Earlier today i was cleaning my son's room while he was at school and found a trans gender pride flag pin under his bed. he is 16. what should i do? im not really political and i dont know anything about trans gender. i have been trying to read about it today but it is confusing to me does this mean that my son is a girl / a non binary? are there any good books you folks would recommend about this topic for an older guy? he has been very distant and quiet with me lately so i am trying to be careful about this. for trans gender people here: what would you want your dad to do in this situation? thanks
>>41750334you should boyremove your son with your penis and then daughterwife her
freak the fuck out immediately its over
>>41750334just calmly bring it up and ask about it, offer help with hormones and legal stuff and see how your kid reactsit could be that he's an ally or it's a friend's or maybe he has a trans gfdon't be weird about it and don't be pushy, let your kid dictate the flow of the conversation and be prepared if they back away for a bit, it can be pretty confrontingjust hold space and be there for them if they need it, don't pressure good luck
>>417503341) just ask about the pin. It could be nothing. 2) leave here and never ever come back.
>>41750334im going to treat this as if you are being genuinebasically your son may be trans (as in MtF) or just trying to figure things out, you would have to talk to them directly in order to ascertain such things. Are you in a position where your son feels like they could divulge such information to you without fear of retaliation?you might want to dance around the subject initially, maybe mention in passing in a subtle way how you are supportive of trans people please do research into HRT as your son likely will want to go on HRTand just be nice to them and understanding…that’s how i would want things at least
It could mean nothing, maybe someone just gave it to him and he forgot about it.If you're not beating your son and calling him a faggot so far you're already doing good. When I was 15 my father shaved me bald and beat me nearly to death and kicked me out. I wish my father listened to me and accepted me.There are a LOT of people who have very strong and vested interests to radicalize you either for or against your child. Remember that forcing your kid to repress and bury who they are doesn't "fix" them, just traumatizes them.
assuming this is real (big assumption on this site) the first thing i’d recommend is getting off this board. a significant portion of the people here, even the trans ones, are pretty transphobic, often in ways that essentially no normal person is. beyond that, i’d just say to support your kid. make sure they know you love them, and try to be sure you’re not being casually bigoted or whatever. i know my mom would always point out trans people when they were on tv and essentially gawk at them. stuff like that will make your child feel unsafe coming to you with their own transness. i’m not saying you’ve gotta become super woke or anything. virtue signaling hard after spending a long time “apolitical” will come off suspicious anyway
>>41750334this is a feelgood larp. but that's a nice thing, i guess. thanks anonill play into it tho.i would say to gently broach if hes gay first. then another time bring up, oh i heard about this trans person recently what do you think about that stuff, you can gauge some things, especially if you are just earnest/respectful about itfrom there i think you can figure things out and maybe talk to your child more directly. ik when i was that age i got asked by my sister if i was trans and i panicked and shut down and went NO NONONO and repped for years after. so please be gentle
>>41750348thank you for the serious reply. i will try to talk about it tomorrow or some time this weekend. if you could explain what would it mean if he / they is trans gender? or somewhere to read about it? i have seen conflicting information, a lot of hateful stuff and i know it is a political issue so i try to avoid propaganda on both sides
>>41750426https://www.transhub.org.ausorry it's an aussie site but this is a decent resource for info i think?
>>41750426If your kid has gender dysphoria they will most likely want to undergo gender transition. They will most likely want to take feminizing hormone therapy and may pursue surgeries to feminize their body or alleviate dysphoria. Long story short, the person you knew as your son will become your daughter over time. You will only know what your child wants by talking with them and being open with them. There's a non zero chance the pin doesn't mean anything.
>>41750390thank you. i will look into hrt. we havent always seen eye to eye and we get into hollering matches a lot. but i wouldnt retaliate against him about something like this>>41750399im sorry to hear about that. that isnt right and i hope your doing better now. i try to stay away from propaganda and keep impartial on this stuff. i have said faggot and words like that before but just as jokes not at him. >>41750412this is my only post here usually i just post on /tg/ and /o/. i just trust 4chan to be honest more than a lot of sites. i will keep that in mind. >>41750414i was worried about him freaking out like that. i will try to be indirect at first. thanks>>41750450looking at this now. thanks
>>41750340this>>41750334this means HAVE SEX WITH YOUR DAUGHTER AND WIFE HER
Honestly hormone replacement therapy is incredibly reversible in amabs and irreversible in afabs. If your kid is amab, your kid could get on hormones right away (its a hard process to get on, honestly start now or diy) and your kid could have a chance at a normal life if they transition or wait two years and a normal passing life as a woman will be inaccessible. Their bone structure is still malleable and like they could actually have a chance as a normal woman if you let them transition. Honestly id still recommend it even if you haven’t fully processed it because its so insanely reversible in amabs
>>41750519Him resenting you and arguing with you may be partially due to him feeling scared of you due to you saying faggot. He may be scared that you found out. Honestly just comfort him and tell him you love him and that so does Christ and there’s nothing wrong with who he is as a trans person.
if he troons out dont abandon him. be a good dad.
you picked the wrong spot to ask this question. you should go on reddit where they won't be like this. this community is not a repersentation of the trans community. we are not all like this. you could try going on to https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/ as well
>>41750334You see this and come to 4chan of all places lol im assuming this is a larp but if it’s real dude you should’ve gone to Reddit lol
>>41750713thats what i said stop copying me
>>41750768I didn’t see your reply sorry
>>41750334Check out Alexis Blake on YouTube. I feel like she's the most sensible and balanced trans influencer. She talks a lot about her journey and how it affected not just her but her loved ones
As people have said, this may not mean anything. maybe it's not even his pin, or maybe he's just thinking about it. Please do talk to him, kindly. In case it turns out he is, I want to toss this two cents in.I first came out in 2005 (FTM/trans man). I hid it at home but was eventually outed, and my immediate family wholeheartedly rejected me for being trans in a very damaging and abusive way. The only supportive person in my family was my grandfather, who was old enough to have been codebreaking in WW2. He did not know what the fuck he was doing, but he led from the heart. He simply asked me what he should call me (name and pronouns). He then said he would try though he would make mistakes because he was kind of a dope (as in, not my fault for being a freak, but his for being an old guy). He said he did not have time left on this earth to waste doing anything but loving me. He looked up trans stuff on his own time and he didn't tell me that how I was was hard for him. He tried. He told me I would do great and I was a fine young man. He was very relaxed and positive. being loved like that has given me a security in myself that has lasted my whole life. It made me feel I was capable of being loved, and that it was possible even for people who didn't know anything about being trans to be supportive and loving. Even when I have so many insecurities and issues and the world is so shitty, at core I can remember what it is to be loved and believed.If your kid is trans, you have the opportunity to do that for him, too.
>>41750334It is quite common to wear trans-supportive badges without being trans. I'd simply return the badge and mention that you'd support them if they decided to explore, and leave it at that unless they engage.(t. 30yo transfem)Also, honestly, 4chan is not a good place for this. Way too much hyperirony for consistently getting good advice around delicate topics.
