>>31114562
Fuck off.
Getting women is gay.

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>>31114562
For guys here who have rosters, how do you do it? I tried dealing with 2 women at the same time and I just decided it wasnt worth it. How do you handle multiple women? For context, im 22 and never had a gf, so maybe thats partly why.

>>31114597
easy. but I have ASPD ( diagnosed) so keeping things surface levels comes easy to me. it's only exhausting if you get emotionally involved. you need to enjoy the thrill of it. like women are competitive just like men are. abuse that jealousy. sometimes I fuck one girl and then have the other, the most jealous one, give me a bj with the crusty juices still on my dick. stuff like that makes it worth it

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>>31114616
I think I'll just stick to 1 woman at a time. Thanks anyway.

>>31114703
your loss my friend

>>31114597
>I tried dealing with 2 women at the same time
you gotta pump those number up, those are rookie numbers in this racket, it's easier if you have many girls with low availability that see you as too much of a player to be a good boyfriend rather than a few girls with a lot of free time that all think you will become exclusive

Do you think story likes are some sort of weird sign or it’s just cope?

She’s austistic, lives far away from me and now has a boyfriend that’s completely opposite to what she described as her “ideal guy” (big military fascist guy v.s. reddit streamer)

We meet every three months and I never felt interest from her but now that the has a boyfriend she insists in meeting without him and compliments me / told me to visit her hotel room.

I was already dating other people but she suddenly started talking to me again after being in a relationship - she now likes and replies every single story with me on it. The most confusing thing was that she replied with a clapping emoji to a selfie I took in a love hotel.

I don’t want to be over invested on a friend who I can’t really plan a future together with but she seems thrilled when she learns about who I dated with through the grapevine but I wanted to cross out all this as autistic contradictions

how do i get me some bitches?

>>31115155
Non ironically, time and money.
Invest it in yourself

Health / fitness / education / business success in the case of money, social skills and pretty much trial and error when it comes to time.

Or pay whores

>>31115167
any advice that will not take years of hard work?

>>31115193
do you alread get female attenion based on your physical traits? ( face/height). If not there simply is NO easy way, unless you pay for it

>>31115207
alright, do you have any good anime or game recommendations?

>>31115141
>She’s austistic, lives far away from me and now has a boyfriend that’s completely opposite to what she described as her “ideal guy” (big military fascist guy v.s. reddit streamer)
blah, blah, blah - women's words -> straight to the trash
>told me to visit her hotel room
>she replied with a clapping emoji to a selfie I took in a love hotel
This girl wants you to dick her down, but
> don’t want to be over invested on a friend who I can’t really plan a future together with but she seems thrilled when she learns about who I dated with
You shouldn't since you'll get too attached and not be able to treat her like the dumb unstable whore she is

>>31114616
Tips for manipulating then into getting what you want? I have a really bad fear of rejection which is why dating apps make it easier but women on there are getting more and more wise to shit which makes it harder.

Finding a girlfriend is literally the hardest thing in the world for me, meanwhile there's all these idiots falling ass-backwards into relationships without trying. What a fucking joke.

>match with girl on Sunday
>exchange mesages
>keep it brief and simple
>pick and place, date, and time
>messages me today saying I must not be interested
>ask her what she means
>tells me I havent messaged her since setting up the date
New dating meta dropped? I thought texting her after setting up everything is an "ick." This is so annoying, world conflict is looking more enticing than having to deal with modern dating.

>>31115193
Yes.

If you want specifics, you'll have to provide some yourself.

In general, one gets bitches by said bitches perceiving that you possess traits that they desire their man to have. So, present desirable traits while avoiding presenting undesirable traits.
It all boils down to that.

>>31115207
>do you alread get female attenion
A surprising amount of men, including my past self, has no idea what female attention looks like.

>>31115393
How often do you pleasantly interact with women?

>>31115386
>>31115386
you can't play that game if you're fearful friend. it's a bit like lying. you have two type of lies. the ego-driven lie ( 'my dad works at nitendo', 'I have so many friends'), the kind that makes you feel humiliated when you get found out, or the cold goal-driven lie. I lie to women all the time. about my job, my past, my goals. it's fun to me to play a different character. so even if I get rejected or found out it doesn't bother me whatsoever

the first step is to drop your anxiety. if you're anxious you won't amount to anything. it's literally the mind killer

>>31115433
>>messages me today saying I must not be interested
Unless she specifically said she was cancelling, this was her getting nervous and feeling like you're not interested and *fishing* for reassurance and was hoping you'd throw her an apology and explanation.

You could have salvaged this by literally just explaining that you haven't had tremendous success online, has heard that ’texting her after setting up everything is an "ick."’, and didn't want to screw things up by texting something stupid before you got a chance to see her irl. She'd likely call you a moron, chat a bit, and still go on the date.

Girls can ghost effortlessly. If she shows up tell you what you did wrong, you're supposed to apologize, not defend yourself, and try to make it up to her.
That's why she is telling you.

You guys really, really have to start looking at dating from their point of view. She wasn't playing games or abiding by hidden rules. She was feeling rejected.

....or she was a bored twat. There's always that possibility but you gotta give her the benefit of the doubt and basically pretend that's not the case until she ghosts or goes steadily monosyllabic. Otherwise you'll never get anywhere.

>>31115141
>Do you think story likes are some sort of weird sign or it’s just cope?

I've learned that some girls are the living embodiment of that one social media episode of Black Mirror, where they literally do nothing but like everything that pops up on their social media.

I have a girl who looked me up, added me on instagram, liked all of my posts and stories and when I thought it was obvious she wanted me to ask her out she ignored my DMs. It *can* be a sign, but it's not guaranteed to be one. In general, it's worth trying with these girls, sure, but it could just be she thinks it's normal to interact with people and always comment/like a story or post. I think your case is more of the latter and not some secret interest.

>>31115386
>I have a really bad fear of rejection
I cured this by making my goal to get women to reject me irl and then get them to smile. It's how I got my first few dates, shit for a pleasant rejection and ended up with a date.

>>31115141
>Do you think story likes are some sort of weird sign or it’s just cope?
Clarify what the question is here. Is she interested in you? Yes. Will she initiate action on that interest? No. Will she respond positively to interest from you? No idea. More likely irl than online.

I met someone who I clicked with online and she is several states away and has her own relationship and life drama. So we bonded and are erstwhile friends. We aren't incompatible, get along well, and can chat about sex stuff but nothing is ever going to come of it.
There's not much point in thinking about it too hard.

If you are hitting it off with a women at a bar is it really as simple as saying "let's continue this back at your place"?

>>31114597
>How do you handle multiple women?
Mono tasking.
One woman at a time, fully engaged, and setting up boundaries. It helps if at least one of them has other demands on their time.
And just talking to women online is pretty effortless. My friend has 5-6 actively chatting at a time. There's only a couple that he finds worth putting in actual effort. Some flake, some ghost, some ignore him for a week.
A few lines of text is literally seconds of effort.

>>31115448
There are no opportunities to interact with women that aren't forced PUA shit.

>>31115443
I literally have been talking to female acquaintances about some topic casually, mention some conversation with some other woman I had, mention some random funny detail now that I remember it since I was talking about this conversation
and they just IMMEDIATELY get fixated on explaining to me how much of an idiot I am and that she was OBVIOUSLY trying to set things up with me and interested

idk how this consistently happens, I am certain these women aren't interested, so many times they are completely out of my league, sure maybe they were just fucking with them or something and seeing if I take the bait, but I don't think that bait was even there, and the others, I don't think the stuff they are pointing out is at all showing interest.

iv definitely fumbled some chances, thats for sure, but women I speak to act like I have way more opportunities than I do and these obvious things are and I just don't fucking get it.
this even happened with my sister, was with her and my nieces doing some shit, she ran into her friend who was doing a similar thing but with her younger sister instead of younger brother, chatted to her a little bit and made conversation while we looked after the kids and my sister/her sister talked, when we walked away my sisters turns to me and asks if I got her number
I was just like wtf are u talking about, apparently her friend and her said I really hit it off with her sister and she was acting super into me and flirting hard and that we should definitely organize something to get them together and I am just like ??? bitch are u seeing shit? we said like 5 things and I saw no signs, what signs did you see? I swear it was just her/them being bored and wanting to meddle or some shit and I stg this is whats happening usually and there are no signs.

fucked if I know though. Maybe ur right and I just don't know, but jfc with what women call signs but can't explain I don't think so

Yesterday, I asked out a girl so hot that going up to talk to her made my heart rate skyrocket, which was both an odd and new experience for me. I'd say after 10 seconds of talking to her I was able to calm down and treat her like a normal girl. I asked her if she wanted to get lunch and she said she didn't want to get involved in anything because she was leaving the country soon, for a while. Turns out she has an internship abroad. Chatted with her a little more and then left to do my workout. I coulda asked her to go as friends in the moment, but it might be for the better that I stuck to my guns and didn't.

I'm posting this because I just want to say that my only regret is not asking her out sooner! This girl had been coming in to study for an hour or two before working out at the gym for MONTHS, and I never talked to her until now in the final weeks of the semester. If you see a girl regularly sitting out somewhere, go talk to her! It was a lot easier than I thought it'd be. Oh, and I guess my second, minor regret was being so psyched out at first that I couldn't even think of trying to get her to laugh.

>>31115578
>There are no opportunities to interact with women that aren't forced PUA shit.
It sounds like you are confused.
I am not asking about opportunities to hit on women.
I was asking if anon, possibly you:
A. How often he interacts with people, as in "physically speaks with"
B. How often those people happen to be women
C. How often those interactions are pleasant for both him and them

The guys falling backwards into gfs are almost certainly interacting with people pleasantly. That's often the first step towards getting a gf.

And despite your assertion, there are countless opportunities to interact with people, to varying degrees based on population density. People are everywhere. The planet is covered with them.

>>31115595
You need to stop being afraid of girls and lower your autism shields

https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1bqyh7c/the_advice_i_40yo_would_give_to_a_younger_me/

Just about to go for a walk and figured someone here might find this useful.

Don't bother @ing me with hurr durr 4chan is a super secret club for l33t blah blah blah. 4chan and reddit have had the same users for about a decade now.

>>31115595
First:
>maybe they were just fucking with them or something and seeing if I take the bait
This doesn't happen with adults. This is literally schoolyard bullshit.
Maaaaybe some bored immature thots, but they're obvious. It's rarer like coworkers bullying you which also shouldn't ever happen.
You need to excise this consideration from your mind.

>Maybe ur right and I just don't know
We're right. You're clueless. Once you get a gf and they're around you all the time, you see tiny micro expressions and indications of affection and attraction.
Some of it is upticked attention but there's a quality I call "gooey eyes" I'll post a description of in a bit.
Once you know what it looks like, you'll spot all the signs you've been missing. You know, after you already have a gf and they're not remotely as helpful.

Many men are missing many signs. There are lots more once you're in a relationship too.

>>31115578
If you label all possible interactions with women as "forced PUA shit" then there truly are no opportunities. Anywhere there are people you can have opportunities to interact with them. If you start imagining all interactions with strangers as "cold approaching," you've already lost.

Learn to be a social person first, talking to both men and women in a friendly manner. If you are comfortable shooting the shit with literally anyone, it'll be easier to ask a girl out. I'll talk to old ladies in the waiting room at the doctor's office. If I get an opportunity to talk to someone, I'll take it. The only way to get better at a skill is to practice. People are more willing to talk to strangers than you think, so long as you don't give off serial killer or sperg vibes.

>>31115739
Legitimately solid chunk of advice.
Top notch stuff

>>31115739
back to plebbit fag

>>31115676
>The guys falling backwards into gfs are almost certainly interacting with people pleasantly.
Only because they got lucky and women have shit taste in men.

reading these threads made me realize that i wasn't being delusional and she was actually into me. fml

>>31115776
Just because you talk to some old ladies at a grocery store doesn't mean that you are going to meet a girl who finds you attractive. You are talking about horseshit.

>>31115829
>Only because they got lucky and women have shit taste in men.
Not necessarily.
Also, why can't women have shit taste in men and date you?

My point is that pleasant interaction with women is necessary. Step one.

>>31115846
No, but if you're more comfortable talking to anyone you're gonna be more comfortable talking to, well, anyone, including the pretty girl you randomly meet and vibe with.

>>31115894
It's luck. My coworker is a dumb as a rock, gormless, has rotten yellow teeth, his ears stick out, and he stinks, but he has an average-looking gf and a baby on the way.

>>31115155
Get ripped, get a good job, improve your social skills

>>31115910
>including the pretty girl you randomly meet and vibe with.
Except this scenario will never happen, therefore it's silly to entertain such a notion. There are no women vibing with some of us. Women are basically a hivemind. If you can find one woman who likes you, you can probably find another. If you can't find one woman who likes you, give up.

>>31115846
>Just because you talk to some old ladies at a grocery store doesn't mean that you are going to meet a girl who finds you attractive.
And just because you can dribble a basketball, it doesn't mean that you can shoot hoops. But you're not even on the court. You're on the sidelines bitching that the NBA is unfair.

Meanwhile, other guys are learning the fundamentals and sinking three points shots on occasion.

It's not about being the sexiest, most handsome man in the room. Average guys date all the time. Unattractive guys too, admittedly less successfully.
Guys who refuse to try literally never succeed.

But if you want to believe that you are right to never try, that's your choice. Good luck finding happiness. Not sure why you're itt

>>31115916
A girl likes a guy not necessarily because of the way he looks, smells or acts, but because of the way he makes her feel.

Try listing the redeeming qualities he has instead of just what's wrong with him.

>>31115916
In that case, sure. Luck exists. I had a first date coincidentally in an empty restaurant when my parents dropped in to eat too. I laughed like a maniac and the date did not go well.

But luck and fate isn't everything. Even it was, you wouldn't have a masterful knowledge of it.

>>31115923
>If you can't find one woman who likes you, give up.
Why are you in this thread again? Is it bait arguments? Ah. Good luck with that.

>>31115947
I'm the voice of reason.

>>31115929
>A girl likes a guy not necessarily because of the way he looks, smells or acts, but because of the way he makes her feel.
Well put.

>>31115925
>Meanwhile, other guys are learning the fundamentals and sinking three points shots on occasion.
See, this is the mistake you make. There is no "learning" to this. The meme "just be yourself" couldn't be any truer. The problem is that being ourselves simply isn't good enough for a lot of us. We just don't have the looks or the personality type that women generally go for.

>>31115950
Reason to give up? To what end?
To encourage anons not to seek happiness?
Yeah. No. You're here to be a shit.
I appreciate you being obvious about it.

>>31115929
>Try listing the redeeming qualities he has instead of just what's wrong with him.
None. He's a fucking pleb.

>>31114562
>meet woman on hinge
>we talk for two weeks before setting up a date
>we're both degenerates, like same anime and vidya
>have good conversations, but she's really shy and obviously holding back
>ask for her number and to hang out at my place but she makes it clear she wants to take things slow
>after our third date (third weekend in a row), she messages me out of the blue and says that she "never felt a romantic spark" and therefore we should stop seeing each other
could someone explain to me what I did wrong? I wanted to respect her boundaries but it sounds like that had the opposite effect and she felt like I wasn't interested, which made her not interested
Also, why do so many people give up after three fucking dates? Do people think this is enough time to get to know someone?

>>31115963
>To encourage anons not to seek happiness?
False hope is worse than despair. Many of the anons here (myself included) don't stand a chance. I'm here to counteract the gaslighters who are leading them down the garden path.

>>31114562
FRIENDLY REMINDER SINCE PEOPLE KEEP FALLING FOR IT
>IGNORE the posters who complain, who have given up, or who insist that there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can fuck off to.
BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!

>>31115971
>Also, why do so many people give up after three fucking dates?
Uhh, most attractive normies peace out after one date if they aren't feeling it and have other options

>>31115498
>You guys really, really have to start looking at dating from their point of view. She wasn't playing games or abiding by hidden rules.

You say this like they aren't just doing random shit sometimes that makes no sense.

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>>31115968
>the guy who's happy with a wife and a kid on the way has no redeeming qualities and is 'a fucking pleb'

And you call yourself the voice of reason? Maybe you should consider that it's you who doesn't get it, when he's the one that's happy and in a loving relationship. Even the guy I know who I think has a gf out of his league has SOMETHING going on that makes the existence of their relationship logically make sense.

>>31115959
>We just don't have the looks or the personality type that women generally go for.
For others reading: there is no "One type".

Anon's next move is to post surveys of popular trends to suggest that since there's a popular type, no other type can succeed

>>31115741
I've been in relationships and I still don't think they send as clear of signs as they think they do. There are a few times I look back and can tell or get the signals from girls I'm not attracted to but they're definitely fickle and can always fall back into "you misread me".

What do you do after you've gotten the girl's attention and it's clear she like you?

>>31116004
Really? I'm a loser and I usually get around 3 dates

>>31115971
Did you kiss her?

>>31116024
>For others reading: there is no "One type".
Yes there is. Women show very little variation in their behavior and tastes ESPECIALLY when it comes to men.

>>31116047
No. I tried to kiss her on the last date and she said she wasn't ready.

>>31116013
>Maybe you should consider that it's you who doesn't get it, when he's the one that's happy and in a loving relationship
Because his girlfriend's probably retarded. Like I said, women have shit taste.

>>31116050
Ok, at least you tried. Was there any flirty conversation or touching before that?

>>31116058
Definitely flirty conversations and a little bit of touching, but I was still being very mindful of her boundaries that she set initially, and that she wasn't comfortable with too much flirting before we got to know each other.

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>>31114562
Any success stories with picking up women in the gym? There's this one I've spotted twice and wondering how to invent an excuse and break the ice with her.
I train with the barbell, she's at the machines, I can forgive that. Maybe joining around that? I don't think on my feet that well, I tend to overthink this shit like my brain is roasting on a spit.

I'm reasonably fit myself (but not BB physique). She's a little overweight, but very cute and usually wears band t-shirts. It hints of the type of personality I seek. She's always there with her (female) friend.

>>31116121
>Maybe joining around that?
*JOKING around that
there go my retard fingers again

>>31114597
I’m married now but before my wife I had a steady roster of up to 6 girls at once. I was never a scumbag about it or was even a player. I was genuinely just openly dating as many girls as I could in the hope to eventually find a girl I could settle down with which is what happened.

Basically you just loosely date them and let each girl know from the beginning that you are talking to other girls. You don’t literally tell them but you let them find out by just living your life as you normally do. Don’t lead any girl on and don’t obsess over a particular girl. Don’t hope one works out and vie for her attention or any of their attentions. I wasn’t outwardly trying to show the girls that I was fucking around but in the early stages they pick up on shit like maybe see you around with another girl or hear about it from friends or see your phone blowing up from the other girls. Just act casual like nothing is happening and don’t lie. Early on I tried to hide it but that would just make trouble for me so I started being open and not lying. When other women want you it makes that girl want you more in turn but depending on how you go about it will determine whether you get into a toxic environment or not. When I was open about it the girl in question either stopped talking to me or tried harder for my affection or both. Usually they would try harder because again women want a man who is wanted.

>>31115777
Thanks, tripfag...

Nice trips or gtfo desu

>>31115637
This is based and what everyone itt should be doing. I know most will read this and say this isn’t a big deal but little moments like this were foundational with learning how to get women for me. These little interactions built my confidence incredibly quickly to the point where I could approach any woman and not only expect to get a number but expect to bang her or date her. Well done bro just keep at it. Your brain races with that adrenaline rush and that feeling becomes like a drug to which you will require more and more of it to get your fix requiring you to get more bold with each interaction.

>>31116026
Oh, it's definitely not as obvious as they think it is. They do the equivalent of putting out a welcome mat thinking it's a road flare.

>friend likes a girl, wants to confess his feelings
>I tell him not to, that instead he should try flirting or finding ways to spend time together
>he goes for it anyways
>rejected
Why do so many young men fall for the confession meme? I have never seen it work and dudes don't listen when you warn them against it.

Is sending a follow request on instagram to a girl in one of your classes weird/creepy if you've never talked to her? I messed up and didn't get to talk to her and that was the last time I see her before the exams start

>>31114562
>Be me
>20
>Match with 18 y/o QT on Hinge
>End up going on a first date(Coffee and park; I go for the kiss, it's her first)
>She's kinda autistic IRL(Goes silent a lot)
>Deletes the app but has my number
>I tell her I'll be free next week

Should I try and have the next date at my place, or is it too early to fuck her? I don't wanna scare her off

>>31116121
>Any success stories with picking up women in the gym?
Several girls at the front desk of different gyms have been very flirty with me, I don't really get it, I'm pretty average looking and not very fit, like 25% bodyfat and not even big. I went out with one and after dinner she invited herself to my place for sex and we met a few other times. Another girl working out around me was making eyes at me when her boyfriend wasn't looking, then came and talked to me one day he wasn't there and told me where she worked and said to come visit her. I wasn't that into her so I didn't bother.
>wondering how to invent an excuse and break the ice with her.
>I train with the barbell, she's at the machines, I can forgive that
You could ask to work in on the machine she's using, I've ended up talking to girls that way without really trying.

>>31116401
>End up going on a first date(Coffee and park; I go for the kiss, it's her first)
>Should I try and have the next date at my place, or is it too early to fuck her?
I would say take things a bit more gradual since she's inexperienced, like go to the movies or somewhere else you can make out and invite her home after that

>>31116401
Try and take her anal virginity on the second date you retard

>>31116467
Good idea, I'll probably go for a picnic since we're from the same neighborhood, then see if she wants to head back
>>31116479
Anal sucks

>>31116121
I don't have success story from gyms, but if she is wearing band shirts and you know something about one of the bands then that is an instant conversation starter. Or even if you know other bands similar to the genre of the bands she is wearing.

>>31115637
>>31116203
I had nearly the same experience last Friday. Was sitting in the coffee shop working at my laptop, woman walks in - black converse, fringe cut, stickers all over her laptop. Almost certainly a former emo, the type I always wanted to approach back in the day but never did.
After about 2 hours wondering how to begin I heard her sniffling, I went over and offered a napkin. She was very grateful and then immediately pinned me down for a conversation. I was jumped at this, but we soon launched into it and we both visibly enjoyed each other's company. Would've got a number but she mentioned 'her husband' in passing.
Still, when she passed me later in the afternoon I got a shy glance with a smile from her. So she liked me, even though we both weren't for going there.
Not the outcome I wanted, but damn do I feel better for trying, and it was a nice moment. Even today I feel that I should just - where opportunities are possible - approach any woman I want and see how it goes. Like the side of me that invented a million terrible outcomes is much quieter now, and my mind is actually encouraging me.

>>31116625
Great advice. The more you do something the better you get at it.

>>31116625
ghey

>>31116625
what a whore. a loyal woman cuts off any long conversation with a man

>>31114562
>do well with women
>can't get over the desire for them to not be so easy
>feel like if they're easily smitten with me then they're not all that selective

Feels like once you know how it all works it's pretty easy to get a girl to like you and get her to do what you want, but I seem to have an inherent disgust with their basic nature.

Not sure what to do about this. I feel like I could have a girl if I wanted but I'd like to feel like it was because of our chemistry and not because I know the ABCs that unlocks the average female's brain.

>raised by a single mother and often feel like I think like a woman when it comes to relationships

Any advice?

Thanks.

What do you call this? which mental illness does this fall under? I know I have ADHD already.

It also doesn't exclusively occur with women, also happens trying to start convos with people in general, I won't speak unless someone talks to me first.

>see girl
>she clearly wants me to approach and talk to her
>the convo and scenario shortly after happens in my head
>do nothing
>literally can't do it, some sort of mental wall or block

I am not even panicking or getting anxiety, it feels almost identical to procrastination with tasks, In my head i tell myself I'll do it in a sec then hours pass. I just get stuck and don't know what to do. Did I fry my dopamine receptors with adderall? I was like this before but it wasn't anywhere as bad as recently.

>>31116371
>Is sending a follow request on instagram to a girl in one of your classes weird/creepy if you've never talked to her?
I think it's weird you'd even know her insta without talking to her, unless she's a friend of a friend or something. I doubt it'd work anyways, I'd try leave at the same time as her after the exam and ask her how she thinks she did like it's no big deal to chat and go from there.

>>31114562
There is no fate worse than being an Indian male

>Viewed as ugly by EVERYONE
>Not seen as "exotic" or "diverse"
>We're "perverts" just for trying to talk to women
>AFFIRMATIVE ACTION means we have to score
even higher than whites on the SAT
>Affirmative action also makes it much harder
to get a job
>Not protected by political correctness
>You can make jokes about indians all day and
even SJWs just laugh
>Viewed by SJWs as "privileged"
>Indian women date white guys all the time, but
indian men almost never get white women.
>Many of us can't even get ugly indian women
>Wiggers want to be black, koreaboos and
weebs want to be asian, but who wants to be
indian? NOBODY
>Arranged marriage you say? Enjoy being
married to a frigid cow that has sex only when
she wants a baby, treats you like an ATM, and
doesn't love you. Oh, and you'll get cucked too

The list could go on for pages. Basically, take
all of the disadvantages of being a minority, the
disadvantages of being white, amplify them,
don't add any of the advantages of either, and
add a couple unique disadvantages and that's
what most indian men have to deal with.

>>31116710
Seems like you're resorting to fantasy in order to avoid action. If you know you do this, why not just talk to them next time?

>>31116710
it's common, you just gotta go act before you can start thinking about it

My girlfriend of 8 years has recently left me. I want to date again but I have no idea where to meet girls these days. I have had a decent amount of success in the past when I was in college, but I’m 28 now and many things have changed since then. I know the usual advice would be to do cold approaches in a bar, but I’m not really into the kind of girls you find there, at least not for anything serious. So aside from bars and clubs, where should I be looking?

>>31116725
>>31116729
>why not just talk to them next time?
that's the worrisome part, I did talk with a different girl last week and it went fine but for some reason I can't do it again, clearly a me issue. I need to get out of my head and live in reality

>you just gotta go act before you can start thinking about it
I think you have the right idea, i'm basically stuck in my head 24/7, its probably better to just not think at all, blank..etc. but it doesn't help that my brain executive function is broken by nature, I can only get shit done during an adrenaline rush, caffeine just makes my mind talk non stop

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Have you EVER heard of a guy who is 25+ and turned from Virgin to Chad fucking plenty of girls?

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>>31115637
Based anon, keep it up. You live and you learn.

>>31116762
It's entirely possible. There are several steps you need to follow.

Step 1: Stop posting on this site

I don't know the other steps as I haven't gotten past step 1.

>>31116762
yeah usually involves looksmaxxing or a glowup as zoomers call it

>>31115971
bump on this? got a few replies here but no actual advice

>>31116625
Based. Personally my greatest pick up memories are of my failures or things that didn’t work out but had a similar result your story or it was just a funny weird experience. At the end of the day it’s just talking to someone. Most guys who don’t try to pick up girls are the same depressed guys who don’t converse with anyone in life ever.

I was shy growing up and I wanted to break out so anywhere I was whether a supermarket or gas station or wherever I would just start talking to people literally anyone to get myself used to casual conversation. It evolved into me becoming a dude with high verbal IQ and high body count. I’m married now so I don’t really care but it was the road that got me here. The problem with a lot of guys on here is that they see trying to pick women up as basically admitting an intention of only wanting to fuck them. I always went in with no intentions or expectations whatsoever and I was never let down. Sure had some bad experiences and failures but some funny ones and a lot of success once I got good at conversing with people. This has likewise translated to my professional life as well so life’s been great

>>31115971
>>31116811
Move on. You did nothing wrong. She doesn't want to continue.

>>31115971
>could someone explain to me what I did wrong?
Probably nothing. Just to check, did you ever indicate your sexual or romantic desire for her at all?

>I wanted to respect her boundaries but it sounds like that had the opposite effect and she felt like I wasn't interested, which made her not interested
This happened to me for years until I realized that I was putting out a "little brother vibe" by hiding any sexual interest. It's possible to display and express sexual interest without overstepping boundaries. I did by thinking intensely sexual thoughts while speaking normally and letting my lack of poker face do the work. It changed things a lot.

>Also, why do so many people give up after three fucking dates? Do people think this is enough time to get to know someone?
Pretty much.
It's not enough time to decide if someone will be good for a relationship but it's more than enough time to spot deal breakers or signifiers of deal breakers.
Signifiers can be things like being evasive to hide your virginity and she thinks you're hiding something worse or just reminding her of her ex.

When a girl rejected me on the third date, she didn't say it but I put it together that I had displayed a deal breaker from the start and she was just too shy and kind to outright reject me. I sing her praises cause she didn't ghost, met with me for coffee, and directly explained that she wasn't looking for the kind of relationship I wanted, which had amounted to friendly chatting and two pop kisses. She was kind, brave, direct, and clear. That rejection left me on a better mood than most days do.

>>31116750
I feel you bro, here's hoping we both get an answer. After university for me it was just work which is always a bad idea but seems like the only option.

>>31116762
Yeah, me. Not fucking plenty of girls but I got my first gf last year after I turned 25 and we're still together.

>>31116005
>You say this like they aren't just doing random shit sometimes that makes no sense.
Most aren't but are just operating on more complex levels of women logic. It's advanced bullshit I won't get into.

My point is that many women are not gatekeeping sex and working to befuddle men. They are trying to connect too.
But it's like giving away your dog. You don't just drop it off at the pound or blindly accept those Asians won't eat him. You want to verify before you get invested in giving away a part of yourself you care about.
That's their position.

Some bitches are just bitches tho.

>>31116829
Fair enough, thanks.
>>31116835
>Just to check, did you ever indicate your sexual or romantic desire for her at all
Yes, and pretty explicitly too - we both made a point of stating our expectations outright, that we both found each other attractive and wanted to pursue something romantic. Two autists.
Thanks for the rest of that too, she thankfully didn't string me along but it really felt like it came out of no where, we had just really started to get comfortable with each other and that was like a gut punch.

>>31116125
Solid advice

>>31116686
>Any advice?
Have male friends, focus on things other than women, relax and try to enjoy your harem of bitches

>>31116799
It's probably easy to do before age like 35+ because you still have good testosterone levels, otherwise you might want to do TRT for the exercise and muscles part.

>>31115739
insane someone can live for 40 years and all they can learn is just the same trite copy pasted reddit advice that is spammed by million of people in millions of comments every day

no examples, nothing practical just feel good motivational quotes everyone has memorized by age 12

he literelly didn't write a single original thought in his entire wall of text
40 years on this planet and he hasn't been able to have a thought that isn't being posted on reddit and quora 10 times a second by copy pasting indians

he didn't try sharing experiences or even making belivable lies of his supposed life, just blatant copy pasting preaching to the choir

he could've been born today and spend 10 minutes browing reddit and he'd have written the same wall of text using the same phrasing

>If Chris Hemsworth or Leonardo di Caprio dressed like total sperglords, they'd still be able to pull it off because of their confidence.

He has mastered the reddit form of writing of not actually writing anything, just commonly peer accepted non-advice with no conversations and nothing practical.
If you genuinly found any of it usefull, kill yourself now
Every child has memorized everything written in this post before getting to HS.

>>31116750
I'm in exact same situation. What do we do bro?

>>31116762
yeah it happens to men who quit their job to come back to university, age doesn't matter just presence in school setting is what matters
on your 2nd attempt you will know that speaking and communication matters more than self help so you will actually be fucking, speaking in appropriate setting is the only thing that matters being 30 doesn't

>>31116925
>he literelly didn't write a single original thought in his entire wall of text
Not true, he found an original way to admit he's gay and that he misplaced his anal virginity
>I am predominantly heterosexual.
>I did not lose my virginity until I was in my early-mid twenties. Not entirely sure
>Not entirely sure

>>31116932
der ewige schooler

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>>31116828
> I always went in with no intentions or expectations whatsoever
this one in particular lifts the burden of anxiety the few times I've managed it, I will take it more to heart.
thanks for your story fren, WAAGTMI!

>>31116027
>What do you do after you've gotten the girl's attention and it's clear she like you?
Talk to her, ask if she wants to hangout, get her phone number

Guys, honestly getting women through friends is impossible.
This is the second time that happens.
A friend of mine asks me if I want to go to a double date. We go to the date, his girl is cute, because they hooked up online. Well mine, is a fucking ugly whale.
This is the second time I get catfished. The girl claims she wants a “hot dude” for her girlfriend, I underline the standards, if I were ugly she wouldn’t want me to meet her friend but the second date is the most fucking ugly whale, whose btw pictures haven’t been updated for years (they didn’t give me the @ so I didn’t know). They all have the most boring personalities too.

I don’t understand the double standards put on the table by women. Her fugly friend with no personality should date a tall, athletic, handsome dude?
I’m giving up on traditional dating and going back online.

>>31114597
>i've never had a gf but i'm trying to deal with 2 women at the same time
damn maybe these could be related retard

Can I land cute white chicks (bonus points if fit) if I am a swarthy, muscular man with tattoos all over his arms and hands?
My skin gets pretty dark in the summer but I have a handsome face and a muscular build

How to not be afraid of sex? I am a virgin seeing a girl who very obviously wants to have sex with me but I'm worried if/when we do fuck I won't be able to stay hard. I don't have an absurdly low sex drive but the intimacy actually fucking represents in my mind feels repulsive to me and I'm not sure how to overcome it

How to be more dominant sexually with a girl when shes also scared shitless about pregnancy and imaginary stds?

As far as online dating goes are women that are slightly older easier to get with than women who are slightly younger?
talking about an age gap of up to 4 years older.

>>31117572
Basically the way it works is the older the woman on a dating app the more jaded she is.

>>31117576
But is it possible my age might help me stand out if I am the one reaching out to them? At my age (mid 30s) I would imagine some of the women approaching 40 wouldn't mind some younger cock.

>>31117598
They don't want to just fuck guys anymore. You might get lucky and find some older lady that is into younger dude's, and if you do then great. But the reality is that most want a guy that meets the 3 6's (six figures, 6ft, 6in cock).

>>31117488
>How to be more dominant sexually with a girl when shes also scared shitless about pregnancy and imaginary stds?
I don't see how those things are related? If you're already having sex with her just take charge in bed more, throw her on the bed when you start, tell her what to do or push her around, hold her down tighter, pull her hair - start lightly and she'll tell you if it's something she really doesn't like, slap her ass, gently put your hand on her neck to see if she's into that

>>31117428
seconding this. I've backed out of fucking an escort because of this

>>31114597
Fucking this: >>31114717
Also bitches see you as alpha for not giving them too much attention, which you wont with the roster. My two cents are to keep the newcomers coming since eventually others will drop out, and whenever you DO see or give a chick attention, make her have the best fucking time. It'll keep her around longer.

I noticed this trend where a girl sends me a meme or any random message when her boyfriend is away. He travels far away on a weekly basis.

Am I a second choice to fulfill her attention needs? An emotional sponge? I barely talk to her anymore since I can’t see her since she lives far away but she interacts so I just reply with “lol” or “haha cool”. She gave me heavy flirts the last time she visited me alone but it’s a completely different person around her boyfriend.

>>31115971
You did nothing wrong and this kind of behavior is just becoming more and more common place these days with how bad it is. Don’t let it dishearten you tho. Good girls are out there you just gotta sift through the shit.
>>31116354
This is very true
>>31116686
You feel this way because you surround yourself with whores. Being with girls who put out and let you hit it is absolutely soul draining. I loved having sex with random girls when I was younger but I’ll never forget how lonely and sad it was at the exact same time. You need to open yourself up to the right girl and be open to her.
>>31116868
Glad someone thought so.
>>31117008
Thanks bro hope it helps.
>>31117428
Best advice is to not think about it at all and don’t drive yourself crazy. Just let things flow as they will and stop over calculating everything. It’s sabotaging you.
>>31117488
You can be dominant just use a condom when you do.

All of this shit seems so many miles over my head. I don't want to give up, but after hitting 30 it feels like the opportunities are slipping away

>>31117054
>getting women through friends
You're describing "double date first date" which, yeah, has always sucked for the secondary couple. Hideously and traditionally so.
"Getting women through friends" is usually more along the lines of a friend or gf of a friend setting you up with a girl they know, with mixed results based on their skills as a matchmaker.
The key difference is that you are the primary match, hopefully known by the one setting you up. You aren't a plus one.
That said, if you're swearing off double date first dates, that's understandable. Nobody likes jumping on a grenade.

>Her fugly friend with no personality should date a tall, athletic, handsome dude?
Wtf do you expect her to say? "My close friend is fat and ugly so any piece of shit guy will do! Do you know literally anyone?"

The girl I'm talking to on a dating app is slow to respond, but when she does she give a decent response and leaves a question to follow up. I guess it's some sort of insecurity on my end, but what does it mean when she typically responds after hours.

Did I just fuck up? I've got this coworker I've been getting mixed signals from. Ever since she broke up with her boyfirend like 4 months ago we've been getting closer and she's been teasing me to ask her out, and we've been flirting constantly. But she sometimes called me "friend", which is weird in my language (even among friends). I took it as a sign to back off, but since then she became more agressive in her approach.
Last night after our shift she invited me to have breakfast at her place. So I went, we had a pleasant talk and she started getting real close. I got the feeling that she wanted me to make a move but when I did she didn't respond. Afterwards she invited me to eat something.
So give it to me straight bros, did I fuck up? Did I read her wrong?

>>31118177
>she wanted me to make a move but when I did she didn't respond
What exactly did you do and what was her reaction?

>>31116686
Have you tried finding a girl you like and *not* manipulating her?
The thing about manipulation is that your words and actions aren't genuine and anything that comes from manipulation isn't genuine either.
I used to be on the far end of the spectrum because I was terrified of the power of manipulation when I was five. I never manipulated anyone. I still don't wear a mask or persona. I am constantly genuine and it feels great. But I've learned that social interactions and certain forms of kindness requires manipulation. There's a middle ground. Find yours.

Just find a good woman and be open and genuine with her.
You might find that your understanding of their basic nature is not as total as you imagine it to be.

>>31116710
It's called the Wall of Awful.
It's a common hurdle for some people, especially those with ADHD.

Check out How to ADHD:

https://youtu.be/Uo08uS904Rg?si=OkOgtAW1Aku8Tmn8

https://youtu.be/hlObsAeFNVk?si=lMyvVnu_BV8xHRP5

>>31118146
She probably has her app notifications off and she isn't checking throughout the day. This is normal.

>>31118191
I leaned into her and got close like for a kiss on the crammed elevator, she glanced at my lips repeatedly but when I got close enough like for her to start coming close she just stood there. Smiling and glancing at my mouth.

>>31118249
>when I got close enough like for her to start coming close she just stood there. Smiling and glancing at my mouth.
Dude, you were just supposed to kiss her, don't wait for her to do something

>>31118278
I thought so. But here's the thing, she's jumpy ever since she was sexually harassed. I didn't want to come off as too aggressive. What should I do? I really like her

>>31118369
>I didn't want to come off as too aggressive. What should I do?
That's not too aggressive, she was clearly expecting it and waiting for you to kiss her, just grabbing her and kissing her out of nowhere could be too aggressive for her.
>What should I do?
Hope she gives you another chance and go for it

>>31116762
This was basically me.

7 years ago, 24 year old virgin.

My issue is that I never really made moves on girls and had an internal though process of if a girl likes me she will make it known. The other issue was that I almost never dressed to impress, never really groomed myself and never went to a barber.

I wasn't necessarily ugly because the very few times I did get a fresh cut and dressed up (once in Middle School and once in High School) I was the talk of my grade for a few weeks before I stopped dressing up and fresh cut was no longer fresh. I did have a few girls that were into me regardless and they did make it kind of obvious. I ditched a lot in High School. 1 girl who I had science class with had a crush on me. I stopped ditching to go to that class. One day she came in with a face full of makeup (it was bad). I never went back to that class. I later heard he in my last period math class say, "I can't believe I liked that guy."

It wasn't until I was 24 where I started to actually put effort into my appearance on a consistent basis. Once I did that my dating life changed. Since then I have slept with about 80-90 women. 95% of them being Asian, which is already on hard mode since I'm half black/white.

Now, when I walk around college campus with girls I'm seeing, I constantly get looks from girls simply by dressing decently and being well groomed.

Things I changed.
Getting a fresh cut every 2 weeks.
Wear clothes that fit my shape.
Groom my facial hair.
Smell good.
Work out.

Alright boyos give it to me straight. How do you guys fish girls off of fiverr

Inb4 muh your retarded

She's to hot bros and from third world so wondering how to go about tricking her

>fiverr. com/ angiebrooke22 , give me feedback

>>31118409
Hopefully so I'll try next time. Thanks bro

>>31118414
>Inb4 muh your retarded
muh you retarded, but not quite as bad as the guy trynna pull a girl from github

>>31115739
>I present as male (although I consider myself agender, if I ever think about it).
I'm not reading any further.

I just got out of a long relationship and don't want to get into another relationship before taking a year or two to finally have a proper manwhore phase
What specific steps (other than get into good shape, hygiene max, decent clothing, etc) should I take to maximize the amount of butt that gets thrown my way? And without using apps - I'm not ugly but I'm realistic about the way I look, I can't compete with that top 5% of men that look like models. And IRL rizz has always worked for me much better anyways

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Is it possible to steal the cute girl in my church group away from her boyfriend? He's a manlet, curly haired skinny guy with a loud frantic/anxious personality, whereas I'm pretty much the opposite, tall, fit, quiet confidence.

Well I guess my confidence isn't as high as I say because I'm here every week asking for dating advice, but regardless if I keep getting my confidence and experience up, what's the approach to go about doing this?

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Why are guys that have a dog generally preferred over guys that have a cat?

>>31118491
Car.

Want to get laid? Don't be the guy who is gay for smart guy Harold getting a promotion whose trying to prevent every girl from getting near him so he can have him all to him.

>>31118548
Pet choice reflects masculine or feminine personalities
Men are like dogs women are like cats
Inverted it makes for an unattractive personality to most

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>>31118556

>>31118548
idk, cats are kinda passive cuddly animals whereas dogs are super excited to do shit all the time and women love to be entertained. Dogs are also more trainable than cats and I assume this also attracts women more nowadays because their innate desire to have kids is being suppressed and they need an outlet for nurturing and raising something, which makes them feel feminine. Women today are incredibly masculine acting so it's an outlet.

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>at club with friend
>keep making eye contact with girl across dance floor
>she eventually ends up right in front of me but with her back to me
>I can't bring myself to start dancing with her
>she disappears
>later standing at edge of dance floor with friend
>he goes to bathroom
>same girl walks straight over to the spot where my friend was
>is swiping randomly on her phone, checking snapchat etc
>I'm still moving to the music so we're brushing a bit, she doesn't move away
>my heart is pounding and I know this is it
>I'm about to grab her hand or something when she suddenly pivots and walks away super fast
>friend comes back
>she passes by again a minute later and I touch her arm
>she pauses and I yell in her ear asking if she wants to dance
>she literally just walks away, says nothing doesn't even look at me
>laugh it off with friend and keep moving to the music
>continue catching her eye for a bit
>she fucking reappears right in front of me once again a few minutes later, again with her back to me
>had enough of her shit and my friend had just gotten rejected hard by another girl so we left to a quieter bar

can someone decipher this shit? what the fuck should I have done? I guess I should've asked her to dance sooner or maybe even just grabbed her hand and seen if she'd go with it but why'd she come back after blowing me off?

>>31118458
Kek
A friend did this before not sure if it'll work for me as im a manlet

>5 7'
>black
>diagnosed with autism
>ugly face
>27 and a KV
How does someone as dysgenic as I am become successful at dating?

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>Her: "Hey something came up can we change the day?"
>Me: "Sure, I'm only available the day after though"
>Her: "Perfect! Works great."

She showed up pissed and disinterested because I'm reading that letting her take lead (even for something that petty) is a death sentence.
Weeks of build up and flirting for that. JFC

>>31118620
She was probably texting her boyfriend.

>>31118628
>She showed up pissed and disinterested
>because I'm reading that letting her take lead (even for something that petty) is a death sentence.
wat. No she showed up pissed and disinterested because show was pissed and disinterested. Letting her suggest a different day did not make her pissed and disinterested, don't be fucking stupid dude.

>>31118630
2bh I creeped on her phone because I had an easy view of her screen and it was a girl's name she was texting. maybe her girlfriend then.

>>31115393
>>31115448
>>31115578
>>31115676
>>31115776
>>31115846
>>31115894
>>31115910
>>31115916
>>31115923
>>31115925
>>31115929
>>31115940
>>31115947
>>31115950
>>31115959
>>31116048
Whoopse doo! Looks like (You) got tagged for either being, or engaging with (yes big boy, you're guilty too ;)) the literal shitstain that comes into these threads to stink us with his shit stink and tries to convince everyone to live as miserable as they are cuz muh stutustics muh subjectiv uxpuriens muh cope cope cope nigger shut the fuck up with the bullshit its every single thread. But I know you wont so a message to all anons looking to learn to smash, or are here to actually give good advice or share stories: don't feed the troll, kay? thx

>>31118634
That happens too. A week and a half ago I danced with this "kind of" gay sexy blonde. Take the encounter in stride friendo.

>>31117428
Used to think like this.

But when you get to knowing a girl, liking a girl, and getting fuck her - your biological urges make it hard NOT to get turned on.

Also trust is like 90% of sex so if you don’t trust shorty it’s not gonna be a good experience.

>>31118638
>Take the encounter in stride friendo
wow I finally met someone else who says friendo
I'm not beat up over it or anything it was just really confusing to get so many choosing signals then get blown off like that. my friend and I discussed it at the bar and just couldn't figure it out

>>31118620
Bitch was toying with you. Maybe you had a chance if you had made the move smart and fast, but you choked and she could tell. From then on she probably enjoyed stepping on your nuts the rest of the interactions. Sorry anon, be quicker next time.

>>31117046
Now what if you're at the bar? What's the step before you ask to leave with her?

>>31118657
The phone bit is really telling to me. Likely had other things on her mind.
>>31118665
I do somewhat agree with the notion that you should have made a move faster. Not instantly; just because a girl dances in front of you doesn't mean she wants you to engage. But if she continues hovering there, go for it. I don't even grab hands man, I just rub my dick on her and she'll either move away or back into me.

>>31118665
>Bitch was toying with you.
this is what I suspected, glad my intuition is still good.
>you choked and she could tell
also makes sense. my vibe was really off that day I was at like 40% of my normal confidence level

>>31118682
>this is what I suspected, glad my intuition is still good.
Nah don't assume the worst in people relative to you. Bad habit, leads to unneeded spikes of narcissism. You might not have even been on her mind at all man.

I'd like some input, lads.
I asked a girl out at work, she said yes but I left for a few days on vacation immediately after. When I got back and asked her when she'd be free, she told me she was "busy" (which isn't a total lie, she is working and in college) and eventually told me she wasn't too sure about going out with me anymore. To me, this sucks because I really felt a good connection there. The flirty vibe we had going before I asked her out has been replaced with a colder one. She keeps her distance a bit but still chats with me on occasion and I still easily make her laugh when we talk.

What's the move, here? I personally think I should just play it cool and "move on" as much as possible, hoping she changes her mind in time. I've already gone on a date since asking her out, but again, I feel something with her and I know she at least "felt" it, too. She did say yes, after all. I know she's not super comfortable with the notion of dating a coworker but she didn't say it was impossible.
Any thoughts?

>>31118695
Ask her out again in a month when time enough has passed from this.

>>31118695
move on immediately without hoping she changes her mind
go on more dates, forget about her. her loss. that's the only thought you should ever have in situations like this.
be light and funny whenever she wants to talk to you, don't seek her out or drag on conversations though.

ignore >>31118699. don't ask her out again. she had her chance.

bros, a girl I really like told me "we have a conection" what the fuck does it mean? (in male terms) we have been friends for some months, I always thought I was on the friend zone until this happened a couple of weeks ago and we never talked again since

>>31118692
>You might not have even been on her mind at all man
I really find that hard to believe, and you would too if you had witnessed it

>>31118701
>she had her chance.
That's a weird way of looking at it. It's not us vs women man, they're just people. Shit happens; maybe somebody she knows died and she doesn't feel like going out with anyone.
>>31118708
Like I said, assuming the worst in people relative to you is a bad habit, but I'm not your dad so do what you want.

>>31118711
>That's a weird way of looking at it.
lmao that's the only way of looking at it. are you a woman or something? you don't belong in this thread.

>>31118620
You probably should have made the move sooner, if for no other reason to stop letting tension build inside of you. It's best to do the important bit before your heart is pounding, but if it is, do NOT let it show. This may take practice if you're not naturally gifted at it.
>but why'd she come back after blowing me off?
Honestly? Who the fuck knows. It could have been literally anything, including "she's retarded". Maybe she was having a horrible night and you just asked at the wrong time. Maybe she just liked that spot for no good reason.
I'd just say moving forward, pull the trigger sooner. I wouldn't read into that interaction much more than that.

>>31118707
You should start talking to her again. Get a conversation rolling and early into it ask her if she wants to go out with you. Don't say "hang out", say "go out" or even "go out on a date".
If she says no? The relationship is probably gone, whatever. Don't hang out in the friendzone.

>>31118714
>lmao that's the only way of looking at it
Sure if you don't think of them as people or don't want to think of them as people. Can't imagine your relationship with your mother.
>are you a woman or something?
Nope. Just a guy who's known and bedded and dated many girls.

>>31118719
yeah I've already concluded I should have moved faster, 3 second rule and all that. I forgot the basics.

>>31118727
I've fucked many more women than you and my relationship with my mother is better than your relationship with yours. what now.
>le women are people!
any more trite Reddit wisdom for us, oh "bedder" of women? a woman said no, it's time to move on. please explain how that's not seeing a woman as a person with the capacity to make her own decisions and respecting that decision by not continuing to bother her and asking her out again only a month later? the only option that maintains one's self-respect and frame is to chalk it up as her loss and move on. simple as. not reading anything you reply as I'm 90% you're a female and thus your opinion on this matter is invalid.

>>31118699
>Ask her out again in a month
She has said there was another coworker who has asked her out multiple times and that she didn't like that he "couldn't take no for an answer". I don't know if asking again is too smart, or at least I don't know how I'd go about it without looking exactly like that guy.
The last time we talked about dating, and she said she was unsure, I told her "I'd still give it a shot, so think about it." and she said she would. I feel like the ball's in her court and she's no airhead, she knows it. Earlier into this, I had tried texting her and she basically left me on read, so I won't be texting her again.
To what you said elsewhere:
>maybe somebody she knows died
Well THAT didn't happen, but I know her sister is in a rough spot emotionally/existentially. She is pretty stressed from school, herself, I know she's been there longer than 4 years. It is possible that she got wrapped up in the moment when I asked, but then overthought things and thinks she has too much on her plate to date.

>>31118727
>>31118734
The "treat women like people" is my personal favorite. These are the same women who will have kids with the guy who beats the shit outta them.

>>31118744
>She has said there was another coworker who has asked her out multiple times and that she didn't like that he "couldn't take no for an answer"
That would have been really nice to have read in your initial post. Leave her alone, continue to see other girls.
>Well THAT didn't happen
You don't know that. Literally nobody in my life knows that my ex's grandmother died recently. What I'm saying is it's really not worth thinking too long on the why of her not going out with you. What matters is she said no.
> It is possible that she got wrapped up in the moment when I asked, but then overthought things and thinks she has too much on her plate to date.
Absolutely possible. Women catastrophize and I'm almost convinced it's in their nature, like being submissive.

>>31118757
>That would have been really nice to have read in your initial post
Yeah there are weeks of back-and-forth I'm leaving out to avoid writing a novel, here.
>What matters is she said no.
What's weird is she didn't say "no". She told me exactly how she rejected that other guy so from that I know, in addition to plenty of other shit at work I've seen from her, she knows how to be blunt.
When we were talking about dating (before I said "think about it"), I gave her an out saying "You regretted saying "yes", but you weren't very upfront about it, is that what happened?" she kind of dodged the question and eventually said "I know that doesn't answer that". It was a bit later she said she said she wasn't sure about it all.
Her not saying "no" is why I find this all so weird and still think there's a chance here, I'm just not sure how to navigate it. Like I originally said, my plan is to just kinda be my normal self. I plan on talking to her when I can but not really seeking her out. She's got my number, she can text me or talk to me, too.

>>31118748
It’s literally only said by retards who have nothing to contribute but want to disagree in some way. Completely worthless statement, like asking if youve considered that the sky is blue.

>>31118803
She sounds silly.
>Like I originally said, my plan is to just kinda be my normal self. I plan on talking to her when I can but not really seeking her out. She's got my number, she can text me or talk to me, too.
Definitely do that, however
>She's got my number, she can text me or talk to me, too.
This is why I suggested asking her again in a month, because women are very unsure of themselves and think themselves into knots. The ball is in her court in theory, but women are women. Continue to see other girls. You might meet someone who'll make you not care about her anymore. You got this, you're levelheaded.

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>>31118815
>She sounds silly.
God, I know. But I like her.
>asking her again in a month
In a month she'll be on summer break. She'll be in a better headspace I imagine, I just feel like asking again is kind of lowly? But it's also the only way to "know". I am fully aware that waiting for her to make a move, especially since she's not just a woman but a beautiful one, is like hoping to win the lottery. She DID make the move to have that talk about dating, so I know she "can". But if you want something done right, do it yourself.
I'll consider it and likely ask again, just gotta find a way to not look desperate. I do find it kind of embarrassing.
>Continue to see other girls
I've been trying and will keep at it. You know I'm prowling the apps, playboy.
>You got this, you're levelheaded.
Thanks, hombre, I'm trying out here.

>>31118085
What I really meant is that women overwhelmingly overrate their friends.
It also happened to me with a friend’s girlfriend, I’m curious why pretty girls hangout with uglier girls almost on purpose lol. There seems to be a mismatch on the standard women rate their beauty.

What I mean is, if I were short and fat I wouldn’t even manage to get an ugly bitch. Either ways, we agreed to never do this again.

>>31118628
>She showed up pissed and disinterested
Did you ask how she was feeling and if everything was alright? Or if something was wrong?
Or did you make defensive assumptions?

>>31117865
>You feel this way because you surround yourself with whores.

There's only been one girl that wasn't like this and that was always the breakup that bothered me, she came with a host of other issues so was not really what you'd consider normal. Not really seeking this out but thank you for reminding me they're not all like this.

>>31118204
I never saw myself as manipulating anyone but that could be a fair point. It seemed that when I acted my pure unadulterated self it usually was seen as insecure, needy, unattractive, so even though I tried to fix this and it's gotten better, nothing has seemed to make it go away (therapy, exercise, meditating, spending time alone or with friends, hobbies/skills, etc). Maybe I still need to just accept how I am and wait for someone to accept me as I am but it seems like the traits you would generally consider unattractive in a man were not well received even though as I said I lean more toward sensitive and effeminate approaches to relationships. Any time I ever looked up relationship problems I was having, it was women asking the same question.

Thanks for helping me reflect in a different way though because now that I think about it the girls I liked the most somewhat accepted me more. They're just very rare.

Thanks.

>>31118974
>>31118978
Any feedback would be appreciated.

I was thinking about the idea of dating one of these girls in one of my university church groups and I was wondering if it'd be worth it or not.

She's very wholesome, but also pretty sheltered. I don't think she'd watch anything more violent than a marvel movie. She gets flustered by a card in a board game we play that has a woman's bare back on it, cutting off above her waist before the hips start. A pure-hearted Disney girl through and through, though that might change as Disney pushes more LGBT stuff, but I think you get the picture I'm trying to paint.

I think I could date a girl like that and be fine with watching different media alone. My parents are happily married and while my parents both watch scifis and disaster movies together, my dad doesn't complain about my mom watching reality tv or ancient aliens. But where we differ on other stuff of varying taboos? Like alcohol? I grew up in a household that would have liquor present, but my parents drank 2-3 times a year so the same bottles would be in the house for decades unless they used them for cooking/baking. Alcohol is a gift from God, it's Jesus' first miracle in his ministry to save a party that didn't have enough wine. Sure it can be misused, and should be used in moderation, but it's still a gift. She's 21 and said "if I ever drank my parents would kill me" and got upset when I made a casual remark about not bringing a sweet liquor for a dessert at our going away party from an international student that we all know likes alcohol, at a person whose house I've made the exact same dessert with said alcohol (kahlua on brownies with ice cream, it's amazing). I find myself asking if that is a hassle I want to deal or argue over were I to pursue a relationship with her.

Orrrr maybe I'm just overthinking a complete and total hypothetical and shouldn't even worry about it? I think she's someone who'd make a great mother, but idk if she'd make a great gf/wife.

>>31118734
Holy triggered.
People are capable of changing states and have a variety things going on.
"She had her chance" immaturely reduces her to an antagonist instead of a human being.
Relax.

>>31118695
>What's the move, here? I personally think I should just play it cool and "move on" as much as possible, hoping she changes her mind in time.
Yup.

I've seen this before. She was eager and got second thoughts, possibly reading some sort of nonsense into you not being available for a while. Or something else. Or not.
Some people tie themselves into neurotic knots.

Then she said she wasn't too sure. This either means that she wasn't too sure or that she wanted you to reassure her and convince her to o go out. Basically, she was either conflicted or expecting you read signals like a mind reader.
Either way, she ended up passively rejecting you.

When an acquaintance you see rejects you, they grow cold and pull away. They do this because they are expecting*you* to get weird, lash out, pine, or be a jerk. Guys do all that and worse.

So you stay the course. You act friendly like nothing awkward or cold is going. You play it cool.

I've had girls circle back around and become twice as close. She might not ever reconsider dating but she easily could.
Life is about keeping your options open.
So move forward and don't wait for her but don't toss her aside either.

>>31119027
>Admit and explained that I hated women because of my situation and hoped for a redo when we say each other next

You're gonna have to tell us exactly what you told her to determine if this is salvageable or not. Someone's gonna need more than a few hours to decide how to take that in and respond. Better off just leaving it at "I had my regrets" and explaining why you projected your complications with your mother onto other women around you in the midst of your parents' divorce in person.

Could always wait a week and double text if you don't hear back. Do you know if she's still single?

>>31118637
>>31115981
My bad.
I was sick yesterday and started arguing in another thread because I couldn't be productive. I got into a bad habit of replying.

>>31119027
Did you message a woman out of the blue and nearly immediately say you have been hating women for years?
Because that was my read of that.

Telling a woman that you have been hating women is pretty bad. Men who hate women tend to hurt women in one way or another. And they don't make great partners.

This is a scenario where softening the language is beneficial. Like "I've been having trouble getting close to women".

>>31119038
>church groups
Already weird.
>flustered by a card in a board game
Yep.
>I think she's someone who'd make a great mother
Cause she is scared of something that even alludes to sex?
I'll start by saying despite the jabbing, I do intend to give you some honest, decent advice; but know that this is the wrong place to be asking when THAT is the kind of relationship you're pursuing.

She's extremely sheltered, clearly more so than you. She can open up and get to a place where she's more "like you" and at least able to joke about the horrible sin of having kahlua on brownies. Maybe, in several years, she'd even eat one.
She's going to be a lot of work and you're going to have to be very patient with her. You'd have to have some pretty big connection with her already. Is she showing any signs of being into you? She talks to you, but do you feel anything there or do you just think she's cute?
You say you're already worried about a hassle when I think we both know if you try to date this gal, the hassle WILL be there. Honestly, I don't think she sounds even mature enough to date at this point, she probably needs to work on herself a bit and do some introspection before coming out of her shell more.
BUT, if you wanna go for it, go for it. I would guess she'd decline a date simply because the notion of one would make her comically nervous. If you do date, you two are going to have plenty of awkward conversations about what is or isn't a "sin", I'm sure of it.
Good luck.

>>31119021
>I never saw myself as manipulating anyone but that could be a fair point.
See
>>31116686
>it's pretty easy to get a girl to like you and get her to do what you want
>I know the ABCs that unlocks the average female's brain.
I mean, it's pretty clear.

>I still need to just accept how I am and wait for someone to accept me as I am but it seems like the traits you would generally consider unattractive in a man were not well received even though as I said I lean more toward sensitive and effeminate approaches to relationships.
The way I describe it is presenting the best version of who you really are.
For example, if you're sensitive, it doesn't help you to pretend you aren't. But presenting sensitivity before the relationship is established to that point, signifies a guy who's going to be overly sensitive all the time.

I'm a goofball. I act like a goofball. But if I go full goofball right away, I might seem like I can't be trusted to be serious or capable.

So you manipulate them into seeing the best version of you and if they like what they see, you slowly show them everything genuinely.

>>31119060
>>31119073
She asked why I had been away for so long, if I had got hacked.

I said I went offline once my dad left.

She said idk what to say I'm sorry

I said No worries such is life, she liked that message.

Then I said glad to be reconnected and "shooting from the hip I get 10 years in crazy to you, but if you had the curse of women hate because of a family's divorce too, I think you'd understand why I'd want a redo when a peach of a girl like yourself when I'm finally out of the woods. If that's crazy, shrug emoji."

She

So the advice you always receive to look confident and approachable and happy and whatnot is to stand straight with your shoulders back/head like it's on a string. I kind of go with what I feel is a non-threatening gait, kind of more led by my hips/crotch forward with my torso kind of 'casually' slumped backwards.

Anyway that isn't the point of the post. I think I intimidate people and it's been an issue basically my entire adult life. I would classify my style/presentation as 'alternative' in a city filled with preppy college kids. I'm 6'3 and weigh about 160, have tattoos, I do weird shit with my hair, etc.

I am about 2 months out of an 8 year relationship and trying to get back into the dating scene. Just turned 35. The only nightlife in the city is Friday and Saturday nights at a strip of bars on the main street and it's filled with 20-somethings outside of like 1-2 which are basically just couples or old heads.

I may look different, and albeit maybe that instinctually denotes that I don't have my shit together, but I own a house make more than the average household combined income in this state.

The 8-year relationship ended because I am an alcoholic and it pushed her away from me. When we officially broke up I quit drinking for good, turns out she had good advice that I needed to to do it for myself, and not for her! Anywho about 2 weeks after that declaration I went out on a Friday night to the bars, I picked the more upscale-y one and sat at the bar and ordered a diet coke. Long story short a girl and her friend sat next to me and she was dying for me to talk to her but I was so focused on just being comfortable not drinking that I only asked her to watch my spot while I went to the bathroom. She said bye before leaving. oof. A week or so later at a different establishment I had gay guy very aggressively trying to turn me

left the last message on read, 11 hours.

>>31119136 cont

Online dating has been unsucessful for me because I basically took no photos for 8 years even though I do all kinds of things, I have yet to get a match in over a month and a half I've been on them.

Any sage advice from the wise anon's of /adv/ on how to acquire new gf? I'm pretty sure I pass for 'just a little older' than the crowds. I just have no idea how to talk to people, or specifically who to pick out to talk to.

man this one girl invited me over for drinks. she's very assertive. issue is that she's a first year student ( so 18/19) while I'm a grown ass 30 y/o man

on a scale of 1-10, how bad would it be to fuck her?

>>31119136
>>31119145

Afterthought/ story time

So this last Saturday I went out again, and I've been trying to get kind of a 'regular' appearance at the upscale-y bar. Well, in order to get there one has to pass THE college "club". So as I'm walking up/by some guy who was last in line - 5'5 slightly chubby little fuck in a SUIT, turns and sees me and a recognizable look of joy mixed with contempt looked at me for a good solid 5 seconds. I'm still kind of kicking myself for not just playing into it and going to fuck with him saying something along the lines of "2 minutes out and I already made a friend!"

Point/question - Should I just be as out there as I want and see what happens? I kind of did thatshit 10 years ago but I generally got asked if I wanted to fight more than if I was trying to fuck.

I probably just need a therapist. Still open to any and all suggestions. As always, thanks for reading my blog.

>>31119137
Anon don't feel so bad. I went out on a date Sunday after chatting for a week and half. Date goes well but she didn't want to rush away at the end. No kiss unfortunately. Asked her out on a second and she said yes. Followed up when she said she'd check her schedule and I haven't heard from her for 24 hours. This was a woman that claimed communication was important to her yet she showed she's a massive hypocrite. Think of someone ghosting you as doing you a favor. A person like that is not the kind of person you want romantically in your life.

>>31119307
Making sure you know this is the rest though: >>31119132
I appreciate the added context, and generally agree that a person like that is no loss, but I feel my actions may have been most of the cause in this case. Maybe I am wrong.

>>31119336
My bad. It's 5 am here and I'm not awake yet. With context it makes more sense why you would be on read for so long. Your actions are the cause. Disappearing for a long time then reappearing ain't a good look unless its a self improvement journey with physical results to show. Like a girl seeing you after you spent a while building up your life and getting into great physical shape.

>>31119181
It's legal so don't worry about it. Just keep in mind that an assertive girl like that could be a bit weird mentally so just be careful how you tread. So girls are just assertive and know what they want though. Don't let her know where you live, don't trade social media until you have a very good read on her etc.

>>31119181
Don't go over if you don't find her attractive enough to date. Young girls fall in love very easily, and you're going to contribute to the
>Older men dating younger girls = bad
narrative if you fuck her and ditch her. Don't fuck this up for the rest of us.

This place if full of posers giving "advice" despite having never touched a woman in their life.

>>31119466
For sure. But that happens.

>>31119184
>Should I just be as out there as I want and see what happens?
I don't think so personally. At least not more than this:
>saying something along the lines of "2 minutes out and I already made a friend!"
That's fine. Being too "on" as a 6'3 35 year old guy will look like you're weird and trying to seem young. What you're already doing is groovy, just fucking talk to women dude. You have literally everything going for you.

>>31119497
Addendum: Talk to women you are attracted to enough to date. Don't talk to and then bed down a chick you're only attracted enough to sleep with because once she knows you own a house she'll fall for you and then that's gonna be hell to deal with since you seem soft.

>>31119394
>>31119453
she has blue/green hair and a septum ring. I feel like I'm walking into a trap

>>31119598
I don't give a fuck if she has a motor heart dude. I don't give a fuck if you're walking into a trap. Is she attractive enough for you to date?

>>31119603
I mean she's 18/19 bruder. she's pretty in a plain girl next door way. just the thought of walking around with her outside gives me anxiety

>>31119610
It's like pulling teeth with you ain't it. Is she attractive enough for you to date?

>>31119616
why are you hyperfocusing on the fact whether if she's attractive enough or not to date? that's not the issue. sure, I'd date her. the issue is that it's socially unacceptable to walk hand in hand with a 18 y/o girl dressed in zoomer alt clothes with green hair while I'm a 30 y/o man dressed in a fucking suit ( work in finance)

>>31119621
>sure, I'd date her.
There you go. Then go for it.
>why are you hyperfocusing on the fact whether if she's attractive enough or not to date?
Can't read either? Man you're a fucking idiot huh. I gave a reason in my initial reply to you:
>Young girls fall in love very easily, and you're going to contribute to the "older men dating younger girls = bad" narrative if you fuck her and ditch her
>the issue is that it's socially unacceptable to walk hand in hand with a 18 y/o girl dressed in zoomer alt clothes with green hair while I'm a 30 y/o man dressed in a fucking suit ( work in finance)
Why would you wear a suit when going to her place for a drink? Wear something casual. What the fuck is wrong with you.
t. 29 going on 30 dating an 18 year old.

>>31119626
because I have to go after my work, I'm a busy guy. I barely have any casual clothes, at least not something that appears youthful or trendy

I can read and I know how young girls act. if I'm already contemplating going over that means she's attractive enough to date in my head ( I don't differentiate between girls hot enough to fuck and those hot enough to date), the issue is that we can't be seen together out in public showing intimacy. it's simply socially unacceptable here. she approached me at the coffee bar during my break and I already caught the barista giving me weird looks

>>31119644
>because I have to go after my work
Bring extra clothes in a bag, leave them in your car. Did that just the other week myself.
>I barely have any casual clothes
But you have some, so use those. If not, order online. Amazon Prime delivers in a day, and you're evidently not short on cash.
>the issue is that we can't be seen together out in public showing intimacy
Of course you can. Just get some decent casual clothing. I promise you that you're overthinking this. Or do you have literally figuratively no time to go clothing shopping between now and the date? No time whatsoever that not even amazon would deliver it on time?

>>31119648
Nah you're right. I am overthinking this. I was wearing a suit when she approached me so she must've somewhat gauged my age despite me looking younger. I'm just going to go with this, cheers anon

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>>31119663
Hell yeah. Go get her man.

Forget about the superficial shit like height or dick size. Girls (especially the ones you want) don’t care about this.
>get in shape
This is self explanatory. If you aren’t in shape under 30 then most women won’t want to be with you. Simple as.
>be open to socializing
Don’t say that you just have a shy personality. The social anxiety experienced in modern times is a new phenomenon that hasn’t happened before and is totally unnatural hence why prior generations didn’t have this issue. Get out there and talk to people with no intentions or expectations. Be a human being.
>have a life and meaning
Life is more than just getting girls so have a purpose and passion in life and for life. It is a naturally attractive quality for a man with meaning in his life. Staying at home all day w vidya doesn’t count.

>>31119749
Sounds too much like hard work. And even with all of that, you aren't guaranteed a gf, soooooooooo fuck it.

>>31115741
I appreciate the write up bro and I don't think you (or they who tell me this) are wrong, but it causes a lot of other problems if I operate under the impression they are right.
I am not a good looking guy, like 5/10 (I am overweight after all), I have a fairly niche aesthetic and style (long hair, bearded, ears pierced, definitely more of an "alt" dude, no tats tho, as well as how I dress and wearing a lot of jewellery, mostly oxidized silver with a couple of darkened stainless steel and a hand of shiny silver pieces for different styles) and it absolutely turns a lot of people away, even if ur really into my style I am like 6/10 at best, at best, no more than that, which isn't going to attract a huge amount of women and I am definitely not special in some other way, women aren't coming up to talk to me, its just me chatting to random people (both men and women) and then some women happen to do this stuff.

The problem and why it can't be true is that a lot of the stuff they point out is done by WAY more women than I have described, sure there are times, like the examples in the earlier post I think yeah, they were into me, I fumbled it, but the amount of times I see those same signs from other women as well is crazy, where I don't for a second look back and think on the encounter and go "yeah I fucked up" and it seems clear they aren't interested, so many times they are just WAY more attractive, so many 8/10s who I strike up a casual conversation about some topic because something about them made have a question to ask them or something is crazy and no way they are into me, let alone that many of them.

>>31115741
>>31119986
continued since im a verbose motherfucker
Last couple months iv been thinking about and paying more attention to fashion and the amount of times I have seen woman with a killer outfit who just looks perfectly put together so I just go up and ask about her process and the thought she put into it, to get some well articulated response and have a conversation about her clothing choice and then a chat about ourselves and often when im wearing, iv usually implied in some way that im trying to dress better and this is why I am asking so I get a critique, some who like what im wearing, some who don't, some more helpful than others, but I always have a nice talk about it.
I go up with 0 intention of hitting on these women, just genuinely interested in hearing their take on this because, usually, they are not just well dressed but also attractive and put together and it makes them look phenomenal and really stand out. like 30% of them have these "signs" which is wayyy too high of a % for me to think that anything people point out I fumbled as enough of a sign on its own.

Not just fashion either, but its an easy one since u can trivially see what someone is wearing, but like people who have stickers on their laptop about something I am also into, or just other shit, I can't really think of or name too many of them since they kind of just happen where I am curious about something for some reason (I am quite a curious person) and so I just ask, learn a lot of stuff just asking randoms about shit that they are into/good at and its been very useful in my life (both asking random men and women) and there is no way so many women are into me, there is no way that many are even fucking single its crazy.

so idk, its not that I doubt you or the people I know who tell me these things, but that I don't believe these signs are as strong as they act like they are and are enough on their own for it to be the case.
But I also have skepticism with another trait of mine

Woman texts me good morning every day. We've been talking for almost three weeks now.

What does this mean?
How do I approach this? I appreciate her thinking of me, but what I don't like is the routine of having to respond everyday to it. Maybe her love language are words of affirmation? Idk

>>31115741
>Some of it is upticked attention but there's a quality I call "gooey eyes" I'll post a description of in a bit.
Older post copypasta:

>How do you know if a woman is attracted to you? How do you know if they're making a move on you/flirting with you?
Never wait for 100% confirmation. You won't get it unless she's one of the *rare* forward girls. Women generally don't make moves or approach so much as invite opportunity for you to move.

One anon once said
>my boyfriend looks at me like my grandma and my puppy do.
That sums up the eyes well.
Steady eye contact is a sign of interest or politeness. Pretty standard and inconclusive.
When someone looks at you with interest, their eyes have a captivated look. You might have seen it in someone's, not necessarily a girl's, eyes while in the middle of telling a good story or after you just told a funny joke and are in the middle of telling another one. The eyes communicate "anticipation".
If you get this look, they are interested, for any number of reasons. If you get this look when being boring or mundane, like just greeting them, it is a sign that they are interested In *you* and not what you are saying.

Adoring eyes are more than captivated. I call them "gooey eyes". If you've ever seen the look in someone's eyes as they fuss over a baby, puppy, or kitten, you might have an idea of what I am talking about. They are captivated and appreciative but also somehow softer and more vulnerable.

In addition to the eyes, there are piles of inconclusive clues like them touching their face, fixing their appearance, moving closer, or finding reasons to talk to you. All evidence but no smoking gun. Women don't risk rejection easily and often actually consider you missing clues as a rejection because it's as overt as they get. This can be why a girl will be super nice and then suddenly cold. You were *supposed* to ask her out, didn't, and she takes that as you rejecting her.
...maybe.

>>31120075
She's a pajeeta
Do not redeem saar

How do you make it obvious to women that you only want to hook up and don't want any relationship? Specifically when flirting with her in person.

>>31119986
>>31120020
>The problem and why it can't be true is that a lot of the stuff they point out is done by WAY more women than I have described
I think your confusion is over the level interest. You are clearly generating interest. See >>31120135
And the ones tell you that they're interested in you are reading it that way. And they might be right or they might be misinterpreting the interest.

When I was in highschool, I was a complete social reject. The only reason I wasn't an outcast as a senior was because most everyone had matured out of outright mocking. Obviously, I had zero real romantic success.
Once I got to university, not much changed and I was my typical funny but mostly shy and clueless self.
I got a work study job in the food court attached to my dorm and after w couple weeks working there, the black girls I worked with joked around and said I was a total flirt.
>me: "....wut"
They both went on to talk about how I flirt with every girl that came in.
>me: "....WUT?"

That's when I learned that, apparently, the lighthearted joking and casual chatting I did on reflex, likely out of ADHD boredom at work, was flirting. I mean, I chatted with guys too it's just that girls are always more interesting to me.
I had zero idea that it could be flirting if there was zero intent behind it.

So, you're very likely successfully flirting with these women and walking away unaware. That doesn't mean that all of them wanted to go out with you. Flirting isn't necessarily serious. But you were getting a positive test so you were halfway to a yes.

>it causes a lot of other problems if I operate under the impression they are right
What possible problems? Just talk to women, and if they seem comfortable and like you, ask them out. If they have a boyfriend or aren't interested, then oh well. Nothing lost. Smile and tell them it was great talking them.
I don't see the problem.

Your look doesn't matter, or at least it doesn't invalidate them enjoying your company.

>going back to hometown for a few weeks
>switch my Hinge location to there a week in advance
>get about 3 likes a day
>more matches from swiping
>been here three days and have four dates lined up
>could be more if I broadened my scope to the boring girls
I love dating apps so much it’s unreal.

>>31120276
actually you mentioning that, I do remember in high school being told I flirted with everyone constantly, I had a lot of female friends at the time kind of, a lot of them in my friend group and spent a reasonable amount of time even if only 2 of them were "close" friends (including me group was 4 dudes 9 girls that I regularly hung out with) but I never really consciously was doing this and if you asked me how to flirt id say I have no fucking idea, I just talk to people joke around because thats normal to me, as you said.
realized way later some of them were interested in me but I just picked up on it then or made moves, and I definitely said some things that could be taken as me being completely uninterested in someone who I can look back was interested in me and would have been quite a harsh "rejection" to hear.

I think I am really fucking up at the right mindset going into it and not seeing the opportunity as I just see it as a casual chat, even if I didn't I don't think id do a particularly good job of noticing.
I have had a few occasions were I thought someone was interested so I tried to set something up with them and iv been wrong every time or I guess I should say they all told me they had a boyfriend and maybe they WERE interested but just didn't want to cheat, which I guess is a real possibility but I always took it as a cover, never had anyone be outright cruel to me or anything about so I probably should ask more.


my situation is a bit weird because I had very little interest for a very long time (depression lmao) and have only really even tried for like a year and a half
honestly, it might be a bit of a cope, but I actually don't think I am fucking up too much despite having 0 results, I think I am just fumbling in a few areas badly, lacking a bit of confidence, and my attempt numbers are low (when coupled with what I was considering an attempt)
Il try to play a bit looser with criteria for an attempt and the right mindset, thanks.

>>31120494
You're welcome. And yeah, you've just got to ask more.
For me, I just got into the habit of asking, getting rejected, taking it in stride, continuing chatting, repeat. Then one time, they didn't reject me and I was mentally just like "...um...what? That's not what you're supposed to say...uh...I guess I proceed like this is normal..." And that's how I got dates and a gf. Literally just trying to get rejected, failing, and calmly making it up as I went.

>>31120626
glad to hear its worked for you, I am genuinely happy for you and that you made it happen and it worked out.

got rejected about 6hrs ago, guess I was already starting to put this into practice and subconsciously trending in this direction already, didn't think I had a shot, but thought id just ask anyway, might as well crush any interest or feelings by being rejected, its a nice cold splash of water
still hurt a bit afterwards, but I bet even that will fade and was more for other reasons.

consciously doing this will hopefully accelerate it even further

>>31115461
>it's fun to me to play a different character. so even if I get rejected or found out it doesn't bother me whatsoever

This is exactly why I used to do it. If you’re never authentically seen, you can never be authentically judged & rejected. Whenever one situationship would drop off I’d be relieved, thinking “well, at least she never found out about xyz” or “well, at least now I can spend more time with girl #2 and #3.” It keeps everything very low stakes on an emotional level & I was always getting laid anyway. It takes time to cultivate a good harem. In my prime I’d have somewhere between 3 to 6 women I’d be regularly sleeping with, maybe 1 or 2 genuinely believed it was an actual relationship.

Sometimes I’d lie about random shit. How many siblings I have. My actual age, off by a year or 2. My work history. It would give me just enough edge to stay detached when the situationship eventually ended.

I did get caught before. Once because I gave my main the clap. Another time because I was spotted at the bar on a date. Both times, I fumbled the objectively superior woman so I’m a lot more cautious now.

And it’s riskier nowadays. Women have little groups on social media dedicated to doxing men like me. I could never get away with the kind of things I did 10 years ago. It’s wild to think about the shit I pulled. I was fucking all the time. I was dedicated, organized, efficient.

It’s slowed down for me now. Maybe my inner motivations have shifted, maybe I’m just older & less attractive, maybe a dry spell is a self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe hoeflation has every 4 thinking she’s a 9. Maybe I’m finally ready to get hurt again. Maybe my own behavior has hurt myself far more than women ever did.

>>31119877
If all you do is vidya then yeah it would be too much work. For most people this is just normal life. You are on here for a reason because you want gf but refuse to do anything about it like even just leaving your house and talking to a girl which is unironically all it takes to get a gf. You’re not even willing to do that so you’re a lost cause

41M. I have two dates this weekend. One is a setup and other I met girl at a bar when I Went out with friends. I wasn't interested in a family and didn't pursue any long term relationships. How do I answer question when I am asked about past relationships? f I tell the truth will it be see as a red flag? I have a good job and everything else is in order, but until now a long term relationship was not really something I was interested in.

>>31119667
reporting back in. just fucked her. she actually very much liked the suit oddly enough. legit some of the best sex in my life and I had a bit. like holy shit man she was an actual demon. thanks for the encouragement bro srs. we stay winning

I just made tinder and have a match with a foreign woman 6 years older than I. I'd like to hook up but I'm a newbie at this.

My stats: 5'9" in a tall balkan country, 5-6.5/10 face, slim fit body but a runty skeleton, 6.5" pp but cum I often coom too quick.

What should I message? Any short tutorials I can watch? All I want is ONS and FWBs, no relationshits.

>>31120930
Also, mostly broke student living with parents at 26. Practically a NEET. That was important to mention and I let it slip.

>>31120956
>Also, mostly broke student living with parents at 26
Where will you take her or is it no big deal to bring her home?

>>31121144
She's older and a foreigner, so I think she's got that covered. I get your point. I was single all my youth because of this, but I stopped caring about relationships and monogameme so I'm now ready to be promiscuous with older women who can cover the "logistics". Not gonna spend my youth just jerking off or paying prostitutes simply because I was born into Hardcore mode.

>>31121144
NTA but lmao I just brought them home and it was nbd
idk if maybe my parents were naive or something, but like I just said we were going to watch a movie in my room if asked, put on some shit, hang out, then fuck
my sister would do the same, I literally walked in on her fucking because I didn't know her boyfriend was over and had some reason to just go in without really knocking, did like a half knock thing and entered and they were just there fucking

if you haven't tried I wouldn't assume you couldn't, generally been fine and the case for everyone I know who lives at home and thats been plenty of people

>>31121188
I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing anyone home and I doubt the women would be either. Doesn't help that I live in an apartment, not a house. There's really not enough privacy.

>>31120200
I had this same problem early on and I didn’t know why but discovered that it was because I wasn’t making my intentions clear enough. I have a pleasant and personable personality so this would translate into girls wanting to take me more serious but I learned that it’s all vernacular. You need to make your intentions clear from the start. I don’t mean to state to her that you only want to fuck her like an autist would. I mean subtly comment her features to let her know that you’re thinking about her in a strictly sexual way

>>31120917
It’s not a problem in itself the problem is that you are concerned about it. You lived your life the way you wanted don’t lie about anything you’re just unnecessarily complicating things. Authenticity and honesty go a long way in dating especially today

>>31120728
Excellent! Good work.

I'm an older guy (36), more than a little overweight without being ungodly huge, but I'm told I'm easy to talk to and have a cute smile.

I work with some young women (21-24), and they always make time to come talk to me. I almost always work totally alone, so I'm guessing they feel bad for me and want to include me in the goings-on of the restaurant, but my boss calls me a pimp and makes a big deal about how all these girls are "all over me". I think he's full of shit, but part of me wonders: is he right about all this? Personally I think I radiate what I call "big brother energy". They'll come to me and talk about their problems & anecdotes about their lives.

tl;dr am I retarded?

>>31121487
honestly id say just give it a go and see if they are down to go do something
if ur boss sees them acting like that even if shit goes sideways he will probably think to himself "nah them bitches were all over him, they just making shit up" and u won't cop any flack, unless u do some truly heinous shit.

but absolutely make sure u are cool with the rejection if it doesn't work out and don't make a big deal out of it, just hitting them up to do something thats clear interest and unambiguous isn't a big deal and very easy to move past and continue as normal, but now you know, but if u bitch and moan about it and then act different and a bunch of shit, then its way harder to move past and they will probably not want to deal with you
be careful how you do it, but you definitely may have a shot, and they at least consider you acquaintance/friendly tier so you have the room to flub it a little before there are any problems.

one of my friends was like that, he just thought he was friendly and easy to talk to but couldn't make moves
he just had the right vibe that attracted a lot of a certain type of woman and he didn't get it, watching and hearing him lose out on so many things because he didn't think they were into him and it was something else was just awful

>>31121487
Boss is just joking around, if youre older, overweight and nice to them, youre just a friendly safe guy. I. E. They think you wont try to fuck them. I know because ive veen there, had a "harem" at one job but really i was just the one guy they knew would never do anything. I cant tell if thats what you want, but its likely how they perceive you.

I've been working on improving myself for a few years, how do I cope with the fact that I feel like I've put in a lot of effort while regular women have only gotten progressively worse? Is it even worth it anymore?

>>31120796
What the hell made you that obsessed with women in the first place?
What you describe is insanely labor-intensive. Why not just chillax and bang one or two?

>>31116125
Did your wife end up coming from the apps?

There's a girl I like, we talk on and off, would really like to chat daily and grow closer but she never strikes up a conversation. However she is autistic and says she takes a passive approach in all social interactions. I never know how to read her, obviously if I say something and she never replies and I don't hear anything from her for days I get the feeling she's not interested. Should I just keep striking up a conversation, keep taking the initiative, keep chatting? Should I ask bluntly if she's interested in something friendly or romantic down the line? Or just wait for her to talk to me first once in a while?

This girl in my class and I have been having some good interactions together, being quite flirty if you ask me, but we have not texted or hung out after school yet. She usually does sit next / close to me and we take lunch together usually, but always specifically hangs out with her best (girl) friend.

Now, we got an assignment that we are supposed to do individually but you could do it with two if you wanted. And I assumed she would just do it with her best friend but for some reason she immediately asked me to team up in a joking way (“lets do this assignment together so we can spend even more time together haha; jk please stay away from me haha”;) the joke is that we already have all our classes together so we already spend a lot of time ‘together’. I ofcourse agreed to do the assignment together.

Now my question is: this is obviously her flirting with me and showing her interest right?

>>31120796
the trick is not offering commitment. if you're stringing along different women under the pretense of being loyal to each one it will stress you out. I have a reduced capacity for anxiety compared to neurotypicals and it would still get on my nerves I think. I always use the same script but a different character depending on the woman's preferences and my mood. the point being that I'm truthful about the only thing that matters, that I don't care for them. don't underestimate women, often times they see the signs. they either chose to ignore them because of the attraction or they go along for the ride because the shameless lying and charm turns them on so much that they look for the thrill despite deep down knowing better

>>31115739
Nice advice but its just the same thing I read probably 20 times before but from the perspective of someone with autism. But it's interesting that for most of this kind of wall of text they hardly talk about their progress, their downfalls and so on. It's usually "Yeah I was a virgin without a relationship for ever and now I have smashed a gorillion times! Be Yourself™!"

Not sure if I just misread this situation or what was up, want some validation on if I just misread the signs or I was being reasonable.
I had to do this course thing for 5hrs 3 days a week as apart of some other bullshit, lets cut the useless details
Was 4 people total doing it (me included)
Anyway, there was this girl there, had a few conversations nothing serious, we had a break for lunch in the middle and I would bring my own lunch and that was kind of it.

but some time on the 2nd week I didn't bring lunch, knew there was some places to eat nearby, wasn't sure exactly where they were, so I kind of just went walkabout to see shit, run into her walking back from some place, ask her if she knows anywhere decent to eat, she mentions this cafe and that was just getting a drink from there, thank her and go to head in that direction.
So I grab a drink and some food, and like 10-15min later she comes in there and sits down at the table and starts talking to me, thought it was a bit random and there was probably something else up.
Next day I go same place, grab some lunch and go to head back, she comes with me and gets something as well, some minor conversation, talks about some personal stuff and this continues on for the last day of the week

but then next week stuff changes, shes finishing up something as we were meant to break for lunch, as I was about to leave she asks me to wait for her so we can go together, she doesn't get anything to eat or drink and I just grabbed a drink
I go walk around and check out some other stuff before heading back and she comes with me
she starts sitting next to me in the room when prior no one sat near each other (was a lot of space), gets a bit more touchy feely and physical, same thing at lunch, ask her why she came if she didn't want anything, tells me she just wanted to talk with me, at this point I definitely think something is up.

Few days later the perfect chance comes up, come back from lunch and the instructor gets a call

>>31121569
That's exactly what I think about it all too. It sucks, but nothing to be done about it. Oh well, thanks

>>31114562
Is it a good idea or weird to use the extend match thing on bumble?

>>31114616
>>31120796
>>31121695

Brutal that guys like this fuck harems of women while good balanced guys are stuck inside dying of loneliness. Fuck this gay earth

>>31121789
that something with her kid has happened and she needs to come sort it out, or something, fucked if I remember
so shes going to go grab her daughter and come back and shes going to be here with her for a little bit and we can just chill, so we go out on this like balcony/roof setup and just talk for a while more while the other two dudes went off to go somewhere, this is a pretty private setup and has a solid view
spring the question if she would be interested in doing something after class one of these days, asks me about what kind of stuff, tell her maybe we can grab a drink or because class finishes late we get some dinner, unless she has something else fun to do that she can think of
I immediately get hit by the "I have a boyfriend, but thanks"
just kind of go "oh okay no worries" and continue chatting about random bullshit

2 more weeks of this course at this point (so 6 days) and she doesn't sit near me anymore, but still comes if I go get lunch or a drink, comes over to talk to me and sits next to me during lunch times if I hang back there instead of leaving.

did I fuck up some chance here? just mixed signals? was I unreasonable for what I concluded? she just crazy?
seemed fairly reasonable to me to think that she was interested.

>>31121789
>>31121815
>was I unreasonable for what I concluded?
Not at all, a common "move" for women is to frequently get around you but they're waiting for you to make the actual move of asking them out. They think they're giving you the opportunity and they every guy can read their minds, it's honestly pretty frustrating that women don't just make their intentions more clear especially since it's something they want.
Based on what you've said, I would have made the same conclusion and asked her out if I was interested, too.
>seemed fairly reasonable to me to think that she was interested.
Again, it absolutely was. She is not very good at displaying her intentions as it seems now, after asking her out, that she was probably only looking for something of a "friend" for this course, someone to talk to during downtime and whatnot.
It is also possible that there is a boyfriend but they're not in a good place and she was kind of shopping around, seeing if she's still got it. She now knows she has you on a hook as either a way of just ego boosting for her or sees you as a backup/rebound for if things get more sour with the boyfriend (assuming they even are).

I would say you didn't fuck up at all. You're also doing the right thing being an adult who can speak to her afterwards despite her nonsense behavior (which includes never bringing up the boyfriend in any stories, it seems).
If she TRULY didn't see how her actions had been something comparable to leading you on, she doesn't understand social interactions all too well. If she DID understand but didn't care? She's kind of an asshole, at least to you for some reason.

Keep chatting with her if you feel comfortable enough doing so, but you're also in the right to be kind of cold with her. Knowingly or not, she fucked with you. Sorry, man.

>>31121799
Well you could try looksmaxxing since that's really the only thing that actually works anymore.

>>31121804
They probably see it as "desperate" cause they're idiots. Just tell yourself that if you matched and she didn't make the move as she was then supposed to, she fucked up, not you. You did your part, she didn't do hers. Better luck next time.

Woman texts me throughout the day, "hope you have a great day. I'm having lunch HBU? Good morning. Hru" etc. I'm a little dry with my replies. After a week of this I tell her I appreciate the random messages I get from her throughout the day.
She does not reply.

???? Wat

>>31121885
thanks anon
this happened a while back but reading about the talk on rejection further up got me thinking about it
I did keep talking to her, I thought she had mentioned she was single as well earlier, or had mentioned breaking up with her ex in some context, but that doesn't necessarily imply there was no one else she got with after that since then.

I thought maybe I was just reading too much into things and it was obvious she just wanted solely a friend for the course or something, but a lot of the stuff she did was VERY proactive towards me and she overshared a lot of personal details, to me the big line was when she was asking to have lunch with me (which happened a few times, as I would kind of just head out and do my own thing if we hadn't even spoken or anything, not like rushing or anything, plenty of time to say something, and she would) and like going out of her way to spend time with me even if she didn't need anything, especially on the occasions where she couldn't immediately come for some reason, wouldn't ask me to grab something for her and bring it back or w/e, but specifically wait which is very different from friend behaviour, I would tell a friend "oh wait for me so we can go together" for something like that but would instead be like "can you grab me X as well?" which idk maybe that depends on the person thats more the type of situation.

idk I kept talking to her but I just kept it really casual and probably a bit colder as I was significantly less invested in even keeping up a conversation or even caring at all if it went anywhere, I kind of just doubled down on doing my own thing, maybe she just didn't like being alone or whatever, who the fuck knows.
Honestly was only interested because she was really easy to talk to, one of two women I have meet who I could just effortlessly have a bullshit conversation with, maybe from the effort she put into it idk
other was a highish class hooker, was especially good at it, but thats her job

>>31114562
Dis bitch looks built for BBC.

>>31114562
Not sure if I'm looking into this too much or not. The other day I asked a girl(10/10 chunky Latina) at my job for her Instagram under the impression she was single. When I asked, she got kind of excited and even let out a small "yay". Turns out she's posted her fella a few times on her page.
I feigned apology for not knowing she was taken after we exchanged greetings, and it was kind of over after that. Was she trying to tell me something by getting so giddy? I don't think i could bring myself to fuck someone's girl but I wanna know what she meant by that.
Thoughts, anons?

>>31119118
This is basically what I was doing, so now I'm confused.

>>31122005
>kept it really casual and probably a bit colder as I was significantly less invested in even keeping up a conversation or even caring at all if it went anywhere
Kind of inevitable, you didn't do anything wrong there. If she rejected you and you got MORE interested, I'd tell you you're a psychopath, likely the villain from some 2000s romantic comedy.
>only interested because she was really easy to talk to
Yeah I know that feeling. I've posted elsewhere in this thread about a girl I'm struggling with and part of the reason I felt a connection was how easy it is to talk to her and how much she seems to enjoy it, too. Can't really have a good relationship if you two can't communicate, so when the foundation is so apparent, it's easy for your thoughts to start thinking positively about you two having something.

I suffer from this as well, so this is more of a "do as I say, not as I do"-type piece of advice, but: if you're finding yourself thinking about this gal and the oddities of your relationship/interactions, I'd say try to move on as much as possible because it sounds like there's nothing else to really learn from it. I truly think you were right to ask her out and also would like to give you props for handling the rejection really well. That's kind of all there is to it.

Also yes, don't take your interaction with a hooker to mean anything at all, obviously. God only knows what she's like off the clock, that was a performance.

>>31122145
yeah im not thinking about this girl, moreso reevaluating times I made approaches I was "sure" of and then turned out badly and this one came to mind, as it was recent-ish but still a while ago
oh yeah I know it was a performance by the prostitute, I just meant yeah shes really good at her job for being able to make conversation flow smoothly, which is a significant part of her job, not just fucking.

half related, I have noticed a chunk of people have "pre-canned" discussion points and shit they just repeat ad nauseam and use these to facilitate keeping discussion going and repeat themselves a lot, repeat the same jokes, and so on, just to different people, but when you know this person and you see it multiple times it feels weird and they seem less than real to me (or something, idk how to explain it) while I personally just come up with stuff on the spot and that seems to be the case for most people, I assume any pros or anyone like that where there is a lot of involvement with customers has a lot of those pre-canned things to point out, talk about, etc which is why everything can flow smoothly as its practiced "routine" and shes guiding discussion.
Noticed it before with hookers I saw multiple times, just saying really similar shit and trying to guide the discussion, get some serious fucking deja vu, have no doubt she and others do this too but with varying levels of effectiveness and different amount of prepared stuff to say.

couldn't fucking imagine telling the same joke, id get fucking bored of it, I tell jokes as much for myself as I do for other, idc if others find it funny or not I guess, I think its funny which is why I said it

>>31115971
Only shit anon. The exact same thing happened to me this week. Exact same play by play. Met through hinge. We both have geeky hobbies. Take her out on two dates. She cancels the third the day of and says she didn’t feel a romantic spark. You live in central Florida? Maybe it was the same girl lol

>>31122268
Nope, I'm up in the north. Reassuring to hear I'm not the only one who just went through this kek

>>31122286
Stay strong bro. I was also ghosted by a couple chicks right after. But I’ve still got things lining for this weekend and beyond for dates. We’re all going to make it

>>31122306
>>31122286
Also want to add that I was moving fairly fast with the girl I was seeing. Kissed her at the end of both dates. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t feeling it despite perceived romantic action. No need to beat yourself up thinking “if only I kissed her it would have worked out”

>>31122139
Ah, but we're you being deceitful in your manipulation?
People have a tendency to reject those that deceive or manipulate them.
The shift from your presented best self to your genuine self should be less like taking off a mask and more like slipping out of your best outfit and into comfy worn out sleepwear.

>>31122338
>People have a tendency to reject those that deceive or manipulate them

Is that why women are attracted to dark triad men?

>>31121995
Bump

How do you initiate conversations with women or people in general? I'm talking about places where this is socially acceptable, school, college, parties..etc. Not random strangers on the street.

I don't have a problem with keeping convos going or if someone talks to me first but making the first move always leaves me stuck

>>31121487
>I'm an older guy (36), more than a little overweight
Your age isn't really an issue, so just how fat are you? I'd get to work on hitting the gym asap. Like others said, its fine to ask these girls to hangout if you can be chill about it, I'm pretty sure they'd at least go out with you once to get to know you better, since it doesn't sound like you have anything built up in your mind about these girls it's not a big deal whatever happens

>>31116720
Normally I'd say you're fine if you don't have the Indian accent and look good by Indian standards and don't smell. If you're from the north and over 6 feet you can pull off the tall dark and handsome look. If you're dravidian or short you're fucked though.

You're right that I would never want to be Indian, but there's a billion and a half people in your country so I'm assuming there's something that keeps you starting familes. Maybe arranged marriage isn't as bad as it seems.

>>31121669
Is this high school or college?
>this is obviously her flirting with me and showing her interest right?
It pretty much sounds like you're already dating. Does she have a boyfriend? Is she touchy with you? I'd make plans to meet up with her alone after school to work on the assignment and basically consider it a date

>>31116925
>Every child has memorized everything written in this post before getting to HS.
Clearly not, or else people wouldn't be here asking for advice on these exact topics

>>31121246
Thanks for the perspective

>>31121487
Another thing to consider is what exactly is your job? You're 36. Do you have a career trajectory in the corporate world or something like a bartender? If you are in a good position in corporate world you may want to be careful doing anything that could get you fired or stale your future earning potential.

>>31122703
yes they would because nothing in his post involves ever getting to communicate with a woman

they're just empty phrases bombarded on social media with no real life coverage

they're just nice sounding platituted which do not involve ever speaking to women

reread his post, not a single mention of ever speaking to a human being using words, just 40 yo shut in incel obsessed with repeating the same autistic phrases beloved by reddit

his post does not have any advice, just empty platitudes spoken as broadly as possible to be as useless as possible pretending his droplet is as deep as an ocean when in fact all it is advice on how what to post to be get updoots as a 40 yo virgin

Partially thanks to this general I was able to land a GF a few months ago, but now I've encountered a new set of problems.
tl;dr my GF is a victim of the typical 2010s girlboss feminist conditioning.
It's weird, because based on her actions and personality it doesn't suits her nature at all, and seems to actively stress her out. I think part of her adoption of this mindset is also a reaction to trauma. She's a really sweet girl, but again because she's been told "girlboss is an ideal for women to aspire to" she follows it.

>>31121810
>Brutal that guys like this fuck harems of women while good balanced guys are stuck inside dying of loneliness
You need to be sociopathmaxxing or you're not gonna make it

>>31121789
Sounds like this girl wanted you as her class boyfriend while also keeping her home boyfriend for now
>she starts sitting next to me in the room when prior no one sat near each other (was a lot of space), gets a bit more touchy feely and physical
I've had girls really cuddle up with me in class and look at me like they want me to kiss them even though they had boyfriends
>so we go out on this like balcony/roof setup and just talk for a while more while the other two dudes went off to go somewhere, this is a pretty private setup and has a solid view
She probably wouldn't have stopped you if you tried to kiss her here. It might go further if you knew you needed to be sneaky about it, but clearly she didn't want a real relationship.

>>31121643
A lot of things. If I was going to pathologize my behavior as I understand it, I guess it likely had to do with a fear of abandonment, trust issues, & what was probably a borderline sex addiction that I used as a coping mechanism. You could be totally stalled out in life, absolutely directionless, detached, but if you keep having sex with multiple women you're actually attracted to you feel like you're winning the game of life.

>>31121695
>don't underestimate women, often times they see the signs. they either chose to ignore them because of the attraction or they go along for the ride because the shameless lying and charm turns them on so much that they look for the thrill despite deep down knowing better

100%. I've noticed this as well. There were times when something I'd said would be met with incredulity, even suspicion, but they liked my game and/or they just found me attractive enough to just roll with it. There were plenty of situationships where they made it clear they didn't see my potential as a longterm partner.

>>31121810
Trust me, I know. It's a fucked up world. The way I see it, modern dating is a game is rigged in favor of women. It's not cheating if the game is rigged. You gotta step up and be a little more cut throat.

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>>31122348
>triad

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Anyone else get an extremely sudden realization of how fucked you are? I've been going to the gym for months and have made considerable progress in improving my body when I looked in the mirror after a set and it kind of hit me that I'm still just as ugly as before. God hit me with a fucking double-whammy of recessed chin + complete inability to grow facial hair, and I just kind of sat there thinking about how no amount of heavy weights can ever change that. I'll probably keep going just because I guess I'd rather my body at least look good, but fuck it hurts to think about the dozens of dudes I know who do literally none of this shit and go through gfs annually meanwhile I've never so much as been complimented in my entire fucking life. Blogpost over - sorry.

>>31122348
Nah, that'd be the perceived confidence and capability.

I was specifically talking about deceiving or manipulating and then being genuine afterwards.

>>31122554
You need an ice breaker. Any initial excuse to talk. For me it is usually an observation or joke based on the surrounding environment or situation. I have helped women reach hi stuff of grocery shelves or find stuff weirdly located and joked about how different stores match items differently. Or I will relate something to an amusing fact or story that I have learned. Having a ton of varied experiences, facts, or anecdotes helps. And learning to relay them in an entertaining way helps. I have a great story about the nature of honor that I learned plays better if I call the guy a knight instead of Nightcrawler from the X-Men. You learn what works.

>>31123374
Working out is never a negative. The more you do it, the more naturally confident you feel.

Honestly, just keep trying. Your face is your face, but even that changes with time. I didn't really start getting serious attention from women until I turned 30 and got more mature looking.

There are a lot of ways to change and improve your life, but the results take time. Just keep at it.

>>31123382
hey juden peterstein

>>31121810
Is fucking harems of women what you want for your life?
If so, what are you doing to move towards that?

>>31121934
I'm too ugly for what I would like, but not ugly enough for what likes me. I was already in a relationship with someone I wasn't attracted to, and if I have to choose between that and loneliness, then I choose being alone

>>31115843
story?

>>31123599
I've only ever done that once. In my last relationship I was hardly attracted to her at all. Fucking her was a chore & she liked it rough, so there was no phoning it in.

I just stayed with her to cut down on expenses & advance my career. Once I'd had enough I bounced. I still keep her on the back burner. I'm not sure for what even. A part of me believes she could be more useful in the future

check hoe math on youtube out, like that guy

>>31123239
>narcissism
>self improvement

sign me up, fuckers

>>31123239
This is like, inspirational to me. Any more?

>>31121653
No, I have fucked girls off of apps but not many. Like I said I’m more old school and in person type of guy so I liked to meet women irl. I met my wife in college at a party. I have multiple friends who found serious long term relationships on apps a couple of them even got married or engaged. There is a lot of garbage women out there but you just need to get out there and sift through the trash. You’ll find a diamond like I did. It takes time and a lot of exposure and leaving your comfort zone but it’s totally doable.
>>31122716
Hope it helps bro

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>>31114562
I saw a cashier today at my local Dollar Tree... Guys, I'm goin' for it..

Does anyone have any advice specific to hooking up with girls while you still live with other people? I have no problem with attracting girls, but I have no place to take them.

Has anyone else been under similar circumstances?

>>31114562
She's got a very cute face but how does have saggy pancake boob when she's so young???

Serious question, but do women care if you have zero experience?

>>31124233
bumping for interest

>>31124233
Do you live with your parents or do you have roommates?
If roommates, put a sock or tie on your bedroom doorknob.
If that doesn't work, car sex is the old reliable.