shit thread edition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kPbC7J1ekY
nth for the baddiedem
>>200037729So, this is spainmong
>>200037781she is very talented and cute x
>>200037798>>200037752
>>200037776Perhaps you could go outside and turn off the computer. You little freak.
>>200037776You got cucked lad?
why do I always feel less hungover after a poo and a wee? is it just alcohol-soaked shit sat there in my bowel like some forbidden enema?
Might just go out there and do that thing i've always wanted to do.
>>200037729Walked outside earlier and I saw this fat pasty faggot wearing dangly earrings just like this guy and I was disgusted. Not because he was gay, but because he was fat and reddit. If he'd looked butch I wouldn't have been disgusted. Nothing worse than an unattractive fat weak man.
>>200037844Ah yes, the Eddie & the Hot Rods School of Philosophyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK8pAfhC4Rk
>>200037729Vaush looking great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhWxR1Y8cPk
When I bought a home, Mumberg and Dadstein assisted by proving my inheritance ahead of time in the form of a large loan (so I essentially have two mortgages) on which they would waive interest. The idea is that, should I somehow lose half my assets in a divorce, I will have substantially less to lose.Now, some years later, Dadstein has raised the idea of no longer waiving the interest, so that they can provide "even more protection" by owning more equity. I know they have no sinister intent, but it does NOT sound like a nice idea.
>>200037854The blinding homoeroticism of this post is too funny. I repeat, everything about this website makes so much more sense when you realise it's all repressed/self-loathing homosexuals
Sometimes my flaccid penis sticks to my balls and then I accidentally piss all over my balls.Anyways good night /brit/
>>200037880don't understand any of this nonsense
>>200037729Is that Yik?
Can someone give me a quick rundown on Spaino?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhhLSlARodsDamnGrim
>>200037880next time you're chatting with your dad, bring it up, then while he's talking pretend to call someone and say it's your lawyer haha"actually there's someone i want you to talk to""who's that?""erm... *dialling* it's daniel... daniel goldblatt my lawyer HAHAHA LOOK AT YOUR FACE!!"
Why don’t you come on, come on, come on, come on and(Sniff a) sniff another little piece of my fart now baby(Whiff a) whiff another little piece of my fart I know you will(Have a) have another little whiff of my heart now babyYou know you’ve sniffed it, if you think it smells good
remember when twitter was good?
got an absolutely honking headache and sore throati don't feel so achy and tingly this morning though so that's good
remember when /brit/ was decent?
>>200037958>heartFucked it haven’t I?
twitter? i barely know her!
>>200037970Pray tell, how does a headache honk when it has no auditory capabilities?
>>200037999imagine something honking inside your headthat's what it's likeit was dead poetic
>>200037817that’s the fucking problem mate it gets worse every time I go outside endless swathes of African families with 10 kids. Should have seen the beach over the weekend
>>200038018Why are you telling porkies? Quite sad.
Shall be fine-tuning that post, making a few lyrical tweaks, and will repost it later when daytime /brit/ is up.
>>200038032>mass immigration isn't even happening!>but i can literally see it>yes? and that's a good thing, you're not racist are you??!?!>no but->it's not even happening!
fucking hell give it a rest boringlad
LIVERPOOL
yeah boringlad fucking kill yourself
boringpaedo making you fall asleep with his boringpaedo gimmicks so he can molest you
morning lads
>>200038181leftypol placing the ad below
wait why the fuck does southern england have palm trees
>>200038215Haha, I get it, lad. It's because he's probably gay. Top stuff
>>200038248some parts of the south east have tropical ecosystems
>>200038253eh?probably gay according to what exactly?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OY7bL451Hk
>>200038181>honorFOY
I've come from /cum/ to see what all the fuss is about
>>200037891reading gay into everything again are we, rorke?
(((They))) don't want you taking valium
1984. The first national conference of Women Against Pit Closures is held at Northern College.
americans stick out like a sore knob in the UK
>>200038384>some are wearing pantsa bit odd that
why do yanks always have colourless lips? is it the bleached chicken diet?
>>200038390tell me about the backwards cap
>>200038215>>200038181Scrombling
>>200038390could deck every single one of them all at once
just woke up haha
why don't you have any self-respect?
>>200038397hwy would that be odd?
>>200038577girls are supposed to wear skirts or dresses
>>200038589odd claim
>>200038595how's that odd?
>>200038623because women have worn trousers forever
turning 30 this weekchrist almighty
why are there so mant wogs out
>>200038639Since the mid-20th century only. Still odd.
>>200038677yes 1984 is after the mid 20th century
>>200038685It's quite odd. It simply doesn't suit them.
canadian skirt mong loves going on about skirts bloody hell you were yapping on about it last night too you dull bastard
>>200038745hes indian
At pub
I'm such a boomer I thought "ice spice" was a spice girl I'd forgotten
>>200038800drank 11 pints of ruddles once and it was the only time i've shit myself from being pissed
>>200038745>>200038778I'm not jeet! How dare you accuse me of such a thing!!!
>>200038800o-o-one mug of Ruddles please...
>>200038810woke up this morning and felt myself squeezing a stool out, then had a moment of wondering whether I was actually awake or dreaming and if I should just commit to laying the brick anywayanyhow I guessed I was awake, pulled her back in, went to the loo and had an explosive shit that lasted 25 minutes and required 6 flushes
God I feel heinous
>>200038800Gib me Abbot
gf telling me that hawk tuah girl is actually amazing because she saw a video of her saying she wants to use her 10 minutes of fame productively and went around buying stuff for dogs in animal shelterstold her thats the most obvious publicity stunt from her marketing team and now she's mad at me for being miserable, apparently i have to ruin everything
>>200038901>hawk tuah girlwhat is that
>>200038871find this hard to believeexplosive poos are usually wet and soggy, i highly doubt that would block the bogthe only poos which i have created which have blocked the bog are big fat logs, usually whole and very dense
>>200038945don't be so daft, the bog-blocker is the copious quantities of loo roll I need to clean my arsehole as a result of having explosive poosalso, my poos are always one or two big logs, then mushy stuff, then pure liquidhad a lot of food and alcohol yesternight so there was more of the different shits
>>200038983>the bog-blocker is the copious quantities of loo rollso you admit it has nothign to do with the poo
in the height of my opiate addiction i sometimes wouldn't/couldn't poo for a week at a time, remember one day i hadn't eaten for about 5 days and was starving so i went to the shop and they had boxes of chocolate brazil nuts on sale so i bought a bunch of boxes and scranned them all. didn't know they're actually toxic in large amounts and spent the next 24 hours violently unleashing on the toilet
>>200038999I'd like to see you argue that in court
Back at toil after a week off
>>200039057bet you get bullied for liking cartoons don't you haha
fuck youfuckyoufuckyoufuckyou
surely someone dropping out the presidential race isn’t THAT big of a deal? especially when it was inevitable
me in the back - billy no mates as usual
oh ok I'm no longer banned that's real cool so so sorry janny and the mods I will never post the former president's name on this board ever again I know posting his name is a "conspiracy theory" and only belongs on /pol/ or /x/thank you so much
>>200039007ok
mrs says we 'need' to start having children soon because she wants at least 4 kids and doesn't want to be an old mumwhy does it have to be what she wants and not what i want
>>200039007just take stool softener with every dose and every meal ffs
wish i had a loving wife or gf
So I am hearing noises of my neighbours having sex usually not hearing them but today I am like they are moaning and shouting like FUCK YES A A A A A and then speaking pretty loudly and repeat or something, I am in a flat but never really heard them do that before what should I do?
>>200039178only good about 25% of the time, generally you're better off alone
>>200039141why the fuck did you marry her if you didn't want to have children you ungodly piece of shit
i too would like to express my fondness for that particular beer
>>200039141ever shag her up the arse?
>>200039215freak
>>200039178>>200039215It’s only good if you are an aggressive dominant alpha male who beats his partner regularly and makes her live in fear. Only in that case the woman will be loyal and subservient to you. Want a happy marriage? Treat your wife like shit and beat her regularly, it’s in their DNA to enjoy it
>>200039204wank to it I guessthat's what I used to do
>>200039315*explodes*
the art of the fart
>>200039315>aggressive dominant alpha maleyou're saying it's only good for dogs to be married? some kind of sick slavic fetish?
Toil in t-7 minutes
>>200039411hates fags but screams with delight when i rearrange his guts lol x
gfberg is literally going to africa (south africa) for 2 weeks going to turn into a feral creature when away desu
bro why this bitch sit in the water like that lmao
whats the weirdest thing you've ever done
My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the rightIt’s my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
>>200039560your MUM lol
>>200039573wahey
*hyperventilates*
>>200039586*puts a bag over your face*
think dogbergs dying :(
>>200039573:/
howbout this joe biden business lads hey mad innit
>>200039631why
>>200039443Reckon she'll get blacked?
usually get a 40k bonus every year
>>200039663been acting different
>>200039705maybe hes had enough of you
>My name is Toby
got one of those horrible horrible poos brewingthe sort you can hear the poo gurgling from the outside of your belly
>>200039736might be pregnant
>>200039747only one getting pregnant round here is mousey (by me)
Haven't done a solid shit in weeksWorried I might have crohns disease
First sick day of 2024, quite ashamed really. Should have had about 3 or 4 already
>The star is a luminous blue variable, and one of the most luminous stars known, having a luminosity varying widely above and below 1,000,000 times the luminosity of the Sun, although it is too far away to be seen with the naked eye.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNGskCNrBHY
Big fan of Adolf Hitler personally
>>200039573Hilarious comment mate! got a good laugh out of me! Even made the wife chuckle! You could even call it skibidi as the kids say these days! Cheers for the UK
just created life
mad how the only house in my street with a messy garden is the black family's.
>>200039870heard will self once claim that he walked from lax to hollywood or some such as if it was some kind of big dealI've done that and more big fuck
>>200039993don't know who that is or how far that is
I reckon I need a job.
>>200040017LAX is an airport and the distance is 12.5 miles
>>200040028I reckon you need to go back to where you belong, foreign scum
>>200037729I loike Bri'ish memes
anyway what do you want strange peacock
how old were you lads when you had your first wank?
>>200040052I belong to MI6. UK is me 'ome, bruv.
>>200040104You’ve been asking this too much… gonna need to have a look at your hard drives if you don’t mind mate
Might become a sexting master.
school holidays next week
>Recently broke up with my boyfriend and decided to go on holiday. The travel agent recommend a location on India's east coast with a nice beach.>When I arrived I found myself a living nightmare. The first morning I went out to lie on the beach and I was accosted by at least thirty men ranging in age from 18 to 60. They surrounded me on the beach, took photographs of me, filmed me etc.>I ran back to my hotel room and was followed there by four of them. I locked the door and they knocked on it for several hours before leaving.
>>200039877not sure if you know but he's dead
>>200040048blocked a toilet in lax once with a very hefty pooberg after my week of big yankoid food portions
>>200040052Shut the fuck up you Starmer voting, Paki loving clown. You've stretched open your ass for migrants and refugees, you spit on native English, you have no self-respect and wish to see Britain destroyed by an unwashed streetshitting horde of subcontinentals, Muslims and blacks
>>200040171Speak for yourself mate, I voted Reform
chunks of radioactive poo flying out my arse
just got in from toil
great idea this
any reliable test to tell if you’re gay?
>>200040210Imagine doing a big eggy fart in there corr
penis phone
>>200040210>cheeky gun by the hatch based
>>200040210where do you go to wank in one of these?
>>200040254imagine you had to evacuate right after you’d had loads of spicy mexican food and processed cheese then having to do really slimy slippery liquid poos behind that tiny vanity curtain
>>200040210Where would the parents fuck and where the kids would masturbate?
just did a poo and looked down in the toilet to see it had a face and was looking up at me going "dada... dada"
>>200040017if you're the one who posted that video and you don't know who will self is then I don't know what to tell you
>>200040333Wtf lad
carmela harris
2 days of nofap. Gonna lose it in 2 hours.
Imagine Emma Watson is sitting on your face when all of a sudden you hear and feel a big, rumbling fart, and a second or two after that, the smell hits you like a ton of bricks. That would be quite the sexual experience.
another sad day of my miserable life
>>200040353
>>200040370Yeah take it to /rus/ mate
oh janny janny you are a naive little nigger aren't you? i simply shall avoid the bans and yes i will continue to use the word nigger
>>200039141Transgender post
did a big wank to sabrina carpenter last night probably a bit noncimus maximus given she’s like 4’11
weird autistic australian who talks about poos and impregnating mousenonce probably a fag too
>>200040370ktim but we go again
just fucking realised i booked this week of work back in january and not next week when i have hotels and stuff booked fucking HELL im such a SPACKER
>>200040298underneath the floor
you shouldn't be afraid to use the nigger word, infact you should embrace it
anyone remember the lunchables meme?
>>200039141Have sex and save your kingdom, chud.
>22 degrees>cloudy>light drizzleTHIS is anglo summer you can keep your sunny 30 degrees and shove it up your paki arse
rolling around on my back making nigger noises
Labour rounding up the immigrants
>>200040708woah based labour
>>200040708when does canzuk happen tho
>>200040708yeah but they'll just claim to be gay and therefore at risk of persecution back home then we'll u-turn and give them a free house and bennies for life
>>200040708*nothing happens*
>>200040708The Tories will do that here. I hope.
>>200040762just send them back to france.
>>200040118very interesting
>>200040708Churches report a surge in baptisms from migrants
>>200040762That's the Tory policy lad
>>200040835Tories don't sound very conservative...hmmm....
>>200040819
Erm
tfw you're still drunk/high from the night before
>>200040988couldn't just let /brit/ die could you
>>200040988What is it, lad
Just realised I might buy a console controller so that I can play Fallout 4 the way the lord intended
>>200041035can't post that
clock...in...my...head*licks lips*clock on...the walland the two...of...them, wellthey don't agree at all*smacks lips* he he HEE he he not...one...bit
Limmys on one again
>>200041035least schizophrenic mosuenonce post
Why is /v/ like this?
>>200040708>car washes>nail bars>salonsSo basically deport the ones that are working and causing no harm to anyone? LolNice one UK
>>200041080/v/ is unusable, mate
>>200041080huh?
>>200041092theyre not paying any tax but still taking from public services and infrastructure. think before posting next time
>>200041092
>>200040708Add to the list>Turkish barbers>Turkish restaurants>Dessert restaurants (no idea what you'd call them)>American sweet shops>>200041092They're well known for being hotspots for 'modern slavery'
never thought it’d hurt this bad so just end it tbqh
go after deliveroo sick of the town centre being full of somalis on bikes with stupid looking bags on their backs
Could never cheat on my wife because I know I'd embarrass myself by cumming in like 5 minutes like I usually do.
>>200041080like what?
>>200041140Should have used sun cream you mong>>200041141They're all foreigner and probably all illegal. Norwich is full of hundreds of the cunts.
>>200041115Yeah righto mate, I’m not caught up with the latest daily mail stories sorry about that Cock
>>200041157you're telling me there's a cream made of the sun?
>>200041140absolute fucking statenever even burnt my legshow the fuck do u only manage tro burn your legsmust be utterly bizarre having sunburnt legs
>>200040210*fills the septic tank up in 3 days*
>>200041140Christ mateA little gust of wind and you’d blow right overGet in the fucking gym
I go Thairand see radyboy
>>200041157yeah not shit >>200041171having a dip in the ocean and then sat around for a good 3 hours without shade does that to you
>>2000411445 minutes is average
>>200041144Can't cum with a condom me so I last forever
>>200041229kek next you'll tell us 6 inches is big
>>2000412295 minutes? fuck off lolget a load of minuteman here
>>200041199>good 3 hoursancient gimmick
no evolutionary advantage to taking longer to ejaculate. we're meant to cum quickly. why is it a man's responsibility to ensure a woman gets off during a shag?
>>200040210Reminds me of the titan sub
>>200041256that's not a gimmick
>>200041244;_;
LeftAsia pre-European migration of 2025RightAsia post-European migration of 2025
>>200041276this has been debunked
>>200041256the gimmick is 2 hours you fool
>>200041275fuckin crocodile dundee over here
>>200041270Most women can't get off from vaginal penetration anyway
>>200041288absolutely notit's the best way to heal a burnhave fixed many a burn by sitting with my hand in a bowl of ice water for two hours
>>200041282ping pong that ain't normal
>>200041270beta
>>200041292Didn't ask
>>200041304have you ever had sex?
>>200041330and yet you were still told. curious
>>200041336Yeah
>>200041314I'm still distraught only a single picture of Ava is publicly available and by now she's probably too old and fat if we found her
leftypol watching youtube video essays
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/07/20/severe-autism-can-be-reversed-groundbreaking-study-suggests/>autism can be reversed by just eating healthily So turns out if you freaks just left your smeggy bedrooms and laid off the frey bentos you'd be alright
chipsandpeasandgravy
I'm not convinced women enjoy sex other than emotionaly
*monotone virgin voice*I'm not convinced women enjoy sex other than emotionaly
>>200041362this has been known for yearsall the parents who actually care about their autistic children put them on strict gluten free low sugar low inflammation diets
*melodious chad voice*I'm not convinced women enjoy sex other than emotionaly
No thirdies allowed (except for you Chile and French Guyana)
Imagine have a child and it comes out a spacker, I would be fucking devastated
>>200041379the last couple of women ive had sex with have all enjoyed choking and stuff like that. it’s turning me into a psychopath
>>200041423aye, condolences to your parents
>>200041420autism is a wonderful thing
>>200041420*rushes out to buy an 80 plasma and 7.1 surround in time for the premiere*
>>200041423spackers tend to have ‘accidents’ in their younger years, you know, try and try again innit
>>200041423Worse. Imagine if it was a girl. Then again a girl. And again. Then 6 years later they're still girls.No man could cope with that.
>>200041450were a girl*hypothetical, subjunctive mood
>>200041430>choking*chocking
>>200041420Fucking hell just had a look at his channel and he sits watching a whole cycle and narrates it. There are loads of these autism channels on youtube, I found one a while ago into hand driers.
I'm not convinced men enjoy sex other than as some sort of bizarre perverse ego flex
>>200041474no, it's choking
>>200041423yeah must be grim. luckily I won't be having children or even having sex so I don't have to worry about that. incels winning for once
>>200041450I wouldn't want a girl because you know they'll just be influenced by brainless women regardless of how you try to raise them and will end up doing psychology and working in HR.
>>200041484have sex and save the kingdom incel
checking
>There are loads of these autism channels on youtube, I found one a while ago into hand driers.like moths to a flame....
shant be wanking this week
>>200041501kek there must be a reason youtube will recommend them to me
rorke getting sauce stains on the corners of his mouth when he eats spaghetti
>>200041483But I only asked for a slap!
>>200041475Yeah some very odd people, he made a very long post on instagram tagging this influencer>Always wanted to meet Kaci because she’s been an inspiration to me to start vlogging and thus giving me a reason to start my own channel.>starts a channel where he sits and watches washing machine cycles
>>200041523kek true
>>200041475there's one lad who does plastic chairs and one who does elevators too, think i posted them here
Mad how people moan like shit about FIFA and CoD and other annual release games but continue to buy them like retards
do women want a man who can hop on them ride them for 15 seconds empty the slogger inside them and hop off? do i have a chance?
My sister won't get off the PS5. It's over for me
The more I think about it the more I think we should have just let COVID let rip. The benefits would have been astronomical. Take this image, most these cunts would have died so we won't have to waste money caring for them. That's more money for the rest of us
>>200041573think it’s over for you lad you ought to sort it out and pack it in
>>200041596The people we 'saved' from COVID have probably all died of old age by now
>>200041573no they want a man like me who can't get erect so tugs at his willy trying to get hard but makes himself cum in the process
something bad will happen today
>>200041573I think you can get pills to treat premature ejaculation
>>200041629why would i want to treat something that isn't broken?
>>200041623Croatian War of Independence 2.0
looool britain is a shitholehttps://youtu.be/XChqhGgbryY?si=A-ECrN62ufboXh23https://youtu.be/vry5deT8lc0?si=4NBXq5tGNTlrjBEZ
I remember worrying about premature ejaculation and it turns out my years of porn addictions gave me the exact opposite. Literally can't finish inside a woman
>>200041640pardon?
>>200041664What is it with leftists getting off on hating their own country? It's bizarre.
thinking about made up words like lustrocity and maken, perhaps garr even
you got any jelly donuts?NAAAAAH WE'RE OUTTA JELLY DONUTS
>>200041714Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe
>>200041648unless it's entirely localised inside my arse then no
>>200041725sexcellent
>>200041596>implying lockdowns saved anyone
come to my arms my beamish boy
>>200041708it's a russian bot
6789998212
I missed it what was it>>200000000
>>200041793kekanime site confirmed!
Uhhh gonna need a new???
>>200041893>>200041893>>200041893
