TL;DR Girlfriend won't talk to me after i said I would only marry her if she gives me a child (she doesn't want children) >her: I've been thinking lately and I feel comfortable with you, I would lie to you if I said you are a perfect man, but you are perfect for me, so let's get married, the fact that I'm asking you irritates me but take this as a signal that Im certain about us>me: I don't know, you said you don't want children and I really want to have children, this is a deal breaker to me >her: That's it? That's your reason? You see that's the thing, at first I thought you're not the one to play games with emotions and commitment and I found it very comforting, but now it turns out you are just like my other exes, all you're asking from me is "insurance" for your commitment, a child is like a wedding ring in your eyes. You're just as shallow as everyone else.>me: I wasn't not your first kiss, your first love or your first time. You have nothing to prove to me that I'm special to you at any degree, if I wasn't the 'first one' that means I may as well be just "another one" among the men you have been with. I understand that a child may not be a guarantee that we will stay together forever but at least will be a proof that I'm the man you loved the most >She starts sobbing and leave the apartment She used to be a slut, at least i want her to give me something that she has never given to another man if she truly wants my commitment. Is that too much to ask? I just want to feel I'm special to her.
>>31119353You are right anon. Keep being a man.Never let go your mission to be a father.She will accept it or get out of your life.Keep pushing for it.
>>31119353>me: I wasn't not your first kiss, your first love or your first time. You have nothing to prove to me that I'm special to you at any degree, if I wasn't the 'first one' that means I may as well be just "another one" among the men you have been with. I understand that a child may not be a guarantee that we will stay together forever but at least will be a proof that I'm the man you loved the mostDid everyone start clapping?
>>31119353>I've been thinking lately and I feel comfortable with you, I would lie to you if I said you are a perfect man, but you are perfect for me, so let's get married, the fact that I'm asking you irritates me but take this as a signal that Im certain about usThis sounds so cold and disrespectful. Why would you marry someone like this?
>>31119419I just want her to show me that she cares>>31119471I have feelings too, and I expressed such feelings >>31119488This is built up resentment, she has been hinting that she wants to get married for a while but I mostly ignore it because she refuse to even talk about about children. We have been together over 3 years by now and she has always dreamed with a big wedding and a romantic proposal but deep down I don't think she deserves it, she is asking me too much and giving me too little. All I'm asking is a child, I'm not even bringing up her past.
>>31119353>you are just like my other exesbail, major red flag
>>31119353If you knew she didn't want kids then why did you even date her?
>>31119514This read like you you're getting evidence out of a suspect, not talking to the person you love. Of course she would cry, you basically told her that her love you isn't real unless she gives you a child. If you force her to have kids she doesn't want, it will end badly, for both the kids and you.
>>31119353Kick her out
>>31119471I did, are you going to do a flip now?>>31119551this really.
if you want kids and she doesnt then its not gonna workdidnt even read the rest
>>31119353Stop pressuring her ffs. If you were the one carrying the baby you’d refuse as well. You are a selfish and disgusting person. Did you just came here because other men with no brain will agree with you? Get fucked
You can go fuck yourself.Kids aren't a way to get my wife to stay around, if anything, my kids are the most important thing in my life.
You 2 are not meant for eachother. Just break it off and next time stop being a fucking idiot and spending years of your life with a woman you see as a whoreFind a woman who already wants kids retard. You wasted both of your time
>>31119353>just want to feel I'm special to her.A child isn't the way to do that.However the only reason to get married today is for kids. It's the only possible justification for what is otherwise just a legal trap..
>>31119551You can ask her the same question 1:1
>>31119353You shouldn't have children if you dont actually go crazy thrilled about the idea of raising them with your partner but instead just want to own her ex boyfriends and have some weird insecurities about not being her first? Fucking off yourself you immature weirdo and snip your ballsack off.
>>31119353Why would you even put yourself in that position to begin with? Wanting or not wanting kids is something you discuss early on to determine long term compatability.
>>31119730If you flip this scenario you could argue that since she isn't giving him a kid despite him wanting one, she is forcing him into a life of unhappiness.>>31119353To me it sounds like you should break up. Minus the fact you two have different goals in mind, she sounds disrespectful and mean as hell. Not to mention she has an unlikeable history. She is asking you for everything without giving anything in return. Not to mention marriage is basically only for women. There isn't a single thing a man can benefit from by getting married.I'd break up. Simply because I wouldn't want to be sacrificing myself for someone who clearly doesn't care about me, like you would be if you let yourself get pushed around by this chick.
>>31119353Your reasoning sounds petty and immature but you should definitely end this relationship with the "former" slut and find a woman who wants a family.
>>31119353>wanting to have kids with an “ex” slut Dear god, what the fuck are you doing, OP?
>>31119353why are you in this relationship lmao? if she doesnt want kids and you do its clearly not gonna end well unless you want it to be some short fling
>>31119353>She used to be a slut, at least i want her to give me something that she has never given to another man if she truly wants my commitment. Is that too much to ask? I just want to feel I'm special to her.No it's not too much to ask, unfortunately you are asking for the wrong reasons. If your ONLY reason to ask for a child is to "make her give you something she never has given to another man" and to "feel special", you are being unjust both towards her and towards your potential child which is reduced to an absurd accessory. If this is really the case, her response that "you are just as shallow as everyone else" is entirely true. A pretty sad story. An insecure man and an insecure girl who still can't find the man she's looking for. I wish you both the best.
>>31119353Your reasons for wanting a kid are retarded. Never procreate, you stupid fucking ape.
>>31121237Not only that, more is expected of mothers. It's not like he's asking for permission to buy himself a boat for his fishing trips. He's asking her to sacrifice her entire life, for life.
>>31119353Nothing against you, your head is in the right place, I personally wouldn't even get into a serious relationship unless the lady is showing pictures of her "cute" baby cousins and talking about kids all the time, trying to woo ME into having kids. If she's not doing shit like that, it's red flag city, my mom is the nicest woman on the planet and a great wife to my dad, she is constantly talking about extended family and baby pics, family is the most important and precious part of life and at the forefront of her mind, exactly where it should be for men and women alike, and it's where my head's at, so I want a lady who shares the same values as me innately and doesn't have to be convinced of it.
>>31119353>i want her to give me something that she has never given to another man >I just want to feel I'm special to her.These are terrible, selfish reason for bringing a child into the world.
>>31119353>She doesn't want childrenWhy are you dating each other at all?
>>31124268OP is saying out loud what everyone is thinking in a relationship: "my partner should treat me differently than others", it's not a far leap to give specific examples and I can only assume you're against the idea of children for calling it "terrible, selfish" to want fidelity from a partner *and* children.
>>31124296>I can only assume you're against the idea of children for calling it "terrible, selfish" to want fidelity from a partner *and* children.I'm against wanting children for the sake of his own insecurity in the relationship.
>>31119353>(she doesn't want children)find a better girl who does you pathetic fucking cuck. Be able to leave women or they will find out they can just walk all over you.
>>31124310Strawman fallacy. You confer advice against having children, making a "short" judgment when details are sparse and assuming there are no more details. There's many (good) reasons for having children and it's wrong to assume (or in your case, declare for argument) OP only wants them for some sort of token in a relationship.
>>31124336I'm going by the details OP provided, as that's the information he chose to present. No one could ever give any advice if we required each poster's autobiography.
>>31124356Like I said, you're assuming based on scant details that OP's reasoning is short-sighted, but it's so likely that there are more reasons unstated (because OP is a human being, by nature, something very complex) that either you're passing advice that is weakly justified or silently biased. In either case, you are rushing to the wrong judgment.
>>31119353So you don’t want a child because you want to be a parent, you want a child as…proof that she loves you? Do you understand how fucked up and stupid that is? What would you even tell that kid? >Yeah I didn’t actually want to raise you, I just wanted to make sure your slut mom liked me the best :)She’s precisely right about you: you want a kid as some type of wedding ring. You want to create a human life purely in order to soothe your own ego. Do her a favour and break up.
>>31124389It's the wrong judgment? Possibly. Just as possible as anyone's judgment here is wrong, including yours.I'm not sure why my particular post touched a nerve when pretty much all advice given on this board is based on judgments formed from information the OPs provide.
>>31124389You seem to be missing the point that these are the details HE CHOSE TO SHARE. These are the details he finds important. I could just assumed that he wants to have kids for great, noble, selfless reasons, but fucking why? He saying to both her and us that he wants kids as proof that she likes him the best. She is accusing him of wanting to have kids as proof that she likes him the best. He is choosing to date a woman who doesn’t want kids and to pressure her into having kids she doesn’t want, rather than leaving to find a woman who DOES want kids. Why? Because he doesn’t actually want kids; he wants her to want to have his kid. He’s a narcissist. He can jump in any time and provide further rationale for his behaviour, but yes, based on ALL the available evidence, he is a narcissist and the advice I would give him is to leave his girlfriend and get a shrink.
>>31124413It's twofold, the rushing part (OP only wants kids for the reasons exactly specified and nothing more) and the wrong judgment part (OP shouldn't have kids),combined, that taint your advice. maybe you don't want kids, maybe you think people shouldn't have kids, just say it, don't veil it.while this answer is much more sound >>31124434, because it doesn't focus on the wrong judgment AND it accurately points out that details are shared by convenience and priority, when there could be many other reasons unstated and less-prioritized
>>31121237>>31121277>>31121298If you worked out your issues with your partners instead of breaking up at the first sight of troubles your body count wouldn't be on triple digits.
>>31124402Women expect you to give them an expensive ring, buy them an expensive wedding dress and pay for an even more expensive wedding as a proof of your love to satisfy their vanity just like this woman did. But if you even DARE to ask something back in return then you are the villain. You can't have your cake an eat it too, if she wants a wedding she needs to give something in return. That way if they end up divorcing he won't get out empty handed from that relationship. A child is the most important investment a man can have.
>>31124492op larping so hsrd
>>31124492Aren't you right now making judgements based on that guy's post? You don't have all the information about him to go on.
>>31124595Yes but anons take the bait unironically and need to be bullied>>31124604I'm not relying on assumed information to make an argument, I account for it clearly by stating my suspicions as suspicions and giving my point of view plainly. I don't veil my bias and I don't act like people are one-dimensional.
>>31119353Dump and move on.
The way you framed we was very much like a little insecure bitch, but the point is, if you want kids and she doesnt it is acompletely normal dealbreaker for marriage. Being obsessed with being le specialest man in the world is some teenager stuff
>>31124591Child costs unproportionally more than a wedding ring and a dress.
>>31119353>I understand that a child may not be a guarantee that we will stay together forever but at least will be a proof that I'm the man you loved the most>She used to be a slut, at least i want her to give me something that she has never given to another man if she truly wants my commitment. Is that too much to ask? I just want to feel I'm special to her.Ohhhhh god, jesus christ, OP, this is such pathetic woman logic it makes me sick to my stomach. Blehhhhh, what the fuck, dude? You really intend to have a child just so you can feel special? You know that shit means absolutely nothing, right? I could go inseminate her in her sleep tonight and she'd have my baby, does that make me special to her? Dummy. Dumbass dummy..You know that after she has the kid, you actually.. have to raise a kid, right? Like there's now another human life involved in this equation? It's not just you trying to sooth your insecurities?And she's retarded too, by the way, but not even close to as bad as you
