Be honest with me, is being 27 too old to find love?
>>34966559it was brutal, the girls were all super FOIDs and it was literally a winner take all market no inbetween whatsoever, i moved to another state and started getting matches with non fatties on dating apps like night and day but now im unemployed so dating is out again since dating a woman is pay walled
>>34965110I found love earlier this year at 28.
Bump
That's considered an optimal age.
>>34965110at that age, you're allowed to go for women aged 23-31women 25 or above are all taken, just go after the 23-24 year old girls
What is /htdg/?How to Date General is by anons, for anons, about the modern dating landscape. So bring all of your questions about dating here. Some anons on this site actually get partners and laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date people, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro. >What is /htdg/ not? These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, femlcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, pinkpillers or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating people is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htdg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM! >How to ask for advice Context is important: be more specific than "I got ghosted, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, someone was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with them? How long have you known them? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question. >Resources and Books https://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach) https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34974106>Most I can recommend is find some local meet ups or hobby groups, even give in to trivia night because shit like that still beats sitting at home. If all else fails, try even starting your own groups and see who turns up.Yeah, I also recommend pottery, mini-golf...hahahahaha bro shut upDating apps are simply better and you can find women who align with you. Kids, politics, age, etc etc all the eliminatory info is there before you even meet the person.You go on some "trivia night" shit and waste time on a single mom... fuck off.
How do you approach the 6 month mask off phase? Do you remain optimistically detached? Does the honeymoon phase just not apply to you?It seems like for me that around that time for me things start going downhill. The chemistry at the beginning is always good, we have talks about our future plans which we usually agree on, we leave each other spent in bed, we generally get along quite well, but I can't seem to find a genuine person. It seems to regularly come up that they were dishonest about something that I don't have a feasible way of vetting for. >changed my mind! I don't want kids.>changed my mind! I wanna go poly.>changed my mind! I'm gonna cheat.>changed my mind! I need to find myself.>etc.I'm fun to be around for the first few months, but they either have some other shit going on or get bored even though I present myself consistently. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
>>34974263Sucks to suck lol
>>34974272That's a bit of a hard one. There are a lot of variables that can go in to that. It could just be simply bad luck. At the same time it could be you are subconsciously choosing people based off a type of attachment style you have. How do these people act around you and how do you feel around them? I have a long video that deep dives in to that but it might be worth watching a bit too see if maybe the genral personality you go for leads why you keep picking fickle women.https://youtu.be/FAzsArI7QJo?is=zsoWMYZlziWUd1Zv
>>34974433Initially we start of friendly, we share space and get to know each other passively, eventually they show some kind of attraction to me and one thing leads to another, there. I try to go for women who seem to think for themselves, they could be artistic, spiritual, or some other alternative niche, but the typical soon to be Facebook mom just doesn't intrest me in the slightest. It's not necessarily like I'm looking for a shrew to tame, though I do like the tomboyish type, just someone sincere and thoughtful. Unapologetically themselves and want to share that picture frame with me, as I do them. They always present themselves passionately that way, but it just falls apart. I'm not a saint or perfect by any stretch but I own myself, too. When we're in public or private they seem initially excited to see me when I'm around and openly affectionate. We can smile, laugh, joke, or chill, and just enjoy each other's company. I can't even tell you how often they've felt so at ease with me that they just pass out in my lap before waking up all affectionate again. I've normally felt pretty comfortable up until things change on the other end, and most recently I felt pretty anxious for a few months about her behavior at that point. I clocked that this was going to happen again, but decided to ride it out a little just in case it's me projecting trauma, but I was disappointed again. She moved like a cheater, assured me everything was fine, then all but verifiably cheated. Plausible denyablity and all that, but all the other signs were there before she moved on to another guy within a couple days of saying I love you for the last time.
I don't know how the world works anymore. I don't know what living is about.I got bullied and survived, I studied and passed, I got a job and I had no use for the money. Now seeing the account get drained I know I need money, I need to eat and pay the time wasting entertainment. My family disbanded and now I'm alone. Wherever I go I'm no more than a nice stranger and it stays like that even if I keep hanging about. All gets compounded since I don't find anything fun anymore, I have nobody to share with and sharing is like 40-60% of the shit so it loops.I used to love games, anime, etc. The fuck does it matter anymore. All I can think of now is something went wrong along the way, can't keep looking at it, so I think I have to sort my shit out instead. It's been "Sorting shit" mode for years, and it only drives people away and strays farther back from the solution.Shed me a light.
It doesn't help that I listened to a bunch of bullshit early on about being humble, tolerant, stoic and all that bullshit. It seems being a hot cracker asshole ends up working better because it gives you motility instead of doubt and inaction. Can't use that because I feel like betraying myself and hesitate even more.
Mental state isn't real, it's just some rng noise shit your brain generates in a poor attempt to get you to move. Simply bypass the entire bad communication protocol and go run 40 minutes in forest every day.
>>34974289I already do 3 hours at the gym everyday, forests don't exist anymore.
>>34974248inb4> go outside more> go get a job> go workout> take SSRIs> go improve yourself> go do drugs> go kill yourself> go build a social circle"Sorting shit" mode is generally attractive to people, so if you're driving people away, you're probably doing it wrong. Also being stoic isn't so bad, it's just that western society has atomized to a point that excludes stoics by default. That can be resolved by going outside of your comfort zone enough to start relationships, no need to be a hot cracker asshole.If you don't want to kill yourself, the only choice left is to decide what to do with your time. Most people do that by choosing one of the activities I mentioned above. It sounds like you want a gf, so that might be something worth pursuing.
>>34974419Maybe I used the wrong words.By "sorting shit" I meant "I'm an inferior little shit who is bad at everything, so I gotta be better at everything and do everything by myself and don't stop until i'm on expert level" mode. Meaning I'm not proud of anything I have done so far, have nothing to show for it.What you understand for the atteactive to people thing is the "I'm a gung ho go getter, full of enthusiasm with a clear path that goes towards specialization, which will enable me to put down whoever tries to come on top". They are similar because they have a root of competitivity underneath, but one is trying to pick up the broken pieces while the other one is about breaking shit.Stoicism is a prescribed way of life that doesn't necessarily fit everybody. When you try to force it into people it's not for, you get unhappy people who feel bound by fate, when they could have minmaxed for their temperament and end up in a specialized role.I already talk to people and the conversations fall flat and circumstantial. At that point I don't feel enthusiasm, I feel anxious, and I do keep pushing through and try telling personal likes or asking personal question, I haven't found someone who isn't politely dismissive or tries to know more about me, or feels safe to share more.
>dating girl>she wants to marry me>her bodycount is like 5 before me>probably the best I could realistically find, virgins are too rare>it still disgusts me and makes me feel like a cuck to even consider committing to a girl that other men have fuckedHow the fuck do "normies" deal with this feeling?
>>34970987jim halpert would never say that
>>34974405nah women love that
>>34974415
>>34974427aha you fool if women actually loved it then they would be throwing themselves at all the virgin men, thereby neutralizing their virginity
>>34970964Same situation here. She's my first and I'm her 5th or something. I was a 25/yo khhv before her and now I'm 2 years into this relationship.I feel like I've dug myself into a hole I can't get out of. What do I do aside from killing myself bros?
be me>realize the modern dating market is completely cooked and I am on the fast track to dying alone>keep hearing that the literal only place left in modern society to find a decent woman is at church>thinking about infiltrating some local non-Catholic normie churches around me to test this theory>the problem: I grew up in religious schools and was literally trained to be a preacher, but I completely lost my faith and do not believe in the god form of Jesus anymore>going there means I’d have to wear a hardcore mask and fake my entire belief system just to fit into the social circle>but honestly? since I have actual preacher training, my theological BSing and acting skills are top tier>I know all the lore, the vernacular, and exactly how to play the part>is this my time to shine?>is hardcore masking my way into a church community a sociopathic move, or just the only pragmatic survival strategy left?>have any of you anons actually successfully faked it at a church just to get a gf?
>>34959652Don't fake it. You'll just end up miserable in a marriage to a woman who genuinely believes. You might think it's fine now because you're thinkin with your dick, but in the long run it will get old. You will have to choose how to educate your kids, how to navigate conflict, how to do holidays, etc. and you really don't want to enter a relationship built on a lie. Just be honest about it. Maybe look back into choosing to believe and going to church, but don't pretend to believe just to get laid. Won't work out well at all. I have doubts a lot, and a big part of me thinks religion is a scam, but I choose to believe based on hope and the good it's brought me. If you do that, it's fine. But genuine disbelief won't be a good foundation with someone who does.t. married christfag who understands how you feel.
>>34974298Gatekeeping idiot
>>34974331No, you're a retard who doesn't understand the difference between faking belief and doubting. I've watched plenty of guys do exactly what OP is describing. They all ended up bitter divorced 30-somethings because when they had kids or started talking about having kids, dad didn't want to go to church, wasn't being a spiritual leader in the house, etc. and mom decided to bail because she felt that she got scammed. There are plenty of formerly-religious women out there who would probably love OP for being genuine about where he's at and would NOT do what I described.
>>34967609what car are they driving?
>>34959652Religion went downhill when it started including women.
This is a long post but i feel there is much to unpack. I'm (male) atm. making exit plans dated for the 25th of this month. A week after my gf's niece's birthday.Short story of what has been going on. We are both in our late 30s, the relationship has gone on for 9 years. We have had a lot of issues, and i admit a lot of them have been from me.First change in the situation was 5 years or so ago, she started to have this urge that we should put our trash in one of the sinks in the kitchen. At the end of the day or two she made a trashbag and i took it out. Then the time between her making the trashbags got longer and longer... Sometimes she actually cleaned everything up but that has been years now, maybe 2 or 3.Slowly that situation evolved into something much worse. Now there are multiple trash piles in the apartment, especially in the kitchen and bathroom. Papers and newspapers are scattered around. Both sinks (kitchen and bathroom) have been unusable for almost a full year now, and even basic maintenance (like fixing a broken bathroom light) feels impossible because the apartment is in such a state that we can’t realistically invite anyone in. The light in the showerroom, that hasn't worked for a year, also is special and an electrician is needed to change it(it's not just a lightbulb i can change alone). So we use a type of forehead light when we operate there.I wash the dishes using a handwashing bowl and the shower faucet. When i talk about cleaning it all up by myself, she gets angry. Says she must be the one to do it, and she might get a nervous breakdown if i did something to it. I do small, mainly logistic fixes every now and then but even they get her anxious.I’ve adapted to functioning in this environment, but I feel a lot of shame and discomfort about it too. If I had a free choice, I would never live like this.
... And of cource i'm not gonna tell him that i feel like i'm losing my mind, just that everything is fine. Just in case someone misunderstood that.
>>34973223Ngl anon from what you've described she sounds like she could be projecting the narcissist title on you, because her behaviour sounds manipulative and controlling as fuck. Def keep reading through that site though and keep up with the crisis center. Once you start seeing through the manipulation, it becomes a lot easier to deal with and set boundaries until you can get out of there. Also check out a concept called the "grey rock method" until you can make your leave. She likely won't like it but if you can keep your composure and stick with it, it might make things a bit more tolerable in the meantime.
>>34973943I forgot to mention, look into "triangulation", because it sounds like that's what she's trying to do to you by weaponizing your family/friends against you. Narcissistic abusers love to do this to gain control over their victims. Also, check out that "traits" section of that site I mentioned before, specifically. It breaks down a lot of methods of abuse/control and ways you can cope and deal with them, perhaps that could be helpful.
>>34973943>projecting the narcissist title on you, because her behaviour sounds manipulative and controlling as fuck.It sounds that way to me too. But i can't just put all the blame on her. I realized some time ago that healthy boundaries haven't really existed between us for years.I eventually woke up to that, but she still seems to be operating according to our old, fucked-up set of rules and gets angry when the things that somehow used to work aren't working anymore. Now we're both stuck in this mess.Maybe if she had more time and space to step back and think about what's actually happening, she could figure some of this out too instead of just throwing labels around. I hope she gets to that place at some point, after the relationship is officially over. I genuinely wish she could find some peace and happiness, but that's not something i can make happen for her.>Def keep reading through that site though and keep up with the crisis center.Yeah, definitely.>Once you start seeing through the manipulation, it becomes a lot easier to deal with and set boundaries until you can get out of there.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
> > 34973948>I forgot to mention, look into "triangulation", because it sounds like that's what she's trying to do to you by weaponizing your family/friends against you. Narcissistic abusers love to do this to gain control over their victims.Well, she sees my parents as people who could help her get me to reconsider and "realign" the relationship. Maybe at some point that would have worked.I don't think any of it necessarily comes from a malicious intention. But it can still function as a form of control regardless of the intention behind it.I guess one of the more difficult things to accept is that someone can genuinely believe they're helping while still doing something that isn't actually helpful.>Also, check out that "traits" section of that site i mentioned before, specifically. It breaks down a lot of methods of abuse/control and ways you can cope and deal with them, perhaps that could be helpful.Will do. So far i've managed to keep my head, but i do feel like she's constantly testing my boundaries and trying to pull me back into the old dynamic.
I don't want to have a natural dislike towards women. But I do, as a logic-oriented person, they piss me off. They have no regard for logic, safety, responsibility, or consequences, and it frustrates me to hell and back. It makes interacting with them impossible in any meaningful sense of "life" beyond gossip and short talk. How can I not just get angry when I think about women's failure to adhere to logic and reason? The infinite victim complex alone gives me a headache just to think about.
>>34974208Work your mommy issues with your therapist so you can stop being a child.
>>34974208>logic-oriented person>hates womenPick one faggot.You are no better than those hair dyed, ring nosed feminists who claim they hate all men because they are all the same.
>>34974208Oh shut the fuck up. It's so tiring to hear this nonsense over and over again. Your logic is parroting everybody else on this board and basing all your assumptions about reality on the internet and your own experience
>>34974208>They have no regard for logic, safety, responsibility, or consequencesThe fact that they're obsessed with safety and consequences of someone having sex with them is why they're so useless to interact with, you little dumbass.
>>34974208You just have to find the right bitch.
How to stop being afraid of taking risks?
>>34967758After not taking a couple of risks the pain of regret will be so ingrained in you that you start taking stupid risks, then you scale it down from there.
>>34967758risk asessment
>>34967758You can't force yourself to not feel fear, but you can choose how you respond to it.Take small and calculated risks.
With risk comes progress. Imagine if you never risked anything and saw your whole life breeze by with no accomplishments. Go take risks for the right outcomes.
>>34967758>just take the risk bro!riskfags end up on liveleak. spend more effort in minimizing potential risks of whatever you are set out to do. consider what is worth doing even at the potential cost
I'm balding at 18. Can this be reversed?
>>34966772Yes 50-100mg of zinc maybe even 200mg sparingly. Gluconate is fine. 25mg as soon as you feel the itch and re-dose 25 mg within 30mins if the itch is still there. You can reverse it. I know i did. Your ancestors had zinc levels so high it was measurable in their teeth. Red meat is a good source but has to be eaten soley and away from any plants as plant chemicals block zinc absorbtion.
>>34966772Believe it or not, it's salvageable but you'd have to act quick, finasteride and minoxidil, I doubt you have the patience or dedication for that though.>reddit filename nevermind
>>34966772
>>34966772If it's this bad, especially at 18, no. Finasteride and rogaine only work when there's a little loss and the loss has happened recently so the follicle is still alive. You're already toast my friend
>>34966772Just shave it and/or wear a hat
How come I never wanted to do anything with my life other than play video games?
This is me but with certain drugs
>>34969349Or OP encountered that but it was temporary, so he includeged back into past activities
>>34967682Because you were sheltered, had shit role models and your parents grew complacent.Kids are supposed to want to get away from their parents and do their own shit, they find an occupation out of necessity to achieve their childish goal, and mature into the role.Kids that grow up wanting to be astronauts and bullshit and never snap out of it yet are never primed into it, end up burning out and getting their shit pushed around.
you also want to routinely open shit threads on adv, don't forget that
>>34967682I gamed, game bad now. Nothing to do now, lay in bed. Grug tired of life, rocks not shiny anymore.
If you've ever been to a hospital and they drew your blood for routine tests and shit, are they like secretly mandated by law to send your DNA to the government so they can have it in a database somewhere?
>>34970020>If you've ever been to a hospital and they drew your blood for routine tests and shit, are they like secretly mandated by law to send your DNA to the government so they can have it in a database somewhere?No, it's sampled by vampires so they can decide who will be their next kill.
>>34970720oh okay that makes sense
>>34970020yes, they make abomination half frog half human looking things out of people's DNA
>>34974306pig... half pig looking thing... as in kermit and miss piggy having sex
>>34970020Weird question.But no. It costs money, resources, and time to sequence someone's DNA. It's not all that expensive, but the government doesn't want to shell out for shit they won't use and hospitals don't either. They would probably have info like>blood type>HIV positive or not>test results for a few autoimmune disorders, etc.>whatever you went to the doctor for in the first placeMore than likely, that would not be your full or even partial DNA. Samples go bad in storage and take up space too, so it's not like they keep your blood in some vault or whatever forever.Besides, if you're suspected of a crime, law enforcement can just roll up to your house and compel you to provide a cheek swab (in jail if necessary). There's well-established precedent for that, so they can get your DNA at any point if they wanted it to check against a blood/semen/hair sample from a crime scene, for example.
I am genuinely tired or sleepy all day. 0 motivation. I don’t even have the energy to sit at my computer to scroll or write stuff. I can’t tell if this is sleep apnea, a loss of lust for life, dopamine memes, or some physical bullshit that just makes me tired at all times. I remember always being like this. After 8 hours of school or work I genuinely couldn’t do anything but lie in bed.VERY RARELY do I manage to walk around and do stuff but if it takes longer than let’s say 5 hours I just get a fever the next day.I have hopes and dreams of writing and I have a nice piece of land I want to improve. But not energy. What are the things I can look into?
>>34970865My blood tests were good. Some vitamin B and D deficiencies which I take supplements for. But nothing that should chain me to bed>>34972067Surely depression doesn’t make one ill after just a bit of exertion? I’ve been depressed before and I felt a difference between not wanting to do things vs lethargy
>>34972109>make one ill after just a bit of exertionMmm I had all of your symptoms.I did a ton of research into the older treatments for depression and lethargy, brain fog, etc.The older treatments for these issues all focused on the gut, not the brain.The root cause of this depression, lethargy and other symptoms was understood to be caused by "sluggish motility", or in other words, poor digestion. Today we would call it "gut dysbiosis"The treatment that works for me is to take digestive enzyme supplements, increased fiber in the diet (or supplements) and occasionally, a laxative. I use magnesium supplements for this.Increased hydration is also helpful. As are probiotics.After adding these, my digestion improved, my energy improved and my lethargy, brain fog and general depressed mood began to lift.The enzymes in particular were the most helpful, they started having immediately noticeable effects.You can buy generic digestive enzyme tablets at any CVS or Walgreens or similar, they are very cheap. But so effective!
>>34972654I'm the depressed anon, not OP but i'll try this. It's possible something is fucked up with my digestion from the years of drinking. Maybe this could help with weight loss too? Hopefully. Today i'm so fucking tired I'm forcing myself to lift weights after midnight because I couldn't do anything all day.
>>34970636>how to fix chronic tirednessparasite and toxin cleanse
>>34972780This is just my experience, but I believe in running. I'm quite a heavy drinker but I find the time to run. I run on days I'm not drinking, and run on days before I drink. I don't run on days after or on multiple day benders. But I get back to running when I feel better (sometimes drink again on the same day). I think it has reduced my hangovers and generally makes me feel better. Sometimes I feel like grabbing a beer, but then suddenly do a 30 minute run and only then grab it. It's automatic for me at this point, I don't even have to think about it.
I struggle pretty terribly with autism. I am looking for ways to mitigate it but all it causes me is harm I think. I can do pretty well with my job and such but some things stress me out so badly. Particularly driving and the sudden plan changes. The sudden plan changes are especially brutal to me. It will freak me out so bad that I cancel if someone tells me one thing but end up having to do something else if I found the change to be egregious. What I am trying to figure out is if there is a way to help myself. What I dislike most is that it feels like my mind is full manual. I see some regular minded people and it is like some stressful things for them are basically automated. Oh they have to jump on the highway to go somewhere? no problem, they just do it. When I do it, I have to prepare myself and every minute is agony. Is there anything I can do? I wish people would respect my struggle when I try to describe these issues to them too. When I try to explain to someone who is probably normal minded, it makes me sound crazy as hell.
>>34971986kill yourself
If you're that autistic the only way to thrive is to create a product or business that you run from home. Look at somebody like ConcernedApe who made Stardew Valley for example. You're never gonna have a good time or be liked out in normal public spaces so you need to weaponize your autism and create a product people will pay for
>>34971986
I own and frequently use a decent-sized X account. (My following isn't in the thousands but it's still nothing to scoff at and I get a fair amount of engagement on my posts.) I post my serious-ish takes on things but mostly interact with the chuds and say words like nigga and retard. It's been an aspiration of mine to be a sort of underground journalist, and during the past few weeks I've been making the preparations to do so. I'm wondering if I should leverage my audience on X as a starting-off point for my """career""" or if the tone dissonance would be too much between my X personality and my more journalistic one. Also what are the chances that attempting to (incrementally) merge these two worlds bites me in the ass, ie if someone wanted to doxx me or whatever? What do
>>34972729>You're not actually relevantYou're probably right but still, when those hit tweets do come in they sure as shit feel niceI'm moreso trying to carve out a niche for myself. To give you some ideas for what I'm thinking of writing on, I want to interview a bug chaser as my first article then interview someone who huffs urinal cakes (yes that's a real drug of choice for some people). As cliche as it might sound I'm trying to shine light on odd things most people probably don't know or think of
>>34972798>when those hit tweets do come in they sure as shit feel niceYou're just feeding your burnt out dopamine system like everyone else in taht shithole, none of it has any meaning.All social media, including this site, is simply a classical dopamine trap and purposely set up to be so, with a secondary function of getting outraged at shit that doesn#t affect your life so you can distract yourself from your own problems. There is nothing there. Its a useless, meaningless waste of time. And thats all it is. Your "account" doesn't mean squat anywhere outside of /pol/
>>34973078I won't deny any of that but what do you think about my article ideas. Any feedback on those?
>>34974100They're good attention grabbing ideas, actually. Are you trying to get published somewhere or self-publishing? Articles? Video?
>>34974142Getting published would be cool if I can find a label that can jive with what I aim to write about, but for now I look towards being self-published. Articles for now, in order to do videos I'd really have to work on my camera presence.
Why is going alone to the movies considered sad and pathetic when you're not even supposed to be talking while watching anyway?
>>34973849Other people's judgments affect your self-esteem and emotional state. That's why you made the thread. If you want to minimize that then you have to act normal.
>>34973763>>34973841>going alone to the movies considered sad and pathetic Do normies really? I thought people did this quite regularly
>>34973800You can talk about the movie afterwards?
>>34973863Not unless they’re teenagers.
I swear to God how many times do i have to see this pic
