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>>35504307
i was a chuddy at 13 but then i got a tranny friend and felt identified with her feelings towards gender/puberty/looking like a man. it was somwhat of a critical time because i was starting to grow body hair n all that stuff and i felt terrible due to that but i dont think i would've known i was trans without her being there. sadly she or well, he, turned into a chud eventually due to not being able to access hrt + self hatred + attraction to women

the more i interact with trannies the more it makes me rebound back to being normal

>>35504307
i can’t pinpoint exactly when i realized. i always got upset when teased about being feminine, but i secretly liked it. right before puberty i began working out and eating healthier to get skinny. two years later and i was actively restricting my eating in an attempt to stunt my development because i didn’t want to be seen as a guy. a year later i found out what being transgender was, and i consistently switched between oblivious cope (femboy, “i just need to embrace my masculinity”, it’s just a fetish, etc.) and accepting that i was trans until i confirmed i was trans at 17 after a few months of sh and a failed suicide attempt. two years later and now i’m on hormones.

>be failed male
>realize this sucks
>become trans
>????
>profit

>>35504307
>be 13
>holy shit I fucking hate puberty i wish i could be a girl
>go on 4chan
>find out about trannies
>giwtwm
>too retarded to know how they got like to look like that, thought it was entirely luck (i mean it is but hrt helps)
>start getting kind of chuddy
>get ftm bf at 17
>tells me about hrt but hes also super misinformed and says i shouldnt diy because of the (great exaggerated) risk of blood clots
>follow that retarded "trap aesthetics" infograph
>get dumped at 18
>alternate between gigachud and <18 bmi femboy camming for strangers online
>repress from 21 to 24
>holy shit im gonna kms if i dont transition, finally start at 25

in addition
>being bullied for sitting down to pee as a kid (its just comfy but ig its gendered)
>why do you walk like that anon
>why do you stand like that anon
>why do you do [thing] like a girl anon
>why havent you got in a fight anon
>why do you cry so much anon
>dad seething at me acting like a fag in home videos
>generally way more empathetic and sensitive than any of my peers

I get that none of that necessarily points to me being a girl or trans but it feels like I have had to go against the grain my entire life just to justify my existence to people and I got tired of that t b h

>>35504307
i dont even know what i am
i have zero self-image
like i dont even know what i actually look or sound like to other people
i haven't properly looked at my face or my body for years at this point
i have few memories during puberty and even fewer relating to puberty itself. it's like i just plugged my ears and slept through the whole thing

honestly im surprised how most people seem to have so much self-awareness when i basically dont know anything about myself
makes me feel like im not real lol

>>35504669
not op, i just wanted to give a massive FUCK YOU to that infograph, unironically prevented me from just using hrt sooner. i probably would have been a midshit if it weren’t for that.

>>35504307
Met actual trans people and talked for like 45 minutes before realizing that constantly praying you'd wake up as a girl and fantasizing about an alternate girl version of myself whenever I got sad was *not* something I was just supposed to hide and not think about too hard.

I remember in high school I saw the rocky horror picture show and that really turned me off from the whole queer thing. I thought the only trans people were freaks. Bailey Jay kind of registered to me but I thought she just crossdressed and got implants or something.
Later my first girlfriend dressed me up in heels and did my nails and stuffed. That was so much fun. It changed everything. I started dreaming about being a girl. Then my life fell apart. It's come back together as I transition.
I think my parents are begrudgingly fine with me being trans because I'm doing so well in school on my own initiative. Also my mental health is good right now. Go figure.
I've posted my story before

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>>35504307
>uhh i was a feminine kid who cried and then got harassed.
>puberty hit me at 12, i was viciously bullied and repressed down any feelings of wanting to be a girl while my hormones destroyed my body.
>completely disgusted by my body and sexuality
>i had my first heartbreak at 14 where i felt envious over a girl i liked.
>then at 15 i had a full beard, i shaved it incessantly bc of how much i hated it until at 16 i gave up on that.
>kept the beard and repped until 22.
>repressed my attraction to guys especially after the first boy i had a crush on.
>at 18 got my first gf, hated having sex as the top and having to use my penis.
>would buy her clothes that i wanted for myself, but could never wear
>she would sometimes leave her panties at my apartment and id wash them and wear them because i felt cute ;_;
>we break up, i cry, i try dating more times fail everytime because i hate playing the male role
>22, i become obsessed with reading about trans stuff. spend too much time in trans forums and places and think how it would be so much better if i wasnt male
>around that time i just would go to gay bars out of loneliness becuase i wanted a cute boy to talk to
>23-24 NB coped, just said to myself hey i can just be a cute twink haha while i cried in bed over not being a girl and my hairline and my facial hair and my chest hair and torso and shoulders
>25 stopped being retarded and got on HRT, should have done it 3 years ago but am retarded

I spent too much time worrying about making others happy or comfortable, all the while suffering in silence and pushing down awful feelings.

>>35504307
>be kid
>play more with girls
>mom does my nail polish and i love it
>i pretend to be on a pageant show with towel dresses in my bedroom
>get crushes on boys
>grow up
>15
>androgeninsensitivity.png
>every guy masculinises except for me
>get bullied for looking feminine and acting gay
>my brain makes me like getting degraded
>year later 16
>troon out
i could’ve been a normal gay man if i developed like a guy should develop

>>35504307
being autistic

>be 14
>relate and look up to female characters
>late puberty
>T makes you horny
>think shameful thoughts about women
>hate myself for it
>learn about traps at 15
>want to trick people online
>voice train without knowing what a tranny is
>read gender bend manga
>giwtwm
>realize i'm a tranny at 15
>repress
>date several 90% straight bi girls
>wait, i have to be the guy during sex?
>cry about it
>go to college to get more knowledge
>realize i like the boy that i chose this college for
>he gets pickme girlfriend
>hate her
>tell her offhandedly that im closet trans
>first person to take me seriously
>feel happiness for the first time
>continue repressing
>drop out and fail suicide
>think about life
>ishouldbedead.mkv
>i've got nothing to lose
>transition at 20

insert this wherever you think fit
>daydream alternate life where i was born a girl
x100

bumbp

>>35504307
bump

> be 12
> get very depressed
> at 13, two ftm guest speakers visited my school's gsa that my friends dragged me to
> thought it was mildly interesting, so looked more into it
> found out about mtf, about hrt
> wow, i know why im depressed, why i feel this way
> took a week or two to come to terms with it, told mom
> puberty blockers a few weeks later
> estrogen 2mo before 15
> proceeded to boymode through high school anyway
> presented female starting uni
> still depressed tho, hate myself, but hrt was a good idea nonetheless

mourning europa we need to know

>>35504488
Same but I’m in way too deep

Had an older tranny friend at 13 who killed herself after grooming me

>>35504307
Basically my dom would call me his bitch and I’d be like okay and then he caged my clit and I was like okay and then he said he wanted me to have big tits and I was like okay and that’s pretty much it. And before anyone comes for me check yourself because Hunter is the same way and she’s a famous actress so fuck all y’all

>>35510763
also same but i hate these people with their nothing burger problems and so easily propagandized