I don't mind working, but the problem is that's all my life is. I was a "gifted" kid in school, but again, I had no life outside of school. I was bullied in school, the few kids who didn't bully me didn't live nearby, so I had no contact with them outside of school, and the kids in my neighborhood didn't go outside, so my only source of entertainment was cartoons, video games, and the internet.By middle school, I was extremely lonely and depressed. My grades started slipping because I was too depressed to care. I reached out to my family, teachers, and school authority figures for help, but all they gave me was empty platitudes. I've never truly been a kid or a teenager. My life was robbed of me due to things outside of school. I turn 30 in a few months and the last time I laughed, smiled, or truly enjoyed anything was almost 20 years ago.I have nothing. No childhood memories, no friendships, no real family. I have no life.I desperately wish to change this and start living life, but nothing fills the void of having no childhood. I'm not even half a person, I'm a complete blank with nothing. I missed on all of the experiences a person needs to become a healthy, well-adjusted person. It's hard to keep going when you're alone and have nothing back to look back on and nothing to look forward do.Is there any way I can turn things around and start enjoying life?
>>31117330sounds like a perfect opportunity to return to monke and get a real understanding of nothingness
>>31117330I went through this when I finished school and started university. All of a sudden, my grades didn't impress anybody anymore, people were just as good as I was... when you're a kid and you sort of become the "best" in something, you get lazy and comfortable, but life will eventually show you that these things are not real. Good things take time and effort, a lot of dedication behind people's stories of success, although sometimes we can't see it.I think you're living in the past, and you have to overcome it. You're already an adult and yet your head remains in the hs performance, which people no longer care or remember. Your friends probably forgot who you even is. It's time to understand that the fact you were good in hs doesn't really mean anything. It's just something you still carry with you with pride. Once you give up on that and realize you're not better, you're just as equal as anybody, then perhaps you can move. Live new experiences. Take a drive, go to the beach, meet new people. It ain't hard, just takes a little bit of courage. If you're too much stuck in the past, time will keep going, and when you finally realize it, you won't be able to catch up. Live your life, dude. Forget about your old shit, they are irrelevant.
>>31117382How? I don't enjoy anything. I get no enjoyment out of the things "adults" do, nor can I do the things kids and teens do.
>>31117402Eventually you're gonna have to find joy in what you do, Anon. It's either that or suffer your whole life. I'd suggest perhaps taking a break from everything. Get your car and go have some fun somewhere. Make contact with people. Work on yourself. Become someone approachable, and then go from there. You know exactly what and how you have to do it, man. Trust your guts and go throught it. But for real, leave this whole "I was the best" behind man, you're no longer that guy.
>>31117330It's never too late i guess, you will have to learn everything you didn't learn in the past 20 years>How to make friends>How to have a relationship>How to connect with people>Etc,etc.
>>31117330>I reached out to my family, teachers, and school authority figures for help, but all they gave me was empty platitudes.reach out to different people that don't suck thenif you had a joint ache and you talked to a doctor and they said it was in your head would you mope for 20 years or try to find a doctor that wasn't full of shit
>>31117544These are the same bullshit empty platitudes I was talking about. And I never said anything about being "the best". The issue is that I never had a childhood or teen years at all.When other people talk about their past experiences (childhood, teen years), I'm left out of the conversation, because I never experienced those stages of life.
>>31117555I already know all of that stuff. That's not the problem.
>>31117594Because it's that simple, Anon. That's what you're not getting into your head. You wanna build connections, live life, create experiences? Then go out there and do it, man. Think about it, what the fuck held you 20 years ago from trying new shit? NOTHING but your lazy ass. Like I said, dude. You're stuck. Go out there and have some fun. Watch some movies, read some books, have some shit to talk to people when they reach out to you. People are not walking around talking about the trip they had to Dubai. It's just mundane superficial shit everybody can talk about.You wanna do it? You go outside and do it. That fucking simple.
>>31117570I have tried. I've tried meeting new people and reaching out to them too. They don't say anything different.
>>31117619(you) of agreement
>>31117619I couldn't 20 years ago, because when I did, I was alone out there. Going outside and doing shit is dependent on there being other people outside to do shit with. There weren't back then, and there still aren't now. Since I'm not going to meet people outside, my only choice is to stay home.
>>31117638Then don't bitch about it, dude. People are out there. Just reach out to them, wtf. Call your old friends, catch up, talk some random shit, see what happens. Put yourself out there. Like I said, become approachable man... you're fucking defensive. Be open about experimenting and trying new things. Shove that finger into your asshole and you'll see.
>>31117651>Call your old friendsWhat old friends? Read the fucking OP. I never any.
>>31117662BruhHoly fuck, dude. Just answer me something real quick: in a scale of 0 to 10, how is your looking? Are you fat? Were you fat and dense back then? Because holy fuck dude, not A SINGLE PERSON. Goddamn.
>>31117674Why are you suddenly asking about my looks? That's completely irrelevant to the topic at hand.But to answer, no, I was and still am skinny-average. But that doesn't matter because fat kids had friends.Like I said; bullied at school, nobody my age at home. So I grew up completely isolated socially.
>>31117330Where are you from manAlso if you have discord just feel free to vent or whatever there, I’m overcoming just the exact situation, I’ll listen to whatever you need
>>31117731I abandoned all internet communities in my mid-teens because they weren't filling the void anymore. They were not a satisfying replacement for the IRL connections I was lacking.
>>31117330Hey sounds like my shithole growing up except my brothers were schizophrenic and my father died of cancer.Fuck your hometown. Shithole place. Parents probably did you no favors either. Fuck them and move away. I haven't seen my hometown in 10 years. Not once homesick. I hope a misguided nuke misses some strategic target and wipes my hometown off the face of this earth.I met a foreign woman. No cultural expectations. Basic human connection was built. Married 7 years now. I do everything for her to be happy and she does for me too. We had a kid and it's a joy.My hobbies now are enjoying all the toys I missed out as a kid. I wasn't in the mindset until I met my wife and enjoy being a kid now. I make good money and have no debt other than my mortgage so it's how I treat myself.It's possible to bounce back.
>>31117330Most people throughout history never actually had a "childhood" they were taught to grow up fast and most childlike behaviors were looked down upon and discouraged. The thing you're feeling is a sense of missing out on what everyone else had. The only advice I can give to you is to have some sort of experience everyone else wants but can't get.
>>31117402Probably not true. The reason you can't appreciate anything is because you're deeply unhappy with your life. You have to resolve your core issue first then you'll start to enjoy everything. Its like they say when you're in love food tastes better. Well its true when you're happy too.
>>31117736meet people you find online in real life. you're probably gonna say that couldn't happen but I know two people who are life long friends that just did that.
>>31117594Important question: when this comes up do you admit to people that you had no childhood experiences because you were always bullied or left out or do you not mention it?
>>31119067I second traveling. Especially to a worse off place. OP you wouldn't care about this petty shit if you had to live like people in nepal.
>>31117330Do you have a purpose in life? Is your work meaningful? What is your ultimate goal at the end of it all?
>>31117330Join Asatru Folk Assembly
>>31117613Your answers seem a little inconsistent
>>31117651>People are out there.They aren't.>>31119775>The only advice I can give to you is to have some sort of experience everyone else wants but can't get.Not OP but I would like to read some (realistic) examples.
>>31119826What do you mean by realistic examples? Obviously it has to be something most people can't do but are you just gonna say its unrealistic on those grounds?
>>31119841Ok then give me the unrealistic examples. I'm just curious, I have no idea what such things would be.
>>31119861Easiest example is probably doing extreme sports, getting skilled in some sort of art, making it modestly rich, living out some sort of degenerate sexual fetish, becoming efamous, owning an exotic pet, camping in some remote place or getting in tuned with nature, traveling in general, learning other languages, starting a popular website, getting fit, causing some sort of political change, use your imagination though because everyone values different things what impresses one will turn off others
>>31119787The core issue is that I'm lonely. That's the only problem I have with my life. It's a problem I've had my entire life.
>>31120162Okay where are you meeting people now? What are your interaction like after you meet people? What are your interactions like with people you know? When do you contact people? Do you initiate relationships with other people or them with you? What types of people are you around? What is your general goal and what are the goals of people around you? How deep are the relationships people know have with people other than you?
>>31120226>where are you meeting people now?Nowhere. I try to, but the people aren't there.>What are your interaction like after you meet people?N/A because I don't met anyone>What are your interactions like with people you know? I don't know anyone, so non-existent.>When do you contact people? Never, because that would require me to have people to contact in the first place.>Do you initiate relationships with other people or them with you?Neither because there are no people>What types of people are you around?None>What is your general goalTo make friends>what are the goals of people around you?Non-existent because there are no people around me>How deep are the relationships people know have with people other than you?Even if I did know people, that's not something I'd know. I can't read people's minds.
>>31120250Oh ok so your problem is just meeting people. Okay anon well I have a hack for you. Once you meet someone, anyone, just get them to introduce you to someone else. Thats it thats all you gotta do then you can meet infinite people. So just do whatever it takes to make that first meeting. Honestly I suggest moving to a city and if you live in the us move to a more friendly area like the south where people don't mind humoring strangers. You can easily find people at bars and stuff they're always open to meeting strangers.
>>31120273I already live in a city in the south.I tried bars but I don't drink, and the people there were not open to strangers at all.
>>31120285Can you name the city? I find that kinda surprising people were pretty friendly down there when I visited.
>>31120291Albany Georgia
>>31120322Doesn't really seem that big? IDK maybe move somewhere bigger or somewhere else nearby where people are more friendly thats all I can say. If you think people aren't friendly there what more can I offer? The only other question is are they only treating you that way or is that the culture.
hey anon people are complaining about the same shit on your favorite board >>>/r9k/77251619 point is ya'll say the same thing yet none of you want to meet, real funny
>>31120410If we live in different corner of the country/planet, then meeting up is a hassle, expensive, and we're not going to form any kind of real bond only seeing each other once or twice a year.
>>31120273that doesn't solve the initial problem of meeting someone
>>31117330As a gifted child who went through a lot of trauma and was fucked up for life, I'm pretty thankful that I just get to enjoy simple pleasures like reading, exercising, cooking, playing vidya, etc. I'll probably never connect with another human but that's OK.
>>31121214All that shit is just boring and depressing to me. I lost the ability to enjoy solo activities around 10-12.Besides, it's hard to feel thankful for that when everything else has those things AND connections with other people. Those things are nice, but not when they're ALL you have
>>31121147nigger you can easily meet someone just by going to meetup dot com, go to a bar, go to an event, take a class, volunteer or go to church, or get a part time job. It doesn't fucking matter because you don't actually care about who the person you're meeting you just need them to introduce you to someone else.
>>31120453>uwwwua I'm so lonely but making connections is such a hassle Dude if you literally have no one in your life then you should move to meet anyone. Solitary confinement is a punishment for prisoners and tons of them go insane. Why don't you become roomtates or couchsurf with these people or just get a new job in their city.
>>31122541>going to meetup dot comDead here. It's all online stuff and religious events.>Go to a barThe younger generations largely don't drink. Bars have been dying for a while go. I was going, but stopped because everyone there was antisocial and wanted nothing to do with anyone they didn't already know. I couldn't even join a game of pool. Plus the food and drinks are overpriced.>Go to an eventSame as above, people just go with people they already know. They're not there to meet new people.>Take a class, voluneteerDon't have the free time for either.>get a part time job.I already have a job.
>>31122557I don't want roommates. I like living alone. I need alone time and privacy to unwind. I don't want to be around others 24/7, I just want some friends.
