What no thread prompt?

>linking back to wrong thread again
How is it even possible to fuck this up? Too bad they don't hand out medals to failures, you'd be championship material

>>23521493
Thread prompt: Write an essay from the point of view of a decent human being, instead of a terminally-online seething asshole.
>>23521623
Previous: >>23512796

Let’s make it a good thread this time, people, and not engage in any of that fantasy or sci fi shit. There’s already a thread for those retards.

>>23521623
Last never existed because it was shit

How interested would you guys be in reading the first thousand words of my manuscript

>>23521776
Sure that would be fine

>>23521776
I’m not setting aside a whole half a day for your shitty writing, faggot.

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>this is your average 13-year-old SEA kid

I'm genuinely fucking horrified.

>>23521862
...how fucking slow do you read?

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I wrote this little poem inspired by picrel. Thoughts?

Be cold to me, you whore, and laugh at me;
Defame, scorn, slander, mock me, chilling ire;
For daring to adore you humblely,
Fill me with shame, presumption of desire--
Bring forth the winter killing everything,
An icy loneliness that drives insane;
Frigidly cold do your offenses sing,
And even colder freeze my tears with pain. ----
But know my flame will burn intense till spring:
In mine and yours will bloom the sweetest flowers--
The melting snow the purest water will bring--
Love you will show me, and with kisses shower.

>>23521629
>Write an essay from the point of view of a decent human being, instead of a terminally-online seething asshole.
I can't relate to that

>>23518866
>My mc is a super pacifist beta male that also has a harem of hot girls lusting after him because uhhh he's kind I guess
My friend you have written an anime, this isn't subversive.

>>23521888
At first I was annoyed at the pompousness, but I have to admit that I like his style, His aurate vocabulary and variegated manner of expression do ingratiate him to my soul.

It's hot outside, the World is alive with possibility, and I am indoors writing prose that no sane person will ever place their eyes upon.
But for some reason I prefer it this way.

>>23521410
Someone mentioned limitations of magic were what made it interesting when I mentioned the idea of a tribe using radiation based magic that they were not personally harmed by

An idea I thought of was that while they themselves were immune, their environment was not and their free use of it led to severe damage. Thus necessitating the tribe self impose limitations on where and when to use the magic so as to not make their home uninhabitable

What's a good landscape for a radiation scarred biome? I didn't want a desert as I feel that's overused but I also wanted the environment to be relatively hard to live in.

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Why do so many crabs think "good prose" means making your shit an unreadable slog with no plot?

I'd rather a good story written in caveman speak than a bunch of pretty words saying nothing. The first is a pulp, the second is a thesaurus.

>>23522031
It sounds like you should stick to comic books. Lots of BAM and POW is more your style.

>>23521938
Bravo

>>23522051
Keep writing an entire page of nothing, buddy. You do you.

>>23522058
Meant for >>23521962

>>23521776
https://www.docfly.com/editor/4bf1e984b1787bd8c7d0/7q1v3vd20nw-ed33efd1

it gets deleted in 24 hours. i'm writing non-fiction in case that's not your thing

>>23522013
Radiation magic is basically curse magic (i.e., magic that causes diseases and death).

>>23522067
huh it doesn't even work, I uploaded it here then
https://files.catbox.moe/vh1p6u.pdf

>>23522072
>put enough refined curse ore together with a curse powder in an assembly and you get a gigantic explosion that curses the very land

>>23522072
Yeah but how would the landscape look like if overuse of the magic scarred the land?

I was thinking there'd be a lot of really hyper aggressive flora and fauna due to the radiation speeding up mutations

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>>23521888
13-year-old SEA kids know how to use chatgpt/gemini??????

>>23521888
This is what proooosers sound like to me.

>>23522209
Unironically look up the effects of Chernobyl. Radiation fucks spiders up.

How much do I need to pay to have someone go through my story line by line and tell me what's wrong, how it can be fixed, and what things I need to focus on to become a better writer?

>>23522268
how many words is it? i'll send you my paypal

Would I use a semi-colon here instead of the colon?
>As the crooked trees flew by in a blur, something caught his attention: footsteps, heavy and fast.

>>23522274
3000 words but I don't have money I was just curious

>>23522282
generally the going rate is 5 cents per word. so 3000 words would be $150

>>23521667
oh great a non fantasy/sci fi author. I'd love to read your work

Reminder that "literary fiction" is just the drama genre.

Does creating original content as part of an (may Allah for give me for uttering these words) "expanded universe" of a real-world mythological tradition count as fantasy?

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>>23522258
Reading up, it fucked up some birds too. Made their brains smaller. I think I'll have it where formerly beautiful and pleasant birds became hyper aggressive dumber predators. Probably like the "pelican" from Junji Ito

>>23522383
If you do that and do it well you can get away with any nomenclature. Expanding mythologies is based.

>>23522383
No, I love using mythological bits in my stories. I wrote about a painting recently (translated to ESL)

> And there was Hercules Consuming the Water of Lethe. The greek demigod, his lionskin tossed aside on a nearby rock, was laying down on the shore and drinking his fill of blackened waters. His skinless back exposing his muscles, which the painter had replicated with anatomical precision.

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How does one even find time to write while working 40-70 hours a week? I want to write so bad but I have to take care of mundane everyday shit when I get home and end up only having the time/energy to shit out a few hundred words a few times a week. Is this really as good as it's going to get?

>>23521410
Almost finished with my isekai. Just five chapters left. Hopefully the first draft will be done by July.

>>23522901
Honestly, I saves the writing for post-contract. Work a job, finish it, write afterwards, find a new job. Just do one thing at a time.

>>23522901
Or writing ís your work and then you'd likely be doing it in a workweek, which would amount to the same.

>>23522585
Wew, skinless?

>>23522943
That sounds like decent advice, unfortunately at the point where I'm at with my career it's very hard to take a break for any reasonable amount of time, I pretty much have to keep pushing for the next 1.5 years at least.
I guess there's always the rest of my life, huh

What's a setting you think is underrated and one that is overrated or underutilized in horror short stories and novels?

>>23521629
kek
>>23522329
It's erotica.

>>23523196
Hospitals, old houses, schools are all played out. I can't recall a single story about a golf course or nail salon.

>>23523196
>underrated
Corporate/office settings. I wrote a short horror story like that recently, set in a kind of neo-medieval world where the MC is essentially martyred for the good of his company.

>>23522291
No way it's five cents a word. "Acclimatization" maybe, but it shouldn't be the same price as "is".

>>23523236
>I can't recall a single story about a golf course
Caddyshack

>>23523250
I don't read as much as I should but I must have missed the novel.

>>23523247
I don't set the prices. One of those "if you have to ask" things.

I thought it was like 0.02 cents a word

>>23523391
>0.02 cents a word
that's closer to reality

>>23521771
And that’s your fault, you piece of shit.

I must be clinically retarded because I've been trying to set up for an hour how to do a page number footer in OpenOffice and I can't get it to work. I should just pay the $500 to a formatter.

>>23522275
A colon. Remember that a semicolon is used like a period, i.e. the portion following it would have to work as an independent sentence.

>>23522353
If literary fiction is the "drama" genre, then why is it so boring? It's more like the "rich people whining about rich people problems" genre.

>>23523721
Rich people don’t have problems. Or beautiful people.

>>23523748
Sure they do. Mostly alcoholism. Proust literally wrote 7 volumes of "woe is me I'm so rich". Same with "Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh.

>>23523748
Wes Anderson debunked that and he wasn't a nepo baby. Not by nepo standards.

It would seem that /wg/ is a predominantly American group. Always slows down around 10:00 or so in the states.

>>23524038
And yet, somehow, most of the writers are ESL-grade.

>>23524042
>most
all

>>23524148
That's not true. I write real good.

>>23524042
Anon, at least 50% of the US is spic, while 10% is nigger, and 1-10% is Asian.
European-descended Whites are a minority (as expected of a jewish nation).

>>23522954
What's wrong with it?

Where the hell did my angry post about footnotes go? I swear I hit submit yesterday.

>>23523702
Retards keep the wheels of economy turning

>>23522901
Writing is art. Beside talent, you need courage and commitment. It's not for wageslaves.

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So I wanted to write my setting's backstory like those old game manuals, particularly Diablo and Starcraft.

Are there any other games with cool backstories in the manual like those? I'm kind of a zoomer so I never got many of those growing up.

A question that is probably asked often here, but: how do I start? I have a love of reading and would love to write, but I don't know the best way to start practicing. How did you get your start?

>>23524302
I had an idea and though it was cool enough to be a book then wrote down the general idea, wrote a completely shitty first draft in a week, then looked up writing advice online to see all the problems I had to fix.

>>23524302
I tried to get started a few times
>First time, I spent a few days sketching a magic system in a notebook and started writing. Didn't get far, maybe 4k words? It wasn't going anywhere so I lost interest
>Second and third time, switched to an Excel document, so I needed to sit down on my computer to plan. I had some scenes in my mind but I never made the jump and started to write, eventually lost interest in both (may pick back the first one day)
>Fourth time, I switched to a google doc spreadsheet so I could just laze around in my couch watching tv and type. Immediatly had more success, because I could just do it essentially anywhere in my house. I spent about four months just writing tidbits about the setting, until eventually I had enough of an idea on what part of it I wanted to use for my plot. Then I started coming up with characters who each had a different opinion on the setting's main particularity (it's a story about gods and madness). Eventually I had the main story beats down (as in, "I know what I need to end chapter 5 and 10 on, we'll just see what comes up when I get to that"). Everything was (and still is) very much half-form, I have a spreadsheet with all my characters, their names, appearances, powers, personality, relationships to others... it's maybe 10% filled in. It's a tool, not a report. I started writing from chapter 1 and in total I've probably written like 40k words, the vast majority of which I've deleted and replaced with something that appealed more to me.

>>23524302
Imitation, study, and practice.
Nowadays imitation is demonized, but it was common practice since ancient times: after all, if someone has reached perfection, why wouldn't you imitate them?
The ancients also read and studied arduously. Nowadays people say "just write!", muh stream of consciousness, or muh free writing, so no wonder most literature is shit.
Practice is important, but the key is thoughtfulness. Writing mindlessly with no standards will be just that: mindless meaningless worthless text.

I recommend reading "Classical Rhetoric for the Modern Student" by Edward P. J. Corvett and "Artful Sentences" by Virginia Tufte.
Study the concepts and practice with their exercises. Then read what you like, study the style, and write what you want.

Why does it seem like 90% of the Youtube writing advice videos are made by women?

>>23524401
It's the target audience.
I'm in a beta-reader forum and I'm pretty certain 90% of the others are women or writing about women protagonists.

>>23524401
Because youtube's search algorithm offers you content based on your view history.

>>23524401
Writing is an easy skill to fake

>>23524447
No, it's the most difficult skill to fake, since almost everyone in the world has the ability to confirm the result (or lack thereof).

>>23524401
you can complain about it as much as you like but ask yourself how many of your guy friends read

>>23524489
Its the easiest skill to fake since anyone can do it and most people have no real standard.

>>23524401
I still don’t understand the prose style these YouTube videos are forcing people to conform to:
- Third person POV, but write it like first person.
- Show, don’t tell. Except when the protagonist breaks the fourth wall to give their Marvel tier quips.
- Don’t use adverbs/adjectives. You must use extremely cliche copy-paste phrases like clenched fists, furrowed brows, or whipped head instead.
- Don’t use filler words like: “that”, “just”, or “starts to”, even when it’s grammatically correct to do so.
- Etc.
Who exactly are they trying to imitate, and why?

>>23524521
Media literacy is dead so kids have to judge each others' writing on silly little nitpick rules like these rather than theme, meaning, subtext or anything that would require actual literary analysis.

>>23524521
>Don’t use filler words like: “that”, “just”
I mean, I kind of agree with that one. 95% of the time the words are not needed.

>Don’t use adverbs/adjectives. You must use extremely cliche copy-paste phrases like clenched fists, furrowed brows, or whipped head instead
This one definitely enrages me though

>>23524512
>anyone can do it
False, as daily proved by this board.

>>23523391
So if I wrote nigger a million times I'll have 20k?

>>23524688
No, it means that you would need to pay someone else 20k to edit your nigger manuscript.
They might suggest changes like 'perhaps try coon here' or, 'instances 2 through 1,000,000 of 'nigger' are redundant, go after the jews and chinese for broader apeal'.

>>23524401
Because women love voicing their idiot opinions. I watched a pack of them tear apart some poor dude at my writing group recently. The dude's writing needed polish, but he clearly wrote the most interesting thing there and had a far stronger voice than anyone else. They didnt like his story because it was too masculine and grotesque and unapologetic. It triggered their delicate sensibilities and they dogpiled on him. It felt like I was watching a microcosm of the current state of publishing.

These dumb bitches all regurgitate the same dumb advice as if everyone is striving to write the next Twilight or Harry Potter. They cant imagine a work of fiction that tries to do anything else, so they cant change their advice based on what the story wants to be. Like hey, this piece is offensive, so telling it to not be offensive is like putting a round peg in a square hole.

>>23522083
i liked it, you used big words and seemed smart and knew what you were talking about

>>23521410
Challenge write a short story around these randomly picked tv-tropes:

>Satan in diguise (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Laconic/LouisCypher)
>Moe Couplet (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MoeCouplet)
> Literal Change of Heart (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LiteralChangeOfHeart)
>God test https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GodTest)
>Hanging Up on the Grim Reaper (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HangingUpOnTheGrimReaper)

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I'm too distracted. I have work to do monday to friday. On the weekends I usually have some stuff planned. Even a lazy weekend usually involve doing some sports, or just plain doing groceries and laundry.

I'm almost tempted to take a couple days off, stock up on snacks, drinks, frozen pizza (the good kind), and just OVERDRIVING my way to 15k words, which is about the size of what's left of my first part. I am confident enough in my outline that I know I won't run into any major plothole that would force me to stop and think about what comes next. Obviously, there will need to be rewrites later on, but at least there would be something to write over.

Thoughts? Anyone did this? Or are you all living the neetking life and I'm the only one wageslaving?

>>23525115
none of it is an easy solution, but what has worked for me
>waking up an hour earlier and using that time for writing
>writing notes on my phone during lunch break
>not playing games/watching anything/doing anything after work until I have written

>I'm almost tempted to take a couple days off, stock up on snacks, drinks, frozen pizza (the good kind), and just OVERDRIVING my way to 15k words
give yourself one more day than you think you need, but there's no reason you couldn't do it

>>23525115
I had to write that way before I went fulltime. Whether you call it ADHD or life just grinding you down, some people really need fewer and more salient tasks or writing is slow.

Suicide or rape?

>>23524521
>- Third person POV, but write it like first person.
What?

what programs do you guys use to type? getting tired of having to re-activate MSWord every so often

>>23525228
So get a freeware application like LibreOffice instead pirating word, you stupid nigger.

How do I describe a person? I know this is a stupid question, but I'm really struggling here. I feel like I should be able to pull out a metaphor like "x was the type of person that ..." but I'm blank.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Maybe I need some coffee.

>>23525257
Obviously, you haven’t actually put much thought into the character yet. They’re a plot point rather than a person. Take a moment to really think about the character. What does he or she look like? Why are they the right person for this role in the story? How do others perceive this character? Is that accurate? Or you can do retarded shit like figure out who this character’s mother’s first lover’s 2nd pet was.

>>23525250
Please don't respond unless you have a useful comment, thanks.

>>23524148
i have literally posted my graduate level manuscript in this thread and yet no one has read it

>>23525302
Fuck you we don’t have to read your shit this is the writing general not the reading general god damn you a stupid piece of shit

>>23525275
No, I have put some thought into the character; it's the description that is giving me a headache. I could just say "he had black hair and a penchant for destruction" but it seems like a boring way to go about it. I'm looking for a little flourish, a colorful way to highlight an aspect of the character's personality.

>>23525257
>>23525312
NTA
if you do have some idea of the character's characterisation and "only" struggling with how to articulate it, be more observant in your everyday life. you probably aren't unimaginative or undescriptive or lacking coffee -- just unobservant. if we go by your starter:
>x was the type of person who wouldn't smile back at a cooing baby
>x was the type of person who only ever drank lukewarm recently boiled water, preferably after filtration through an active charcoal cartridge. he wasn't even sure it did anything but it sure beat drinking the swamp water in that trailer.
>x was the type of person who had an elaborate system of alternating the shoes he wore throughout the week, allowing for at least 48 hours between wears for the materials to recover and return to their optimum integrity.

+ I know you're just illustrating your point but I'm personally not a fan of the "...was the type of person" construction anyway, might just be me but it feels clunky. any of those examples I pulled out of my ass would be better without it

>>23525312
If you’d put in as much thought as you claimed then you wouldn’t be having this problem. But hey, I’ll humor your bullshit. Let’s say “penchant for destruction” is what you want to highlight. I’m sorry, but “show don’t tell” is good advice here. Don’t wait for the moment the main character looks over Tough Guy to lay the description on us. SHOW how he’s tough. Maybe he’s just entered a rowdy bar, and everyone is getting out of his way to keep from pissing him off. Are there little things about him which shows he’s been in a lot of fights? Scars on the face? Are his knuckles busted up from a recent fight? Tattoos which indicate gang affiliation? Maybe prison? Military? Blood stains on his clothes? Is he so violent because a drinks a lot, and so reeks of booze? Maybe he’s a little jittery before he starts sucking down a beer at the bar, indicating he’s on the verge of withdrawal.

Listen to this guy. >>23525324
Not this guy. >>23525326

>>23525221
Both.

>>23525257
physically? describe them
emotionally? show them doing something
3rd person omniscient horseshit? give a little blurb starting from when they were five years old about how their father gave them the belt, but only when they were really bad, they enlisted in the military but washed out due to substance abuse, they worked some odd jobs like construction to make ends meet, they got a few tattoos, and now, for whatever reason, they've decided to grace the reader with their presence
obviously don't do the 3rd one, unless you are working on multiple layers of irony

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>>23525257
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proof_by_contradiction
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_space

In most cases, I start by defining who/what the character strictly ISN'T, to determine the shape of the wake they cast. People are a product of their genes and their environment, so the possible forms a character can take are typically limited to a subset of all possible forms.

In turn, describing the effects they have on their environment and the people around them can also illustrate their true form.

But there's a spectrum to it. The less agency a character has, the more they are defined by their surroundings. Inversely, the more agency/power/influence they have, the more they are the ones doing the defining, and the environment bends around them.

So my most influential, charismatic, strong, etc, characters are defined first by their circumstances they lived in before they became powerful, but then begin to change their environments more than they are changed by them. As I move through characters, the less agency they have, so the less they change their environments, and more they get pushed around by changes in the environment made by more powerful characters.

This approach works for every level of agency, from a god down to an earthworm.

Every attribute can be accounted for, from intelligence to size to fashion choices to religions to cuisine to vocation, etc.

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>>23524869
pic related

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>>23525530
>In most cases, I start by defining who/what the character strictly ISN'T.

Forgot the important bit: Once you define a few key characters this way, other characters define themselves purely out of the shapes in the wakes of more powerful characters. And after you flesh these new characters out, they produce their own wakes that are then added to the original wakes.

By the time you're 30-50% through a story, characters are now largely creating themselves. Even characters you never would have thought to create start popping up, with complex personalities and backstories, just because you've eliminated all of the other possible combinations when defining your other characters.

>>23525324
>>x was the type of person who wouldn't smile back at a cooing baby
>>x was the type of person who only ever drank lukewarm recently boiled water, preferably after filtration through an active charcoal cartridge. he wasn't even sure it did anything but it sure beat drinking the swamp water in that trailer.
>>x was the type of person who had an elaborate system of alternating the shoes he wore throughout the week, allowing for at least 48 hours between wears for the materials to recover and return to their optimum integrity.
um, but anon, you're TELLING me that, not SHOWING me ...

>>23524869
Just because you’re an autistic freak who went “heh, based” to a similarly autistic freak’s misogynistic ramblings doesn’t mean it was actually good.

How to I learn to write more abstractly? Everything I write comes off as very literal. If a car is blue I write there was a blue car. I don't know how to make it sound prettier than that. Especially with thoughts. He was mad? Well, okay, show him punching a wall. Moving on. There has to be more to it how I can explain his thoughts than that.

>>23525622
There's nothing to be gained from writing abstract bullcrap. Say things as they are. But that doesn't mean you have to be boring.

>writing something way too personal
>it's too personal to publish
>it's so personal it's good

>>23525653
But it sounds like an AI wrote it when I do that.

>>23525683
Nonsense. AI is trained to put out flowery drivel that says nothing. It's in being concise and effective that it absolutely sucks. That's what you should work on.

>>23525530
Interesting approach. I've been doing something similar with moral agency, but not that thought out. To put it simply, a character with limited agency is able to be a cantankerous dickhead but his influence is mostly limited in scope to other (semi)willing non-agents; whereas someone with power, and therefore the capability of being a moral agent, can be outright evil. This extends into good as well, but the trick of it is in how a character expands agency or fails to recognize it. This gives you people who expand or contract their reach and achieve or fail as agents in response to how aware they are of the impact of past and present circumstances.

Then they interact and it creates novel dynamics.

>>23524918
thanks, honestly I rewrote it already but it's nice to be encouraged

>>23525694
>AI is trained to put out flowery drivel that says nothing
A lot of people are, too.

This is the 7th project i delete from my computer, i don't complete anything i just start and then delete everything after i work on it for a while.
Please tell me i am not the only one.

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I thought the writing or the editing would be the worst part but actually it's the promoting. What a wretched miserable waste of time. If people don't buy the thing because a few others bought it and gave it poor reviews, alright, fair game, maybe it just isn't very good. But death by complete obscurity is a crushing experience and just makes me want to give up and forget I ever wrote the damned book.

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>>23525937
There are book reviewer youtubers, strange eons is one. you know the bowl cut lesbian that clowned on Onision. there's also this dude that did the same with his book. Be aware they're going to be harsh but fair with you.

My strategy is to get it in the national library, idk about your country but here you pay 20 euros, wait 6 months and they add it to the inventory. Then libraries can buy your book if they got need for that genre. Only illegal or downright unreadable content gets rejected.

Then there are those book boxes in some neighborhoods, I'll just buy a few of my own book from amazon after self publish and put it in. for those that don't know a book box is a thing you can take or leave books in. Then I'd just spam the hell our of twitter

This is as far as I'm willing to go for marketing.

>>23525937
I honestly don't know how anyone can get into self-publishing and hope for anything more than a complete cointoss.

Have you tried commissionning good art of your character to give your book a kind of visual identity ? That's about the only thing I can think of that would somewhat catch my eye. Or just comb youtube / tiktok and sends the book for free to influencers, god bless you if you try.

>>23525955
It is in the (German) national library, and available on Amazon and other big retailers, but that doesn't mean that anyone's gonna click on it.
I might actually do the book box thing, and I'm trying to do social media but with zero followers on a new account that's to the same effect. Best thing I can think of is to post subject-related funny pictures with the right hashtags and hope that this makes someone check my profile. I am also looking at doing a giveaway, but I'm not sure where to do that yet.

>>23525956
Yeah, fair. I have very cool cover art, I think it's the only thing that would attract me to a new book with no reviews as a reader, other than the premise description.

>>23525955
>My strategy is to get it in the national library, idk about your country but here you pay 20 euros, wait 6 months and they add it to the inventory. Then libraries can buy your book if they got need for that genre. Only illegal or downright unreadable content gets rejected.
Explain. If I self-publish, PoD, how do I get it into my local library?

>>23525921
you should work on getting your mental illness under control before you start your next, abortive, project

I have this problem where i cannot at all write a character until i have visually designed them by whatever means, it's just so much easier when you see them.

>>23526004
I literally googled ''how do I get my book in the library?''' in my language, got a gov site.

>>23525955
thank you my n word

>>23525578
No. You see, I'm actually ridiculously good at critique, so I'm confident that I'm right here. The women in my writing group all write crap. Meeting after meeting. And they all write in the exact same style. If you erased their names from the submissions I wouldnt be able to tell who was who. While there's nothing egregiously wrong with their writing, there's also nothing interesting about it. How many fucking times do I have to read some story about what it's like being a 30-40 something middle class woman-- and hear about in such a dour, serious tone? As if milling about a shopping mall, waiting for a date to arrive, as a white woman, is the most important thing in the world. As if a pregancy story where-- gasp! There's blood when the water breaks! Is some Old Man and the Sea level literature.

This shit is clearly not for me. It's like eating old stale crackers for literature. But I dont complain. I give my best critique. Becca, your story has no conflict. Again. Stacy, the narrative arc here is: they're not friends but then they're sort of friends, but not really? Ashley, I love the way you describe the shopping mall in Brisbane. So authentic. Maybe one day, in the year 2124, there will be some anthropologists who want to know what it was like being a middle class white woman in the early 21st century, and these girls stories will have great value to their research. But they will never have literary value.

And then one day some guy shows up with an actual fucking voice, channeling his inner Hunter S Thompson, writing some shit that has some spice to it. Something that isnt deadly serious and actually has a playful tone. Holy shit. Finally. Someone who isnt a wannabe Colleen Hoover. And yeah, his shit was rough and needed work, but at least there was substance to it. And it's just 30 minutes of "uhh... this is problematic" and "I would cut out the puking scene."

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>>23526033
I just look at comics until I find a character who looks close enough to what I was thinking, or if I wasn't thinking of anything I try to picture the characters in the comic acting out the major scene of the book and see how that goes.

>>23524290
Yes, most PC games. I remember getting a Jane's flight sim manual that was the size of a paperback dictionary. Check the Archive for uploaded manuals but your bread and butter is going to be 1992-2002 PC RPGs and games based off of tabletop properties. Didn't know how good we had it.

>>23525228
LibreOffice and Google Drive when I'm away.

>>23524290
>>23526408
What anon said, Sierra had good writers and point and clicks also had some good settings and writing. You tended to get a few pages of synopsis leading up to the game starting, because they just fucking started back then, and lore that didn't fit into how truncated and rudimentary multimedia cinematics were. The manuals were a catch-all for how cottage and last minute the industry was and some are their internal design bible.

>>23522031
Focusing on 'good prose' when you haven't even finished ten books is a bit like focusing on learning how to build a house when you haven't even built a stool.

>>23526555
It's not like that at all.

Where do you even find cover designers? I saw a site last night that wanted $600 for a cover.

>>23526692
use AI to make it. nothing crazy, something more abstract or stylized. then clean it up in GIMP

>>23526701
What's a good free AI site? Most of the ones I've seen make me sign up or pay

Does anyone come up with ideas and then get pissed off because you know someone somewhere is going to interpret it in some dumb way?

>need to show this army is a real threat
>let's have their arrows twice as big
>"hur dur this is clearly about penis size hur dur"

>>23526710
Interpreting every minor thing as a dick is half the fun of reading.

>>23524225
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY WHO REPLIED CALLING ME A RETARD FOR NOT USING THE ARCHIVES? AM I GOING CRAZY?

>>23526709
You got a big dick graphics card or M chip MacBook with a fan? Downloading all the shit and prompting works better, and you get higher resolution output, which you need for a book cover.

>>23526770
I got a gtx 960 2GB. Is that enough? I didn't know you had to download stuff to do AI now.

>>23526323
see anon, when you have the gift of an active and extreme imagination the work of others simply doesn't cut it.
No matter how rough or crappy, i *need* to make it.
A lot of personality is in looks and how someone holds themselves

>>23526781
>2GB
It's so fucking over for you, unless you're fine with waiting an hour.

>>23526770
please just pay me 50$ to make a cover i need weed.

>>23526701
I dont think most people would buy a book with an AI cover

>>23526884
do they want those ultra glossy obviously AI humanoid characters, no
but literally anything else will be fine. look on amazon right now for new releases in fantasy or romance and basically every cover will have been made in AI, even the ones you think, well that obviously isn't AI. newsflash: it is

>>23526910
I will stick to my principles and never use ai. AI is seriously ruining everything in image search btw.

>>23526408
>>23526506
thanks

I feel a bit sad now that every game doesn't have those cool ass manuals. I can't recall how many times I read Starcraft's manual cover to cover

>>23526926

I have the same attitude but software developers are rapidly integrating it into everything. In a few years, if you want even basic creature comforts like a dumbphone or spreadsheet software you're going to be made to use it at least indirectly to some extent, or made to support its furtherance indirectly to some degree i.e. with the presence of major companies in your investment portfolio unless you manually strip those out and divest. And then once everyone's used to it another five or ten years down the road, they'll just stop giving you the "turn it off" or opt-out button.

I want to do a new story and I have a general idea of what my character will do but it's too hot to think of anything else, let alone build a new world, support characters, enemies, etc.

>>23526910
>newsflash: it is
Maybe you do have a chance, youre as much of a snarky faggot as Stephen King.

>>23525278
Recommending LibreOffice over M$ Word wasn't useful advice?
>>23525302
Did you? When?

>>23526292
Your guy in these meetings sounds like a hero. Reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk being asked to leave that women's group of writers after he shared his story about a guy who fucks a blow up doll

>>23526292
It could be worse. They could be writing fantasy or sci fi.

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>try to commit to 500 words a day
>can only get 134 - 218 words after two hours
>published author that was hosting a workshop says he can do 1,000 to 1,200 words in the same amount of time
How do I get my word count up yet not bloat up my story

>>23527424
I personally spout everything out good or bad. For fixing it, that comes with second draft later.

Writing for the market is on the same level as ancient shamans rubbing crystals on cancer growths. It's just a dance. None of that shit you're doing makes your work any more likely to reach a wider audience or guarantees you'll make dough. You're basically just boosting your confidence.
>inb4 but I wrote for the market and now I'm successful
correlation ≠ causation

Just write what your heart tells you to, OK?

>>23527459
So are you saying it's okay to skip buying an editor?

>>23527424
>can only get 134 - 218 words after two hours
You just wrote 1/3 of that in your post and I refuse to believe it took you more than a minute. How about actually writing your story?

>>23527508
If I remember correctly, there where GRRM and Stephen King spoke to each other about writing. GRRM made a remark about sentences looking like shit and making them look proper is like constipation. That's what happens when I try to write 500 words a day anon.

>>23521410
You all are writing genrefic and erotica aren’t ya?

>>23527514
Anon, I'll let you in on a secret. Everything is shit. Everything. There's nothing that isn't shit. Beauty is like a mirage that moves further away as you run after it. GRRM and Stephen motherfucking King talking about proper sentences is some real black comedy. Instead of that, you should think about what it is that you actually want to say with your story and are you actually getting that across. For most people, that's high enough a hurdle. No need to drag abstract concepts into it.

>>23522901
Damn dude if you're working 40-70 hours a week you probably have bigger issues than not being able to write, I'm really sorry to hear

>>23527517
Nope.

>>23527477
If the editor gives you a song and dance about making the work more commercial, that's not an editor, it's a grifter.

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>>23522901

>>23526177
what the fuck did you call me? in here you call me a NIGGER you got that?

>>23526555
No it's not. Focusing on good prose *is* learning to build a stool. I don't relate to the mindset that the actual words you choose to write are a kind of fancy ornamentation that your layer on top of the important stuff, the 'content'. I think writing is about seeing what you can do with language, just as woodworking is about seeing what you can do with wood, and engineering is about getting a bunch of inert metal parts to spring to life. If you can't get your voice right, your story's dead on the page: it's just clunky fan-fiction for your imagination, instead of something with an independent, solid, lively existence.

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>>23527517
You know it

Do writers get pigeon holed? For example if I wrote a fantasy novel would it be difficult to market a litfic for my next one? Any pushback from publishers?

>>23527826
Yes, writers do get pigeonholed, that's why it's your duty to push past it and become a genre-crossing chad.

>>23527827
So should I try the litfic one first to give myself more options for the next book? Or just write whatever I want and make sure it's so good they have to publish it?

>>23527826
If you build a fanbase with fantasy most probably won't follow you over when you start doing World War 2 dramas

>>23527826
I think you're putting the cart before the horse, friendo.

>>23527832
Just write what your heart tells you to, OK?

>>23527845
assume that both books are finished and I'm ready to choose one to query with

>>23527852
In that case, go with a pseudonym.

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>>23526692
Picrel is always an option

>>23527826
Amazon will let you self-publish whatever mix of genres you feel like.

>since 09.11.2001 he...
Is it fine to write a date like this in a story?

>>23528213
I don't think so, unless it's a in-universe document or a robot speaking.

>>23528213
Putting a full date in the middle of a story like that seems like it'd fuck up the pacing, but I'm biased because I hate writing numbers.

>>23528213
No, that's weird, and suggests you should read more books. Just write it how you'd say it:
>since 9/11 he...
or
>since the September 11 attacks he...

>>23522268
You think that just because someone takes your money they know what they're talking about?

>>23522031
>an unreadable slog with no plot
Somebody got filtered by Pynchon

>>23522013
>their free use of it led to severe damage. Thus necessitating the tribe self impose limitations
A society changing its destructive behavior to save its environment? Come on, anon. I know it's fantasy but we can only suspend our disbelief so much

>>23521926
>chilling ire
>presumption of desire--
>that drives insane
>The melting snow the purest water will bring
I don't like these parts but the rest is good.

>>23527012
I had a similar experience in a writing group. Old farts, middle aged women and genderblobs writing the most uninspired, waffley bullshit about nothing and I came in with a story about a vacation that ended a few friendships in a hilarious and all too relatable manner. Pretty tame all around, just characters that felt entitled to a space and how you don't know people until you spend real time around them, even friends you have history with.

It pretty much ended the group. All that infighting came out.

Palahninuk and that anecdote heavily inspired it. Too bad I never ended up learning from a published author in the fight club house.

>>23522083
>Imagine a world without basic amenities such as plumbing, air conditioning, or electricity!
I hate this line, it comes across as condescending as fuck.
Overall this piece was well-written but didn't give me personally any new information or deeper insights. Honestly feels like you're dumbing things down a bit too much.
Also, I really prefer when nonfiction works open on an overview of the whole work. As-is I can't pin down exactly what your book is about. War? Civilization? History? Politics? It seems to jump around these things with little cohesion, but that might be an illusion remedied by including a simple introduction that lays out what the book is.

https://litter.catbox.moe/hhmflm.pdf
I just realized where this is headed and I don't know if I have the balls to commit.

>>23528535
>they covined
it already sounds pretentious with the use of such an archaic word

>>23528535
Seems you wrote this in a fervor. It's filled with errors and I can't tell what the hell is going on or what they're talking about most of the time. You sacrificed digestibility for creative prose. But Pynchon does the same thing and people really like him, so you do you

So I'm having a bit of trouble deciding on how to proceed with my story and was hoping someone might be able to give me a spark of inspiration here.
>Wild west setting
>Fifteen year old boy witnesses a demon kill his family
>Learns how to kill said demon from local preacher
>Goes to town demon said it was headed for
>Can't find demon
>Realizes that the demon is either already among the town's two thousand residents or somewhere along the road he took, but hidden somehow
I can't decide how to have him find the demon.

Searching the town and finding him seems implausible, as he's young with no connections and has no money. But heading back seems to literally be retreading the sequence I just had where he heads to the town as fast as possible, also seems to cheapen that sequence. My current thoughts are:
>Sheriff from hometown finds MC to bring him back, only for the both of them to stumble upon the demon on the way back
>Same as above, except the sheriff decides to buy the boy a meal before they leave the town, somehow MC finds the demon and sneaks off once more
>MC goes into the town alone and manages to find either the demon or the occultists who summoned it there, but how?

>>23528684
>Searching the town and finding him seems implausible
>but to stumble upon the demon would be plausible
That don't make no sense.
How come the MC can't just go around asking townsfolk things that lead him to the demon? Seems like it would be a good way to inject some subtext into the dialogue as the MC dances around the supernatural nature of his inquiries.

>>23528535
Wish I could give you feedback, but it's very uninviting and hard to read for my tired brain. Obviously you're aiming for something specific, but are you certain you couldn't get the same effects and communicate the same ideas without the deliberately artificial syntax and diction? It would be worth attempting to, I think, as a writing exercise at least.

>>23528733
>How come the MC can't just go around asking townsfolk things that lead him to the demon? Seems like it would be a good way to inject some subtext into the dialogue as the MC dances around the supernatural nature of his inquiries.
That's kinda what my original plan was, but it seemed a bit forced to have a hungry teenager with no connections or money, who is running on almost no sleep for a day straight, questioning people in a town he's a total stranger in. The demon is disguised as a man, so that makes it even more difficult to find.

>>23528779
>MC collapses exhausted on somebody's porch
>a nice family or old person with a pet lives there
>he/she/they take him in, feed him, let him recuperate
>helps him question townfolks
or
>MC is arrested for being a runaway vagabond
>stern but heart-of-gold deputy hears him out about the danger
>is skeptical at first but experiences something supernatural firsthand
>helps him out with police resources
or
>the MC was himself the demon the whole time

>>23528799
I've already had enough exposition from MC to others, but you gave me an idea to have the MC pretend he's looking for an uncle or other family member and describe the demon.

>>23528881
Glad I could help, now write that shit

>>23521410
Follow me on twitter so i can get advice on my novella @AlexQuijan0

>>23528894
I'll follow you but only if your novella is any good. Upload it to litter.catbox.moe post the link and we'll see

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How do you guys stop yourself from getting too pretentious or trying too hard with vocabulary?

Cause I kind of feel like that one French chef from the UK Kitchen Nightmares where everything is some less well-known synonym of a more commonw ord

>>23528918
My lexicon isn't big enough for me to be pretentious with my vocabulary. Lexicon is like one of the only tough words I know.

>>23528911
https://litter.catbox.moe/51xetc.pdf

I've uploaded a sample from a chapter in the middle. Its up for 12 hours

>>23528935
my vocabulary isn't big either but I have a bad habit of googling synonyms for common words just to sound cool

I kind of feel like GRRM when he does shit like "nuncle" or "four-and-twenty" or "much and more"

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>>23528644
There's a coat of mountain talk over it, but I'm pretty sure all the spelling errors are intentional. I did find one error just now, I'll admit. It took me weeks to get this far, I'll make note of that and adjust how manic and catywompus it is. I wanted it vernacular and unsettling, as well as a little poetic, but I may have gone too far.

>>23528758
Some of it's just how we talk around here. I'm like, a total hick when it comes down to it. There's a whole level of grammar, inflection, pitch accent and rhymes that probably don't work on your end. For fuckssake, "long" has 3 vowels and a trip over the mountain to say right. Foment and ferment are homophones. Begatten is a commonplace word. What and that are nearly interchangable, as is using nothing at all and slamming two clauses together. We have our own dictionary and she's a chunky chonker slammed full of things I'm reluct to take to town if'n I were trying to be understood the least bit.

The rest is a phenomenal foray into the occult, it's going to be opaque or very clear depending on your own relationship with that subtext. It's also just a dumb story about two theatrical dorks doing weird and edgy shit in the woods and what comes of it. It's something to them and I wanted the prose to follow. I'll note it for revisions.

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I think it reads much better now that I removed that whole section of my serial killer profiling the kid's attack on the victim he hears on the radio.

>>23528893
First, lunch. There's some toasted sausage and cheese raviolis calling my name.

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so I asked advice for a sci-fi radiation that slows people down and someone here suggested slowing down metabolic function

I finalized that it would affect cell's ability to absorb fuel, both food and air for living things

But I wanted some feedback on how that would FEEL for a person. Since they're still breathing deeply, inhaling a lot, but their cells just can't get enough. I googled how an asthma attack feels cause I thought that'd be a similar feeling.

>"As the glow washed over them, many began to gasp and wheeze. Bertrand felt like he was five again, and his older brother was sitting on his chest. He grit his teeth and kept on walking forward, but found each step as straining as lifting a barrel."

>>23528955
Feast

>>23529045
Glad you liked my suggestion. Asthma is a good comparison, anxiety attacks might be another good one to look at

>>23528918
I feel like you're calling me out and generally, I aim for clarity and easy speech that uses a lone precise word for what there is no ready substitution for. n+1 theory and context clues go a long way, as do the requirements for psych papers; being able to be understood by an intelligent but uninformed layman is the order of the day. Technical terms are explained when presented, elevated diction refulgent with ergodic diction such as this is avoided when possible; you write like you want to be understood without dumbing it down and being reductive. Checking for grammatical inversions and clausal soup often clears up the worst of it.

>>23529067
>I feel like you're calling me out
I'm not cause I find I do shit like "proclaimed" instead of said a lot or "sauntered" instead of walk often

thanks for the advice though

>>23529076
I was just fucking with you, I posted >>23528535 and the response was like I wrote Trainspotting. I used "intoned" once and question that more than anything else.

>>23528955
I mean, it's legible. And kudos for aspiring to tackle heavy subject matter. But that's about all I can think of that's positive.
The dialogue is very flat. Lines like
>‘I need you,’ I moaned, ‘I want to feel loved.’
>‘I’m useless, father.’
>‘Maybe I’m just depressed.’
all feel like speaking in subtext. This should be stuff readers pick up intuitively instead of it being stated outright.
The plot is pretty dull. There's a dilemma (the MC is depressed) but not much conflict (opposing forces struggling for intertwined goals). As a result the story just seems to meander on trivialities.
I-M-O, your prose lacks any unique voice or style. This isn't a matter of picking the fanciest words out of a dictionary but of finding unique combinations of words and sentences.
You should also use more pronouns. The word "orange" is repeated far too many times.
Unfortunately, no follow

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It's too fucking hot to write. Why didn't I just try to write a book in november?

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>>23529183
It's only 98 and there's a bare breeze to spite the afternoon still. Perfect writing weather.

>>23529183
Don't you have AC? Or at least a fan?

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Do you guys do art for your characters?

>>23529248
No because I have no drawing skills and I don't want to taint my memories of my characters with AI pictures of them.

>>23529264
Obviously we all have to generate some kind of AI garbage to stand out amongst the sea of other AI covers. It's amazing how much better you can make your image look with just a basic understanding of the tools.

How many time is the

***

break too much ? I've noticed I can have one per 1000 words at least. I use them when there are shorts ellipsis in narrations that doesn't warrant a change of POV, which is how I separate chapters.

>>23529342
It doesn't matter in the least but some snake oil merchants will try to convince you it does

>>23529342
it's probably a good thing, people these days have short attention spans

>>23529199
based outdoors-writing scrivenerchad

>>23529342
>I've noticed I can have one per 1000 words at least
Are your scenes anything but barebones lists of action and dialogue? Are there no ideas that you'd want to explore in more detail than that?

>>23529486
Well yeah, but so far I haven't come into an idea I needed to stretch out for more than 1000-1500 words.

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post word count for current project
screenshots only you liars

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>>23529482
I try.

In other news, I'm not writing like this for the rest of the manuscript, it's purely to make a point in a really loud way so that no one can say the rest is too subtil. It's exhausting being this obtuse and genuine.

>>23529510
it's a little hard because I have multiple rewrites but somewhere around 8,000-10,000

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>>23529248
yes I do art but I'm pretty dogcrap at drawing

so far all I can draw is the simple stuff on the very right of this pic

>>23529511
It reminds me of the Dark Tower. I intend this as a compliment.

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>>23529510
I aint no pussy

>>23529510
I wouldn't call it an influence but I did read the first book years ago and it does have some of that, doesn't it? I also have no idea how to write youth so I'm reverting to a mix of KJV and Southern parley, because it's thematically appropriate as an analogue to elizabethan and polari.

>>23529662
for >>23529594

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Hello, anon trying to write ladyboy dune here.
I have attempted, but there's just this feeling that something is wrong in what i have written and i just can't see it. I know my dialogues suck i intend to ask a friend to help me out there.

>>23529724
why the hell is your spellcheck pinging on words like "stone" or "ready"?

>>23529748
because it resets to my language every time i close word.

>>23529724
ngl this is kinda kino. think you hit burroughs instead of dune tho, this reads more like Wild Boys

But in terms of criticis vary how your sentences and paragraphs start, like 2/3 of them start with "he" and it kills momentum and depth of imagery. Also don't use double commas, like why bro?

>>23528684
>how should the boy find the demon?
This is your question? The answer will determine how smart the boy is. He either has to sniff him out using clues like Chingachgook hunting a deer, which means he's smart, or he'll have to get lucky and catch the thing while it's prowling around doing demon things, whatever that may be. I know the later option will be more exciting.

>>23529755
double commas are a normal part of my language, forgive me for this transgression against the glorious anglos.
What is Burroughs and Wild Boys?
my main inspiration is my own life path i only compare it to dune cause my friends compare it to dune.
"he he he"
yeah i know, but how am i supposed to vary that?
also i am torn on writing it as Xochiquetzal and using X for a "sh" sound, there is a huge slavic element to the story, but i don't know if this is just bordering on pretentious.

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>>23529510
I finally got enough together to make regular progress.

>>23529724
i didn't capitalize Earth nvm guys gonna kms

>>23526709
Spend some money on your cover, Mr. Cheapo. It costs like $20 to use Stable Diffusion or Midjourney for a month. You're not going to get a cover for cheaper than that unless you go to a Chilli's and steal some crayons.
>>23526859
Post a sample. I'd pay $50 for a good cover, even if it's just a pen and ink Ralph Steadman type illustration.
>>23527012
I hope he shows up to the next meeting. If not I'll probably have to message him.
>>23527302
Sometimes I think I'd rather read a dumb story that infodumps the history of the dark lord Crumudgeon and the five realms of Latin'nameia if it spares me another 12 page manuscript about breaking up with your boyfriend or renting an apartment.

>>23529248
Paladin Barbie, lol.

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>>23528918
I just don't use any pretentious big words and let crabs call my prose shit.
They're free to make their "works" unreadable.

Describe the chapter/scene you're working on
>Man is initiated into a cult
>Ruin it for everyone and leave

>>23529979
>psychopathic sexual predator picks up an unhinged hitcher
>they hit it off rather well and go pick up some moonshine together

>>23528684
Do you have a story, other than random demon hunting kid? Something the demon does while killing his family, something that didn't seem important at the time, becomes the key to spotting the demon while he's trying to hide.

>>23529248
She cute. I would read her book.

What are your chapter preferences?

https://strawpoll.com/BJnXV46X8Zv

>>23528290
Thank you very much!
May I ask why you don't like them? I can see potential reasons:
>chilling ire
For being an oxymoron. Ire is a more fiery/intense feeling, but I think my reasoning behind the expression is clear.
>presumption of desire
I actually like this one. What's wrong?
>that drives insane
Maybe cacophony? The "th-d-z-s" semi-alliteration is malisonous, maybe.
>The melting snow the purest water will bring
I actually like this one as well: the imagery is vivid and the meaning is passionate. Is it the hyperbaton (unusual word order) or the rhythm?

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>>23530102
Your options are pleb tier.

>>23528918
>>23528935
>>23529067
>>23529904
You guys are one step away from ebonics: "why should I speak proper English when I can use my ooga booga galimatias?"

>>23528918
>>23530124
A rich vocabulary adds meaning, nuance, variety, and beauty to your writing. It's a token of respect and a preservation of our language.
Refusing to use better words just because your reader might have to look it up in a dictionary is a disservice to both yourself and your reader.

>>23530124
>>23530136
There is a degree of intelligent speech and there is unduly putting on airs, the latter reads like trailer trash that win the lottery dress.

>>23530143
The matter is that paupers consider any wealth or even the mere sound of coins some kind of insult, a brag.

>>23530124
But I do speak proper en*lish if there even is any. This doesn't mean I have to bloat my story with an obnoxious display of how well I wield the thesaurus.
By the way, how do you like your eyre? Scrambled? Hardboiled?

>>23529158
Disagree

I got called out recently for using 'erroneous' in casual conversational. Society is collapsing.

I found my sister's panties nestled on the bottom of the laundry basket. It's not the first time I had her garments mixed in with mine, but it was the first time her dirty panties was mixed with my clean laundry. There was a crusty pale yellow stain embedded into the cotton fabric and a faint scent of what I could only describe as a mixture of ammonia and lavender. It was a strange combination.

It would be simple to place it back into the washing machine and forget about the item altogether, but I am a rabble rouser. There's nothing more I love than causing drama and needless stress to those closest to me.

I took a sniff. There must be something I can do to embarrass her with this. I racked my brains and wondered if there was a solution in my house. I wandered around my home, entered the basement, and found what I was looking for. It was my monster making machine!

The plan was simple, I just needed to extract the crusty excretion from my sister's panties and place the contents inside the machine. I haven't the slightest clue of what may come out of the machine but what comes out will be one of hilarity and embarrassment for my sister. I took another sniff of the crusty stain. The scent was much stronger---it must have been my excitement.

Thoughts
https://litter.catbox.moe/kd7uy6.pdf

>>23530246
As someone who uses too much parataxis, you use too much parataxis and need to lay off the 'ands' a little, a comma often suffices. Em dashes are also less obtrusive at times.
>began to [verb]
Not personally a fan as it offsets the action, the rain started or it rained in fits and starts would be the direction I'd take it.
>anchored to
Roped on, or anchored by. Realistically you'd pull the keel up and beach it if you can, and not leave it near the rocks if you can't. Unless the hot water and placid nature of what I hope is a bay comes into play and it's a soft apocalypse story.
>A quaint clapboard home...
is a fragment, and not one that works.

I like it content wise, but the narrative voice is a little off. It's a little breathless when you could have some wind and authority to it. Like the voice is trying to be careful and nuanced, but isn't. Reading aloud a few times and a revision would probably fix the worst of it.

It has good tension for the most part, content has an obvious direction that can go anywhere. House bigger on the inside needs like a whole paragraph of circumlocutious lead up.

>>23530289
>House bigger on the inside needs like a whole paragraph of circumlocutious lead up.

?

>>23521926
bone chilling, ire inducing, gem

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>>23530335
Quick and dirty redline, 1000 hours in paint.

>>23530358
This edit doesn't understand the text

>>23530416
Is it supposed to be narrated by an ESL? I also missed
>coat
mail

>>23530433
What are you talking about

>>23530448
There is a poverty of language there, someone who doesn't know much about boats or fish or the sea and doesn't use normal turns of phrase. You bait a hook, cast a line, clouds have names anyone near the water knows and fears, you don't flick a line with a fish on it without bending it because it weighs at least 50 pounds due to the water, fish have a belly (also the only time it's appropriate to use that word outside of pork) and don't have a fucking coat like a dog, "a loud thunder", you don't unhinge a hook, you steer a boat.

Is that enough of a case? If it's all intentional, then there needs to be some context or a little wordplay going on to support if there is no context.

>>23530482
It is intentional as in the narrator is a fish out of water and does not belong to the land but it seems you're also thinking of the text too literally which is not its intention

>>23530499
by intention means the narrator is not a fisher and so descriptions from the narrators pov about fishing will not use terms that fishers use but will take liberties with them. It shows the narrators amateurism when it comes to fishing which is a part of the narrative . Should mention that I myself have belonged to communities of fishers who live on an island, not that I should need to explain this but thought it'd give you context

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>>23530199
Not even a thank you for perusing your mediocrity? Many such cases. Sad!

>>23530544
You're not funny

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>>23530124
noob

>>23530103
All I can say is those lines didn't flow right to me. Reading over them felt like tripping on the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, from my layman's perspective, the poem you posted in the image flows perfectly.

>>23530553
I bet you would've thanked me if I lied and said it was good

>>23530568
No you just come of as being an asshole for no real reason. You sound entitled but nothing was promised to you

It is good btw

>>23530575
I always wonder how writers like this react to getting published. They must blow a gasket when the actual critical reviews start rolling in.

My writing somehow is getting worse

>>23529979
MC gets some head and in exchange receives information about their party.

>>23530562
The rhythm, alright. Thanks.

>>23530586
Don't worry, it was never that good to begin with

>>23530555
kek

>>23530609
Don't say things like that to people. Like seriously shut the fuck up

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idk why it got formatted like this but here's a ~1000 word writing sample, it's the prologue.

it's sci fi in case that's not your thing.

https://ctxt.io/2/AAAYHHlmFg

Most of the stuff I see posted in these threads is better than the actual garbage that "professionals" publish. I think it's because we can learn from their mistakes and do better.

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>>23530618

>>23530621
Nice and suspenseful, I like it

>>23530637
Twat

>>23530668
he mad

Is this grammatically correct?

>Kono was leaning back on the comfortable couch in her room, naked and perusing her freshly pilfered copy of Giggles and Glitter: Fae Charms To Flitter Your Titter, when Aisha quietly opened the door.

>>23530700
It's a book or magazine so you would put the title in italics.

Also please provide more detail for context about Kono being naked so I can properly judge the grammar.

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>>23530705
Perhaps you'll be dissapointed, or pleasantly surprised.

>>23530649

thanks anon, i appreciate it. i just finished the third chapter today.

>>23530728
I hope this story will be illustrated.

>>23521410
Planing out a story in which the gods give a robot a soul just so he can suffer as the one mechanical being in the entire universe with a living spirit. The robot then goes on a quest of enlightenment so it can ascend to a higher state of being and kill the gods that granted it sentience.
What would be the funniest kind of robot to curse with a soul?
>inb4 sexbot

>>23530877
sexbot

>>23530728
you should provide a little more description of Kono's foreskin slowly peeling away to expose the shiny, purple tip of her (his?) hardening cock

>>23530877
Car factory assembly line bot with no eyes, hears, or legs. Just one of those gripper hands on a rod.

>>23530358
Your edits are more like personal nitpicks than solid editing.

How does one come up with a plot like Dorian Grey?

>>23530216
lmao

>>23530216
Don't leave us hanging, anon, what happens next?

>>23530555
what are the chances joyce used ai for this

>>23530877
>mcdonalds hires cashiers
>mcdonalds fires all cashiers and replaces them with lifeless screens to take your order
>gods give one of these screens life
this is hilarious to me

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>>23522031
/lit/ doesnt actually know how to write narratives. They think typing long rambling tangential gobbledygook makes their slop sound more intelligent and artistic. between that and wurldbuilding, plot is the last thing you will ever see discussed here

>>23529511
what the fuck am I reading

>>23531058
how about panty sniffing brother?
>>23530216

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>>23529510

picrel are my stats for my project. the prologue is here. >>23530621

>>23530633
lol no
It's because publishers love the garbage and consider our shit unpublishable.

>>23530927
Untreated schizophrenia.

>>23530927
Be very gay

>>23530499
>write a lot of crap
>e-e-e-everything was on purpose!!
old classic

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>>23531077
Looks good.

Bros. I just wrote a pretty fucked up chapter in my litrpg smut futa series. The MC is basically getting a BJ and their self worth and worldview is crumbling around them while it happens. So they take it out on the cocksucker by throatfucking them, making them feel like they're in control. But after they cum they realize they were the whore the whole time, and the bottom peaces out like it wasn't a big deal.

>>23531105
yet you don't post the passage. Why?

>>23531126
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FKyaBGvR9HJK-wUM6ab-oyuOG1unRIcl8j2ZjYIzhEU/edit?usp=sharing

it's 2105 words. A bit longer than your typical passage

>>23531090
Why do anons do this to other anons? It doesnt encourage anything helpful and just makes hate

>>23531137
Wasn't expecting that ending. Surprisingly depressing.

>>23531139
Unlike most anons, I'm respectful as long as the opponent is. When the other person gets all pissy and rejects the feedback, it's time to point and laugh. Of course, they almost always do. These people are beyond help.

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I don't know if this is the right place, but how quickly and efficently could the U.S. government quaratine or otherwise "block off" the entire Upper Peninsula of Michigan?

>>23531175
they can't even slap a wall between mexico and america. What do you think?

>>23531179
That's not the same situation. Mexico is a foreign country and the boundaries are far longer and wider there.

>>23531182
Ontario is a foreign country too. Look at all that space for boats to sneak through patrols. It's like when they ran speed boats of cocaine to Miami in the 80s. No one could stop that.

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>>23531105
screenshotted

>>23531175
>how quickly and efficiently
Dude.
It's the fucking US government.
What do you think?
While that northern part near leafland would be pretty easy, good luck blockading that part near Wisconsin.

>>23531069
how about you die in a ditch coomer scum

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Please help, I can't write.

I went to bed last night early, slept on melatonin for about 4 hours so I could wake up early today and enjoy writing for a long time undisturbed.

After getting up @ 3 am (+ breakfast), I'm out here writing just fine, but anytime I stop writing I just break the fuck down. I'm too tired. I've almost fallen back into sleep by momentarily touching my bed three times.

This is the only timeslot in which I can write. Please help. Atm, I'm fine because I predicted this and downed some Monster Energy, but I quit caffeine and I won't be on this shit forever.

Any advice is appreciated.

>>23531323
The problem is that you can't sleep. I'm not sure what writing advice I can give you beyond get better sleep or push through the tiredness.

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>>23531326
yessir, I can push, but can I push for 5 hours straight? Because that's basically the time I have.
If there's no magical writer super secret silver bullet for this, then early morning writing is going to be fuarrrked.

Dude I think that's going to be it, then. I get pretty good sleep since quitting caffeine, and if it were just 2 or 3 hours I can thug it out no prob.
Guess I should start avoiding these sleep schedule resets like the plague, then.

Thanks bro, 'preciate it.

>>23531331
bad sleep is a fucker and I empathise with you, but yeah, there's no magic writing advice I can give. It's kind of like when people post about how depression is hurting their writing - it's a depression problem, not writing.
You could try a quick power nap (but sometimes I end up sleeping for longer than I should). But if this is the only time you can write then just dump what's in your head, forget about writing well for now, just use the time and get some words down then worry about quality in the editing stage.