, she eventually reached out explaining what happened, and the next day we went on an amazing second date, wandering the city from 8 PM to 5 AM, doing bar hopping, taking cozy walks, laughing, listening to music and having deep conversations. We even made future plans, like going to a concert together. That was last Saturday. Since then, I haven’t heard from her at all, she hasn’t even been active on Telegram (where we usually talk). My last message was on Tuesday. I don't want to be clingy by texting her again, but she admitted that when she is facing some hard stuff she isolates from everyone.
>>
On top of everything: given the toxic pattern of my old relationship, I'm scared that this new girl will eventually reach me out again just to end everything suddenly

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How do I get a fuck buddy? I’m too unhealthy to maintain a relationship, but it seems like most women are put off by “fuck buddies”?
3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>32741199
It’s always virgins who tell other people this kind of advice on women.
>>
>>32741225
I gave OP actual advice. You didn't.
>>
>>32741360
>not denying it
Self report + I accept your concession.
>>
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>>32741127

No it isn't. No one thinks it's cute when a woman has a chronic illness you spazwad.

Newsflash, a fuckbuddy is a relationship. It's just a casual relationship, but they always either apiral into drama because one person gets more attached than the other or they just progress into a serious relationship. It's not some magical thing where people randomly just have sex with anyone and attraction, or emotions, or any other normal human traits don't apply.
>>
>>32741368
>still doesn't give advice

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ITT we ask the opposite gender (almost) anything!

But note that the following are strictly forbidden:
- Politics posts (take those to /pol/).
- Trolling of any kind (only allowed on /b/).
- Racism (also only allowed on /b/).
- Misogynist (or misandrist!) rants (take those to /r9k/).
- Incel rants. (Again, try /r9k/).
- Discussion of LGBTQ issues (take those to /lgbt/).
- Personal information or pictures of yourself - these are not allowed on /adv/. (If you feel the need to post toonme images, there's a corresponding thread on /soc/ where those are allowed).
- Blog posts. (There is NO good place for these! Just don't.)
- NSFW images. (This is a blue board!)

Please help to keep this thread nice by REPORTING any off-topic, poor-quality, or rule-breaking post that you see!


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
412 replies and 26 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>32741659
Femanon, treating men the same way they treat women is misandrist. Why can't you understand this?
>>
>>32741666
I like how when you read someone basically breakdown how the law works and then you compare it to someone who is calling that person dumb for having a sane opinion, you can't tell the difference and classify both of them as bait.
>>
>>32741659
Imagine getting married lmao
Lol
heh
....
;_;
>>
>>32741658
I can't tell if this is bait because I've been around enough people that actually feel this way.
While my immediate thought is that it would be simply based if you were to be torn apart by rabid sewer rats, the one I'm going to go with is that I hope you're in a situation where you're able to see it from a different perspective.
Faggot.
>>
>>32741659
Its called marriage fraud and there's already a bill in the house to prevent women from getting half of a man's stuff to up to 10 years regardless if they have kids or not. About damn time too.

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I have dandruff or something in my ass. What do? I tried 2 different anti-fungal creams, and 1 anti-dandruff shampoo, nothing works. Considering talking to a doctor with an app for $10 tomorrow.
>>
>>32737720
sounds like anal leakage due to initial stages of AIDS
I'm sorry anon.
>>
>>32737720
You want to use Selsun Blue and specifically the one with salicylic acid. It'll say it on the bottle.
>>
Doctor will recommend more antifungals and shampoos, guaranteed
>>
Started using the app, but it asked a fuckton of unrelated datamining questions. I deleted it. I guess I'll just keep trying different stuff. Also you had to email the app to delete your account, fucking annoying, I didn't bother, just uninstalled it.
>>
When I had dandruff on my head I used lemon juice and it got rid of it, you should try that in your ass

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Publishing is mostly out because the industry is filled with neurotic HR cat ladies and cucks formerly funded by USAID. Teaching sounds miserable, and I never specialized in it, so I’d have to continue school for a teaching program. So what else is there?

Any suggestions?
[spoiler]>inb4 you’re SOL![/spoiler]
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>32741055
Why would you get such a useless degree man? I don’t know, but apply to jobs and see what the degree gets you.
>>
>>32741066
>teacher assistant at preschool
I’d rather work at fucking grocery store.
>Librarian assistant
Yeah ig. Not exactly livable wages though. Any generic office job would probably pay better.
>ESL tutor
Thought about this. Not sure how well I’d do as a tutor, or how to go about finding and charging people.

>>32741084
I was stupid when I was fresh out of high-school, and I liked reading and writing. In an ideal world, it wouldn’t be a problem. But I never considered just how bloated this field was until I got closer to grad. I do plan to just put things out there and hope I find something that works. Based on my experience while interning at a small magazine and networking among students and graduate “professionals”, I can confidently say that there are some real nepo-idiots out there with jobs they shouldn’t have. My chances are at least the same since I’m probably more talented than the vast majority, but disadvantaged for having a “chud” worldview.
>>
>>32741152
>I’d rather work at fucking grocery store.
No you won't
Work for small newspapers
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>>32741171
That wouldn’t be so bad in theory. Maybe most of my problems would be solved if I just moved to a less liberal city.
>>
Bump

Journalism major here. Found out too late I hate journalism.

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A friend was wronged by a mother in my neighborhood. She was verbally harrassed, threatened ICE, then threatened to claim abuse of her baby if legal action is pursued. I have her facebook, no father in the picture. I cant let her know any action I take is a result of my friend and what happened to her. How do I ruin this persons life? No idea where they work
>>
>>32741471
Are they there illegally?
>>
no but it was enough to scare them because they are making cash so under the table. i have to do something
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>>32741487
You're a piece of shit and so is your scumbag whore friend
I hope ICE deports you both

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I have and earn a good amount of money. How do I get women to know about this?
7 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
I remember a dentist in california who told his dates he worked in construction, until he vetted them for a few months.
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>>32737694

The best first date is McDonald's. Only the real ones play.
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>>32735621
how much are we talking
>>
>>32735621
She is beautiful, that bald fuck is lucky.
>I have and earn a good amount of money
You shouldnt have to let them know, having your life sort it out should make you approach them with confidence and things fall in place from there
>>
>>32735621
>I have and earn a good amount of money. How do I get women to know about this?
Non terrible ways:
Go to expensive bars and restaurants, the women there use the place as a filter for broke niggas
Travel to interesting or exotic places and get pictures with you for instagram

>Get diagnosed with ulcerative colitis
>Can’t eat beef, alcohol or dairy products
>Few weeks later have bad shoulder pain
>Find out it’s from an old injury where my shitty doctor at the time said I only “sprained it”
>MRI shows it needs to be operated on to be fixed
>After the surgery spend weeks in an arm sling
>Lose all muscle mass on my body
>Sling comes off, done with the “recovery” process but still cannot rotate the shoulder fully
>Feel like a weak and fat piece of shit
>Keep getting told it will eventually get better
>It’s been 8 months
The sad voices in my head are getting worse. I can’t enjoy food anymore and I can’t do any physical activity due to the injury. I get so stressed out that I cause the ulcerative colitis to flare up and start shitting blood. I get horrible bouts of fatigue from it. It’s made my life absolute hell as I have to eat a strict diet now that is bland, boring and expensive. I keep having dreams about being able to eat steak or have french onion soup. I have cried myself to sleep on a few occasions because of it asking God to cure me.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take. It can be so painful sometimes that I start getting dark thoughts if I am in the middle of a flare up.
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>32740374
I dont eat alcohol,beef,dairy as a choice, how is it so bad? You can still eat a lot of good meals. Your entire condition wouldnt change my lifestyle and i love it lol
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>>32740374
its going to get better. I have had to recover from a few major injuries/surgeries and YES - the recovery *sucks*.
One of my issues meant I was forbidden to exercise AND had to take steroids AND was told not to diet too much because I had to rebuild soft tissues for two years. I went from effectively pro-athlete fit to 385 lbs real damn fast. When I got down to 170 and was on my way to feeling good again?
Next major issue,.
BUT! that's over. I got the weight down, I got the strength back., Yes, I lost some capabilty and range of motion, yes I ave some chronic pain, but I am miles better than right after.
You'll be a lot better in about a year, stick with it
>>
>>32740471
Two reasons.
He obviously likes those things.
I have a friend who is a priest - he has given up all romantic relationships. Does that mean if YOU were medically forced to never have relationships with people YOU should just smile and enjoy it?
Yes or no question.
Second,m ulcerative colitis means pain and discomfort all the time, too
>>
>>32740440
Please take your coombrained shit back to r*ddit
>>32740471
Take something that you like and suddenly make it poisonous to you. Now imagine you have it sprinkled through things you never thought it would be. That bread you got at the Italian restaurant? Butter was brushed onto it. The vegetable soup you got at the vietnamese place? Turns out the broth was beef based.

Imagine the pain of having someone detonate small firework crackers in your bowels for three days straight. Thats what it feels like when I have a flare up. It is unbelievably painful.
>>32740493
I was not given steroids thankfully. I am going to the Orthopedic surgeon again in a few days to have another follow up. Hopefully everything is fine but I just need him to tell me it is. I don’t want to discover I need another surgery because the surgeon I saw accidentally messed something up.

>a year
Is it going to be a full year you think?
>>
>>32740374
Mullein capsules. What did they rx you for meds as treatment?

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How do I get over my intense fear of women? Any time I see a girl, I think about how my life will permanently and fundamentally change from starting a family and I just completely avoid interacting to them. And before anyone says that I shouldn't worry about something so far in the future, that's the entire point of a relationship so there's no point even talking to them in the first place if I'm not planning to eventually marry them.
>>
>>32740938
How old are you.
Do you have a job / career path yet.
>>
>>32740964
late 30s
I make a good, stable income (own a home, etc)


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