I've never been one to care about presentation, or other's perceptions of me, but ever since I've started talking to this girl and hanging around women more in general I can't help but sometimes notice how "lacking" in masculinity I can be. Things as minute as the way I stand, or my hand movements. I've been meticulously studying my own physique recently and I fucking hate it. I've always been the guy that makes gay jokes and can hang out with girls no problem and whatnot, which is probably why I do hang out with so many women so often (and why the girl that I'm currently with is with me in the first place), but honestly I can't help the nagging feeling that I need to change, become more masculine, and fit into my stereotypical male role. Maybe I'm just irrationally paranoid after years of mind-numbing social media usage and posts about "traditional masculinity" or whatnot.
>>31106996most of these issues like posture etc can be fixed by going to the gym
>>31106996Watch old westerns
Finally a guy with women friends that can atleast admit the reason why hes able to have "women friends" in the first place.Admitting the problem is half the battle. Now go build a massive fireplace out of heavy stones into the nearby woods, then sit in front of that fire thinking about your life and what you could have done otherwise and everytime its raining outside go do a 8 mile run.
>>31107665Except I don't dislike having female friends, and there are many benefits to having them as well. I'm more concerned with my own presentation, not who I'm concerning myself with.
>>31106996Similar situation here, it's mostly nonsense worries, I've found. I'd say get some exercise routine for posture, general health, cardio etc - keep your body in order. Most of the muscle obsessed guys have genuine body dysmorphia t b h. Not feeling "masculine enough" indicates some body dysmorphia too, but if you can overlook it, you should. Maybe find something else that helps you feel manly.
Are there any specific goals you have that you suspect aren’t being met because you’re not masculine enough? It doesn’t sound like you have a problem. (Biased because I’m not attracted to hypermasculine men.)
I’m a fairly “feminine” woman and notice masculine qualities in men that aren’t often discussed (eg teeth) and I think it’s similar for other women. You probably don’t realize that things like the way you stretch, sit, yawn, rub your eyes all have a masculine quality to them. So, maybe you don’t have bulging muscles or smell like ass or speak unnecessarily loudly or whatever. Extreme characteristics have less appeal anyway. You’re going to be the perfect balance to somebody. Imagine you work hard to change yourself and then your dream partner rejects you because they’re not into really masculine guys. Unless you have a reason to change, don’t. Hone your natural qualities. Learn another language. I really hope literally any of this helps
>>31110755I am planning on getting back in the gym consistently, I want to shred some weight and then beef up a bit - not to bodybuilder levels, but around a "bulky athlete" level, if that makes sense. I can't really think of anything else that would help me feel manlier, mostly because physical appearance is like the only thing that I think of when I think of masculinity. >>31111609When you say goals, what do you mean? Like things I think I'm not achieving because I'm not masculine enough? Maybe having many women fawn over me all the time, although that's not really a concern of mine at the moment considering that I'm about to enter a relationship. I have no real "reason", except for the nagging suspicion that all the people around me (the women especially) secretly look down on me because of my lacking masculinity desu. >>31111642This does somewhat help, thank you. I feel like I can tell that I'm being unreasonable to an extent but that still doesn't stop the desire to change myself, it's weird. Maybe I just need time. Also, can you explain what you mean by "eg teeth"? What's an example of masculine teeth? This is genuinely interesting to me, I've never heard that before.
>>31106996Muscles have nothing to do with it dude. Being assertive, competitive, dominant, willing not to take shit from people is more importantI’ve Cucked roided up dudes before and I’m a pretty boy who spends all day looking at clothes and trying cologne samples
>>31106996wait a minute….u have a gf….and you’re still worried about not being masculine enough…………BITCH IF YOU WEREN’T MASCULINE U WOULDN’T GET PUSSYanyway i kinda feel like you, but i have valid reason to feel that way because i never got a gf and everyone thinks i am a faggot, you’re just an insecure mofo like thoses women that think they’re ugly but get D every daynigga shit the fuck up useless subhuman, who the fuck cares what the normalfags think? are you happy with yourself? if not then change. if yes, then keep being “””””””””affeminate”””””””””dumbass bitch sex haver
>>31111947>but around a "bulky athlete" level, if that makes senseBut you're not an athlete. Do you even know what athletes look like, or do you have a cartoonishly exaggerated image of their physique? Most people do. One thing that blew my mind was looking up an elite gym challenge and seeing a video of this one little guy absolutely crushing it. He looked totally average, indistinguishable in any way from any dude you may walk past on the street. But the fella had crazy strength and endurance. At that moment I realised that all the weird aesthetic shit I'd been sold was all bullshit, and it's all stuff pushed by and for body dysmorphia people. If you want to be "manly" in the traditional sense, build the masculine body you need, not what you think resembles a masculine body in appearance. Do the kind of physical activity that will get you a healthy physique. If you've seen those old photos of farmers, those guys are lean, stringy, compact. Their physiques are polished, not artificially bloated. These were typically "masculine" men who developed their physiques according to the work they were doing, because they needed to do that work in order to make a living. It served a function that was not at all aesthetic. Keep this in mind when considering what ideal you chase after, and why.>I can't really think of anything else that would help me feel manlier, mostly because physical appearance is like the only thing that I think of when I think of masculinity.This is the bigger problem for guys today IMO. If you have an interest in this, I recommend you take a look at Plato's dialogue "Laches" (and maybe also "Rival Lovers", although that one is a pseudo-dialogue afaik). You can also try Storm of Steel by Ernst Junger as an example of a turn of the century adventurous young men of good breeding. Try to get the uncensored version. The book gives a living example of a masculinity that is "unforced" and not aesthetic.
>>31106996Hi,I know that feeling, this voice in your head. I'd like to tell you that this is just the patriarchy doing it's work (which is true) and that you don't have to worry (which is also true), but you probably don't *feel* this attitude (neither do I). We as humans just aren't rational beings. We can think logically, that's for sure. But we don't act logically. Emotions, feelings, doubts are all part of our human being. 4chan is really not there place where you wanna be to learn this. Most people here are extremely dogmatic about "dude just do X" and "free will" and "redpilled based chad" stuff. Don't buy that.You can be happy, you just don't know how. I feel you, bud. I wish you the best of luck on this journey! :3Have a good one!
>>31108759Jack up your test, faggot. Lift heavy, 5x5.
>>31111642This is an interesting lie, presented very well
>>31111970That's all testosterone, like muscles. Plus serotonin and whatnot. They're related to each other, you gigafaggot.
>>31114500it's not a lie. women do notice stuff that's masculine in appearance and behaviour that's more subtle and we as men give no attention to. for example hand/wrist size. how you sit, crack your neck or fingers, if you smoke how you holda cig, how you look at things. a girl once told me I have very masculine eyes. I didn't understand what she meant. I guess because they're small and sharp and deep sit. little things like that
>>31106996Yeah I relate to this. I worry that I'm too effeminate and act like a pussy. I want to reinvent myself as a loud, confident, cocky man instead of some timid "nice guy" beta piece of shit but am not sure how to do it.
>>31106996Ironically the most non masculine thing you're doing is being insecure about if you're manly man enough. Just do whatever the fuck you want and own it, I can guarantee your balls won't fall off barring serious bodily harm
>>31106996>become more masculineWell it's easy to improve your image with new clothes.Leather biker's jacket.Grow a moustache.Can't get a more masculine image than that.
>>31107622This. But no Spaghettis. Only good old hippie-boomer-malding John Ford, Howard Hawks type of stuff. Anything with John Wayne really.
>>31106996I can relate. Recently I've been trying to let go of those expectations and let myself become the person I want to be, rather than some ideal. It's hard but holding yourself to a rigid standard will only make you miserable. I've decided to stop listening to what men say women want, and listen to women instead.
