How do I explain to a narcissistic mother that she basically ruined my life? Legitimately also, not just angsty whining.
If the person in question is a narcissist then they'd feel no remorse, shame, guilt etc if you DID explain these things, so there's no point. You'd get the same effect talking to your bedroom wall
>>31118899I just want her to know that she never helped me, she did nothing but hold me down in life and I was never able to escape her. That's all I wanted, was just to leave her and being under their roof, but the harder I tried, the worse it got.
Maybe you're right and I need to realize that talking to her will do nothing and it'll always be about her and her way. I think the issue here is that I never had the balls to stand up to her, I always just took no as no because there would always be issues with everything I wanted to do in life and now I'm starting to regret that I wasn't a stronger person. These people don't feel, it's always going to be about them, and maybe I have to realize that I'm not getting an apology and she doesn't care unless it serves her, and her ideals about me that have put a damper on my existence.
bmap
>>31118888As other anons said, she could feel no regret,The best for you is going away and ghosting her.Any interaction with her will make you feel bad.So cut this cycle now.She belongs to your sad past. Move on.
>>31119403You're right, and I should have done it sooner. She is not in control of me, I'm a grown man. My life has been about her and has revolved around her and it has done nothing for me. It hasn't caused or bring any improvement or change, it has done nothing but held me down and back in life. I have to realize this isn't for her, and she doesn't need to comment or control every aspect of my life, if I want to do something, I should do it. I don't have to ask mommy for approval or anything else, I have to break the mental and emotional hold that she's had on me.
>>31118888She already knows that and she doesn't care.
>>31119601>>31119714She fucks me over when she can, like her cancelling her card which got my phone shut off. She won't get me another phone, and won't get the house phone fixed so I can't get a job. She wants to get me on disability(I don't want, I don't need it), I never got a fair shot. You know, getting a job, a car, saving, moving out and on into my own life. I never got that, and she's done nothing but destroy everything that's cam in my path and used it to manipulate me. This also includes not letting me buy a car and everything.
>>31119753I have to realize that she doesn't care, she doesn't feel any remorse or empathy. She knew she was ruining my life, and I should have listened to people more that told me to just leave. I could never just leave, I had nothing, and was always under the threat of them literally coming and finding me or her getting into my life again and causing problems. She's the same person that drove me an my roommates insane, and fucked up our relationships, she doesn't care, it's about her, always has to be about her, how she's going to control, how she's going to dictate, how she's going to get in the way, what she can take, what she can ruin, and I'm sitting here with an unhappy life, being an unhappy person with nothing and no one and that's all she wants for me and I wanted more. I wanted to run away from a bad life and make a better one, and she didn't let me. She did everything she could, she even admitted she fucked up Richmond for me with the intentions of getting me back under her roof. This isn't someone that's wanting the best for me, this person hasn't helped me, I'm not better, I'm not living a better, happier, healthier, fulfilling life, and I have to realize that she doesn't care, she's never cared, and I know this.
>>31119753She's doing it consciously, why do you think you can "explain" that it's wrong?
>>31118888Not worth the effort. But focus on shaming, not enraging.
>>31119771>>31119771I guess I just want her to say sorry, and let me go. But so much time has passed, I'm almost 33. I never got to get out and worry about myself and my life, my parents were already in my shit two weeks in and didn't stop until I had to come here. She's always been like that, she "helps" and fucks everything up and you don't know why. Then she'll complain, I'm a loser, I'm a fat fuck, I'm a drunk, I'm all these things, and I'm sitting there like "I'm this way because of you". I never got to just leave, grow, and develop, I got sent back into drinking because or her, I had to leave Richmond full of problems because of her, I had to have my whole life be about her. I couldn't get bank accounts, I couldn't save money, I couldn't have IRS money to come my name because I didn't have an account, she's even stolen money from me and I don't know why the fuck I expect anything or what a talk will do. It's not going to get me back the lost time, just be in regret that I didn't listen to the people that told me to do something earlier on. Like getting an actual protective order against my parents ,which lately, I'm very regretful about.
>>31118904>she never helped medid she never feed you or let you sleep under her roof? did she never buy you clothes so you could go to school? stop being such a narcissist faggot, the world doesn't revolve around you, nobody is obligated to cater to your mental-illness-of-the-month.
>>31119915>did she never feed you or let you sleep under her roof? did she never buy you clothes so you could go to school?That means nothing, she was supposed to do that.
>>31118888Get a job faggot
>>31119920No shit.
>>31119918>nooo that doesn't countthanks for confirming your narcissism. your whining can now be safely ignored.
>>31119915> stop being such a narcissist faggot, the world doesn't revolve around you, nobody is obligated to cater to your mental-illness-of-the-month.And knowing what narcissism means may help you out, I'm not asking for my life to revolve around anyone but myself. That's the problem here, my life being forced to revolve around someone else's when I didn't want it too. I'm entitled to my own fucking being and allowed to say when someone or something isn't helping and had kept me down. There's no reason I should be here in this house, and she almost loves it that I'm here and makes me feel like shit when she intentionally reminds me of what she caused me to lose or not have. It's like a game to her, and she loves it, she'll do the same thing with my dad and brother, she's the know-it-all and you have to follow and listen to her, have your life about her. I shouldn't be doing this, and no reason I should be here, but it was just another thing she fucked up and rubs in my face. That's not normal behavior, even when your son is saying "Mom, I'm not happy and I don't wan the life you want for me", and completely ignoring him and sabotaging everything.
>>31119951Yeah, that was her job as a parent and something to do by default. That doesn't just instantly cancel anything out because she had basic duties as a parent. A parent's job is to raise their kid so they can survive in a world and life of their own, she didn't do that for me. It had to be all about her, if it's my life it should have to deal with me, but it's about my fucking mom.
BumpRelatable
>>31118888Look up the scapehoat club on yt and realize this is not a good plan.
>>31121565https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bmCxC_Gyhkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL9kKE3ew_whttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMZi70Eidfw
>>31121590I've seen one of her videos, mentioning how people in my situation feel helpless and stuck. She's right.
>>31118888You don't. It's not worth the trouble. You only wish to do this to hurt her back and continue the cycle. It's not your fault, we all do. I am struggling with this right now. Move on, seek enlightenment.
>>31118888>>31118958If you need to stand up to her for your own sake, sure it might be worth it. I wouldn't bother to do this with mine. I have always just wanted to be as far away from her as I could possibly be. It's not like she denied me a good upbringing - she was simply not capable of giving me one, just like she is not capable of feeling regret, remorse, or shame. From my perspective, confronting my mother would serve no purpose. Nothing would be gained, for me or for her. Maybe it is different for you. Ponder it.
Bump
>>3111981834 I mean, I'm almost in my mid 30s, and I missed a lot of life dealing with this. She doesn't care about my pain, addictions, depression,loneliness anything.
>>31122390I've got some advice in this thread, I need to take it. Venting helps, but it's not going to fix the damage.
