Alright, anons. I'm probably going to get some normie flack but here goes.. PLEASE try and be, at bare minimum, mildly helpful, if at all possible... I'm interviewing next week at a fortune 500 (I know, the man) and am looking for ANY help with regard to the interview itself that could be beneficial. I'm going to try and either put some well-placed notes near/just under my web cam, and possibly have a couple of notes up on my screen. WHAT else can I possibly do to get an edge? I'm thinking more along the lines of notes/cheat sheets but ANYTHING's welcome... Anything you've got, shoot if over, please... And I know I'm a faggot.. Thank you kindly in advance, /b/rothers.. This could change my life
Also, I have a complete POS webcam I got from Walmart several years ago. Any suggestions on a decent, cheap cam would be greatly appreciated..If even necessary
They want to get to know the person they are going to end up working with. Hopefully you know what you need to know to do the job.. but they're also trying to envision actually working with you in the future. So just keep that in mind with your general demeanor. I've never once used notes in an interview so I can't help you there.
>>944942528Thank you kindly, anon. I'm aware of this, but it helps for you to remind me and drive it home. The position/company is known to ask kind of technical questions and how one would categorize, prioritize and run shit.
Fuck this captcha faggotry
>>944941554I would stay away from alcohol a week in advance, to get my head straight. Stress handling is much better then, at least for me.Also, try to get a workout that morning, helps to calm you down and stabilize yoiur mood.Like the other anon said, they already assume you can do the job, so main priority is to make a good impression.Good luck anon.
>>944941554Look for openings to casually engage with the interviewer by briefly "talking shop." If they mention something they've worked on, or something the company has worked on or been a part of, and you know something about it, especially something that isn't commonly known, just be like "oh wow, I bet you ran into [whatever]?"When you do that in an interaction with someone, it helps solidify yourself in their mind. It also shows you're engaging/interested, and may even make them think "oh shit this guy actually knows something about this field instead of just throwing around buzzwords he learned on LinkedIn!"Also pay attention to and remember everyone's name, and then casually drop that in IF a fluid opportunity arises. "Oh yes, I mean like I told Pat previously, I was blah blah blah..."If the conversation moves to your desired salary, have three figures already determined: the high figure (without being overly unrealistic), what you'll settle for and what makes you pass. Give the high figure, wait for them to counteroffer, and if it's at or around what you'll settle for, great. If it's below your "oh fuck no" point, decline.This is all I can offer. Good luck to you. I'm currently unemployed and have been running the fucking interview gauntlet since before Thanksgiving. It fucking sucks.
>>944943999Thank you kindly, anon. Much appreciated.
>>944941771Honestly if it's at least HD you're fine. Chances are they're on some shit bulk deal Logitech cams.
>>944944188Thank you so much, mate. I'm sorry to hear you're in this fucking gauntlet interview cycle as well. Shit blows. If you don't mind saying, what industry are you in or looking to get into?
>>944944230Mine currently is a POS Onn walmart special. I don't think more than 1440p.. not certain.. just certain that it's a complete turd. I'm wondering if at least a HD camera, if I can make any better appearance adjustments.. NOT overly tech savyAlso, WTAF is "exactly 2 stars with 5 spikes"?
>>944944343Electromechanical technician.I'm in one of the largest cities in the US, but I keep encountering:>openings that are handled by completely inept staffing agencies>openings that are on the complete opposite end of the city and want to pay only two-thirds to as low as one-half what the job should pay>openings in dusty little shithole buildings that time forgot, listening to some boomer or some lowlife's muzak all fucking dayI really, really wish I had chose the accounting path as far back as high school. I'm currently waiting to see if either Amazon or the major supermarket chain here want me (it's been over a month with each). At this rate I'll probably find myself wearing a fucking monkey apron in a Home Shithole in a few months. Or I could "werk da trades" and destroy my body for what is still shit pay for the next few years.
>>944944468>I'm wondering if at least a HD cameraAnything 1080 or higher is HD, so you should be fine. But you should give it a few test runs to make sure. Record some videos, ask a family member to install Zoom or whatever the interview will be conducted using, then if it's dodgy, run to Walmart and buy a Logitech cam.>Also, WTAF is "exactly 2 stars with 5 spikes"?Flip one upside down and then overlay them and you find out who it is who keeps us underemployed and broke.
>>944944541Eat lots of poop
>>944944541If you don't mind me asking, where have you been searching for your desired positions? Perhaps I can help there a little bit... This is OP btw..>>944944630>Anything 1080 or higher is HD, so you should be fineThank you mate. My camera is pretty finicky unless just the right amount of light. I mean, it's OKAY, but wondering about this one instead of the current Onn... https://www.bestbuy.com/product/logitech-brio-100-1080p-full-hd-webcam-for-meetings-and-streaming-graphite/J7H7ZYGJW6/sku/6550199?utm_source=feed&extStoreId=32>Flip one upside down and then overlay them and you find out who it is who keeps us underemployed and broke.I seriously kekd.. Is this accurate?
>>944944950>If you don't mind me asking, where have you been searching for your desired positions?Indeed, ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn.It's glorified blue collar shit but I'm extremely good at it, and I'll fucking an hero before I go back to IT.Any Logitech cam will be good. They're pretty much the standard. Mine is like ten years old at this point and still great.>Is this accurate?Who nose.....
>>944941554i can feel anxiety through your typing. if you got the interview then they already want to hire you. if they don't hire you, well you've already proven you're capable enough to get the interview at one of these big boy companies, so another will come. so you really are just being a fag about it. just don't show that faggotness when you meet with them, because they see it all the time and they'll see it with you if you don't chill out
If you don't already do this, use an Ethernet connection instead of wi-fi. It drops out less, so you get better experience on video calls. (Of course, you can't do this if you don't have access to the router - some apartments are like this.)
>>944945918
>>944941554>am looking for ANY help with regard to the interview itself that could be beneficial.Search youtube interview advice videos on what type of things to say, and what type of things NOT to say in an interview, preferably from guys who are recruiters or hiring managers. Former fortune 500 hiring manager here.
>>944944736Great idea! I was going to suggest that if given the chance, to blow the interviewer.
Have specific scenarios prepared that demonstrate your capability relevant to the job. Interview questions are worded in such a way that they're rarely asking the obvious question. "Tell us about your biggest failure" is actually "demonstrate your ability to own failure and improve yourself", for example. Anyways. Have 5 good situations ready to go, and make your good answers fit questions where relevant. Also if you're inexperienced use the STAR method (search it if unfamiliar) and use that to stay on topic and keep answers appropriately long. When you are done your answer STOP TALKING. seen too many people talk themselves out of a perfect answer because they can't shut up.
I got nothing. Be mindful of your social media accounts. Don't be the retard that gets fired before they start due to swearing. For some reason employers think they have the right to look through them and judge you.
>>944945560>Indeed, ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn.>It's glorified blue collar shit but I'm extremely good at it, and I'll fucking an hero before I go back to IT.I know this is some redundant shit.. but if I've found anything out, it's who, not what, you know. Probably obvious, but have you networked the fvck out of shit? Like, truly knocked on some of these faggots doors? IT was that bad, yeah?>Any Logitech cam will be good. They're pretty much the standard.Thank you
>>944945763Yeah, I get your faggotry references, mate. I'm generally very calm/cool/collected. I don't, nor have I ever, done a TON of interviews in my life. I believe I've been fairly fortunate... or not. But I've never done the fortune 500 faggotry before... never. And, today's job climate is pretty abysmal. Also, You're talking about literally, hundreds and hundreds of applicants for this position in particular. So, truly, thank you for your vote of confidence. They probably narrow it down to, I don't know, 8-10, and go from there. You're looking at MULTIPLE rounds of interviews as well, so, there's that. And yes, I'll most definitely hold the faggotness to an absolute minimum... far below /b/'s standards>>944945918I actually truly need to do this. ty
>>944947493>Former fortune 500 hiring manager hereWell, shit... Bring it anon!>>944949327>Great idea! I was going to suggest that if given the chance, to blow the interviewer.WTF.. Why didn't I think of that>>944949394Thank you, mate>>944951665>Be mindful of your social media accountsHoly shit you're on target here, mate. Does cuck and tranny porn on my social media hurt me here? /s
>>944941554Meticulously groomed.Even go as far as using some makeup (not like Vance tier eyeliner or Sunny Delight tier bronzer but enough so take away the shine and have a smooth skin tone).
>>944953129Even go as far as using some makeup (not like Vance tier eyeliner or Sunny Delight tier bronzer but enough so take away the shine and have a smooth skin tone).You know, I believe this, which is why one of my questions revolved around the new webcam. And I KNOW this sounds ultra-ghey, but I'm also looking for a face filter app. Not wanting to look crazy or over coifed, but some subtle touches would be great. The interview is going to be on Teams, unfortunately. I prefer Zoom for various reasons, chief amongst them is the filters. Teams is sorely lacking and kind of sucks. I tried the ultra-gay, filteronme app, but it lags horrifically. ANY advice here as well would be greatly appreciated... Again.. I know it's super gay, but want to hit any and all angles I possibly can
>>944953588Sorry, fvcked up green text>Even go as far as using some makeup (not like Vance tier eyeliner or Sunny Delight tier bronzer but enough so take away the shine and have a smooth skin tone).You know, I believe this, which is why one of my questions revolved around the new webcam. And I KNOW this sounds ultra-ghey, but I'm also looking for a face filter app. Not wanting to look crazy or over coifed, but some subtle touches would be great. The interview is going to be on Teams, unfortunately. I prefer Zoom for various reasons, chief amongst them is the filters. Teams is sorely lacking and kind of sucks. I tried the ultra-gay, filteronme app, but it lags horrifically. ANY advice here as well would be greatly appreciated... Again.. I know it's super gay, but want to hit any and all angles I possibly can
>>944941554If you got to an interview they already decided you can do the job. The interview is to see if you will fit into the corporate culture and if they'll be able to bear working next to you. So try to read the room and be the kind of person the person on screen would fit with. Match your level of formality, confidence, talkiness, etc to his
>>944941554Do your homework. Know all you can about this specific company. Be able to say things like "I know you're making a big move into the consumer sector and would like to be part of that." It's total bullshit and they know it, but you've told them you bothered to learn about them
>>944945763So is this my body's way of signaling that I was meant to take big Black nigger cocks in all holes?
>>944955296Please don't derail & fvck my shit up with this faggotry..
>>944955228I appreciate this, thank you anon. To be very clear, this is an extremely competitive position in an extremely competitive climate. Which is truly why I'm attempting to cover any and all angles I possibly can. You know, If I do, and they tell me to fuck off, at least I can say I did my best and covered as many angles as I possibly could have. Also, and this is a HUGE point.. There's a certain pedigree that almost ALWAYS gets these positions.. and I mean with near certainty. And I'm NOT one of them, traditionally. I mean, I definitely have the experience, know how, and all, but there's just a certain trajectory/pedigree that isn't me...never has been. I've done things very differently...Despite the fact that I'm somewhat currently in that field, I've ALWAYS felt like an outsider. Think of me as the pimple faced kid who's got glasses and 50 lbs overweight who, over a summer, got god tier skin and tan, lost the glasses and donned some contacts, and dropped the lbs and got buff. I'm still a nerd at heart, and my friends are all still nerds, but I now have the invitation to the dance. However, despite that invitation ( job interview for god tier role in god tier company) you still feel that you don't belong. Your friends have seen this and want to prop you up because they can live vicariously, and ultimately know exactly who you are... This is all figurative & fictious, and an example of sorts to prove a point.. but hopefully you get the picture. Sorry for the dissertation..Also, NEVER forget where you came from
NIGGER BOOMSHAKALAKA DA BIG BLACK COCKA
>>944956136So you have to watch sports and trash talk their alma mater and professional teams of choice?
>>944956226Quit being a faggot, faggot. gtfo
>>944956294You think that'll help? I'm all in if so
>>944941554depends on what you are interviewing for.See if you can google around to see what their interview questions are and drill those questions. I did that for my current job and I got the exact question I drilled and I knocked it out of the fucking park. Got a good offer pretty soon right after that.
>>944956398That's how I see people of that sort interacting and bonding.
>>944956500Baseball homerun
>>944956538Gotcha... Well, you're not far off. They're alma maters are oft times ivy league and such... I'm like Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill...."Go land snails"
>>944956500Good for you, anon. How long ago was this, if you don't mind me asking?
>>944956842Just recently in the past 6 months. Left AWS for this new job which is fully remote which is fucking nice.Slightly better pay, don't have to go to the office, a much better manager. The job search was a grind (literally the busiest I have been in my life because we were also in crunch time at AWS), and I drilled that specific question over and over again, but it was worth it. I could tell right after the question (software engineer, it was an algorithm question) that I would get an offer. We even joked afterwards how there were no bugs in my code and it just worked the first time we ran it.
>>944957056Nice.. Glad you're happy at your new role, anon.A grind indeed, though
>>944957056Did you use any notes?
>>944957538I had some on a second laptop that is behind my laptop which had to have a webcam on, so I could have cheated by looking. I didn't even need to though, all of the code was drilled in my muscle memory from doing that specific problem over and over.
>>944961053That was a good back up plan though. That's what I'm currently deciding on
>>944944541If the dusty little shithole with boomer Muzak pays reasonably, take it. The reality is that most workplaces are boomer adapted because that's who retired in mass. Accounting positions likewise.
>>944965554>If the dusty little shithole with boomer Muzak pays reasonably, take it.This, unironically
>>944944468>WTAF is "exactly 2 stars with 5 spikes"If you can not grasp this most basic of concepts, you aren't smart enough and don't deserve to work in a fortune 500 company.
>>944968433/S reetardIf I didn't understand this bewildering concept, how could I be posting.. Jeezus H, smooth brain
>>944941554Be yourself, and try to demonstrate you have what it takes to do the job.Your fortune: Godly Luck
>>944970274Thanks, anon
>>944941554Listen up, because I'm being serious and I know this for a fact. Light up that webcam, long before the interview and see EXACTLY what is in the frame and lock that cam in place. Don't move it. You want a good, professional backdrop that fits the position. No posters, or anime, or any other type of shit. No bright lights coming in that could fuck up the image and no open windows that could let outside noise in. Maybe a few small touches to let someone know what your interests are. If you can't get this sort of thing where the computer is, move the damned computer and set up somewhere where you CAN get a good shot.
>>944973166Great advice, listen to this guy OP.
>>944973166I appreciate this anon. I'll be in my home office with a couple of tasteful world maps on the wall, one behind me about 8' and one on a perpendicular wall, that one could somewhat make out. There's also a globe and telescope in the background. It's not as cluttered as it sounds... at all. The wall color is neutral. In the FAR corner of the room, one can barely make out a riveted, leather club chair
As someone who has never failed a job interview in their life, I can tell you that no company gives a shit about what interests a prospective hire has. That is something people say when they have nothing relevant to talk about. Some of the most common questions you will be asked is "tell us what you know about (insert company name here)" or "Why would you be a good fit for us?" The most important thing to do is research the company. Find out what their most successful product/service/location is, memorise figures, know the names of people at the top of the company and most important of all, come up with a solid reason as to why you want to work at the company and why your current skills and experience are relevant to the job role. Tell them you envision a longterm career with the company and are looking to be challenged/work at your best under pressure and ask questions of your own like what opportunities there are for future advancement in the company. Even if you have no intention of being promoted, this sells the illusion that you have drive and ambition and will be a valuable asset to the company instead of a drone who will turn up and do the bare minimum until you find a better job elsewhere. Asking questions of your own makes you appear confident. Think about times in your previous jobs where you have challenged poor colleague behaviour/worked outside your comfort zone or job description or helped/mentored a colleague to expand their knowledge/skills in their role. Most important of all is to not blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind and have a clear answer. You can avoid awkward silences and stumbling and stall for time to buy yourself a few seconds to think by using phrases like "Ok, well to the best of my knowledge/in that instance/as an example" or in a pinch you can say "sorry, can you repeat that please?" Lastly, have a glass of water on your desk to occasionally sip. You will look relaxed and won't have a dry mouth.
>>944974731Thank you very much for your insight, anon. I'm currently going over relatively standard questions I've found for this company, and those of its ilk, for positions such as this. I'm fairly certain I'm not going to be able to gather all the intel/questions they'll throw at me. However, I'm going to try my damnedest to do just that. This being said, it's fuck tonne of material. That's another reason why I'm looking to ambiguously stash some notes, somewhere. I can throw some up on my scree under my cam, or strategically place some note cards as well. However, I may be wearing glasses because I don't want to wear my contacts.. and I'm a little concerned the notes might be seen through the reflection of my glasses. I'll probably need to work with the angles of everything to hopefully make it work
Didn't read thread. You don't need to hide secret notes. You can have your notes prepared. However, any notes prepared prior to the interview should be printed and and notes taken should be handwritten. (You don't want to openly be using your computer, they may suspect AI assisting you.)If they and what you are referencing or writing, just say that you have notes and/or are taking notes because you wanted to be as prepared / thorough / organized / as possible.
>>944972544Dubs checked.
have a bookcase with books on how you arent a pipebomber
I wouldn’t sweat the notes. I’d just think about your response the following questions that are pretty much guaranteed to be in an interview. #1 Why do you want to work here?#2 Why should I hire you?#3 Tell me about yourself (this is not wide open to whatever - keep it relatable to the job at hand.)#4 What is your greatest weakness? (Be honest - pick something that you turned into a strength or at least have learned to deal with.)#5 Tell me about a project (or incident) at work that you struggled with and how you overcame it.)#6 What questions do you have for us? (Do NOT say “You answered them. Think of SOMETHING to ask about even if you know the answer. It showed you did the research into the company.Stay on target when you’re answering questions. 4-6 sentences is fine. Be confident but be humble. You’ve got this!
I mean when they say pac lives I’m not sure man wasn’t that around dahmer and escobars time
>>944976186Fucking brilliant, mate.kek
>>944976218Thank you, anon. I appreciate your insight and vote of confidence>>944976258?
>sign into zoom interview>indian>aposematic chick>nerdy middle-aged white guy>let them introduce themselves>managing supervisor>HR>guy who works in the department and will actually be doing most of the interview, but cannot make hiring decisions>immediately obvious the jeet and dangerhair stopped paying attention to the video>randomly shift volume of mic a few times while answering questions to confirm they muted the call, too>abruptly ask the tech guy if he knows whether they gave auto transcription on for these videos and if I'd be able to get a copy>he says they don't>point out the other two stopped paying attention and have had the call muted probably the whole time>ask him if he can remember the last time they hired anyone who wasn't Indian>he looks around, checks behind himself>shoot the shit for the rest of the time>point him at some of the other companies I've interviewed with that didn't seem to be as obviously illegally discriminating for when the jeet inevitably replaces him with a cousin or uncle>dangerhair eventually puts down her phone, unmutes, and immediately cuts in with some boilerplate about don't call us we'll call you>we sit in an awkwardly long silence until the jeet notices she's pinged him to wrap up the meeting with content free scriptI'm not even looking for a new job.
You're needed in the field
>>944970197Well even understanding it, you still question it so......
>>944952646Don't forget to swallow their cum
>>944941554>>944941771If it's an HR roastie just smile, say you're a team player and throw around some technical mumbo jumbo alongside a made-up success story. They go by protocol, so the more checkmarks you get, the better.If it's with the hiring manager it all depends completely on whether they find you likeable or not. Convince them that you're open to criticism, easy to work with, eager to help and stay for a long time. They know you know shit about the job, they just want to be certain that you're the right pick and they won't have to fire you in 2 months because you turned out to be a retarded autist that no one likes.
>>944990625>....because you turned out to be a retarded autist that no one likes.Well, fvck. There goes that
>>944984865That's fucked. Is IT truly that far gone?
>>944941554Stick 50 dollars worth of pennies up your ass then spend them.
>>944991142That's 5,000 pennies, sir
>>944941554Go interview for a position at Utah Valley University
>>944991779
>>944941554Get a job
>>944991856I've got a job, faggot
>>944991949You're a chronically unemployed nigger
>>944992005Says the faggot doom scrolling on /b/ mid morning, Monday and continually posting inane faggotry in my thread. I p0wN u FaGgEtFor you, retard..in·ane/iˈnān/adjectivesilly; stupid.lel
>>944992979Go back to your discord logfag, nobody gives a shit that you faggots are trying your hardest to gatekeep 4chan like buttmad pReddit niggers. Update your prompts bro, LOLvis is getting SSTALEE
>>944992979This >>944993026Was meant for >>944992005But your text spacing pretty much puts you out there as the same gay liberal faggot that is here everyday so i guess it works for you to. Fuck off signature bitch
>>944993077Proof? Dubs logged throte clogged
