Just because these ladies are past their prime doesn't mean we shouldn't love them any less!
Lovely COUGARS
>>46540855Begone haggies.
I like to imagine that all the hags are at least 2 meters tall.
>>46540921Imagine a 2.5 meter tall cakehu, self-concious of her impending hagification.
>>46540778How many hags are there?
>>46540985an amount
>>46540946I would donate my life savings to Aya if she gave me those sacred garmentsI'm not proud of it, but I would do it anyway. The impending violent death once lady Kazami finds out where they ended up would be no payment at all compared to the bliss I would get from owning them for even a short amount of time.
>>46541075Isn't, for instance, Aya a hag?
>>46540778Too old for me
I wish we could talk about these 2hus without everyone brainlessly spamming "hag" and about how old they are the entire fucking time. It's all so tiresome.
Pick a hag
>>46541262Well be the change you want to see. So let’s start now.What would you like to talk about with them?
>>46541331About sex.. with the old elderly woman.
Isn't Ran 8-900yo? "Hag" which is short for "Haggard" means looking exhausted and unwell, especially from fatigue, worry, or suffering."Hag" doesn't really fit any of the girls. Maybe Chiyari? Maybe you are just requesting a thread about the characters with the greatest longitivity or the ones that visibly look the most mature?
>MMD Ranfag
>>46541388
>>46541383 just old wimmins.
Then many of the girls fit that criteria relative to the human lifespan.
>>46541398
>>46541343Peepee into mature vagoo?
>>46541476>AND JAM IT IN!
>>46541517Ouchies!
>>46541275Left: 21 years oldRight: 10.000+ years old
>>46540778Excuse me all these ladies are 17
>>46543405Oh they're 17 something alright, but it's not years.
>>46543411Don't say that you're making me cry
>>46543405...inches?
>>46541262This. Especially considering that the idea of some kind of passing prime doesn't really apply to immortal beings. >>46541331I would honestly just love to ask them their life story and go from there. Like what is it like to be an actual god? An immortal buddhist magician? A ghost princess? The former smartest person on the Moon, now immortal? A being of vast power that can change "boundaries", whatever that means?
>>46543439I personally would ask them for general life advice sense all of them probably have experience when it comes to living
>>46540778CURSE YOU ZUNCURSE YOU FROM STRIPPING AWAY BYAKUREN OF HER CAPEONE OF THE BEST DESIGNS IN THE FRANCHISE FUCKING RUINEDCURSE YOU AND YOUR BLOODLINE
>>46543660You don't sound okay
>>46543741Im not okay, Im fucking PISSED.
There is no need to be upset.
>>46543439who do you think has the best life story? I'd like to hear Yukaris
>>46544034NO ANON, you don't know what you're doingAll she's going to do is talk about Renko and how similar you both are
>>46544034"You see Anon, about two thousand years ago I wa—""Wow that was a long time ago! Did you see any dinosaurs?""…"
>>46540778Can she join?
>>46543439I'd like to hear Eirin's stories about her past experiments on the Moon."When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!"
>>46544452At least you won't have to worry about her keeping the kid if you knock her up
>>46544452No, she sucks.
>>46544535What the hell do you mean, "if"?
>>46544034That would be the most interesting if she was willing to tell it. But I think even if she liked you she would be really cagey about or just make up some bullshit about her Merry life.Yuuka wouldn't have some grand narrative but she'd likely have a lot of interesting stories to tell, and probably not much of a filter.
>>46544452I can fix her
>>46544452the forbidden hagthe "18" year old
>>46544542Whose cock?
the taste of booze and smoke
>>46545181my heart skipped a beat... maybe the ancients were right... maybe tanuki sex is the option...
>>46545301Tanuki sex is never the option. Don't fall for their tricks.
>>46545181Reeks of smoke and booze. Her biohazard of a tail is so stiff she can sit on it, it's stuffed with funk, grime, sweat, body oils, and whatever garbage she swept up off the ground with it. Standing near her for any length of time is enough to make you gag. When she's not blackout drunk she's insufferable and condescending, yet she lacks confidence as evident by her """disguise""" which further reflects on the poor quality of her character. Truly she is the poster child of everything wrong with Tanuki if you needed a reason to hate them, her compulsive need to lie and deceive is just icing on the expired christmas cake. Stop pretending to be sagely and get exterminated already you wrinkled tramp.
>>46545181Bet I can outdrink her.
you think it's the good type of stink or is she on the same level as that rancid chupacabra?
>>46540778>past their primeWith all due respect sir, I think your opinion is wrong and smell of canine feces.Those perfectly mature ladies are in their prime!t. mature ladies enjoyer
>>46545492She smells like a slaughterhouse with a hint of woodsmoke, but maybe she takes dips in rivers or lakes sometimes. Also has a muff like the back end of a deer.
>>46545651God yesShe's perfect
>>46544586hope you like talking about flowers
When I accidentally call her Mommyzou
>>46544586"Want to hear about that time I beat up Satan? It was pretty cool, I even got a cute maid out of it. A pity that I didn't need one, but it was still the best fun I've had in a while."And then she goes into graphic detail on how she hurt all the makai people she found, deliberately ignoring the growing uncomfortable atmosphere around her because she's standing between you and the exit.
>>46548490
>>46545466Good thing Ran always washes and grooms her fluffy tails!>>46545476Anon, it's a trap! She's pretending to be black out drunk! When you get close enough she's doing to drain you!
>>46548490"Are you an idiot...?""What's the fun in teasing this old hag..."
Bake bread with Yuuka. Put a bun in her oven!
>>46548944Teasing?
>>46545492She'll smell like Shrek's Asshole.Depending on who you ask, that may be a good or bad thing.
>>46545181>>46545466I never paid too much attention to that tanuki, but these posts make me think otherwise as I am a sucker for sinfully smelly women who are into trickery.
>>46549007Plant wife and bug daughter
>>46544198
>>46540778A young man enters the bar during Hag night , who gets to him first ? Do they do it based on seniority or is it first come first serve ?
>>46558587Whoever rapes him first
>>46558587Excuse you it's "Girls Night" and we would let him draw near and whoever wins him over with their maidenly charm wins.
Hag feet
>>46559330Get off 4chan, Yukari.
>>46559379What about them?
>>46559478I love them, way too much
these fine young ladies had a little too much to drink
>>46559330Okay but do you girls have an agreement on which one of you gets to 'charm' him first.
>>46559494Same…
>>46544198Anon, no! That's one of her special interests!Now you'll be stuck with her all day as she tells you everything she knows about the fucking stegosaur or something.
>>46560642I'm going to die!
>>46560642Hello ladies
>>46561724
For me it's Mamizou and Yukari, I want to be taken by the pair of them.
>>46560642I mean Byakurens already naked and pouring sake all over herself so I think I got a chance.
>>46563678You're going to be sore for weeks.
>>46563689Buddy I ain’t surviving the night, nirvana awaits from inside those immortal thighs
I sometimes think about how terrible getting older must be for a hag enjoyer. I can only imagine the slow pain of seeing yourself become the same age as the women you once lusted after for their age and experience, and eventually seeing them become younger women too.I know this doesn't exactly apply the same way to supernatural hags but the physical difference in appearance is still there.
>>46564045I'm over here trying to enjoy some nice ladies why did you have to get all philosophical and ruin the mood ?
OLD HAGS WARNING WARNING
>>46564120Very rude to say that about them. How do you think they feel about being called hags ?
>>46560642My penis would be passed around them like a blunt rotation and I wouldn't have it any other way.
They call me Hagalicious esquire. I am a professional in dealing with Ample Mature Ladies.
>>46564094It weighs heavy on the mind as a 30 year old geezer...
>>46564964I just hope that Hags become real before that point
>>46564045Thats when you become the experience one that "teaches" younger unexperienced ones. That is the circle of life.
>>46544467You'll end up hearing about all of the atrocities she has probably committed
>>46566445"Oh wow, you really did that? Hahaha, don't know why he screamed so much, I would've gladly taken his place.""...Anon, he died.""I know what I said."
look at these vibrant and youthful schoolgirls
>>46566303A geezer to shape the young women of today into the hags of the future for the young men of their era to enjoy...
>>46540778Why isn't Aya considered a hag? She's over a thousand years old.Suwako also should be considered one since she's probably older then Kanako
>>46568509Despite what the word implies, hag is a body type not unlike MILF.
>>46568517Than Yuyuko isn't a hag, she's eternally young because she's a ghost, I think she even brings it up at some point.
>>46563616This but spitroasted on their massive futa cocks.
>>46568725How old was Yuyuko when she died? Do we know that?
>>46568725But she is, by those definitions. She is often drawn with the proportions of a hag. That's really all it takes to be considered one.
>>46541262le haggidy hag hags! xdddddd
>>46570144You could draw any 2hu with saggy tits
>>46570144Her only friend is the eternal 17 year old so Im not sure shes really that much older then her
>>46564120OLD HAGSRUNNING THE WORLD
>>46568725Found it, Yuyuko is a(n eternally) young lady
I know this is a longshot but I remember there was some writer guy who made a whole post about a young man accidentally entering a ladies night at a bar and getting assaulted by the ladies. Was that ever finished and If so dose anyone have a link to it ?
>>46570489I remember what your talking about and I'm pretty sure it was a short one shot and not anything longer
>>46573705I swear it extended into the guy being sent of to Kanako for a day. The guy said he'd continue it but I havent found anything
>>46570209Yes, but it also heavily depends on what the art community as a whole decides their primary fanon body type is. Like how Yuugi is portrayed as being big and muscular despite nothing about her original art implying that she is.
>>46570209not him but which one?
>>46575769Like who's to say Aya doesn't have saggy tits?
>>46575794maybe too big.
>>46576195Just slightly.
>>46576195Now do Yuuma.
>>46577222Lady you need a bra ASAP.
>>46570452Makes sense as how would you even age after you're a ghost?She's not a walking corpse so she wouldn't rot...
>>46577222EW! Saggy haggy!
>>46579031Good lord above a man could live and thrive between Yukari’s Yakumos here.
hags throwing out there hips trying to do cheer routines
>>46583680oopsie!
>>46579031
>>46587181God I want to gently massage her back and apply ointment while she whines
>>46583680Yuuka and Eirin definitely were forced to do this
>>46540778I prefer the younger version (Marry) because that way I get to enjoy a younger girl and see her body slowly develop into an older woman
>>46588227Too bad she kinda dislikes men...
>>46588324Where dose it say that?
Eirin would probably be the best all around. Her skills as a doctor and knowledge of anatomy would absolutely translate into giving some phenomenal orgasms. Not even going into any drugs or aphrodisiacs she has access to.Byakuren would be a runner up. In the situation she's actually having sex you have a chance to break a dam holding back some 1000 years of sexual repression. The passion that would flow out of her would be unending as she falls into lust. Other misc hags (Kanako, Maizomu, etc) slot in here, nothing too much to make them stand out compared to the two above. Yuuka would be similar to Byakuren with the lust dam but to a lesser degree. I suspect she'd lean more into femdom when she gets in the mood though, and at your expense it may not be gentle. Yukari in concept would be great because gap play but in reality she would probably get bored halfway through because that's just the kind of person she is. Although there is the potential for Ran tag team, who would be much better at sex than Yukari. Yuyuko without a doubt would be worst. Dead fish tier.
>>46590025>Yuyuko>Worst>Dead fishPick one?
>>46590025>Yuyuko not giving godly fellatioJust admit you don't like her at that point. She would definitely chow down on your cock like Youmu's cooking.
>>46590094>teethy blowjobNo thank you.
>>46590025>Dead fish tier*Pillow princess tier.
>>46590025>>46590094Yeah, I call bullshit too. Yuyuko probably spit-shone Youki's mighty sword for hours every night until Youmu was old enough to take over the duty, anyway. She's also liable to have a looser throat than Yoshika. You could cram your whole forearm in there, let alone your dick.
>>46590109Don't worry, yuyuko will be gentle!
>>46590215Dude that's disgusting Yuyuko would've seen him like a father figure, not even touching on Youmu. You're disgusting, I hope Eiki sends you to Hell
>>46590025>Although there is the potential for Ran tag team, who would be much better at sex than Yukari.Ran would sneak her fingers into your butthole while you're fucking Yukari.
>>46590025What about Okina?
>>46590025>Yukari in concept would be great because gap playAlright but picture this: Yukari throats you but in her throat is a gap connecting to her vagina.
>>46594893Make it Reimu's vag00 and I'm game
>>46595298Where is the hag ?!
>>46595298No.You've destroyed something truly wonderful, Yukari.There is not enough water in the world to wash your hands of this sin.
Real question. We know that Touhou Hags are only friends because they are all equally lonely and desperate . Do you see any of them being actual friends outside the meetings and if so who and why
>>46596131Yes if you are a hag yourself
I want to sit with and have a drink with her
>>46596131Not at all, besides Yuyuko and Yukari.Each and every one of them are competing for scarce resources, there is simply no room for charity in this battle.Eirin once came across Yuuka whilst looking for medicinal plants, and the tension between them was so icy it briefly gave Cirno superpowered abilities. The level of passive-aggressive insults bruised some nearby minor youkai, from the sheer barely restrained ultra-violence being emitted by the two.And that's how Medi got two moms!
>>46596177She seems like she would be a fun person to drink with. While the oni also sound like good times, with them it's only a matter of time before they try to do something physically oriented and injure you in the process.
>>46596198
Does yuyuko even belong in hag tier? Her ghost body is from when she was like 17.
>>46596309Yukari's body is also very youthful. a Hag is a state of mind somoni who has 0 friends , 0 chances with a man , no social awareness and probably watches romcoms all day
>>46596309Hagitude is a state of mind. Yuyuko spends her days at home, killing time, overeating and bullying a younger woman, all the while pretending to be a ditzy young lady. She's a hag by lifestyle. Well, afterlife-style.
>>46596309tei and suwako are older than most of them as well. it's mostly based on vibes
>>46596348god could you imagine Tewi showing even an ounce of her true hag energyit would be overwhelming
>>46564120>>46570429The checks and balances of democratic governments were invented because human beings themselves realized how unfit they were to govern themselves. They needed a system, yes, an industrial-age machine
>>46600715Wouldn’t the fact that humans devised and implemented, albeit with some flaws, said checks and balances for the system reinforce the fact that we’re capable of self-governance? Nice try yook hags.
Who triumphs?Who do you want to triumph?
I wonder who Yukari abd Okina feel about tge fact thst they are considered hags but Kasen, a fellow sage, isn't
>>46601132The one you feed
>>46601132Yukari would not beat Kanako in a pure test of strength.
>>46601179how drunk are you
>>46602452the artist also thinks so, Kanako is very confident and is pushing Yukari pretty far
Any reason why Junko and Okina were never added to the hag group?
>>46605126they're a bit too bitchy and loony.
>>46601179Kasen is a member of the hag group 100%>>46605126Junko is quite literally a milfOkina is a hag and one of the more younger memebers
>>46605160Forgot to attach the image
>>46601179Kasen is a hag that disguises herself as a shota molesting onee san
>>46605160>Kasen is a member of the hag group 100%she's just another nee-san among many others.
>>46605126Junko has canonically had sex. She also does not care about sex at all. She does not give out hag energy. Trying to seduce her or get her in bed would lead nowhere. The only way she'd ever have sex is if she was trapped in a room and couldn't get out without doing it, and she'd only do it because it's in the way of killing Chang'e. You'd nut and she'd move on immediately.
>>46602496I did have a couple of drinks, how did you figure that out?
I think it is time that we once and for all settle the ranks of the Old Maid Alliance: The fact of the matter is that the original members and founders of the council were:-Mima (MIA)-Shinki (MIA)-Yuuka Out of these 3 fine ladies 2 have sadly gone missing leaving Yuuka Kazami as the sole survivor of the original founders.Up next we have the officers of the Old Maids Alliance society:-Yukari-Yuyuko -Eirin-Byakuren-KanakoAll these fine young ladies are the most important members of the Alliance and are a well respected for their position.Next we have the Middle Management Experienced Ladies who are full members of the council but are not as prestigious as the before mentioned:-Okina-Junko (Despite her lack of interest in the organisation she is still a very important member)-Hecatia (Just look at how she dresses)After them we have the regular members of the council , they participate in the events although they lack the voting power of the others:-Seiga-Urumi-Mamizou-Ran -Yuugi-EikiLastly we have the associates who are connected and work along with the group but are yet perhaps if they prove themselfs the books will open: -Letty-Keine-Sakata-HisamiIf I did happen to miss anyone please do bring it up getting all this information was quite dangerous as I had to get really close to the Monthly Old Maids Alliance meetings.
>>46605293I wonder if Junko can even cum, or even feel pleasure from sex at at all.
Ran or Letty should replace Byakky in the high council.
>>46605484Yukari would not allow her subordinate to ascend to such a rank just yet. Letty however has the makings of a leader and a officer however her sleep is quite problematic in this
>>46605422Why is Sakata under Urumi?
>>46605748She's very isolationist and doesn't like to talk to anyone that much. Id doubt she's social enough to get to a very high position
>>46605484>>46605732Letty is too fat sorry
>>46601066Humans had to arrange themselves in crude structures that formalized decision-making - a highly imperfect, unstable solution
>>46606675If one of us [me] agrees to date the arts and crafts god, will she leave the rest of us alone?
>>46606682Probably, but then, all that controlling personality would be focused on one person
>>46596329>all the while pretending to be a ditzy young lady.How's that working out for her?
>>46602552She couldn't find a man to do that for her? Sad!
>>46605422Which of the 5 officers have the highest chance of getting laid? Maybe Eirin can trick a male patient with some bullshit treatment.
>>46607236in order: yuyuko>eirin=byakky>yukarin=kanako.
>>46605422Elly has finally conceded defeat and accepted her auntiness and future as a hag by allowing Yuuka to introduce her to the Alliance as a prospect member. Sacchan has been pestering her mom for an introduction for years, but Shinki is still in full denial and believes that her eldest daughter will eventually meet a guy and have kids someday, instead of becoming a thousand year old virgin like Kanako.
>>46607178Secondaries fall for it all the time.
>>46609179>accepted her auntinessYou make it sound like a disease...
The reason why Yuuka no longer shows up for hag meetings
This thread smells like my grandma's house
>>46606944bug segs
>>46605422I would like to mend a mistake I have made by forgetting to add Iku (Regular Member) and Kasen (Middle Managment) Despite both of their happiness due to them not being included I was informed about this mistake by a threatening letter that came in my mailbox. The letters author is unknown but has the scent of coffee , red wine , baked cookies and is quite musty.
>>46605422>Junko>HecatiaJunko was married and had a kid, and Hecatia is a volcel. The old maid club would never accept them.
>>46608656Why Yuyu that high?
>>46610776Have you seen her?She's probably the least artistic person there. That's it, that's the requirements.
>>46610776her gluttony is a sign of weakness toward carnal pleasures.
>>46610796>artisticWhich one is best at arts n' crafts?
>>46605126>>46605160Junko and Okina are most definitely in the hag groupThe more iffy ones are ones like Ran, Yuuka, Kasen and seiga
Is your hag in shape?
>>46611282Keiki, aka arts and crafts Junko.
We need to clearly draw the line between cakes and hags. 2hus like Iku, Seiga, Kasen and Megumu give out cake energy instead of hag energy despite their actual age. Then we have wild cards like Sannyo
>>46611282that old lady made a much more interesting piece of art than raphael did
>>46611365Her shape is round.
>>46610528Junko is a hag no matter what you say. She WAS married and HAD a kid as you said yourself. Today she's lonely and yearns for the once warm embrace of her late son and husband. Its easy for Hecatia to try and call herself a volcel to escape the hag stamp. She matches most of the criteria to be a hag. Her dress style only adds to this its clear she wishes to get with a man and wants to get pampered.
>>46611659I think Junko might be Udongesexual
>>46611706Where the hell did this ship come from ?
>>46611803They appeared in the same game
>>46611815anon confirmed for never clearing heca
>>46611826Yeah she's to hard :(
>>46611659If Hecatia wanted to get laid, she would've just slept with Hermes, but unlike the hags, she actually values her maidenhood and is happy with herself.She's also fashionable and with it, unlike the hags, who used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what they're with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to them.It'll happen to you.
>>46612606I agree with most of the things here she is less of a hag then others but a hag non the less. Simple fact of the matter is she is still very much friendless. Also to note other hags are also very Fashionable take Yuuka and Iku for example.
>>46611630Cute!
>>46611659>Today she's lonely and yearns for the once warm embrace of her late son and husband.She purified those feelings, the only thing left is the grudge.
Does someone have that "we love older women" image of yukari?
The age of 1500 is in demand
>>46613773This one?
>>46613876Yes, thank you
I wish I got forcibly adopted by a hag
Are mommy issues to blame for this being the only type of woman I find attractive?
>>46613655She doesn't even have a son to suck and sag her tits down anymore, why are they still so saggy?
>>46606944actual good 3d models?
>>46614552No, you're just not a p*do. Women are just like wine, they age and get better.
>>46614713Too full. You know, because of no son.
>>46615349Haha imagine accidentally brushing up against her, causing her to leak and ruin her dressIt sure would be a shame if she snapped and forcefully adopted me afterwards haha
>>46615476Nigga, just that thought gave me a boner strong enough to almost kill me by anemia... I really need that pure holy milk now!
>>46614552No, you're allowed to like older women without having mommy issues, anon
>>46615476Being adopted by Junko seems like a good thing at first but I assure you its horrible. Eating only Chinese food , wear Chinese clothing , learning Chinese ! Worst part yet you will have to learn how to play Mahjong and join her for the weekly Mahjong game with Seiga and Meiling!Lord have mercy if she decides you need to start learning Kung Fu and and sends you to train with Meiling!
>>46617528You say this as if she would ever let you leave her embrace or let other WHORES near you>training with MeilingAnd let you possibly get hurt in the process?No, you stay where you are safe, snuggled up in a blanket, preferably with her in there as well.
>>46617569>let other WHORES near youNobody else plays Chinise Mahjong like they do , Im sure Mother Junko would keep you safe from them Seiga especially and Meiling for being Communist.>And let you possibly get hurt in the process?How else will you become a strong young man ? She would want her young boy to be strong!
>>46617602If you get hurt then it's up to her to nurse you back to health. Heaven knows she's never, ever, letting you go near that quack MOON doctor. She still buys Eientei medicine from Udonge
>>46617528Junko wouldn't be satisfied with just that. She'd have Seiga use her skills in necromancy to instantly kill anon and trap his soul into some object before allowing it to pass on to the afterlife. Then she'd have anon's soul inserted into one of her eggs, fertilizing it and impregnating her. That way anon will get the full experience of growing up chinese!
She wouldnt risk letting her son die againNever again
>>46617638I doubt she would let Seiga have the body afterwards.
>>46617638Anon's soul trapped in a dildo!
Which hag would be the worst caretaker/partner?Who would be the best ? What if they agree to share you ?
>>46617772Worst? Yukari, she'd pass responsibility on to her fox when she's tired.Best? Ran. Yuuka if you don't consider the fox one. Yuuka's very diligent and can bake bread.
>>46617772I wouldn't mind having both Eirin and Junko as motherwives assuming they got along well enough to share.
>>46618541Putting any two older ladies together means they couldn't get along bar Junko Hectia and Yuyu Yukarin
Imagine getting snuggled to sleep every night by a hag
>>46618541>assuming they got along well enough to share.what if they dont, but express that by trying to out do each other when spoiling you?
>>46618220Yuuka has the unforseen benefit (If you want to look at it that way) of being very direct in her confrontations. When the other ladies of Gensokyo come a'knocking on your bedroom door asking if you'd like to play tennis with them, she'll walk up to them and rather effectively convince them to leave, via percussive persuasion. She punches her competition in the face since she can get away with it.
>>46618655Imagine if she came into conflict with an equally direct lady, like Byakuren with all of her magical buffs casted.
>>46618593I love hag/cake hus sooo much I wish Women didn't die once they hit their 30s...
>>46618688Unstoppable force versus an immovable object?I think she'd put on a show battle for her pride's sake then grab you and fuck off back to Mugenkan.Byakuren has one hell of a defence, but the 'Ka has an equally good offence and as we all should know when all else is equal offence is more flexible than defence.Plus it would be really funny to grab the prize and leave bhudda boobs high and dry, which is why I think she'd do it.
>>46618541What is the context behind this image I wonder ...
>>46618750Would be funny if they had such a destructive battle that everything within a mile radius of them was basically demolished, with neither of them being a clear winner or even more than slightly injured. Then after deciding that they've had enough they'd both just say "good fight" and go their separate ways.
I want to embarrass my hagwife by calling her cute pet names in front of all her other hag friends
Hag saggers?
>>46620775>I want to embarrass my hagwife by calling her cute pet names in front of all her other hag friendsas if she wont flash the smuggest shit eating grin to her hag friends as she replies "yes honey?"
>>46620775>>46622872Imagine just wordlessly cuddling up to your hagwife and watching the others seethe
>>46622872>>46623127>hag showing you off to all her hag friends>they all coo and pet you like you're a kitten/puppy
>>46622390cute hag
>>46625201>this will never happen to youwhy live
>>46625201They force you to sing their favourite songs from the Showa-era. They dress you up in what their dream man would wear. After that they spin a giant wheel and see who gets you until the next weekly meeting. Until then you are forced to spend your time with the lucky lady.
>>46622390Look at this old woman. She's perfect.
>>46626718Gensokyo needs shota protection laws
>>46596161Very scary picture.
>>46626740but who will enforce them?
>>46626575Don't be so utterly ridiculous, anon. They're not gonna ask you to sing from the Showa era.The most modern songs they know are all from the Jomon period.
>>46622872God I want to enter into a complete sloppy moe contest with my hagwife, with such sickening sweetness that it gives you toothrot just being near it.Imagine calling her your cute widdle cuddle-bundle in front of the others. I think that would put your life in danger from the imminent tsunami.
>>46625959If you wish hard enough it will happen.
>>46626740Who saves the weak from the woman who saves the weak?
No country for old women
>>46627114Clearly my bedroom does not fall under the category of the country in question.
>>46627114I agree ! This is a country for the young maidens of Genysoko like Yukari , Kanako , Eirin and many others!Who could like a child under 1000 ? 25 even 30 ? Do you like Kids or something anon ? You sicko the age of consent in genysoko is at least 1000
>>46626799>八雲 藍さまへPoor innocent gappy. Time to get the popcorn.
Impregnate the gap
>>46627645>cum inside Yukari>she gaps it into Ran's womb instead
>>46627678>10 years later Foxes are 80% of the Genysoko Population >Humans account for only 15% of the Population but suffer a sharp 50% Birth-rate decline Is it over bros ?
>>46627739Jesus christ how big are those litters?
Maybe I deserve to be hagged without mercy
>>46622390she looks like she just got out of bed with those eyes
>there are hags in this thread right nowRUNRUN BEFORE TH
Thanks Yukari that is very cool. Can you talk about the dinosaur with 500 teeth? What was his name again?
>editYou lazy hag stop copy and pasting from wikipedia.
You're not looking for a hag. She doesnt have the energy to pamper you and she's too exhausted to even be nice to you.Why don't you go just a step below? I've heard from someone that a certain messenger of the Dragon Gods has been looking for a boyfriend, and you couldn't beg for a hotter cutie if you tried
>>46628958Oh no, he has been hagnapped…>>46629054Yeah okay totally not Iku. Dumb lightning fishe lady.
Why is Junko keeping me in an oversized crib?
hag baths
Hey Anon...what's your relationship with your mother like..?
>>46630955Extremely positive, which is why I consider her traits extremely desirable in a woman. You may critique me on these grounds but I will not hear a word against my mother and I will not stand for any implication she failed as a parent.
Name 5 hags
>>46630978Yukari, Kanako, Yuyuko, Eirin, Jackie Chan
>>46627739Anon, Yukari might be lazy, but she's still a responsible pet owner and made sure to sterilize her ShikiFox before setting her loose.Plus, hags don't share, except maybe Eirin and even then it would only be with Kaguya. Servants don't get shit.
>>46631101Yukari would maybe share you with Yuyuko. Kanako maybe with Sanae ? >sure to sterilize her ShikiFoxShe probably made the appointment forgot about it trice and then when she finally decided to do it realised shed have to pay and gave up. Speaking of Eirin shed probably let Reisen have her turn.
>>46631520Anon, once a hag gets her bony, flabby hands on you, she's not going to let go, ever. That's why village men are all trained not to make eye contact with any unfamiliar women.And as much as Yukari loves her naps, she does put in effort when it comes to Gensokyo's safety, and properly dealing with your fox is always a main priority.Besides, you know ShikiFox's prime directives, right? Yukari made sure her shikigami would never become her threat thanks to these: ＳＨＩＫＩＦＯＸ ＰＲＩＭＥ ＤＩＲＥＣＴＩＶＥＳ１： ＳＥＲＶＥ ＬＡＤＹ ＹＵＫＡＲＩ２： ＰＲＯＴＥＣＴ ＧＥＮＳＯＫＹＯ３： ＵＰＨＯＬＤ ＹＯＵＫＡＩ ＤＯＭＩＮＡＮＣＥ４： ［ＣＬＡＳＳＩＦＩＥＤ］
I will NOT submit to hags
>>46631613You WILL love the Hags (Yum yum)Cellulite sooo good!Hags IN CONTROL ! (YES YES YES)New Hag OrderNew Hag Order We need a new Hag-Youngman couple !You will own a Hag and be HAPPY!
>>46631611You forgot >Be cute
And>Party Hard
>>46631611>classifiedW-what does this one entail?
>>46631818Finding Yukari a husband
>>46631684>you will own a hagYou mean a hag will own meI hope she doesnt find out I like milk
>>46631834How about powdered milk ?
>>46631845Gross
>>46631818ＡＮＹ ＡＴＴＥＭＰＴ ＴＯ ＵＮＤＥＲＭＩＮＥ ＹＵＫＡＲＩ’Ｓ ＬＯＶＥ ＬＩＦＥ ＲＥＳＵＬＴＳ ＩＮ ＳＨＵＴＤＯＷＮRan has never been at risk of triggering it.
>>46631876The gates of Hagartha are not open to your kind
>>46631990Its not worth it if I cant drink it from the sourceWhat do you think those saggers are for?
>>46632006Where do you think powdered milk comes from?
>>46632154Maybe I'm uncultured but the only powdered milk I know of is formula shit you buy at the store
>>46634289That's just an artificial reproduction of the dried-out milk that can only be found in the breasts of hags left unused for centuries.
>>46634343The flow must be restored
>>46634601That's a miracle not even Kanako could grant.And Urumi just straight up started laughing when they came to her for advice.
>>46634825I will refire this dying starNo matter how many mating presses it will take
I'll post my poem here too. Made for the /jp/ oc thread, but it died before I could post it.I sit hereThe air is cool, sweet, pureMy form, the mountain it adornsAll is quiet, the shrine peacefulA quiet rumble, distant thunderThe goddess appears, with a leerOh dear, Kanako has a new idea
>>46631967Of course she hasn't. You think Yukari can outwit a fox? You think she can out rules lawyer a Shikigami? Nowhere in her contract is a clause that says she cannot have a child with the husband of her master. It's not undermining her love life either because the calculated impact is zero, it was all consensual you see; and technically Ran is Yukari by extension of being possessed by Yukari as part of being a Shikigami. Not to mention marking a directive as classified in the contract is dubious at best. Not only that, but by popping out a kid (or several) it upholds the first three directives which are plainly stated. These children can serve the growing Yakumo family and matriarch. These children are undeniably going to be powerful and can protect Gensokyo and it's interests. And obviously popping out more half-Youkai upholds the dominance of their kind. Yukari is just being obtuse, as always.
Ran probably would surpass Yukari if given the opportunity if she could somehow outlive her. Where Yukari has become lazy, Ran could develop to be even greater than her if things were different.
>>46635885>HalfGappy and Ran are powerful Great youkaiany of their genes will be full blooded youkaionly yet more kitsunes will come out of the kitsune
Ran as a performing artist!
>>46635981>only yet more kitsunes will come out of the kitsuneIn outward appearance yes, but they will be resistant to spiritual attacks incorporating one of the few things human genes pass on. That's the real strength of half breeds, best of both worlds and it's all Yakumo supremacy from here. Imagine, Sanae getting tag teamed by kitsune in their rebellious phase and her horror as her talismans and prayers aren't as effective in driving them off. She loses the subsequent fight and her panties get stolen and ends up in Reimu's offering box; thus sparking another incident
>>46635885I see that another glitch appeared in Ran's programming.It will be corrected shortly.
>>46636102Just hit it until it does what you want, really showing your age there ババア.
Not bad for her age.
