What the hell is "emotional intelligence" and is it even possible for me to score better than an F on it as a cisgender male? I'm constantly being evaluated against my partner's standards benchmark for cisgender female friends and cisgender female exes and I literally can't. Do I just give up? If I show any emotions or vulnerability whatsoever I'm "emotionally dysregulated" or "unstable" and "using [my partner] as a therapist". But if I keep my shit together as I'm supposed to I'm told I need to get 15 years of therapy and "working on myself" before I'm allowed to ever date someone. What the FUCK am I supposed to do other than crawl back into the womb and respawn this time with ovaries and a vagina so I can be judged as an individual. This is why I'm going to die alone.
>>45066091I don’t think you understand what emotional intelligence is
>>45066330Or! Maybe you don't like men, you just like the idea of being with men because of social factors
>>45066091Stop listening to cisgender women
>>45066382No I like men, I don’t like losers who can’t hold down jobs and cry at the bar
>>45066091>I'm told I need to get 15 years of therapy and "working on myself" before I'm allowed to ever date someoneIs your partner in therapy?Some people get therapy and are like, "wow, this is great! Everyone should get therapy!" without realizing that maybe that massive benefit is idiosyncratic to them. Like, yeah, if you're not neurotypical and have a lifetime of baggage from being forced to conform to neurotypical society, then therapy is going to make a massive difference! But if someone is neurotypical, generally functional in life, doesn't have much to complain about, then maybe therapy isn't worth the effort and real monetary cost. Not that it wouldn't have positive benefits, but those benefits may not be worth the hardship for a minimum-wage service worker who can't schedule anything else until they see their work schedule for the week.And then there's the class of people in therapy who are like, "this is kinda shameful for me and I feel broken, but it makes me feel slightly better if I assume everyone around me is equally broken and is just pretending they're normal. If anything, the fact I'm actually working on my shit makes me better than them!"I'm not saying it's a good idea to be some stoic, emotionally-dead and closed off stereotype of a cisgender man. But I think it's kinda moronic for people to be like, "I don't feel emotional intimacy with you because you never talk about your emotions the way I do."I work an office job that is pretty easy, even if it takes up a lot my day and I feel like I don't have as much personal time as I'd like. I'm financially secure as a result of that job, and I can afford literally anything I feel a desire to purchase (I just don't desire much), and I have enough money saved up that my needs would be met for at least a decade even with no other income. My family was very supportive growing up. What the fuck do you expect me to have giant emotional narratives about? Life is awesome, if a little boring sometimes!
>>45066556>the only men I can pull are alcoholic NEETsAre you fat? Can't control your "genetics"? There's ozempic for that now.
>>45066578That’s a lot of assumptions, none of which are true. I am not single and my bf isn’t a loser and neither am I. You seems to have anger problems, I wish you the best with whatever chip is on your shoulder
>>45066091Emotional intelligence is where you’re more emotionally mature and aware of your own emotions, don’t default to toxic emotional responses, and know how to regulate your emotions.Emotional dysregulation is where you may struggle sharing your emotions in a healthy capacity: such as only able to accomplish an “on/off” state of dumping too much all at once and exhausting your listener, -or- bottling up your emotions and never sharing them as to appear “emotionally mature” when in reality those unexpressed emotions can fester and impact your personal life subconsciously until released.To be emotionally intelligent is to find a balance when venting for emotions (but not overdoing it), using appropriate self-soothing tools to address duress, effectively having a healthier stability over your emotions (and again not just bottling your emotions to attempt at accomplishing this).
>>45066559Yeah they're in therapy, of course. And my life isn't awesome and perfect nor is my childhood the normal rockwell life but all I can do is try to be good to others and not be too hard on myself, it's exhausting to have everything I do described in therapist jargon all the fucking time. Oh I did something wrong today? Clearly it's a sign that they seek to reproduce a bunch of learned toxic relationship dynamics through dating me and I'm the literal physical manifestation of all their childhood traumas and I serve as a cautionary example for why their dating habits are broken because I'm just like their ex. Oh I did something right today? Oh no, that means I'm a "people pleaser" and/or "I have no boundaries". Can't say shit either or I'm being "defensive" and "not everything is about [me]" when "all they were looking for was some empathy". Keep my mouth shut though and I'm being "avoidant".Cis men don't do this, they just get mad when I don't instantly head over to their place at 2 AM because they're horny, I don't condone that either but at least it's easy to understand and I can talk about it without feeling like my words are being documented to be used against me later. Thank you for watching please like and subscribe.>>45066657We both know you don't wish anyone the best, you just came into this thread because you saw someone was having a bad day and you thought it would be fun to punch them while they were down, but hey that's what 4chan is for isn't it?
>>45066774>we both know you don’t wish the best for anyonenta but im starting to see where your partner(s) have mentioned your emotional flaws. One being how defensive you’re getting when interpreting a post as if it’s challenging your character when it’s just an innocuous statement about your presumed knowledge on the subject.
>>45066877A most surprising and unexpected style of reply
>>45066900keep your pride and live in the dark then
