finished off a bottle of champagne at half 7 edish
Bit early but I'll allow it
rorke putting his piggy bank in the hotel room safe
looking a bit rough
That’s JD Vance’s daughter?
posting feet should be a bannable offence
Mogged
reckon i could take every woman in the world in a fight
>>222441368This guy is an absolute vile slob
another fucking one of those poos where i could literally wipe all morning and there’d still be shit on the toilet paper just so sick of it man
Mentally comparing my living conditions to that of a medieval peasant in order to feel lordly and luxuriated instead of grim and grotty which is what I am compared to my contemporaries
>>222441400
>>222441406i feel my mongrels with meat from kangaroos which i killed myself
JD Vance doing a JD Dance
>>222441412I just got wipe it off with my hand at the tap. Put handwash on my hand, keep the tap running, and clean it off under the tap. Rinse and repeat. The key is to wipe as much shit off with toilet paper first.
wish 4chan let you upload smells (responsibly) because i think the bathroom smells like burning plastic but need someone to confirm it
>>222441412when that happens i just get in the shower and give my ringpiece a proper cleansing
>>222441412I have those. And those where you think you’ve finished, wipe, get up and you need to poo again
>>222441424indian detected
Canada is our greatest ally
>>222441399no
>>222441434I keep having those ones where you strongly suspect there's another one hiding in there so you wait for it to show its face so you can push it out but it just stays up there testing your patience
>>222441445Filthy bog goblin
>>222441438Not Indian or brown.
>>222441417but that medieval peasant would still likely do better than you if he were transported into the modern day
>>222441452You just know shes on the prowl for BWC because shes full of self hatred for being half jeet
What happened to the Masie posters?
>>222441419literally so gross
>>222441465you are spiritually indian then
>>222441430i can smell it. try eating more fibre and fresh pineapple
Eight in the morning on a lovely Friday, and some grown men, the best and brightest of Britain, are talking about wiping poo from their arsesLord, give me strength!
>>222441474He wouldn't have a clue. He'd blow himself up trying to work the gas hobs.
>>222441479there was only the one and i'm pretty sure he moved on and got a job and a life
so you can tell me now the reason why a 27 year old man would marry a 33 year old womanI need this information from /brit/
anyone got any biscuits
>>222441496I just don't want a shitty arse mate.
>>222441497>>222441481thank you for supporting the american dry pet food industry and keeping towns like Clinton, Iowa afloat
>>222441511So he can call her mommy. I used to have a older gf but she was only a year older so the mommy thing kinda brushed off her.
>>222441516Just had the last one. If you'd asked five minutes ago...
lynch dune mogs dunc btw
>>222441497i don't poo in the bathroom my toilet and bathroom are separate unitsthe toilet in my flat is a little cubicle about 1x1
>>222441519then just get in the shower and wash your arse properly instead of purposefully getting shit all over your hands you weirdo
>>222441508
>>222441551I can't go shower every time I have a shit mate.
Might neck a load of L-tyrosine to give my dopaminergic system a kick up the arse so I can motivate myself to get a cold shower. It'll have to fight off all the 5-HTP I took earlier to boost my serotonin but such are the struggles of a biohacker
>>222441521your numbers might be out of date. we don't even have american liquor up here anymore since the trade dispute
>>222441544you son of a bitch
>Nestlé Purina’s Davenport factory has reached a global company record, producing enough pet food to feed 10 million dogs and cats a year
>>222441519>>222441551you can just spit on the toilet paper to make your own flushable wet wipes
i always have a slightly pooey arse. that's just something i have to accept
The towel I put on my computer chair to absorb fart and bollock sweat is having a VERY bad day today
slit my wrists on a cross i fucking hate god and all you bitches are nothing im a fucking god
>>222441591Doubt that will work. Thinking about getting a bidet though.
>>222441596Has to be done though, its purpose is a worthy sacrifice
>>222441550always thought it was a cute idea to have the toilet separate from the bathroom. why would your bathroom smell then, something to do with the heating? or do you have neighbours attached?
>>222441589that symbol or logo on the tower looks aesthetic
>>222441449We love dogs
>>222441604It'll get rotated into the dirty laundry eventually. I'm thinking boil wash this time
>>222441579
>>222441603you get your paper a bit wet and it wipes better. try it.>>222441605it's handy for letting someone shower while someone else is in the toilet.i think it could be either the boiler about to go on fire or my neighbours. the upstairs neighbour installed his vent wrong so we get the smells from his flat all the time in there.
wish i could live under the floorboards of a pub in a little alcove and no one knows i'm there
isle of dogs
>>222441579why did turmp have a mega melty and forsake canada anyway
almost a week without porn or wanking
only for the hardcore uk raver
>>222441634Well done. Has there been any noticeable changes as a result would you say?
>>222441626Tried it. Wet toilet paper just falls apart when you wipe and then bits of it get stuck around your arse.
>>222441630he totally fucked it. they won't buy our dogfood im going to fucking kill myself
>>222441634noporn is very good but not wanking is pointless and unecessary
>>222441648Probably too early still, but it is a nice feeling knowing that I don't behave like a grim little goblin when I'm at home anymore, at least for the time being
>>222441656you're not supposed to soak it. just lightly dampen the spot that touches your hole
I spit on my toilet paper when it's necessary, perfect amount of moisture
>/brit/>yank OPsort it out
>>222441674That is not enough when you've had a proper sloppy sticky massive shit mate.
>>222441672Yeah I reckon it must give a boost to the old self esteem. I remember when I had a sex arse and after using that I'd feel like the opposite of how you feel after having sex with a woman. Just don't want to face the world knowing how embarrassing your gooning is.
rorke making a crude phallus out of oak planks on the brit minecraft server because he thinks it’s funny leftypol carefully crafting a meticulous totem to bbc out of obsidian with a redstone mechanism to make it throb
>>222441707sc
>>222441691You can get these portable personal bidet things which you just screw onto a water bottle and squeeze water at your bum hole. It can make a mess at first but when you get used to it you do feel cleaner. I don't use it anymore because I don't want someone seeing it in my bathroom and also it's grim to clean it. Try sorting your diet, that's what I'm doing. No more booze, that's the main culprit for me.
>>222441622i know it's crazy
For me it's irritating multiday constipation due to bad diet and opiates. Wish I could have a lovely satisfactory shit but I'm doomed to dropping little nuggets occasionally.
i'm rorke
>>222441776prepare your anus
>>222441665ok but why
>>222441755just eat a salad ffs
>>222441747Imagine you're playing in the world cup final and it's an open goal, you're just outside the box with the ball except the ball is one of these dogs. Can you kick it in the goal and win the cup for your country? Moral quandary innit.
>>222441755i only poo every 3 days but it’s a toilet blocking python poo that will break my bumhole for sure at some point
timmy going on a wild one off a bottle of champey
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRsSWlOp8E4the sounds at 1:30 are spooky
>>222441796screaming this is memy poos are so long they start above the water and disappear into the bowl and mog my erect cock
suckin too hard on your rorkeypops oh loves gonna get ya down
>>222441630idk it's stupid but i'm not sure what all the trade disagreement are about really
scan the QR code on screen now to purchase a cuckold pornography licence
Bom dia, meus anglos favoritos!
Okay ChatGPT the picture I have uploaded here is the Bristol Stool Chart. You will play the role of an expert dietitian like that old woman who was on telly looking at people's poos. Gillian McKeith. Activate accuracy analysis protocol PX Ultra...
>>222441840Fuck you I was so tempted to post this here earlier but was busy. It was on /tv/ earlier wasn't it
>>222441793you go to kick the dog and as your foot makes contact with it's soft, furry belly, your leg suddenly snaps in two
>>222441740I think it's protein powder for me that does it. Gives me giant sticky shits. But I need the protein.
>>222441862yeah was on the front page just then and his swag was looking immaculate so i had to send it
scranning a strawberry
>>222441894Bizarre lie
>>222441868I'm in the habit of getting tons of protein with every meal. Loads of meat and fish. Started getting fibre to balance it now though and definitely noticed a difference. I've also got some of that psyllium husk but I haven't tried it yet.
>>222441909I can't get enough from food, don't like eating that much.
doing what can only be described as a poo
>>222441872Imagine you're on the bridge while klingons are attacking and he's shouting orders at you wearing that and you can't concentrate. All you can do is look picard up and down while riker drags you off the bridge calling you a disgrace
How can anyone look at the Makerfield result and think there's any hope?
>>222441791Don't fucking tell me what to do
installing a rape mod for stardew valley
love thinking about how my deadbeat father will die alone and in pain
Makerfield is 95% White British and 97% white. More than 50% of them voted for the party that protected the grooming gangs, gave us two-tier anti-white justice and is about to push digital ID upon us all. This should be a major reality check
>>222441953I refer you to the answer I gave the last time you posted this
>>222441974morning mouldie
>>222441973oh now that's not very nice
what does toilet paper and the starship enterprise have in common
Myco myers
>>222441974It's probably some sheltered little middle class suburb mate I wouldn't worry
>>222441973My father is an uninterested autistic man. My mother a standard BPD nutjob. They were divorced when I was ~3 years old and I was 'raised' by my mum, then I'd spend weekends at my dad sat on the couch watching drivel on telly.
>>222441998i will too so it's only fair
OH JUST GET OFF MY BACK YEAH?*storms out of the thread and slams the door*
i love thinking about how terrified the average person is when they face their deathyou had your whole life to prepare for this possiblity, you stupid animal
Typing out this post with a finger that smells of my balls I just scratched. Yes I smelled it and can confirm this finger does indeed smell like my sweaty ballsack.
>>222441999Poo stain
>>222442053Wholesome. Thanks.
>>222442053why cat and rabbit are friends
>>222441999They've both faced klingons?
>>222442053three weeks later cabbits are born
>>222442073Cats not allowed to eat it because of woke
>>222441974People will vote for the bigger, more established parties, media supported parties, most of the time. The average person doesn't really think deeply about it. They just vote for what they know.
>>222442063>>222442076they both circle uranus looking for klingons
>>222442073thats me and rorke, we're good friends
... breakfast wearing my excellent glasses watching Led Zeppelin Earls Court 1975 on utube on my tv via sky stream in home …
>>222442097In the actual Star Trek TV shows and movies, the USS Enterprise has never looked for Klingons around Uranus. By the time Starfleet was founded, Uranus was deep inside the safe, peaceful core of United Earth and Federation territory. If Klingons ever made it that close to Earth undetected, it would mean Starfleet's border defenses had completely collapsed!
Reckon I'm gonna end up like Clarkson dying prematurely of bum cancer because I didn't have the regular doctors finger up the bum we're supposed to have apparently.
wanking to some extremely graphic imagery from japan
>>222442125Well said
>>222442053cheeky chinaman looking at this and thinking starter and main course
>>222442122Is he really watching Zep? Respect if he is
>>222441974The Reform candidate was shit. There will also be people who voted Burnham to get rid of Starmer.
Rorke's new girlfriend
get the fallout 3 sex mods installed, get the little lamplight discovered
>>222441845It's an eel eat eel world
>>222441445
>>222442180hnnnng
>Makerfield>Restore party>6.8%
>>222442195
>>222442224Good post
>>222442125oh i see. damn, how embarrassing for me
>>222442217He who laughs last, laughs best.
>A 47-year-old schoolteacher with no diagnosed illness paid more than £10,000 to die at a Swiss suicide clinic – which then kept his death a secret from his family.>Chemistry teacher Alastair Hamilton told his parents he was visiting a friend in Paris when instead he was flying to Basel in Switzerland to end his life by lethal injection.why did he do it
>>222442259Wee Jimmy krankie looking rough these days
>>222442259i look like that
any u lot seen Joe Waller recently?Guy has full on lost it religious psychosis
>>222442266Probably preferable to going to Paris these days am I right?
>>222442266With a face like that I'd do it too.
>>222442266Because he’s a coward. As are all men who commit suicide
Got my blood pressure tested
>>222442241大根
>>222442259is that baby bowser
>>222442289I have no idea what good / bad BP numbers look like.
>>222442289what happens if you put your willy in a blood pressure machine
>>2224422892nd one is just a teensy bit high. Honestly wish that was my blood pressure.
Okay that's enough fannying about. Time for that shower. Maybe.Odds shower Evens more /brit/
hi rorkey
>>222442290
>>222442311That was because I'd walked up to the doctors, had coffee and I talked during the measurement lol. Think it's okay overall
>>222442323holy shit
>>222442323he cant keep getting away with it
>>222442314Result
It's over, he knows
>>222442355Prove it
>>222442288Suicide is a rational choice when your situation is hopeless.
>>222442365
>>222442372It’s a cowardly choice for cowards. At least rob a bank or something before you go. Pathetic
Topping yourself is just as likely to be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Things are never so bad that they can't get worse and self-destruction never helps with any other situation. You have to be certain there's no afterlife to take that step, and you just can't be. The evidence for reincarnation is just too strong if you read the scientific literature.
they fucked with me subliminally
Fuck it. Shower, laundry, bins out. Has to be done.
>>222442372actually the best option is alcoholism or some other cool addiction. life is very tolerable if you can get fucked up at the end of the day until the end where you either die very painfully or you zoom off to switzerland for the virgin injection or to vegas for the chad spend everything then go to gun range and blow that nigga (your own) head smoove off
*walks really slowly down the road taking up the whole path looking at tiktok on my phone*
State
>>222442300120/80 is high end of normalsometimes mine gets above that when i'm sick or rushing to the doctor
we at /brit/ say well done to canada for their historic victory
If reincarnation is real i'll probably be a pig i think that would be fair. A lot of you will probably be sloths. Gyaldemposters will likely become those male angler fish that fuck the female and then fuse to the side of her body, eventually becoming completely consumed. Diego will of course be a leech.
ummypops
>>222442522what about emmayank and sacked tranny and ziedy?
rorke avoiding looking at his face on the self checkout camera
Midsummer's eve today and I've got no plans, no invitations. Have no idea what to do today
>>222442543emmayank will be a dung beetle sacked tranny will be an earthwormziedy will be one of those wrens or something that gets cucked by cuckoos into raising something elses chicks
why are my poos so hard ffs i had loads of fibre yesterday and this morning i nearly tore my arsehole trying to shit out a rock solid log
>>222442289Pretty much same as mine including heart rate
>>222442555leftypol making funny faces at the next checkout
leftypol looking at the self checkout camera and thinking he passes as a woman staff member saying thank you sir as he leaves
>>222442497>>222442311The different levels are based on RESTING blood pressure. If you're rushing or have just been walking, you can't use those to see how you are doing. You need to be sat down for at least 10 minutes for it to be a valid reading
Happy Diego Day!!!
>>222442583Fibre dehydrates you, if you're dehydrated and eat a lot of fibre you'll shit out a stone
first night off the booze yesterday in 3 years. slept like arse my brain was actually scared to go to sleep it kept jerking me awake in a panic for hours i think it didnt understand going to sleep sober and thought i was dying
>>222442604sc
>>222442618ah fair enough i did drink a quarter litre of brandy and several ciders over the course of the day without a single glass of water
>>222442628wasnt that funny
USA vs. Australia later so we can watch that
>>222442655
>>222442522pretty accurate yeah reckon id be a worm or slug though
>>222442610well yh thats why said it's higher when i'm rushing to the doctor or sick
in old books they always have a "handle" of whiskey and a "carton" of cigarettes
Rupert Lowe making sure Reform never wins an election ever again LOL
>>222442659which team is better i hope australia wins and the crowd goes feral and they all start killing yanks
He looks too soft to be a world leader. Nibba was born with eyeliner.
Bought a Nintendo Switch and have LITERALLY only ever used it for watching youtube. Guess I'll have to buy a PS5 for the sole purpose of playing GTA VI because Rockstar has a hateboner for PC masterrace.
>>222442704They started development over a decade ago and even if they had realised the PC market is now huge it would have been too late to make it cross platform especially with the RAGE engine.
>>222442659Terrible kick off time for Australian fans
>>222442687USA are better but the Aussies can do them yeah
Lads it's 2026, acting like you're above enjoying football isn't impressive anymore Get a new gimmick
powerful
Why did they stop making a Nintendo Wii? They could make something like that but even better with VR nowadays
>>222442723That's literally the best time to watch football. Imagine waking up and you can start drinking and it's socially acceptable.
more of a baseball fan myselfsoccer is just 90 minutes of boredom
jesus fucking CHRIST
>>222442734he must be gay no way a man does that
>>222442734>you are my best friendcringe
when did you get in?
>>222442790shorting everywhere
>>222442774stop whingingat least it gets cool at night
black coffee is yucky
Algeria has released goth gfs version 1
called gfberg "muffin cake" and she grimacedthink this relationship's done
>>222442655axewAMIFN
got some sort of fungal infection on my chest
fungus mentioned
you think katherine middleton ever calls her husband willy?"oi willy, put your willy away"and the like
>>222442812trialled calling the gfberg 'kitten' recently and she didn't really react so I guess we're good
i am the fungus
>>222442420>evidence for reincarnation is just too strong if you read the scientific literature.Proof?
>>222442811Neither of them are actually goth.
