Did cocaine for the first time a week ago. I'm a diagnosed retard that always had extreme problems socializing, like many here. My one friend invited me to a small gathering at his place (he is a chad that took me in out of pity), so I went (I love getting drunk, it makes me forget). I went to the bathroom, where a random guy offered me coke, and I went for it. Did about 8 lines the whole night. Ever since then, I cannot, for the life of me, stop thinking about it. It got to the point where I'm having dreams about it, constantly. It made me feel normal for the first time I'm my life, and I want to relive that again. Is it possible to use cocaine recreationally or am I going to fuck myself even further?
>>32619496>Is it possible to use cocaine recreationally or am I going to fuck myself even further?well you can OD from it
>>32619496>> Is it possible to use cocaine recreationallyYes it is possible. But there's a difference because what's possible, and what's a good idea.
>>32619496>Is it possible to use cocaine recreationallytechnically yes because Keith Richards is still alive. but if you don't have millions of dollars for pharmaceutical cocaine then no. too much poison is added and will destroy your face.
>>32619496>am I going to fuck myself even further?Well yeah, you're an addict>love getting drunk, it makes me forgetAll you can really do to help yourself is to stay away from any one or any resource that helps you get the drug.I'm a drunk and my best friend used to have a constant supply of coke and I loved it, but honestly once my friend stopped all that shit I had no access to it and I can barely remember what it feels like now. Ultimately you're responsible for the outcome here, if you choose to keep using it, you'll get more and more addicted.
>>32620460Do you think it's impossible to use it without becoming addicted? I genuinely don't think I can live without doing it again, at least once a year. The feeling of being a normie was indescribable. I finally felt happy for an entire day, I will never forget that feeling. Thanks for replying btw.
>>32619736Why wouldn't it be a good idea? My biggest fear is dying from it or becoming so severy addicted my life falls apart financially. Will occasional use get me to that point?
>>32619719My biggest fear isn't OD'ing, from what I've read it's pretty hard for that to happen when the coke isn't being administered intravenously. I'm scared it's going to make me (more?) addicted, to the point where it controls my life.
>>32620784You biggest fear should be fentanyl. No drugs are safe anymore, man.
>>32620784well you SHOULD be afraid, because this addiction is very common.
>>32620698>Do you think it's impossible to use it without becoming addicted?(NTA) Let me put this very plainly, anon: YOU ARE ALREADY ADDICTED. You've taken the stuff *once* and already you need it so badly that you can't conceive of not having more; you're obsessed with it; you've developed a psychological dependency after just one dose. You think you're going to want it less than this if you start using it regularly? You have no chance AT ALL of controlling your intake. Some people can; you can't. Out of curiosity, is it possible you have ADHD? I'm wondering if cocaine might be similar enough to amphetamine that it would have a calming effect on an ADHD brain. If so you might find something like Adderall or Ritalin would make you feel similarly normal.
>>32621985Maybe I'm just retarded, but I've always thought addiction manifested itself through physical means, IE, shaking and vomiting and stuff like that, but maybe you're right, and I'm already addicted. I've found after a few days (it's been 10 days since) I'm not thinking about it AS MUCH, but it occasionaly pops up on my mind (and I'd do it again in a heartbeat). To answer your question, I'm not diagnosed with anything but a mild case of autism and OCD. I don't believe I have ADHD, I've never displayed any of the symptoms. Thanks for replying :)
>>32619496>Is it possible to use cocaine recreationallyyeyou should do it again
>>32620701>>32619496addiction is one thing, but cocaine is one of the drugs that is harmful in any doses. It does damage to your heart that is permament. It also always contaminated, it contains substance called levamisole which rots your skin, read about it
>>32622300>Maybe I'm just retarded, but I've always thought addiction manifested itself through physical means, IE, shaking and vomiting and stuff like that, but maybe you're right, and I'm already addicted.There are physical and psychological components to addiction. You're probably aware that there are such things as sex addicts and gambling addicts - they don't experience physical symptoms when they stop, but the compulsion to keep consuming is just as powerful. You are already psychologically dependent on the drug. You are already experiencing compulsive behaviour. Physical addiction will come later, but it is an inevitability once you've reached that point. Your only chance of avoiding it is never to touch the stuff again.
>>32619496I've been offered coke a number of times in my life and I always refused because I was afraid of exactly this kind of shit happening
>>32623150Do you think there is some other substitute for it, though? I honestly cannot put into words how good it felt to be normal, to talk to people normally. I've been taking meds for autism for years (Risperidone and Sertraline) and it doesn't come close. I want to feel that again, in any way I can. >>32623153I underestimated it. I've spent my entire life hearing that coke is extremely addictive but I never had problems with addiction, at all. You did good, don't try it. My luck is that I'm retarded and wouldn't know how to contact any drug dealers to get more, otherwise I would've gotten more, 100%.
>>32623271(NTA) You probably weren't talking to people normally, you just thought you were. If you asked the people you were talking to, they would probably describe it very differently.
>>32623271Have you tried other drugs (besides alcohol) before? Chances are, unless you go full-blown cocaine connoisseur you won't experience that same serotonin release again just by buying another bag of cocaine. Drugs can feel amazing the first time you try them, but then each time after that you only experience a diminished version of that idealized first time which you're trying to recreate. This is known as chasing the dragon. You never catch the dragon but some people spend years chasing the feeling they got the first time they tried a drug.If you really wanna buy more cocaine it isn't that hard and I can give you pointers on how to purchase safe clean stuff, but the other anons are correct in telling you that it's very physically and psychologically addictive.t. dealer of various substances including coke
>>32624003I've tried molly before, but I don't take I took enough. It made me thirsty, made me grind my teeth (?) and made my pupils huge, that's about it. It didn't gave me any of the nice side effects I've always heard about. Thank you for your imput! Even considering what all the other anons in this thread have said, I think I will try it at least one more time, just to see if it wasn't a fluke. If it makes me this erratic again, I will quit forever.
>>32624029Sorry, I don't think*!
>>32624029If you can figure out how to install tor browser and buy certain cryptocurrencies, you'll be halfway there. Definitely do not buy coke from any street dealers if you are not an experienced user or someone who knows the person selling it. You will get ripped off and possibly sold something filled with cuts (adulterants). If you wanna try a nice safe bag of coke that has been lab tested, there are vendors on darknet markets who are quite reliable and will ship it discreetly to your house within a week. This is 100% the best way to go for someone in your position without irl connects.
>>32624029>I've tried molly before, but I don't take I took enough. It made me thirsty, made me grind my teeth (?) and made my pupils hugThat's what happens when your molly is cut with speed. The pure stuff is very different - but also not something you can take regularly without causing depression and nerve damage.
>>32624042Thank you anon, I appreciate the advice. I don't plan on buying it anytime soon, however. I think a big part of what made the initial experience so wonderful is that it was a social thing. I was surronded by people that talked to and about me, and that felt really good. Buying some to consume on my own just seems depressing.>>32624895Thank you, I didn't know that. Speed is meth, correct? Molly has always been the substance I was most interested in trying, so when I did and it was underwhelming I was pretty bummed out. Good to know it was jusk a fluke. Out of curiosity, how long should one wait before they try it again so they don't suffer any neurological damage? Is such a thing possible?
>>32625223>Speed is meth, correct?Speed is regular amphetamine. Methamphetamine is like a concentrated, super powerful version. Any amount of MDMA will cause some damage, but if you wait three months between doses it's probably manageable. Starting in the evening of the day after you take a dose (NOT the same day) take 50mg of 5htp in the evenings for a few days; that will cushion you from the depression a little.
>>32625223>Good to know it was jusk a fluke.A lot of MDMA has speed or all kinds of other shit added to it. You may have a slightly better chance of getting it purer if you buy it in crystal form rather than pills, but only slightly.
>>32625578Thank you! Is the depression a certainty following the use or will it change depending on the person? I had virtually no issues the day after I did coke, with the exception of a very mild headache. >>32625650The one I took was crystalized, it had a dirty yellow tint to it. Was bitter as fuck. I administered it per my friend, applying it under my tongue, but it didn't do anything.
>>32619496You build up a tolerance really easily. The first time I tried my friends were doing lines every 10 minutes while I was still wired off the first bump. You obviously have a very addictive personality, if you go down this road you're gonna end up feeling barely anything anymore as well as a big hole in your sinus.
>>32619496>Is it possible to use cocaine recreationally or am I going to fuck myself even further?it is possible, but you will fuck yourself over given that's how you are feeling after consuming it once.talk with your shrink and ask for wellbutrin, there might be other dopaminergic drugs but I'm not too well versed in subject.
>>32625827>Thank you! Is the depression a certainty following the use or will it change depending on the person?MDMA causes your nervous system to release enormous amounts of serotonin. This almost inevitably leads to serotonin depletion for a few days afterwards, which causes depression. Taking 5htp helps your body manufacture more serotonin which takes the edge off. But don't take it at the same time as MDMA or you'll probably drop dead of something called "serotonin syndrome". Wait till evening the day after.MDMA does cause other, long-term issues as well, which the 5htp won't protect you from. But if you limit yourself to 4 doses a year, you may get away with it.
>>32623681>>32623271Probably this, you felt great and misattributed things
>>32619496https://www.youtube.com/@TheFreedomModel/videos
