35 year old man. Tall/good looking. Went to a top undergrad. Future looked promising and I always planned to become a lawyer.In college I had a mental break and had severe mental health problems. Did a lot of crazy destructive stuff Falling out with family. Father (who was a great support base) and I didn’t talk for 10 years. At top undergrad former slutty girl I briefly dated finds Jesus/feminism and accuses me of S/A. She’s a slut who used me as a scapegoat. No legal issues but it kills my confidence further.Get job as file clerk at law firm making $13/hour at 23. Slowly work my way up as a paralegal. Take the lsat at 25 and get into some decent mid ranked law schools.Still traumatized from college stuff and keep working and drinking. Start gambling on crypto. Lose bad.At 35 I got into such bad crypto gambling debt ($70k) that I had to move to San Francisco and get the highest paying paralegal job I could find. I will make like $145k with bonus. I live in a 175 sq foot unit to save money.Just got sober again and started lifting weights and running. Have this idea that one day I’ll beat my financial and personal problems and become a lawyer when I’m 42.I watch as the lawyers I work with make 3x and 4x what I make. They have prestigious careers. I have a job that took over a decade of grinding to get.Some days I want to reach out to that feminist bitch from college and tell her how she screwed me up. But I have other problems beside her. It’s not all her fault.How bad am I doing?See the stock image I used? That’s sort of what I look like. Imagine that man as a partner in a law firm with a family and dignity, and a good spiritual foundation and respect for his aging parents. Now imagine that man as a paralegal who makes $145k, has debt, a drinking problem, deep deep shame about the past, and paranoia that people from the past will get him if he ever does anything with his life.
you dont seem like a loser besides getting bad rng, but try and get married before your hair falls out if you want kids or its over
Get a grip. You make more than 90% of the US. You're probably the top 1% of incomes on the whole planet. Go out and have sex, lawcel.
>>61358899My debt is keeping me down but I should have it paid off in 2 and 1/2 years when I’m 38. So for now I’m a single man with no family living in shoebox apartment. It’s funny you say this because in CA $145k seems broke. Attractive/educated women in San Francisco and LA generally think that $200k salary is like, “the guy is doing ok”. Like that is barely good enough.
>>61358899And by the way that is from 2019, before the inflation and income standards changed a lot.
>>61358907>>61358905Fair enough, still, have sex lawcel. If you have mental hookups from years ago then you should get a partner who can ease/erase those.
>>61358872you're alive, nominally healthy, and working on getting better. you're doing ok nigga, just keep on the straight and narrow and grind it out. it's a bitch with all of that wealth around you, but try not to compare yourself too much to other people. try to nurture an active social hobby or two outside of work, preferably something that doesn't expose you to gambling/drugs/drinking. I think that's why so many middle aged professionals get into cycling...maybe join run groups?>>61358922idk if having a partner really helps with that shit. it can be a fun distraction, but I've never dated a girl who didn't eventually add to the pile of problems I have. about 10 years ago I gave the fuck up. there are lonely moments but I'd say that I'm better off for it
>>61358872>At top undergrad former slutty girl I briefly dated finds Jesus/feminism and accuses me of S/A.you aren't a loser, you've simply had an extremely traumatic experience which society even denies is traumatic, the equivalent of being raped for a womanbeing accused of a sex offence is the worst thing that can happen to a man, some men have ended it immediately
>>61358872>makes 145k a year>criesfuck you retard how out of touch is this gay ass board lmao
>>61358959that's median for san francisco, basically treading water
>>61358990True, but a lot of stuff has the same price everywhere. If Americans weren´t consooming so hard I´m pretty sure you could save a good chunk of that salary. A Latvian consumes like 1/3 the same products as an American, Americans just do it more.
>>61358872How tf do you rack up 70k in debt gambling crypto? Yes, you are a loser by definition. You lost. Get over it and get some wins under your belt. Or just take a short vacay, get into nature, and realize that you are a part of something bigger than yourself.
Yes getting girl with you does improve your mental by a lot, you would say good bye to depression.
>>61358872>I will make like $145k with bonus>Feel sorry for me wah wah I'm not super rich
>>61358872You blame this girl. I don't care if she objectively ruined your life or if she just was a tiny headache. It doesn't matter and I don't care. The fact is that you are blaming her 10 years after the fact. You idly fantasize about some kind of a reckoning moment.You simply have not what it takes to make it. You have a [to grower types of people] perplexing loser and victim mentality. The game was rigged from the start. You can just hope you are gonna have an ok career.
>>61359064One of my biggest problems is paranoia. My psychology works like this. I am motivated by my ego to accomplish. I start to realize potential and have a vision (e.g. took the lsat and got into law school many years ago). I get motivated by grandiose ideas. Then I think that if I ever do anything big, this woman or someone else from my past will come back to get me and I will be defenseless. So it’s not like I’m a guy with zero confidence. But my paranoia stops me from taking the leap or spreading my wings. What do I do to fix at 35?
>>61359104You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded, OP. Actually you'd make a perfect lawyer.
>>61358872Could be worse. I'm 30, earn 70k a year, failed normie with only one ex from my early 20s that I still have dreams about, and the only asset I own is LINK.
You sound like you need to be heavily medicated.
>>61359124OP here. Please elaborate. What kinds of meds? What would be the benefit and potential outcome?
>>61358872Fuck that bitch.>got sober again>started lifting weights and running>now paying off debt>>61359120And fuck that bitch too. It's not the same as offering a titty pillow, but good work on making it this far.
>>61358872Pathetic, I'm 5' 9, ugly, bald, I'm successful, wealthy, have a girlfriend, have 2 properties paid off, constantly in demand for my services, you are a loser because you have gifts handed to you that no money can buy yet instead of appreciating that you are a little bitch crying about nothing
>>61359162Do NOT take meds. Alcohol compounds side effects, antidepressants are no better than placebo, PTSD can be worked out with EMDR therapy, benzos are a meme. That chick still a ho, somewhere in this world an anon is dedicating a prayer for you.>captcha JOY HA
>>61359173Thank you for your response. I mean it. It’s helping me reassess. What should I do? Should I pay off my debt then go to law school at 38? Should I switch roles? Should I try to be an actor or something with my good looks? Seriously, what should I do?Should I pay the debt and be happy as a paralegal making $145k and just max my 401k and index funds once I’m debt free? What moves or mental changes should I be making?
>>61359181I’ve looked her up. She got an MBA and is now married with a kid, who she gave an African middle name to even though she’s Asian and the husband is white. They live in a liberal town and she works at a big company doing some corporate compliance stuff that is part of a liberal agenda thing (like environmental initiatives). She seems to be respected and cares a lot about her image but still has the purple hair edge thing. She was on the cusp of going through big changes when we met back in college. She had been a huge slut and was just about to find Jesus/feminism. I was not in a good frame of mind but she is a smart/pathological manipulative person.
>>61358872>how do I unsubscribe from this blog
>>61359190Block and delete all her contacts. You don't need a pathological manipulator in your life.This is a facade, poor dude fell for the Asian tradwife, if anything, pity the kid of a future single parent. This Millennial "sucess" built on career women is doomed.
>>61359209She wasn’t exactly a trad wife. She as an American born slut, raised upper middle class with 20+ sexual partners. Probably a lot more. Then she tried to go good girl while also embracing her independence and respect-worthiness as a woman and edgy side. She found a super Christian liberal guy and they are big social media posters. From social media is appears they have this great life.
>>61358872~Anon forever~Anon, don't look back nowThat shining star beyond your reachIs the place where you belongCan you remember your childhood days gone by?You woke up with morning SunIt was warm, alive and funAnon! Don't look back Anon!Men are creatures that cannot cryThey just move forward... For tomorrow...For forever...!Anon, don't turn back nowThat twinkling stat is at the end of the universeAnon, your native planet, your homelandNever forget the vows of your childhood days gone byTake a vow on what's left of your youth and save this happinessAnon! Don't look back, Anon!Men are creatures that hide their loneliness...They just look towards tomorrow... Towards tomorrow...Forever
>>61358872>crypto gambling debtRetard
>>61359231Anon, read that last sentence again. I believe you have some worth and insight already inside of you, it's time to let it out, and a bad day can cloud your sight. It's ok to ask the Anomalous collective neuron, just don't abuse that.If you're American you probably saw that 2012 life, but it's 2025, that world is no longer a thing and we're in the middle of a paradigm change as big as WW2. How many of these liberals look like pic related?For anyone with the sensibility to lurk at this basket weaving forum, it's only a matter of time before these circles eat each other alive. I've personally seen the Hell brewing under these people.Trad Timmy is holding the bags, but not your monkeys, not your circus. Again, you have a job, and are halfway there in paying debt, and started taking care of your body.
>>61359272Thanks anon. Just one question, when you say how many of these liberals look like the pic, do you mean they don’t look as healthy as the pic? Because in that pic all those folks look really healthy and happy.
>>61359286>>61359286Sorry for not explaining it earlier, had a hunch here. I see Millennials longing for the bougie liberal life and feeling bad even when they have good things in their life except that good Facebook picture (and eww, only boomers stay there). I'm not sure /biz/ accepts söyboy caricatures.Reality is a bit worse, from real cases alone:>empowered woman still needs antidepressants because her company is a boomercore, regular office and not some hip place.>another empowered woman will leash out against younger women and her simps, while also hating herself for even looking at traditional men. That pride makes anyone under her authority miserable.>soft men so emasculated they troon out, on top of their usual self-castrating, self-deprecating routine.>self-proclaimed feminist men end up getting eaten alive by opportunistic bitches and other men in a spiral. Kids are raised with role models that encourage either parasitism or C-PTSD.>daughter becomes an accepting lesbian, ends up in a teaching job for a non-white, anti-LGBT class, estranged from family. Mom is devastated that she hates having kids herself.TL;DR: be free anon, long term it was a sinking ship. The party was nice and that, sucks to miss that, but the sooner you move on the better.(jannies range banned this IP due to "abuse", check meta thread >>61358750)
>all of these fictional stories conveniently ignore the covid 19 plandemic interesting
Think of your brain as a mix of good, constructive ideas that have gotten you this far and bad, destructive ones that could doom you. Your goal is now to root out the bad ideas, systematically. Start by reading Atomic Habits and other corny self-help shit that's popular because it honestly kinda works.
>>61358872>he fell for the height memeKikes did a number on you retards with this social media shit lmao
>>61358872shut up you faggot, i sell cars to fresh off the boat uber drivers and will make about 180k this year. im in 10th place at this dealership, around 10 people here will clear 200. they bvarely speak english. look at life a little differently anon. i ghosted the girl i lost my v card to in high school. just reached back out after ten years ago. made me realize that you must inflict pain on others in order to succeed. both of us ended up better in the long run. take the overman pill anon.
>>61358872not reading all that shit, sweaty
Go to law school. Study hard. You’re not doing bad but if you want to do better you can. Nothing is stopping you. No one is going to hand it to you, but you can earn it. Don’t know what else to say. It takes hard work to get where those lawyers are, but anyone can do it if they apply themselves.
Didn't readYes
>>61358872i think the problem is that you're spending too much time on reddit. that website burned all kinds of weird stuff into your brain, including hitting return twice at the end of each line. just don't go there anymore, so that you will learn that this is not a proper way to format text anywhere else and also heal your mental health issue.
>>61358872>What is a late bloomer?Stop gambling you idiot. Clearly you're bad at it and more failures will surely not help your existing mental issues.Resign yourself to the slow and steady approach in life. There's nothing wrong with not reaching top heights, full luxury and hot bitches everywhere as long as your happy anyway(you're also apparently decent looking, never underestimate how useful that is. In comparison i'm a fat hairy bastard working at an office, imagine how are my chances with women)Paranoia and fear plague your stupid life, and might always will. The best you can do is struggle and learn to live with them, maybe even transform them into something useful instead (adapt a "living on guard" lifestyle, hoard essentials, only apply for safe, slow investments). It won't make you as happy as you could be, but is better than the alternativeOptional: try to heal your family links, strictly without looking something in return beyond having someone close to talk and care about.
>>61358872>needs us to know about your looks height>needs to remind us multiple times it was a top undergrad>"mental breakdown"These stories have been the same on 4chan for nigh on twenty fucking years. I was a smart, good looking and tall guy but everything outside of my control went wrong. I'm in like the 90th percentile of household income in this country but muh debts from muh retarded decisions, muh drinking, muh sluts, muh existential crises. Shut the fuck up faggot.
>>61358872This isn’t your fucking diary, shithead.
>>61358872yes you are a liser op. first off youcare too much about stupid things, you have mental problems. you still think about your ex. you prob arent getting laid with girls worth a damn, without alcohol your life is worse. alcohol made you have fun times. you cope by being talll , but we all know its about facial harmony not height. ]keep coping faggot. also lawyers are fcuking stupid sacks of shit that hold america back im so sick of lawers running america.
>>61358872>I'm tall and good looking, got into a top school, and fucked the hot sluts in college>I was forced to get a cushy high paying 6 figure job>I'm such a loser and I failed at lifeThese threads are Chinese funded d&c psyops to demoralize Americans.
even assuming this isnt a reddit pajeet LARP, you ARE a loser because even at the advancing age of 34 you are basing success off rat race wageslavery moneymaking. The archons are laughing at you. Goyim like you obsessed with wage, status, and cars are what keep their system going as planned
As long as you stay sober, you won't have more (self made) problems. If you can't get your life together at +80k, money isn't the problem. The trick is to staying sober and killing off anything that takes that away from you. Some people are just all or nothing, momentum going somewhere it shouldn't can doom you for the next 5 steps you take.
>makes $145k as a paralegal at 35, outpacing 90 percent of Americans>is mad about some shit from 14 years ago>thinks making 2x or 3x more will solve his problemsLol, lmao even. I grew up in poverty and made every mistake possible in life. I make $80k a year at 30 in some white collar prison and am fully fine beyond some anxiety issues. Grow a pair dude, holy shit.
>>61358872You sound like a normie desu, I only think of you as autistic because you posted on 4chan
>>61358872are you a white?yes, you're a loser, according to every women alive and dead.good luck.
>>61358872Your story is quite grim. Ignore all the losers in this thread harassing you over the bit about making $145k. That was just a step above comfy in my MCOL area of Georgia 8 years ago. I can't imagine it feeling like much in a HCOL area like San Fran these days. If I was in your shoes, I'd focus on paying off the debts and squashing the drinking addiction. That probably means you need to see a psychiatrist and/or therapist to get over your demons.
>>61361030I make $80k in DC and save about half my income. If this dude can’t be happy on $145k in SF he’s NGMI.
