I swear that this is 100% true, unaltered.

Part one: The Broom

This tale is about the first time I took a shit in my girlfriend's house. I'm 19, and a freshman from college. This took place during Spring Break, and I was hanging out at her's and her mom's house on the last day. We've dated since last February, but I refuse to shit in front of her. The reason? I take massive shits. Like, large paper towel tube sized, painful shits. I could clog an airplane toilet if I wanted. We're hanging out in her room, watching Top Chef, and I feel it. I feel that familiar pain in my smaller intestines. "Run" says my mind.

I run into their shared bathroom, drop trou, and lay the biggest turd I've ever had to push out of my 6'6" build. It hit the water so hard, so densely, that water SHOT out of the toilet, in front of my... phallic organ, and went on the floor in front of the toilet. My girlfriend knocks asking if I'm okay. It had been 25 minutes. I tell her I'm fine, just go back. She doesn't ask anymore- she's heard stories of my chocolate tree trunks.

I use toilet paper, stand up, and flush. Just as I thought, a clog. 'No prob', I say to myself as I reach for the plunger. But instead of my rubber and wooden savior, there is only a void. They do NOT OWN A PLUNGER. Who the fuck doesn't own one? Two females living with no male, that's who. I crack the door and tell her to go buy me a pack of my Marlboro Red 100's. She goes out the garage to my car, time to get to work.

I run around the house, pants at my ankles (I was panicking, screw you), looking for a plunger. None. So I do the only rational thing that came into my mind. I went to the garage.

I run back to the bathroom, with a broom in hand. My turd has evolved while I left. Half was stuck in the hole leading to the pipes, and half broke off like the Titanic, and became a floater. 'Fuck this turd', I think as I turn the broom around, and use the handle to break up the biggest shit I've ever seen in my life.

I was at Baltimore for the past couple of days. I spent most of the time down at the inner harbor, partaking in such activities as convincing old women that the lobster at Uno's pizza is fantastic and trying to make off with a young couple's dog. However, during the midday of this Thursday, I stopped into the nearby Best Buy. After browsing the aisles a fair bit, I noticed on thing:

Toasters. There were only like, 6 fucking toasters. SIX FUCKING TOASTERS. WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE GODDAMN TOASTERS.

I asked the nearby sales associate what the fuck was this shithole's deal, and he gave me the usual "I'm sorry sir, any complaints should be given to our feedbacsaiofhaweuiofhsdnc" bullshit. I told that cunt patriot bastard to get the fuck out of "my city's Best Buy and that my taxpayer soup wouldn't bring his mother out of the mental institution". I don't know, my singed bread-induced rage was peaking and causing me to spew more than one angered nonsensical word-floods.

I just entered my aviary, within which I own two pink necklaceatiels, these birds are scared to hell of me and will go nuts when I am inside. I began scaring them, making them fly over the small aviary, eventually I picked one and made sure he never had any rest in between fear-flights. Once he was tired, I began to corner him, I grabbed ahold of him, he began biting and clawing at me, I threw him onto the ground, and kicked him. I did not expect him to be alive after this, but he was very much so - and still quite feisty, but unable to really fly now. I pulled down my pants and got on my knees, I began masturbating with my left hand, while I had the bird in my right hand. I was holding onto him by his tail feathers, keeping him upside-down, whenever he would attempt to fly away, I would whack him against the wired wall of the aviary. Eventually his tail feathers fell off, he fell to the ground - he made no attempt to escape. I latched onto him, he began biting me. Whenever he would try to chew on me, I would cease masturbating and flick him in the head and mildly tighten my grip. Two minutes pass and the bird's eyes start to close, his head is tilting whichever way gravity wishes, no longer shaking in fear at what is happening to him

You ever wonder what it’s like to be Polynesian?

File: GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST.png (69 KB, 600x200)

69 KB PNG

Can we have a thread with a less stupid banner?

>>32191838
bro im barely even mononesian

I fucking hate everything I have becomed. Holy motherfucking shit, I don't know why the fuck would my shitty ass still try to act nice and shit. If I don't fucking change my ways either I am killing myself or I am going insane. And I am already insane, I don't fucking talk to anyone, not even my own mother, we live in the same fucking house and still i can't talk to her, having friends? none at all. FUCK I know these things fucking suck but how the fuck why the fuck am i like this am i actually retarded? was I destined to be this person? Am I just cooking up reasons not to work? Am I just acting retarded just so I can't work? I was somewhat fine before, fuck man I don't wanna kill myself but I don't even wanna stay alive, I wish I could disappear into the void and my existence is vanished from all timelines.

I have really thick unruly wavy hair and used mum's hair straightener like a year ago and now I can't stop myself from using it because my hair looks so bad without it. Also I don't think anyone other than my mum has noticed that I straighten my hair because when I shower my hair looks pretty flat because of water-weight but when I wake up (night shower) my hair looks so bad that I can't stop myself from using the flat iron to make it not so thick and unruly. My hair is like 4-5 inches long so it takes 5 mins max, but now I'm super anxious whenever I have to travel somewhere far away without the straightener or someone finding out that my hair isn't natural (it's hard to tell with 4 inches but you could definitely tell if it was longer). Should I just cut my hair and accept that I'm just ugly and live with it?

File: absolutelylividasa.jpg (44 KB, 709x640)

44 KB JPG

holy fucking shit, why has captcha been so fucking atrocious these past few days? i got an 8-char yesterday and i got a 7-char just now. white characters and now dotted print over characters. fuck you, fucking greedy nigger mods.

>>32191849
I will do my best to use your banner the next time around, friend! (assuming that I do not die horrifically in battle before then)

File: 1715446476684505.jpg (114 KB, 1080x1215)

114 KB JPG

I think I'm a bad person because I have bad thoughts but I almost always do the right thing in the moment. I'm just so frustrated that other people don't that I wish I was like that too. Even though I don't really want to be an asshole, it just seems like the only way stop people from hurting me.

File: IMG_8109.jpg (173 KB, 1644x1290)

173 KB JPG

sing trough my voice
pray trough my hands

I think it's time to let go
I won't make you feel like shit anymore
I won't bother you anymore

are you sure? can you?

what's the fun of being a man nowadays, besides being alone? A thing that, let met tell you, it's not even that much fun anymore. I'm sick. It's there any pills to solve my libido? Maybe one that will not destroy my will to live, or my testosterona. I'm legit thinking about getting medicated, because I can't take this fucking hell anymore.

>>32191849
>proceeds to post the stupidest banner of them all

Got the spot, the rope ready, tested the anchor with my full weight. Just couldn't go through with it yet, wanted to play some more video games and then was tired and went to sleep. I guess things aren't bad enough for me.

>>32191838
its horrible. everyone around you is fat and loud.

My nuts hurt and it's annoying as fuck. It's really just the cherry on top of barely being able to move. My whole abdominal area is just fucked right now. I think I know what I have to train to prevent this from happening again in the future but I can't do anything about it until this bout of bs passes.

>>32192179
What makes you wanna kys?

>>32192275
Fear of being locked up, tortured and abused by the government in the future and the fact that I don't see a future for myself in life. I'm in my mid twenties, never had a relationship or close friends. Also not smart enough to achieve my dreams in my special interest area.

>>32192219
Good sauces though I bet

are you people noticing people acting more and more strange?

>>32192315
No. Everyone acts exactly like they did before.

>>32192325
oh thank you for your reply now I can go kill myself

>>32191713
most reddit thread ive seen in a while

>>32192337
What?

I have been holding off on busting a nut until i see my gf this Thursday because i always take too long to bust. But i worry she gets annoyed of my death grip syndrome dick because she just doesnt enjoy sucking my dick. I dont know what to do bros. I like her a lot but i worry over time my sexual needs will not be met by her because she isnt into sex with me as much as i want sex w her.

it's over.

After, 2 years of working part time as a student in McDonald’s I finally quit. I’m just so relieved I’ll have some time for myself. The phone call with the head manager went pretty funny

>Hiii anon whatss up
>Hi I want to quit
>Awww that’s unfortunate, is there any reason why?
>Im a part time student worker, I don’t need to give you a reason to quit do I?
>Well not really I’d just like to know, you know you were here for so long, you seemed to like it here
>I don’t want to work anymore
>Ah okay then I’ll have the paperwork ready for you, make sure to sign them on your next shift

I’m finally at peace ;)

>>32191713
you have been in my dreams three nights in a row no. It had been months since. I wonder why? I hadn’t thought about you in a long time, and now you are in my dreams.

I had noticed a lot of energy being funneled into a passion of mine, and while I did enjoy a myriad of surprises, I inherently knew I was being disingenuous with what I wanted, for there are more pressing matters which need all the resources I can muster to achieve my desired resolution. I wanted to see a sign that would confirm if my actions would lead me towards the bright future I seek before I had begun the events of last night, it felt odd to ask first before acting, but I knew my intention was true. After clearing what had been inadvertently draining my mind, immediate relief and then I spotted something. A moth. Quite an interesting find, as the doors had been shut for sometime and are never left open. Then it hit me. A moth is a seeker of light. While they may find an immediate light source, they outgrow false lights to find their true light. Its presence reminded me to see past false lights and stay resolute to find the best light of all, the bright future.

I am a female who went from hating porn to having a raging porn addiction/cuckqueen fetish.
This started when my first irl boyfriend told me he ‘used to’ want a threesome and wanted my opinion on it. Then when I was high one day I got randomly horny and came to porn for the first time and for some reason i just got turned on at the thought of him cheating on me.
The ironic thing besides me being a jealous girl is that before him my dating life was me ‘pretending to cum’ for guys. I didn’t understand masturbating to cum; I’d only ever go on porn sites to compare myself to other girls. Online boyfriends I had would want me to send them videos of me masturbating and I saw it as a chore because i was doing it for show.
Then in my mid 20s I met a guy I was in love with who used me for sex and i could cum from sex sometimes I think but he also wanted to watch me masturbate at times and I’d have to fake it. I knew he watched porn and I’d get so angry thinking about all the hotter younger girls he had probably looked at. He was fat and objectively ugly I only really go for fat guys.
Now, I have a hard time finding porn I like BC they’re aren’t enough young pretty girls and I’m very specific about the porn I watch.
The girl(s) needs to be 18-21 and they need to be at least a 7/10 or higher, needs to be either threesome or a very specific scenerio where it’s appears to be a teen roomate seducing landlord by twerking. If it is 3some porn I need it to have the girls pleasing his dick at the same time like one sucking his dick while the other sucks his balls. It cant be a blonde or milf because blondes aren’t slutty enough so has to be a brunette or alt, cant have big boobs. If I can’t find something I like I’ll settle by covering up what I don’t like with my thumb like if the guy isn’t fat/old enough and I need to imagine he has a stomach or if girl has hooked nose.
I still hate porn but at least now I feel like I understand men better

I fucked an escort and it was the worst prestation ever. Like ive already fucked some hookers, and this one was mid at best, she was pretty but dumb as a rock. I regret every dollar i gave her. Normaly i take the time to talk with her, but this just of the boat bitch couldnt understand english, spanish nor french. I will never fuck a thai whore again.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk.

>>32192712
>he could've fucked a femboy but instead he had to go for the thai ladyboy
either way youre getting poopdick

File: tomoko.gif (300 KB, 289x338)

300 KB GIF

i wanna cut myself again after dropping my meds

>>32192780
Nah she was a real she.

File: A93F8CC0-8EA7-402A-B57A-2(...).jpg (31 KB, 640x524)

31 KB JPG

>>32192790
Why did you go off your meds

>>32192790
post your scars

>>32191713
I was reading some stuff about teachers complaining about kids drawing guns on all their papers and I'm just like damn I used to draw swords on all my papers and I turned out just fine. Did anyone else draw weapons all over their papers as a kid?

>>32192897
cos they made me feel like shit

Oy vey dude

>>32192982
we used to do flip comics as gory as we could make them and i while i wouldnt say ive been successful i at the very least havent killed anybody yet that i know of but i am unconcious 6-8 hours every day so who can say what that guy does

>>32192846
>go to thailand
>doesn't bang a tranny
>presumably wasn't underageb&
>didn't even get a fucking ripstart
anon you wasted your thailand trip

>>32192164
If I’m honest with myself I don’t think that I’ll be able to let go

This day is already going very fast but I would like it to go much much faster

the worst classroom is the airplane

Every time someone acts emotional, or I hear an emotional music I get really mad and annoyed because it all seems so fake and manipulative. None of this is real. Reality is cold, empty, meaningless and without any emotion. It's just other people who want to impose their own fairy tale version of the world into my mind.

It's been so long since we've talked that I wonder if anything has changed. Will we venture beyond the customary politeness and learned caution? Are you hoping to fall in love with me again? Have you always been in love with me? I've had so many wonderful dreams about you that they could sustain me for a lifetime, and given our past together, maybe it's better that you stay in my dreams. I'm willing to see if we can't be friends though.

>>32193360
reality is rational and emotionless I agree. emotions are mental illness of human scum

>>32192982
my friend and i would draw intricate stick figure murder scenes with the indiana jones style pits and projectiles and everything, teachers never gave a fuck, although straight up guns and knives would definitely be concerning as it points to a morbid fascination
swords are cool too, i think that's just a normal thing for some kids to be drawn to

>>32192982
My childhood friend used to draw severed penises hanging on laundry lines. He did not turn out fine.

>>32193379
You are 12

Really setting myself up to be hurt but that's okay

You really thought you were doing something namedropping me on /soc/ on a post that wasn't even by me...? I can tell the seizures really scrambled your pea brain. Hope you have another one soon and you finally just die

I look weird

It's been about a month since I stopped being the one initiating conversations and meet ups with the friend group. It's been dead silent besides one or two quick "wow how bout that storm!" I'm still sad at the loss of friends but I guess it's more being sad about losing the 'idea' I had of who they were, not who they actually were. I have a stash of things I had been collecting to send as Christmas gifts I have to figure out what to do with now, some of it I can give to nieces and nephews, most will probably be donated or put up on the buy nothing facebook page. I don't really have it in me to keep trying to make friends. I moved to this city two years ago and everyone has their own established group. The local furry group keeps trying to befriend me since they go to all the conventions/events I like, and while they seem a nice enough bunch besides the wearing ears and tails in public thing, they're also dominated by minors and I already work with children as my career, I don't want to deal with that in my private time.

i watched child porn once as people were spying on me, my internet connection probably using a rat, and really they kept unjustly calling me a pedophile anyways. It had the effect of getting people to say something about what I was watchng on social media, whether they actually knew, who, even using tor and a vpn somehow they could still see, however on top of that I really dont believe i'm a pedophile even when trying be. Is that trying to be? Why would I have to figure that out in the first place? I felt like vomiting for days after. Really i'm just strange, maybe. Maybe, I can answer questions they'd never consider, maybe it's narcissistic acting on the delusion that i'm some sort of spy outwitting everyone? I'm probably just really far gone at this point and dont notice it. I don't want to sound narcissistic but that's just the case probably. It was a stupid thing to do though as obviously these people dont really care about what your mental state or the reasons behind something. you were already calling them a pedophile, why are you so shocked then? You're probably not, you might even actually understand everything. Again it just seems like you dont really care at all, which is why i have a hard time liking or trusting any of you. You dont really have empathy. I know that's myopic and im already getting over it, but yeah... in the very least you just want to be taken care of. anything outside of that... idk. i'm tired of my entire identity being hanging upon that, what you want. Tired of feeling worthless when I know i'm not.

I don't care to think about all that anymore. Ain't never fuck no children aint never will k bye

>>32193513
Kinda gay the way everyone here complains about this whole friend thing. What do you consider a friend? Do you want them to suck your cock 24/7? Most, and by most I mean 99% of groups, is dead silent. Most people have one or two friends that they ocassionaly talk to. Women sometimes have a lot of people to talk to, but they're mostly men that after getting the pussy they won't reach out again. Don't go around fooling yourself believing people are 24/7 chatting with each other and you aren't, because that's not true.

Just wink and nudge me allll the way through and I get all of whatever the fuck it is good or bad I just want to put the hook in

>>32193644
Beats sitting around all day doing fuck all

I've spent 10 months thinking about a serious response to what I was feeling at the time, IF the person would ask.
On the 10th month, I finally came up with an answer, and I could finally move on.
The relief lasted for 10 days, until I imagined a conversation with them, and I realized, a serious response at this point is not even warranted. I may know what I wanted, but at this point, they don't even deserve an answer, even if they'd ask. Now, I needed to give a non serious answer that drew a clear boundary and ended things immediately, and I had no answer for this.

I got stuck again.
It's been 5 days now and I can feel the brainfog returning. I need to come up with an answer, or I risk spending weeks or maybe even months on this issue too, but I am so fucking exhausted.

Does anyone know what it is I'm going through?

I'm kind of angry at my dad. He was a weirdo kid in school with no friends. He should have known better than to reproduce.

seeing a group of friends and thinking "I want to be part of that" but know I'm too socially retarded for it

>>32193676
Been there dozens of times. For me it only got worse.

1000th time I'm asking why was I born like this

>>32193674
>I can't do anything so I BLAME my dad for my failures
You can do this and you are objectively correct, or you can realize you are your own man, grow up, leave the house and enjoy life.

>>32193690
I'm an adult and I rent my own place. Life is not enjoyable because I was born with shitty genes.

I don't have to worry about the truth of it. I just need to float from one day to the next and that's about it. Fact of the matter is, I'm given the time of day every now and again and that's really quite nice

>>32193715
If you can do anything a normal extrovert person physically can then you were not born with shitty genes

I need to tell my girlfriend that I don't find her attractive anymore and think that I'm gay.
I've had sex with a couple of men in the past but never a relationship. I was driving in the country today fantasizing that my imaginary boyfriend was sitting next to me holding my hand as we admired the autumn foliage.
I've been increasingly distant in my real life relationship, and was confronted for not initiating sex and not cumming when with her.
Over the past year I've been more conscious of improving myself through exercise, grooming, fashion, and overall demeanor. I think she feels threatened by this.
I've gone on Grindr but not met anyone. I chat with guys, show them my dick, etc., but I don't feel right about DL or fucking a guy then coming back to her. It's just wrong.
I have to tell her that the guy she loves and wants to spend the rest of her life with doesn't want her and is a faggot.

I am this or I am that. It doesn't matter anymore. It is over.

>>32193736
Such a weird illogical post.

>>32193768
Prove you were born with shitty genes and isn't just pushing blames on others.

>>32191713
I want to kill them all.

>>32193803
The proof is that I was a bullied lonely weirdo in childhood like him and it only got worse.

>>32191713
The mice are coming back
Greeaaaaattt, just love fall

Why did my dick betray me? It shrivelled up when I was at the doctor, it looked like I have a micropenis. When this gets around I'm finished.

>>32193873
My head has been feeling pressurized
I feel I will have a stroke or a seizure soon
Never really experienced a headache though, so maybe that’s why
Hy heart also feels like it is beating silently
I feel like blood is rushing to my ears
I cannot feel my face or pulse
My skin feels cold and clammy
I think I will die soon

>>32193892
But I survived eating a whole pack of twizzlers liquorice and drinking half a bottle of tonic in one sitting last November
It weakens the heart
I want to get some firestone naan rounds to put in the toaster

>>32193715
>Muh genes now
You play the hand you are dealt.
Unironically, forgive your parents. Start view them as children and become your own man. If you have "shitty genes", get yourself as healthy as you can. Who is stopping you?
Get your father's introject permanently out of your head and become a man.

I'm a failed normie and I feel totally hopeless. I can't really relate to normies beyond a super baseline level and can't really deeply connect to any of them, but any time I try talking to anyone else I just feel uncomfortable with the autism.

I just want to lie to myself and feel really good

I'm really not even the same person that I used to be back then. You're living in fantasy. Don't just look at me because you're unhappy with the way things are. I'm not going to be your second choice.

Gonna suck once I get a grip

In the end I die alone, probably riddled with dementia and frequently shitting myself

oh well. bye

None of this matters and none of this is real and I don't know the first thing about you apart from whatever tidbits I may have absorbed. Could be entirely fabricated. It's an FBI psyop!! What do I know? I don't. I don't know


Anything

Damn cute though

I'm FUCKING DUMB.

>>32194287
Same.

>>32194295
Fudging hygrometer h tee be by bed w every vfegefgf! Recs cred cc be xvfゆ?

>>32191713
maybe my life is one big joke. maybe im not meant for anything; that people would be better if i wasnt around. not necessarily dead, but... not here. i feel like a burden to the people i love, and that i would be doing them a service if i just left

Whenever I buy a Stephen King book in public it feels like I'm buying a porn VHS. I slide it onto the counter face down so that the employee doesn't see what I'm buying (they see it anyway cause it shows up on the monitor) and I slide them my card while looking around to see if anybody is watching. This is how it would be if I bought Lolita by Nabokov in public but I'll order that one off of Amazon instead.

I'm trying my absolute best. I don't know what amount of hazing is acceptable as a student, but I can't be making this up. Being told to wipe up leaked enemas with wipes and not being allowed to use towels or mops and having women laugh at me is hard. I was about to drive off a cliff today, but stopped and got back on the road. I don't want to go back. I can't take this.

I hate watching them hurt little old people. 80 year old women crying in pain being told to hold still and stop being difficult by women who have spent their entire day playing solitaire and matching games and haven't seen any patients at all.

I got scolded for getting a freezing woman a warm blanket instead of getting her out of the room a minute sooner. She was shivering so bad her teeth chattered. They tell the sick people they'll fulfill their requests (water, oxygen, food, blankets, pillows) and laugh to their coworkers that “dey aint gettin nuffin” and read smut on the clock.

I feel like if I don't graduate and join the workforce, more people will suffer. But I don't know if I can last until May. I was told I don't know anything and shouldn't even be here in front of the doctor, PA, and patient because I hesitated to hand the patient medicine to drink. The patient looked like they were going to faint, so I helped them get steady, but I was making the exam take too long.

I want to self harm. I haven't in three years. I want to cut my legs up and cry and give up on all of this. I study so much. I work so hard. I have good grades in the school part, the patients like me, but the employees and teachers treat me like I'm shit on a shoe. I've been praying I'd just crash in a car and not have to come back.

>break up, dream about her for a year
>start talking, get back together
>both better people goes pretty well for awhile
>still fight, both need to mature way more, but slow progress
>start to notice she's materialistic, doesn't take care of her self
>try to be cute and she just talks about money even though she already makes more than her entire family
>she was a complete bitch while I was sick for a week along some other real big mistakes
>she does actually try and genuinely cares about me
>no more fighting, nothing seems important enough for me to care to fight about it
>can't tell if I'm tired from insomnia or I kinda just don't like her that much

I am tired, that's for sure

The lies you made up are scary.
You add just enough detail to make it seem plausible.
You go by the rules that if you treat me well in person then you can do whatever behind my back and it's fine.
That's how you've always been. I've just been too blind to see it.

I didn't find what I was looking for but apparently I made a pretty damn good discovery.

So do you see the problem? Calling it what you want doesn't change what it is. I wish things could be that way too but they aren't and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

Why did you hurt me so much
Why did I do those things to you
I don’t understand any of it

I wish you were the anon who said “I wanna hug you” but I know that you were more likely the anon who said “ I hope you die miserably you lunatic cunt” and if I’m honest with myself I know that neither of them were you and I’m just losing my fucking mind again

It's really funny but it's also kind of cute like they find community in that and it's like "yeah you're a cowboy too!" and it's like cowboys are good straightforward people who like to drink and don't cry and that's just very absurd

File: 1649032355104.jpg (174 KB, 1100x1100)

174 KB JPG

>>32191713

I just started my career at 24, after pretty much a year after graduating university. I've become so discouraged by job hunting that I really fell for some low hanging fruit, but now I'm desperately trying to hurry this portion of my life up by applying to jobs on my very first day of taking this job. I grew up with a very competitive crowd, to the point where if I'm not high achieving I'm failing. I have this undying urge to just return back to academia and study until I'm a graduate, yet I want work experience. I cried today because of this pressure. I desperately want to be a well off man, but the more that I think about going forward the more I get scared. I know that this position is a nice ass kicker and I deserve it to put me forward, but do I have to suffer in a position that probably doesn't benefit my career goals? I'm terribly upset about this. I shouldn't be posting this because I should be researching schools or grad schools that I want to go to to help myself, but I also can't help but focus on things that don't help my future. Sometimes I honestly think that I'm severely unlucky and that this is just the result of my luck.

I'm going to drink so much when Fishtank season 3 airs. It's pathetic, but monitoring these retards nearly 24/7, becoming invested in their personalities and dispositions, and sending random TTSes almost made me feel like I had friends.

Maybe she hates me and gets railed on the regular by someone I could never compare to and she likes all of this because of how powerful it makes her feel and the real danger it poses to myself like I straight up don't know

Wee hee

>>32191713
just dropped a class, idk what to feel knowing im retaking it next semester.

What went wrong? Transfered in and i had to take a bunch of intro courses and which led me being behind in math by 3 years (23m). I even asked my prof for advice, "good luck, anon lol" baffeled that i forgot to integrate (i took diff eq, which was my last math back in 2022).

I remember how giddy they seemed the first time we'd run into one another at the grocery store. It was so cute. I was an anxious wreck. At that point I wasn't sure that they were being sincere but I guess a smile that wide doesn't lie. It's a shame I couldn't have realized that earlier.

You know, like, I've got some things going for me and it feels like I should be over this by now but I don't think anyone is ever going to love me and it just kind of bums me out I guess.

>>32194335
I've been feeling the same way

It just wouldn't be fair to anyone. There's simply no way. I can't make a tinder profile and invite someone into a living hell and complete beach of their privacy. No matter how smooth things get, I just am not gonna find it. And like maybe that sucks a bit even if I can't blame anyone but myself.

I'm gonna babytrap him. I'm gonna do it. (He wants it I know he does)

I'm just really not willing to be honest to myself about just how bummed I am about that.

I have to have all my USB connections unplugged from my computer when I turn it on or it'll just boot up to a black screen with a white dash and then I'll have to hold down the power button to turn it off. What the fuck, I've been using this computer for over 6 years and this is the first time this has happened to me. It didn't happen when I first turned it on today but while I was using it my mouse and keyboard randomly disconnected so I restarted it and that's when it started happening. I don't know what the fuck is going on, this is seriously pissing me off and giving me anxiety.

I keep forgetting how traumatizing it was being a lolcow. I've been forgotten for years but I made a blusky randomly, kinda missing posting art and chatting somewhere cus I've been lonely. But then I immediately had a violent bodily reaction and suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I had to delete it immediately.

Guess I can never use social media again.

Like, if I ever find myself feeling ready, I can't even try. I just fucking blew it.

>>32194513
What lies did they make about you?

I just don't find 99% of the chicks on dating apps pretty. I don't know what it is, I swipe left on most of them, I've already run out of people to swipe on multiple times and I think I've swiped right on maybe 10 chicks. Is something wrong with my head?

saw the most beautiful hooker on my way home from work
then again if she's that pretty she's probably popo
ah well, what could of been....

>>32195020
I am right where you are!
>>32191713
HEADACHE WILL NOT GO AWAY
I WILL NEVER USE 4CHAN AGAIN

>>32195119
You might actually be gay

ok if I don't find a gf soon I'll end up a complete porn degenerate, my fetishes are already getting more and more fucked up

its funny, i tell a chick i live at home with my parents and her pucci is drier than the sahara desert. ok dont come and live with me in my parents multi million dollar house that ill inherit when they die, and go date the "bad boy" instead. you showed me.

File: notavailable.jpg (163 KB, 3333x2989)

163 KB JPG

I've been crying a lot about many random and small things lately. Was supposed to go to my bf's place today, but i left the house late and wouldve reached 30 minutes later than I had promised. I went home shortly after I left the house because I broke down when he called me. i just keep thinking i have such major problems especially emotional dysregulation that makes me worthless, and then i self harm. later he accuses me of not being honest, saying that i shouldve told him if i didnt want to come over. but i really did want to go, but i dont contend this because maybe hes right. i have been late previously. i believe its because im too hesitant to go outside or i was doing some stupid shit and thought i could make it in time.
now i feel like a dishonest, scummy, lying bitch. is there anything i can do?

>>32195160
seriously, people who get weird about that are missing out. my ex's mom loved me. she bought me snacks n shit. liked me more than my own mom does

i'm gonna be missing him forever aren't i? i hope some man comes into my life and is all i've ever wanted and i'm all he's ever wanted and we fall in love originally

File: 1698213366297154.png (330 KB, 370x374)

330 KB PNG

God I miss her. I don't feel hurt anymore but I still wish I could be with her.

i hope her and her baby and her girlfriend dies

It feels weird. I cut off two toxic and miserable women and now I feel wayyy more confident than usual. I've been flirting with and talking to women without any kind of issue now.

I was dancing at the bus stop this morning while listening to Hootie and the Blowfish and two other people showed up to catch the bus but I didn't stop dancing.

who came up with person man? degraded man, person man.

i hate my job

I hate it. That 2nd song means a lot to me and I took my limited free time to make that just for it to be shit on directly after making that gif for an hour. I did it instead of watching a cool movie, I thought since people asked for a thing that I should make a fun pic and this time pick a song that meant something to me.
It is not the first time that happened, I am the anon who made that Bury snacken jiraken skovmoj bury that got blasted for like 4 hours before people were nicer seeing how many people said bad things about what I made

I just need to stop making things. Seriously. This is mean board

*puts you in psychward*
i dislike you

>>32191713
SpaceX's test launch of Starship, on their Super Heavy booster, failed to publish EPA ratings for fuel economy.

I hadn’t planned for anything serious when I first decided to message you. To be honest the prospect of connecting with someone from here never interested me all that much. I’ve seen some horrible things here mixed in with the good enough to make me wary. But that all changed once I started to see right away how you were different. How quickly you made me feel things I’d been sorely missing. Somewhere in my subconscious I already wanted to push for more. It’s a shame then how it all darkened, chilled, and lost its color. I just wanted to learn everything I could about you there was hardly anything else even in my head those days. But no I didn’t predict it was ever going to become that to me nor what heartache was in store. I think I end up saying it a lot but wherever you are out there I hope you’re happy

File: europe1871.png (1.06 MB, 2284x1503)

1.06 MB PNG

How do I get over my hatred for Poland? Everytime I am reminded that it exists my day is ruined. Biggest mistake in the entire world history were the Polish migrations

>get the urge to watch someone play a video game
>they have a video feed of their dumb face right next to the video
>eyes keep jumping to dumb looking face
>distracts from the game
I don't know why people do this

>>32195476
i'll hate poland with you

>>32195467
Taking this as though it were addressed to me..

I want you to call
I just want to hear your voice
Comfort me please

I’ve waited so long to let go
I am weary, I need to rest
Stay with me for awhile
Wait by my side
It won’t be long

My sweet L, I will love you forever.
I hope you can be happy in life, I hope you’re happy. That is all I want for you, and I want you to have the books. I wouldn’t want anyone else to have them. They mean a lot to me. You gave me something so special. I will love you forever.

Sorry, headache
I am falling asleep

>he still refuses to let me see his dick even after months of dating online
What the fuck why won't he let me see it? He already knows I don't make fun of size or do any of that dumb shit so what's the hold up?

>>32195543
He's insecure, obviously. I get it, I wouldn't wanna show my dick to my girlfriend either.

I feel like people are only virtue-signalling when they talk about sexual acts toward young boys. No one actually cares if a 13-year-old boy to a strip club yet the comments will be full of "Erm, bro's a victim".

>>32195528
I just wish it could be true sometimes..
But then I don’t want it to
It would just be in vain
Prolonging the end
I want you to be happy
I just want this to all fade away
I want to see M again
October’s almost over..

>>32195553
Really hope you may reach out to me

I've been suicidal my whole life and can't stop it. Tried everything. I'm hurting so bad I can barely function. My life is pointless and I just wish it was over.

>>32195566
I hope you will find peace
We will all go to heaven
Rest assured
Enjoy this life as much as you can
You will be in my prayers

>>32195566
I've been feeling this way too. The suicidal thoughts never ceased, but did lessen for a few years. Now it is nonstop, all I can think about. People tell me they need me, but I feel like all I am is an errand runner that is so easily replaced. Nobody really needs Me, they just need someone who isn't able to say no to their every wish and desire. I don't want to kill myself, I just want to pass away and not bother anyone

>>32191713
And she said, "losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow"
I'm going to Graceland
Memphis, Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poor boys and pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland

>>32191713
Make me an angel
That flies from Montgomery
Make me a poster
Of an old rodeo
Just give me one thing
That I can hold on to
To believe in this livin'
Is just a hard way to go

>>32195582
I’m sorry to hear you are also going through a hard time. Not much I can say to that right now.. just wanted to say that I hear you, and I hope things get better

>>32195592
This is the only part of the song that I hear
I believe Angel of 14th street was inspired by this
But there is nothing written about it online.. weird

>>32191713
7 but it feels like 4
TIRED AAAAAHAHAHHHH

my depression has gotten so bad. i sleep all day now. i don't want to end my life. i don't know what i'm still alive for. i don't think it gets better.

I think I'm addicted to getting low amounts of sleep. For almost a month I've gotten less than 6 hours a night. This isn't an accident either, I see the clock and see that it's time for bed yet I choose to stay up that extra hour or two.

>>32191713
I'm sorry for ignoring you this morning. I was exausted and just wanted to focus on my goals. Hope you can forgive me.

>>32195688
>I'm sorry for ignoring you this morning. I was exausted
I just don't believe this is real. I don't believe that someone can be so exhausted that they can't shoot back a quick and short reply. You're telling me that you're so exhausted that you can't send three words to me? That you're so exhausted that you can't use your thumbs for 10 seconds? Get real.

I can't tell who, but there is a group pushing for the propaganda of cooking/laundry being hard/impossible for men.
I'm not saying that anyone can cook a five course meal.
I'm not saying that men should stay home and cook for their wives
I'm not even saying I can cook well, my cooking is bland.
I am saying that getting a lump of clothes, separating colors from whites, and pressing "wash now", and cooking eggs is meat is just "prepare meal and then cook". Yet my friends are mystified by it.

I swear there's some propaganda on this because the nano second men like my dad can make coffee/tea for himself, it diminishes a girl's importance in a traditional relationship
The worst part is I kinda hate my friends who do know how to cook, in the sense that I don't respect them. So maybe I'm just being a fag for knowing how to cook like them

>>32192712
>English
>Spanish
>French
What language DID she speak? Arabic? Russian?
>>32192982
You drew swords because swords are cool and are heroic. Those kids drew guns because they fantasize about shooting their classmates/super edgy. I would drew guns because I love the Duke Nukem shotgun.
It's not the action, it's the why of the action.

Why do guys fall in love with me. Don't buy me dinner I can afford it. I'm just a whore dude gimme your meat and find someone else to cuddle with. I need to stop going for ugly nerdy dudes but they're all I like. I feel kinda evil fucking virgins but I guess we're all consenting adults. Maybe I should play into the turboslut thing.

i don't think a guy has ever truly fallen in love with me

I check here to see if any /atoga/ girls are confessing their feelings for me.

Do you guys think it okay for me to do some journaling of my days in this thread? I am not sure if I should, I don't want to be too annoying.
Exposure therapy is has worked for me in the past, shame gives me some strength to overcome my problems, I won't have access to a therapist for a long time, right now my mental health is pretty deteriorated and I am running out of coping mechanisms, I don't know what to do anymore.

>>32195668
Having the same problem as you anon, but I remember why I am still alive, I remember there are a few things I really enjoy doing even if I can't find enjoyment on anything at the moment, the numbness of the depression is not permanent, it will go away as you recover. I also remember my goals, many relatively easy things I really wanna do but haven't had the chance of getting them done and a few dificult but doable things I would like to have in the future, feeling numb but remember that I want to live a better life.

>>32191713
My last straw is being denied a bed at the shelter
Need a “reacess meeting”, it could take a week
No.
I will be dead before November
I have no will to survive

>>32191713
Just got broken up with. Weird mixed feelings, sad but I know deep down it’s for the best.

Man I regret not giving that qt my instagram when she asked a couple of weeks ago. Serves me right for being faithful I guess…

you were supposed to be my friend. why do you hurt me?

Will I get banned if I try to revive /wwoym/ on /adv/?

Doc refered me to a neurologist to get tested for adhd after I asked him. National healthcare gave me an appointment in 6 fucking months. Should I jsut bite the bullet and go to a private doc? How much would it cost me? How many visits would it take me?

Can a neurologist even diagnose adhd? I always thought it was a psychologist that did that

i want to try cocaine soon. i'm so depressed i want to completely destroy myself before the inevitable end of my life. i always disliked people who took cocaine. i always thought it was a shit drug.

>>32195824
>National healthcare gave me an appointment in 6 fucking months
You'll live.
>Should I jsut bite the bullet and go to a private doc? How much would it cost me?
I don't know what country you're in but here in Australia I was told that it would cost me somewhere between 2-3k

>>32195828
it is a shit drug
all it did for me was make me irritable

>>32195777
aint gonna happen you are anonymous

>>32195836
should i just do crack? maybe i can have the courage to an hero or sling myself off a balcony like liam payne.

>>32195829
Well I wanted to get help quickly rather than have to wait so long.
I'm in italy

File: pepe-peppo.gif (31 KB, 220x220)

31 KB GIF

41 more months without a date and I can finally off myself.
I'm already planning the day. I want to make it an all day stream where I just play video games, stream movies or cartoons and shoot the shit with whoever else wants to waste their time with a loser like me (even if I have no audience), then ending the stream by ending myself. It's a work in progress, I've got time to make adjustments.

kind of want to kill myself but then dad will find my body and some people may be sad

File: obesity.jpg (49 KB, 1258x256)

49 KB JPG

About to cross over into class 1 obesity from class 2. Within a year I'll hit my goal weight of 180, but I gotta go further than that. I gotta get to 150. Life only offers its fruits to the above average, after all.

>>32195841
no crack is worse if you want that shit just drink or do acid

>>32195763
Maybe you should stop being so lovable. Ever think of that huh? Slut?

Holy shit, gangster rap is so fucking ridiculously stupid. What a retarded culture to be a part of. It's just a bunch of apes dying before their 25th birthday.

>>32196062
nah its based

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ0n3itoII

File: Zzyb-1.jpg (168 KB, 1440x2560)

168 KB JPG

forgot to take my adderall this sucks

It's happening again, I'm gonna stay up late playing modded Slay the Spire instead of sleeping.

>>32196186
you're lucky. i ghosted my psychiatrist so i've been out of my adderall for a month. taking my medication was my favorite part of the day.

i have an appointment over the phone with my psychiatrist on thursday so she can refill my medication. i haven't spoken to her in two or three months, i forgot. i am anxious about having to video call her even though she already knows how ugly i look and how awkward i am with my body language.

>>32196201
>she already knows how ugly i look and how awkward i am with my body language.
She does not care, she has no reason to care.

>>32196219
you are logical but i'm overly self conscious nonetheless.

>>32196226
But now that you're aware of the reality of the situation, you just need to stop caring. I know that sounds really dumb but thinking logically is what helped me overcome my anxiety.

it fucking SUCKS not being in love
all you are is a distant memory

>>32196277
fall in love again

>>32196277
Now try being infatuated with someone you only had a few emails with because of """"art""""

Motivated me as my muse but my brain sees the complete irrationality and patheticness of it.

I do not want a massage from a man unless maybe he is gay but not too much so.

>>32196347
Missing out. Men are stronger and give more relaxing messages.

>>32196351
*massages

>>32196351
Nta but men massage your body for them, not for you. It sucks.

It was difficult for me to believe that you could have any reason to sincerely want to be my friend. I had nothing going for me. I wasn't attractive, smart, emotionally or socially intelligent, cultured, experienced, nor did I come from any sort of differential privilege. It felt like my own parents didn't even want me as my father killed himself and my mother told me that I was a mistake and a rape baby she never wanted. My whole family looked at me like I was some kind of freak. I've never fit in anywhere. I don't know why I'm here most days. I was afraid of finding out you were just faking it and laughing at me behind my back to your real friends. You always knew such interesting people. I couldn't see myself fitting into your life like that. I at the very wanted to do right by you when I could but it seems I couldn't even do that. I couldn't get you food when you were hungry, keep my promises, stand up for you, or help you when you needed it. It made me feel like maybe I did deserve everything that's happened. I wish I could apologize and that it would actually mean anything but it feels pointless. I failed to be what I needed to be for somebody that meant the world to me and there is no taking that back. I deserve all the suffering I endure.

how can i pull myself out of this impossible depression?

i don't deserve to have a better life because i am unironically genetic trash, mentally and physically. i should just become addicted to meth and then shoot myself in a manic state.

>>32196299
would be nice ^^;
>>32196335
only a few emails? i'm an artist too and have drawn about 4 bfs but one still sticks with me since he was my best experience. i hope that's a "so far.." scenario desu. was she a portrait or anatomy model or another artist? why the """"

>>32196041
congrats anon, you can do it

>>32195777
thats so funny lmao

>>32195719
whats got ur panties in a twist? ꉂ (≧ヮ≦)

>>32196491
i dont know

what do i do when i am severely in love with someone but they ghosted me many months ago and i cannot move on and i am severely suicidal?
i feel so close to ending it and i can barely get out of bed, losing my job didn't help, i sleep all day now and don't desire to do anything. i'd never felt this way for anyone before.

i would rather have spent the rest of my life just simply talking to them over email than doing anything else with my time.

>>32196634
Why can’t you keep emailing this person?

>>32196644
they not only ghosted me which means they no longer wish to communicate, i did cave and try to send an email several months later and i could not.

that sincerely hurt more than anything else has hurt me in the world and i have had a lot of hurt. i wish i could have gotten a goodbye. i really adored them and still do.

>>32196670
why couldnt you send an email? Did they delete their account?

>>32196622

>>32196622
just reach out and reconnect problem solved or find a new chick

>>32196694
yes
>>32196761
it is a man and please end yourself. do you not know what being in love means?

>>32196299
a meaningful relationship, positive reinforcement, reassurance, lots of cuddles. i dont want to let myself fall in love ever again. too much pain.

>>32191713
i said something embarassing i wanna pee myself and cry

She was in the parking lot waiting for him when we went to take care of a last minute errond at the shop. My blood is still boiling. Yeah, I cried about it already. So shady. I dont know why you cant be honest.

should i take my antipsychotics? i am really struggling mentally.

I'm tired. I want to die, but I don't have the balls to kill myself. I want to just... not exist anymore. I wish life would get better, but I don't have the drive or energy to try hard. every job I apply to refuses to hire me because of my past work problems, the few that would hire me are so low on the totem pole that my family would disown me if I took them. college is... well, completely out of the question.

Christ, can't even enjoy video games anymore either. the ones I'm good at feel too easy, to the point I don't enjoy playing them... and the ones I'm not good at send me into depressive spirals every time I lose. just reminders of how shit I am at life. all my passions and hobbies feel that way. writing sucks now, I recognize I'm writing absolute shit but just can't seem to think of how to NOT do that. self hatred has gotten so bad that I can't even jack off anymore.

I don't enjoy daydreaming either. it just hurts to think of all the things I could have had. talking to the few friends I have isn't an option anymore considering I've poisoned all of those relationships with stupid decisions. I unfriend people whenever I get scared that they're tired of me and just repeatedly disappear. out of three people I semi-regularly talk to, I'm dropping a failed crush and another friend has pretty much said he wants nothing to do with me.

sorry for rambling, I'm gonna drink some coffee now and try to calm down. have a good day or night. life sucks, but try to enjoy something. maybe some chocolate milk. that shit is fucking delicious. hope some relief comes y'all's way. you're all my frens in suffering : )

when i was 8 a family friend forced me to have sex and called me ugly after i was just doing some cleaning right now then remembered this. my brain gives me so much distress. the only person i love is gone why do i have to live with terrible memories and the knowledge the person i love
does not care about me? i need to kill myself.

why does everyone treat ugly timid autists like shit?

HANDSOME

>>32196931
They're probably having a bad day and take it out on you because they're don't know to be a proper person

>>32196943
should i commit suicide if i will never be treated as a human by another person?

>>32196931
Because most people are cruel and evil.

>>32195566
Same anon. Kind of just accepted that I'll end it someday.

>>32196964
No. That's what those type of people want you to do.

>>32195719
Nigga sometimes the three words entails a disclosure of being that someone doesn't feel comfortable or capable of doing if they're that exhausted. It's less physical and more spiritual.

>>32197011
Me too. I prepared everything for my death and honestly it feels good to know that at any time I want I can just painlessly end it all.

>>32197031
Good luck. Hopefully life turns around for us, but if not, I'll see you on the other side.

>>32197040
I strongly believe there is no other side.

I went out with two women from work, we grabbed some dinner and went clubbing afterwards, and we all got kind of drunk. Now I did not have any real feelings besides friendship with the, but at the end of the night one of them made a move on me and fast forward we were making out and very close to having sex.

The next day she wants to know how I want to proceed, because she feels like I dont like like her - which is kind of true. I told her I dont not like her and would like to start dating just to see where we could end up and she agreed. Week later and I regret this immensely as it somehow always feels awkward when I am talking to her. And to make things worse, the other girl who we were with is someone I connect with a lot more except she is not as beautiful.

What can i do? She is pretty hot and has an amazing body, so I wouldnt mind hanging it in there and then saying goodbye but I would feel too much like an asshole if i did that i think

It's time for me to make sacrifices

i got the body pillow from the spare bedroom. i will hold this every night now as i fall asleep and try to hope it will make me feel better.

>>32197044
Might be true, might be not true.

>>32197128
There is no afterlife.

I have nothing against people who choose to be child-free, but those who hate children or hate people who decide to have children are the scum of the earth.

>>32197044
But you dont know for sure and therefore you must submit to Pascal's wager

>>32197318
Are you winning, son?

>>32197342
No, I'm losing. And if I fail, humanity fails with me.

>>32191713
I'm never going to find a wife. There aren't any single women of my type here.
I'm going to kill myself and make it look like an accident.

>>32197318
It might be hard for you to believe but I know it for sure.

>>32197536
If you know for sure then belief wouldnt enter into it. Share your proof. Truly I would love nothing more.

The desire to erase myself is stronger than the desire to continue striving for perfection, it appears.

>>32197539
Consciousness, your personality thoughts and beliefs arise from the proper functioning of the brain.
Once the brain stops functioning, so do the aforementioned things.

booked my first therapy appointment ever today after getting a bit too close to that
I don't really believe in it but I hope it can make me a bit less of a failure somehow

I fucked up

I'm 24 and still jobless. I graduated from university at 23 with masters degree in computer science. I can't write a single line of code. Hence I learned ux design. And I got internship that advertised as ui ux but it was a no code web design job. I did that internship for 4.5 months. From that October 15 2023 I'm jobless.

My parents are getting old and tired with their body and want to retire but cannot cuz I still don't have job.

I still need lot of skills even for intern position. So I'm learning those too but I am seeing pain of my parents.

My sister has wedding in December, everyone's going to be there. All people are going to ask me about my job, I am not ready.

Competition for job is extremely high. 1000+ applications for 1 job post.

I sometimes help mother in her work but she wants to retire now but not retiring cuz I don't have job.

We have depressed environment in our despite my sisters wedding.

God, please insert skills in my brain quickly. I know it's impossible.

To gain skills it takes time effort and practice.

Also I need to network irl,

>>32196622
In all honesty you might not get much of any relief. You can’t overcome it when someone creates a boundary that strong. Only they can choose to let you back in at all and they might just never do that. If your actual quality of life is suffering maybe explore what options you have for healing. Could be trying new things, travel, deep dive into your interests, psychedelics geared towards overcoming your trauma, or seeking more conventional mental health professionals. It’s a shame they might have made you feel less than whole but with time you can eventually come to see that you can be

I took 9 quetiapine and now my body is heavy but my mind is still upset

going against my gut and giving this person a chance. I hope they're worth it.

:/

File: guess ill die.jpg (31 KB, 459x321)

31 KB JPG

Any general suicide note advice? Totally not killing myself, need it for writing a suicidal character in a novel.

>>32197888
"Please lower the casket to Running In The 90s"

\(^o^)/

>>32197888
>Any general suicide note advice?
>blah blah blame everyone but yourself
>blah blah muh sad and alone
>blah blah im extremely fortunate to be in a 1st or even 2nd world country but im not grateful and some girl or something stupid made me do this

Guys, it's the Con Air song!!

My mom almost blew up my dog.

>>32197875
>>32197927
me and my ex until he killed himself

Can I kill myself with Fluoxetin, Reagila, Bisoprolol, Quetiapine and Paracetamol?

And Lithium

>>32197959
I'm sorry to hear that. How are you holding up?

>>32197955
what the fuck happened

i am listening. despite the fact that you are gay constantly, i am actually still listening.

I like pretending that I'm upset at something to bait responses or acting irrationally obsessed with something. It's very funny and brings me tons if joy.

>>32197959
Damn, sad to hear.
Sex?

We haven't spoken in months but these past weeks I have been thinking nonstop about her. It's the only thought that brings me peace. My life doesn't make any sense without her. I need her back...

>>32198002
its been a while I'm fine now but a few days ago I cleaned my room out and found letters he wrote me before we lived together and sobbed like a bitch

Z,B... I loved you. I loved you both. I'm sorry and thank you everything.

Today is the day I let my hope die.

>>32195763
This type of stuff is why I'm hesitate to fuck a non-virgin as a virgin. If I gave up my v-card to someone who sees me as a stepping stone, I would be completly destroyed.

>>32198189
Fuck. I'm sorry.

Do you really think that I like all of this or that it makes me feel powerful? It’s so draining and it makes me feel sad and I don’t hate you at all

>>32196829
I hope things get better for you anon.
>sorry for rambling
This is what this thread is for, to let things out, don't worry.

What I do know is I'm given the time of day and that means something or other

>It's probably the Belgians. The Belgian in our circle he talks about things so cautious as if he navigates a mine field and have yet to see him standing his ground once.
That’s literally me. I hate it so much.

I don’t think I relate to anyone and it makes me feel like shit

I don’t like to talk about myself

you will never feel an ounce of guilt for abusing me when we were friends and then harassing me for over a year afterward. once i have committed suicide you will move onto your next victim.

>>32195476
Have bigger problems than Poland. I don't even think about Poland, although it looks like a pretty country from photographs.

Touch starved middle aged man + Young unstable girl with daddy issues
Name a more iconic duo

My entire identity revolves around being a cool laid back guy with hair... I'm so fucked. I could either get plugs or jump off a bridge. Both would be quite satisfying I'm sure.

>>32198774
Suicide pact couple

>>32194450
I made it without cutting, I didn't lose my 1,100 day streak. Its so hard. All I could think about in class was how much better it would feel if I could bleed and focus on that instead of everything else.

I'm so sorry to everybody I constantly let down. I can't support all of my friends, none of my friends want me to talk about my stuff. I've talked 3 people down from suicide, none of them know how close I am.
I made it another day clean, though.

>>32198735
You forgot about Poland!?

no sex, addicted to porn, alone. Depressed and angry. Nothing new, i know. I just can't keep going on like this, my head is fucked up. Should I give up alchool? I wonder. I'v been riding my bike and going to the GYM, but for what? In the end, it's always there, that feeling of dread. I'm tired, frens. I wish i could believe in a brighter tomorrow.

There’s no safe place to vent anymore. Anonymous posts are getting read out loud at work. There’s someone constantly driving by my house speaking to me as though I’m a plural person aka multi personality schizo. Nothing I say is going to stop the insanity. Crypto is even worse, Developers have turned their rugs into a religious movement. They’re doing me a favor stealing my money according to them.

>>32199059
I hate looking at anyone with pity, because I feel like that's what everyone does to me and not give me warmth. But I am now looking at you with pity, but I wish I could give you some warmth.

Trapped in the mental health system god I want to be free

>>32199134
Can we swap

It's like I operate with exactly 5% of my brain when I'm in society. I can't answer a SINGLE FUCKING thing.
>Favourite video game?
Uhhhhh...
>What did you do on the weekend?
Ummm....
>What did he say a few moments ago?
Hmm... I... don't know.
>Favourite movie? What have you watched?
H-Huh? Lemme think about that.

I can't remember a single fact about my life or anything else. It's like I have some kind of amnesia that activates when I'm talking to people. This is why I can't maintain a conversation because I take a startling amount of pauses. People definitely think I'm intellectually disabled. It's culminated into me forgetting words too, so I become a stuttering fool when asked a simple question.

It's depressing because I'm legitimately top-notch when it comes to academics and free recall. I'm very analytical and I've got a ton of advanced knowledge. I'm completely different when I'm alone and am able to use my mind.

File: 1714344632484052.png (76 KB, 799x600)

76 KB PNG

I hope I'm not just being used as some kind of '2nd boyfriend' for emotional connection purposes. If I can't be the 1st then I shouldn't be giving you that.

>>32199171
Be direct, be firm. Now.

>>32199176
It's gonna sound schizo as fuck if I just tell her that. I shouldn't.

>>32199154
>It's depressing because I'm legitimately top-notch when it comes to academics and free recall. I'm very analytical and I've got a ton of advanced knowledge. I'm completely different when I'm alone and am able to use my mind.
Heh I know this feel. Privately I'm hyperrational and analytical but my public self is very humble and shy, possibly underdeveloped. I seem to put most of my brainpower towards accommodating others so I kind of temporarily forget myself around others.

>>32199181
Wanting clarity isn’t schizophrenia.

>>32199154
You’re literally me. Best thing to do is to just immerse yourself with fun things while you’re alone.

Since homosexuality's the most extreme form of sexism, a hypothetical vigilante who spent his nights finding gay people and beating them to a pulp would be practicing anti-sexism.

is there such a thing as a chemical to help me quit porn? one that doesn't kill my desire to create and live?

where can I practice having conversations with human beings

>>32199237
A partner

>>32199251
Wherever you got routinely.

>>32197293
They're not. You're scum for thinking that way

i still only love you.

Feels fitting to post this here because we met on this fucking board.

I'm not really upset that things ended. I'm more upset about how you ended it. Two years together. We were supposed to be best friends. All for you to just start ignoring me and break it off only when I confront you? After what you went through with whatever his fuckin name was when we met, I cannot believe that you would turn around and do the same thing to me. I can see now that I was being used, even if that was not explicitly your intent. I could never bring myself to hate you, but by God, I never want to think about you again. All of the good is forever stained by what happened at the end.

>>32199398
No you don’t

>>32199465
you're right. this isn't for you.

My childhood wasn't great but I was never really hit so I'm not allowed to complain about it.

>>32198959
>I wish i could believe in a brighter tomorrow.
Try to use reason, explain to yourself why a brighter future is not possible for you, find what is stopping you from finding the bridge that leads to a better tomorrow, you need to find the real source of the problem in order to fight it.
> I'v been riding my bike and going to the GYM
That is a good start, I hope you are eating properly and getting enough rest, how long have you been doing it? you shouldn't stop at least until you see some good results, any goals like losing weight or toning a specific part? how is your sleep schedule doing?

File: sigh.jpg (50 KB, 496x615)

50 KB JPG

I haven't been able to relax or sleep well for the last 10+ years. The only times I've relaxed are right after surgery i.e. anesthetics and when I tried a sleeping pill from my ex (Stilnoct) once.

It's fucking destroying me currently. I feel so stiff and painful after waking up which ruins my days and I get tired so fast. For example, I stayed up from 08-19 yesterday, then slept from 19 to 06. Not even 12 hours. Repeat each day.

I recently got a "team checkup" by a team of doctors and they said "Well yeah uuh shits stiff as hell bro" without any conclusions. Which, like, yeah I've known that for years but give me some help and/or solutions. I feel a bit hopeless considering I'll get a kid next year and it's already affecting my ability to work, how will I handle it since my body is already falling apart? I feel like I am disappointing my wife so much by not being able to be at 100% all the time.

> Yes I've had blood tests and no it didn't show anything
> Yes the Thyroid and testo are good
> No I don't have sleep apnea

do you really think that if they made porn for eating a girls ass from behind i wouldn't be spending hours watching that? i don't know what it is but just burying my face.... no... of course you wouldn't understand. to give is to receive. my ex girlfriend face fucked me... i'm such a slut. :(

man u eat dis shit dawg it make you shit Flubber

It’s actually fucked up that I’ve antagonised you so many times but the second you do anything to antagonise me I fall apart and have an emotional breakdown. I’m the one who has been unfair to you

I love my life :)

File: i love my life.png (2.07 MB, 1400x1400)

2.07 MB PNG

>>32199591

I’m sorry for everything I just rlly need you

I'm not going to get a raise, 3 years and I barely make as much money as a freshly graduated junior. Next year I will leave this city, I must, I have to.

>>32199660
barely make more than*

I'm about as pathetic as you can get.

>>32199734
What’s wrong with you?

>>32199734
Consider how at this point you can only get better

I did absolutely nothing today and it is bringing me insane, I'll try to do some cardio, it helps me to feel calmer

"could you like my asshole"

for what it's worth I am really sorry. I didnt know you felt that way.

>>32199805
Sorry for what?

>>32199809
betraying your feelings.

>>32199796
lick

>>32199820
How?

>>32199827
admiring the crown moldings with other lady's at court. :(

>>32199828
ladies

>>32199828
stop fucking trolling and be serious

>>32199837
i only do that because you're probably about to flip on me next. Sleeping with other women probably... although, it may be something else that could have hurt you, I think that's what makes the most sense.

>>32199839
if that's true, that is literally the most ironic hell possible... truly...

Fight the future.

>>32196096
For full disclosure, I find some of the music enjoyable. But as a culture it's beyond retarded. I mean it's hilarious because it's a bunch of dindus killing each other while still crying hard done by. But it is definitely retarded.

I owe it to the people around me to be as cool and interesting as possible

I've been browsing incel-related websites for the past 2 months. It's funny to think that I didn't like them myself. Then I realized that by definition I'm involuntarily celibate. I don't really act like a defeatist IRL and try to fit in. I already do a lot for myself, I'm enrolled in college and a language course, I work full-time (even though I hate the job) and I go to the gym. I'm just so depressed because I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how to have conversations and I don't have any friends.

So much for self-improvement, fml

I miss her. I sleep on a floor. It's been over a month since she left. I'm an angry retard who got mad over a stupid kiss with another girl. I lost my close friend who still knows them both. I'm afraid I have nothing left and I'm going to kms. I don't know how to fix my life.

>>32199893
Fight!!!!

I realized my dad's been gooning from like 7am-9:30am every day and I've lost all respect for him

Letting out grim emotion from 2 days:
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME YOU BUCKED UP BACKWARDS YZARC ENTITY!

WHY DO YOU KEEP MAULING MY EMOTIONS AND KEEP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!?

YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING BAD ACCORDING TO YOUR BOOK.

WHY LIVE WHEN THIS POS ENTITY AND WORLD IS NEGLECTING ITS OWN.


GOSH DARN IT I WANT TO KNIFE MY THROAT AND SHOOT MY HEAD OFF. FUCKS SAKE LEAVE ME A LOAN OR LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

FRIGGOFF RECKONING CHRIST PSYCHE NOGGER

I feel bad about potentially making people feel bad

>>32202203
But this of course only gets framed in my stupid bizarro world where the people I'm talking about like/don't mind me and then the moment I remember people don't actually like me it all gets flipped and I'm just really really stupid

>>32202244
Maybe I should just say I'm riddled with anxieties that are embarrassing and don't make sense and my life is a stupid fucking mess

I just wish... I wish... I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her

Maybe I'm too reserved and I should be more weird about it? Like bby grl I wanna squeeze you like a ripe lemon on a hot summer day, bby I want you on my person like a lump sum. I'd gather all the plastic bags in your house and put them in the drop off outside Target. Rice or lo mein? No I'm there right now. Okay I can go somewhere else but I might be late. Someone tell the sultan, this rapscallion has nabbed your heart with his grubby fingers and is jumping from rooftop to rooftop with it.

My bf is getting a job closer to me so he can move in and be with me. Honestly so impressed he got the job he is going for orientation tomorrow. Holy shit. It's happening. Maybe life is finally gonna get better for me with a nice man around the house who loves me

>Wrong again, fool!