>>35525746
men are conditioned to shoot their shot, even if the chances are low, and press further if there's even a small chance

>>35525746
People on grindr have single digit iq. Idk where to meet queer men that are capable of thought

>>35525760
Shooting their shot means the initial message. Anything after that if they get ignored is just desperation

>>35525793
Tinder/Hinge are better if you are not able to meet people irl easily

>>35525746
First things first, you are probably the one not respecting Grindr etiquette here, because you probably read read their message. The rules on Grindr are simple. If you are not interested you keep the message on unread. If you have opend the chat, the other person can see the message as read, which usually means interest.

So you probably like a retard, read all the messages and then ignore them, which is considered rude on Grindr. The reason for this is, there are a lot of shy/nervous guys on Grindr, especially first time users, or people cheating on their girlfriends. So when the message is read, but not responded, it's assumed that you are potentially interested, but feel conflicted, or are still not sure, so you get followup questions to give you a little nudge.

Thats like the very basics of Grindr... It's not hard, just learn the rules.

>>35525746
ok

>>35525870
How can they even see if I read their message? Also people do this even when I never opened the message

>>35525746
The worst are the ones who message that after five minutes of you not replying. It's like damn, I have other shit to do.

>>35525890
Grindr premium or however it is called. It's a must have nowadays. Otherwise you can't really use the app.

But even more important than that, which is the second part I forgot in the message above (thats why I originaly started with "First things first"), even ignoring a message on unread is considered the pussy way of dealing with uninterest. If you are not interested, you should have the dignity to just tell.
It's called basic decency and you should have it even on grindr. Grow some balls and just answer with "sorry not interested" or something.

Just have a bit of decency

>>35525909
Most people don't have premium. Also your logic is retarded. I open the message to see the pics that they send and then determine I don't like how they look. Why should I have to take time to tell someone I am not interested? It's basic logic that if someone finds you hot they are not just going to ignore you. Forget me having decency, you should get some self-awareness

>>35525870
>rules on Grindr
>rules.
lol. lmao even.

>>35525919
>Why should I have to take time to tell someone I am not interested?
Because of respect. Just consider the situation IRL. If a person in a bar would hit on you, you wouldn't just ignore them, but politely say "Sorry not interested". Why do you think not the same etiquette should apply online?

Remember, people are not just on that app for a hookup, and we aren't just all faceless, but also to find friends. So a bit of mutual respect is expected. I sometimes feel like Gen Z is just completely socially inept. It's not a fucking handy game to win a quick fuck, it's interactions with real people with expectations and emotions. It's a community.

Just behave like you would at a gay bar or cafe. It's not hard.

>>35525964
We're not in a bar. It's an app. That is the difference. Even if I was being disrespectful by ignoring their messages, it's still desperate as fuck to beg someone to tell you they don't like you

>>35525919
>Most people don't have premium.
Where the fuck do you live that this is the case? Grindr premium is a must to be able to use the app properly.

It's not just the read messages, there are a lot of these tiny rules. E.g. if you have right now in your profile and you are marked as online, it is assumed that you are available right now. If you are just browsing, you need to set yourself as offline, which is also only available in premium.
Also because many people are shy, you want to have access to "viewed me", where you can see when people have visited your profile and how often. So if a person looks at your profile regularly, they are probably interested but just to shy to write to you, so you should hit them up.
Also if you messaged someone for right now, and you want to redact that offer, you want to unsend the message, which is also a premium feature.

Those are just some of the small unwritten rules of Grindr etiquette, that are basically mandatory, and are locked behind premium

>>35526030
>Where the fuck do you live that this is the case? Grindr premium is a must to be able to use the app properly.
How? only the top 1% most desperate coomers would ever even think about paying for grindr premium

>>35526030
>they are probably interested but just to shy to write to you, so you should hit them up.
wrong. if someone likes you they will message. if not, they won't

>>35526023
>We're not in a bar. It's an app.
And this makes it ok to be disrespectful? God GenZ is so fucking braindead

>it's still desperate as fuck to beg someone to tell you they don't like you

You fucking imbacil, can't you read or are you just to stupid to understand this:
>The reason for this is, there are a lot of shy/nervous guys on Grindr, especially first time users, or people cheating on their girlfriends. So when the message is read, but not responded, it's assumed that you are potentially interested, but feel conflicted, or are still not sure, so you get followup questions to give you a little nudge.

Being ignored does not mean universally disinterest. Everyone who comes from a rather conservative area (I was alive when being gay was under death penalty where I live), you know how hard it can be to respond to messages. So if no clear sign of disinterest is sent, we don't necessarily assume disinterest but maybe shyness, which can be overcome.

Also just for good measure, there are other reasons you may not be able to answer, e.g. when you are at work, you may read the message and check out the person, but think to answer later, and then simply forget. Or you got distracted, etc.

Have you never learned how to respectfully interact with other people?

>>35526085
>And this makes it ok to be disrespectful
it's not disrespectful because the context is different
>You fucking imbacil

>>35526065
>How?
As I've written above, at least here were I live the gay community has basically formed a set of rules and customs around how to use grindr, which involve premium features.

And it's not about coomers, at least half of the people on grindr are looking for friendships or long term relationships.

I think you misunderstand what role Grindr has to the gay community. It's not a hookup app. It's the digital retreat of the gay community. It's what gay bars, cafes and clubs have been before (infact most gay bars are closing because of grindr). It's not just where we hookup, but also where we make friends, network and organize.
Grindr is around for 15 years, you probably weren't even in school when it came out. Learn about the communities you enter before talking shit about how everyone else is misbehaving.

>>35526106
>it's not disrespectful because the context is different
But you have shown that you don't understand the context. You treat grindr as an anonymous hookup app, which it isn't.

It's amazing how within one generation the gay community went from a strong community fighting for their reights under fear of punishment and even death in many countries to entitled bricks like you.

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Im terrible at replying. I feel like Im cringe and not sexy at all so i just bail and never write back :( and then it makes them sad :((

>>35526153
>It's amazing how within one generation the gay community went from a strong community fighting for their reights under fear of punishment and even death in many countries
yes the gay community went from that to oversensitive losers like you whinging on 4chan over some random dude not answering your grindr message grow a fucking pair bro

>>35526118
>I think you misunderstand what role Grindr has to the gay community. It's not a hookup app. It's the digital retreat of the gay community
you must be trolling kek

>>35526153
you're an entitled brick

>>35526189
You know one part of me is happy that you don't have to live in the fear that if the wrong person finds out that you are gay, you'll get your head bashed in the next time you leave your house. But another part is really sad that the fact that you don't know what fighting for your right to live means is killing the LGBT community.

>>35526202
No, I just know the community. You are probably just to young to realize this. The online dating community dates back to the early 00s, and the whole culture around it has developed since then.

I always see zoomer just use grindr as an hookup app, but anyone older than 30 knows this is so much more. When you couldn't just tell people that you were gay, finding people to discuss these matters with, especially in a rural area like mine, online sites like grindr or gay romeo before that, were the only way to meet other gays.
And for most of us, this community still exists. I've met many good friends on Grindr, even as recently as this year.

You are the people who are entering communities that are older than yourself, believing you know it all and demanding everyone behave like you expect.

>>35525870
Yeah this is dumb as hell lol. If you send me a message I don't owe you shit, don't try to make your problem into my problem thank you. And on Grindr, no answer is an answer.

>>35526085
>You fucking imbacil, can't you read or are you just to stupid to understand this:
>Have you never learned how to respectfully interact with other people?
kek

>>35526532
People often say respect must be earned, but this is wrong. Respect is granted but can be lost. And by believing that people don't deserve respect because it's an app rather than IRL has lost any respect I had for them

>>35526499
Interesting approach, do you also don't do smalltalk with your hair dresser because you don't owe it to them? If people greet you on the streets, do you just ignore it because you don't owe them a response? Do you say "Hello" and "Goodbye" when entering a store even though they don't owe you these niceties?

Because I've never seen a person who brings this attitude to real life, everyone is nice and respectful irl, but then pretends like they don't need to be online

>>35526085
how old are you, anon?
i turn 30 next month and i have used grindr for the past 10 years
maybe it is different in your country/area, but where i am "no response is a response" has always been the norm on grindr
if someone saw your message (and you paid extra and even know that they saw it with 100% certainty) and did not respond, you can infer that they are not interested

it may be disorienting to new users but yeah thats kind of how grindr is
it's mostly used as a hookup app where i am and none of my gay friends really using it to date or socialize much, but maybe its different for you, ill give you that

but you are NEVER entitled to a response or explanation, and again: that is not at all unusual on grindr

>>35526583
>everyone is nice and respectful irl, but then pretends like they don't need to be online
What?
... do you even know what website you are posting on RIGHT NOW, boomer-anon?
Is 4chan known for having a nice, welcoming, polite community on whatever hole that you crawled out of...?

>>35525746
>say you aren’t interested
>dude flips out at you and threatens to find and kill you
>say nothing
>”what, not interested? you could at least be kind enough to respond with a no”

>>35526596
I'm 35, and again here the rule is: No response without read receipt => No interest, No response with read receipt => Try again
Never read a person on read while not responding.

And even then while no response, while accepted is still considered more rude in most of the gay circles I am around. It's understandable, especially for new users who may be overwelmed or people searching only for right now, but a simple "no interest sorry" is seen as the more appropriate way to respond.

>>35526609
Actually, all the anons I've met from this site IRL were quite nice and lovely people.

>>35526583
people are rude on the internet yeah you shouldn't care though, grow a fucking pair. that's all everyone is saying. you aren't entitled to anything, i get that you may not like that but that's the way it is

>>35526622
>No response without read receipt => No interest
you pulled this out of nowhere
i do not know ANYONE who uses this strange rule that you yourself made up just now
even my friends who pay for grindr dont bother responding to people that they are not interested in, and i know that they do this all the time lol

do you have an example of some losers on leddit parroting this or anything at all that would confirm that people actually do this?

>>35526645
Maybe it's a local thing, but leaving someone on read while being online you will be flooded with angry "why do you leave me on read" messages.

Don't tell me that you never have seen that

>>35526622
I'm not gonna waste my entire day responding to the hundreds of men I'm not interested in. I'll just ignore em, if they have a brain they'll take the hint and it saves me so much time.
If that hurts your feelings oh well boo hoo, that's life. Get over it.

>>35525746
Just use the block button dude.
Stop being a whiny bitch.

>>35526668
Where the fuck do you live that you get hundreds of messages every day? I mean just statistically speaking there are only 1000 gay people in my city, so this would require every single one of them to write me within 10 days.

Like when you first start grindr, you'll get a lot of messages, but after you've been using it for a while, you mostly know the people around and only get messages from new people

>>35526677
You can only block ten profiles a day tard

>>35526685
Retard move from my side, 10k not 1k, so it's 100 days, to get full exhaustion.

>>35526622
When I was young and new I actually would reply to strangers and thank them for their compliment or gently decline their offer but all it does is make them reply again because you engaged with them. If you're not interested, never engage. Also I'm sorry for you Anon that nobody replies to your messages, I hope you can figure out how to improve them.

>>35526685
Obviously I don't literally get hundreds of messages every day you autist. I still get a lot of messages from people I am not interested in, so I just ignore em, I'm not going to waste my time. Nothing personal, I just don't find them attractive. I got a suspicion you've been left on read one too many times lmfao

>>35526697
>Also I'm sorry for you Anon that nobody replies to your messages
You know, I'm in a happy relationship for 5 years now, I don't use grindr to hookup anymore just to find friends. So I'm not pissed because I see myself there, I'm pissed because people don't pay the respect to follow the established etuiquette.
The community is already fucked enough, we don't need disrespectful members within the community

>>35526583
What do you do in a cruising area when a guy makes eye contact with you and gives you 'the look' but he's not your type, do you sit down and explain why you're not interested in him, or do you just do a slight smile and head shake and keep moving?

>>35526733
>just do a slight smile and head shake and keep moving?
Yes, yo show that you understood the message and are not interested. Opposed to just walking without any response.

Thanks for exactly making my point

>>35525746
>If someone is interested in you, they are not going to ignore you.
i ignore them sometimes when i think they're out of my league but otherwise yeah this
>>35525870
you have to pay to be able to see if someone reads your message and the vast majority of users are not doing that... you just made this shit up

>>35526733
>>35526752
To just spin this metaphor further, if the person comes again and again to the place, and you always see them not reacting, they may be not interested, or they may be but are to shy or don't know how to respond, so you may stop and talk to them.

I was exactly in that situation. I'd visit a cruising spot like 5 times or so, to shy to engage in anything, until a guy who has seen me there multiple times talked to me.

The same can happen on grindr, many people using the app for the first time are to overwelmed and to shy to engage with the dozens of messages that flood them when they first open the app. So if they don't respond, asking them again can help them to overcome that

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>>35526752
Ah ok so you'd just do the bare minimum. Like reading his message but not replying. Shameful (I'm only playing Anon)

>>35526784
See >>35526778

You know there is still a lot of ambiguity when you leave the meassage on read, you could have not have time to respond yet and just forgotten (happens to me all the time), you could have been to shy to answer, or any other reason.

When you look at a person and shake your head it's a clear "no". So the equivalent in chat would be to just write "no", if thats to much for you just write "-"

>>35526807
nobody is paying for Grindr. read receipts don't factor into it at all

>>35526807
Maybe it's a 'no for right now but ask me again later because I'm shy' lol
You should not engage with men you're not interested in on Grindr but you are allowed to read their message, and you're even allowed to tap their profile. You don't owe a man a microsecond of your labor just because they messaged you and called you pretty. If someone doesn't reply to your message you need to brush it off and get over it.

>>35526822
First, read receipts aren't relevant to my response also, just replace the "on read" with "unresponded" and you get the exact same information.

Second, as I said earlier, at least here everyone who uses the app more than just casual has it. Like in our local communities, where we organize events and meetups, I haven't found a single person who doesn't pay for it, because read receipts are a must

>>35526837
>You don't owe a man a microsecond of your labor just because they messaged you and called you pretty.
Interesting opinion. Sadly you don't follow that yourself, at least not IRL. I bet my left testicle, if someone would try to flirt with you in a bar, you would give them some reaction.

So stop making up excuses for things you don't believe in yourself

>>35526844
you sound so fucking annoying and sensitive lmao

>>35526853
Ew, you have testicles?

>>35526867
shut up cooper

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>>35525746
Anyway OP I think it's fine, they shot their shot, and then did a follow-up just to be double sure. You can ignore the 2nd message too and then it's done. Worse are the '??' and 'Yes or no' messages because they're pushy and always from unattractive men lol

>>35526905
nooo the worst is when you are trying to be polite and say something short and sweet like "sorry not interested" but then they get pissy and offended saying shit like "well fuck you" or (my favorite) "what? why?"
like dude im not going to write you an essay on why my gymfit swimmer ass doesnt wanna hook up with your slovenly fatass dadbod lolol

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>>35526975
And then they block you lol. It's amazing how they try to gaslight you that nobody's ever said no to them before and that they're shocked and surprised when you do it. Also imagine having to explain to some random man why you don't want to sleep with him.......

>>35525793
>queer
You're no better than these retards

This thread is funny ngl

>>35526177
whose link

>state on grindr profile im only looking for fem people within my age range (21-25)
>get messages
>all way older masc men
>don't bother to respond
>they keep messaging me
>eventually say im only looking for what i state in my profile
>they send nudes and keep harassing me

is this part of the etiquette?

>>35527877
the desperate horny old sex pests that do this shit are exactly why i hate using grindr
like you, ill say in my profile exactly what i am into or looking for (even a simple "guys around my age only plz") and still get hit up by +60 year old bald and obese fucks acting like horny college students

Y'all are gay and OP is correct. If someone likes you they will engage you in convo and probably be eager to meet asap. If they're sufficiently motivated by your attractiveness you won't have to poke their shoulder and confirm. If they're acting in a "meh" way then you don't inspire them to want to interact with you, for any number of reasons. Etiquette doesn't really come into it. If they aren't reciprocating your interest it's easy to tell and move on.

>>35525909
>is considered the pussy way of dealing with uninterest
If im not interested on someone, why would i care about what they think about me? Your take is bullshit. Im not dealing with a temper tantrum of a no face pic 50 year old who thought i would be intrested in having a pic of his floppy salami and balls which reach his toes while he stands up

>>35526638
NTA but you do seem like a disgusting piece of trash. It's pretty obvious that you're a Zoomer incapable of thinking for yourself and without a single redeeming quality as a human being. Your parents really did bring an abhorrent, worthless person into this world.

>>35527877
You belong to masc men