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Pharmacies:
› https://www.inhousepharmacy.vu/t-shipping.aspx - Popular in the US. Ships from Vanuatu to some countries.
› euaibolitatgmaildotcom - EU => Worldwide.
› https://unitedpharmacies.md/ (US only) - Ships from HK.
› https://unitedpharmacies-uk.md/ (UK only) - Ships from HK.
› https://alldaychemist.com/ - Ships from India to some countries.
› https://711418.8b.io/ (updated link for shape-shifter.webnode.page) - Turkey => Worldwide.
› https://amazing4health.com/ - Thailand => Worldwide.
› https://favskinhouse.com/ - Thailand => Worldwide.
› https://otc-online-store.com/ - Russia => Worldwide.
› https://www.weborderpharmacy.md/ (US only) - Ships from India.
› https://www.weborderpharmacy-uk.md/ (UK only) - Ships from India.
› https://aipctshop.com/ - Ships from India
› https://www.indiamart.com/ - Ships from India

bump

I think everyone died

>>43972971
this board died years ago, like 95% of the trannies that know shit about hrt left

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hey uh is the girl with the odd dosing regimen around?

what if you determine een lasts only 5 or 6 days can you do like 2 weekly shots to keep your dosing regular instead of doing it every 5? the goal is to flatten the curve right? or am i crazy?

so i could do like 3mg on saturday and 2mg on tuesday and it would be just like 5mg/7 but with a flatter curve and the tail end would have higher levels but i would still have a regular schedule and not forget ?

i cant find the old post in the archive you said something about like ester absorption rate being differently metabolized for different people would this overcome that problem?

>>43972129
yay new hrtgen

>>43973218
yeah, i think having two depots ongoing would shift the PK values

why not just use EUn to get a flat curve and inject more often? i'm taking Deca and i enjoy it because it's just become a flat baseline for me.

Is it normal to feel like shit, just starting out, two days before the second dose of E?

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is 4mg estrogen via gel on my inner thighs every 24 hours enough? i was doing it 2mg every 12 hours scrotally for the initial couple months but switched after reading that it might be too much and the peaks/dips being worse, and now i havent really noticed any more progress after a month or so of switching application (previously had chest tenderness etc) and i cant get a blood test :(. do i have to stick it out and let the levels build up? is every 12hr really the only way to go? (its kind of inconvenient). is it a good idea to go up to 6mg every 24 hours instead? please tell me what to do im stupid, 4-5 months in btw

>>43972129
>MTF Vendor index: https://diyhrt.market/
is this site down?

I've been on pills for 15 months and I'm starting injections soon
>2mg E 2 months
>4mg E 8 months
>6mg E + 200mg Spiro 5 months
Should I start monotherapy right away or stay on AAs for a while?
I was going to do 4mg of Een is that enough for mono or does it need more?

>>43976387
Just doing mono immediately is fine.
4mg een weekly is the minimum for mono, start with that if you can get regular tests and go from there. Otherwise 5/6 a week is fine if you can't get tests but since you're on pills I assume you get tests regularly.

>>43976411
>but since you're on pills I assume you get tests regularly.
:)

>>43975826
Yeah, I think they have a new url now.

(ten) and post
fuck you

someone on twitter said that fin/dut give men depression because they are hrt and they get sad because it feminizes them and so trans women dont experience the same mental side effects?

how true is that? any mtf on fin/dut can attest?

someone also said even topical minox can go systemic through absorption and make your arms and chest hairy? is that true?

im kinda terrified to risk either and have just been sticking with mono but my hair could always be thicker ya know

>>43979333
It's anecdotes but yeah, the depression is a side effect and it's also unknown why it happens, so there's a likelihood of it being dysphoria.
minox is non-selective and can cause hair growth all over

>>43976387
seconding what they said 4mg is pretty standard some people do 3 but only if they have lotsa access and after tests tell them 4 is too high. way more people do 5/6 and dont test(me, so far)

>>43975046
>please tell me what to do
that sounds fucking annoying i would certainly forget. order diy een

>>43973344
>two depots ongoing would shift the PK values
good to know

>>43973344
>>why not just use EUn
im just brainstorming and maybe making up excuses to inject myself more often because placebo feels good. plus i already have the een. and im always collecting information

>>43979356
>so there's a likelihood of it being dysphoria.
yeah thats what they were saying, it causes reverse dysphoria. if thats true then theres like no risk for mtf to add it and perma block dht. and no worries about prog backdoor right?

its just the "fin syndrome" shit that scares the hell out of me cause they say its permanent. same reason i wont fuck with stuff like ssris

>>43979356
>minox is non-selective and can cause hair growth all over
even topical is what they said. i would have saved the $20 if i knew lol i dont use it anyway because i cant be fucked to keep it off the counter or squeegee the shower after hair wash to keep away from kitties who lick water drops. and i cant have it in my pillows or sheets for the same reason and your head looks like a greasy pile if you do it in the morning

this gen told me mono was fine enough and afiact its not getting worse so yeah ok

>>43975826
They were forced to move over to a new domain. I wrote up about it in >>43883950 but here is a copy-and-paste below.

DIYHRT.Market is now called Valerie.vg

For more information, please read https://valerie.vg/rebrand

----

Website: https://valerie.vg

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/valerie.vg

TOR: http://hrtcafepwnxncgj7nic37nb2hrypks5pqj4czzoasj5y7cihdi2gteyd.onion

Where can I get duta + prog diy in the US?

Currently on EEn only but waiting for that 1 year mark to start prog.

I would like to take prog but also prevent backdoor DHT production from prog, duta prevents this.

It seems like there is 0 duta or prog DIY availability in the US, especially since OGL closed down. Do I have to go official Rx route to get both?

!! Below are the full list of DIY homebrewers and raw suppliers as of 21st of June 2026 !!

European Union based homebrewers:
• AstroVials = https://astrovials.com
• Estrapen = https://estrapen.com
• Serapharma = https://serapharma.net
• Celestial HRT = https://celestialhrt.com
• Proleta Labs = https://proletahrt.com

@@@@

United States based homebrewers:
• Hera HRT = https://herahrt.com
• Symphony Labs (mutual aid every month) = https://symphonylabs.cc
• Allie's HRT (mutual aid) = https://allies-site.org
• Ellie's HRT (mutual aid) = https://elle-hrt.pages.dev
• The Cooking Show (mutual aid) = https://thecookingshow.org
• Aurelia Labs (mutual aid) = https://aureliahrt.com

@@@@

Canada based homebrewers:
• Calyx Labs = https://calyxlabs.cc

@@@@

Brazil based homebrewers:
• Otokonoko Pharmaceuticals = https://otkph.am
• Anima Mundi = https://animamundi.gr.com / https://animamundipharma.com

@@@@

Ukraine based homebrewers:
• Lena's HRT = http://lena.kiev.ua/EV/

@@@@

Malaysia based homebrewers:
• MYcare = https://mycarerx.easy.co

@@@@

India based homebrewers:
• Mayaa's HRT (owned by u/LividIndependence900 on Reddit) = https://www.indiamart.com/proddetail/mayaa-estradiol-enanthate-injection-50mg-ml-10ml-vial-2854765915673.html

@@@@

China based raw suppliers:
• Purple Panda Labs = https://purplepandalabs.io
• Dragon Ordnance = https://dragonordnance.com

@@@@

United States based raw suppliers:
• Water Lily Pharmaceutical = https://sites.google.com/view/waterlily-herbal

!! Above are the full list of DIY homebrewers and raw suppliers as of 21st of June 2026 !!

>>43980230
It looks like I can get duta from india. I will order this and have it ready so I can start prog in 9 months, hopefully then prog will be in stock in US.

do you think its a good idea having suppliers send diy hrt to the post office? only other option is my dorm and i dont really like that idea

>>43981119
Send to dorm. If you’re ordering from a US homebrewer there is very little chance the package gets intercepted.

However, if you’re in Florida you’re fucked, they are taking diy packages.

>>43980838
Allies HRT is (temporarily) closed btw

>>43981353
im in western europe and the thing is im afraid the people in my dorm would notice im buying weird stuff, its a small dorm

>>43981586
Do they go thru your shit? The meds arrive in a plain brown box usually, and don't have any indication of it being estrogen if that's what worries you.

>>43981353
What's this about Florida?

>>43981687
Florida feds are building a Rico case on US homebrewers, judges are signing off warrants to open USPS packages from ogl, hera, symphony, etc

>>43981827
I didn't think it was this bad? I thought they were just confiscating vials, never heard about the warrant shit.

>>43981827
I see...I wasn't informed about this. Thank you for letting me know.

>>43981861
Federal US law prohibits opening or seizing of mail without a warrant signed by a federal judge. More than one brewer's packages have been both seized and opened. That can only happen with a warrant. Only way they get a warrant is if there's probable cause. They're likely monitoring the people who ship out vials and what post offices they go to.

Hera's still taking the risk but OGL stopped shipping to Florida because they got spooked, Symphony doesn't ship to Florida either because of their seized packages (doesn't help that they both shipped out of the same city).

>>43982082
That's really scary. Fuck these fascists :/

>>43981827
are you fearmongering? how would feds be able to tell if something is E vs AAS vs Peptide? return addresses are randomized as well; there's really no way they're able to differentiate the contents of a package before opening it.

if you believe this in good faith, i'd ask you to substantiate. if i am able to speculate, i know that peptides are being investigated at customs and by postal inspectors locally, and E brewers are just being hit by the crossfire. Pharma is levering IP to police the grey market use.

if you don't earnestly believe your claim, please stop. access to this stuff saves lives. i don't want to be overly accusatory because if they had intent and were competent, they most certainly could go after them. You can definitely use ML patterns to correlate postage, but again intent and competency.

all brewers have resumed shipping to florida, are they just oblivious if that's the case?

>>43982082
lovely schizo larping, ogl literally exited/retired. brewers don't visit post offices dumbass
jfc, there is no substance behind these claims

>>43982428
No one in roid forums have mentioned domestic shipments being opened up or seized, it's only something that's happened to E homebrewers so far

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Still waiting for reviews from someone who's ordered from Anima Mundi. I really wanna buy their shit but I'm chickening out.

https://animamundipharma.com/pt/shop/hrt/estrogen-therapy/enantato-de-estradiol-2ml-50mg-ml/

>>43983083
please do better DD then. looks like govt is rolling some AI for expressly pharma intercepts both domestic and intl. apprently there was a few vials intercepted in Cincinati too. I also don't think AAS users r as desperate as trans ppl lol. they are somewhat more refined and educated buyers and are more familiar w the nature of things

https://thinksteroids.com/community/threads/ai-customs-and-the-future-of-international-shipments-long-read.134434536/post-3829493

can i get advice on tirzepatide here

Hey HRTgen, how do I fatmax? Diet changes are not working: I can eat a thousand kcal per second and keep barelly above underweight bc my metabolism is faster than a sports car.

+Got told to wait 2 year mark for pio so... any alternatives?

>>43983122
My shit should arrive in the next few days

>>43983315
This is all because RFK is trying to deschedule testosterone btw. Make it harder to access from the black market through customs and usps enforcement, people turn to paying big pharma instead.

>>43982480
people in here were saying symphony is an ogl rebrand

>>43983459
i guess that answers intent and competency. anything to suck pharma's fat one.

>>43983506
it's not. again, open to everyone, not just you, please stop schizo posting. most of the time it's untrue and it either harms either the community or brewers. literally, i hope it's naiivete and not someone adversarial.

>>43983315
The Cincinnati bust was a producer/distributor, not an end user buying a single vial.

I've searched meso, sst, eroids, no one has mentioned domestic seizures for personal orders. The speculation about domestic mail monitoring is probably true, but there's no evidence they're currently conducting busts of small domestic shipments. It's a waste of resources to get a judge to sign off on a domestic mail warrant every time the AI spots a single vial, unless it was part of a wider investigation into a seller.

why do these goobers never fud the mutal aid brewers i wonder

>>43983571
https://arctic-shift.photon-reddit.com/search?fun=ids&ids=t3_1u30m9f

>>43982428
>E vs AAS vs Peptide
or insulin, or bacteriostatic water, or perfume or juice or paint lol

>>43983618
do homebrewers use counterfeit postage?

>>43982082
>Only way they get a warrant is if there's probable cause.
and thats an incredibly low bar to establish. cops can cut your fucking car seats open because they lie about something smelling funny. doesnt mean shit

>>43981861
a search warrant is not an arrest warrant, let alone a conviction. that doesnt mean they wont arrest and hold you anyway for intimidation, even as far as sending you to a domestic blacksite with no call to a lawyer if you get political about it, but they will do that anyway for prostitution just cause your a visible troon.

this is not a real change its just the same thing as always

>>43983656
this is like speeding past a cop with broken turn signals after you pick up a zip of dank

only break one law at a time. just blend in. the postman is not going to open your generic brown box and has no idea what is in it they just do their job.

So am I just screwed if I live in America or specifically Florida? Might as well continue repping then.

>>43983705
don't be a repper, retard
homebrewer competitors fudding eachother on hrtgen doesn't mean shit in the real world. just buy your vial and transition

>>43983739
Sorry I'm just paranoid is all, and confused about if it's actually something to be concerned over or another nothingburger.

>>43980838
who ARE you and how do you know everything

>>43983441
Wait for a hrtgen to be made and review it there pls
Do subcutaneous hopefully

is 4mg every 5 days with cypro 25 mg every 2 days way too high a dose?

>>43984243
I do IM, SubQ is worse I heard, but I can try it... what is the needle?

>>43984354
I would say no, but it is your levels that should tell

>>43984390
yeah it feels like maybe it was a bit high to start with from reading some of this stuff but getting tested first time soon so I'll see....

>>43984381
>I heard
i heard it doesnt matter

https://pghrt.diy/#S5.SS7

>>43984502
Fair, still need to know what gauge I should take though

My friend recently got prescribed 2mg estradiol twice daily, but no blocker. Am I right thinking that this isn't going to do anything? I distribute DIY and know how to dose estrogen injections but I'm puzzled by this pill dosage.

>>43984546
o sry im nta. i use 29 ga half inch. i wish i got smaller than 1ml tho cause its hard to measure 0.1. i think they sell half mils and third mils

https://pghrt.diy/#S5.SS16
>As a baseline, 25G is the minimum needle gauge that you should use to manage discomfort. Most common carrier oils can generally do up to 27G comfortably, whereas MCT oil in particular is notable for being able to easily do 30G (see Question 6.16).

go for as small as u can so it hurts less. other people might have xp w 30 or 31. i think i just followed ogl recommend but the page is delete

>>43984565
that sounds pretty temu not even a spiro prescription is cray

>>43984608
Ok, I am not scared of pain though, 30x7 intramuscular is the worse it gets

>>43984381
I use insulin syringes with 31g needles (Astrovials vial)
It's MCT oil so it works
Subq is really fucking slow, it'll take 7 to 10 days to enter your bloodstream
Subq is slow aw hell but far more comfortable than intramuscular and less nasty

>>43984680
Se vc é brasileira compra na farmácia msm seringa de insulina
50 reais vem 10
Pede por "seringa de insulina 6 por 25 de 50 unidades", essa é 31g
checa de na embalagem tá escrito "U-100", é essa mesmo
Injeção intramuscular com 30 x 7 é TENSO

>>43984680
Me add no telegram: xuxuboladao
Eu te ensino os paranauê

>>43984905
Mas a 30x7 que é a de insulina

bump

>>43981636
sry for not answering i went to sleep

i have already ordered things at my dorm and they ask me what they are. since i dont know how the package really is and how the vials are packaged, maybe it could be really easy to tell theyre vials and if i lied and said books or smth they may think it suspicious
maybe im just paranoid but regardless is it a bad idea to send it to the post office? if nobody can legally seize my parcels i should be fine right?

i want to start hrt in mexico but all rhe websites to order on online look shady as fuck and its lowkey scary as hell, but i wanna do injections bc im late as fuck (26) and ive heard theyre way more effective, any recommendations?

>>43986633
The sites linked in this thread are legitimate. Yes, do injections, they're good. Depending on which ester you choose you'll inject at different intervals, most of us opt for enanthate because it's the cheapest usually.
Most forms of hrt are equally as effective, inejctions are just generally better especially for DIY.

>>43986633
Astrovials is legit, don't sweat it
Buy their enanthate and be happy

How much muscle/strength loss can I expect? I don't really work out much at all currently yet I'm so strong it's stupid

>>43987376
idk. best to start working out to be safe though (AFTER starting hrt, otherwise it'll moiden you cause growth hormones and shit)

>>43987376
You'll either lose all muscle or lose no muscle at all.

Entirely dependant on genetics.

>>43987585
Just to be clear, "after starting hrt" is after 1-2 months when your levels stabilize right

I got a 10 ml * 40mg/ml vial of EEn can I finish it before it all goes bad or is always going to be partly wasted?

>>43987743
sure why not

>>43987781
What do you mean by going bad and partially wasted?

>>43987781
Most of the time you can. Aslong as you don't contaminate it it will be fine, the expiry dates are just there to cover their asses. My estrogen from VC (rest in power) has an expiry date of 4.5 years.
Unopened vials should last indefinitely but I probably wouldn't keep them for longer than 4-ish years, just a personal thing

>>43972129
How discreet is Symphony?

>>43987840
I saw some posts unrelated to hrt that said that you should only use a vial for one month after opening. Which I guessed was bogus but I wanted to make sure.

>>43987987
Yeah thats if you get your injectables through a perscription, they don't like you using one vial for too long because of Big Pharma, so you get a new one every month even though that's retarded.

>>43987959
I just ordered from them I'll let you know when it gets here

>>43987987
It's ok don't worry
Draw the oil using a 31 g subcutaneous needle so you do core the vial after 10 punctures

>>43988394
So you don't*

>>43988002
what do they make them to go off or are they just lying

>>43988690
It's just a precaution. Official medication is much stricter than what we do here lolol. Also typically official injectables have much lower concentration so you're injecting more at once.

>>43986066
>and if i lied
tell them its personal and to fuck off? its mail that is a private thing. its even a health thing, that is legally protected in many places.

>>43987376
i have a physical job and i shoulders and legs have gotten bigger despite losing weight, but i also switched to high protein at the same time, while everything else is as expected, fat distro already working.

it seems like it takes a long time, like years, which makes sense because it took years to very slowly get these arms/shoulders. and they say women can only gain 0.5 lbs of muscle a month. i wouldnt be surprised if you can only lose that much without starving yourself to the point of putting hair nails bones and buns at risk. im doing creatine too tho, like the pgh rec says

>>43990801
>tell them its personal and to fuck off
well thats scary im a total social misfit but i guess i could try

i still dont know if its a good idea to send it to the post office tho
i live in spain if that matters

>>43984354
Is this pills? Because cypro should be at 12.5mg everyday and I think you bumping up the E to 6mg throughout the day is better overall, thought I think injections are better but I can't get them due to my fucking circumstances fuck my life :(

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Is blue a bad idea?

>>43992714
Yes unless you want a rollercoaster

>>43992735
I need to larp as cis for the rest of my life so yes I do, does it sound like a good idea now?

Is losing weight before starting HRT so once I start HRT i can gain weight in the right places a good idea? Not like, starving myself, but I could lose a few pounds for sure.

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So I started about 3 months ago, did the first month at 2mg and the next two months at 4mg oral estradiol.
I got my labs back, my T is completely suppressed. My endo bumped me up to 6mg and said I can stop spiro.
I'm not sure what to think. Were my balls just broken already?

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bump

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>>43972138
So I checked out a few of these that don't say anything about crypto. Will I still need that to make a payment or is that only for smaller vendors?

>>43997639
which are they?

>>43988271
Thank you <3

>>43992856
i would say so yeah but you also probly have to be on it for a little while before you gain. so depending on your discipline and ability to time it and how much you want to lose you might want to shift that around. except i think everyone is different so you kinda have to guess. i started losing a few months before and held it down for a few months after.

bump

Is otokonoko pharmaceuticals legit? It has good reviews but are there lab test results?
It is the only one i could find that ships to my 3rd world shithole and is in stock

eat healthy or lose weight? not fat but it's possible weight loss while on hrt may have harmed breast growth

>>43999475
otk is legit yes
their brewing methods are sketchy but they've been reliable

>>43999491
eat healthy and exercise regularly. weight cycling doesn't work

What is the issue of cypro causing prolactin to rise? Can it be fine?

bump

>>43972129
162 pg/ml estradiol enanthate monotherapy, 9mg every 7 days
0.6 nmol/L testosterone
should I increase dose? t seems fine but e is a little low

is estrapen seriously out of stock? I messaged the signal account but haven't gotten any response yet

>>43998575
>>43992856
Unintentionally been starving myself a bit since about January (bmi was 20.5 back then; I'd guess it's my average) due to poverty and some other shit going on. Started hrt four months later.
Still in starvation mode and my bmi is stalled at about 19.5 (I don't know if I measured my weight with full, normal or empty intestines/stomach). Not that many physical changes yet (except for slight buds) and I'll probably be in starvation mode for a while longer. Kind of excited to see what my body will do once I can eat again.

im a fucking idiot i dropped my vial and it left a dent in the outer ring on top however the fuck its called
can i use it anyway
please please please tell me i dont have to get a new one now holy shit

>>44001836
its fine

>>44001923
are you sure???

>>43999641
the high prolactin can cause a brain tumor called a prolactinoma, if you got one you'd have to take dopamine agonists for the rest of your life which can change your personality, if it's too big you'd need brain surgery.

>>44001934
as long as you can still draw your medication out it's fine

>>44001985
yeah ok but is it safe?? im afraid its not sterile anymore or whatever

>>44001997
Post a pic of it.
I'd be concerned about the glass being fractured within the rim and glass getting into the liquid. Maybe you can see it through the vial.
As for sterility, I'd hold it upside down and see if there is any bubbles coming in or any leakage.

>>44002056
honestly im too paranoid to use it now
thanks anyway

>>43999491
>harmed breast growth
impossible to tell but i dont think so. as soon as i started gaining they bounced back. all thought i would kinda appreciate it if they didnt

in fact...are there suppliments vitamins or herbs to keep them small, or something with less side effects than SERM?

>>44001836
I dropped my vial and dented the metal like 4 months ago. Been injecting from it with no issue, aslong as the rubber seems to work normally and the liquid looks like it did before you're fine.

>>43999633
>eat healthy and exercise

https://pghrt.diy/#S11.SS15
>11.15 Does exercise affect feminization?
>growth hormones from muscle stimulation via strength training also play a role in breast development

>weight cycling doesn't work
depends what you mean. big fast swings are bad

i'm on 4x2mg estradiol tablets daily for 8mg total, labs showed estradiol level at 159 pg/mL and total testosterone at 20ng/dL. t is suppressed with 22.5mg triptodur injection every 6 months.

for the first 9 months i was on patches, started with 1 0.1mg/day transdermal patch every 3.5 days and then went to 2 every 3.5 days and i felt like they kind of sucked.

did the patches fuck up my potential with breast growth or anything? i'm 10 months in and feel as though i hardly have anything to show for it.

>>44001084
I went from 20->16.5 december to april and am now at 17.5. it all came back in the right places, the only place i dont like is my lower stomach but it was too hard to lose the last like 1/4 inch cause i stalled out too and so of course it went right back there, but thankfully not exclusively and most to other places. like im 15 lbs above my minimum and still look about the same as i did then. i did a really big deficit and it probably would have been better to do slightly higher and zig zag. i definitely shook a few stalls loose by loading an extra 500 cal of carbs every two weeks or so but it would have been way more effective if i were consistent

i might be a "responder" or whatever cause that seems really fast and i could have probly switch to bulk even faster, but i was fully ready for this to take years and wanted to take my time and lock in but i ended up caving and binging, but then suffered zero consequences lmao. but the calcs say im as active as a pro athlete and i dont gym at all so ymmmv a lot

>>44002294
if you can afford it or have a backup than whatever. but just look up the anatomy or a diagram of a vial. the stopper is a fuckhuge chunk of rubber, having a dent in the crimp wont effect it at all all it does is hold the stopper from popping out. it definitely didnt break the seal

>>44002819
Aside from work, I'm not really active. Only playing some guitar, maybe walk 2km a day and some... sub calisthenics every few weeks (whenever I feel like it), so most of my energy demand is from my brain I guess. Still, I got a decent amount of muscles.
My body manages to avoid going above 165lb with me doing nothing and eating a lot, so I'm very surprised my weight doesn't drop below 143lb.

>lower stomach
I'm bloated all the damn time and I hate it so much. No matter what I eat.
Makes me look fatter than I am and is uncomfortable to painful a lot. Probably gotta do some situps or there's something wrong with my connective tissue there.

>>44002982
>I'm bloated all the damn time and I hate it so much. No matter what I eat.
i am too a lot bc i eat a ton of salt.

idk if you count calories accurate, i do and it works really well, like to the gram including condiments. i have an excel with all my common foods and their macros and micros. when i tracked sodium it eliminated bloat but gave me fatigue and i almost fainted lol. when i cut refined carbs, added sugar and added salt, and i supplement potassium while restrict calories like 25% below maintenance the bloat evaporates and i lose like 10 pounds in 4 days and my abs start popping.

also you weigh basically the same as me but im probly way taller. i overate like crazy last winter and hit 165 and got all flabby but im usually 148 all the time with intuitive eating.

>>44001084
>(I don't know if I measured my weight with full, normal or empty intestines/stomach)
you want to weight the same time every day. the most consistent is immediately after waking up, after bathroom, before drinking or eating anything, which is kinda hard. i usually have a sip of coffee anyway. but this means your weight is empty, fasted, dry weight every day. i also weigh nights after shower or right before bed but it fluctuates way way more depending on if you drank water right before lol. and instead of daily weight you really want to pay attn to the 7 day average. dailies can move by stupid amounts, like 5 lbs regular but up to 15 in some cases and its very annoying. when you are in deep deficit morning and night will be like 2 lbs apart, but in bulk it spreads huge like 10 lbs and can even flip.

>>44002730
>>44002835
i really hate all of this bullshit
its literally sisyphean
all of this wiping and injecting and worrying just to do it all over again next week
it has to be god's way of giving a taste of hell to the sexually deranged, a literal neverending humiliation ritual

>>44003314
tell me about it :(
last week i fucked up my dose so i slightly underdosed myself which caused insane emotional issues yesterday, spent half the day at my pc weeping because of the disgusting everythingiswrong feeling

>>44003314
i guess im just dumb cause i kinda like it. a lot of times im disappointing that i don't get to inject on saturdays since i do it on sundays. im like its the weekend its time let me do it!

>>44003183
I haven't put the effort into actually tracking anything. Only the stuff that I'm allergic to and what ever else gives me major issues, but no details like nutrient or their amounts.
I really really should investigate further.
Also I'm pretty much exactly 6'.

Inconsistency is my life, kind of, so I only measure every few days to every few weeks at random daytime.

>>44003354
Been having massive mood swings all my life, including that same feeling since I was a teen. At times, I had bad depressive episodes, breakdowns or panic attacks almost daily. It's fucking tiring. By now (month 3), it feels like hrt has better effects than "regular" meds (stopped taking those at some point for some reason), although I'm not sure if that's from just having started hrt or the neurological effects.

>>44003314
One of the very very few things I've been consistent with.

>>44003454
I do it on Friday right after work. Gives me at least something to look forward to during the week. God I fucking hate work.

>>44003515
>I haven't put the effort into actually tracking anything
i was kinda messing around for the first couple months til i stalled then starting counting. its really easy to miscount portions by 3-500 cals when guessing and that can easily put you in surplus. esp fat and also sugar. a tiny bit of olive oil or dressing can be like 200 cals alone

and when you lose weight maintenance cals goes down a bit and adaptation makes it go down even more so you could potentially flip to surplus while eating the same amount!

>>44003515
>it feels like hrt has better effects than "regular" meds
holy shit does it. i was thinking about this yesterday. even if i cry more now everything is so much more intense and im like actually connected to my emotions and they make sense. sometimes its overwhelming but its also kinda nice to just let it take you. and the intensity applies to the good too of course

>>44003515
Estrogen fixed my mood.
I don't have the deep gross depression anymore, now im just normal sad. Im able to get out of bed easier and such. So happy i decided to diy hrt instead of taking the ssri my gp offered when she first refered me to the gender clinic (which im still in the queue for HAHAHAAHAHA :3 )
Its like yeah we could give you the hormones youre asking us for which would literally fix your wellbeing but you see we cant for uhhh reasons??? :) but heres these meds that will literally wreck your brain. they wont make you feel better, theyll just make you not feel anything at all!

>>44002730
>>44002835
im going to inject but if i die im coming to look for you in hell, beware. :D

>>44002730
>>44002835
injection done
really clean one for once surprisingly, no blood, just stabbed through my skin and pressed the plunger without any hesitation and without going in and out a hundred times like usually
will report back tomorrow if im still alive

Wall of text, wall of text

>>44003877
>>44003906
I may have anhedonia, straight-up alexithymia or I'm just unable to properly realize what I'm feeling when sober - aside from intense negative (anger, sadness) and intense positive/stimulating (flow state or lust but not lasting happiness etc.). At the same time, the right note at the right time in a song or specific songs (with some context around them, like soundtracks) can make me cry my eyes out over the beauty of the sound waves or weep in sorrow (without a specific reason; sometimes music just causes an extreme sadness in me) very easily, not making me want to an hero but giving me the desire not (have) exist(ed) at all. Songs that won't be played at work or in public in general. I even managed to have a kind of surprise orgasm from listening to music, but that happened only once. So in general it's very hard to tell what it's like to feel in a normal way and I've been kind of overwhelmed very often.
A recent and very significant realization I had was that, when I looked down along my body and ran my hands over it, I felt... content with myself, liking myself a little bit even, after not having felt that either in a long time or at all - I don't remember; I barely have any memories, especially from childhood and early teens.
Perhaps I should add notes about that to the sheet I use for tracking injections (instead of not using my almost untouched mood diary).

SARIs and NaSSAs ain't got shit on hrt I guess.
So even when the baked me still has some doubts, I decided the sober me is dominant in decisions and the way forward.
And yeah, I'm happy I started diy too :3

>>44004470
yeah a lot of that is very relatable. idk i do a lot of content contemplation now instead of worrying catastrophizing. i was thinking about it and to sum it up "i havent felt this happy since i was a kid" and thinking a little more, yeah i probably havent just like woken up excited about some mundane thing and just had a good carefree day like a saturday where i watch cartoons and ride bikes with friends since....wait for it.... before puberty. surprise.

i also i hadnt just listened to music and really enjoyed it like that since like high school. thats like over a decade of just not experiencing life

>I may have anhedonia
still now or? cause i definitely 100% did before and knew it for a long time, but at first it was really hard to detect and i thought that meant depression was over but i was just numb to it

its still bad sometimes but at least theres some variability, and its often positive. i used to mutter nin lyrics to myself regularly "every day is exactly the same". not anymore

Gotta love 4chan therapy session <3
>>44004721
>before puberty
Bunch of shit happened back then. 0/10, wouldn't recommend. Definitely fucked me up for life and I slowly started to learn to live again not too long ago.
One of the more memorable days since I started hrt was when I actually managed to get my first hair removal appointment. Woke up early, took a shower and, despite having had to work that day, had a good day.
>music
I've always enjoyed music a lot, especially the kind that lets me feel something. But in the past few years I grew to love it even more, because I noticed how different my sense of hearing seems to be, allowing me to do and feel things others can't apparently.
>still now or?
Yeah, but it might have started to fade away. Not sure about that just yet, as it might just be a depression cycle from fuckthislife to tryingtoliveon with the former hitting once summer is over at the latest.
>every day is exactly the same
Literally me. I still do that occasionally, but that's mostly due to work and finances being shit. Guess I did acquire a bit of self worth, self respect and sense of self (might even be unmasking in progress).

>>43983837
I'm a DIY homebrewer from the UK (England) who does mutual aid within my local community.