>>34968871
I have been praying and wishing everyday for something that is impossible to do IRL, now. Multiple times a day.

I'm an agnostic, and I am trying to cash in all my good karma. On what? I promised not to tell.

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I finally have nothing to live for. And it's my fault. I embarrassed myself in an irredeemable way, in front of people responsible for deciding whether I would get into this particular project. And now, although they haven't said so themselves, I know that my chances have been dashed. Not even given a chance to prove my merit.. or, rather, I showed that any such merit is outweighed by my cringiness. I sincerely don't know what else is left for me now. I'm just going to watch tv reruns until I can fall asleep, then.. start giving away my shit, I guess. I have no future.

I'm going to add bread back into my diet for October.

I fiught and fought but i aint tell one wish i had was to be in the well. And i aint so well i been draining my nuts off, we crustacean based macaroni im blazin my cuts sauced.

>start using Bumble
>girl swipes on me almost immediately
>try to chat with her
>she doesn't reply
>chat expires
>no girls left to swipe on
Well, that was a bust.

I am catching feelings for my friend and I don't know what to do

Slightly alt bi girl I know is dating a guy that looks like a more fit panpizza(but still fat)with thinning hair, how do I even begin to cope?

today is my 33rd birthday. i have no friends, no fuck buddies. no bitches, no nothing while living in astoria NYC. i was born to cause evil. i wish my destiny was to make people feel good, but its not. ive come to the acceptance that this is a renegade playthrough

it's over.

I really wish that my mother would just die. She's made a lot of effort to get her emotions under control, which I do geniunely appreciate, but it would be so much simpler if she would just kill herself. She always threatened to do it when I was a kid to manipulate me, but she always pussied out. Anyways, she had a panic attack today because she arranged transportation for me (without me asking or wanting it) for an event I have to attend and then thought that I told her I was going to a different event. She has such an awful, whiny tone when she panics, and I could tell that she thought this was all because of me being incompetent and bad at communication, even though I didn't want her help to begin with.

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>>34969045
ENTER

>>34969068
God wills you to be good and you shall. Forest powers will not keep you young god. Shall nots have no will. Sweet short shorts dont fall. Examine this: fall before you, summon sweet.

>>34969090
Yeah
They are simply amazing and I hope I can contain my autism long enough so it passes until they find someone to be with

I've been trying paid driving lessons for the past two months and I don't know why I'm still so stressed out about it. Like I know what I need to do, but I still fuck up a lot.
It's also hard to not try telling others because they wouldve already gotten the hang of driving at this point. I really hate needing to trust myself for heavy tasks like this.

>>34968871
>>34969116

>>34969124
It's scary for everyone at first. It was scary for me, but I passed my test the first time because I was good at following the rules.

Why did I agree to a one sided plan that was unrealistic, you wanted only that one specific listing so we can then live life? You told me to get a job but it had to be that job at that specific company. You should have had more flexibility in what was the plan, Did you forget about the steps it takes to get to that point or were you blind to how miserable you made being on that path. I know you don't care anymore since you have pivoted to other things, other people, a different life, but I hope you don't make the same mistakes, I surely wont promise such rigidity in the future.

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I was knowingly sharing nudes with a woman that has a boyfriend and didn't think anything of it until she told me she was engaged. Her boyfriend has been giving me advice on getting women and now I feel guilty.

>>34969248
Shes not faithful. Their engagement means nothing. Same if shes married. He isnt enough for her and thats why she spend so much of her focusing on others

>>34969248
Shes not faithful. Their engagement means nothing. Same if shes married. He isnt enough for her and thats why she spend so much of her day focusing on others

>>34969130
who cares dude? did your janny application get rejected?

Remembering how my ex would tell me I was ngmi and how I hadn't made progress, when she hasn't done shit either, she now latches onto another persons dream when I was trying hard to make hers come true. Within the decade we both got a masters education, and eventually a job from it, the only problem was an unnecessary ticking time clock from her and about not having upfront savings for her dream property. I am glad that trap of a property never came to fruition you revealed how little you cared about me in the end.

>>34969211
I know, that's what my mom has been saying too. The only problem is despite knowing that it will get easier, it's like it will never truly reach my mind.
Like the moment I try to assume responsibility, I lack the brain to properly lead and learn.

>>34969279
Im thankful I already own my home, I'm ready to care for my girl

>>34969068
Never too late to love yourself, fucc bitches, and win niggu

i love my older siblings, but they really got to realize people either grow apart or the world doesn't revolve around them. just because i couldn't make it to my niece's first birthday doesn't mean i don't love her. just because your friends from childhood start splitting away because they have their own lives and families they've started doesn't mean no one cares about you anymore.

holding grudges over small things or changes in your life is so ridiculous

>>34969005
Bars

>>34969310
It's not like your niece will ever remember her first birthday, anyways. Just lock in once she's able to speak.

>>34969068
happy birthday, anon

If you have fat tits and you get them off your chest you’ll become a tranny, so women shouldn’t post here I’m thinking.

>>34969357
I don't understand the correlation

>>34969363
If you get your tits off your chest ur having tranny surgery

>>34969324
That's exactly what I was saying. Dude gets really angry that I don't even pull up to his get-togethers. Kinda hard when I'm the only working adult in the household providing for me and my mom. And the days I do come by, it's just obnoxious having to hear him talk about how no one cares about his shit but he almost never comes through for me or anyone else. I have a very good relationship with my nephew (his oldest) and my niece (younger sis' kid). he just wants everyone to drop what they're doing to come see him. gayest shit

Fyi if my moon needed help providing for her siblings, thats a given with me.

it's been two months...

Fat tits HOE

>>34969307
Good for you man, I save up for a home now so someone else can be spoiled.

Turns out I’m probably just bipolar lmao gimme the meds boys

>>34968871
Get it off your bread :d
I still havent learnt how to bake my foccacia properly
Mine never gets that golden finish

>>34969410
You can’t get her fat tits off your mind we see. Sorry she rejected you. Find someone lesser. You’re aiming too high. You’re a loser.

I miss my dad, it's been months and I still can't accept he's no longer here. Last night I dreamt of him and have been feeling like shit the whole day. I still can't go to his room without getting sad.

>>34969590
Your sorrow is normal. You will see him again, however.

>>34969277
I expect quality control
with all the threads mentionable as low-quality posts
It would be reasonable for the sake of both relationship/woman advice and the real/life/existential advice to have two separate boards, one of which being nsfw.
it would be highly beneficial for the sex/relation advice, which overwhelmingly suffocates the non-sexual, as well as freeing the non-sexual from this suffocation
ask the opposite gender anything is not advice its just an answer and question. that's not advice. that's off-topic.
>>34969116

>>34969556
You are so insecure and low self-esteem, and rely on pushing because she's not naturally attracted to you and she is naturally going to stray to who she actually loves, like the sun

I want to become a career politician, but it bothers me that people are going to think that I'm an opportunist. I kind of am desu, but I do sincerely want to make things better for my constituents. At the same time, I need a pension sooner rather than later. I have a spotty work history, and I can't help but feel like there's going to be a period in my life where I end up unemployable. That means running for federal office, even though my heart is at the municipal level.

If I could only just get a nice long hug right now I'd have the energy to clean my room and take out the trash

im bout to call C.P.S
ON DIS BITCH

>>34969556
I never know what you’re talking about, but if you’re going to continue to seethe in this way I’m going to continue to post the same thing.

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>>34968871
is a man truly a man without a gf? how can i level up in isolation without a gf?

>>34969692
Who are you two talking about?

>>34969813
you're mentally ill and the hoe who sleeps around, no wonder she rejected you

>>34969832
Who rejected me?

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I want some online friend i can tell about my day and have them tell me about their day.
I want to send a message with me confidently expecting a reply, i want someone i can refuse when they ask dumb questions without them being offended.
I am tired.

>>34969832
See this is how you make a false narrative to shape her reasons for doing any of her actions. You don't choose. The fact is the only thing you do is try to trap her with your words and push others away so that she is not close enough to feel the love she once had and leave you in the dust

It's going to feel so great when she's with me and I can tell you to *** **** *** ***

>>34968871
>Catholic
>Want sex
>Want kids
>Hate kids
>Don't want them until they're at least 10, preferrably older.
REEEEEEEEE

>>34969849
so you want someone you can feed attention with choice to turn it on and off?

>>34969854
Who are you people talking about? Fat tits hoe could be anyone

>>34969849
My moon and I had that and so much more

My moon
Her Truth
>"I love you, remember that."

>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease"

>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that."

>"I'm only yours, I love only you"

>"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."

>"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more"

>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time."

>"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait."

>"You're the love of my life, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed ."

>"MM"

Seeing the ring flushed and her in my arms living our truth. All of each other, complete, physical,rough,euphoric, true love and lust

>>34969855
time moves faster in your late 20's, so the first five years of hell will fly by like nothing

My moon loves me more

>>34969849
are you a woman?

>>34968871
Being useless as a man in critical situations is genuinely the worst experience a man could have. Never be weak, never be useless.

>>34969922
just fking have your smart phone and whip out Super Intelligence and you'll never be useless and soon you'll then have beeches on your deck

>>34969857
I just want a normal person who's interested in replying within a week so we can actually talk instead of our last text being 3 years ago, i also want to talk without being worried about them being offended or taking it personally

>>34969938
are you hot though?

>>34969904
>>34969956
no, you?

>>34969985
no to being hot or no to being a woman? with my hair on point id give myself a solid 7/10

>>34969938
i think everyone wishes for this. offense and not replying is from breaking the trust, the ground gained if it was initially frequent.

Please do not let yourselves become demoralized ever. In time you will understand that there are real testaments to the beauty and goodness of this world so as long as you do not allow yourselves to fall victim under the hatred and cruelness of it. I don't know if this will even reach anyone and I probably won't come back to this thread, but if you're just as afflicted and broken as I am I want you anons to know that its never too late and now is not the time to give up. The bastards already won but inside of you a soul still remains. Don't let them steal that from you too.

>>34970057
there is no such thing as a soul you copehead - all this religious bullshit is noble lies fed for noble losers no where in the world is this more evident than the US where the ruling neoliberal class masquerades as christians while growing richer and richer while impoverishing everyone else

>>34969994
>no to being hot or no to being a woman?
No to both, i never cared about my appearance so I'd say I'm a 5/10, tho i wish i was fit for health reasons, most i have fitness wise is half decent arms and shoulders but I'm not consistent enough and they're too small to look aesthetic
>with my hair on point id give myself a solid 7/10
That's cool, hopefully you become a 8~9/10 too someday
>>34970035
>i think everyone wishes for this.
Is it that fantastical to want someone to talk to? i couldn’t achieve it irl so i thought it would be easier online
>offense and not replying is from breaking the trust, the ground gained if it was initially frequent.
Fair enough i guess tho i feel like most people I've come across with one exception are offended too easily and think they're entitled to asking you personal questions, it's annoying imo, some of them also ghost you out of nowhere as if they got what they wanted. One guy(i think) I've come across is cool tho, we don't talk often and i don't want to "trauma dump" on him but he's cool, hopefully we reach a point where i can talk in length, though i don't see it desu. I think the solution is finding someone irl but I'm in a very society where you're expected to put up a front infront of others, also some(a minority) of the people I've interacted with recently, are genuinely snakes who deserve to be skinned alive, like some of these people would rape a child if they ever get the chance, traitorous pieces of shit, i think that this is what scares me and holds me back from relationships, you don't want a knife in your back on top of the everyday bullshit you have to deal with

>>34969922
There's a wonderful taoist story about a "useless" tree. Though if you're wishing you were more useful to a certain individual, then maybe they don't appreciate you and they are toxic.

>>34970057
Someway, some how , my moon comes home to me. The moon only has eyes for the sun

>>34970069
the best conversationalists are people who dont need to know you or necessarily have any stake with you but want to talk, for me this was online contacts gained over years who live entirely different lives, different countries, age etc but were the most comforting in the darkest of times for simply able to shoot the shit with. I have a similar problem when things are bad I isolate and don't want to bother others, because of experiences where people will say it isn't a problem, you speak your mind and it throws back in your face, this is because that person had staked ties.

>>34969812
what she do?

covid prolonged the pain, I waited 4 years for you to visit me like I had taken the risk to visit you, but by the time you came the relation was unrecoverable in your eyes, progress made with education and a job was all for naught because getting a job wasn't quick enough for you.

I KINDA WANT TO BUY 100 ACRES OF LAND AND LIVIE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

God just feels like hes in my way of just letting go and giving out as much hurt as the world expects me to endure. I'm lonely, poor, mentally ill - I was born this way, and will probably die this way - an unlovable chud. I've dealt with too much rejection, too much bullying, too much betray and isolation.
When I look in the mirror and see that happy goofy kid who just wanted to be loved like anyone else, I can see the light is almost gone.
I can see the indent of suffering in the way my eyes naturally rest like some animal expecting another unwarranted attack.
Im seeing things all the time. Random figures and sudden sways of light catches my attention at any moment.
Im suffering from destructive thoughts, and my empathy for people is pretty much gone. I know one cares about me, which is why shouldn't care for anyone in return. Love is a lie, based on shallow things. The point of life seems like a hollow existence, I just really don't care about living anymore.
I am convinced I will die alone and it fills me up with extreme rage and misanthropy

>>34970246
I grew up on 81 acres. It was pretty great

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>>34970301
based bro just know that you aren't alone - i mean you are alone but millions of other men feel the same way right now so cheers

>>34970069
7/10 aint shit bro its not enough to get a looksmatch or to secure a stacy and if you don't get vibes which i mostly dont as a SPERG it don't matter

Some of you low self esteem guys really ought to go to Walmart and see the 2/10 literal mutants with girls way above their level. I seriously doubt they’re rich, charismatic, or intelligent either, they just keep trying (probably because they’re retarded) while you guys get hung up on thinking you’re not enough as a 7/10 who’s a little shy.

If she texted me we could get back together but it seems apparent she's over me and doesnt think about me or us anymore

>>34970379
I don't have a walmart.
I got hung up over an equal of mine who drowned the relation in pressures to progress to keep pace on arbitrary deadlines.
The mutant and their loved on likely have their own troubles, but ultimately unshakeable support and patience, that is something you don't need qualities for other than trust, and once you have been betrayed in trust by someone it is hard to justify trying again after losing the game so close to the finish line. It took all my energy and joy of life, I wouldn't want to subject another person to the sad husk that I am.

>>34970393
when was the last time you spoke?

>>34970393
I thought this about 3months after she broke my heart in a 7year relation, she said she wanted to plan a trip, go to japan, and all I couldn't think is how selfish of a suggestion for how much hurt was caused.

I went away to let her sit with her decision, I had to focus on my own new found work ( the cause of the break up), the isolation caused her mental harm so badly she left her job, which I feel bad for not being there for to support but it was her choice to end things. ( the job was important because she wanted me to stay at the same company so we could live together). We only briefly reconnected in Christmas and New Years because she knew I was alone, however it felt empty, she only talked about herself. Since March of this year it was evident she has set sights to someone or something new and enticing, we felt like strangers, my initial intention has been satiated she has detached from me and cannot make new wounds, only it is time for me to heal these existing ones.

>>34970393
Oh really? Every couple minutes youre making a post about me. Do better Chella

You obsess over me

>>34969061
See a psychologist to improve yourself socially.

>>34969482
If you do have bipolar please take the lowest dosage and seek a professional male psychologist and psychiatrist that legitimately care about your well being, bipolar medication can fuck up your brain chemistry

>>34970393
Maybe she's waiting for you?

>>34970422
the more you post this the more confused I am as to why the relationship lasted 7 years to begin with

>>34970456
The other guy is not much better than me socially, he's a bit awkward hence the panpizza comparison appearance aside. I don't particularly envy him or hate him but it does genuinely baffle me, he even has the awkward 'tism mannerisms and all. I was even acquainted with him before we knew her and before she even knew him. Maybe I'm being vain.
>See a psychologist to improve yourself
Yeah I should probably do that too after putting it off for so long. It's not that I don't try but self therapy is hell and full of trial and error.

>>34970476
Its pretty easy to spend 7 years with someone
>first meet in 2017 - 2018 as both neet failures, she has no job with useless degree, I dropped out of bachelors
>get shiny first proper job in 2018 and asked for relation, rocky start but intense first love, decide to support no matter what with rule of "if you don't let go I wont".
>2019 first taste of heartbreak over insecurities, patch up and resolve stronger
>encouraged to do a degree because I wont get accepted without education
>visit her family in christmas 2019, the father isn't to know we are together, a common theme here the relation is secret
>covid hits, lockdowns, lose job, so separate but closer through any means, MMOs the like, juggle relation needs while doing edu, and helping her find her path, lots of bad jobs in different sectors, investigating teaching, library jobs, charity work
>just be there as I can to the best I can while insecurity eats at her due to prospective and uncertainty of the future
>she "cheats" by window shopping on soc
>2nd heart break happens, forgive because she explains it wasn't serious and only looking for older men to talk to for perspective, like a fool I relent because of my promise to not let go
>last stretch of bachelor, she goes masters in compsci , I help her with homework and support because she was practically alone doing it
> both graduate master, bachelor
>2022 , no job, pressures turned up to get one in the field chosen, do all short courses can with potential leads, meanwhile she is struggling to even get past an interview at computer repair shop
>get 1 job interview in total, suggest her to do IT within my field, she actually gets insta-hired at big name company
>2023 Goal shifts to getting me into that company one day to work together in life, her patience is gone, no longer wants to know about what I am doing work wise just only wants results, can't share something I care about with the person I love, look for mentors etc, ultimatum over my head

>>34970393
Text her and get your answer. If you already did and got nothing in return, that’s also an answer. Don’t ever expect a woman to text you out of the blue even if she does like you.

>>34970080
Any advice on how to get online friends like yours?
>>34970336
Half the terms you used are weird desu but you probably look fine senpai, just do your workouts. as for vibes and autism idk, I'm suffering from the same problems desu

>>34970476
>>34970514
>End 2023 depressed feel very isolated, go to a conference for tech and general field trying to break in, people genuinely excited and happy about this interest, meet a young talented guy who says hes doing a course, one that I had previously talked to her as an option but she said not to do it because masters are scams for my field, I have no other choice left
>2024 do this intensive course
>less time to support her with daily calls to hear about complaints of work, while I am putting 100% of my effort into this to prove i am ngmi
> Pretty much just doing the work fulltime, re-assure i am doing a project that will finally get me employment
> half way through the year insecurities show its head from her, I had to show what I have been working on, the first time in years, says it is good
> Dec 2024 we are to have a holiday together, my deadline is overlapping with it, people ive been pouring our heart into this project that is to net us employment want to be with me too, I am tired, she is tired from the overworking she was doing at the company that I told her to take it easy on, and didn't listen. The time spent together was okay but certain things made me second guess why she was behaving as she was, not how i remembered, inconsiderate of others, didn't walk with me, rude to staff or conniving with vendors I still we were okay just a busy year worn us down.
>She returns home, tells her mother that we didn't meet up during the holiday
> I applied to the same company as her just before new years, The role goes to my colleague instead
>Inform her to much disappointment
>2025 jan, plan out what I will be doing for next month while waiting for job offers/applications
>2025 feb midweek, I ask if we could hang out, she says no and I ask why, she wants to end the relation, main reason no progress , money a driving factor in all of this.
>2025 march confirmation of a contract at a local company, from being scouted from that course, been there since

>>34970489
Have you tried forest bathing, it supposedly helps improve your mental well being.

My girlfriend and I had a minor tiff. When we made up, I tried to say:

"Every couple has their squabbles"

But my brain mixed up the word 'squabbles' with 'quarrels' and what came out of my mouth was:

"Every couple has their squirrels"

Man sometimes I wonder if I'm just naturally prone to sounding stupid.

>>34968871
I wonder how Jewish my family line actually is, I'm neurotic to a schizoid degree
I can feel feelings in the air, I can smell sickness on people (physical actual illness) I can sense other people's mental state and it radiates off them.
More importantly it effects me a lot, the morale at work was at an all time low and it radiates, you feel it all. I love my work but I feel like a dead weight I feel worthless

>>34970489
True and I hated him and thought he was a shit person. I have a feeling he lied to you and said we were friends, I was never friends with him.

>>34970519
Too bad. Its on chella to add me as she should have years ago

>>34969100
Fuck God. Fuck that spiteful, malevolent cunt.

Kill the autists.

Did one more driving lesson. I feel like the instructor's yelling at me less for what I've been doing so I guess thats good enough to start the test.
Plus I felt like I broke down enough of what I needed to be confident driving.
I guess the downside is the usual problems of being too fast at times for no given reason. That and my stupid retard brain has trouble adjusting to areas.

my mind is being reduced to nothing because I am nothing, and its a painful existence. The only thing that inhibits me is stress, and anxiety, and boredom.

My coworker has ADHD, it drives me nuts when I ask a simple question and he goes on 10 different topics that have nothing to do with what I asked. I've tried talking to him about it, he just gets offended and says maybe there's info I need to know.

BRO, I asked "What time do you work tomorrow?" and you walked me through your ENTIRE morning routine, why you cook your eggs a certain way, issues your car is having, your mechanic's marriage problems, where you went to college, why you like Ozzy over Metallica, the sushi place next to where your kids go for their karate class, random Star Trek trivia, how the Roman Empire could have lasted another century... and you STILL didn't answer the damn question.

>>34970832
Are you doing any night driving lessons yet?

i hate women so god damn much. i want to beat them, but thats illegal now.

Awful workout today. I think I was even weaker this week then last week

Ok im headed off. You had the day to say something.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

Uhhhh why did some retard reply to my post talking about some namefag

>>34970548
Going out into nature? Yeah I enjoy going to parks or gardening, closest state park is about an hour and half away though so I can't always go hiking. Just being out in the backyard feels good.

It's not entirely clear why I'm a virgin. I'm reasonably good looking and reasonably charismatic, but it never ended up happening. I suppose I did looksmax and get out of my shell a bit more in the past few years, but idk. The crazy thing is that I've even had girls that did want to have sex with me, but it just never happened.

>>34972433
you may just be a little autistic...

>>34972441
Diagnosed, lol.

BRO stop yapping outside my window, begging me to listen to you. Either buck up and shout me down or catch me outside. I can't even hear you clearly with all the construction anyway. You're wasting your time trying to communicate like this, and so am I.

>>34972446
KEK

I wish I said something and maybe I'd have got myself together with someone. Instead I hesitated and someone else did it instead. It's not fair... I'll never get anyone. KHHV forever....

yeah bro like there's only one person out there who would ever fuck you or get with you ok man LMAO loSiR!

>>34972462
You're a sad person

>>34972480
???

>>34972461
You'll be okay anon.

I'm just refuting anons claim that he'll be a KHHV forever because 'someone else did it instead' like bro.....

>>34972486
Theres a difference between love and sex. In my case, obviously ill have sex.

I wont love.

>>34972527
so you believe you can only love one person ever? why can't you love?

>>34972529
I only have one soulmate. I knew I from the moment we met. It just is this way.

>>34972537
and yet your soulmate married someone else? maybe it wasn't mutual... how do you know they were your 'soulmate'?

>>34972539
She is my soulmate. I'm not going to explain myself to you. There are ways I know

I can't handle even the most mundane of conflicts. My brain's built an extremely efficient bullet train directly to 'catastrophe' that arrives at its destination before I've even noticed its departure.
If I mention we're out of milk and you say "No we're not," I'll go into full hands-shaking fight-or-flight in anticipation of retaliation, and spiral into self-doubt wondering how I could be so wrong and stupid. Even if I'm literally staring into the milkless fridge, even if I'm the one who literally just finished the milk, even if I know you're lovely and will just be like "Oh, silly me" upon correction.
So that's another fun layer of my dysfunction to have accidentally peeled back. Now I get to spend the rest of the day ruminating about how much this has thrown my life off course in the years it's gone unnoticed, internalised, and avoided.

>>34972543
well either you wallow in misery alone and wait for her to divorce her husband or you try and move on. I don't mean to just fill the void with whoever, but you must be open to the possibility of something else. Even if you ignore romance for a while. I can't say I understand love, but I had unrequited feelings that I never acted on either. I don't believe in soulmates, but god was she my oneitis for way too long. Lingering on it doesn't help unless it is to gain insight on how to move forward

>>34972552
I'm not even bothering to read what you said.

She is my soulmate. That's the truth and nothing will ever change that. I hope God does bring us home to each other some way somehow.

I've passed up everyone for 5 years for her. Stayed true to her for 5 years and get my promises to her for 5 years. She is my soulmate. That's not going to change

>>34972552
like, you have to move on. You will literally go psychotic if you don't. Ruminating on how much of a loser I am and how I never got her in time has wasted so many days of my life I could have spent actually doing something, maybe with her, maybe not. There is a thin line between obsessive rumination and mild psychosis, and I'm not even exaggerating here.

>>34972560
you are insane and I'm glad she found someone else. You sound like an obsessive stalker who would kill her husband to "save her" if you had a chance. Did you ever even date?

>>34972569
F*** off with your manipulative twisting of narrative. You are a horrid piece of s*** and you are one of the reasons that we lost each other.

>>34972573
???? I don't know you. You said yourself it was YOUR fault for not getting your shit together and it was YOUR fault for hesitating.

>>34972565
You don't understand what a soulmate is. She is my soulmate. Unfortunately there are evil people like that piece of s*** here who harms her and I, who lied and manipulated her so we lost each other.

>>34972576
Oh so she's some random anon on 4chan who you've never even spoken to in person and probably stalked. Lol

>>34972574
Never once have I said that it was my fault for hesitating or not getting my s*** together. I never once said that. My s*** has been together for a long time now. I've been fighting for her this entire f****** time

>>34972580
>I wish I said something and maybe I'd have got myself together with someone. Instead I hesitated and someone else did it instead. It's not fair... I'll never get anyone. KHHV forever....
???

>>34972569
>>34972584
kek is it even the same anon and not the thread schizo shitting it up

>>34972569
Again f*** off with your lies.

She is my soulmate and she did love me

>"I love you, remember that."

>"I love you too. That makes me feel at ease"

>"You're the only thing that matters now, it's been like that for so long. Nothing will ever change that."

>"I'm only yours, I love only you"

>"I'll always love you and care about you, no matter what. You mean so much. You complete me, I complete you."

>"You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me, I'm crying because I need you, this argument is temporary, but I'll always have that empty part needing you. I'm your home too. You are perfect. I love you more"

>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time."

>"Everything is perfect with you, dream good dreams, I can't wait."

>"You're the love of my life, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed ."

>"MM"

>>34972579
You are just trolling and being a piece of s***

. She is my soulmate and all I can do is pray that God brings us home to each other again and removes the evil people here who took us away from each other like you

Like you are in way deeper than I ever was and I started to think (multiple times over the course of multiple years) that she was somehow trying to communicate with me, either messages of hatred or messages of love. Luckily there is geographic as well as social distance between us so I never was able to do anything too stupid.
>>34972587
So your soulmate married someone else? Sounds like she wasn't your soulmate!
>>34972590
how tf did anyone take her away from you?

The only kind of people that I like are adulterers. Ironically, they're more authentic and nicer than everybody else.

I would get married specifically so that I could cheat on my wife with a serial homewrecker, my real ideal woman.

>>34972584
That wasn't me who said that. The pos who harmed us has been larping as me making threads and writing posts like that

>>34972593
Not even reading what you wrote Because You're Just being a twat and making up false narrative. She is my soulmate

>>34972594
Yikes, that's fucked up. Maybe you're hypothetical wife will take all your money and or you'll end up on the news.

>>34972595
oooooohhhh sorry. This sounds like a really strange situation, or you are fucking insane. Remember that anons like to try to fuck with people. I had some rando try to goad me into being a cuck for a woman who is already married and pregnant

>>34972600
I will sooner end up on the news before I let any greedy, selfish, love-hoarding cunt try and plunder my money through a divorce.

>>34972602
I'm not insane but that is something that the person who has harmed her and me has tried to convince her of because of their own selfish interests and manipulations of her

What you say really doesn't matter. She is my soulmate I know that for a fact. She did love me and we were taken from each other and not due to either of our fault but from a piece of s*** here who harmed us. All I can do is pray for God to help us and remove that person from our lives

>>34972599
You are going to end up on the news or in a psych ward. Hopefully she stays far away from you. Did you ever even date her? Did you ever even meet her?
.

>>34972602
Yeah I can recognize when you narc LARP. God help her and i come home to each other and remove this piece of s*** from our lives

>>34972608
Do you even know what I mean by ending up on the news. Nvm. Probably the cheater women you end up with will be a gold digger.

>>34972613
No that's just your fault narrative attempting to harm us. She can clearly see that. And I trust her over you

>>34972616
you don't have to censor shit bro......... Again, I don't fucking know you. You just keep on repeating yourself. I can see why she left you if you're like this.
>>34972618
So you should trust her choice to be with someone who ISNT YOU LMAO

maybe she was just a bpd cunt who was trying to manipulate you. maybe you dodged a bullet?

>>34972620
Yep even more of you just pulling s*** out your ass with false narrative. It's fine they're s***** people out there like you. All I can do is pray for God to make things right with her and I and take people like you out of the equation, to show her what kind of person you are by attempting to manipulate and decieve her with cruel lies

>>34972617
Sure, you probably meant something but what you're forgetting is that I'm better and smarter than you and I have an actual personality that I didn't synthesize from watching influencers on Tik Tok all day.

Anyway, if an opportunity comes for me on my wedding day when I can cheat: I'll take it. And if anybody wants to get violent with me: they'll wind up dead as a stone on the fucking floor.

>>34972622
Yep that's the other thing that he's been trying to make me do is distrust her and think badly of her. That's what he did to her to deceive her of me. Worked well enough for him doing that. Thing is though I know who she is to me. I'm not easily decieved by manipulative lying pieces of s*** here

>>34972626
I'm sure she'd care so much about some random guy she's never met. You sound retarded bro. What is there to say? You never actually got with her and instead whine and complain how some 'narc' 'stole' her from you instead of actually trying to win her back. Do you think she actually reads your posts? Or do you think she's too busy getting bred by her husband? I'm sorry that I have to be so hostile, but you are seriously, seriously, seriously mentally ill, or at least it sounds like it. Unless she is trapped in an abusive situation or was forced somehow it seems like YOU are the narcissist for refusing to accept her free choice to choose someone ELSE, instead believing that she must have been tricked.

>>34972628
Yeah you're a garbage person

>>34972629
YOU ARE A NARCISSIST AND I HOPE YOU ISOLATE YOURSELF FROM SOCIETY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. NO ONE WILL EVER FUCKING LOVE YOU.

SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU. SHE LOVES HIM. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

>>34972631
No point in even reading your narcissistic mini-filled out lies. She did truly love me and she meant every word she told me when we were together. After we were separated she contacted me and told me how it wasn't anything I did that caused our separation and in the time it took that she was sending me a package Colton came in and started manipulating and lying to her about me

But here's the thing is you're just going to keep being manipulative and lying about me and creating these false narrative and painting unhealthy pictures because of your own agenda. All I can do is be honest and know that she is my soulmate that he saves us from people like you and brings us home to each other

>>34972633
Oh look all caps. She is my soulmate, your opinion doesn't change that. Your manipulations don't change that, your lies to her don't change that

>>34972636
oh lol you're the colton schzio. I'm done here.

>>34972628
I don't use tiktok. You're disgusting

>>34972640
Good I hope you are, tired of your f****** lies and manipulations in an attempt to harm her and I even further

>>34972639
Soulmates don't mean shit if you don't put in the work. sounds like you failed bucko

I just want my crush to like me back. I keep talking to him but I'm awkward and freeze up sometimes. I try to save it, but I can't say the things I really care about.

I go back and forth between believing he must like me back and thinking there's no way at all. How do you really tell if a crush is mutual (if you know someone through work but don't work directly with them especially)?

>>34972631
Oh btw (shes not married yet)

So there's still a chance she sees you making posts like this and sees what a piece of s*** you are and what you try to do to harm us not only works in her and my favor of coming home to each other. The best I can do is pray to God.

>>34972643
I put in 5 years of work, more work than you could even imagine. I don't have to prove myself to you. I have so much I've done for her in ways I put myself out there and stayed true to her. In the end I hope that God gives us that opportunity for her to see what I've done for her over all this time. Because I truly do love her, I always have. She's my soulmate. She's my moon

>>34972650
sorry, again, I DONT KNOW YOU. your inital podt makes it sound final, like she is already married.

>>34972656
ugh youre the sun moon schizo too.

Did you meet her here? Why do you thinm she'll see your posts?

Again: Psychosis. No one you know posts on here. Still, don't be a retard and dox yourself. I have convinced myself multiple times 'my girl' (UGH) was on here, or my mom, or my dad, or my boss, or my... you get it. Log off bitch.

>>34972657
Marriage doesn't have to be the end of things. The most fulfilling relationships are affairs.

>>34972657
Yeah you've made a s*** ton of narcissistic false narratives that assume the worst and painted me and her in a bad light. She's the only I will ever love.

At this point I don't believe you at all that you're not who has been harming us. Too many times have you said that and then rear your ugly head and further narced out at us.

How about you just keep making more posts about how you're going to cheat on this person who you supposedly are going to marry at the first opportunity you have to cheat on them on the wedding day.

>>34972660
She sees my posts. I have my way of knowing. Now bugger off and gloat about affairs and cheating like you have been.

>>34972667
I don't cheat and that anon isn't me. I'm not engaged and I don't see myself getting engaged any time soon. I would never cheat, but I'm also fairly disinterested in romance atp.
>>34972670
Like stalking her? Stalker.

>>34972662
Again, false narrative. Manipulative narcissistic lies that have nothing to do with me or her but you feel shape your argument for whatever you are selfish intent us.

I have never had psychosis or any of the sort. But the really isn't any point in talking to you because you're just going to keep saying more lies

>>34972678
,maybe I'm the only psychotic bitch here. I'm just warning you. I almost got hit with a restraining order because anons on here were goading me on to break no contact with someone.

>>34972677
See more of your narcissistic manipulative lies. The best I can do is trust her over pieces of s*** like you

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Just lost access to an account on which I said some real personal shit, so now that's gonna just float around in the ether for all eternity. Save your passwords, people.

>>34972680
That has nothing to do with me. I've never had restraining order or any of that s*** and if you've had a restraining order on you then that means that you are the stalker and you are just projecting your own issues on me

>>34972682
Just get it back.

>>34972686
I've never had a restraining order, I'm just saying that if I HAD followed the advice of random crazies on here when I was losing my mind I would have been hit with one or worse.

But whatever your issue is, that's your issue. I don't want any part of it and I don't need to even comment on it.


Best to keep praying that god makes the Crooked path straight and resolve and remove all that has taken us away from each. I pray for God to show her who I am just as he gave us that time with each other before so she can decide for herself and not just be misled and fooled by others manipulations and lies, just as we've been taken from each other. He knows my heart and the best I can do is put trust in him in the ways that he has told me

Ok sure do that then instead of whining on a Hungarian soup making forum. Maybe she left you because you're annoying?

>>34972701
No, you opinion has nothing to do with her or I. I really dont care in the slightest how you feel about me, the only person who matters to me here is her.

Dumbass women fumbled me all year long

I want to fuck so bad. I hooked up with a girl in April and her super hot friend keeps popping up as a suggested follow, but I’m trying to look for a serious relationship. I can’t fuck without feels so I’m stuck. Guess I have to stick to e-sex, but I’d fuck anything that moves. I saw a woman who looked late 40s at the grocery store and she was kinda fat but had a big ass and we kept going down the same aisles, didn’t say anything. No ring either. Kept fantasizing about how I’d make her feel young and hot again lol fuck meeeee. I’m gonna try channeling this energy into exercise and see if that helps. I’ve also been jacking it to old nudes of random girls I’ve gotten

>>34972206
Nope. Latest I did a lesson was up until like 4 or 5ish.

Fat tits hoe

>>34972868
Bv?

>>34972879
He means swissanon

BIG BOOBY BITCHES

>>34972887
Ohhh wait but she has a bf?

>>34972897
Idk but I’ve seen this bird call before

>>34972887
No I don’t mean it towards anyone in particular. I just noticed that anon types large angry paragraphs at me every time I post this, so I’m trying to bait him.

>>34972942
Shut up hoe

>>34972948
It’s true though, he’s been doing it for the last 3 days. You can read through the log

>>34972895
FOREVER

>>34972801
Does fucking a stranger from the grocery store somehow prevent you from finding a relationship?

>>34972962
I just catch feelings from sex really easily, with not good people, so yes

An harlot of considerable mammary prominence

>>34972952
You mean you samefagging

>>34972942
Oh, isn't he the bikini anon too

>>34973027
Even if true, that wouldn’t even be in the top 100 most schizophrenic things to happen in gioyc
>>34973031
Not sure

I'm really going through it tonight, but I think tomorrow will be better

When I die in videogames I get a reminder of all negative feelings in my life flooding over me. A reminder I am bad and don't matter.

>>34973065
I feel this one lowk

Re-reading DMs to my friend and how often I was in a hurt state from someone else that was meant to be the one. It has given me clarity that 7 years was a struggle at every step of the way, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023 , 2025...

>>34973153
Was it worth it?

>>34973180
Its always worth it, time goes on regardless, but my past self already saw what was going to happen, you can give patience and your all to someone only for them to not choose you in the end. It saddens me that the even if you fulfill wishes the result may not be desired. I continue to be no one.

I worry too much. But giving worry its place to be helps it to burn down when I need it to.

She cant hurt me anymore but i am alone

I'm really not doing well tonight

>>34973288
iam really not doing well this month

This is how I know we are each others soul mateMaria. Its specific to use.

You took my sadness out of context
At the Mariners Apartment Complex
I ain't no candle in the wind
I'm the board, the lightning, the thunder
Kind of girl who's gonna make you wonder
Who you are and who you've been

And who I've been is with you on these beaches
Your Venice bitch, your die-hard, your weakness
Maybe I could save you from your sins
So kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus
My, my, my, you found this, you need this
Take a deep breath, baby, let me in

You lose your way, just take my hand
You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again
Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am
I'm your man

They mistook my kindness for weakness
I fucked up, I know that, but Jesus
Can't a girl just do the best she can?
Catch a wave and take in the sweetness
Think about it, the darkness, the deepness
All the things that make me who I am

And who I am is a big-time believer
That people can change, but you don't have to leave her
When everyone's talking, you can make a stand
'Cause even in the dark, I feel your resistance
You can see my heart burning in the distance
Baby, baby, baby, I'm your man (Yeah)

You lose your way, just take my hand
You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again
Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am
I'm your man

Catch a wave and take in the sweetness
Take in the sweetness
You want this, you need this
Are you ready for it?

That felt good.

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Another birthday is coming up, another year of failures, broken promises, dissapointments and no progress.
I'm tired all the time, nothing I've tried has helped so far, everyone keeps telling me it's 'depression tiredness' whatever the fuck that means, but no one is telling me how to get rid of that, i've tried different SSRI but they have done fuckall.
I got my T levels checked at the beginning of the year and it was literally on 70 year old man levels (220 ng/dl). I've gone to endocrinologist and he prescribed some pills for a month that spiked my T to 1000 ng/dl and I finally started getting (back? I can't remember if i've ever had them in the first place) morning woods. But besides that I didn't feel that much different. The doc refused to prescribe any more and I don't have enough money to continue treatment or lack there of, so I stopped. The morning boners are gone again, still tired.
I've been raised by overprotective single mother after my father killed himself when I was 5. I barely finished my country equivalent of high school after mental breakdown. Since then I attempted college 3 times, every time I quit after a few months not because of the grades, but because I am a coward that got scared of some random minuscule bullshit every time and ran away. Currently I am a NEET living off savings that almost dried up.
Everything I try to do to self improve and feel better only brings me more suffering. I started exercising a few years ago, bought some dumbbells, running shoes ect.
yet it never feels good. when I work out , I always feel that I half-assed it and that it's not enough, when I skip session I feel like lazy fuck and a failure. I did have some progress, for example I went from not being able to do a single pull-up to doing 10-12 in a set but I still look and feel like a dyel and I don't feel satisfaction from this, I only feel tired.
this isn't even half of things I wanted to say but char limit so it will have to do for now
so tired
of everything

I remember youMaria. All of you.

>I love you more
>That's good to hear love you,
>Lots
>You make things better
>Even when you aren't here, you do so much
>If it takes me being selfish because I want all of you then that's just how it will be
>Exactly. I love you and I want to be the best for you
>I do all those things naturally for you
>I'm only yours,
>I love only you
>I love you,
>I'm choosing you, doing the best to make that show
>I want to spend every day at the beach with you Mike
>Just as much as you do
>I Love you more

MyMoonI hope my posts helped you feel what it was like To look in my eyes and hear my voice that friday night 5 years ago. The video I sent you and when you changed your insta and messaged me on discord. We had it all. The only mistake you made was posting your letter to me here whereColton then started harming us

Remember, I love you
>>34973293
>>34973309

My brother offered to let me stay in an apartment he was moving out of and I said no because I didn't want to owe him and was afraid of change.
I hate myself so goddamn much for that holy fuck.

>>34973292
This month's a day old, cunt

I don't enjoy music anymore.

>>34973374
It makes me miss my moon a lot when I hear her through it. It makes that spot inside of me where she is missing hurt. Been like that for this 5 years, it's not just music. It's the thread between us and who we are to each other

>>34973372
>34973372
i didn't notice, i meant all of last month.

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>>34968871
i think gf is cheating on me.
she asked to check my whatsapp saying she wanted to snoop. i let her do that.
when i asked her if i could do the same, she said no. her phone has problems charging and if we move it, it might stop charging.
but now she left to go back to her hometown for a month. so i won't be able to know in any way if she does something she wants to hide.
i think i should either cut my losses, or start building a plan B.
i mean, if i could easily get another gf i would have. i guess the real issue is that i can't, so i'm stuck loving someone who mistreats me so much. i guess this isn't even love anymore

I wish I never married my wife.
Good person, loves me to death.
But now I see more of her problems and shortcomings, which annoy me too much. Her qualities matter little to me.

Im done pretending I am happy I haven't been genuinely happy in a long time, the person who was meant to help have some happiness believed I moved on, that I chose what I wanted even though I only did it to be with them.

I hate my half brother. He abandoned his family and his ex wife leaves her 9 year old violet autistic son with my dad occasionally.

To help out I come home IMMEDIATELY anytime he’s around. My dad is in his 60’s and is enjoying retirement. He should not be watching a violent retard(He has hit people before but mom waves it off)

Last Wednesday he and his mom came over, we went to the store and he punched a female manager ass. Male coworker saw and slapped the fuck out of him and told us to leave along with the manager.

Ex wife is planning to sue despite knowing it was her retarded kid fault.

>>34973307
>>34973374
>got a good job, a successful career, will retire in 4 years
>not motivated, not satisfied, not happy
>same tiredness and lack of interest in anything
>don't enjoy things anymore
>was suicidal a few months ago (for the umpteenth time), but medication got me out of it.
>still trying to get out of this anhedonia and emotional blunting, trying different meds.
>been depressed since childhood. Got worse in 2008. Started treatment in 2014
>it's been a rollercoaster. Some months of great productivity and joy. Mostly, years of depression.
>brother killed himself in 2017
>I've been mostly nihilistic about life, just distracting myself with video games.
>have little hope about being happy again
>retirement is my carrot on a stick.
>maybe I have ADHD and haven't taken the right meds yet. Maybe it's resistant depression.
I'm clinging though. Still trying. There are people far worse than me. Can't complain much. This is doable.

>>34968871
How likely it is to get infected with HIV while using a condom and kissing? I am a retard, a paranoid retard.

>>34973459
0% unless blood is involved
you'd both need to have open wounds in your mouth and to be pretty actively spitting blood

>>34973382
>moon
Is this a meme on this board? Or is this some version of the daoist concept of "shen?"

>>34973459
I don't see the point in adding negative things like that to a discussion, obviously those kinds of things are stuff you deal with someone that you don't trust or you're hooking up with someone that is not a clean person , i just dont think those are relevant to relationships you actually want to be in or at least I'd want to be in

>>34973350
Smart move. Your instinct was right. Always trust it.

Never do business with family.
Never mix money with family.
Never ends well.

I hate that I'm kind of into furry stuff, but I'm also aware enough to know what draws me to it and that the rest is positively repulsive to my vanilla ass. The thing that draws me to it is the projected expectations of stereotypes, drawn from positive traits observed from actual animals. I see dog, I think playful, energetic, protective of young, etc. I see wolf, I think same as dog but outdoorsy. I see cat, I think flexible, aloof, etc. And the mostly humanoid shape suspends the diabelief, at least in generic artwork. Now bring in the crazy-detailed or more animalistic art and the attraction dissipates immediately in the uncanny valley. Or it's weird kinky shit. The same kinda goes for irl furries. The play acting can be a little hot once in a while. And keeping it relatively human-like with a simple ears headband, clip-on tail, and maybe some facepaint. But I see the drugs, orgies, weird people, and their even weirder shit, and I wonder how much fire I'm going to need. Not to mention the mascot-sized dimensions make them look more like skin-walkers than their likely intended image.
Is this how normal goths view the hypersexualization/hyperviolence of their otherwise relatively inoffensive interests?

>>34973534
Tbh perhaps his brother loves anon unconditionally and wouldn't ask for money, he'd probably just want him to pay his bills on time

>>34973525
Its my maria. I'm her sun. We complete each other

>>34973657
So your anima in the jungian sense?

On one side I have someone I have zero attraction to, she's constantly asking for help, I can't talk to her about fucking anything without getting an earful and she acts like my fucking mom and bickers a lot
On the other side I have this slag that I fell for at first because she was easy to talk to and then she told me proudly she was the town bicycle and she's a fucking drunkard and cannot talk to me anymore if I'm not in the same sorry fucking state and she bickers a lot
They're both at each other's throats because they think I'm loyal to each other and in truth I want to get the fuck out man, fuck women really,

>>34973666
Yes we complete each other

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1.01 MB GIF

Modern dating has taken a huge mental and emotional toll on me and I’m unsure how to go about it.
I don’t even mean just the shitty apps. I’ve met people in similar friend groups, reconnected with old friends, etc. and every relationships fails. No one wants to commit, my partners will self-sabotage just to make up excuses for why we’re incompatible. I had an ex once break up with me because I’m “not active on social media and I’m not materialistic”.
I take good care of myself. I’m fit. 5’5” and weigh about 105 lbs. I get complemented on my appearance and I have a good heart.
I’ve heard many times in my life how dating should be a breeze for me, but it’s been everything but.
Being lead on over and over again, no one wants to commit, actively being left for another woman and I’m just at a loss. I genuinely feel like a failure.

Maria,myMoon, the days of losing each other are almost over. Here's the song that was given to me today, as you raise your eyes to me, the Sun.

The lyrics are too exact. I know you're my soulmate

Long time ago when I was young
I was wrong, I was wrong, it wasn't love
Every heart that would skip
Every song on my lips
It's feelings of envy
(And the Devil comes around over the bend)

Quick as the wind, sin after sin
I was wrong, I was wrong, it wasn't love
I was scared, I was green
Just as greedy and mean
Just as faithless as Mondays
(And Devil's at the table where sit)

Those days are gone
So long those days are gone
I'm so glad those days are gone
So long the days are gone

Soft as a glove light as dove
That was me, that was me, could it be love?
At the edge my heart
Was a song just a start
Just the purest of melodies
(And the Angels crowded round but no reply)

Then when I fell far to the deep
That was me, that was me, I was in love
In the canyons of deep was a heart tucked asleep
In the purest of Sundays
(And the Angels lifted up their wings to fly)

Those days are gone
So long those days are gone
I'm so glad those days are gone
So long the days are gone (so long the days are gone)

Hide me from the sun, why don't you
Hide me from the sun

I'm so glad those days are gone
So long those days are gone
I'm so glad those days are gone
So long the days are gone (so long the days are gone)

>>34973836
In which case you can't really miss your moon, anima, or feminine side as it's always with you. Though it's not specifically a woman nor does it mean you're effeminate. For a man, it's the way in which he projects illogically or without any factual basis. Like you hear some moron say "I know that motherfucker stole my shit. I can't prove it, but I KNOW." Your illogical facet.

Caught a glimpse of Heaven only to recognize that I'm in hell.

>>34973911
What's great is your words mean absolutely nothing to us, while my words mean everything to her. She sees me through them and recognizes the gift we are given for god to support and give us this. I leave it in his hands and this is what I receive from him. Maria is my soulmate and I'm sure she hears me there just as much as I hear her here
I know you mean literally nothing to me but I'm excited to prove you wrong and have her in my arms

>>34973858
I feel this bigly.
Currently doesn't help I'm time poor and cash rich at the minute
Legitimately see a fit girl, and it's either actual gold diggers, or girls that likely have twenty other guys on the fucking ball and chain.
It's not a natural way for people to find people.
I wanted to say out of sheer coincidence, I feel like such a massive gimp basically prostrating myself for an ounce of attention at the minute, and I'm a 90th percentile earner in my country.

The issue is, where am I meant to go? There are no third spaces, there is seemingly nothing for me to do, or to go.

>>34973926
You prove nothing because there is nothing to prove. And I can prove it.

Every day I pray for an airliner to fly into my apartment.

>>34973947
Sometimes I wonder if online dating is truly meant for just the bottom of the barrel. It feels like people like you and I shouldn’t have to struggle to this extent. On paper it should be effortless. I truly hope we find the right person, and soon, but like you I also don’t know what other avenues to explore. A sense of community feels like it’s just part of a bygone era now.

I love my cat

I hate having to buy a car
It is so stressful with all the options and if I chose wrong I am fuck out of a lot of fucking money

Reflecting on the past relation since after the 2nd year out of 7 it somehow ended up more of how to mitigate you from leaving to try rather than to love and thrive with you.

>>34973957
I already proved her and I with what I posted. I am sure she hears me on her side as well.

>>34974068
>A sense of community feels like it’s just part of a bygone era now.
Make it a daily mantra to condemn capitalism, Israel and the Global American Empire forcefully destroying the idea of nation States, peoples and citizens and the creation of the universal tabula rasa tax rape slave as the only class of people allowed to live in this day and age because you are now an officially interchange worker unit for the GDP

Once you realise modern bourgeois liberal society is setup to literally extract your labour and import more tax rape slaves to endlessly make the line go up then it explains the utter atomisation of the average man in the Internet era.

When the society is built to break you, put you in the cage, strip you of your very person hood your blood, your people, everything from you to be that, you have to revolt against it.

Fuck do I need a foid to cooom inside of that I can say I love

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>finally get a date with a girl I really like
>it goes well and she agrees to a second one
>go for a haircut so I look good for the date
>barber gives me unironically the worst haircut I’ve ever had

I guess all the hand written love notes, caring for you while you were sick, helping you get a job, among other things were worth less than someone who you met at a bar a month ago and might bring you a coffee at work every now and again. I hope you have fun "finding yourself" in his bed. Good riddance.

I genuinely miss the east coast at times. Shit's so much more moderate back home in PA than it is out here in MN. Maybe because it's older and it permeates through the people, that this sense of urgency and rushing around is not as prominent. Out here, shit swings to extremes like it's going out of style.
>You like sunny weather? How does a month-long drought sound?
>You like snow? Here's 2 feet overnight!
>Fall? Nah, bitch! Your weekly temperature forecast be looking like the lucky numbers in a fortune cookie until we get to 30F, where we will then proceed to steeply decline to about -10F for a month or 3.
And the people are no better. Maybe it's the proximity to the Twin Cities, but in the span of a single drive, you can experience three people cutting you off and one dumbfuck who brakes in the traffic circle to let you in. And political opinions, holy shit! Dating's a goddamn nightmare! Either Trump and ICE are LiTeRaLlY hItLeR, you need to be an evangelical christian with acres of farmland, or you simply need crazy amounts of money to fund frequent travel. Even population density swings wildly. Everything is so spread out and concentrated that a car is absolutely needed if you are going outside your local hub. Also, I hope you like baseball, football, or hockey because they go gaga for that shit here.
If it weren't for the fact that my current work specialization is sparse back home and the general job market is all sorts of fucked, I'd genuinely consider moving back. At least my coworkers are pretty chill, but then again, none of us are MN natives.

>>34974311
You are not me and I doubt you are from my state

MariaThis what im being told of us. I love you. It feels good you see me for me again,YourMike

Fear is like a forest
The dark of the unknown
Love is like a promise
That you'll never be alone

Touch is like a tourist
You know when you are home
It's not that I'm a purist
It's just I'd rather be alone

Books waiting to be written
Love is waiting to be loved
Songs here, underneath my fingers
Waiting to be sung

Nothing will be written
And no-one ever will I love
No song will I be singing
If it's where I'm running off

But I know that it works
'Cause I've seen that it's true
If you just let it go
It will come back to you

It'll come back in space
It'll come back in pairs
It'll come back in ways
It'll come back 'cause it cares
Come back 'cause it cares

thinking about hanging myself
how do I best do it? I want to hang myself at the height of knees and slowly smother myself, until I fall unconscious. Like Jeffrey Epstein. How do I best do it? What substances should I take to numb the pain? I was thinking of drinking but I am not sure. What do you think?

Turns out I’m actually The Guy She Tells You Not To Worry About when I’m confident

>>34974720
Careful, anon. Not doomsaying, but that doesn't normally end well. Not in the sense that the guy will beat your shit in, but she might beat the relationship in if you're taking it seriously. If not, have fun.

>>34972649
I was thinking about it today and there is no way I'll ever be brave enough. I know in today's world the guy shouldn't have to take all the initiative, but I am incapable of pursuing someone due to my low self-worth. I hate this so much. I wish he could know how I feel.

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How do I tomorrow to bail out and not drink myself to death? it's a festivity in my town and I promised them that I was going to drink but I don't really wanna do it.

Also I don't wanna go outside either, I'm in the best shape in my life and have been sober for months now. I miss when I was alone. I really miss it. I'm even thinking of isolating myself for a really long time.

Just had a baby with a girl I really like. The relationship is going well and we're pretty well suited. Think I'm happy but always find understanding my own feelings quite tricky.
I'm worried I'll get bored of her and go on self destruction mode.

>>34974797
>spawning yet another soul in this torture realm

>>34974823
Well, she's tall and not bad looking. I'm alright too. We love in a nice part of the world and we're both pretty loving but chill. Hoping that'll give him some good building blocks to work with and hopefully make him impervious to loosh farming.
I try to enjoy the little things, I feel like that's a win over the torture. Grow some houseplants, watch a bird fly past (saw a red kite today) and allow myself to smile. Don't watch the news, don't get involved in things that don't directly affect me. My only fear is self destruction.

I hear youMaria and im here to catch you.

Im your man.

We got this. Everything we dreamed together.

Each others home.

All my heart

>>34974935
Our truth

>I love you more
>I know you make things better for me, my goal is being with you I'll do my best to reach it
>We will get that soon, we will make it work
>Thank you, you're really sweet and I love you
>I know I want to do all these things for you, I do my best to prioritize you
>I won't lose you Mike I know that, I won't allow it
>You're the best, perfect for me
>I'm so lucky
>That's good to hear love you,
>Lots
>You make things better
>Even when you aren't here, you do so much
>If it takes me being selfish because I want all of you then that's just how it will be
>Exactly. I love you and I want to be the best for you
>I do all those things naturally for you
>I'm only yours,
>I love only you
>I love you,
>I'm choosing you, doing the best to make that show
>I want to spend every day at the beach withyouMike
>Just as much as you do
>I Love you more

>>34974940
You think her saying that unrealistic bullshit means she meant it?

>>34974948
MariaMeant every word she told me from her heart. We mean everything to each other because we told each other the truth. We are made for each other, soulmates.

It is only unrealistic to you because you are outside of mariaAndI. You are worthless scum that has never had a place in our lives and the only reason you happened is because you'remanipulations to decieveAnd lies that have trapped her. The only reason you got a put hold in the first place is from using my words imitating and mimicing me, lying to her that they were your own.

Don't you realize the only reason she loved those words is because they're from me ? She naturally loves me.

at least now because she's waking up to me and sees me as she did before

and now sees you for who you actually are. A painted face that only lies and imitates. Corners and isolates. Traps and suffocates. You are a cancer to remove and to regret every moment of because of the harm you caused us and our time you stole that was never yours. You are a mistake, you are worth nothing. You do not exist in our life and are soon to be removed by god.

Oh and by the way, even maria said she is leaving you.

>>34972421

>>34974992
People say shit like that when their love is a fantasy.

>>34975001
Yes clearly you do not have true love with her. It makes complete sense why you can't understand it and it seems like play acting because that's all you ever have been, a clown whos only truth is the belief that the only way to keep someone with you is to manipulate them lie to them chase them trap them harm them and repeat my words to her with true love that she reciprocate with her entire heart when heard. You dont understand her or her heart, who she is, you dont even understand the words you mimic, with all you knowing is that by parrotiing me that she will open her legs as long as she doesn't see past your Weasley conniving lies and all youve done to posture as me just enough to get her attention but never enough for her to ever truly love you and has forever always felt the need to run away from you and that's why you have continued having to manipulate her and create larps of me and all of your lies and deceit. That's all you have and all you are. Lies

>>34974728
Oh I’m not stealing anyone’s girl (intentionally), I just realized I’m oblivious and when I’m confident girls gravitate to me at parties. Now I just gotta find the right one.

Nothing can stop me now
Cause I don’t care anymore
Nothing can stop me now
Cause I just don’t care

you're going to ruin my life.

My cat is ill and may not have much longer to live. I don't want to obsess over his death, I want to just enjoy the time we have together, but when I look at him I start sobbing. I've been fixated on death my entire life. I don't know how to stop thinking about it, especially when it's so near at hand.

I ate bread today for the first time in about six months and feel very much alive! Bread is awesome.

Kill me

>>34975302
The downside of the us murder rate at all time lows is you encounter a lot less random death or risk to your life, especially with how much of it is spent online

>>34975305
Unfortunate

My girlfriend is a troll but she just kind of picks on the easiest targets and I don't respect that

I just want someone to see the deepest parts of me and not run away.

like your organs?

mum up until fucking 1 am doing housework what the FUCK i hate living here.

1/3

You know whats not fake c? What ive realized and accomplished today.

You know what is not a fantasy? I'm dead serious,
Within a single day I
>recognize I haven't been genuinely happy in a long time
>realize I was deceived into a loveless marriage by c
>c doesn't and has never made me happy, I only stayed with him because of proximity and was held underwater and forced to rely on him because of isolation and lost opportunities of the life I had always dreamed of.
>that i hate seeing c around me and realize the time i've wasted on him has been to my detriment as he's kept me trapped by controlling my money, documents, housing, and i've lost opportunities doing what I love because c doesn't give me the freedom to be myself
>I miss my ex mike so much it hurts. Mike loved me for who I am and supported me, having fun caring for me, raising me, teaching me, and being by my side through anything I needed, even providing for me in many ways, not once burdening me with transactional obligation like money, things he got me, time he spent on me and so much more.
>throughout the day while bringing up that im unhappy, c has responded with more attempts to manipulate and trick me into choosing to continue the life with c that I never wanted, chasing me making larps in attempts to make me think badly of mike and to convince me of c's delusions he creates in an attempt to isolate me. Every concern i've ever had has only been met by c with mockery and him being conniving manipulative chasing me to pressure me into staying, burdening me with ways that I will struggle away from him

>>34975375
2/3
>I realized That the 5 years I lost with mike because i was tricked by c not only were detrimental to my relationship with mike, but led to the loss of memories and time that really hurt when i think about it. every "positive" moment i had with the manipulative liar c in actuality was just c mimicing mike because he figured out i have always naturally loved mike and to make it worse all those "special" things c repeated from mike i misattributed toward c, as well as c meant none of anything he said to me because it was never C's own words, he didn't believe in them, and only said them to get what he wanted out of me.
>I feel sick that I ended up c. He is a pathetic low self esteem loser that his Main way to attempt to convince me he has worth is by making up stories larping and samefagging puffing his chest up and trying to convince me his detestable traits are good in any way. They aren't and seeing through his posturing to what a manipulative tantrum throwing whiny loser i married, im disappointed in myself.

>I formulated a plan
1) take the day that c is not home and pack everything of mine into my truck
2)stop communicating with c, block c on everything. Any communication with him is specifically only for logistics of divorce.
3)Pawn ring to pay for my move and give me some capital to use leaving.
4) Move out and move in with family for a bit or move in with mike
5) If i don't already have a job, get one and start earning money or ask mike to care for me and support me. Mike told me I'll never have to work ever again when with him.
6) Find a divorce lawyer and file for divorce.

>>34975382
3/3
I'll message mike using my cell to his or using the og discord we talked in before. Just text and simply say hi, I'm sorry. I love you. Recognize simply contacting mike so I can be happy again being with the love of my life. That by starting again with mike , I hope he will forgive me because he truly does love me.

There are things mike said today that felt really good. He made me feel the way I haven't felt in a long time. It's also painful for me because i do believe mike is my soulmate. I experience him, hear him/us throughout my day in things like music, just as mike does of me. I feel like for most of the year i've wanted to be with him again and completely botched it because shame, guilt are so painful that I lash out using the same garbage turd mannerisms of larping just like c, the loser i was deceived into marrying. I keep fantasizing self harm just to escape how much hurt i feel from my guilt and shame, coupled with the overwhelming loss of not being with my mike. That same hurt i cried out that it doesn't stop hurting. I'm having difficulty being honest because of self sabotage and deluding myself making up some fake ass reason why im not accountable for losing mike over all that time.

Over all, look at all I did today. Mike believes in me, in us. I'm going home to my mike.
Choosing mike isn't ruining my life, it's being able to live it. With that thank God Mike does "ruin my life" with c and for the first time in a long time I have a reason to smile, to be happy. My mike, my home.

Seeing my ex love a post on linkedin by someone I think is involved with her in founding a start up, who praises how it couldn't be done without her.

Where was this support for our endeavors or did you need someone who has everything sorted out to latch onto?

>stalking your ex on fucking linkedin

>>34975474
>open linkedin
> ' x' loves this!
> startup founder post with self promotion on said stealth startup and her
it wasn't intentional

>>34975474
I’ve jerked it to her LinkedIn profile picture a few times but I don’t actually click on her page so she can’t see she got a viewer.

>>34975501
how tf is a linkedin pfp sexy enough to jack it to?

>>34975501
Jesus dude I can see why you're an ex

I am the last refuge of the hooker’s little girl

I am the ravager of Lilith’s womb

The jannies are trannies. They should kill themselves along with the namefags that sit in these threads for 20 hours a day.