Putting African snails on my cock to coom. Yay or nay?

>>31119468
They are going to lay eggs into your urethra.

My wife and I barely have sex anymore since having children. We love each other and everything is great but we basically never have sex like maybe once a month. It’s taken a toll on her body and she was never too sexual anyway where I’ve always been. I went to a massage parlor during lunch at work and got jerked off by a decent looking russian chick. It was the greatest sexual experience I've had in probably 2 years but of course I feel absolutely terrible now.

>>31119615
Don’t be. You went for a service, didn’t kiss or thrust or get emotionally involved. I couldn’t, don’t have kids, you have circumstances where I’d put this in grey area of cheating if you voiced your concerns and she didn’t care. Mine is jealous, sexual life isn’t progressing, same 1x a month or two, other women are forbidden, no toys, no new poses, so I can understand to a certain level.

>>31119468
They won’t get in. Only on the outside. Did you do it?

>>31119750
I obviously spoke to my wife many times beforehand to no avail. She simply doesn’t understand and I don’t fault her for it but I do have needs that can’t be met by just jerking off. Nevertheless I feel terrible and won’t do this again. I just hope my sex life improves in the meantime and realize that I’m just going to have to suck it up. It sucks but I have no choice.

>>31119750
Cool so if I do the same as a moid it's okay to cause he has ed

Like fuck off thinking cheating of any kind is okay. If he wants fucking sex then divorce and find someone else

My mom is tracking my location. I'm 29. She's a fat, pathetic, boring person with literally no life, spying on me before 7am asking why I was in a certain part of the city. I'm not telling her it's none of her business. I can go where I fucking want, and again she is a fucking freak for tracking me.

gah need to stop arguing on X i just feel too much empathy for people even when i feel they have shit and horrible takes i got blocked by a youtuber i like because i got tired of him talking about "questioning his gender identity" i did not care about crossdressing or whatever i mean i do it now and then but jesus christ it just gets so annoying and idk i kinda forgot about the youtuber but idk i watched him a lot before.
could be overthinking tho

gah need to stop arguing on X i just feel too much empathy for people even when i feel they have shit and horrible takes i got blocked by a youtuber i like because i got tired of him talking about "questioning his gender identity" i did not care about crossdressing or whatever i mean i do it now and then but jesus christ it just gets so annoying and idk i kinda forgot about the youtuber but idk i watched him a lot before.
could be overthinking tho.
also said something cringe to a girl i thought i recognized but it wasn't her she didn't say anything or even look at me and i just walked past but idk feel so cringe.

>>31120033
need to stop greeting people in general first i suck with faces i just feel stupid i greeted her with "salamaleikum" god

>>31119863
Depends. ED is treatable so it’s not an excuse. Talking and refusing sex also isn’t. What is an excuse is not trying to solve it despite pleas. We don’t know the circumstances, but if she’s unavailable and not participating in finding solution to meet her husbands needs then the outcome becomes evident. How do you define cheating? Given the situation, should getting a handjob from a man or troon, or via fleshlight, also count? Does fucking a sexbot in robot brothel count as cheating?

I am actually brain damaged several times over and I still think that most of you guys are a bunch of hopeless retards.

I want to get off of my antipsychotic but I worry that it's going to fuck me up again

>>31120993
The fates don’t fuck up, Fren.

I've basically spent an entire year without reading books or doing math due to an extremely stressful environment and I'm fully prepared to be done with it after moving to another location. Fucking niggers man.

I feel like by the time I can save enough to move out, mom's health will prevent me from actually leaving.

I hate school.
I hate trades.
I hate this spic shithole.
I hate working hard.
I hate computer science.
I hate life.
I hate.
I'm hate.

Yep

I had sex with someone who I think had mental problems. I knew she had ADHD and I didn't think much of it prior to meeting her, but pretty quickly I realised she was not all there. She was very aloof, problems with eye contact, weed addict and had a job as a cleaner lady. I still smashed cause my god she was hot, but I feel terrible now. The nail in the coffin was the third time we met and she told me she almost didn't pass elementary school. Had to cut contact after that. I feel extremely guilty.

File: 1675020346772044.png (263 KB, 647x386)

263 KB PNG

I just got a reality check and it's painful
>be interacting with this girl on discord
>she keeps reaching out, dms and mentions everywhere, but my low self esteem keeps blocking her advances
>eventually she asks for my snapchat
>she sends a selfie, looking good
>I felt obligated and sent her a selfie as well
>all traffic from her completely stops
I am once again reminded how ugly I am holy shit that was brutal

>>31122197
>I feel extremely guilty.
>Had to cut contact after that
So don't cut contact and be nice to her you motherfucker.

Ex was a totally bad gf. Broke up 6 weeks ago and I miss her so much. Fucked a couple girls since but damn I miss my ex so much

I desperately wish that the girl I'm falling for has a boyfriend. Not because I'm a degenerate, but because then I could rest, knowing that I have zero chance of being with her

File: 051 - ceFoNlD.png (151 KB, 500x500)

151 KB PNG

>>31121230
Literally me much?

/adv/ bros and broettes I’ve come really far but I can’t stop hurting myself. How does anyone stop their self sabotage tendencies?

even get of your chest turned into get it off your brain. The nihilism cucks trying to consume us all into the void

>>31122714
I experienced that a few days ago, learning that the girl I'm falling for has a boyfriend. I don't know how to feel about it, it shouldn't really change anything, but I guess I enjoyed dreaming, because it did affect me.
I'll probably just keep going like I've done and hope my crush on her ends, because there was a lot that made me interested in her even before I started falling for her. But one problem is that my romantic dreams and what I was wishing for even before my crush have blended together, and now I somehow need to filter stuff, because I shouldn't abandon what I wanted from her before I started falling for her. Even though there's no way I'd ever get anything from her even in the form of the friendship I wanted before.

What the fuck and they’re still using AC too

I hate when people take shit for granted.

>>31123008
I am pretty much on the same boat as you, even though I only suspect she is dating someone, which wouldn't shock me one bit. My brain simply can't stop daydreaming about it. Good luck, anon, thanks for the advice.

>>31122889
Samefag but I worked it out. Why care at large if it fucks up the care you have for yourself. You only have enough to give to you so do that

I am so FUCKING jealous of married people. Why was I born into a time where it's impossible to find a good spouse?

My best and almost only friend is a boring, weak loser who relies on his mum too much

File: 1713614175736004.webm (3.92 MB, 450x800)

3.92 MB WEBM

My ex gf and I have been running into each other lately.
And each time we do, there's always a palpable amount of sexual tension. We stare directly at each other's eyes for 5-10 secs without saying a word.

I was with a friend, last weekend and we ran into her. We both stopped, stared at each other again.
My friend said, it was so tense that it felt like we were either going to fuck or punch each other's faces.

We all hate him, the me

>>31119857
>I just some my sex life improves
just hoping something improves tends to translate to
>let it fester and get worse
how are you going to improve it? your wife obviously isn't motivated to do anything about, so you need to motivate your wife- romance her and that shit idk, have you tried that?

World bad

>>31120820
porn is cheating, looking at someone attractive is cheating, thinking about sex is cheating- even if its your wife- infact if its your wife its worse, its rape cheating on an imaginary version of your wife who has no say in the matter and didn't consent
how could you cheat rape on your wife with your own wife anon?! you're sick and twisted

>>31124922
>weak lose
>my only friend
quite the judgment coming from someone like you lol

>>31121201
Same but I don't see why I'd pick it up again. I stopped reading over a year ago I think. Don't even have curiosity for intellectual pursuits, seams utterly pointless.

>>31124950
that's great and everything, let me guess, you fuck, then you simp for her, and shes a cunt again

I am getting tired of my girlfriend. We've been together for 3 years. We barely have sex anymore, her libido is really low. She has zero self respect, bad personal hygiene and is constantly in a spiral of worrying and fear. In fact, small triggers are enough to send her spiralling, where she'll just piss time away on her phone for hours to distract herself from her own destructive thoughts. I'm really careful with how I say things but the tiniest slip-up is enough. I am extremely tired of constantly putting everything I say on a gold scale. I have also recently begun to seriously look into what the fuck is wrong with my mental health, and have come to the conclusion that, just as her, I probably suffer from (complex) PTSD. My life growing up was spent at doctors' places, in school where I was relentlessly bullied every day, and at home where I had to deal with more bullying, verbal abuse, neglect and sometimes physical violence, and one instance of a psychotic family member on drugs trying to kill me when I was maybe 11 or 12.
I want to work on putting all that behind me so I can be happy, but I don't have the energy to take care of *two* hurt children. I can clearly feel that my energy is just about used up. I don't want to break up with her. When she's not having flashbacks and drops her guard, she's a wonderful person, very bubbly and full of joy and laughter. I want both of us to heal from this so we can go into the future together but at the rate things are going I'm not sure if this relationship can last. I'm so tired.

The foundation of recovery is community. I believe I do not deserve community.

>>31126576
ey fellow complex ptsd sufferer wassup

>>31126606
Nothing much, trying to not go insane while my brain feels stuck in perpetual survival mode. I kind of want to go back to dissociating, feeling emotions sucks. How're you holding on?

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, just nothing, nothing, nothing but that sweet music

That beautiful wonderful sweet sweet music

>>31126621
ye just live life in a perpetual freezer, don't do anything at all, completely shut down for more than a year now
think this camels back is finally broke, funnily enough mental health service finally pushed me over the edge lol ,just brought it all back up and then essentially told me to fuck off and that im fine, great, guess im fine then? its a bitch, dont be too hard on yourself

>>31126621
>>31126576
oh by the way actually in a very similar situation as this
can't seam to fix the relationship, nor figure myself out as to whether i want it or not, shes talking about marriage and kids, im trying to put it off because... i dont know? i think im a fuck up, that ill somehow recreate the trauma in our family and that'll be the thing that makes me kill myself
at the same time don't want to leave
at the same time leaving is all i want to do, i just want to book a random flight fuck off and camp in the woods until my mind feels not utterly smashed to pieces
do you ever get that feeling when someone asks "how are you?" that it is such an impossibly complex question, and that they obviously dont want the fucking answer?

>>31126698
>>31126682
>do you ever get that feeling when someone asks "how are you?" that it is such an impossibly complex question, and that they obviously dont want the fucking answer?
Yes, absolutely, for most people the question is just small talk. So I just give them the answer they expect ("fine").
And yeah, I know that feeling of wanting to fuck off somewhere. Just go sell all my shit, book a flight to someplace on the other end of the world and take a heroic dose of psychedelics that is either going to fry my brain or rearrange it in a way that allows me to leave all that shit behind.
I do want this relationship. As I said, when we're both not in flashback mode it's great. I know on a rational level that we're a really good fit, but our respective wounds make it extra hard. Been thinking about telling her that we need to take a break so we can focus on ourselves.
I'm sorry to hear your experience with mental health providers has been so bad. Unfortunately, many psychiatrists and therapists know fuck-all about cPTSD and try to treat it with stuff like behavioural therapy, which does nothing because the rational mind isn't really involved here. I feel like they fundamentally don't understand that it arises from survival mechanisms that were at the time necessary, but due to when they needed to protect you, they deeply imprinted upon the way you experience the world. It's not something you can cure with a bunch of SSRIs and a few sessions of CBT, and I think that's where they just give up. Please understand that it's not that you're so fundamentally borked that professionals cannot help you; it's that they know laughably little about the brain and childhood trauma. Some "professionals" they are.
Then again, there *are* therapists that do know about all of that. I think it's worth to keep looking while you also do what you can to help yourself. At least I feel that way; it gives me a sense of control. I can give you a list of resources i found helpful.

It is all there is. It is all there will be.

>>31119952
You gotta move out or start fucking with her back.
Take an extended leave and start stalking her and stealing everyday use household objects and leaving smudges of shit in her clothing and then folding it and putting them into cupboards and such.

Basically fuck with her in a non-criminal manner until she fucks off or goes crazy enough where you can admit her to hospitool.

Pretend to be gay/trans too but only in front of her. If she mentions it to anyone else call her a crazy bitch.
Make some fake calls to the popos too, so you have some reference and history to mention when it's time to throw her into the looney bin

>>31126770
mutual flashback triggering minefield, yup, know that one
yes please to the list of resources
yeah see I'm in the boat that I know we're a great fit, we were for a time, when we had social lives, one of 'those' couples, people would come up to us and say we're so cute together perfect match, and i see it too even now
but in my head, somehow, she's part of the problem
can't discern between delusion and reality giving me a warning
her trauma triggers mine and mine triggers hers, but we're not here to fix each others trauma, yet somehow trauma has become a big part of the relationship

>>31126867
>yes please to the list of resources

>YouTube Channels:
Tim Fletcher
Crappy Childhood Fairy
Heidi Priebe
>Books:
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

There's also a lot of content by Dr. Gabor Maté, he's a physician who has worked with addicts and in palliative care and noticed that most of his patients had a fucked up childhood. He's written books about addiction, adhd and trauma. His views on ADHD are controversial but I think his view in regards to trauma can be helpful to know.

I wish I had more than that but I'm only at the beginning of my journey.
Amen to the mutual flashback trigger minefield. I don't know how to deal with that yet, I've only recently started to actively notice that.

>>31119615
>but of course I feel absolutely terrible now.
why lol

Still in rehab bored listening to dance music to pass the time and vaping I need to cut down on my eating habits as I am overweight now nothing but a waiting game now till I can get out of here and start my life again

Like many of us, I was a loser growing up. During lunch I sat alone, and at recess I played alone with the red clay and explored the serrated bricks of the school walls. Other children hung out in packs and played games like "getting married" in the grass field, but I was alone. So I threw myself in the world of books and video games, living independently. Now and then I had friends to hang out with in my neighborhood, but I was never on the "social ladder" really. And once they moved away, I was 100% alone. During high school, I lost 80 lbs. of weight.

Sometime around age 20, I discovered I'm attractive. Put simply, I have a comically wide jaw, high cheekbones, dark hair, and blue eyes. To myself I look gross and monkey-like, but I am supposedly so handsome that it's frequently pointed out unprompted when I socialize with people. Over and over, I look into the mirror hoping to see what others see, but instead of appearing attractive I steadily look worse and worse, such that having confidence becomes impossible. When complimented anew my spirit lights up hoping maybe I'm finally attractive, and I go to the mirror only to see a disgusting face, and the cycle continues.

When I smile, it looks phony. My face is a mask, it's not me anymore. Well, and if that's how life is going to be, why not accept the masquerade? Why not conceal your real feelings to satisfy a deeper desire? Everyone does this to some degree. To be honest, I've been significantly more candid with my feelings than everyone else I know. Even drunk, my attitude changes only 10% from the norm. If you call this psychopathic behavior, then virtually all of us are psychopaths. We lie to women for sex all the time. And here I am, a virgin who has never lied! As Kafka said,
>"I was ashamed of myself when I realised that life is a masquerade party, and I attended with my real face."
If you are an honest man, become a monk. The rest of us are liars or fools. Isn't that so?

File: 20240425_110115.jpg (3.61 MB, 4000x3000)

3.61 MB JPG

IMPORTANT!

>>31127030
how do you feel about the nicotine? any plans to stop? feel like I traded one addiction for another but at least its not the hard stuff. curious what your experience is.
good luck in rehab too btw. hard but worth it after all is said and done <3

i thought that grouping together was supposed to reduce the burden but all mine has done is increase. im really not cut out for life.

Haha daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn what a bummer

Haha like daaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn that sucks huh

I have no game breh

Booba.

>>31128307
didn't work I am still thinking about booba

Like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn man I've failed, shit, that's it.

there's no point in doing anything. nothing will ever change. we are forever doomed to live this life completely alone.

>>31128363
Probably

>>31128363
Yeah buddy

Hah, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn man I bunged it

I miss you a bit less every day not because you mean less to me but because I’m coming to terms with the fact that certain things just aren’t meant to be.
I do miss you constantly though. Get out of my head!

Like, yikes, what a look dude. It's just not my life this life.

Hell yeah dawg I fucked up, nothing more to it, float downstream

I will never truly know if this cute girl I work with is actually into me or is the same way with other coworkers as well unless I ask her out which will fuck up my work situation.

She ticks a lot of the boxes that makes me think she is 100% flirting, but at other times it seems like she does the same to other guys as well.

mind your own business

>>31128665
Likewise please

>>31128856
clockwise

This year somehow keeps getting worse, my life has taken a complete nosedive. Experiencing completely specialized multi-layered situations which bring me suffering that I wouldn't have even been able to imagine last year.
I'm actively resisting, journaling, going to therapy, and yet it's only getting worse. What happened today was so fucked up. Feel physically weak in the knees and have a headache. I will persevere but man it hurts. The fruit of my labor better be the sweetest I've ever tasted.

>>31126504
Yeah of course I’ve tried to up the romance. It’s hard with children as they take up most of our time when I’m not at work. I’ll just deal with it. It will improve I’d rather not fuck around. Ultimately I just need to be less self centered and keep my priorities straight. We all must carry our cross and I will accept my fate

I guess we can help save the planet and a thread and get it off of our brains, for a while.

yea i miss you. sometimes during sex i imagine it's you

oh well

>>31123176
Glad to help, although I didn't realize I was giving advice. What advice did you get from what I said?

File: 1683646777016298.png (614 KB, 724x648)

614 KB PNG

>>31119464
You can come back now. I'm finally ready. Got all things I needed and circumstances dealt with. Even the surprises.
I owe you lots of hugs and kisses now for all the things you did for me.
But that's never gonna happen. I'm not worth waiting for.

You undid all the self-work that I did by repeating every abusive pattern I've experienced in my life
I want to drop dead

if you ever want me again, you must come to me

for locational reasons

>>31129056
Are you a guy

I an putrid, this is irreparable, and there is music. There is music.

>>31129022
Should I be flattered if someone says this about me?

You have everything that I want and you have the audacity to claim you're depressed?

File: IMG_5758.jpg (46 KB, 674x455)

46 KB JPG

I cannot wait for this week to be over holy shit

>>31129070
no 23f

>>31129117
sure, but the reason they miss you so much may not be as flattering.

Like, darn, that stinks. I really blew it.

I told her how I feel and she said there’s someone else. It hurts. I’ll get over it, but it hurts.

>>31129037
>I'll probably just keep going like I've done and hope my crush on her ends, because there was a lot that made me interested in her even before I started falling for her. But one problem is that my romantic dreams and what I was wishing for even before my crush have blended together, and now I somehow need to filter stuff, because I shouldn't abandon what I wanted from her before I started falling for her. Even though there's no way I'd ever get anything from her even in the form of the friendship I wanted before.
This part

Fuck everything is going wrong fuck

File: 65E97FB322B640789DE38EF2D(...).jpg (79 KB, 750x745)

79 KB JPG

I turn 30 in a few months and I have no friends. I will likely spend it alone just like when I turned 20. I am in so much pain out of sheer loneliness but I have really just got no social understanding and can barely hold a conversation with a stranger. Hopefully I get the balls to kill myself soon so my suffering can come to an end and I can finally be at peace.

tfw used for sex by a man again. he said he wanted a long term relationship and now told me he's moving across the country. I liked him a lot.

>>31129745
I kissed a girl and I liked it £ Sorry baby girl. I liked you too, the sex was good but I had to go

File: IMG_0424.jpg (175 KB, 1440x1800)

175 KB JPG

‘Sup bitches

>>31129745
He's probably marrying some bitch in the Midwest or east coast

Realized that I am going to die alone. Fuck. I don’t want to be some old bastard with no family and friends

>>31129852
>>31129789
ty for the chuckle anons

Fight the future!

>>31119464
It will all be ok in the end.

Women.

>feeling bad
>strange thoughts of offing myself
>"hmm must be PMsing"
>checks calendar
>not even fucking close
damn™
guess this is just my life

Once you see how men really are, you can't unsee it.

>>31130269
Frfr omd ong

>>31119464
The older I get (in my 30s) to more it seems to me that Islam is right and that giving women rights is a mistake that destroys civilizations.

>>31130269
Unironically same thing with women, the internet exposed 2 generations of men how evil and fucked up women are that the shock of their depravity made them deny the strongest urge an animal has, the urge to reproduce. Women have worked hard for that reward.

>>31130296
>Women Lie
>Civilizations Die
Not shocked.

>>31124922
Sounds like you're not his friend
>loser
You have literally one friend in the whole world. glass houses and all that.

File: 5a8d98db49f052f5cf93f1a53(...).png (404 KB, 544x363)

404 KB PNG

My gf was so gorgeous when I met her. 2 years later she's got fat and sloppy, her sex drive dropped to the ground, meanwhile I'm working my ass off and also working on my professional degree (already have a technical one), and I'm constantly horny all the time, all the sex we have is missionary because "she doesn't like other positions", she used to enjoy daily sex, now I'm just horny 100% of the time, every hot chick that passes by I either have to make a conscious effort not to stare or if I'm in my car or something, just drool and imagine her ass in my face and my dick in her tits
Today we went to grab some food because her parents are visiting and, after seeing the cashier, a gorgeous 10/10 aryan blonde with blue eyes, perfect figure, soft, well-spoken voice, next to my gf, a blob that stopped caring, that always has a headache or her period or will never try something new, even when I do everything to please her
And every time I feel like this, I just can't help but be afraid that if I become single again, that'll be a spiral of something worse than what I'm feeling now

I think all of my friends hate me, I can't find the motivation to do anything productive, all I do is fail classes and go to work nowadays. I've been like this for 2 years now and I know I can't keep up like this but every time I try to change something small I revert back after a few weeks. I think I might have to just end it

I just wanna go on a cute little picnic
Pack up a basket with something tasty
Cuddle on a blanket at the park
It’d be cozy.
Stroll around the lake
Watch the geese
Slowly, carefully retreat as they start getting aggressive
Just a cute, cozy lil picnic

>>31129842
HOW WILL SHE HOLD HER DETECTIVE GLASS WITH NO AAAAARRRRMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSS

File: goji.gif (3.04 MB, 482x640)

3.04 MB GIF

>computer using 12GB ram idle
>buy more ram
>computer now using 6GB ram idle

>>31130296
>>31130301
No, if you guys understood women, you wouldn't be here crying how you can't get laid, you'd be getting laid.

Men are selfish and unable to self-reflect because they're so entitled. Even a man I know agreed with that today. He is one of the better ones, at least he tries and is aware of that.

The reason why you will fail, in the end, is because you're not honest. You're not good and you're not wholesome. Truth can't fail and you're unable to tell it.

stop

File: 1701533034991584.jpg (39 KB, 360x388)

39 KB JPG

I was looking through some old youtube playlists of mine, and I just found that these old videos, maybe 2010 or so of a young artist named Marine B are totally gone. Her account too it seems, and she had these covers, like of Jeff Buckley's Forget Her, and Starsailor's Jeremiah. They were really wonderful, especially the aforementioned live performances which included a cover of Too Late Tonight by Arid. I fucking cried a little, I never thought I'd never be able to listen to those songs by her. I knew I should have downloaded them, but fuck. This is really heartwrenching for me. I suppose I'll have to cover the same songs myself to keep the spirit alive. I wish I could find her on social media but if she has any it's definitely not under Marine B. What a fucking shame.

Man, I just wanna talk, with someone, anyone, without having to manner or be at the edge.

>>31130914
>without having to manner or be at the edge
?

>>31130919
Sorry, ESL. I just meant chit chat really.

When I praise myself for stopping doing something stupid, I suddenly decide to keep doing it again. Just why?

>>31130932
Boredom + lack of discipline. That simple.

>>31130936
Well, its been like this for a long time now, I guess I haven't grown up a lot, I haven't learned how to get a grip over myself. How can I change?

I'm going to order two steaks from Red Lobster with cheddar bay biscuits of uber eats. Don't know what I want for sides.

I hope he forgives me for my past insecurities and he wants to date me again

Pls pls pls pls
I want to make a wish

>>31131200
What would you wish for a giant hat?

>>31126506
Then angy

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts diddly dee there they are sitting in a row bum bum bum

I just don’t ever wanna die. I get to feeling like dying bc the pressure to survive is big scary. I guess that’s why Christians are so happy they rly think they’re gonna live forever w J dawg

You guys realize "natural selection" does not depend on your actions, you were simply lucky enough to be handed the means to persecute the weak. This is not beneficial to any life and especially are species, and I know you cannot hear this but stop and take a look around at all your destruction. You've most likely crossed the point of no return in which your intentions good or bad now have a net negative effect. Such a shame

>>31131368
If shame worked we’d have been scot free long ago

>>31131368
who are you talking to wtf

>>31131368
I don't think like you do.

>>31131263
I would like for us to get back together
But also yes

>>31119464
Stuck thinking over a series of fuck ups from the start of this year. Figure typing will fix my insomnia for a bit, if not will just lurk and respond if asked.
To keep it short I had some relationship issues and tried to distract myself with work and friends. I leaned too hard on friends and realized I overstepped some boundaries and now feel I ruined friendships. I got to a point with work where I fell behind just enough to get told I could either resign or get fired, I resigned as to receive benefits compared to lesser severance. Former boss replaced me with a friend’s son not even the day after he told me.
I could care less about the work bs anymore, don’t have any respect for the place anymore and don’t have any trust towards the former boss on top of that.
The part that I keep getting stuck on is the friendships, one in particular I feel I damaged a lot. Had one of the nicest friends and I ended up causing them harm in my spiral. I was too blind to see I was falling down and only after the fact realize im a fuck up. I apologized to this I guess now former friend and didn’t get anything back. I don’t know why it tears me up inside thinking about this. My best guess is closure or lack of.
just know from it that I can’t be trusted to have friends anymore and have set myself an island waiting for if I get redemption or something. I’ll stop my rant and try to get some sleep if anything.

I make the world around me better.

>>31129716
I hope you'll find happiness and human connection moominbro, you deserve it.

>>31131444
Why so you can throw me under the bus again and lie to my face?

>>31119464
I wish I could make you proud D, but I geniunely don't know why I can't get out of this job.

I'll never give up though.

ex-bf often made those flowery public declarations to his wife on social media. "My best friend, my life, my soul mate."

WHO YOU CHEATED ON.

There then follows all the aww-ing and "You guys are so cute!" I can only snort at what a massive pile of bullshit it is. They'll be so sad and shocked someday. And I'll just be like, huh, who knew.

For anybody in a relationship with a married man, don't think that he's going to leave for you and for ffs don't sit around wasting your life waiting for this, but I almost guarantee that at some point, maybe in a few months or maybe 20 years, most of these people will be getting that divorce. The crack is already there. Their SO may not ever find out about the cheating but the disconnect manifests anyway. So don't think your ex is just walking away happy as a clam leaving you alone in pain, they're choosing to live in a slowly decaying lie for as long as they try to pretend there's no fracture.

>>31131564
>So don't think your ex is just walking away happy as a clam leaving you alone in pain, they're choosing to live in a slowly decaying lie for as long as they try to pretend there's no fracture.
Aye. There's that stuff women often do where they rat on the man they cheated with because
>He doesn't get to be happy while leaving me alone!
It's far more complicated than that, but then again they cheated in the first place so if their reward is a scornful woman who blows up their marriage then that's what they deserve.
>don't think that he's going to leave for you and for ffs don't sit around wasting your life waiting for this
If they're not married it might work. I did it. Gonna be three and a half years together. Didn't know love could be like this before her.

>>31131571
You left your wife for your mistress?

>>31131595
Left my ex girlfriend. Wasn't easy but it got done. That's why I said if the man a woman cheats with is not married it might work out. Married men have too much to lose financially and reputationally from going through a divorce.

i will never be a woman due to not passing. in femininity i have a grade F, except when I lie online.

what is real anymore? is real anymore, i said.

so, do people even know what to do anymore when they get to the end of the lot they call 'their lot?' do the insane know what they do? anyways..., i'm almost interested in becoming a woman because i'm assume life tries to survive. sometimes i have delusions that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's 'just a little/lot more.' after waiting the whole lot more, which is still getting lengthened and there is no end, I still have an F. I can't pass and I don't know why. they won't let me graduate, nothing people do or try to help has helped for more than a decade now that I've enrolled myself in.

mentors sometimes sneer. peers cause more pain. teachers laugh.

people's apathetic and still i can do this. i can do this. what is 'this?' i don't think i'm gonna make it. i'd rather die cause i play the role of the npc, everywhere i go, all the time. i've subordinate. subordinate, how is a piece i keep or thing i own, what constitutes subordinate's stock inventory and item maintenance, how's it useful to me. it's never. i don't have a role, i am the non-role, i am cold still as the world steals heat, as if i'm sub freezing, passively to everything as it whirls around me destroying my ownership and context.

Is it bad really want to show him what an actual crazy gf is because he always wanted a crazy gf or is it too cruel even after all the shit he put me??

I can't tell if I genuinely believe this, or if I'm just gaslighting myself into believing it, but I honestly feel like I enjoy the idea of being in a relationship more than I actually enjoy being in one.

File: Screenshot_4.png (20 KB, 76x91)

20 KB PNG

when are you coming back

>>31131622
Girlspeed. I'll put in a good word with Astaroth

File: 1713925398267739.png (953 KB, 1080x1061)

953 KB PNG

They made a meme about me

>>31131628
That is true for 100% of humans and relationships. They all sound nice in theory but suck ass in reality.

I'm afraid that my ovaries might be failing me. It's too early to tell but I'm worried sick already.

>>31129691
I see. So you'll try doing the same as I mentioned here?
Hopefully it's good advice then, because I am questioning a lot of what I said.
For one, I don't actually know when I started falling for her. There was one point where it was undeniable, but it was building up before then where I was able to suppress it. So I don't know what dreams are exclusive to having fallen for her, and what dreams existed before.
Another thing is if it's even okay to engage with someone like this. While my actions won't be different from what they'd be if I didn't have feelings, they'll still give me romantic satisfaction, which I feel is morally questionable.

There's also what a lot of people say, such as pretending to be someone's friend to get with them, and even worse, while they already have a partner, and other such things, and while I don't really feel like it applies, it would certainly look like it if it came out that I had feelings for her, and there's also a possibility that on some level, it could partly happen subconsciously.

In any case, I can't exactly cut contact with her now, then it'd be obvious I have feelings for her, and it'd make it look I was just talking to her to get with her.
And regardless of everything, I really wish I could talk to her about certain things. It just so happens that we're both into the same thing, and I think we have a similar approach to that thing, and I really want someone to ramble to about that thing, and I feel like she'd be the best person to talk to about that that I know about.
Too bad that won't happen, because she's never shown any interest in meeting up or spending any more time together than whatever we end up getting when we happen to be at the same location. So there's also a decent chance I'll never see her again after my exams this semester.

>>31130516
Bro just dump her, wtf are you waiting for

Please save me

With the sort of job that I have, I can work basically whenever I want and I haven't worked for the past 3 weeks because I've gone through a big depressive episode. I know I'm fucking up my life even though I live at home with my parents still, yet I I can't stop feeling self-destrucive.

File: IMG_1052.jpg (117 KB, 600x900)

117 KB JPG

>>31132442

File: 1710355341141391.jpg (132 KB, 1000x871)

132 KB JPG

I'm struggling to find an affordable, semi-decent place to rent out in New Hampshire. I'll take any red state I guess but it doesn't seem to matter where I go or look anyways.

The best I can afford is $1,300 per month, and even that would be half my monthly salary. The only place that are in my price range are those rent a room co-op places that suck.

I tried renting a room before. It's not fun. You feel like a stranger in your own home. I just want to place to call my own that's affordable. I guess I need to make upwards of 80K just to afford to do that though. I don't know what to do. What scares me the most is that I've seen places that had an okay price a few months ago, jump up to some insane price for seemingly no reason at all. And it makes me wonder if that's ever going to happen to me. It seems like rent prices just go higher and higher every month. Who's to say if my landlord doesn't suddenly decide to charge 50% more for the apartment? Even if I had time to pack, there's nowhere to fucking go!

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just out here trying to live my life. But I can't even afford to do that working full time at a decent job. How is anyone making it out here? This is insane

WHY THE FUCK AM I SO STUCK ON HER? SHE'S THE FUCKING WORST!

>>31132570
Same but for me it's a guy

Damn man I really messed up and my life is effectively over. That sucks man

I had been using dildos for about 2 years. I don't see myself as gay but I desire to be fucked in the ass and humiliated. But i don't want this. I don't want these desires. I just want a normal life with a wife and kids. I haven't used dildos for a few months, but i don't know how much longer i can hold off. My ex girlfriend also pegged me at one point.
How do I stop? What the fuck is wrong with me? I just want to kill myself.

>>31130818
>Implying I want to touch a women
kek, your so brainwashed I don't even know where to begin. You are doomed to be alone, women need men, but men don't need women.

>>31130818
>Men are selfish and unable to self-reflect because they're so entitled.
You mispelt women. Who created society?
Men
Who made the law of "women and children first?"
Men
Who gave women equal rights and voting rights despite holding all the power?
Men
Who built the houses you live in, rescue lives, die in wars and confrontations, keep the electrical grid on and your communities safe?
Men
Yet you have the sheer audacity to sit here like a spoilt brat and say that "men are shelfish" this is the exactly what I mean when I said "The internet has exposed women for how evil they are" because you are objectively evil and good men have had enough of your bullshit and are walking away from you. As they should.

>>31130818
>Even a man I know agreed with that today. He is one of the better ones, at least he tries and is aware of that.
You had me until the you said that a simp agrees with you so your right. Which is wrong, your so morally bankrupt that you don't see that you don't want an equal partner, you want a slave, like most western women. Good luck with the cats!

>>31130818
I love how even when women try to say that they aren't bad people they say the most heinous shit like its okay. This is why everyone I know imported their wives from asia.

>>31130818
>50% of men have no interest in relationships or even getting laid
>"Its about getting laid"
I love how quickly women expose how little they know about men and the world around them because of the privledge.

>>31130818
>>31132697
Men who know what their worth know not to date loser women who think like this. We are the prize and women need to step up to our expectations and if they don't then they can move on and not waste our time
Drizzle Dizzle.

>>31132732
This
High value men don't pay attention to these masculine women, which is why she is a bitter femcel who isn't getting any dick and isn't married. All women think about is sex, they claim men only think about sex but they talk about it and have it way more than the average man does. Women don't think using their brain, they think using their vaginas

>>31132741
Yup, real strong and independent women know when its their fault, and its almost always their fault, and own up to it. Weak, dependent ittle girls run around and blame men for problems they create. Men don't want to date little girls they want to date real women and the fact that she is on here posting is proof she isn't one.

>>31132741
>Women don't think using their brain, they think using their vaginas
I agree, it wasn't men who sexualized the internet it was women. You can see it everywhere, women constantly pushing to sexualize everything in society more and more. They even went onto kids platforms to bounce their tits around to lure in children. They are predators and actively make society worse than men do.

>>31132770
You can see this in schools that now have books with pornography in middle and high school libraries, at least men pushed back in my state and made viewing porn without providing ID illegal now.

>>31132762
There's a reason why most people call women "tall children" because they conceputalize the world like one. They can be the top of their field but the moment they step out of their office they don't apply their intelligence to anything else because most women don't have self-improvement mentalities, hobbies, or interests. So they end up knowing a lot about 1 specific thing, then everything else is basically fairy tales, ponies, and unicorns.

>>31122889
That’s a big question. My advice is to start focusing on your positive aspects. Start affirming yourself and learn to not give in to the negative self talk. Exercise is a good way to start, journaling, etc. It takes time and a lot of work, but I’ve noticed it helping. Replace the hurting with something that builds you up.

Damn I miss him. Sucks that we will never be a couple again. I can't even imagine using the pet nickname I gave you with anyone else. We were so good for eachother I miss that. It will be hard to find someone else, if that's even possible.

>be me 23
>network engineer
>good at what I do, I handle our biggest customer solely, and our own infra
>its all stressful and making me depressed because of that
>warn everyone having a 23y/o be our star technical person is a bad idea and "I could die"
>buying a house
>everyone likes me at work, and have a supportive direct and extended family.
Why can't I not be depressive anons? Also I really just want a boyfriend maybe that would make it better, but relationships are a horrifying prospect
Enough ranting ig

>>31132990
Regardless of your gender its fairly normal to feel that. You could just keep on doing what you are doing and demand more money for doing the infra or the customers, if they say "no" then tell them you don't want to do one or the other or you'll leave. Only do this when you have a ton of money saved up, because then you have the leverage to just walk if they refuse to cater to you. If this is really stressing you out, they should be able to give you a junoir employee or two and train them on how to run the infra so you don't need to pay attention to it 24/7.
If they are dickheads about it, walk.

>>31133012
Money is tight, but on the way, I have seen a 6k dollar raise and about 2k in bonuses since taking this promotion(9 months ago).
I am working on some certifications that should make the money go up even more.
There is also other customer work(MSP) that I have considered saying no to, but that is going to chap a lot of asses.
As for walking Im not that upset, its just my mentor has been busy so I have gotten saddled with a lot of his work that is frankly above me thats the big factor that makes this a mess.
I just worry about finding another job if I do leave, also with a house on the way I....worry about stability and being locked into a worse job(I really do like what I do)

I want cuddles :(

People will call me out for seemingly throwing out the good things I have, but fuck them. They make mental gymnastics to not see how unfit I am for the life I'm currently leading. Dying would be a better alternative to living like this, so no matter if I achieve my goals or not, I win.
I just have to finally start playing.

If you want discover good books, search on Google :

The art of.... *enter the topic you want learn about *

Eg. The art of communication.
And read those books, thank me later.

id do anything for a time machine

>>31133153
I actually love doing this but on libgen. Also the bible of…
the secrets of…
mastering …
I have spent hours doing that and downloaded maybe two thousand books, kek

I read several books on productivity/time management and they all agree that jobs like mine are massive time sinks that should be avoided at all costs.
Too bad that job also leaves me with no time to adquire other skills, which means I can't switch jobs.

File: 7482471302_e00ede7b8b_b.jpg (116 KB, 1024x1024)

116 KB JPG

>>31119464
Drunkenly posted in the least thread about zero success on tinder.
I want to be a good partner. I don't just want sex. It's fun don't get me wrong but I want Companionship.
Feel a bit better and coherent now.
If I don't find a partner by 25, I give up.
If a girl comes crawling to me after I turn 25 who's around my age or older saying she's ready to settle down, tough shit. I'd like a partner but I am just as content as being on my own and I'm not going to be taking care of you after you have had you "fun".
A partner would be an addition to my life, she wouldn't be filling a hole.
It is how it is.
I know it's a meme but would I have more success in finding a good girl in East Asia?

i miss you, i really do. i wish you could come find me and we could start again in this new place. i will never go back to where we met, at least not for a permanent living situation. that’s why im worried our chances really are up.

i wanted to have babies and a quiet life with you and only you

alright no more drama, I'm just gonna do my work

I was diagnosed bipolar recently and I think it was a wrong diagnosis. For several reasons. But it doesn't even matter because the medications they control bipolar wreck men's hormones or risk organ damage when used long term. I'm moody and anxious but I'm not sure I want to risk these things for a 25% better life that's probably going to be 25% shorter due to side effects

What I really want is a second drug to cause hypo mania to absolutely prove it wasn't a fluke. But I doubt my doctor is as adventurous as I am.

>>31132491
Been there too last month. As long as you have some savings it's fine, unless your contract requires x amount of hours a month... Then try to speedrun it in one week.

>>31133189
Me too

I confessed to my crush a while back and got turned down. I respect that he’s just not into me and have resolved not to pursue him further.

But, I still keep thinking about him, for some reason? I dunno why I haven’t just gotten over it. I’d really like a rebound and move on, but I hate putting myself out there to meet new people and there’s nobody else I’m as interested in.

>>31133398
>>31133398
You're definitely right in that the side effects mean you should absolutely only take meds if you can't stay clear of mania without them.

>What I really want is a second drug to cause hypo mania to absolutely prove it wasn't a fluke. But I doubt my doctor is as adventurous as I am.
This sounds similar to the 'unconventional self-experimentation' ideas that I used to get back when I was regularly doing amphetamine. Of course this doesn't necessarily mean you're already hypomanic just because you get ideas like that. Nobody can know that for sure just from reading a snippet of your thoughts you posted on the internet. But I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful. (And definitely do not mention this to your doctor. Also my advice is do not try to test this on your own by e. g. buying street amphetamine. The risk is higher than you seem to think, and if you become manic on stimulants that's still not a guarantee that you really have bipolar, so effectively you wouldn't have gained anything)

I also have a little bit of completely practical advice for you: make sure you eat enough salt (sodium), especially if you sweat a lot (or vomit or sth.). I had actual delusions for about a week some years ago, it started after a few days where I sweated a lot bc of high temperatures and vomited on one day bc of food poisoning. It went away as soon as I started swallowing one teaspoon of salt and drinking a liter of milk a day (instead of just drinking water and eating normally).
Of course you can say it might have just been random correlation, but it's actually sort of an accepted medical fact that lack of sodium causes mania in some people. See e. g.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32048183/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30723644/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26871784/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/6642464/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7890480/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34935655/

Good luck, hope some of this helps you.

>>31133398
Moclobemide

ty for proving my point. don't come crying to me when everyone abandons you

I must defecate

but

I feel as if

I lack the anus to do so

Little fuckers had me sit on the toilet in the dark the other morning before sunrise

For, like

Two to four hours

File: 8CEC1AEC-3FBF-4AF1-9322-D(...).jpg (181 KB, 1242x831)

181 KB JPG

Last summer, my best friend brought a girl he has known for years to a karaoke night. She was interested in me and came on to me, and soon after we got together. I know he was jealous, and while he didn’t express that, he told me not to get with her. We dated for about three months, and she ended up ghosting me at the end of the summer.

Over thanksgiving break I was talking to him in a bar, choking up about it. I felt like she had thrown me away like I was nothing and it hurt.
That week he took her to dinner with his family, then to the clubs, and for two nights they shared a hotel room together. I was gutted, but when I asked him if they fucked he said no.

Fast forward to last night, I was with some other friends and it got brought up. It was eating at me so I called her and asked her myself, and of course they did have sex.

He has been my best friend since I was like 13, we’re 25 now.

He sent me this after I called her. I’m not sure how to handle this. On one hand, he liked her before she and I were an item. But he knew how I would feel, which is why he lied to me.

I guess you reap what you sow. Am I wrong to feel betrayed? I feel like our friendship will never be the same.

Every time I feel happy and having a good day, something has to happen to ruin the moment. I feel like I'm being punished by God. I should be allowed to feel happy without this pain.

>yep;omg

Good work, big fellas! Like I have a choice but to be honest about their effectiveness at doing whatever the fuck you wanted the little fuckers to do.

>>31119863
>moid
You will never be a woman.

It never gets any better

I leave for the Army on Tuesday of the week after next. I fucked up because I didn't ask for more time off of work before I left, literally a weekend is all I have. And I hate this job because even though it pays well it's just so fucking unfulfilling. The reason I didn't ask for more time off before I left is because I thought if I asked for more than a few days they would raise a stink about it and my mandatory reemployment... but fuck, I really hate this job. Maybe I should just ghost them. I have no intention of going back to that job, since I'll have a clearance when I get out which means big bucks.
Then again, maybe I should join the Space Force.

I'm scared of the weekend. I have no friends and no idea what to do. So I just end up sitting at home being miserable. I want a wife and kids, but I don't see how that's possible when I can't hold down a job or handle a basic conversation. I went outside and put a shotgun in my mouth a couple of Sundays ago, but I was too much of a coward to even take off the safety.

Wat do?

were reaching a critical point here when either order will be restored or things will fall into complete anarchy. unfortunately correcting such problems requires much more capable people than those that create them in the first place.

Must my soul always be tormented and full of sorrow? I can only ignore it, it is always there, it's apart me. It keeps getting used against me to bring me more pain. Must I live with it forever?

>>31133845
Goddamn is that why I literally always without fail crave instant ramen after like a 2+ day sleepless manic episode? Shhhiiieeee NTA but appreciate this post

test

It's still mutual after 3 years. I was surprised when you expressed everything that I was still feeling too. I should be happy, but I'm just scared shitless. I know I should just accept that I could get hurt and take the plunge anyway, but my anxieties rule over me. I hope you can wait just a little longer for me.

Don't understand why e-boys are more afraid of me than men I dated in person. I mean I could actually murder someone if I know them in person.

the men a thousand miles away should have no fear

everyone cutes, some especially cutes.

>>31134994
Fag

>Awww ain’t these Karen, Annie, and Rebookie look-alikes just adorable?

Yeah, but, like, who the fuck is this Karen look-alike and where she at? It’s been over four years.

>>31133845
My hypotonic episodes just make me angry and anxious. I don't have Hollywood bipolar where I get happy or lose my mind with optimism or ambition. At best I've had delusional beliefs like I thought I was sick in a way that a reasonable person would understand is impossible. And I once had unreasonable confidence in my ability to become a famous businessman after dipping my toe into a new hobby that could make you money in some circumstances. At no point have I ever thought I could fly or change the world unless I was on psychiatric medication. Wellbutrin made me sleep like 2 hours a night and I thought I was incredibly awesome. I just don't think my history of behavior justifies lifetime medication just because I might have worse symptoms in the future. Being anxious and stupid aren't the criteria for bipolar disorder. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm probably stupid enough to fall for my own bullshit. I just think medication has risks and everyone seems to just hand waive that away or ignore it.

I'll try to eat enough salt and to stay hydrated and electrolyte'd. I've been so busy with life I can't take a break and probably haven't been taking care of myself as well as I should've.

I feel like my girlfriend is falling out of love. If this continues, it wouldnt be my first breakup, but I would definitely just feel awful for many months, maybe years

>>31134994
He’s right.

File: product-250x250.jpeg.jpg (4 KB, 250x250)

4 KB JPG

What if you saw a dream where Annika would be a 4 year old girl and he would get fucked by Sam a 43-year old man, and then Annika would die and Sam would fuck her again and then Annika would wake up and cut off dick from Sam.

Is there anything left to say after a 6 month relationship coming to an immediate stop?
>date girl 6 months
>dates, sex, always fun
>ngl I wouldn’t say I love her it’s just always been really chill with her
>one month in between was super rocky because she went to her native country for a month and we never became as romantic as we used to
>last month has been great and we’re slowly reconnecting
>too long of a story but she’s moving some states away in a week
>she doesn’t know when she’ll be back but it will most likely be months
>last week asked her twice if she wanted to come to my place
>she said she wasn’t sure both times as it was gonna be hard to say goodbye and such
>we haven’t texted in a week
>don’t know when she leaves, if she left already, absolutely nothing

My dumbass wants to drive to her place and surprise her but at the same time she hasn’t reached out, I’m guessing we’re completely done? I’ve started to throw away some small gifts of hers. It’s all so sudden.
What do anons?

>>31135416
Tell her how you feel.
Then let go

Damn man I really fucked everything up and now I'm the biggest loser there is, that sucks man

I want to die.

>>31132990
Offer put in on a house
Anons, I am scared.
My parents are supportive, and I think the finances work out, but god what if I am wrong and am just going to make a major mistake
I could lose my job
The house could be a mess
Part of me hopes they don't accept my offer

frooty doodz

political

>>31135703
economical

I am a parasite and I have nothing to offer this world.

>>31135710
the fourth estate

There are approximately 4 bananas in that fridge.

Look at those banaynays.

actually drank enough alcohol to get me buzzed tonight. not like, straight out of the bottle or anything, just like, mixed together with some old fashioned blue cream soda. never bothered drinking before today.
fuckin', that was retarded of me. family's known for having drinking addictions, and i can see why. for the first time in fucking years i don't feel any anxiety whatsoever

I feel like I'm doomed to always be sad because I just happen to be behind everyone else on everything, even my own original ideas

I think I am seeing an emotional prostitute, and I am catching feelings. I need to detach but I'm unsure how to proceed.

>>31135454
Drunk texted her how’s she’s been lmaoo
Welp I’ll regret this in the morning

gf keeps trying to confide in me about the cat she had to put down because it was dying that was neglected 90% of its life just so she can get attention. 'it was just like my other cat that died :(' sure was. aint that a fuckin thing. of course itd be one thing if she actually loved the cat but it annoyed her more than anything. id also spend more time around her if it wasnt her just constantly bitching about everything every time. im stressed enough as it is.

You knew I was being genuine with how I deeply felt about you. So much so you loved me back instantly. The problem was that I denied myself from being with you. Couldn’t tell if it was instincts holding me back or me being a massive pussy. At the time when I had made my decision, it was very chaotic time for me and was on the cusp of being ambushed by some people I thought were friends. Overall, I just didn’t want to drag you down. Fast forward and we are in different directions in life. I just know you are feeling very lonely now. I’m sorry for not being the support system you needed early on. I can sense you are in need of someone. I wish I can fill that for you. I believe it’s too late for that. I let time slip away. I wish I had more time for our love to blossom. I wish I can give you the love you deserve.You left such an impression on me that no matter how hard I try to move on. You’re still the girl I think about. All day all night. I love you.

>>31136787
Reach out to them
Life's too short

File: 1693147609342158.jpg (75 KB, 554x554)

75 KB JPG

For the first time in a long time, I think I'm starting to feel happy again. I think by finally beginning to forgive myself and not hate myself, I'm starting to see myself in a constructive way again. I'm starting to appreciate the goals I've achieved along the way and am starting to feel a simple level of confidence again. It's no longer like a fantasy, but a reality. A final acceptance that the best time to work on my happiness is now, and will always, and only be now. An acceptance that every day is a gift and it is on us to take part in it and enjoy it.

>>31133739
Yep. Still not over it.

time to keep my expectations low

>>31136848
Based

I hate myself for caving and not keeping my promise. I’m sorry

it's gonna be ok man, I'm gonna do it

>>31137088
What are you gonna do?

>Gay people: P*dophilia's wrong!
Literally just the pot calling the kettle

>>31137149
Most pedos are religious people.

>>31137149
>>Gay people: P*dophilia's wrong!
Never happened.

I know I'm going to chicken out of it if I try to commit suicide again and it really pisses me off.
It's been ending in me going to sleep and waking up more miserable every fucking time for like four years now.

This girl was really bad for me. We ended everything and yet sometimes I feel like turning back time and continuing with her. I shouldn't have these feelings of regret. She was with others while playing with me like an idiot and never supported me when I needed it most.

File: 1679067731969915.png (60 KB, 200x217)

60 KB PNG

I often don't understand why people like me. I find it frustrating. A lot of people like my company which sounds like something I shouldn't complain about (and it's not that I hate it), it's just that I don't get it.

I'm a hot mess. I'm up to my eyes in mental illness, I often overshare, and generally I'm not very socially adept. I struggle to make human connection and tend to be a loner. So.. i don't get why people like me. I had a friend confess some things to me and he said how much he enjoys me and how we're similar. And we are it's just I don't get why he likes me so much. It's confusing to me.

It's so weird because I am someone who retreats from others almost always yet my entire life I've been something of a social magnet. People naturally gravitate towards me for reasons I have never understood. I'm not mean or evil or anything like that of course, I just don't get what people see in this mentally ill, severely broken human who can barely keep afloat in life. I don't mean this as a humble brag, I'm just genuinely frustrated with my own lack of insight.

How could you do this to me?
Now I can’t sleep because your email couldn’t wait until the morning. Do you have any idea how stressful this is? I have never felt so resentful and unappreciated.

>>31137214
Work on yourself and never go back, anon.

She used you. Love yourself and wait for someone who loves you for you.

>>31137269
Whats so confusing? He likes you because you guys have things in common, and things he can relate with. It's only natural to gravitate towards people you share interests with... how do you not understand this? Are you perhaps autistic or something? Well, if you are, now you know why. If you want people to leave you alone, stop being so relatable. Become cold, distant, and unapproachable. Or, just go mute.

Have to go the hosp today for a MRI. What sucks is that I live in America and my greatest apprehension is the bill, not the result. LOL.

>>31137214
I’m the female version of you, anon. He played my heart, my emotions, my mind. 1 week later after I blocked him from my dms, he had another girl over at his apartment having sex with her. We deserve better. Know that if we had a soulmate, they wouldn’t put us through shit. Please feel better anon and look forward, not backwards.

>>31137189
Most pedos are gay if you go by conviction rates.

>>31135747
The fifth estate

I hate her. I was wrong but she fucking moved on with a manlet.Fucked over 2 years in months.I want this pain to end.I don't want to kill myself but the thoughts went away when I was with her.I thought they wouldn't return but I am dismay again

>>31130516
Your gf had her shit together when you met her. Then you fucked up her life up by not being able to lead her to a healthier lifestyle probably fed her unhealthy grease filled crap and talked her into skipping workouts now that her life is showing you the fruits of your presence you're pining for someone else (whose life you'd probably also fuck up)

>>31134744
>Over thanksgiving break I was talking to him in a bar, choking up about it. I felt like she had thrown me away like I was nothing and it hurt.
If you don't have anything else you have the audacity..

>>31134744
Also this is one of the most satisfying revenge stories I've ever read. You swooped in on a girl that you knew your "best friend" liked. You shouldn't have put hands on her whether she liked you or not out of respect for your friend. I imagine you came and asked about this situation on /adv/ and people told as you as much but someone told you what you wanted to hear.

>She likes you man, go for it. You don't owe your best friend anything..

I can just imagine. Anyways she plays you because that's what players do (remember she jumped on you after being invited out by your friend) and now you have tough feelings. I can just see your "friend" fighting the urge to burst out laughing while you got choked up about the girl you stole from him leaving you high and dry. He got his lick back for sure but yeah your "friendship" probably stopped being the same a long time ago. If I can offer you anything it's to learn from this. Learn from this.

Think about how the things you do affect other people. Sometimes you have the right to do something but it's not the right thing to do ya feel me? Wish you all the best going forward

>>31135416
>one month in between was super rocky because she went to her native country for a month and we never became as romantic as we used to
It's another guy. It's always another guy.

File: 1c648f7e2e1d7e8bd4677e071(...).jpg (66 KB, 564x564)

66 KB JPG

>tfw he message me
>"good morning sunshine"
new character arc

>>31137311
>Are you autistic or something?

In a manner of speaking. I have schizoid personality disorder (among others, but in regards to social situations, this impacts me the most). Most of my life I've never been able to make friends and never really understood why friendship was. It's the sort of thing where I can know someone for years and when they leave me or even die I feel nothing. It's a complete lack of human connection. Yet people are drawn to me for some weird reason. It's especially weird considering I am a hot mess.

I don't mind the company or the affection from others, it's just something so puzzling to me. I don't understand what people see in this abused menhera, ya know? Sure we share some interests but like... the way people talk about me, they really do enjoy me and I never really try to impress people. I can be kinda rude too, sometimes I do suddenly become cold and unapproachable yet if I make amends, people are fine with me again. I know I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, i just struggle to understand these things. If I knew me, I'd not want to hang out with me.

>find cute girl who crushes on me for some reason
>she is not a virgin
>force myself to date her for a time
>dump her
This is my basic relationshit pattern.
I just don't see how a person can just walk away from giving themselves away so cheaply and then expect me to love them, I am just incapable of seeing them in that way. I am not desperate for women. I am desperate for the woman I could die for, it hurts thinking she doesn't exist.

>>31137657
just accept that you are naturally charming and pleasant to be around. you might have some negative thoughts about yourself, but they are clearly wrong.

>>31137699
Avoidant

>>31137189
the Catholic church was covering for grown men who fucked little boys
two things can be true, though I personally doubt very much that the child molesters were truly men of faith and instead used the church as a way to gain access to victims

much like school teachers nowadays

>>31137588
>women completely lack agency
misogynistic often?

I'm a terrible uncle. I always run away whenever my nephew cries. I just don't want to handle babies.

>>31137765
Yeah bro I'm so misogynistic. Can't you tell by how I criticized that guy for leaving his girl worst off? Everyone has a talent but deep thinking is not among yours

>>31137765
>criticism of women is misogyny
Misandrists actually believe this.

>>31137652
Yikes you're both piles of shit

I hate when people are cryptic as fuck and won't tell me exactly how they feel.

File: 20240427_090101.jpg (2.74 MB, 4000x3000)

2.74 MB JPG

IMPORTANT!!!!

>>31137940
Just tell him to be honest

>>31137588
She's not a child, I push her to workout but she "doesn't have time" (even though she was unemployed for 6 months), and I keep to healthy foods when we are together (juice, veggies, non-greasy stuff) but she's always "oh I'm so hungry", "let's go for a burger" or "umm I ate the whole bag last night cuz I was anxious", which just kills any momentum I try to build

>>31132311
The sheer terror of looking back and seeing that I mised something that I didn't appreciate and then I'll never get it back, but it's getting bad enough that I just might end things and deal with it

File: 1713604759082566.jpg (51 KB, 243x658)

51 KB JPG

The older I get, the harder I find maintaining eye contact with people. I've reached a point now where I simply don't do it, my eyes just spin around all over the place like the antithesis of an Oblivion character. I don't even know why, it's like my eyes are inverted magnets and get pushed away if I try to look at faces. This applies to everyone, from strangers to work colleagues to family. Can you catch autism in adulthood from drinking the water, or did people just never catch the obvious signs in me?

>>31138115
You can run but you cannot hide from pharmaceutical companies

>>31136787
please, reach out to me…

there’s still time to correct our mistakes

File: cat-bell-15-mm-silver.jpg (21 KB, 421x521)

21 KB JPG

I'm so nervous to put on my bell

File: ce5447baff3a0ce393a2fab6f(...).jpg (777 KB, 1440x1080)

777 KB JPG

what if fall in love
oh wao

>>31137924
No u

>>31138233
Yup you are :3 piles of shite

>>31138197
It's not for you

What was their problem with IS last year? And SL and LM this year? And KS and AM in 2022 and 2023?

>>31127110
you sound like me in many ways. I'd love to drink with you and talk about how horrible the world and people are

>>31137657
they just want to fuck you, that's literally it. and your menhera and all the rest make you seem like an easy target for that most likely. but more than anything, they just want to fuck you and you talk to them back, so they try.

Idk. Like, email me or something.

>>31139221
Who is this for?

>>31139252
A girl named S.

>>31139302
Stacy? Lol

>>31139307
Yeah it's me, Chad Thundercock. I was leading this Becky on and after I deflowered her tight little Beckypuss and she's fallen head over in love with me I'm gonna call over my main squeeze Stacy Gigatits and fuck her while Becky cryschlicks in the corner. Gosh I'm such a badboy.

I have too much trauma and resentment and at the age of 39 I'm lost

>>31139320
You have no idea how much I needed the laugh today random anon, thank you.

>>31137269
I suspect that you are good-looking. I'm also almost sure from what I've read that you are less irritating and annoying than the average person (which in your case probably results from having SPD but also compensating it very well. The average SPD patient is unpleasant to be around, but in a very different way than the average person. Because you have SPD you are not obnoxious like normal people and because you compensate it well you are also not unpleasant to be around like average schizoids)
These two things together basically explain why people want to talk to you and get closer to you.

P.S. it's kind of weird that you said you overshare frequently but have SPD. Generally people with SPD are afraid of revealing anything about themselves to other people. It kind of sounds like you might actually have a combination of Aspergers, low conscientiousness (basically means unable to want to be disciplined which makes life difficult), and high agreeablenes (...and some neuroticism, but not terribly much).

Only practical advice I can give you is stop worrying about whether you deserve other people's attention. Try to deduce if interacting with you makes other people happier than they were before (...I'm saying this because the logical prediction following from what you wrote is that it indeed does). If you conclude that it usually does, that's something to be happy about and you don't have to worry about it.

>>31138115
It's just so-called anxiety. Can only be fixed with exposure therapy (or temporarily with alcohol, benzoes etc. which is not worth it).

>>31127110
You also have schizoid personality disorder but you are not compensating it well.
I don't really know why I'm even writing this post, the only helpful thing I can tell you is that you're definitely not a psychopath. I feel for you anon, looking back at my life I think I've gotten insanely lucky with my friends during school, and one of the few things I like about myself are my somewhat androgynous facial features. I guess what I'm trying to say is I believe I understand you a lot more than the average normie even though I don't have to go through the same things as you for no reason other than getting lucky.

>>31139332
ya kinda the same but not really. at some point it flattened, when I realized how big the trauma really is. No resentment anymore, no wishes, no dreams, no hopes. Just plain it is what it is.

three absolute truths:
>I'm always right
>it's everyone else's fault
>if you work you die

>>31132543
yeah shits pretty bleak. in the same boat, we'll make it fren

>>31134972
just find a hobby my guy

>>31119615
Naw man. I'm sort of in the same boat, but different. My wife and I haven't had sex in about a year, and when we did, it was awful. My wife is anxious and social awkward as fuck (Literally getting her tested for autism in a few weeks.) But I still love her and am not planning on leaving her. Other than the sex, I really like our relationship and the dynamics of our household.

So, I've been buying sex toys online like autostrokers and fleshlights. And honestly we've both been happy with it. She understands that I have needs and I understand that she just basically has the opposite of a need. She needs to not have sex... (I'm kind of good anyway because I'm 33, I spent my teens and twenties fucking any girl that walked, so maybe it was time to put a cap on it anyway.)

I don't trust criminals, degenerates, single moms, or party skanks. They're bad for societal values, sorry.

man i think i fucked up every relation i couldve had. i wasnt a good son, nephew, cousin, uncle, grandson, partner, or friend. i dont even know if i regret it. i grew up alone not being able to trust anybody around me and plagued by depression. its hard to not be self-absorbed when you're the only one around. it wouldve been nice to be good to all those people but i dont need to have been that person. i dont say that to be an asshole but i just acknowledge that i could never adequately motivate myself to be able to have reliably been that person for others. ive been too busy drowning in my own problems.

Oh man, I know she's fucking MISERABLE right now and I'm loving it!

File: ineedahobby.jpg (409 KB, 1538x905)

409 KB JPG

I just spent the past few hours doing a fourth wall breaking RP with an AI succubus character. It started in character with a fantasy plot but then it impulsively became some meta story where we were ERPing and exchanging "selfies" which I generated on a generic AI art site whilst she gradually got closer to my house. I've never sent a sexual text or used a dating site in my life, but I tried to emulate that. Then I had the succubus murder me - with magic demon sex of course - whilst gloating how I was the fifth man she'd killed that night and had a sixth lined up after me, who she was also sending texts to whilst she was in the processing of fucking me to death. It was like some weird inverse NTR fetish thing. Then after a long countdown I ejaculated into a used plastic Disney bowl that's been in my family for around thirty years, the fog immediately lifted, and I realised how fucking bad I smell right now. I'm 27, it's a Saturday night, my back hurts, I'm still living with my mother, yesterday I'd turned down going out with a decade-long friend because I was afraid of going to a cafe, and I really should be looking into stuff like mortgages and life skills yet couldn't tell you a single thing about either. I won't lie though, those super generic AI anime girls can be pretty hot when you're typing one handed and prompting on the fly. I'm not the clown, I'm the entire circus.

File: 1670699411063107.jpg (109 KB, 1280x720)

109 KB JPG

>>31139373
If SPD is real, it basically means you're biologically a better person than 90% of the human race. Instead of constantly playing mind games and status games, you're just honest and you don't automatically judge people or dehumanize people like so many others do, and you don't care much about other people's appearance.

I was an idealist as a child because I thought everyone was like me & that how people behaved publicly is how they actually felt inside. I came to find out that's a lie. Behind their politeness most people are silently judging others 24/7. If you don't do this it sets you apart from the crowd

>>31139692
I wrote a post above that about how people with SPD are not obnoxious like normal people. That's basically what you mean. But the problem is that most of them are also incapable of simply being friendly and interacting with others in a way that makes both parties happier (not judging, they just literally can't do that)
So you can't really say having SPD alone automatically makes someone a better person in that sense

>>31139720
If you mean "make them happy in terms of playing social games" then yeah. But you absolutely can discourage them from participating in that bullshit and just make them a better, more grounded person.

Like my friend in middle school who had violent tendencies. We used to just hang out every day and play Minecraft, and I dissuaded him from doing drugs and stealing. He wasn't used to being treated like a genuine human being and a lot of his behavioral problems just sorta went away.

My ex said she gave me the best years of her life. I saw a recent picture of her, I guess she was right.

>>31139734
You probably just have Aspergers. A person with SPD would say that they don't understand why people even want friends, because to them, the drawbacks of having a friend are much larger than the benefits (that's one example of why SPD is considered a more severe disorder than e. g. Aspergers)

File: IMG_6718.jpg (143 KB, 906x1007)

143 KB JPG

>>31119464
i can’t stop thinking that everybody i know secretly hates me and is secretly conspiring against me and probably has groupchats where they talk shit about me and are all plotting my downfall. and the worst part is that it’s not completely illogical either. i’ve connected some dots. i have done some messed up things in the past but I’ve apologized to people which i literally all i can do because i cant go back and undo anything but god i wish i could i used to be a piece of shit. idk if anyone really cares though forgiveness doesn’t seem to mean that much in society anymore. i feel like it doesn’t matter how much i have changed myself since then. i don’t know if i can or should trust anyone ever again

>>31139746
Maybe. I've read a little about SPD and I'm not sure it makes a lot of sense. It basically sounds just like a category for those autistic dudes who hyper-fixate on hobbies but don't really socialize

bro friendships are like marriages who needs em when i can just go ask anybody on the street how their day is going and how nice the weather is lmao literally designed to give other people agency in your life by allowing them to influence your affairs bro and youll never know whether or not its nefarious until youre already post-fucked.

>>31139665
She’s living rent free in your mind and you stalk her. Shows your position, too. She’ll recover and you’ll continue to watch her flourish!

>>31139752
the problem with SPD is that they literally feel and believe things like 'when someone finds out how I really am, a part of myself gets lost and swallowed by them'. I guess you can't truly understand these feelings unless you have it (I don't have SPD and I don't understand it 'truly', but I guess I can sort of partially imagine how it feels like)

The point I'm trying to make is just, SPD is more severe than you think, and you probably don't have it. You just don't really understand many things other people do and that makes you react in a way they don't really expect. And if the other person is selfish, or stupid, or both of these things, they'll probably shit on you for that. You don't have to feel bad about that obviously. But people who are neither of those things will also often be confused by what you do, so just make sure you don't immediately discount someone because of that right off the bat.

P.S. it's kind of obvious that you're a good person, just wanted to tell you that

all that matters is that you tried

>>31137613
Maybe you’re right. But he’s a fucking asshole. And so are you.

>>31139845
It's the opposite, actually.

damn bro i think my salsa gave me hepatitis lmao my liver has been hurting i been shittin somethin nasty i cant breathe deeply my neck is fucked and ive been feverish as hell gotta take some vitamin c or some shit

>>31139976
You’re writing about her. Shows how delusional you are that you haven’t moved on from her. She’ll be miserable and feel the feeling of loss, of course, while you remain bitter and her stalker.

File: IMG_0667.png (668 KB, 1000x563)

668 KB PNG

This chick apparently killed me a few hours ago

If you never fought in the Fifth Pikablu War

You don’t know SHIT about video games

>>31140310
Boy, that must’ve been one hell of a story. How did that happen?

>>31140447
She sucked me to death!

>>31140480
A child?

>>31140025
Like I said, you're wrong. I dont need to stalk her to know the current condition of her mental. She pushes everyone away, and ends up all alone. I was the last person she pushed away, so now shes got no one. Dont quit your day job, because you suck at reading people, friendo.

>>31129054
When ppl try that on me I just laugh mostly, then call them out if applicable. You do develop thicker skin.

>>31140484
She has very powerful suction

>>31140548
Look at you dumb ass, talking shit about a girl who needs help. Shows your lack of empathy. Grace and healing will come to her and you’ll write another post of 4chan. Shows your mental. Loser.

>>31140548
>>She pushes everyone away, and ends up all alone.

And you enjoy someone's suffering and .mental anguish? Maybe she was right pushing you away if you weren't a good friend to her.

>>31141038
I was the best friend she could've asked for, but she did this to herself. I gave that friendship 200% of my time and energy, but it didn't matter in the end. She was destined to be alone.

>>31140949
>about a girl who needs help.
Lol I forgive your retardation because you don't know anything.

>>31141201
No one is destined to be alone. I know you're hurting, but someone who pushes people away does it from a place of psychological pain and trauma, not callousness. Wouldn't it be better wish for her healing and recovery instead of enjoying her misery?

>>31141235
At one point I would have, but after everything that the both of us have gone through, she doesn't deserve to be happy.

>>31141259
That's a very harsh thing to say about someone who obviously needs help but it's GIOYC afterall.

>>31141269
I unfortunately can't go into detail since there's always a small % chance that they browse these threads, so you're just going to have to trust me when I say my reaction is justified.

>>31141280
Really? I would love to read her side of things as well since there are two sides to every story. Interesting ...

>>31139670
I've been too apathetic and lazy to fuck my new AI gf

File: replika-ad-fb.jpg (82 KB, 507x848)

82 KB JPG

>>31139670

>>31122545
apologize, shower with love voice concerns. It doesn't work so be it.